https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 03 Apr 2026 20:21:48 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551932 Sat, 05 Sep 2015 01:26:24 +0000 Anonymous 1551932@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so confused what are we talking about again? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551929 Sat, 05 Sep 2015 01:21:12 +0000 Colette 1551929@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ditto what Aliona said! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551907 Sat, 05 Sep 2015 00:38:05 +0000 Elly 1551907@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Can I join team fashion ignoramous with you and Peri, Suz?</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551900 Sat, 05 Sep 2015 00:28:40 +0000 Suz 1551900@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>High five, Peri!!&nbsp;</p> <p>I agree with everything you've said. Especially this:&nbsp;</p> <p><i>The only way to completely avoid social influence is to avoid social interaction. I stand by my own evaluation. I love to see all the things people get excited about. I see no uncomfortable underside. It is up to me to decide from there if an item works for me or not. </i></p> <p>But I also agree with Lisa and Gaylene that different people's baggage may affect them differently. For you and me, the forum is an introduction to items and stylings we'd never see, IRL, and it helps us find things we love and figure out how to wear them.&nbsp;</p> <p>But again, I came here an absolute fashion ignoramus. I had no idea how to do things. Now I have a clue. Thanks to all of you! &nbsp;:)</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551894 Sat, 05 Sep 2015 00:19:50 +0000 Anonymous 1551894@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Can I just say how much I am enjoying and learning from this thread? Smart women (making an assumption posters are female) with distinctly different opinions engaging in sensible, polite discourse. </p> <p>Maybe we should all run for elected office. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551878 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 23:31:11 +0000 catgirl 1551878@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I actually very rarely wear Angie's recommended outfits in the way she styles them. But her input and information that she shares is all incredibly helpful in knowing what options are out there. i think you are correct, Anna, that when I see a style or color that works for me I panic because it isn't often that am item just works for me, especially dresses. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551869 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 23:06:57 +0000 annagybe 1551869@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think it's so much FOMO. It's that you found something that works for you, and you see something similar so it's very easy to get that, because you know on level it will work. But you didn't know that it existed till someone pointed it out.<br />Also I honestly don't think anyone on here can be truly unique in their fashion or style because we all buy all at retail. Unless you either design your own clothes or get the made from new designs. Haute Couture falls under this, because more often that not it's one off. The only person who truly comes close to this is Firecracker, and even shes adds in RTW. There's only so many ways one can make a pair of jeans.</p> <p>But back to forum. Fashion magazines are dying. FashionTelevision and </p> <p>Style with Elsa Klensch, RIP.&nbsp;&nbsp;Many here I've noticed only read this blog as a sole source of fashion information, I think Gaylene you said so yourself at one point. Seeing things here posted by Angie and others shows what is out there in the stores and shifts in fashion.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551868 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 22:59:58 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1551868@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*runs in, does complicated fist bump-secret handshake thing with Jenn, runs out again* </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551863 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 22:36:56 +0000 Gaylene 1551863@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Peri, of course you are right that the "fault" doesn't lie witin the forum, or its members, but within ourselves. But (and you knew I'd have one, right ), as Lisa says, we all bring our "noise" to the equation. Being around the excitement makes it hard not sometimes not to get caught up in the giddy fun. We also shop in different ways and in different environments, so returns and "trial" periods aren't always as easy for some as for others. </p> <p>I guess Una's original question about why do some of us succumb to FOMO and make poor buying decisions just triggered my thoughts about the whole question of the duplicating, copying, and imitating that occasionally sweeps through the forum. I think I'm not alone in having had some regrets about how these urges have influenced my buying habits and I've wondered if my desire to imitate Angie, or another forum member, hasn't contributed to it. Sam Edelman pumps, I'm looking at you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551837 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 22:05:28 +0000 Jenn 1551837@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I get it. I don't necessarily think it's undue influence from other members, but being on this forum certainly keeps you in touch with the retail machine and, thus, more subject to retailer's FOMO tactics. It can be hard to resist when you go to Zappo's or wherever and see "only 1 left in this size." Their job is to get you to put things in your shopping cart, and they're good at what they do.</p> <p>Luckily, everyone here is equally as supportive about SYC and returns as about adding great new wardrobe pieces.