https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 22 May 2026 13:52:07 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-767406 Tue, 06 Nov 2012 21:28:08 +0000 Gaylene 767406@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As another older woman (60+), I totally understand your frustration at trying to find something that looks elegant and age appropriate for a gala function. While I've gone a similar LBD route in the past, and it is definitely a fall-back option, I wouldn't be too ready to throw in the towel on finding something that makes you feel fabulous.</p> <p>Here are a couple of my thoughts, for what they are worth. Youth has an advantage in that a young woman in a simple dress can often look stunning while an older woman in a simple dress with sensible heels can look like she has given up. If you have them, significant jewelry (the real thing) can make the outfit work, but piling on the costume jewelry doesn't have the same effect. Personally, I think we older women need to step up our game to show the younger crowd that we can look just as fabulous when we get dressed up for a gala event.</p> <p>Since I can't wear stilettos anymore, I have to start with comfortable shoes that have a reasonable heel. That means that long, flowy pants and skirts work better for gala dressing than do short skirts. I also like to keep the interest up near my face. I think you were on the right track with that jacket and your decision to alter the dress into a top that you can wear underneath it. You've got the top and and the shoes sorted, so that's left is to find an inexpensive pair of evening pants or long skirt to finish off your outfit.</p> <p>If you can wear it, a long narrow skirt like this one can work (although I'd spend a bit of time with a needle to make sure the slit wasn't too low): <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/alex-evenings-side-slit-velvet-skirt/3363566?origin=keywordsearch&#038;contextualcategoryid=0&#038;fashionColor=&#038;resultback=1068" rel="nofollow">http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/al.....tback=1068</a> IMO, the elastic waist is a bonus.</p> <p>My evening skirt is a bit fuller, so the effect is more like this dress: <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/js-collections-ruffle-jersey-satin-gown/3264905?origin=keywordsearch&#038;contextualcategoryid=0&#038;fashionColor=&#038;resultback=1288" rel="nofollow">http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/js.....tback=1288</a> I'm actually considering this dress, however, because of the price point and the 3/4 sleeves which are so rare these days.</p> <p>I guess my point is that I think we older women need to quit settling for just OK; we've lived long enough to deserve better.</p> <p>ETA: A couple more links:</p> <p><a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/michael-michael-kors-sequin-maxi-skirt/3358942?origin=related-3358942-0-0-1-1&#038;recommendationAttribute=Rich%20Relevence" rel="nofollow">http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/mi.....0Relevence</a></p> <p><a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/lida-baday-matte-jersey-maxi-skirt/3329351?origin=keywordsearch&#038;contextualcategoryid=0&#038;fashionColor=&#038;resultback=2100" rel="nofollow">http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/li.....tback=2100</a></p> <p>And a final thought--I think that Carolina Herrera has nailed the look for utterly fabulous gala dressing for the 50+ set. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-767385 Tue, 06 Nov 2012 20:19:43 +0000 unfrumped 767385@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Here is a clutch, inexpensive, but is a kind of sparkle faux-suede--feels suede-y and not satiny. Reads off-black and with some shine, but not like sequins, so does contrast with flat black. Have seen some interesting similar higher-end in crackle black leather and black mesh and similar. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-766935 Tue, 06 Nov 2012 05:54:51 +0000 Jenava 766935@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wear the shoes. Chunky heels are in, and patent makes them dressy.</p> <p>PILE on the jewelry! With such a simple frock, you need the "umph" from some sparkle. Of course, we would all LOVE to have the kind of real jewelry that would be a statement! But, the impact is more important here than the authenticity. Costume jewerly is perfectly acceptable as long as it's tasteful but bold.</p> <p>clutch - easy enough to snag one of these for a steal! Go bananas and find something that works perfectly...Love the idea of sheer textured hose...maybe a diamond pattern?</p> <p>Could you wear the jacket over the dress? Maybe it would ruin the neckline? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-766930 Tue, 06 Nov 2012 05:42:37 +0000 Gaylene 766930@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My solution for the "gala" part of my wardrobe was to invest in a pair of silky, wide-legged pants and a long taffeta skirt. The pants are black, but the skirt is a deep, dark blue which is actually the bottom of a thrifted ball gown which had a truly ugly top that I lopped off. Depending on the top and accessories, these two pieces have taken me to events ranging from black tie to that dreaded "festive casual". </p> <p>It sounds like you have a good start with that jacket. Maybe just try to find something dark and dressy for the bottom part of the outfit? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-766889 Tue, 06 Nov 2012 04:50:39 +0000 Anonymous 766889@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I feel your frustration. I went through it searching for a Mother of the Groom dress and searched for over a year! Length was a huge problem. Even for a 5'3"er, most were horribly short.<br /> Your CK dress and the heels you own sound great for this event. You can focus on stockings, jewelry and a clutch. I'd go with sheer soft black stocklings rather than jet black or something like a black lace design if you have great legs. Your off black snake sounds good too, as does your costume jewelry.