https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 11 Apr 2026 18:38:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85422 Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:42:41 +0000 Alecia 85422@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you so much for your candor and sensitivity. It really is so helpful and calming.</p> <p>My husband was ready to have kids the minute we were married. He will be a wonderful father in that he will be very attentive and caring. I know that it will be magical to behold when it happens. And I have been inching along toward being comfortable with the idea. I do feel like I'm emotionally ready to be a parent but continue to have those few nagging worries. Worrying is nothing new, I should be a professional worrier. So at some point I just have to make the leap and trust what I know - that I love my husband and want to have a family with him, that we have an extraordinarily strong relationship and skills to effectively communicate, that it will not be easy but we can do it, and that my husband will always make me laugh in spite of myself. </p> <p>I also love the idea of help with the cleaning. We are having a budget discussion here soon and I think I will broach that topic again. </p> <p>Hugs all around! You all are really the best. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85348 Mon, 10 Aug 2009 06:35:25 +0000 RoseandJoan 85348@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for continuing to share your stories ladies.</p> <p>Alecia, I have read your posts with interest. You have received alot of good advice on here already. What I would ask is practicalities aside do you feel emotionally ready to become a parent? If both you and your partner are ready this is a major step forward. With regards to the practicalities, will the right time ever arrive? With two small children and the credit crunch my husband and I are having a hard time financially but we are also the happiest we have ever been. Motherhood sometimes feels like you are juggling a dozen different balls and occasionally for your sanity you have to let some drop. My house is by no means upto it's usual standard but I am willing to sacrifice this to spend more time with the children and my husband.</p> <p>To Patience, thank you for your advice about buying the best basics. This is what I plan to do, however because of the limited budget I expect it to take some time to achieve. Unfortunatly this means I am still wearing jeans which are two sizes too big. It just like I said though sometimes you have to let a couple of balls drop. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85327 Mon, 10 Aug 2009 04:19:57 +0000 marianne 85327@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's been wonderful to read everyone's stories! I've been feeling quite worn out from the kids lately, and this really helps me to put things in perspective and remember about all the amazing things they bring to your life.<br /> I also remember that I felt extremely confident when I was pregnant - I never felt that way before or after. And yes, the pregnancy hair! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85318 Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:39:51 +0000 Ariadne 85318@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK, you're all making me reconsider the cashmere. I'll try them on again before I sell them. I'm not sure the styles are the best for me, so that in itself is enough reason to pass them on. I'm on a tight budget, too, so in order to get more of what I really need, I have to sell some of what I don't really need at this exact moment in order to raise funds.</p> <p>Alecia, good luck with your decision. I second shiny's suggestion of considering a cleaning service. My husband is really busy this month finishing his Master's thesis and I'm carrying most of the housecare and childcare load (by mutual agreement) and it's really exhasuting. If we could afford a cleaning service, I'd be happy beyond belief! Having a baby is wonderful but it's definitely hard work and a big change, even when you have a textbook angel baby like I do. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85305 Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:00:32 +0000 Patience 85305@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've so enjoyed reading this thread.</p> <p>My story includes 2 children with one on the way. With my daughter (my first) I had terrible morning sickness first trimester and didn't gain all that much weight over all. I also remember feeling my belly was beautiful and how my focus about how I looked shifted from my face to my torso. It took me about 6 months to get back to my "normal" weight which means actually 10 lbs less than my pre-pregnancy weight which was higher due to taking birth control. I actually liked my body *better* after pregnancy than before. I had never liked my thighs and something just changed. My problem spots changed; I have no idea if my body type changed (probably not) because I'm not sure what I was before but I've probably been rectangle all along. Now my problem spot is my belly which will never be washboard again but that's okay. It's worth it.