YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Figuring out me... long!

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Figuring out me... long! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 20 Apr 2026 11:48:10 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Jaime on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long/page/2#post-1273293 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 03:35:58 +0000 Jaime 1273293@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ok, after coffee and I am back trying to figure this out. I think the problem may be that bold, modern, and graphic are accurate but not specific enough. I looked again at your outfits and noticed that the ones I particularly like have a certain proportion - with something going on at a point on your high hip that lengthens your (already long) leg line even with rolled up jeans. Out of your work outfits I prefer the ones with pants and I don't think it is because you can't wear skirts/dresses, I think it has to do with the length you are wearing. Do you have any pictures with dresses at knee length or longer? (You have great legs, that's not the issue.) Some ideas to play with (even rejecting ideas helps refine your own thoughts, right?): Forward pointed. Does that mean anything? I think the skirt length, although classic and certainly not dated, is backward looking right now.  Classic proportions. Maybe the outfits you like and don't like relate to the golden ratio? Bold contrasts. A lot of the bold comes from the color contrasts and I think it suits you well. Elegant. Classic shapes and proportions to rein in the bold contrasts. Nothing jarring. Whatever that means! Thanks for letting me analyze you Elizabeth - I have been trying to figure myself out too and this is really helpful! Beth Ann on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long/page/2#post-1273281 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 03:22:02 +0000 Beth Ann 1273281@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You have absolutely made huge strides in the past year.  The most dramatic changes come in your silhouettes and your hair -- both are amazing.  You've also become a much more consistent dresser, with a distinct personal style. I agree with the others --- allow polished to refer to your manners, and always keep a bit of edge and boldness in your classic! I love the fluid tops on you, as well as structured jackets and shaped toppers with some visual weight (motos, for example).  The elements that are trickiest are items that are squared off without structure (18/21) or not enough body in the more bodycon fabrics --- I think a heavier weight ponte dress would skim more than cling --- I know this first hand! Caro in Oz on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1273226 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 02:24:02 +0000 Caro in Oz 1273226@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ With Angie's help :) Angie is the best at this - she taught me there is classic & there is modern classic. If you look at Angie's outfits you see classic items that are taken to a new level. To quote the expert: "The trick to keeping the classics looking modern and fresh is to<a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/2012/10/24/the-true-longevity-of-timeless-items/"> update their silhouettes</a>, wear them with trendy/arty/avant-garde pieces, and in non-neutrals. You don’t need to satisfy all three criteria at once, but it’s certainly a possibility." Taken from here: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/2013/06/07/the-power-of-classic-items-in-modern-style/">http://youlookfab.com/2013/06/.....ern-style/</a> Elizabeth P on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1273205 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 02:01:05 +0000 Elizabeth P 1273205@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shevia, I hope you have a productive cup of coffee :)  And I love the word "frippery". Interesting to note... everyone, including me, love 3,4,5.  These are casual outfits, with denim.  Nobody is loving my work outfits.  Which brings me full circle to one of my issues, and why I hope some nailing down of descriptors (or whatever) will help me. I feel I can do casual (BF jeans have been huge for me), but how the heck do I get the same feel into my work outfits?  Sigh.  Jaime on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1273193 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 01:49:39 +0000 Jaime 1273193@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh this is so fun! Ok so I peeked at the pictures first and immediately thought the first 5 and especially 4 and 5 are exactly examples of what Suz said about your style skyrocketing. So I was delighted to read that you feel the same way Elizabeth.  Your haircut and color change is a game changer for you. You look fabulous in high contrast black and white. You don't like a lot of frippery.  I love #5 but I am going to venture and say #3 and #4 should be your standard and all other outfits and pieces should measure up to it or go. Now I am going to put all of this and the comments in my coffee cup and drink it and see if any descriptors emerge.  Elizabeth P on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1273140 Mon, 09 Jun 2014 01:01:33 +0000 Elizabeth P 1273140@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ kkards... refined.... yes, that probably IS a better word.  At least, I think feel more comfortable being refined than polished.  Gigi and Caro, thank you for your input as well - great observations, more to think about!  I agree totally with you Caro that my hair is probably skewing things.  