<br /> You sound like you have wonderful instincts. People are going to notice your confidence and smile more than exactly what you are wearing. I'm sure many women will envy you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-766827 Tue, 06 Nov 2012 03:25:28 +0000 unfrumped 766827@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Glory I hope it will work. A good fit, but a bit safe.<br /> Caro, you are right. At heart I wish I had that wow dress that is occasion- perfect.<br /> Shiny, you are a great enabler! I have been looking at a few bags and having again that experience of, what I need isn't what I thought it might be. Colored satin or sequins &amp; stuff just isn't right. I don't like the hard little box- purses, though- don't tuck under arm right. I like the foldover black snake. I found a faux off-black snake that might work if time is too short. Sort of like Angie's not all black- black. Burgundy or claret shiny snake would be fun. </p> <p>Shiny, dare I try microfish? If not then I guess sheer jet black? For day or regular dressy I would do sheer very nude, but black makes it look more formal. I hope sheer is not " out"-- I read here and there, "wear opaque hose". But to me the "black tights" look looks more casual. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-766634 Tue, 06 Nov 2012 00:52:12 +0000 shiny 766634@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am personally fixated on BCBG clutches right now... which to choose? </p> <p><a href="http://www.shopstyle.com/browse/clutches/BCBG-MAX-AZRIA" rel="nofollow">http://www.shopstyle.com/brows.....-MAX-AZRIA</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-766625 Tue, 06 Nov 2012 00:40:15 +0000 shiny 766625@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>1) I'm all about comfortable heels, so wear the AK's and work with them. I routinely wear suede black boots (with comfortable 2 inch heel) to formal events here in the winter -- rather than bare my toes in the cold. I put thick wool socks over my hose and my feet are nice and toasty. </p> <p>2) Add interest with your hose. Pattern? Microfishnet? </p> <p>3) I'd wear costume jewelry and not bat an eye. Heck, I might even/have been known to pile it on. </p> <p>4) You have potential here with the clutch. I'd avoid anything that smacks of "Mother of the Bride" (satin, velvet) and go funky. Animal print? Snake skin? Something that is unusual, and adds a statement. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-766529 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 22:51:35 +0000 Caro in Oz 766529@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I know what you mean. I think in the short term it is important to find those cross over pieces that work up or down a level but I think it is important to have something fabulous that you couldn't possibly wear everyday. These pieces can be found on sale but it does take work, there is a lot of unsuitable stuff out there to sort through. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-766367 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 20:04:22 +0000 unfrumped 766367@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you, suz! For me, the super dressy "capsule" is hard to guard. Not as much selection; easy to veer into sequins &amp; denim capsule; easy to buy stuff in a frenzy that isn't as good quality as I'd like; and "classic" items, if beautiful and expensive, may not hold up for as many seasons and CPU as I would like. That's why I may just have to fall back on the idea that the events I attend are not truly "formal" though you could do so, and so getting the best overlap with just regular dressy --wedding, business cocktail--is more practical and less stressful.</p> <p>This is also where the "would you pay full price" question comes into play--no, I would not pay full price for a $500 dress that can only be worn to a gala-type event. Yes, I would probably pay $100-150 discounted for same dress, if really looks good, and be willing to keep it on hand for several years.</p> <p>Here also is why I've tended to like dressy "separates" in hopes I could integrate pieces into dressy-casual or smart casual capsules. For example, would I hmm, buy a bronze skirt to wear with black or cream top to a dressy event, and then turn around and wear it with a soft mohair sweater as dressy casual? And of course there's the velvet jacket + jeans outfit that is pretty do-able. My problem is that some of these mixed-media or high/low outfits look great on young women but maybe not as easy for me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-766352 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 19:57:51 +0000 Glory 766352@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Suz on the LBD. If you have one and it sounds like you have a beauty - it can be the best choice and you can add the shoes and accessories. Is there a chance you could put up some photos? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-766204 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 17:40:56 +0000 Suz 766204@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very interesting musings, Unfrumped. It sounds as if you have been doing some important learning and thinking -- and shopping! </p> <p>Black is far from being my best colour. But I tell you, events like the one you describe really are the reason why most of us need a LBD! It is a great fall back if nothing else seems to work, and will get you through a whole lot. </p> <p>I like the sounds of your new jacket. Do you have a picture of it? </p> <p>Would love to see some visuals of the whole works! We might be able to offer some suggestions that way, too, about the clutch and jewellery! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/gala-outfit-angst-queries-musings-and-theres-no-place-like-home#post-766165 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 17:07:41 +0000 unfrumped 766165@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>For my upcoming gala/not (meaning, some variations in dress code are well-tolerated), I have had some fashion philosophic musings on the nature of dressiness and elegance, and whether it's what you think it will be, or whether you can get there from an unexpected angle. I thank those of you who commented on my palazzo pants post, because that was quite helpful!