</p> <p>With my son I had a midwife who approached morning sickness much more proactively. This means I gained a lot more weight but the morning sickness was also significantly better. This is a big plus when you're already chasing one child around. It took me about a year to get back to pre-pregnancy weight and even longer for my breasts to shrink back but they did. I nursed my daughter 20 months and my son almost 29. Even though it was more of a challenge to lose weight after my son, I found the toll on my body to nourish him and work so great that I think it was actually a good thing for me to have those reserves. I made a deal with myself that I would be healthy but not stress about the weight and just trust my body to do its thing. It took time but it worked. This time around my belly stretched even more-- got a ton of stretch marks-- but over time I've come to really appreciate my narrow hips which grew 2 in. and 2 sizes with my son and eventually went back. Pretty amazing.</p> <p>Getting pregnant again has really been an adjustment since I can't wear a lot of the styles I love. I tend to be particularly sensitive about my chest being wide. But I still think my belly is beautiful and thinking back, I know how short a time it will be before my body adjusts back, and I'll have a baby to enjoy in the meantime. And I just embrace what I can wear now.</p> <p>Whew! I hope you don't mind the story. Anyway, now for the fashion. Really, this site has made a world of difference in helping me know how to find my style. It CAN be done. This time is going to be different because I will be a stay at home mom instead of going back to work. I definitely get to have fun dressing smarter at work. But the past couple of weeks I've been mostly on vacation with kids and I think I've done well. I'm convinced that that with this site I'll be able to make the transition. Think about it this way-- you're a mom which means you can do *anything.* "Seriously", as my daughter would say. But give yourself some slack because it does take practice.</p> <p>My advice would be to start with the basics. I mean find basics that REALLY work for you and are easily duplicated and replenished when they wear out. Jeans that look great and are comfortable. Camisoles that are comfortable have a fabrication you love. Awesome bras. Hair that's easy and looks great (I'm still looking for that killer style myself.) Etc.</p> <p>Alecia, I think it's a good thing to be scared. Because you will be prepared and it won't be as bad as you worried it would be. Good luck! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85272 Mon, 10 Aug 2009 01:23:31 +0000 shana 85272@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would say that the first time it took about 3 years for me to start feeling a bit like my old self again. Of course, shortly after, I found myself pregnant again after I had finally settled my mind on us being a family of three. Baby number two is now 20 months and I don't feel like I am quite there yet. I agree that my fashion mojo might have recovered a bit faster had I gone back to work. I was making the transition from mostly work wear to more casual wear at the same time and it has taken me quite some time to figure that out. </p> <p>Anyway, my body is not even close to being the same - my breasts expanded to the size of melons and now I'm left with a deflated, droopy mess, the stretch marks on my belly look like a topographical map of the himalayas, I have lots of saggy skin leftover on my belly (even when the fat is gone, the skin unfortunately remains on me because my skin is not very elastic), and my butt has completely disappeared. But honestly, none of it matters compared to the sheer, exquisite joy of having a child in my arms. My life has changed forever and I wouldn't have it any other way. </p> <p>I definitely felt wonderful pregnant! Like Shiny said, what a relief not to suck my gut in for a change! With big boobs and an undefined waist (I'm an inverted triangle with apple tendencies), I felt "normal" for the the first time in my life with my pregnant belly! Oh and my hair - as gorgeous and thick as it was when I was a teenager. I really miss my pregnancy hair. And also agree with Shiny about the revelation about my body. I now regard my body with awe and appreciation. I grew, birthed (with no epidural or pain relief) &#38; nurtured two children with this body so there's nothing I can't do now!