</p> <p>Laura is right, I'd probably be a lot more tempted if I were a size 4 or 6 than I am at a size 14 or 16. Ask me about this again when the NPSLC (Nearly Plus Size Lemming Circle) kicks into gear. &nbsp;:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551829 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 21:52:50 +0000 Peri 1551829@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry to argue the opposite point, Gaylene and Lisa...you know I always love to hear your thoughts! But if your hypothetical (I think) jacket never felt right on your body or worked with the rest of your closet, what is it doing in your closet? The idea that needs to be examined is why do we <b>keep</b>&nbsp;things, not why do we order them in the first place. It is hardly the fault of the forum if we keep what isn't right for us. If I make a shopping mistake I'm hardly going to fall back on "well, the forum was so excited about it so I had to buy it".&nbsp;</p> <p>The only way to completely avoid social influence is to avoid social interaction. I stand by my own evaluation. I love to see all the things people get excited about. I see no uncomfortable underside. It is up to me to decide from there if an item works for me or not. It is certainly not a problem the forum needs to address. Maybe this is easy for me because I'm not a shopper. Saying no comes much more easily to me than saying yes. So if someone is having this issue, I don't mean to make light of it. I just don't like the idea that people getting excited about what they have found and want to share could be viewed as a downside.&nbsp;</p> <p>And yes, copying may not be the most accurate word. I've never seen anyone actually copy another member. There is no "single white female" going on. I have several items that various other forum members have, but we don't look like each other and we certainly don't try to. It's just help (hopefully) finding a nice dress that I've tried to find on my own for three years and haven't been able to. If I don't like it, back it goes. Win-win, no loss, no downside.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551796 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 20:57:59 +0000 catgirl 1551796@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, you make a good point. But I don't know that these lenming waves can be prevented or the discomfort that can come with them. For me, I'm grateful that I've been forced to rock back on my heels and think about how to better cope with my own impulses. If I didn't have the forum, it would be some other aspect in my life and I would have to deal with it in that realm. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551761 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 19:57:10 +0000 Anonymous 1551761@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Excellent point(s) Gaylene, and I, again, agree. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p> </p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551755 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 19:40:11 +0000 Gaylene 1551755@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, I'm sticking to my original thought in spite of Angie's chiding. I'm not saying that copying and imitation never work--just that, for me, the odds are rarely in my favour. Others, of course, may have a completely different opinion. </p> <p>But what bothers me is the insidious lure of imitating, FOMO, and herd mentality, and the realization how much it has cost me in time, energy, and money. The tricky part is these things OCCASIONALLY work--just often enough to make me want to take another chance--but the odds are almost never in my favour. The jacket which was a forum darling ends up in a consignment bag a few months later because It never feels quite right on my body or works with the rest of my wardrobe. The "insurance" duplicate hangs in the closet for a year or two until it looks dated, or my body/style mrphs into something different, and thus meets the same fate. And that gorgeous dress that actually fits and looks as good on me as it did on its original owner hangs in my closet because I have to invent occasions to wear it. </p> <p>I'm not saying everyone has my odds, or that others can't be bigger risk-takers, just that forums like this can have a downside as well as a plus side. I think it's this sort of discomfort that makes people feel the only solution is to sign off the forum permanently. Maybe "outing" this underside might make it easier for some of us to pause before we leap onto another bandwagon. Fun with fashion doesn't have to have a bad aftertaste.</p> <p>ETA: just wanted to add this clarification: in my mind, there is a clear distinction between copying and imitating, and being inspired by someone or something. To me inspiration is an internal, personal response to a stimulus, while copying and imitating puts its effort on creating a facsimile of the orginal. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551662 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 17:50:22 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1551662@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Over my tenure at YLF, I don't think I've lemming-ed that many specific pieces, mainly because I'm bigger than most of y'all and they wouldn't fit or come in my size. I'm not sure who's still around who's a similar size to me - maybe me and Marianna and thistle and maybe Jenn could start a nearly-plus-size lemming circle or something. I was able to dismiss the Vince dress because it would have looked awful on me and likely been way too short anyway. </p> <p>But the general feeling of wanting to participate in a trend, or just worrying that something will sell out and you'd miss your chance, I definitely struggle with all the time. Retailers are really good at creating that sense of urgency and FOMO because it benefits them when people make quick, emotional decisions rather than calm, reasoned ones. </p> <p>And Suz's point is well-made too. There are times when you miss out and you can't go back in time. There will always be more clothes, but there won't always be that particular fabric or fit that happens to work really well, since most retailers constantly change up their offerings. So it's hard to strike a balance between realizing when you've got a good thing in front of you, and realizing that you're talking yourself into something that you'll regret later. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551658 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 17:46:34 +0000 Suz 1551658@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Lisa,</b> ditto what Una said -- reading people's analyses is a highlight of this forum!!&nbsp;</p> <p>Also, you're absolutely right -- we each bring different baggage with us.&nbsp;</p> <p>I'm in <b>Peri's</b> school. Shopping used to terrify me, I never did it, I had few opportunities anyway, where I lived, and I could never find things that worked for me. Being on here has cut down the shopping angst -- now I truly enjoy it! As she said, YLF streamlines the shopping process, makes it <b>possible,</b> even. I simply could not manage it before.&nbsp;</p> <p>Also like <b>Peri</b>, I might hit the "buy" button when I experience FOMO or lemmingitis, &nbsp;but I won't "keep" unless I really love something for myself. So copying others does not have to be expensive or wasteful.&nbsp;</p> <p>That wasn't necessarily true in my first year or two here. I wasn't always as confident in my own feelings or perceptions. But the longer I'm here the more sure I am of my own gut feelings about an item. If I don't feel great in it, there's no point in keeping it. Though it can be useful to hear what others perceive; this keeps me learning.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551626 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 17:04:32 +0000 catgirl 1551626@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, I didn't return the Vince dress.&nbsp; I just didn't buy the blue duplicate!&nbsp; Restraint is a step forward for me.&nbsp; </p> <p>Lisa, I love your essays - reading people's considered thoughts is the best part of YLF for me!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551585 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 16:13:19 +0000 Anonymous 1551585@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've been thinking about this while getting ready to head out for the day, and wanted to add this:</p> <p>Everyone here brings a different personality, different set of issues/baggage , and different ways of interacting with each other. &nbsp;Clothing/shopping/dressing is probably one of the most emotionally infused subjects we can talk about (outside of politics and religion ) . &nbsp;Some people view buying and dressing as a hobby, others as a necessity, and lots of us use it to deal with a whole cartload of baggage dragged with us from childhood (not that I'm talking about myself here or anything - lol). &nbsp;Copying, inspiring, suggesting - it's all good - but each one of us handles the "noise" in a different way. &nbsp;I happen to understand &nbsp;or agree with what Gaylene suggested because it is something I feel for MYSELF. &nbsp;I am very very introverted and get overwhelmed by things easily (words, talking, excitement etc) and that's where all the chatter about one specific dress can get to me. &nbsp;NOTE: I lemminged the burg one too, so don't hold myself apart from this at all. I find it fascinating in an anthropological way but it does bring me back to things I really dislike about myself, and things that I grew up hearing were negative characteristics. &nbsp;Anyways - sorry Una to hijack this thread with my essay of the day. Gotta run to work. &nbsp;:) &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me/page/2#post-1551582 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 16:07:36 +0000 Janet 1551582@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's not really simple, is it? We all have slightly different motivations and reactions to this. I find myself feeling that FOMO thing at certain points when a style or item hits the collective consciousness here...and then I get turned off once it seems like the forum is saturated with the look. Even though it may not be prevalent in my area of the world! </p> <p>To me, this is a sign to step back and really look at why I want something, how I will wear it, and how it fits into my wardrobe, my style, and my life. As long as we keep tempering that rush of wantsies when it seems like "everyone's doing it," I think a balance can be achieved. </p> <p>At least that's how I feel at the moment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me#post-1551566 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 15:42:43 +0000 Angie 1551566@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, I don't think you can generalize in that way. Being inspired by another - Suz's point - is a reason people stay on this forum.</p> <p>Una, you have many shift dresses. You were right to return the Vince dress and get Winter woolies for your REAL life in Alaska.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me#post-1551557 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 15:35:47 +0000 AviaMariah 1551557@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes! &nbsp;I've mostly gotten over "sales-goggle-itus" but FOMO (I had to read through everyone's posts before I figured out what this stands for) is alive and real. &nbsp;When Zappos gives me the message "only one left in this size" I have to almost physically hold my hand back from clicking the order button. &nbsp; Because there will NEVER be another cute pair of black boots EVER! &nbsp;About the Vince dress; I was never even tempted by it (sworn off tunic dresses while I'm BFing) but I still thought about ordering the blue one! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me#post-1551556 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 15:35:16 +0000 catgirl 1551556@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, don't lemmings throw themselves off a cliff en masse?&nbsp; Yikes! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me#post-1551552 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 15:33:13 +0000 viva 1551552@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love the idea of a shopping "assist."&nbsp; It sounds so much nicer than being a lemming, and it suggests we're all working out. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me#post-1551532 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 15:13:09 +0000 Peri 1551532@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've found wonderful things from copying...like you are all my personal shoppers! As someone who doesn't like to shop, and gets stress rather than enjoyment from the hunt, I think the YLF pre-screening saves my sanity and has blessed my closet and life with things I never would have found on my own.