https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 06 May 2026 01:04:45 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question/page/2#post-181088 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 19:03:43 +0000 taylor 181088@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tarzy,<br /> One of the beautiful things age brings women .... most do embrace.... we seem to feel more "comfortable"in our own skin...we like who we are on the inside, even though the outside is changing.:)</p> <p>You are fabulous looking at 53, and clearly comfortable with who you are, hair is only an accessory, it sounds like you are ready for a change in that accessory dept...GO FOR IT!!! You can always color again if you wish. It is only hair and hair is subject to change!! You will never know until you give it a try:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question/page/2#post-181052 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 17:57:55 +0000 merry77 181052@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tarzy said:<br /> "Also - and to be completely honest here - part of the reason I'd like to have a head of silver hair is I think it would make me stand out. I don't feel very "special" these days, and there's something about silver hair that's so different and unique. Maybe it's actually vanity that's driving me toward having silver hair? Of course, this will only work if I end up with glorious silver, and not dingy yellowy gray."</p> <p>I understand wanting to stand out. I would venture to say that some interviewers would like the fact that you're willing to differentiate yourself from the crowd, but of course, there's no way to know which kind you'll have until you get there and going gray is not a spur of the moment decision.</p> <p>Standing out is one of the reasons I want to go gray young. And rebellion from others' expectations is another! </p> <p>I am in agreement that 33 is young. I used to say I was going to color my prematurely gray hair until 30, and then I got to 30 and I said, "no way!" But if I struggle with the maintenance at 33, how am I going to make it another 20 or 30 years before people starting telling me it's ok to go gray? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question/page/2#post-181039 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 17:20:59 +0000 tarzy 181039@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Merry - thanks for posting! I think you look fantastic. What a cute haircut. You have a beautiful young face, and you look very vibrant.</p> <p>I'm almost 53, and believe me - 33 is young! </p> <p>I'm very torn right now, because I've been unemployed for two years, and I am certain that I've been passed over for certain jobs because of my age. I don't "look" old, but my resume has 20 years of experience on it, so people can do the math. Yes, it's illegal. Yes, it happens. But despite that, I keep having this feeling that I still need to be my "authentic self," as corny as that sounds.</p> <p>Also - and to be completely honest here - part of the reason I'd like to have a head of silver hair is I think it would make me stand out. I don't feel very "special" these days, and there's something about silver hair that's so different and unique. Maybe it's actually vanity that's driving me toward having silver hair? Of course, this will only work if I end up with glorious silver, and not dingy yellowy gray.</p> <p>It's either do something with my hair or get a nose ring, and my husband isn't too keen on piercings. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question/page/2#post-181033 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 17:06:42 +0000 Claudia 181033@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>merry77: a fantastic short haircut for your lovely face. </p> <p>I agree with your last sentiment, and I currently have hardly any grays. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question/page/2#post-181012 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 16:26:08 +0000 merry77 181012@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi all - </p> <p>I joined YLF over a year ago and started thread about going grey last summer probably. I've mostly been a lurker, and I've never posted a pic of me before this one.</p> <p>So here is a recent pic of me, taken on Monday of my new short cut:</p> <p><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/L_OrCS9qy2JEuihYEisQR5N15Xmk0E-QgCj8-3nmf1M?feat=directlink" rel="nofollow">http://picasaweb.google.com/lh.....directlink</a></p> <p>Here's my opinion on the matter. I will be 33 next month. I am 60-70% grey. It is a lot of work to keep my hair dark because it grows very fast and does not like to hold color. I'm not quite ready to make the switch, but I'm also not sure that I can keep up the routine of coloring every 3 weeks for another 20 years just because other people don't think grey looks as good as my dark hair. </p> <p>This is one area of fashion and beauty where people expect you to dramatically change what is naturally you, and I think the expectations of others place an undue burden on people. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-181007 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 16:20:11 +0000 cciele 181007@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I started going gray in my 20s. I have no idea how gray I am now (mid40s), but I definitely know that I'll be coloring my hair for a long while yet -- I'm with taylor on this one I have fun with color, and it doesn't wreck my hair (probably makes it more manageable, since my hair is thick and stick straight). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-181001 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 16:09:24 +0000 Anonymous 181001@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One thing that helps if you want to go grey and your skin color is fading is to go just a bit darker with your skin tone on your face. I noticed that women with silver hair and darker skin looked so much better than those with pale complexions. I use a skin darkener (Jergens Natural Glow daily moisterizer for medium/tan skin tones) daily and also use a darker tinted moisturizer (Mary Kay) than I'd normally use as a foundation. If you play with make-up colors, be sure to wait awhile after applying before evalulating the color on your skin. What looks way too dark going on may settle to just the right shade a few minutes later. The slightly darker tones make a big difference. You could probably do something similar with bronzer or go more rosey instead of darker too.<br /> It's not so dark that it looks different from the rest of my skin. I use the Jergans a couple of times a week on my neck area to be sure. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180997 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 16:00:24 +0000 taylor 180997@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>An, I totally get what you are saying:) I wish we could all appreciate the things of aging...even the not so great ones!!</p> <p>Many things I do embrace...some not so much:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180943 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 13:28:41 +0000 Dusty 180943@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm already seeing gray hair and I'm certainly not planning to embrace that any time soon! I honestly don't see myself letting it all go grey ever, honestly. That pretty silver-y grey wouldn't be a very good color for me, I don't think - I think I need the contrast of dark hair for my complexion to work. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180928 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 11:42:29 +0000 Refugee 180928@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not all gray hair is created equal. I have a neighbor who started going gray right after high school. She had lovely salt and pepper hair that was completely white by her mid thirties. And it always looked wonderful. I, on the other hand, have not been so fortunate. My hair is very flat and drab as it grays. While I hope one day I will get the beautiful white hair all of my grandparents had, right now I'm coloring it. Or actually Angie, my hairdresser is. It makes a world of difference in how I look and feel. I look kind of sickly with my natural color right now. In fact when it's time to have my color touched up all I do is call Angie and tell her 'there's a dead rodent on my head' and she knows exactly who it is and what I need. I'm past where I need to have the color touched up but I'm trying to decide on a new shorter cut and haven't found anything that remotely strikes my fancy that I think will work for me at the moment. Hair is the one accessory I wear with every outfit so I want it to always look fab. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180912 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 10:47:04 +0000 Kristen 180912@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting discussion! I love the silver hair of the first woman, and have considered off-and-on letting my hair go gray sometime in the next decade. I don't have any close role models in my family since I am the only blond one; my grandmothers were grey with dark undertones but my mother has been dying her hair for so long in so many different shades I have no idea what her real color is anymore! My sister is dark and has a lot of gray popping up early, but my blond hair tends to hide the few that appear between highlights. Since my regular color is a pretty mousy brown, I almost would like to go gray -- I wonder if it would give me the light hair frame that I prefer, you know? Without highlights, my hair is too dark for my taste -- so would gray give me the same ratio of light-to-dark? This is the dilemma I ponder... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180909 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 10:25:17 +0000 An 180909@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good point Taylor, I better hold that comment until I'm a bit more qualified to comment sorry! (I'll probably still be coloring at 80!) 'Should embrace' was a bit strong but I do admire those who 'appear' to embrace their age but still have beautiful style. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180870 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 05:26:15 +0000 taylor 180870@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>An,<br /> just about 2 yrs. from 55 myself I won't be embracing grey hair, and as a hairstylist I can tell you out of a couple hundred of my clients only 1 in this age bracket is all silver.<br /> You may feel different when you actually reach your 50's about embracing your age, grey hair and all:)</p> <p>Hair is a very easy thing to change, and yields wonderful results, without surgery.<br /> most women don't feel ready for all grey hair in their 50's...thus the debate and indecision. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180857 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 04:36:15 +0000 An 180857@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting discussion. I love Theresa's silver hair. I think as we age, and our skin color changes, grey hair (the right grey hair) is more flattering. I'm going to disagree with Maya and Taylor on this one ... I'm not seeing pale and drawn in the second photo, to me she looks like she has more color in her face in the silver hair photo. But each to their own. I just think we should embrace where we are at in life. That said I don't want to be grey at 35 but at 55- 65 I suspect I'll be quite happy with to embrace the grey </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180850 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 04:17:09 +0000 Vix 180850@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it's unfortunate that the blogger Tarzy linked did an apples/oranges comparison since it basically blows the whole compare and contrast thing out of the water.</p> <p>I weighed in on a recent grey hair thread with this link:</p> <p><a href="http://goinggraylookinggreat.com/" rel="nofollow">http://goinggraylookinggreat.com/</a></p> <p>because I think the vast majority of the women DO look great, and frequently much better than they did with artificial color. </p> <p>[But then I think many non-greying women who color their hair -- at home or professionally -- end up by choice or accident with non-flattering shades.]</p> <p>Frankly, 40+ is when a lot of past and current bad habits catch up with people. Sure, we lose our naturally dewy skin texture to some degree as we age -- but sun exposure, smoking, crappy diets can all make the skin look very non-youthful as all impair circulation and cell renewal.</p> <p>It's been said by others more eloquently at various times, but I think a woman with grey hair who takes care of her health as best she can and eschews drab colors, don't-mind-me clothing, and a random haircut will often look much more VITAL and yes, often more youthful than women who make other choices...but dye their hair. </p> <p>[FTR, I'm not ready to transition yet (41, greying since 16, get pro color every 4 weeks but need it at 3) but do see it happening once I get to a certain point of non-patchiness. My re-growth is 1.5 inches a month and it's tedious and spendy to outwit it!] </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180832 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 03:32:04 +0000 Beth 180832@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting. I've been graying since my twenties and have had my hair colored professionally for the last 8 or 9 years. My hair is at least 70% gray now. My sister, who is 4 years younger than I am, is even more gray. We both clearly take after my mom:)</p> <p>Speaking of mom, she has the loveliest silver hair. She just turned 70 and while I'd love to see her embrace her hair, she still colors it and I imagine always will. It makes her feel fab and that's OK. For me, I hope to have her silver color. I'll wear it with pride. Just not yet </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180806 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 02:48:42 +0000 Debbie 180806@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I color my hair and will continue too at least for a while. My grey is not a flattering shade. When I'm finally ready I will cut it short until it is all one color. I think this is a decision every woman has to make for herself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180798 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 02:34:14 +0000 Frances 180798@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tarzy, thank you for posting this link. This has actually been on my mind the past few days, as I had the "big talk" about going gray with my hairstylist last week. The gray is coming in faster now for me--I see so many more sparkly silver strands each time I sit beneath the bright lights in his salon. The funny thing was, we started to talk about it cautiously, then in almost conspiratorial tones. "Well, what if we did just let the silver take its natural course?" I was surprised that in the middle of this hip salon full of young stylists and clients, he was immensely supportive and even seemed in favor of letting it come in naturally. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180778 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 02:06:03 +0000 Anonymous 180778@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think her face is too youthful to handle all that gray hair. I'm 46 and look quite a bit younger than my chronological age. I'm at about 40% gray at the moment and will continue to color until my appearance catches up to my age! It just seems to "go" better on me...and probably on her as well.</p> <p>However! I think if a woman wants to go gray, she should own it and work it. I do like her attitude about her gray hair and once I am at the point where I am 100% gray, I hope I am as positive about it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180776 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 02:05:50 +0000 Maya 180776@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think it's even an issue of age or looking older. It just looks unflattering. Her complexion just looks so pale and drawn. A shame considering how pretty she is. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180772 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 02:00:25 +0000 taylor 180772@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>bless you Maya, my though...even photoshopped ...awful!