https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 25 Apr 2026 11:17:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-480795 Sun, 04 Dec 2011 18:40:33 +0000 Kyle 480795@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One small suggestion. Go back through your photos and look for the common threads in the outfits you love most. Simplicity? Color? Texture? Mod? Retro? Classic? Once you identify them, consider whether you want to stick with them moving forward. If you do, and you always keep these core themes in mind, you may find it easier to hone in on what you love most, and pass on things that don't fit.</p> <p>Good luck. I totally get how frustrating it is, as I go through this myself from time to time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-480760 Sun, 04 Dec 2011 17:50:58 +0000 Angie 480760@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love everyone's introspective thoughts here. Thanks for sharing them, ladies. Shannon has lots of great leads, insights and feel good vibes which I am sure will help her come up with an effective game plan. </p> <p>I have one last thing to add: please don't think about all of this *too* much. To come up with a strategy is one thing, but over analysis can be counter productive. It's takes the fun out of a process that should bring you joy, and not stress. I see this happen with my clients from time to time and it's not a win-win situation. I do not mean to sound preachy, but do feel the need to share my experience. </p> <p>We are here if you need us and I look forward to sharing the next leg of your style journey with you. </p> <p>Again, I would like to reassure you that you currently have GREAT STYLE!! I love bj111's comment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-480747 Sun, 04 Dec 2011 17:26:48 +0000 catgirl 480747@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Totally agree about cost and fabness not always correlating! I recently found colored skinnies at Forever 21 that fit me better than the expensive premium brands and have held up well so far, for 1/15 of the price.</p> <p>At one point, Sona suggested finding our body twins here - I thought that was a great idea. I get so much inspiration from everyone, but I tend to look to fellow ITs when it comes to seeing what will work for me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-480648 Sun, 04 Dec 2011 13:57:38 +0000 Suz 480648@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I was nodding away to myself as I read your response. So much of what you say resonated with me. The budget concerns, and the accompanying fact that so many of my clothes were "okay" because I was always just trying to do the best I could do and never imagined I could actually find FAB at that price point. The discomfort with change. The awe and slight intimidation I feel looking at the amazing women on this board who come up with such great looks that I would LOVE to copy —yet I know they wouldn't work on my body type (or with the way I actually live). The confusion about how to inject elements of that style into a look that might actually work for me personally. </p> <p>I really loved Una's and Mo's and Claire's comments about the process, and have been trying to let them sink in. Like Mo and Claire, I used to think that an item had to be expensive to be "great" — but it doesn't. It just has to be great. And it does take some trial and error to figure out what will be great when you have a new body shape (whichever direction your body has taken). What worked before might not work now, but that's okay...once you figure out the proportions that do work. </p> <p>It might be worth scheduling a shopping trip to a nicer end store; one you probably wouldn't be able to afford, just to try a few things on and look at quality workmanship. Then, when you head out to your regular haunts or to the consignment or thrift or vintage store, you'll know what you are looking for. You don't have to buy anything on this outing. Or maybe you WILL splurge a tiny bit on something special for yourself. But either way, you'll remind yourself of what you are aiming for. When I was a young woman I used to "shop" at Holts all the time. I almost never bought anything except maybe a lipstick that would have cost the same at any department store. But I learned what was current, I saw good workmanship (and shoddy, even at that price) and once in a very long while I found an item on sale that I bought. It's almost three decades since I've done that, and I need to do it again. </p> <p>But what Mo and Claire say is so right; the item might come from a less expensive store but it can still be fantastic for you. The mantra around here is leave no retail stone unturned, and it's a good one. My best bet right now is our local consignment store. I can't depend on finding anything at all when I walk in, but when I DO find something, it's a real winner, at a price I can afford. And donating some of my own unworn or non-fitting items has made it even more affordable. Sadly, I only found out about this place AFTER I'd already made a huge closet purge, but even so, I've managed to save myself money by taking things there. </p> <p>I really like Una's suggestion to try to wear everything in your closet and if it doesn't sing to you, get rid of it. Then you will be pared back to just those items that really do work for you, and you can build from there. And the idea of picking a formula that works and duplicating it is also great. This is essentially what Steph (mrs eccentric) suggests. She counsels picking just ONE outfit that makes you feel fab and trying to analyse the elements of that outfit that make it work for you. You could post pics of one you love (or have loved in the past - or maybe BOTH) and talk about them and we could all weigh in. </p> <p>In fact, given your current discomfort with your body, that might actually be hugely helpful, whether you do it on the forum or privately. Look at an old beloved outfit that you no longer can wear (or think you can't wear) and consider its elements. Is it TRUE that you can't wear it (if it were in your size)? Meanwhile, what might the advantages of being a slightly larger size be? Until I lost a lot of weight I never believed there COULD be any advantages, but I've actually encountered new and frustrating fit issues at my lower weight, too, so even though the grass always seems greener, there are advantages to EVERY body size and shape when it comes to fashion. Maybe at your current weight you can wear some looks you could not successfully wear before.