&nbsp;</p> <p>I think the success comes from being so hard to please when I'm looking in the mirror. Truly, someone, or lots of someones, liking something in no way influences whether<i> I like me</i>&nbsp;<i></i>in the something. But if I do, I am really grateful for the shopping assist! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me#post-1551524 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 15:07:07 +0000 catgirl 1551524@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz, agreed - the forum could not be more useful to help with finding others who share your climate, style and/or body type.&nbsp; Learning in that manner has been invaluable to me.&nbsp; For example, tunic/skinnies/boots (which I'm wearing today) are a no-brainer now, thanks to YLF.&nbsp; </p> <p>But MY skinnies and boots may not be another person's skinnies and boots - that's where the lemming-itis can be problematic.&nbsp; Mostly I've learned this lesson, but every now and then it still is a bitter pill.&nbsp; And the Vince dress fever is an example not of that problem, but of some other issue - probably related to hoarding!</p> <p>BTW, I wore the butt-vest yesterday and got a ton of compliments!&nbsp; Like "stopped at the Rack to ask where I got it" compliments.&nbsp; So funny!&nbsp; I actually described it to one person as a butt-vest and she cracked up.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me#post-1551518 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 14:55:42 +0000 Suz 1551518@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm coming back on here to be contrarian.&nbsp;</p> <p>I actually think buying things that work for others can work brilliantly. Imitation is one way to develop our style.&nbsp;</p> <p>For me, it's been crucial. I had no objectivity about myself before I came here, no way of figuring out how I wanted to look. Copying others with similar lifestyles, style aspirations, or body types has been revelatory.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Gaylene</b>, I copied <b>you</b> to great effect with linen tees, colour blocking, and several other strategies that have worked like a charm. Even with some specific items.&nbsp;</p> <p>I've also copied Angie to good effect in some items. And others here as well. Too many to name.&nbsp;</p> <p>So it's not always a mistake. It's only a mistake if you can't rein in your spending to your budget or you overbuy for your true needs.&nbsp;</p> <p>Okay, admittedly -- sometimes specific items are mistakes -- i.e. I copied <b>Lisa</b> on the butt-vest and it turned out to be a ridiculous (and weirdly expensive) mistake for me. (The item that looked cheap on the site came with lots of hidden costs and shipping etc.) But without making mistakes we'd never evolve and grow.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me#post-1551511 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 14:39:46 +0000 Anonymous 1551511@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, Gaylene, yes. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me#post-1551507 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 14:37:26 +0000 Peri 1551507@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My current FOMO confession...Suz's cashmere hooded cardigan. Because? I love the color and it looked cute on her. Yep, that's it! I sort of wanted a long cardigan, and I did try one, but a cashmere one? Not what I need. It doesn't suit my climate at all...I could wear it over a lightweight blouse, but if it is cold enough for cashmere why wouldn't I just put on one of the many pullovers I love? It's not like I get tired of them before the season is over. I do want a medium warm jacket, but I don't think that would survive very long as outerwear. So...I took it out of my shopping cart. Reason ruled.</p> <p>For me I'm not counting the dress as lemming or FOMO. If it works for me...still a big if...it will be the magic of YLF finding for me what I've tried for about 3 years to find and it will fill a real need. I'm so picky that lemmingness might make me try something, but it won't make me keep it.&nbsp;</p> <p>I do get the pull to duplicate when you already know you love something and will wear it. I duplicated the Halogen asymm tunic at NAS. I know I will wear them both because they are every day kinds of things. I don't see anything bad about duplicating everyday kind of items, but I'd be leary of duplicating special occasion kinds of clothes. For me, I just don't have enough special occasions!&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me#post-1551498 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 14:24:16 +0000 catgirl 1551498@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz, once I calmed down I realized it was not worth it for me. I have nice dresses. I have blue dresses. Sheer sleeves are generally not useful for me.</p> <p> At the Rack as I was browsing cashmere sweaters, I kept asking myself "would you rather get the blue Vince dress?" and the answer was no, not with winter breathing down my neck and warm cozy sweaters right at my fingertips. Maybe it's a good thing I'm easily distracted! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fomo-the-vince-dress-and-me#post-1551492 Fri, 04 Sep 2015 14:20:15 +0000 Suz 1551492@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes...this wasn't "lemming-itis" with no focus on what works for you...this was a kind of fear of running out. Or a recognition (or belief) that this item is actually so GOOD for your style that you might want more than one.&nbsp;</p> <p>And you know what? Sometimes that impulse makes sense. I have two of the Zara mixed media silk tanks from last year. I wear them ALL. THE. TIME. in summer. They are my t-shirt. And my dressy top. All in one. I LOVE them. And they are almost worn out, and I probably can't really eke another season from them. Yet they are so perfect for my body and my style and my life that I am seriously worried about what I will do when they are no more.</p> <p>This Vince dress could be an item like that. I'm just not 100% sure that it will be. So I hover...waiting for Ms. Mary's verdict.&nbsp; </p>