I think that's one of the reasons I wanted to discuss this now - I know my style will change with the new hair, plus it's a new season, so it's been on my mind.  Caro in Oz on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1273092 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 23:46:08 +0000 Caro in Oz 1273092@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Without reading the other comments: Simple is the first word I think of - the more simple the outfits the better I like them on you. Modern is next  - less classic & more modern also works better imo. #3 is my favourite outfit - simple, modern & polished with a hint of drama/edge (the jacket). I also love #4.  Now I've read the other comments & agree completely with Gaylene - I choose two or three silhouettes per season & find it works for me. I've also found for me keeping the phrase "womanly androgyny" in mind is really helpful. I know it is a contradiction, but it works for me. I need to bring those disparate elements together before something feels like me. It's interesting that you feel best in #5 - it looks great but I notice the clothes first & not you. This is just what I see, so trust your own instincts I'd also like to see these outfits with your new hair - I think it makes such a big difference it probably is skewing the results. Gigi on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1273065 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 23:11:15 +0000 Gigi 1273065@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I haven't read all the responses, and I'm not great at style analysis, but I will just say that the outfits you said were the most "you" (in response to Suz's question) looked like they were incorporating elements that were androgynous or urban. I will also say that with regard to terms like "classic," it may help to remember that there is a spectrum of how classic, etc., you can get. I would not necessarily call myself a classic dresser, but I do incorporate a lot of classic elements so that my outfit is still coherent (at least to me). You may be able to call it something like "just classic enough." kkards on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1273027 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 22:46:14 +0000 kkards 1273027@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ i read this earlier today, and wanted to think about it before i commented.   first, runclara said exactly what i was thinking re: earthly. i'm not sure how boho and earthy got so associated; but i think earthy is a state of mind, not a state of dress. second, i can see why you used the word polished, but i think refined is a better word.  from merriam-webster refined: : free of unwanted substance : improved to be more precise or exact looking at what you posted, you have distilled your style to what suits you and picked out the pieces that work with you and for you.  yes, you have some classic elements, but you have cultivated your style to include other pieces that completely function together and give you a look that is you.  Aida on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272974 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 21:31:31 +0000 Aida 1272974@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I see what Denise does, that you seem to be drawn to adding in more trends but keeping those classic pieces which are often necessary for grounding the trendier items. And to me that's present in looking at the two that you felt best in. The classic doesn't have to come from clothing items either, it can come in the form of footwear, purses, or other accessories. Carla on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272937 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 20:18:58 +0000 Carla 1272937@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Elizabeth, don 't feel like you need to respond to each of my posts on your thread. I keep coming back, because I feel like it is such a relevant topic, to me, at this time. I am a classic dresser, with a side order of sporty. That is my love of body con and comfort coming through. BUT, the idea of classic as a foundation for a wardrobe collection by choice vs what is safe, or because options are limited ( by body type, or what is available at retail, or whatever) is a really interesting question. I think you are asking all the right questions, and helping me and other folks with our style journeys, by articulating them here. Alassë on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272935 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 20:17:58 +0000 Alassë 1272935@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Please do, Cerinda. We'd love to help you! Cerinda on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272921 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 20:03:13 +0000 Cerinda 1272921@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Elizabeth, your first two paragraphs so aptly characterize my predicament!  So, thanks for the encouragement.  I'm almost feeling bold enough to post some photos and solicit some advice now... And oh, what wisdom in the above posts! Elizabeth P on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272920 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 20:01:27 +0000 Elizabeth P 1272920@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Gosh, come back from the grocery store and look what awaits!  This may take some time and thought to address.  But I want to, so apologies in advance for either a long post, or multiple posts. Gaylene, you are welcome to comment on any of my threads as well.  