</p> <p>You are already looking very stylish and fab, and with your looks evolving, you are only going to look better and better all the time! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-480569 Sun, 04 Dec 2011 06:04:10 +0000 Anonymous 480569@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry I'm late to this party Shannon but we are in the same boat, so I had to add my two cents. Like, Mo and others, budget is a big issue for me and I thought I would have to bite the bullet and spring for $200 jeans and $200 shoes because that was the only way to get quality. But I had the same epiphany Mo had. You know how the saying goes, "It's better to have one great Item thant 10 ok ones"? I thought that meant one "expensive" item, but now I don't think it does. I think it means a great item that looks awesome on you that you love. I have one great corduroy blazer that I am wearing a lot and it cost me a dollar. I have had lots of cheap/thrifted jackets that have been purged because they were never terrific, but this one I kept because it fits like a dream, I can layer under and over and it has stretch so it's super comfy. I'm better off just having the one because the other ones just confused my closet!</p> <p>I also echo the sentiment by Una (I think) who said to get one formula that you feel good in and then just duplicate it. I'm all over that one. First of all, I can't afford to have a million different silhouettes and pants lengths with different heel heights. Second, why re-invent the wheel? I'll keep my colors all in one pallette and make sure as many items as possible can be mixed and matched. If dresses are loving you right now, then pick a hemlength that's flattering and figure out what cut of blazer works best on top. Once you figure out the proportions of these you can recreate the look easily.</p> <p>I'm so sorry the transition is hard, and I feel your pain. Hang in there, because you have great style! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-480257 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 19:24:36 +0000 Mo 480257@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>ah, we posted at the same time! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-480256 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 19:23:45 +0000 Mo 480256@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>To touch on Refugees point of quality and your question to me about ditching the 'cheap' clothes - in a word yes! Now, cheap and inexpensive are not the same. I will freely admit (and I was thinking this actually last night as I was folding laundry) that 2 of my Walmart items are of surprising quality and have held up great, wash after wash. So price alone does not equal quality. I have a Michael Kors knit top that faded, pilled, and the seams twisted terribly after one wash. I pull and fight to straighten it every wash now. My Walmart cord blazer, by contrast has great seaming, is durable to wash cycles, and has held it's shape and fabric looks as good as day 1.<br /> What I meant I guess with 'coming home' to a style with your new knowledge is that both fine tuning the fit and the quality/construction of the items make the difference. Also, I learned more about proportions and so now, for my jacket/jeans combo, I often wear a longer shirt out below the cropped jacket. Before, that thought wouldn't have occured to me. I also have a lot less 'almosts' and 'make-dos' in my closet. I find the purging of these the hardest, but yielding the best results.<br /> And do be patient with yourself. I know my budget was the biggest hurdle in revamping. So it's been a long, slow and steady process, which may be best in the long run, as you have time to reflect on what you got, if you actually wore it as you thought you would, etc.<br /> You are doing fine - it's just a journey for us all in the end, not a destination! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-480251 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 19:16:09 +0000 Transcona Shannon 480251@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow...so much wonderful support, information and suggestions...many things I never even thought of. This is why YLF is unlike any other group I've belonged to - and Angie, you are the PRIMARY reason for this!</p> <p>I'm not able to respond to each and every comment you've provided, but I thank you all. Here are some thoughts on what you've expressed:</p> <p>- I'm struggling to love my body these days. I lost 75 pounds about 8 years ago and never thought I'd be in the position of being heavier than I wanted to be again. I need to get over this. Fashion and style isn't relegated to particular sizes.<br /> - I have an extremely limited budget for clothing and I think that's why I've often chosen items that were not the best quality and fit, but were affordable. I'm coming to realization that it's better to have one really good piece that makes me feel fabulous and wear it to death rather than more pieces that I feel so-so in.<br /> - I've been afraid to spend any decent amount of money on clothing because I know my body has changed a lot and don't want to invest in something that 3 months down the road no longer fits.<br /> - Change doesn't come naturally to me so it makes me uncomfortable, even when I know it's necessary...velvetychocolate hit the nail on the head with this observation.<br /> - It sounds from your comments like experimentation is the key to figuring it all out.<br /> - I need to stop looking at others' WIW posts as something I should be copying because I love the look of the outfit. I see so many beautiful women with kick-a** style here that I want to emulate those looks, but these are often tall, slim women with a body type completely different from mine. I need to figure out what works for ME.