https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 10 Apr 2026 23:18:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss/page/2#post-1137672 Mon, 13 Jan 2014 17:35:58 +0000 Alassë 1137672@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sending support to you, Fruitful. I'll second E's fitted top/sweater suggestion from my own experience.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss/page/2#post-1137131 Mon, 13 Jan 2014 00:25:05 +0000 Fruitful 1137131@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So many helpful words here. I have to gather my thoughts to respond. I truly appreciate you. xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss/page/2#post-1136494 Sun, 12 Jan 2014 02:26:05 +0000 josie411 1136494@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good work focusing on a healthier lifestyle! From personal experience I can say that until you reach whatever weight you and your body finds works best there will be awkward moments where your clothes don't support your new physique. That is normal. Try not to worry about what you are not, and focus on what is working for you. Oh, and don't be surprised as your clothes start to fit differently. You are lovely at any weight, but as your body adjusts downward in response to your healthier lifestyle, your existing clothes will fit differently. Try to be patient and loving with yourself and play with new styles that flatter your new physique while not committing to more fitted garments until you stabilize. Once you are in maintenance mode, go whole hog and find the clothes that work for you in your new-to-you body. What fun!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss/page/2#post-1136473 Sun, 12 Jan 2014 01:51:26 +0000 gradfashionista 1136473@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>From your description, we have similar body types. It's really easy to get attached to a particular ideal of how we should look in a particular garment. When I feel glum about my saddlebags poking through the long slinky striped pencil skirt I have--even though the French employee thought it looked fabulous! where is the French sartorial brutally??--I remind myself:<br />a) I am strong. With children, you are much stronger.<br />b) I am healthy.&nbsp;<br />c) My partner still thinks I look great naked. :)<br />d) I look the most proportionate without clothing. Without clothing, my saddlebags are less noticeable and look normal and natural. When I removed the skirt, the saddlebags didn't seem so large.</p> <p>If it's any consolation, small busts have lower breast cancer risks and will not sag noticeably with age. My DD single best friend can't wait to have children, so that she can breastfeed and then have her breasts reduced and lifted.</p> <p>Sending you good vibes and wishing you much success on your health journey. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss/page/2#post-1136458 Sun, 12 Jan 2014 01:22:40 +0000 anne 1136458@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fruitful I have been meaning to reply ever since you posted (my internet cut off just after that and then I haven't had a free moment). Over the years on YLF I have often felt that you had the most the most understanding of my body issues - and I feel the way about yours!! We have so many similiarities as you may remember. I too barely fill out an A cup and yet have ample bottom and thighs.  Sometimes I am tired of dresses fitting everywhere but my bust where there is just unfilled space. And the more weight I lose the higher chance I will have a very bony chest.</p> <p>Mind you, speaking of body comparisions, when you last posted about that spotty dress, I thought you looked so much better and feminine in it than I do  in a similar style - I even took a picture to show you but didn't get around to posting it- I'll see if I can find it. ETA. Pic 1</p> <p>You have had some great advice so I'll only add one more from my experience - I feel more feminine when you can see the curve of my hips defined! Eta pic 2 </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss/page/2#post-1136438 Sun, 12 Jan 2014 00:44:12 +0000 DonnaF 1136438@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I read somewhere that we lose weight from the top down but gain weight from the bottom up.&nbsp; Sound about right?&nbsp; It can take up to a couple of years for the weight to truly redistribute.&nbsp; As mentioned up-thread, you may have gone down a bra band size so would actually be a larger cup size . . . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss/page/2#post-1136412 Sun, 12 Jan 2014 00:06:12 +0000 Angie 1136412@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congrats on your new and healthier body and lifestyle. Although it's an initial pain to feel like you have nothing to wear because you've shrunken out of your clothes - try to enjoy the new chapter and thank your body for being good to you. In time, add items that fit your new size.&nbsp;I love your shape and style. xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss/page/2#post-1136335 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 22:37:27 +0000 Pame 1136335@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Even though I'm petite, I had always been curvy,, (size 5) even in my teen years. Went thru a very bad divorce, developed many health issues that forced me to quit sugar and comfort foods. Now I'm a thin petite. LOL size zero pants and x small tops, plus round backside is thin too. What I do is play up my small waist, rarely surrendering it to clothing. I understand how you feel, but your health is very important and eating sugar is just not healthy; many people can't lose weight because they have altered their metabolism from burning fat to sugar burning. Only way to correct that is to ditch the sugar and 'white' carbs to revamp the body back into fat burning mode. Congrats on beating the sugar addiction! High five! Plus....you may be a tad bummed over coming off your sugar 'high'' and comfort foods. That will pass, try magnesium foods to help=organic brown rice. :)))))) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss/page/2#post-1136291 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:28:02 +0000 deb 1136291@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As I aged I realized that the only cleavage I will ever have is toe cleavage. And I wear it proudly! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136280 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:07:46 +0000 Lyn D. 1136280@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for posting!<br /> On a selfish level I am taking all this great info in as I have thin daughters who can really only get their size in teenage stores - fine whilst they are teenagers but what then?<br /> Personally I too have lost weight recently, but have a B cup, thankfully.<br /> I have read that the clothing standard is made for my chest size, but both my girls are barely A and generally clothing in Australia does not cater well for sizing below 8 (US 4)<br /> I agree that a well fitted bra for when required is key, and more body-con items with higher necklines might celebrate your new figure too.<br /> And whilst the weather is hot you can wear pretty dresses with pattern or frills with great pizazz </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136206 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 18:50:45 +0000 CocoLion 1136206@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congratulations on your weight loss and improved health. &nbsp;Sorry you're having some body image issues, I think we all do. &nbsp;I like what Peri said. &nbsp;Also, swing tops are trending and they look miserable on even a medium bust. &nbsp;But they look amazing on a small bust. &nbsp;Also, tent type sleeveless tops are trending and again, look frumpy on all but a small bust. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136188 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 18:30:05 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1136188@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, the tediousness of having to try on your pants each week to see if they fit! How I remember that - that was most of 2013 for me. And as everyone has said, changing proportions are frustrating too; all of a sudden your FFBOs aren't FFBOs anymore. </p> <p>Zapotee mentioned how your face looks after quick weight loss too - my face as well as my body are still changing and shifting around, even though I've been at 'maintenance' since October ish. My husband, who lost 55 pounds at the same time as me, still has a bit of the drawn face look even though he's still overweight according to the charts.</p> <p>I think that for those of us who have been overweight and wished we weren't, when we do lose weight we think it will solve all of our figure and dressing issues, and of course it won't, and it's uncomfortable to realize that. But real bodies are imperfect and flawed, and of course all the more admirable if you think about it in that way. The grass is always greener as posters on this thread have indicated. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136160 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 18:13:00 +0000 Beth Ann 1136160@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such good thoughts on this thread!&nbsp; No need to add to what has been so beautifully stated already, but I wanted to suggest that you consider "capsule" dressing.&nbsp; Perhaps you could look at the weather and your calendar, and then prepare a small capsule, with mix and match outfits for 2-3 weeks.&nbsp; I do this even though my weight loss has been glacial (around 2-3 pounds per month).&nbsp; Right now, due to weather and being between teaching semesters, my new slouchy turtlenecks, black jackets and relaxed skinnies have been the backbone of my "apres holiday" capsule.&nbsp; </p> <p>I think it might take a little time and planning -- probably a couple of hours, if you try on and snap photos like I do, but you'll feel fabber each day. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136143 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 17:55:45 +0000 Echo 1136143@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congratulations on your new healthy lifestyle and your weight loss! That takes work and perseverance, and is something you should admire in yourself. I think others are right that many of us have body envy all the time, regardless of our weight or fitness level. The American "ideal" of a Barbie thin waist and hips&nbsp;WITH great cleavage rarely happens naturally. At a healthy weight, we almost all revert to our true body shapes.&nbsp;</p> <p>I am hourglassy when I carry more weight, and I honestly feel a little more va-va-voom. When I am at a healthier weight for me, I am more rectangle-ish. My waist doesn't seem to budge much, so I can either grow or shrink my bust and hips around it.&nbsp;</p> <p>I think it is wonderful that you can still appreciate a curvier figure when you have lost weight, as many people seem to get judgey and phobic about fitness and weight. Now you just need to fully inhabit your new frame and find the proper ways to love and appreciate it. It's new right now, and change is always hard, but it will come with time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136142 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 17:54:11 +0000 Linda 1136142@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a colleague who is tall and willowy, and very slim.&nbsp; She told me that she has lost a good deal of weight as she has aged; I have conversely added girth.&nbsp; I would SO love to have her build -- it's what I think of as model-like.&nbsp; She, on the other hand, has always envied me my hair.&nbsp; Not sure why, I think her hair looks fab.&nbsp; She often doesn't dress -- it's not something very important to her, although she dresses when she needs to for professional reasons.&nbsp; If I could rock a pajama bottom, tee shirt and utility jacket the way my friend does, I'd be thrilled.