https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 18 Apr 2026 00:14:53 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission/page/2#post-1906808 Wed, 11 Apr 2018 06:44:31 +0000 Gigi 1906808@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes. Yes. Yes!</p> <p>I can identify with much of what you wrote. I have a great emotional need to wear clothing that makes me feel fab (including underpinnings), and I too have spent an obscene amount of money--even though I have gotten bargains where possible and have not just spent willy-nilly.&nbsp;</p> <p>I didn't have the money, but I had to be honest with myself and admit that it was extremely unlikely that I would ever have the money...and I needed proper, life-affirming clothing NOW. So I looked at it as any other expense and went ahead with it, even if it meant racking up some debt in the short term.</p> <p>I'm glad that you gave yourself permission to view your underwear situation as a true emotional *need* and that you took care of it accordingly. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission/page/2#post-1906765 Wed, 11 Apr 2018 02:25:34 +0000 Jaime 1906765@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I understand very well the part about giving yourself permission. I am glad you did and it is a huge step. The therapeutic power of a good foundation is indisputable. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission/page/2#post-1906747 Wed, 11 Apr 2018 01:49:11 +0000 Carol 1906747@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>They say the right undergarments make you feel confident from the inside out, so why not?&nbsp; Congratulations on getting healthier.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission/page/2#post-1906744 Wed, 11 Apr 2018 01:41:12 +0000 Brooklyn 1906744@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>CS, that is very inspiring. If there is one thing I have learnt about maintaining a positive attitude in life, it's to look forward and not look back. And making sure that you have things to look forward to (however big or small) is incredibly important to mental health. If you look forward to getting dressed in the morning because you have nice underwear, that is a small but important step towards feeling happy and positive the rest of the day. So yay you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906729 Wed, 11 Apr 2018 01:16:03 +0000 Mainelady 1906729@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cindy, you are a warrior goddess! Congratulations on your sobriety and your lifestyle changes to be a healthier version of you. Every step you take, even the baby ones, get you closer to your goal and every day you keep moving in the right direction, you become stronger.<br /> Determination is a powerful tool. Progress happens every day. When things are discouraging, it is so important to focus on the positives. Prayer, positive energy, hard work (and a fierce kick ass wife) helped pull my husband forward after an accident. His progress was slow, but it was progress!<br /> Never underestimate the power of pretty panties! Oh I have laughed so hard at man-pannies! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906689 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 23:56:06 +0000 Anonymous 1906689@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>More power to you Cindy girl! Your determination and resolve are inspirational and you are truly courageous . Kudos.</p> <p>New underwear can do wonders for the soul. I was watching a tv show a few months back and the female lead disrobed to reveal gorgeous under garments. That was my aha moment to lose the granny panties and stretched out bras. I found an online store called “ Her room” that have such lovely things in all price points. Dropped a good amount on new bras, panties, camis and nighties. Oh what a pick me up. Best expenditure ever!<br /> Thanks for the post </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906663 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 22:04:36 +0000 jussie 1906663@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Enjoy your new undergarments, and best of luck with the excercise. I know you will get there xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906641 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 20:54:11 +0000 Chris987 1906641@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, what an inspiration you are Cindy! Kudos to you for working hard to get where you are and being brave enough to share and inspire the rest of us. Like Lisap said, you'd be surprised how many people have various aches and pains and down feelings but don't let it stop them from working out,&nbsp;they just get on with it. I'm not so good at that myself&nbsp;but find great inspiration in the journeys of&nbsp;other people, including you. </p> <p>Out with the underoos and in with the grownup undies!&nbsp; Love Xtabay's undie-science </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906637 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 20:43:12 +0000 cindysmith 1906637@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jane, I look forward to hearing from you as you treat yourself!</p> <p>Angie, &lt;3&lt;3&lt;3&lt;3&lt;3&lt;3 thank you for being such an inspiration!</p> <p>Ledonna, it's good to have you back after your winter break. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone e, thank you for laughing at my insanity with me </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906633 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 20:26:49 +0000 Ledonna N. 1906633@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Im so proud of you and the changes you are making. Most of the the feelings you have expressed here. I'm feeling. You made me laugh all the way while reading. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906632 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 20:24:55 +0000 Angie 1906632@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Cindy,</b> therapy has many faces </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906626 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 20:19:54 +0000 Jane 1906626@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A very good choice to make Cindy. Wise. Well done. I should be doing something similar I think. I find the whole choice thing overwhelming. I think I could set out to update my selection over a 3 month period may be. Thank you for inspiring me. I will let you know where I get to. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906592 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 19:19:25 +0000 Carla 1906592@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congrats on your splurge. Honestly, decent underpinnings is investment dressing - and right up there with specs, hair, dental care, skin care, and a little grooming! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906585 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 18:55:52 +0000 tulle 1906585@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>While I have a different (and somewhat difficult) relationship with underwear from most YLFers&nbsp; who will instantly chime in with "Yes! fancy matching undies!" I can wholeheartedly agree that WHATEVER IT TAKES for you to feel great about yourself is worth the price, and that very often an initial outlay of cash for something of quality will symbolize a new respect for yourself and your needs.&nbsp; For me it was a beautiful handbag.&nbsp; I had been scrimping and saving and thrifting for years without noticing that our family finances had changed sufficiently for me to spend more on myself without guilt. An exquisitely soft leather bag was my first splurge, and several years later, it gives me pleasure every time I use it. I still shop at sales and thrift stores because it makes sense to me, and I enjoy the hunt, but the purchase of that expensive bag gave me permission to consider myself worthy of the best.&nbsp; I'm so glad that you are finding what makes you feel fab now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906578 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 18:19:53 +0000 cindysmith 1906578@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, you're not really a stylist, are you? You're a therapist. Look what you do for all of us! Look at what you've created here! XOXOXOXO </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906574 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 17:58:57 +0000 Angie 1906574@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF YOU, CINDY. I couldn’t be more supportive of these actions and thoughts. Thanks for sharing and being positive. You ROCK. </p> <p>Go Team Undies. Such a brilliant and effective way to feel fab. You are an inspiration, and much love to you. Xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906552 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 16:53:28 +0000 Anonymous 1906552@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cindysmith, I have done numerous informal studies, and have concluded that the positive effect of nice undies on the psyche is immeasurable.&nbsp; You just can't argue with undie-science!&nbsp; :)&nbsp; :)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906546 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 16:47:02 +0000 cindysmith 1906546@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Xtabay, I didn't set out to create a life-affirming thread or anything. Which kind of proves that people who poo-poo out interest in fashion/clothes are full of malarkey for belittling the effect it can have on someone's emotional well-being.</p> <p>Rachylou, thank you for the kind words and empathy! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906542 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 16:34:59 +0000 Anonymous 1906542@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a very life-affirming thread!&nbsp; Thanks for making these posts, which make me feel inspired and energized.&nbsp; Cindysmith, enjoy those new underthings and rock on! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906540 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 16:31:08 +0000 rachylou 1906540@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>YES: gradual lifestyle changes to get healthier doesn't mean I have to keep depriving myself of feeling ok with myself by not buying things that make me feel fab right now </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906523 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 15:31:51 +0000 cindysmith 1906523@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet, if I remember right, you've got physical stuff that makes life less than simple. Don't discount your own stuff just because you think somebody else's stuff is bigger or worse or whatever. You deserve just as many props as the rest of us. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906521 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 15:23:14 +0000 cindysmith 1906521@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa, it does help so much to know that we are many, and we persist. Strength in numbers, even when we're geographically spread out </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906516 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 15:04:03 +0000 Janet 1906516@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I also want to give major credit to you and others who do struggle with pain and issues with exercise and movement. Even though I'm not exactly an athletic goddess (like the old song said, "I don't go too fast, but I go pretty far..."), I manage to do a pretty good bit for someone who grew up as a bookworm/couch potato. I bitch about how hard it was to bicycle 20 miles in cold wind the other day, but the reality that I can do that even without thinking twice, and not having been on my bike in weeks, after spending a week of hiking 8-10 miles a day with no pain or difficulties, is a big deal to a lot of people. You remind me not to take these abilities, modest as they may be, for granted. I wish you all the best in your efforts!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906513 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 14:59:01 +0000 Anonymous 1906513@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cindy - I don't always comment , but I read your posts and am often nodding my head in understanding and empathy. &nbsp;</p> <p>I'm cheering you on in your big underwear investment, while feeling envy at the same time. Mine needs replacing, refitting, updating etc in the worst way, but if I bought new lingerie , I'd have zero left in my already meager budget to buy some new clothes, which I desperately need!