</p> <p>Thank you everyone again. It means a great deal to me to get this type of support and advice. With that, I hope to get to where I'm going! (I actually shed a few tears reading some of these replies - you're a wonderful bunch!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-480250 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 19:16:09 +0000 bj1111 480250@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>honey...sometimes it takes time for our insides to catch up with our outsides...your outside is clearly fabulous. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-480247 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 19:10:49 +0000 Refugee 480247@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just another 40 something still very much on her style journey chiming in. A couple of things that have helped me. First on the creativity front. When I see a WIW that I think is very creative, I look to see if I have similar items in my wardrobe and try them out. This has helped me learn to 'see' new combinations in my closet. The second thing is I am a blazer girl through and through too. And this is an area of my wardrobe where stepping up the quality of the items I purchase has really helped. I have found that cheap (as opposed to inexpensive) clothes make me want to change my name to SpongeMom SquarePants. They just kind of hang on me and have no shape. Upping the quality of the garments I purchase has really helped me feel much more fab because the fit is better. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-480237 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 18:30:57 +0000 catgirl 480237@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I hear you! I love your WIWs, but I understand your feeling of being lost even if you're able to put together an objectively fab outfit. I was going through this myself about 6 months ago, and then something in my head clicked recently. I realized that:</p> <p>1. I have my own style, for better or worse, that does not have to be like anyone else. I started out by copying others, almost to the point where it overwhelmed me - I love so many disparate styles here on YLF! Still, it was part of the learning curve, and then suddenly one day I felt confident enough to fledge and go my own way a little more. I even had to make up my own style (the Urban Warrior Princess - at 45, no less!)...</p> <p>2. It is okay to struggle and be frustrated sometimes. That's the only way to make progress and YLF is a huge support through that part of it. I'm the kind of person for whom nothing comes easy - I have to thrash and flail my way through. And that too is part of individual style.</p> <p>3. If you find a formula you love, find some variations of it, but don't be afraid to stick with the general formula. I've worn skinnies and boots every day this week, but I've finally learned how to vary enough elements to not feel like I'm wearing a uniform.</p> <p>4. I started trying to wear everything in my closet, and if something was too difficult to style or just didn't make me feel fantastic, I got rid of it. I still have tons of things that need to be tried this way, but it helps to feel you are shedding an old fashion persona that weighs you down mentally.</p> <p>I am still a novice and have a long way to go, but I hope this helps you realize you're not alone and that progress lies ahead! Hugs! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-480218 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 17:41:10 +0000 Angie 480218@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If you can keep these feelings *positive* Shannon, they are good feelings to have! You are being nudged into a new style direction naturally. This is part of what makes fashion and style fun! It's never static, and each leg of your style journey should be an informative process of self-expression, renewal, introspection and laughter. Frustrations are inevitable too, but view them as good things. After all, it's energy that can be directed towards a successful journey.</p> <p>Soooooooooo, I echo what the others have said. You have GREAT style. But it's you who has to *feel* it, not us. </p> <p>FWIW: I see you going into a bit of a retro and vintage direction. I like that juxtaposition with your super modern hair and specs. You were already heading that way with the new party dress :)</p> <p>Above, all enjoy this process. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479991 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 04:32:47 +0000 velvetychocolate 479991@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon - just out of curiosity I went looking for posts where you might have shared some of your outfits, and...I almost feel a bit dumb for my earlier post about the so-called "in between" phase of finding one's style. </p> <p>Came across "Boucle, Hot Pink and Leather" - geeze! What a fabulous, fabulous outfit on you. </p> <p>This is what I mean:</p> <p><a href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-boucle-hot-pink-and-gothic-leather" rel="nofollow">http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ic-leather</a></p> <p>Keep being in love with dresses, and your style is plenty modern (not to mention gorgeous) as far as I'm concerned. You look great! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479983 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 04:17:14 +0000 Adrienne 479983@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So much support has been voiced here it is wonderful. Seems the concensus is that you do have 'style' and others can see it and like your taste. Maybe the over thinking our outfits is the key. I too have felt that slump when it comes to my style. As women we are so sensitive to weight gain. I have always had weight issues and they do affect the fit of my clothes. I so envy the gals that stay the same size year after year. It makes building a wardrobe so much easier when its all the same size. When I get in a slump I just play with color combinations and try new combos by shopping in my wardrobe. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479973 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 03:56:27 +0000 Sveta 479973@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I honestly think that your WIW look funky and interesting,Shannon. However I know what you mean: I often feel that too. I think it means that your style is evolving and you are not content with just looking good - you need to feel that. I think this is a good thing! Style is not a destination, it is a journey which is the most fun.<br /> What helps me is to step out of my comfort zone from time to time and try something new, something I have never considered wearing before. I think this is how I leaped into YLF trying skinnies, waist surrendering, shorter hemlines, flat oxfords...something I would never even thought of wearing before. As for making combinations - it all comes with practice I think. The more you experiment the better you become on finding more interesting ways of wearing the same clothing. And remember: we are here if you need help. This forum is great for that!.When I have my doubts I post pictures and as a rule somebody will identify the heart of the problem I could not even articulate! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479964 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 03:43:10 +0000 velvetychocolate 479964@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>While I haven't yet read all the replies to this post, I just wanted to say that I can relate to what you're saying Shannon. I'm still fiddling and fumbling my way through here too. </p> <p>Thing is? Wanted to suggest that when you take a giant leap of faith, and you leap from point A to ....who knows where - there's going to be a period where you just aren't sure, and you just don't know yet. That 'in between' phase. In the meantime, that 'in between' phase is critical - it's where you try and try again, and are willing to 'fail' so to speak. Willing to be the kid with the training wheels, willing to be akward as part of the whole process. </p> <p>This might be way, way off topic, but one of the best things I read about learning something new was Martha Beck's article "Willing to Fail" in an Oprah magazine. While I know this is a bit of a stretch for this particular forum, I think it's appropriate here - as it illustrates how we all go through that newbie-ish, ugly-duckling-ish, not-quite-right-feeling when learning and trying something new. Here's a link to the article that made me feel "ok" about failing at whatever new thing I was trying out:</p> <p><a href="http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Turn-a-Failure-Into-Success/1" rel="nofollow">http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Ho.....-Success/1</a></p> <p>In the meantime - I think it's perfectly normal to feel weird about letting something go while not knowing exactly what to do next. I guess I just wanted to say that the 'in between' phase is a perfectly ok place to be. You don't have to decide right now what your new style is going to be. It's ok to let go of some things without knowing what's next. Scary? Yes, definitely. But this is an ok place to be. </p> <p>In my experience, it's not like you just up and ditch an old way of life and latch onto an instantly new and better way of life all in one fell swoop. There is a period of "I just don't know" in there. This is a very exciting place to be, even though it's somewhat nerve-wracking. </p> <p>You're not doing anything wrong! You're in a really neat place right now as far as I'm concerned. There's no particular rush to replace the old with the new (despite how it feels) - it's ok to flounder a bit, and it's ok to try some new things and just see what you like. </p> <p>There's no need to box yourself into something new before you've even had a chance to see what it's like without the old box. </p> <p>Hope you can find a way to enjoy this latest "I just don't know" phase. There's a lot to look forward to, and there's no rush. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479940 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 03:05:31 +0000 Kristine 479940@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think your outfits look great, but I do know what you mean. You said some of your things bordered on cheap, so maybe that's a place to start. I'm the queen of deals but I'm trying to take a little time and invest in better items. It makes a difference because they hang better and I don't have to be self conscious about the quality. I had a lot of guilt about spending almost anything on clothes but I've slowly gotten over it. I've come to realize that image does matter! I think when you're 20 it's easier to get away with cheaper clothes, but when you're a little older better quality gives you more confidence.</p> <p>And I'm 40 and have no idea what I'm doing, so we're all in this together. I guess we'll just have to try to have fun with it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479939 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 03:04:50 +0000 Fruitful 479939@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, thanks for explaining your changing body affecting your feelings about your style.</p> <p>Everyone here has come at your question in a different yet relevant way. I particularly feel you've found your own solution when you say stick to the items/shapes you love, but step up fit and quality. </p> <p>I know you had trouble getting across your meaning in the term "modernize" - I'm guessing you want to feel fresh, current and grown up. The grown up part (not that you don't look it) would be rating yourself highly enough to wear that fit and quality you wouldn't have been able to do when you were younger.