</p> <p>It seems we all envy some aspects or qualities of others, at least some of the time.&nbsp; I've been thinking lately a lot about my paternal grandmother, who, since doing a bit of genealogy, I've realized was rather a fashionable member of our family.&nbsp; I DO remember her as having these amazing dresses, when i was little, but didn't realize how much more aware she probably was than any of the rest of our clan.&nbsp; She was the only person in the family to have a fine bottle of perfume on her dresser (Lanvin).&nbsp; I think she had a few night creams too -- she was taking care of her looks.&nbsp; She too tended to the ample figure as she aged, so I've been looking to keep her as a bit of an inspiration whenever I think oh, to be slim and angular!&nbsp; (It doesn't hurt that she was absolutely my favorite grandparent!).</p> <p>Please, please, wear and enjoy a close fit and those bodycon looks.&nbsp; I adore them, and I USED to be able to wear them, and looking back now on those times, I wish I had appreciated my good fortune in having a trim, fit figure! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136134 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 17:42:34 +0000 Gigi 1136134@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah...cleavage envy. I have it too! I'm always thinking, "If I could have just one more cup size...then I'd be happy!"</p> <p>I myself am somewhat skeletal&nbsp;in structure in my upper half, so I know what you mean about the "spindly" comment. It's hard when everyone else seems so supple and curvy!</p> <p>One thing I will mention in conjunction with your bust is that it's possible you're wearing the wrong bra size or not the best bra type. If your breasts are shallow at the top, you're not going to be able to fill out even a regular&nbsp;A cup very well. I would try a demi bra, which has low-cut cups. When I switched to demis, I thought, "Wow!" when I looked in the mirror. It was the first time I was happy with a bra. (And it wasn't even a push-up!) Another thing I found (thanks to some threads at YLF)&nbsp;was that I was wearing too big of a bra band, and the larger the bra band, the larger the cups (even an A cup). Your bra band number should be close to your underbust measurement. I have been wearing a 32A, but I really should be wearing a 28C. For every size you go down in the band, you can go up a size in cup--so if you're wearing 32A, you could try 30B, then 28C. Getting the correct band number&nbsp;allows your breasts to fill the cups better and positions your breasts more on the center of your chest instead of further to the sides.</p> <p>I will also echo what Peri said. I have been going braless quite a lot lately, and I do wear a lot of spaghetti-strap stuff in the summer (also without a bra). I do think that smaller busts really look good braless! IMO, it looks very feminine.</p> <p>Hang in there! I'm glad you got off the sugar. I haven't eaten white sugar in years, and I felt so much better once I gave it up. I haven't had a cavity since then either. The rewards are amazing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136132 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 17:41:10 +0000 claire 1136132@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congratulations on getting healthier, cutting out sugar has so many health benefits aside from the weight loss. So here's the flip side to you... I have gained over 30 lbs in the last two years and I have a belly and lumps and bumps and boobs. I've gone up two or more cup sizes and at least one band size, and I hate them. I'm so self conscious, I see nothing but boobage (hence my new love for ponchos!), my tops don't drape right and nothing fits how it should, even sizing up. I don't feel pretty or womanly, just big. So perhaps it's not just about the boobs and hips and whatnot but how we feel in our skin?</p> <p>ETA: I don't mean to sound like I don't sympathize with you. I do, just from the flip side. And I echo what Gigi said, a professional bra fitting helped me feel a bit better. Do you have a good lingerie store that does professional fittings? It can make a big difference! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136113 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 17:15:11 +0000 qfbrenda 1136113@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can't identify with a tiny bust--a solid C here--but I totally understand losing weight and having to figure out a new body.&nbsp; I used to have curves!&nbsp; Not so much any more.&nbsp; I lost weight, lost my hips, and found SHOULDERS.&nbsp; Sheesh.&nbsp; It's not a bad thing, but it was so different than what I was used to.&nbsp; It took a while to get used to my new body and learn how to dress it.</p> <p>I love that line:&nbsp; Comparison is the thief of joy.&nbsp; So true. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136101 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 17:03:04 +0000 Anonymous 1136101@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If there is any consolation, I would probably qualify as one of those voluptous women... Heck, I so wish things would just drape.<br /> I think the key here is to realize that changing your weight or your physique is not going to change your perception of yourself. Not happening. Also, weight loss often gives you a bit of a hollowed facial look that improves with time as your body settles with the new weight, perhaps that has you feeling not too fab? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136088 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 16:26:34 +0000 Catnip 1136088@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congratulations on the weight loss and taking steps to be healthy!</p> <p> I understand how frustrating a changing body can be,&nbsp; Some years ago I lost about 25 pounds.&nbsp; You might think that would have made me happy, but it didn't.&nbsp; None of my old clothes fit and when I went shopping I couldn't find anything new that fit.