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180768 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 01:58:25 +0000 Maya 180768@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Uh, don't kill me but I don't think she looks so fab in the after picture. Very pale and washed out. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180763 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 01:55:09 +0000 taylor 180763@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tarzy, If you want to stop coloring, cut your hair short and sassy, let it go, you could pull it off with style:) ...if you don't like it color it again:)<br /> I understand this aging thing...I'm almost 53 myself. The maintenance can just be too much...it's not just the hair, we have lots of battles. If I have enough grey at 60 I will let it go:)</p> <p>This photo is obviously photoshopped. She hasn't a wrinkle on her face , yet she still looks 20 years older in the grey haired pic...in other words, she looks like a 33 yr. old who has greyed like a 53 yr. old...and it is WAY too long..not flattering. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180759 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 01:48:05 +0000 Jonesy 180759@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>When I was younger I thought I would probably dye my hair. Now that I have some gray in it, I find that I don't mind it at all. I really like how my natural hair is lots of different colors, from darker brown to a lighter reddish brown; dyeing it would erase that color variation. I also dislike the idea of all of the time and expense it would require to maintain dyed hair.</p> <p>I agree with you, Claudia, about colored or dyed hair sometimes looking coarse and straw-like, especially when it's not done professionally. I have two co-workers, both white women in their late 30s with naturally curly hair, who dye and straighten their hair. Their hair looks terrible! Like a bad wig. The effect is actually very aging. And the funny thing is they have both complimented me on my naturally curly hair! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180743 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 01:33:48 +0000 Claudia 180743@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am planning to let the grays come in, give it a fair chance to see how it looks before coloring it. At almost 49, it is starting to happen. </p> <p>A number of my friends who started to gray earlier and started coloring it right away wish they had never started because it is so hard to stop once you start, the change would be so dramatic as to be startling instead of a gradual change over.</p> <p>I dread the thought of coloring more than graying, to be honest. </p> <p>While many people do look better/younger maintaining color, you can always tell when someone is coloring their hair, even with the best dye job, and on some, this dull, flat and coarse dyed look, especially those going too dark, with their aging complexion looks unnatural and is worse than gray to my eyes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180724 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 01:17:30 +0000 MsMaven 180724@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Luckily for me my hair didn't start to turn gray until pretty late. Lucky, because my DH is absolutely freaky about gray hair. He always comments on any woman he sees with even a few gray strands showing. For a long time my colorist was able to keep my hair close to it's original, but lately it's getting lighter and I don't think it goes with me. After an attempt to get closer to my original color, I gave up and now we are doing blonde highlights and a plan to gradually transition into gray. </p> <p>I notice that several friends and relatives who swore they would never color their hair have a suspicious lack of any gray despite moving well into their 60s.</p> <p>For me the most important factor is that the person has a good, up-to-date hairstyle and keeps hair in good condition. I see a lot of what I call old hippie hair and it isn't pretty. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180713 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 00:48:26 +0000 Katja 180713@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm going against the mainstream here - I don't color (anymore), and I don't plan to, even if it makes me look older. I agree with Katiepea that grooming and care for one's appearance make a difference, and I'm counting on that to carry me through. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180709 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 00:37:12 +0000 tarzy 180709@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>San - I know what you mean about the frame. I love your brown hair color. It's so pretty on you.</p> <p>Sinead - if I did it, I would cut my hair as short as I could stand it. I hate that salt &amp; pepper look on me!</p> <p>I think I'm very bored right now ... probably not the best time to make such a big decision, LOL. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180675 Wed, 07 Jul 2010 23:58:22 +0000 medusa 180675@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gray hair certainly can be beautiful - this post is a great example of that. I'm looking forward to having (all-over) gray hair. Right now I just have a few gray strands. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/for-those-wresting-with-the-gray-hair-question#post-180673 Wed, 07 Jul 2010 23:50:55 +0000 Angie 180673@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm 100% with Sandy and Sinead. Thank you for writing what's in my head. </p>