</p> <p>Alecia, you don't sound irrational at all. What does your husband think about having kids? It certainly takes alot of commitment from both parents and your life will definitely change ALOT. I agree that it's not something to overanalyze but at the same time, it's best to discuss these changes, responsibilities and expectations upfront with your partner. I remember debating if I was ready years back and I had a wonderful discussion with my college advisor. At the time, I was concerned about giving up my career and how I would be able to carve out a meaningful career while also raising a family. At the end, she said, "well, Shana, no one ever sees 'Beloved Colleague' on a tombstone, do they?" </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85246 Sun, 09 Aug 2009 22:38:20 +0000 shiny 85246@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Alecia, you have legitimate concerns and you're not irrational at all. It's good you are thinking through this angle. </p> <p>This reminds me of a story about my sister. When she first got married, her husband discovered she is an A number 1 slob. (Of course, all of us in the family could've told him that, but he was so smitten he never thought to ask us, hee hee!). This caused lots and lots of strife in the initial years of their marriage (many many years before they had kids). They almost got divorced over it. Finally, they decided to get a house cleaning service. My sister and her hubby swear this saved their marriage. To this day, they have a service, and have ramped it up to twice a week once my niece came along. My sister and her hubby aren't overly wealthy and they say they would find the $ for someone to come in - because it is worth it for the health and happiness of their marriage!!!! They joke that the price of it is much cheaper than a marital counselor. ;-)</p> <p>So perhaps that is something you and your hubby might consider? It wouldn't solve having to single parent on nights he's working (which I'm not going to kid you, in the beginning stages with an infant can be very tough - thankfully that stage passes very fast). But it would remove any arguments over housekeeping. Does he work every night? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85243 Sun, 09 Aug 2009 21:59:08 +0000 taylor 85243@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Alecia,</p> <p>Being on the other side...my children are raised, I am still fairly young and now my babies are having babies...where did the years go!! Some of the happiest moments of my life were when my children were small and safely tucked in bed at night...I do miss that:( </p> <p>Of course you are scared...the biggest desicion of your life, bringing a child into the world and caring for it!! Do I think everyone should have a child...no...are you less of a person if you don't ....no</p> <p>I am however blessed beyond words for the joy I had and continue to have , the joy and love that only having children can bring. Each age is wonderful and exciting...even now as they are young adults.</p> <p>Don't try to Overanalize...you will never have a rational answer...follow your heart in this matter...there is no right or wrong way to go.</p> <p>As far as providing....There is a very old saying....*Babies bring their own bread*....I can't tell you how true that one is...:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85175 Sun, 09 Aug 2009 17:04:15 +0000 Alecia 85175@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, Shiny, I guess I'm just scared. I have the job that provides our health insurance and will likely be that person (unless health care reform happens) since hubby is a musician. Not many opportunities for jobs with health care in that line of work. So I don't have much flexibility in regards to my professional life (i.e., not working or doing something with fewer hours that doesn't provide health care). Plus, it's a pretty demanding job so I am often pretty beat when I get home from work.</p> <p>But hubby's job demands that he be gone a lot in the evenings so I may be alone in the evening parenting a lot. </p> <p>Then I also do the bulk of stuff around the house. We are talking about ways to even things out a bit but we've done that before and it's never really stuck much. He and I have very different ideas about what a functioning household looks and operates like. I know I'll have to let go of a lot but I already feel like we're just squeaking by and we don't even have a kid. </p> <p>I feel a bit spoiled worrying about this. Lots of single moms and dads raise kids alone and I've got a husband to share the load with. But I guess that's the crux of it. I have a partner but I'm a little worried that I'll have to function a lot like a single parent and that's not part of the deal I signed up for. </p> <p>The crux of the issue for me really boils down to the house stuff. I just want some more engagement there. (For the record, my husband is wonderful and I love him to pieces. And I love our life. I could do it the way it is now for a long time. It's the addition of another factor that freaks me out.) </p> <p>Does any of that make sense or am I just being totally irrational? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85166 Sun, 09 Aug 2009 16:10:48 +0000 Anonymous 85166@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah, new mommy MOJO! My babies are 11 and 6 now.....and I finally feel like I am getting a grip NOW. I stopped working outside the house after my first was born. When I had a job, style was easy and I always felt put together...even during the days when "casual friday' was introduced! Once I stopped working, I had several issues to deal with...being a new mommy for the first time, not working outside the home, no clothing budget. I quickly slipped into the sweat pants uniform! And I never really figured out how to dress for my new lifestyle. Actually, it is that feeling of never getting a grip on my new SAHM style that lead me to YLF in the first place!