&nbsp; It took at least two years to adjust to and get comfortable with my new shape.&nbsp; I eventually realized that, while my body had changed, my mental perception of my shape also needed to change.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>It's so difficult to lose weight and keep it off, but so worth it.&nbsp; Keep up the good work! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136067 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 15:28:13 +0000 Peri 1136067@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No one has written from the other point of view so I will chime in. As a D cup myself, I can guarantee you your friend has envied you at some point. She has wished:</p> <p>She could go bra less at home in comfort<br /> She could wear a sundress with little skinny straps<br /> She could wear turtle necks<br /> She could wear chunky cable knits<br /> She could wear halters<br /> She could wear some stunning gown with one of those silly stick on bras that claim to work and are a big joke unless you don't actually need a bra at all </p> <p>We all think what we don't have is better. That list made me do it right now! I love what Ornelia said...comparison is the thief of joy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136047 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 14:57:34 +0000 Janet 1136047@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so sorry this is getting you down. I understand. Even though I don't have that issue with the bust (conversely, I struggle with finding running bras that have a small band size but go beyond a DD), I know the frustration of hips and thighs that refuse to get significantly smaller while the rest of me shrinks! </p> <p>It takes time to adapt to body change. You are beautiful! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136043 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 14:51:23 +0000 ironkurtin 1136043@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This thread really resonated with me. Thanks.</p> <p>Although I never wanted larger bosoms. I don't see the point. I have a B cup and they're fine, just a bit of a pain to strap down when I go running. </p> <p></p> <p>ETA to add:</p> <p>When I first discovered that my favorite jeans were too big, I had a nervous fit. I DEPENDED on those jeans!&nbsp; In my head, I had already devised dozens of outfits for those jeans!&nbsp; It was terrible.&nbsp; Then I discovered that none of my workhorse summer dresses fit anymore.&nbsp; They hung off me like sacks.&nbsp; It was painful.&nbsp; So I empathize.</p> <p>At least our shoes will always fit.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136032 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 14:14:00 +0000 Suz 1136032@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nodding along. I've always been small chested, but when I am at a higher weight I am definitely bigger in the bust. And losing weight altered that for sure, meaning I couldn't successfully wear the styles that had been standards for me in the past, like wraps and surplice. I made some shopping mistakes until I figured that out.&nbsp;</p> <p>If you're still in the process of losing, you're still in the process of change, and it can be hard sometimes even to recognize yourself, I'm sure. But over time, your body will "settle" into its new shape, and so will your eyes adjust. And then you'll have the objectivity you need to shop for your new shape.&nbsp;</p> <p>It's funny -- our society puts so much emphasis on weight that many of us imagine that once we're at our ideal weight, dressing will be easy. Well, it typically <b>is </b>easi<b>er</b> -- once we get used to the new shape -- and particularly if we were at the higher end of size ranges at our higher weight.&nbsp;</p> <p>But really, size isn't the whole issue.&nbsp;More important in dressing ourselves well is understanding <b>shape and proportion.</b> And losing weight can definitely mess with that, meaning we need a whole new fashion education.&nbsp;</p> <p>We tend to think, "Ah, if only I were thin..." But attaining that goal then shows us that our&nbsp;body dysmorphia goes deeper. It sounds as if you are getting closer to the root of that -- which can be painful -- yet when you come out on the other side, you'll have incredible confidence and self-assurance. Hugs!&nbsp;</p> <p>PS I am not one really to offer advice about what to do in the interim. In the six months that I was actively losing weight, I wore a uniform of yoga pants and a tee &nbsp;for almost everything. Fortunately I was working at home and didn't have to go out a lot! I bought one interim shirt and one interim jeans midway through my loss, and otherwise wore said yoga pants and/ or one of two or three elastic waisted jersey items in my closet!&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136024 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 13:40:35 +0000 Liz 1136024@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just a little commiseration. When I lost weight, I was really surprised to find I was now dealing negative body-image issues.<br />Nobody had ever&nbsp;mentioned such a thing could happen!&nbsp;I loved being at my lower weight but didn't like the new proportions. I felt little, and not in a good way.&nbsp;&nbsp;And I had the sinking feeling of "this is as good as this body will ever get" (flat chest but legs and hips still quite large). I had to work through and come to acceptance about some body stuff that hadn't been an issue at all when I was overweight.<br />So I just want to affirm what you're experiencing, and that you'll come out the other side.