</p> <p>I understand so much of what you are saying about trying to stay fit when faced with injuries, hurting body parts and other fun things we experience as we get older. &nbsp;These past 3 months have been the absolute worst for me as I'm fighting with bad sciatic nerve pain, which is making sleep impossible, and working out about the last thing I want to do. &nbsp;Everything hurts. BUT - just last week, I mentioned my sciatica to one of my gym friends, kind of tentatively as I hate women who sit around moaning about their aches and pains , and she didn't even let me finish before saying - oh yes, I've had horrible sciatica for a few years now. &nbsp;I asked how she managed to keep coming to the gym and stay &nbsp;motivated through the pain, and she answered : I just do it. I live with the pain, the discomfort and just get on with it. &nbsp;I've since heard other friends mention back and nerve pain , and it made me feel less pathetic and alone . &nbsp;If they can just get on with life and ignore the aches and pains, then so can I. Anyways - this is my way of saying that bodies get injured , sore, etc, and you are far from alone , nor is this abnormal. &nbsp;I didn't realize how many of my friends were working through some issue or another until I started asking about it.</p> <p>And I'm all about instant gratification too, which is something I'm working hard to get past. &nbsp;I'll take any little improvement I can get, whenever I get it &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906512 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 14:57:25 +0000 Janet 1906512@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Man-pannies! LOL </p> <p>Yeah, I know those trucks (we have one at the ranch).&nbsp;I'll be down in TX in just a few days (just a brief visit of a week, including a couple of days in Dallas for the Old 97s County Fair (I missed last year, darn it, while my hubs was hanging out with Mavis Staples!). Looking forward to warm temps and a little ranch life!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906510 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 14:53:23 +0000 cindysmith 1906510@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet, first off, GOOD FOR YOU! And OMG I wish I could convince my DH of the same thing. While he doesn't drive a fancy car, he does drive a fancy schmancy heavy duty truck; and if he can afford to keep that expensive beast on the road then he can afford to buy new man-pannies when the elastic waistbands stretch out in his current man-pannies. Maybe if I started calling them boxer-briefs instead of man-pannies? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906503 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 14:40:50 +0000 Janet 1906503@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*applause*&nbsp;</p> <p>I did a near-total cleanout and refresh of my sleepwear and underwear drawer after I had my hysterectomy five years ago (yikes, it's really been that long!). I decided that such a change in life warranted treating myself to sleepwear and underwear that look and feel good. For me, and for my husband. I've kept up with frequent refreshing pretty well, and in fact, just did a big edit and refresh of my bra collection, much to my happiness and increased comfort. :-)</p> <p>Bonus, this made my husband more aware of when his underwear becomes less-than-ideal in condition as well. He now understands if I do the laundry and end up throwing out some of his briefs! I teased him that anyone who can afford to drive the car he drives can afford to buy new Calvin Kleins rather than wear underwear with holes in it!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906502 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 14:40:38 +0000 Anonymous 1906502@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you Cindysmith for your kind message it warms my heart thank you </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906500 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 14:34:29 +0000 cindysmith 1906500@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bernard, it takes great courage in westernized society to admit to battling depression, and for a man to do it is even more courageous. We've been so conditioned to think men are strong and men don't cry and etcetera that I'm extremely proud of you for your openness, honesty, and courage. Thank you for your kind support and for being part of this forum!</p> <p>Suz, thank you! Knowing I'm not alone, that others have dealt with the same? Huge. So grateful for the support and hope you're giving so freely and generously!</p> <p>Cardiff girl, now that was a pep talk for sure! Thank you so very much for your passionate reminder that I am, indeed, worth it.</p> <p>Bijou, I had never thought of them as underoos until this morning as I composed this post, but its definitely what they are. And they certainly have their place-some days, it's ok to feel silly and wear captain America underoos. When they become such a staple (as they have in my case), well... that's problematic. And thank you for the reminder that there are far less negative consequences resulting from overspending on underwear than from many of the ways I used to act out (I'm laughing, yet deadly serious too). Much better to order too many bras &amp; pannies than too many margaritas </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/giving-myself-permission#post-1906493 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 14:19:00 +0000 Anonymous 1906493@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cindy Smith do you enjoy it's important especially when life leaves us to wounds I'm a man and I'm currently getting out of a great life injury a great depression that made me take 20 pounds now thanks to the great help I lose that weight I'm motivated to walk every day and now I see a beautiful ray of sunshine. Thanks also to the whole YLF team </p>