</p> <p>Before I read your latest post, I was going to say this:<br /> I wonder if spending time photographing, discussing, analysing and workshopping your looks has made you feel disconnected from them. I'm a bit of an overdoer when it comes to trying to edit things, whether an essay or my wardrobe. When I was studying, I would kill myself writing an A grade paper then lose all perspective over whether what I'd written made sense or meant anything at all. I'd lose all pleasure in what I'd done and have to get away from it completely. Same with cooking; if I cook a meal that requires a lot of effort, especially for others, by the time it's served I'm sick of smelling it, tasting it, looking at it. And when I recently workshopped an outfit to wear to a wedding, once I'd worn it I was convinced I was getting rid of it. I didn't yet and now I'm thinking it was just my OD phenomenon - scrutinising it, discussing it and wearing it at a high-performance occasion made me want to get the hell away from it.</p> <p>Sometimes I have to learn to stop trying to optimise everything. My pattern seems to be, focus, analyse, work on something until I'm sick of it. The cure is, step away, take the pressure off, just wear my clothes and enjoy them without discussing, photographing them or analysing them for a bit. It's then that I relearn it's fine to throw on a dress without wondering if it should have a contrasting belt. That I actually enjoy the dress for how free I feel in it for as much as how it looks.</p> <p>After coming back to myself, I can come back to the forum (or cooking, or writing, etc).</p> <p>I think I might keep that wedding skirt after all :)</p> <p>And remember, although we often talk in this forum as if we must optimise everything, the first rule of fashion is to have fun. Angie says so ^_^ </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479931 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 02:53:10 +0000 soobee 479931@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, so you know that you're not alone, I was so slender in my younger days, my nickname was "bones". I was the aerobics queen, super fit, very low body fat and then I developed an "age related" bone disease. Some days I find getting out of bed painful, those days are rare, but I let myself slide into a very frumpy, unhappy state. I've gained alot of weight, but I have now realised that I'm not going to let it stop me from enjoying the things I CAN do. I discovered alot of "big girl" fashion blogs, many way bigger than myself, and many years younger. Luckily I recently discovered YLF and lots of similarly aged ladies with similar lifestyles. After reading loads of archives here, I can see it has taken many ladies a long time to get to where they are, and alot of the fun is in the journey, not just the destination! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479927 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 02:48:24 +0000 Suz 479927@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I think you look AMAZING in your WIWs—fun, funky, individual, and often elegant, too. I love your hair; it's perfect for you. And your accessories make my heart sing, showing you have an excellent eye for detail. </p> <p>But I absolutely 100% understand your feelings. The two things that brought me here were a big weight change, along with the nagging sense that at over 50, I had never developed my personal style. I had no idea how to dress my new body (and still struggle...because it is hard to see it objectively, but the pictures do help). And I'd never had any fashion moxie. </p> <p>I, too, feel as if I have miles and miles to go before my style is at all defined. I see some outfits here (including some of yours) and just sort of gawp at their amazingness! But I figure, bit by bit, I'll be learning by osmosis, by trying things out, by taking pics. </p> <p>Amy may have been high on cold medication, but I think she gives excellent counsel. Hang in there, and what a pleasure to be on this journey alongside you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479924 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 02:46:35 +0000 Lantana 479924@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Amy has expressed my thoughts perfectly. I'll add this: you're 48, so? I am in the same boat at 62! Some days I feel as though I'll never crack the style code. Then I trawl this site, or another, and discover a whole new swathe of factors that I hadn't ever considered before. At the moment I'm into proportions. It's fascinating because that is something I have applied with confidence in designing my gardens, (home, I'm not a professional) and it's something I readily recognize in art. But I have never applied that "eye" to my own style. Forgive the ramble but your post really struck a chord with me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479915 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 02:37:50 +0000 elpgal 479915@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I liked what I saw in your WIWs. Your hair is edgy and fab and definitely working for you.</p> <p>This may sound corny but one trick I have picked up while making changes in other areas is that it helps to keep some of the parameters fixed while you tweak the others. So, instead of being under pressure to invent an entire new look and questioning your choices and style longings over every component, play with a restricted subset. Change up one aspect - look for a nice leather jacket or a luxurious scarf that feels like you or invest in a kickass piece of jewelry that makes your heart sing. Alternately, pick a fixed outfit configuration (say skinnies-tunic-boots or something from Angie's MOTG looks) and then set about acquiring individual components. Or, take an existing weekend look that you wearing with ease and pay attention to polishing up that look by paying attention to fit and detail. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479914 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 02:36:26 +0000 Transcona Shannon 479914@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks abi, soobee, kelly, amy, mo and isis for your very kind comments - I think a lot of my recent "unease" with my look has to do with gaining about 20 pounds in the last 8 months due to some health reasons beyond my control. I don't beat myself up about it - it is what it is. But I guess I'm not sure how to dress my body in the most flattering way. I have fallen in love with dresses lately and am happy with that and when I look back at pics, the outfit with dresses are my favourites. And I'm a sucker for a blazer and don't see that changing anytime soon. But I feel like my style hasn't modernized, for lack of a better term. And I'm still confused in many ways on how to put different combinations together - I look at some of the WIW posts and marvel at these wonderful and creative outfits - colours and patterns that I never would have thought of. I crave that creativity and the confidence to wear it. </p> <p>Mo - I find your comments about returning to the fall climate and thing you love particularly interesting. Do you think if I take the dresses and blazers I love but be more particular with fit, colour, details (etc.) it would take me to that level I'm looking for? I do freely (and somewhat embarrassingly) admit that many of my clothing items are not of good quality and border on "cheap". </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479906 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 02:13:02 +0000 Isis 479906@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What Kelly said: I have also loved your WIW's and love your existing style.....but maybe YOU are ready for a change? Where do you think you might be headed? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479902 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 02:06:30 +0000 Mo 479902@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do understand those feelings, and although I've pretty much always liked what I wore and put an effort towards it, I realized over this last year that 'something' wasn't quite right. Long story short, having turned 40 and being in a climate that is not my favorite had me sort of floating adrift. Oddly, now that it's fall again and I can go back to what I love - cropped jackets and pants with interesting shoes - I am getting rave reviews. I guess for me it was 'coming home' to my style in an upgraded way. I still feel summer baring fashions are a challenge but at least I know I have the cooler season dialed in Perhaps look to what you've always been drawn to with your new knowlegde and more critical eye and you'll strike gold? I think you look just great, by the way </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479893 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 01:55:49 +0000 Amy 479893@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, if YOU are saying this, then I feel better. It means I'm in good company.</p> <p>For what it's worth, every outfit I've seen you in has been really nice--and I'm not just saying that. I think you have something special going on.</p> <p>However, I don't want to ride roughshod over that feeling you have because I think it make be the sign of something important happening. As we grow older, learning things becomes harder. Unlike children, we're used to a certain level of competency. Children absorb new things so much more readily because they aren't hampered by a feeling of "I should already know that." When we learn new things, we feel vulnerable! That sense of not knowing what we're doing is unsettling.</p> <p> I have been feeling the same thing lately. I used to think I did all right dressing, but now I'm feeling more self-conscious about the little details that could make my outfits better. I bet that this nagging feeling is just part of the learning process. If you want to make changes, you need to be able to recognize when something isn't working. The next step must be learning to articulate what isn't working out. </p> <p>This soap box moment was brought to you by too much cold medicine. I hope it helps </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479891 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 01:54:35 +0000 kellygirl 479891@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If it's any consolation, I think you look amazing. I've seen your WIW's and would never guess that you are feeling lost. You seem to know what works for you. Maybe you are just hankering for a bit of a change. I am constantly inspired by Angie and the other forum members and it makes me want to "step it up" a bit--although I do have to keep in mind my very casual life style. Is there a style direction you are gravitating toward? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479886 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 01:45:23 +0000 soobee 479886@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As a newbie here, I can only say that I've really liked the pics I've seen. I'm sure that some of the other, more "expert" ladies will have some great advice for you in terms of your style direction. I'm 45 and am only starting out in this fun fashion adventure. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in being a (slightly) late bloomer! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479883 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 01:42:17 +0000 Abi 479883@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm gojng through something similar at the moment too, trying to evolve my style. The advice I was given is to go shopping and try on lots of stuff that isn't you and see what suits. It might surprise you...that's what I'm hoping for anyway! Though I would love to hear what others reccomend because this way is a bit hit and miss and could be frustrating and take ages! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/frustrated-with-my-style-or-lack-of-it#post-479871 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 01:11:45 +0000 Transcona Shannon 479871@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm feeling really lost these days in terms of my style. I didn't used to. I'm not sure why this is happening. Maybe I'm on the edge of some sort of style evolution so am ready to let go of what I used to do? I don't know. I just think that what I'm wearing isn't the most flattering for me and that it's just not working.</p> <p>You've seen the few WIW pics I've posted - be honest - what works, what doesn't, I'm 48 - you'd think I'd have this figured out by now!!! </p>