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136023 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 13:40:05 +0000 viva 1136023@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it must be difficult to start with some curves you love and lose them in order to address other weight issues. I don't ever have much of a chest -- 34A at my heaviest weight, and it's just downhill from there. So I am very used to looking boyish. I think E is right that there are materials and looks that are particularly flattering for small chests that are more difficult for large-breasted women to wear, so perhaps as you address your other weight issues you can have fun playing with new materials on your upper half. Look at images of Cameron Diaz or Kate Hudson for inspiration or ideas of tops that can be flattering and sexy even with minimal or no cleavage; they are both very, very small chested.<br />PS You are so beautiful -- I hope this feeling will pass. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1136022 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 13:38:57 +0000 Jewell 1136022@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*HUGS*</p> <p>I can relate both to the feelings of inadequacy over a small bust and the frustration over fit when gaining or losing weight. It would be great if we had the option to choose where on our bodies we gained or lost weight. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way and often times we are surprised by the silhouette that emerges as a result of weight loss or gain. So, find a body part you love as is and dress to flatter that part, find a few outfits or clothing items that make you feel great during this transition, celebrate the healthier you, and praise your body for all the wonderful things it can do/has done (like bearing children). I have plenty of curvy friends who can't have children and would gladly trade their cup size to experience that joy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1135989 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 10:43:01 +0000 Ornella 1135989@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fruitful, I once read something that really made me retihink how I look at things:</p> <p>“Comparison is the thief of joy.”</p> <p>You have so many reasons to feel happy about your progress, success&nbsp;and new-found energy. And there will always be someone out there who, simply by their own being, will seemingly point to what's not as perfect&nbsp;about you.&nbsp;</p> <p>It sounds to me like your voluptuous friend simply&nbsp;knows how to dress her curves and enjoys dressing... V-neck, pin,&nbsp;vintage vibe. I bet she would look totally different in a bulky&nbsp;crew neck and&nbsp;nonPPL pair of flared jeans, but she knows what suits her. As simple as that. You did not describe her as trendy, but pretty. To me that's timeless.&nbsp;Because, she knows what to do with what she's been given.</p> <p>Do your own thing. Enjoy in your own successes. And your healthy body. And in the fact it changes the way you want to change it now. The dress you wore&nbsp;may be a sign of a) bad fit or b) good eating habits you're adopting. It's how you look at things that matters.&nbsp;You have one body which is as it is - it&nbsp;will never be as someone else's. Learn to&nbsp;love it and how to dress it so you express what you love about it - and yourself. The rest will come.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1135984 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 10:18:29 +0000 Fruitful 1135984@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great suggestion regarding the bodycon, E. I think I've absorbed so many messages about modesty and looser fits here that I'd forgotten that probably suits me best.</p> <p>Listening to all the other messages you've all posted too </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/getting-depressed-about-weight-loss#post-1135981 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 09:52:49 +0000 E 1135981@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*hugs*</p> <p>I spent years stressed out over my small bust (there isn't a push up bra on earth that can give me 'real' cleavage): my mother and her mother and sisters are all that 50s hourglass shape,&nbsp;so I suppose I expected when I hit puberty to become like them. But I didn't! And it made me feel like I was still prepubescent or a boy. :/&nbsp;So then I tried to gain weight so that I would be "buxom and curvy," as you put it, but that didn't work either. So finally I just began looking for small busted role models (the ballet is fabulous for this: those women have strong thighs too!), and I realised that a lot of my favourite clothing styles work more easily&nbsp;with a smaller bust anyway.&nbsp;And somewhere along the way, I not only made peace with my shape, I began to actively enjoy it. I actually prefer how I look braless now, even though wearing a t-shirt bra (not padded but molded cup)&nbsp;defines my bustline and makes it look a bit larger; I only wear a bra under knits because society would frown on me otherwise. ;)</p> <p>I still admire buxom women and find those curves beautiful: if I gained 20 or 40 pounds and found myself in their company I wouldn't complain (although I'd have to rethink all of my style preferences!).&nbsp;But I also find beauty in my own version of curves; I think of my bustline as delicate rather than flat, which somehow makes a difference.</p> <p>Anyway, figuring out how different clothes played differently with my bust made a huge impact on my self esteem: now if I try on a top or dress that gapes in the chest, I know it was just cut for a different body type, and not that I'm somehow inadequate or too small. And I almost never even try those types of clothes on anymore, because I can see on the hanger whether they'll work! But you said you already know that's the solution. :)</p> <p>So I'll just commiserate with you: it does suck when bodies change and our brain hasn't adjusted and our clothes suddenly make us feel not-pretty.</p> <p>For me, what makes me look my absolute curviest, is a fitted long sleeve crewneck tee shirt or thin sweater. Not vacuum sealed but definitely a body con fit. Shows off my waist and fairly flat stomach too. You could always try that, although it's probably too warm for an Aussie summer. </p>