You may not post pics, but your comments are so well thought out, and your experiences are worth sharing.  I'm VERY happy you jumped in on this one!  I think your approach is a great one to think about persuing.  I still want a few descriptors to get the siloutte's "me", but starting with flattering proportions rather than words might make it easier to get things right, quicker. I agree Suz, and Runcaria, that down to earth and earthy are not necessarily the same things.  I think of myself as down to earth, in the practical, no-nonsense sense of the word.  Not the boho sense of the word. I agree that classic is a bit of a backbone for me, and I also question if this is because, as Suz said, options are limited... or whether it's because I've spent my life trying to dress in a "safe" way.  Up until a couple of years ago, my clothes really were boring. Dress pants, sweater, done.  Very little shopping.  But I've always liked shoes :).  So this could be me, or it could be a habit.  I suspect Suz, Denise and nancymarie are correct that it's inherently there, but I don't want too much of it.  I can't possibly digest and comment on everything you wonderful ladies have written here in a timely fashion, so Suz, Denise, nancymarie, Vix, Runcaria, Gaylene, can I just say THANK YOU, I will re-read this several times, and see how much sense of it I can make in terms of my personal style journey.  You've really been great taking the time to put serious thought into what you said. Alassë on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272916 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 19:52:45 +0000 Alassë 1272916@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Mine too, Gaylene! I love to read your musings. SarahTheWhite on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272913 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 19:43:36 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1272913@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ First of all, thank you so much for this post! I enjoyed getting to know you better. Sometimes trying to put words to style is really hard. Have you tried first putting words to your personality? I found that helped me. Sometimes the same description of who we are a person works for what our style is. I have also found that contradictory things can make a person more interesting - like your earthy and polished. They can temper each other, and make you unique! I looked at all of your photos, all the while repeating your words in my head. They matched up perfectly... Until I got to the ones that were your least favorites. I can't analyze why exactly they were not completely cohesive with the other looks, but I did mentally change out certian items with things from your other looks and wonder if that might help to use most of the things in a different way? This is what I kind of thought would be cool: #17 - Substitute the top from pic 9 #18 - Take off the vest and semi tuck the top #19 - Exchange the shoes for the ones in pic 3 #20 - Love these pants!! Would love to see them with the top and shoes from pic 3 # 21 - Switch out the white topper for the fuschia jacket in pic 9, or just go all black. Over all, I really love your look! You do have a polished style, but I don't see it as trying too hard or pretentious at all! It does seem well grounded - like you are up for anything, walking around, having fun, and being comfortable. All the while looking very lovely! Carla on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272900 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 19:07:44 +0000 Carla 1272900@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Gaylene, you can comment on by WIW or style threads anytime! Suz on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272895 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 18:53:48 +0000 Suz 1272895@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Jumping up and down cheering because Gaylene is back to commenting more widely!!! :)  Gaylene on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272886 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 18:36:47 +0000 Gaylene 1272886@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ OK, because I don't post pics, I vowed not to comment on style threads, but your remarks hit a nerve because I could have written your opening almost word-for-word a couple of years ago. Words and labels are slippery things, especially ones like "classic", "polished", "practical" and "easy" when applied to someone's outfit. The labels that various forum members have made up for themselves like Suz's Urban Prince seem to work better because the term gets linked to their distinctive look. My lightbulb moment came from reading another blog which suggested finding two or three current silhouettes that interest me right now: for example--asymmetrical top/narrow pant, cropped top/midi skirt, flared dress, draped top/boy friend-style bottom, fluid top/shorts--basically shapes or silhouettes that I could see myself wearing happily and which fit my lifestyle and environment. I then sorted through Angie's suggestions and capsules for ideas and variations on the silhouettes I'd chosen and culled my closet with the silhouettes in mind. I also kept the silhouettes in mind whenever I shopped. Using two or three silhouettes as a starting point has worked much better for me than using those slippery labels. I'd say that my current wardrobe is far more cohesive than any time in the past, and it's easier to shop and get dressed now that I know my goal. And, if I get bored, I'll just start looking for a new silhouette that grabs me and retire the one that has fallen out of favor. Suz on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272883 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 18:25:56 +0000 Suz 1272883@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh - meant to add. You weren't really dressing "classic" at all when you began here....more eclectic, really. So that might be a direction you miss? Or a direction you want to avoid....while still keeping a few aspects? I think of Deborah (Australia) as having done this in her move toward avant garde.  