</p> <p>Clothing for mommies needs to meet several constraints: machine washable (i was very surprised at how much i needed to change my clothes since I was now a human napkin), flexible (i now needed to scale monkey bars and sit on the floor), casual (very different than the work clothes i sported previously).</p> <p>So overall, there is a definite challenge with being a new mommy and maintaining your style mojo. But in the big picture, my kids are my sunshine and my life and I cannot imagine living without them. The sweatpant stage is small potatoes compared to what I have brought into the world. i just wish i looked better in all those newborn pictures </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85160 Sun, 09 Aug 2009 15:48:33 +0000 shiny 85160@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think with motherhood there's also the whole mind-shift from what your body looks like, to what it is capable of doing. Creating a child out of nothing, then nurturing that child. It's pretty awesome. But, you don't have to go through pregnancy or breastfeed to have this mind-shift. Just carrying around a toddler on your hip, or realizing you are capable of operating without sleep for days on end, etc, effects the same mind-shift. </p> <p>Motherhood is very demanding - physically and emotionally. I would say the experience is like a couch potato training for and successfully running a marathon. You push yourself beyond what you think you are capable of, there are times you don't think you can go on, or when all that running seems downright monotonous, but you keep going and going, fueled by this adrenalin rush. There's exhilaration and sense of accomplishment and pride and all that too. </p> <p>Now I feel like we're shifting into a new stage, where it's more like I'm on the sidelines rooting my teens on and coaching them as they train for their own road races. Right now it's just 5k's... one day it'll be their own motherhood marathon. </p> <p>Well... DD16 has said she doesn't think she wants children, which is fine (I'd never insist everyone should have them). DD15, on the other hand, is taking child development classes and she really adores children and is so good with them... so she'll probably give me a passel of grandchildren someday. </p> <p>Alecia, why are you apprehensive? Is there specific concerns you are having? Maybe we can help you with that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85146 Sun, 09 Aug 2009 13:15:26 +0000 mummy2thea 85146@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great topic!</p> <p>I don't think that my body has changed very much since having my little girl. I have always been a size uk size 10 (occasionally creeping to a 12) and I still am after having the baby. However it does change how you feel about your body regardless of how different it actually is and this competely changes your attitude towards clothes. I have totally lost my sense of style, I am not entirely sure it has ever been that good but I was comfortable in certainly never spent as much time worrying about it as I do now. Not having as much time is one of the main problems as I am sure others will agree.<br /> All this aside, no matter how bad you feel sometimes it is all worth it. All I have to do is look at my little girl and see that smiley face and it makes me feel better. I am still not sure if we will have anymore children as we are gradually moving away from that proper baby stage I feel that it would be difficult to go back to sleepless nights, breastfeeding etc etc. Time will tell! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85137 Sun, 09 Aug 2009 12:22:14 +0000 Sihaya 85137@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Alecia - having kids is fraught with challenges with body changes, emotions, hormones, money, sleep, and logistics. And it's also one of the most powerful experiences I've had. It's really hard for me to capture the positives without making it sound hackneyed. The closest I can come to it is to say that if you're really happily married, even then you realize that it's hard work and that he leaves the toilet seat up at night. And you wouldn't trade him for anyone in the world </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85127 Sun, 09 Aug 2009 11:06:13 +0000 crwilson 85127@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I felt like I had just gotten my mojo back once my daughter hit about 2. That's about when I quit nursing, and my body started to return to its previous state. I lost the pregnancy weight pretty quickly, partly because I didn't gain that much (gestational diabetes puts a crimp in eating), and partly because of breastfeeding. But my body definitely is not the same. I have more of a belly (which was never small to begin with), and my rear disappeared and became completely flat. </p> <p>Now I'm pregnant again, and it's starting all over. I so envy those of you who said that you felt beautiful pregnant. I don't, at all. I wore yoga pants nearly every day all through my last pregnancy nearly all the time and didn't have any money to spend on clothes, and we're in a different situation this time, so I hope things will be better in that regard. </p> <p>I will say that I can't believe how quickly the time has already passed. When dd was an infant, I felt like that stage would last forever. But she's already so big. Whenever she just wants to cuddle, I try to enjoy it because this is such a transitory stage that will never truly return. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby/page/2#post-85116 Sun, 09 Aug 2009 06:48:07 +0000 Alecia 85116@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you all for your honest postings. My hubby and I are contemplating starting a family, but I am a bit apprehensive. I find your honest assessments of motherhood very helpful. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-85115 Sun, 09 Aug 2009 05:11:17 +0000 RoseandJoan 85115@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for the photos Judy</p> <p>Although the clothes are not my style I would love to look that confident in my own skin. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-85041 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 23:34:00 +0000 judy 85041@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>HI all, such a lovely touching discussion here. Takes me back. It also reminds me of a photo I saw recently on the web site The Selby.</p> <p>Check out this spread of a mom at home with kids: <a href="http://www.theselby.com/2_28_09_emma_b_andrew_cAU/index.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.theselby.com/2_28_0.....index.html</a> </p> <p>a couple of close ups:<br /> <a href="http://www.theselby.com/2_28_09_emma_b_andrew_cAU/pages/image32.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.theselby.com/2_28_0.....age32.html</a><br /> <a href="http://www.theselby.com/2_28_09_emma_b_andrew_cAU/pages/image6.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.theselby.com/2_28_0.....mage6.html</a> </p> <p>Her wardrobe and her home are kid friendly, yet radiate a simple available beauty. Her clothes don't look high maintenance at all, and yet to me, she looks like she feels her mojo in them. What do you think? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-85022 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 21:23:25 +0000 RoseandJoan 85022@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>San, you just brought a tear to my eye. I live three hundred miles away from my mother now and we have had a difficult relationship. There is not an hour goes by where I do not think about her at some point and I now see everything she did for me and my sisters and not just the things she was unable to. We may be preoccupied from time to time but we are always your children.</p> <p>With regards to what Laura said about appreciating your children no matter what the age it reminded me of a saying. It's a bit hallmark but I love the sentiment,</p> <p>'Yesterday is history<br /> Tomorrow a mistery<br /> So enjoy the present because it is a gift.</p> <p>And finally to Shiny, yes I did feel beautiful when I was pregnant. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-85020 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 20:59:16 +0000 Anonymous 85020@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congratulations on a new grand child Taylor! How fun!<br /> This has been a great thread to read. My kids are in their 30's now and I am actually quite lonely for them. Enjoy those little ones. I was exhausted when I had little kids to watch over and chase around all day. The day does come that you want to make them little again and real tham back in, but it is too late, they are gone. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-85018 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 20:29:39 +0000 Christie 85018@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, and Brianna ... don't get rid of cashmere! I'm afraid you will be sorry about that. I'm always on the hunt for cashmere at Goodwill. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-85017 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 20:28:23 +0000 Christie 85017@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shiny, I too felt beautiful while pregnant. I loved not holding in my tummy too! I loved my full, shiny head of hair too. I loved when my milk first came in because it balanced out my postpartum waistline. I did not love losing a lot of hair postpartum. :P</p> <p>I've "grown" two inches everywhere, and honestly I think its mainly because my ribcage grew that much. I don't know why, but my ribs never went back after being stretched out. So I'm glad my hips changed since that balances out my top half. ;)</p> <p>This is an encouraging thread with input from women of all ages and experiences, and I think Taylor said it amazingly. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-85011 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 20:10:46 +0000 Debora 85011@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>RoseandJoan, welcome to the forum! I have really enjoyed your thought provoking posts. What started out as a style-related question has really gotten us thinking about the physical and emotional challenges of new motherhood. I really love a good discussion and it's so gratifying to hear others' experiences. Taylor is right, the challenges are many, but the rewards are great and we do eventually get our mojo back. I think you are right on track, RoseandJoan!</p> <p>Shiny, your comment is so timely. I have been thinking lately about how much I am enjoying my teenager. He is so bright and so funny. It is wonderful to see the beginnings of the adult he will become. It was the same with my daughter. These are wonderful years.</p> <p>Laura, your last comment brought tears to my eyes. It's as if the words were coming out of my own father's mouth. That's exactly what he would have said. You are right when you say enjoy your children at every stage of life. That really is the key to it all. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-84947 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 15:20:12 +0000 Laura 84947@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's so wonderful to have women on YLF of all ages and in all stages of life. I learn so much!! Shiny, I couldn't agree more about teenagers. I have always loved being around teenagers. They are so smart and inquisitive and serious about pondering the big questions of life. I love it!</p> <p>As my dad says, "we enjoyed you at every age." That's key ... whatever their age or your stage in life, enjoy your children. Even with only 8 years of motherhood under my (now expanded) belt, I can say that it goes too fast, too fast! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-84942 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 15:03:01 +0000 shiny 84942@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>How many moms here never felt more beautiful, than when they were pregnant? That's how I felt! For one thing, I loved the fact I didn't have to suck my gut in all the time. :-)</p> <p>I also want to add that it's important to remember that this stage of life is only temporary. Yes, your body changes permanently. BUT, children grow up so fast! When they are young it feels like this lifestyle change is permanent, but it's not. It flies by - just you wait and see. By the time your kids are teens, you get much of your old life back again. You have more freedom, the kids aren't clinging to you, you can trust them on their own in the house for a few hours, *and* they even might help around the house! </p> <p>Just last night my DD16 and I were talking and the reality for me is that this (the teenage years) is my favorite stage so far. I don't know why people complain and dread this stage. I think having teenagers, while it does have its challenges and worries, is just soooo much fun. Babies and toddlers are cute and all, and its fascinating to watch them grow and learn... but teenagers - learning to drive, learning to date, thinking about college - are ever more fascinating to me! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-84941 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 14:47:36 +0000 shiny 84941@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My "babies" are now 15 and 16. Before I got pregnant with DD16, I had a major weight problem. The pregnancy only made it worse. But, breastfeeding for about a year - while also fitness walking an hour everyday and eating healthy (NOT restricting calories) - got me back down to my wedding weight. I used to tell everyone "breastfeeding is the best diet in the world." LOL. </p> <p>Then I got pregnant with DD15. After she was born, it took less than a year of breastfeeding to bounce back. Plus I started weight training and running. So by her first birthday I was leaner and fitter than I had ever been in my life. </p> <p>However it is very true my body shape changed, particularly my chest (went from an A to a B, nearly C), and my stomach and waist. I'd never had a washboard stomach in my life anyway, but pregnancy, because I'm so short, did a number on the muscles and the skin that only surgery would fix and I'm not about to do that. </p> <p>On the fashion mojo front, I was quite a fright during those days when the kids were babies and toddlers!!! If I wasn't lounging around in ugly pastel sweat pants with spit-up all over it, or just wearing XL tee shirts and bike shorts, I was wearing full-on "gear" because I was committed to exercising every day. We also didn't have a lot of money to spend for my clothes - I would've felt horribly guilty buying myself a nice outfit I might only wear a few times a year, or ruin on the playground, so I just made do and wore stuff well past the fashion expiration date - and also stuff just plain too big. I am happy to be able to indulge now. </p> <p>I look at all you YLF MOTG with great envy!! I never had even a smidgen of your style back then. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-84931 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 13:28:00 +0000 anne 84931@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>P S Congrats to your daughter Taylor! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-84930 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 13:24:44 +0000 anne 84930@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am not sure I really had style mojo to begin with. But with that caveat, here is my story.<br /> In terms of getting the body back and losing the weight. It took me 6 months ( all but 2 pounds by 5) with the first baby and no conscious effort ( but I walked a lot; we only had 1 car). With the second it took 9 1/2 months and the third 12 1/2 months. (However I put on less and less with each pregnancy - only about 25 pounds the last time) After all of them I had a brief period when I went under my pre-pregnancy weight.</p> <p>While my bust and hips are similar, my waist hasn't quite recovered and is 2 to 3 inches bigger than before the first child. While some of that would be stretching, some is back fat that I haven't lost, and don't know if I could.</p> <p>In terms of clothing I can relate to those who mentioned the motivation of being back in work. With my first, I returned to work (part time) when she was 7 months old and just went back to wearing my old work clothes (I splurged on my first ever wool suit too. My DH brought my daughter into work to see me and she vomited on it!) Also working in the city meant I could still do window shopping on my lunch break, though this changed when I moved jobs.</p> <p>It is in the area of casual clothing I have had to adjust, and still am. I had so little to wear I bought my first pair of shorts, bought a cotton skirt. As Brianna said, one needs to change your own clothes so much more. Now I have 3 pairs of good jeans, instead of 1 and lots of jumpers (sweaters). Shopping is a lot harder to get time for.</p> <p>I haven't worked much outside the home since my second child was born and joined YLF forum soon after the third came along last year. It has been helpful in working out how to dress as a MOTG and I feel like I have some good basics (like the jeans, and a denim knee length skirt and 2 new pairs of boots and new glasses). That said I have a way to go, and tend to neglect things like haircuts, accessories and makeup.</p> <p>I find the commitment of having 3 kids (my daughters are aged 6, 3 1/2 and 19 mo) quite taxing physically and emotionally and there is no way style is anywhere near a top priority (nor should it be). But they are lovely girls and there are beautiful moments. I have been alternating tidying up with writing this post and found a picture my oldest did titled "This is my Mummys Butvfl fas" (beautiful face) How precious is that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-84925 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 11:07:34 +0000 Laura 84925@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, Rose, that was so sweet. This time when they are young is so precious.</p> <p>Marianne, I thought the same thing about Brianna's cashmere. Don't give it all up! Soon enough you'll want it back. The earrings and necklace pulling doesn't last forever, either. Besides, I hand wash my cashmere. In a way it's more practical than other knits!</p> <p>Taylor, you are so right. We women are tough. And that goes way beyond having children. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-84913 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 10:18:36 +0000 RoseandJoan 84913@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for your comments ladies.</p> <p>I was thinking aboout this last night and have come to the following conclusions.</p> <p>With regards to a new self, I do not believe I have changed that much. I am incredibly busy with Teah (two on Tuesday) and Emmy six months and my priorities have certainly changed, however, I still hold the same beliefs, have the same friends, I like the same music and films. I guess I have less time for them now which makes me appreciate them even more when the time arises.</p> <p>I have been blessed with two healthy happy children and a supportive husband.</p> <p>Style wise I have found T shirt dresses fantastic, they require minimal fuss in the morning. I wear mine with ballet flats and I am able to push 50 pounds of babies and pushchair around comfortably all day.</p> <p>Having said that I know some women who have woken up one morning and do not recognise themselves anymore, because they are so far removed from there old lives.</p> <p>I hope my ramblings make some sense.</p> <p>I have Emmy on my knee and Teah playing with crayons at my feet and I would not change it for the world.</p> <p>Thanks again for your posts </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/finding-your-mojo-after-having-a-baby#post-84892 Sat, 08 Aug 2009 05:20:28 +0000 marianne 84892@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Brianna, please don't get rid of ALL your cashmere sweaters - the spitting up will be over soon. And she also will not want to be in the carrier all the time when she gets a little older. At least keep the ones that you can layer! </p>