</p> <p>I have had the following experiences:</p> <p>Went shopping in our metropolis where brick and mortar is pretty limited--Dillard's is our big dept store ! Some chains like WHBM, some boutiques. Despite my ongoing chanting of the WNTW mantra, "it's not your body, it's the clothes" I was pretty discouraged. Not much of what I think is the elegant, restrained party look for 50+ crowd. Also spent way too much time on-line and again, anything that remotely looked wearable was not in my size,but I can see that if I cruised the offerings more regularly, something would turn up because there are some brands that offer silk, velvet and other lovely fabrics, and possibly good fits, but not for this week. (Oooh, though--Kate Spade bronze pleated silk skirt at Nordie--but if I loved it, should I spend $300+ for a special-event skirt-still need top or jacket).</p> <p>I did buy something that I considered wearing to the event--a dress and jacket ensemble in which the material is a sort of irridescent taupe and the jacket has ruffled, funnel-or standup V collar that is flattering, though not "sexy". I sort of latched onto this one because the jacket fits well and isn't one of those too-rustle-y taffeta jacket-blouses that look like they are wearing me and has too-open a neckline. I can't wear the slip dress that comes with it! But I think that can be cut down into matching tank. I haven't found a single dressy skirt right now that works--fitted are too, er, fitted and others are all are too short--except I have $20 TJMaxx crystal pleated black poly skirt that gives a good, flippy look with the jacket--just wish I could find the same thing in a more luxury fabrication.</p> <p>However, when I put it on, I think a) it would be acceptable because hey, it's just a party and b) it's a bit sedate and wedding-event like, or maybe just not as sophisticated as I would wish for this evening event. So definitely gonna keep it as it can be worn with the skirt I have, or dressy pants, or the skirt I may find one day, and being long-sleeved, is a major hole-filler, for winter wedding or party event.</p> <p>But here's where Dorothy's ruby slippers come in. In my closet, as yet unworn, I have a simple "Calvin Klein" sheath dress, black, 3/4 sleeves, semi-boat neck ( I say " " because it's one of the CK dresses you find at Ross and TJ all the time). But for me, it was a huge find because I can almost never wear sheath-looking dresses, but this one has a side ruche or pleat that works and who can ever find 3/4 sleeves?</p> <p>I didn't focus on it before because I was trying to wear a dressier fabrication. This dress is a poly-rayon blend. However, it's finely woven, matte black and so perhaps is mercurial--you can't really "see" it! You might think it was ponte, or wool, or who knows. And the fit and style are definitely grown-up lady LBD, for me. Also, was actually looking for not-black, But, the wide neckline is what made me buy it in the first place, since it opens it up to be less black by the face. </p> <p>So, now, honestly, I think the dress I already have would be the most appropriate!</p> <p>Here are queries:</p> <p>--Shoes!<br /> Again, I expect some compromise may be in order and Dorothy here may already have the best option. I have AK black patent pumps with 2 3/4 " heel but the catch is, the heels are chunky--1 1/4 " wide column of a heel. So here's the pro and con--con is, they're not delicate, "evening" pumps. But, I nabbed them in the first place just a few months ago because these are the highest heels I've ever had and ever likely to be able to walk in--it showed me the value of heel height in a dressy look because they really do give that "high heel" leg line. Plus, I can walk and stand perfectly, confidently in them for hours. If I try to get a more delicate heel, my experience has been dismal--I can barely walk in kitten heels-- and lower heels in my size 8.5-9 feet may not look as classy, and so it ends up frumpy or awkward after all. </p> <p>Jewelry!<br /> Do you believe that "costume jewelry is best avoided" for dressy events--wear the real thing or nothing? That seems harsh. I have a strand of small pearls from my mother but they're just not right--too small and sedate. I have some costume jewelry that I think is restrained and just the right fit for the dress, with elements of restrained tiny sparkle and black and pewter, but no one will think it's "real". Is that a faux (!) pas? Do I care?</p> <p>Clutch!<br /> Okay, this is for real! I don't have one I would like for this outfit, so I can buy one! Silvery or black/silver would work, but I have sparkle at ears and neck--don't want to be too gaudy. So if I could find the right fabrication again, I might like something with a bit of burgundy or a toned-down fuschia or something, maybe combined with black, to add a bit of color. But, it's easy for colored fabric or "satin" type clutches to look too cheap or trendy.<br /> I may be able to find something on-line and do fast delivery.</p> <p> I think it's one of those things--can I trust my own "eyes" as to the whole package--and I consider my eyes not fully trustworthy, but much more educated over the past year. That you could say, wear this and this and this--but it still all depends so much on the actual iterations and interpretations of the dress, the shoe, the jewelry. </p> <p>And part of my experience is, where are the elegant clothes? There's a lot of date-night sequin and sparkle, but not what I'm looking for. "Cocktail" length dresses are 4" above the knee! Skirts are too short--I could hem one up but can't lengthen what's out there! I do fear they are available at high price points!</p> <p> Any input is welcome. Anyone having the same experience? Have I just simply re-discovered why a LBD is what it is--when I thought I needed a "dressier" LBD. </p> <p>Thanks just for reading! </p>