Suz on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272881 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 18:24:14 +0000 Suz 1272881@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Pssst. Listen to Denise. She is so smart!!! :)  I also agree wholeheartedly with Vix that you must hang onto "bold" whatever else you do and wherever else you go. It seems absolutely integral to your looks from the beginning of your time here on.  You and I definitely have some style similarities. Part of it has to do with our shopping options, no doubt! We have to rely on places like BR for a lot of our staples. But I also think we are alike in making classics the backbone of our wardrobes....yet wishing for a little something else, as well. In your case it might be edgy. In my case, "modern minimal."  Either way, what we both fear (and sometimes succumb to) is straight classic.  For both of us, I think modern and even trendy pieces woven into our outfits become key to keeping us happy and engaged and to feeling like ourselves. I have to get this "modern" or "trendy" from the cut of my clothes and maybe occasionally from colours.  For you, it might come from accessories or colour as well as cut -- I am not sure.  nancywalters on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272871 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 18:07:06 +0000 nancywalters 1272871@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I would describe your style as casual and comfortable or another descriptor would be classic with a twist.  I would certainly love to wear any of those outfits.  I love your style. CocoLion on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272867 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 17:56:33 +0000 CocoLion 1272867@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Elizabeth -- first of all I think you look great in all of these outfits.  I would want to come up and chat fashion with you if I ran into you in a public place!  The outfits you said you like the best - 4 and 5 -- have two qualities.  5 feels the most trend-directed to me.  So I interpret that as you wanting to explore new trends and silhouettes; and that is where you might want to focus your attention rather than falling back on classic formulas.  #4 OTOH is classic so you have these two sides you feel express you.  I think that's fine.  I was just saying on Suz's garden party thread that I wear classic a lot too.  Classic is so suitable when dealing with the public.  It doesn't call attention to ourselves, it's sort of neat and neutral.  I definitely think you can have two disparate style personas depending on the time/place/event. Vix on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272856 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 17:43:29 +0000 Vix 1272856@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi again Elizabeth -- Glad my .02 is adding to the stew. Make sure bold or something that conveys that (assured, strong, dynamic, confident) stays in the list or makes the leap to the summary statement you want, please? Bold is definitely the thread that seems to run through all your outfits and covers the graphic element too. ;) You might want to explore words that get at where you fall on the minimal to maximal spectrum, too. Seems to me like you're more minimal with overall looks -- limited colors; 1-2 color prints; fewer vs more accessories -- but you may have a different take on it. It seems like you're so close to organizing the pieces in a way that will make sense to you but having BTDT with my style stuff as well as other projects, I know how frustrating it can be. One thing I did that helped was analyze my favorites/"unfavorites" on myself and others and realize: <ul> <li> too much classic feels wrong to me</li> <li> too much boho feels wrong to me</li> <li> too much “muchness” feels wrong to me</li> </ul> Which led me to see that overall I like to mix classic with shiny things, classic with color, and classic with boho. Obviously too much classic feels wrong to you, as well, but you're drawn to using modern classics as staples. So if you can figure out WHAT/WHERE you  want to set your boundaries with the styles you're drawn to that might help. Maybe "easy" is your starting point? Or edgy? So you like to mix easy with [BLANK...bold? edgy? the unexpected? tough? high energy? trendy?] ...mix edgy with [BLANK...easy? classic? color?]  You get the idea!  Suz on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272853 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 17:34:11 +0000 Suz 1272853@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Runcarla makes a great point about "down to earth," I think. I am sometimes described by people who know me as down to earth. But not earthy. Maybe boho and/or earthy colours evoke "earthy" more than down to earth. Down to earth is practical and not fussy. Down to earth doesn't stand on ceremony.  Vix raises interesting distinctions here! I am not sure I agree that "easy" and "polished' can't go together. They are in tension, for sure. One of Adelfa's "contradictions" in her "working the contradictions" thread.  I think my garden party outfit from yesterday was both "easy" and "polished."  I'm less sure about edgy and polished, probably because I have less experience of it. Edgy is not one of my style descriptors. I used to wish it could be (just like I used to wish for some boho). But that is subject for another post.  Elizabeth P on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272837 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 16:59:46 +0000 Elizabeth P 1272837@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wow, another very thoughtful response.  Thanks so much Vix.  So we have on the "yay" side:  (Trying to sort them out a bit as well) modern easy, (comfortable) edgy deliberate, (intentional, purposeful) practical, (no nonsense, appropriate) (Hey, my initials are EDP, maybe I can work this like Beth Ann did with her SING! ) Does this seem to work??? Vix on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272805 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 16:10:05 +0000 Vix 1272805@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi ElizabethP -- I read your post, wandered off to do a few things and was thinking I'd come back with a long analysis. Came back, re-read your OP and realized my musings had centered around one word: polished. Your other descriptors seem very in tune with what you want to present and who you are. IMO -- and hey, I work in the world of nuances -- polished contradicts edgy and easy even though it works with bold. Edgy and easy create a sense that the person/clothing *can* embrace the unexpected, the spontaneous, the casual-to-messy, the relaxed. <ul> <li>EASY may very well take her shoes off or loosen a belt when sitting around with friends after dinner, won't freak out when the red wine hits the white upholstery, runs out the door minus makeup when a crazy-busy day looms, gets messy when doing something she loves (cooking, outdoor activities, canoodling).</li> </ul> <ul> <li>EGDY doesn't shy away from provocative topics or ensembles, isn't afraid of the jolie laide (beautiful-ugly) phenon in items/art/music, enjoys pushing boundaries or seeing others push them, seeks a certain level of wildness and  chaos</li> </ul> Again, I see how bold plays with that, but not polished (controlled, contained, honed, perfected). I *do* see the outfits you like -- which look great on you, of course -- as being very intentional, very purposeful, deliberate. To me, words like that leave room for easy and edgy. Maybe that word or something like it can convey "put together" without the baggage that polished carries? Elizabeth P on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272802 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 16:03:18 +0000 Elizabeth P 1272802@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Good points Runcaria!  "Down to earth' is about comfort and appropriateness of outfit to occasion".  I like this.  And keeping this in mind might help me deal with my inner conflict of polished vs down to earth. Carla on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272794 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 15:36:54 +0000 Carla 1272794@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ There are ways of being 'down to earth' other than dressing with a bohemian vibe or in earthy colours. My brothers refer to me as 'earth muffin' (gotta' love 'em) because I am 'down to earth'. I work f/ t, but I do outdoor sports, garden, and love many aspects of raising a family and home making-especially cooking. I make bread from scratch! My partner of 30+ years is a wildlife biologist! But.....I am most comfortable in a pencil skirt and heels! You can go to the farmer's market in white trousers and a Mariner T with great shoes and a fab bag or rolled BF's and vest layered over top, like Angie's most recent post and be polished AND totally appropriate AND comfortable, yet look polished and elegant. 'Down to earth' is about comfort and appropriateness of outfit to occasion. It might also be about being comfortable in your own skin. I think of 'down to earth' as also being about natural fibres, and a certain sensitivity to the provenance of the garment. I don't think that 'down to earth' is necessarily a 'style' like always being in gear or dressing boho or wearing brown and green! Elizabeth P on "Figuring out me... long!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figuring-out-me-long#post-1272792 Sun, 08 Jun 2014 15:34:38 +0000 Elizabeth P 1272792@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wow Suz, you really are good at this.  Which outfit felt most "me"?  I'd have to say #5, with #4 a close second.  Which makes me think it's probably more about the hair than the clothes!  But I DO love BF jeans, esp my new ones.  And I DO love that Target vest... the longer vertical lines are definitely my friend. OK, I also feel pretty darn good in #7.  That Joie sweater was a great purchase for me. So what is this saying?  Longer tops, simple lines, simple colours.... I want to love #20, but I don't feel it's that flattering to me. I also went back and took a look at my early posts, a year ago. (OMG, My HAIR!!)   I'm still wearing many of the same items.  I think I did accessorize a bit more, perhaps giving me that arty look you mentioned.  i don't see boho, but maybe my thoughts on boho are earthy colours.  This may be where the "trying too hard" comes in, and I've backed off that a bit.  Very interesting comments on me vs my environment.  I work in a fairly casual environment, primarily with men.  OK, this is long enough.  And a bit rambling as I process.  I should do that alone without a keyboard   Thanks Suz!!