https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 18 May 2026 15:42:02 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808928 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 20:59:34 +0000 Lauren 808928@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Figure flattery for me is the number one priority when I am dressing myself. I try and find garments that show up my figure in a positive way and celebrate my body type rather than hide it or not do it justice. In fact, I started a blog about the way that I dress my less than average figure (i'm an extreme pearshape, hence the blog: thepearshape.com) because I felt like traditional fashion bloggers only blogged about trends rather than what looked good on them. That being said, on my blog I have a segment called Fashion Trend, Pearshape Solution where I take common trends (like harem pants or super short dresses) and tweak them to make them flattering for my figure. So, with that, I am willing to compromise because I do love fashion and want to be able to experience all of it.</p> <p>Just my two cents </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808803 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 18:22:49 +0000 Anonymous 808803@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Some very interesting observations and comments which I would like to take time to read carefully. But my quick response is that I dress to please myself and as JAileen said, I don't want to look chubby which is my measurement of figure flattery for myself. I care what others think but I don't care if I am attractive or attracting others, if that makes sense </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808791 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 18:09:31 +0000 JAileen 808791@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My priority is avoiding clothing that makes me look fat. This is very challenging since I am kind of chubby. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808771 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:53:40 +0000 CocoLion 808771@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like clothing that to others is unflattering (examples -- oversized garment, the R13 x-over jeans with a drop crotch and extra fabric in front). But to me, they are, in Angie's wise words, just flattering enough. I like the way unflattering clothes lead the eye to less conventional body parts. The R-13s emphasize my ankles and calves, for example, and you would not otherwise notice them if other body parts were not obfuscated.</p> <p>Angie wrote about this topic so eloquently:<br /> <a href="http://youlookfab.com/2012/03/15/the-flattering-versus-edgy-tradeoff/" rel="nofollow">http://youlookfab.com/2012/03/.....-tradeoff/</a></p> <p>"In my recent post about wearing volume on volume, I said that edgier outfits often forgo a little conventional flatter to be more daring, cool and different. The interesting question is, how far will you go to be edgy? "</p> <p>That is exactly the point: some will go much further to be edgy than others, so if<br /> 100% = total figure flattery<br /> I might be willing to go for<br /> 60% = figure flattery<br /> or even<br /> 20% = figure flattery; 80% not so flattering.</p> <p>As long as the 80% not so flattering is more "neutral" and not making me look downright worse than I am naked (as Traci wisely put it). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808636 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 15:57:35 +0000 Amy 808636@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Clothes can unflatter a figure...those of you with significant busts probably have had the "monoboob" experience. That's one unflattering thing I try to avoid at all costs, lol </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808627 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 15:47:10 +0000 Suz 808627@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Traci, that's an interesting observation, and I think it is probably true of a lot of women. I think women's curves can be ....I don't know....unflattered? by many clothes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808616 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 15:28:42 +0000 bj1111 808616@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>snap, traci! yes to looking better naked! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808531 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 12:54:30 +0000 Traci 808531@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Would it be completely splitting hairs for me to say that figure flattery is not a big priority for me, but avoiding flat out unflattering things is a priority? I don't mind if my figure isn't flattered, or if my body just looks how my body looks, but I don't care for looks that actually make my figure look worse than it really is. Is there such a thing as figure reality?</p> <p>&lt;overshare ahead!&gt;<br /> Sometimes I feel like I look better naked than I do in my clothes. It doesn't seem like that should be the case. I'd like to look atleast as good in my clothes as I do without them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808530 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 12:54:29 +0000 Raisin 808530@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I guess for me it depends on what it is and how I feel in it. I would say it does matter, but my idea of what's flattering may be different than others. For instance, I will wear some very oversized sweaters or shirts, which technically may not flatter my figure, or make the most of it anyway, but I'm comfortable in them, and I like the look on me a lot. I would probably not wear harem pants which would probably be technically as unflattering as the oversized shirt, but for me I would not be comfy and I would feel like I don't look great. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808511 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 11:34:18 +0000 rute 808511@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>for me it depends, if I'm going to a party or a meeting with old friends, I want to have a figure flattering outfit.<br /> For the daily life I actually prefer a chunky wool cardy or a looser kind of dress! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808480 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 08:31:14 +0000 Deborah 808480@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Figure flattery is paramount to me. Occasionally I will sacrifice a little figure flattery but the outfit as a whole must still be pleasing to my eye. In the case of your harem jeans, I find them unusual but not necessarily unflattering. Certainly on a conventional sense I suppose they are not flattering but body type plays a role here IMO. I have a tubby belly I like to hide so those jeans would look awful on me, on fact my body shape would probably distort how the pants should look (and I'm ok with that), but on you the jeans fit as they should. Figure flattery clearly means different thing to different people. For me clothing that distorts my shape or makes me look bigger is not what I consider figure flattering. These pants do neither to your body. I like them! And I love that dress:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808457 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 07:19:55 +0000 rae 808457@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like a lot of what Amy said - what is flattering and unflattering is highly subjective, for sure. There are some core ideals that probably bind most of us together... there's that whole golden ratio business, and most wouldn't want to distort our shapes to the point where the form looks disfigured or inhuman - but then there are still some who most certainly DO strive for a very distorted look. It would be absolutely no fun if we all wanted to look the same and strove for the same beauty ideal. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808449 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 06:53:42 +0000 Hil 808449@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a fascinating debate! Love it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808412 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 04:44:49 +0000 Jaime 808412@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I always find posts about figure flattery especially thought provoking and confusing. I dress in a way that looks good to me, which does include, for example, not emphasizing the shape of my abs after twins. But I like the look of harem jeans, and like Anna's outfits with them. And I wear drop crotch style pants, and I like them too. And I actually feel more uncomfortable wearing conventionally figure flattering clothes than I do wearing things that are much less mainstream and conventionally flattering. And I wonder what that is about. Then I wonder why it is so clear to others that they want to show off their shape. And then I get all confused again! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/3#post-808391 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 04:15:34 +0000 Anonymous 808391@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good stuff here Anna. I remember your comment on the other thread where you said you'd rather look interesting... and I thought, "Wow, she probably thinks my outfits are a total snooze-fest!" '</p> <p>So to answer your question, figure-flattery is a priority to me, but I think that is subjective in that *I* have to think it flatters me (or DH has to think so). I've had people comment that certain jeans are doing nothing for my rear view, but I'm not sensitive about my rear so I don't consider that unflattering. I tend to have one or two areas that really matter to me and I've found that if these look bad to my eye, then the outfit is a no-go. I wear pointy toed flats, which make my feet look like gunboats, but I don't care because they make my legs look longer without wearing heels, but I dislike other types of footwear that make my feet look large/heavy/ungainly in a different (but similar way). So I guess beauty--and ugly for that matter-- really is in the eye of the beholder. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808385 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 04:09:41 +0000 Ariadne 808385@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>In theory, it's not a priority for me at all. I adore out-there cuts, loose and drapey stuff, avant-garde, androgynous looks, etc. I drool over them, pin them, stalk them online, read blogs that show them, the works. But it seems like invariably, if I actually try them on or even worse, bring them home, I end up hating them on myself. I feel good, or at least OK, in conventionally figure-flattering stuff, though, so that's what I end up wearing even though it bores me. I cannot for the life of me figure out why this is (Am I just choosing the wrong clothes over and over? Do the looks just not translate to my body type in the way I want them to? DH hates them? I do not know. Well, I do know DH hates them, so that's part of it, but I'd wear them anyway if I could figure out the rest of it). </p> <p>I love the way you dress, Anna. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808276 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 02:13:23 +0000 Suz 808276@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is such a great discussion. I've thoroughly enjoyed hearing everyone's perspective. </p> <p> Does figure flattery matter to me? I've been pondering. And I honestly don't know. </p> <p>I think both your outfits (the jeans and the dress) are expressions of your highly intentional style -- albeit very different -- and I like them both on you. I might wear the dress. I love the halter style neckline, the colours, the slightly retro feel of it. I probably wouldn't wear the jeans, but more from a sense that I wouldn't like the *feel* of that extra fabric on me in that place than out of concerns about flattery. I'd wear pants in a different fabric with the extra fabric there, if you know what I mean. If it were more drapey -- like those wild crossover pants I tried on and loved but decided were too impractical with their stupid little tie up. </p> <p>So....when I look at others, do I prefer them to dress in ways that are conventionally figure flattering? No. Not really. I like to see people with a clear sense of their own style. That trumps all. </p> <p>For myself, I do care about not shortening my leg line because I'm sensitive about my short legs. But otherwise, I don't think it matters to me. And even then, if I really like a look I am willing to try it at the risk of a shortened leg. At least to see how it feels. In the end, for me, it's more about how I feel in the clothes, I think. </p> <p>Having said that, I prefer not to wear looks so unstructured that I am entirely swallowed up in them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808274 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 02:12:02 +0000 DonnaF 808274@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>For myself, I've always heavily skewed toward figure flattery because I never felt I was tall or thin enough to do otherwise. Lumpy and dumpy get a thumbs down from me. I've also passed on many an item of clothing because I felt it didn't fit properly. </p> <p>As to others? I don't like seeing ill-fitting garments on others, but if they fit but aren't traditionally flattering, it is fine with me. Umm, but I've told DD when I didn't think something was a 10 on her so she would recognize the difference.</p> <p>As to man-repelling/attracting clothing? I think most (80%?) of straight guys are pretty conventional in their taste. They don't understand fashion forward stuff or much of anything unusual, but are probably attracted to nicely tactile fabrications. I, personally, ignore this consideration but like flannel at night because I run cold.</p> <p>And as to you, Anna? I remind myself that you are quite fashion forward, and to let my eye grow accustomed to the look because I'll probably be seeing it all over in two years' time!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808234 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 01:33:08 +0000 K. Period. 808234@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anna, this is such a great discussion! For me, figure flattery is a priority. For how it looks on others? Well, I'm not entirely willing to say it has no importance to how I appreciate an outfit when I see it, it isn't nearly such a big priority. Whether something looks intentional or not is what clinches it for me. Intentional, with good fit where fit can be demonstrated (hem length, fitted waist, or items paired with it?) gets a huge okay from me. Your harem pants, for example. Where it looks thoughtless or sloppy, where it is not a conscious choice? No go. If it were food, I'd say it is good in the way that bitterness in a beer or coffee can be lovely or saltiness with sweetness. Or that just right almost burnt that you get with great croissants. It is the intentional conflict that delights, the dance on the edge. That's when figure flattery doesn't matter. </p> <p>Also, a little off topic, but I have to throw in with Moira here that I too look at certain trends and sadly shake my heads. I was walking behind a gaggle of teens with my bff in the early '00s and she commented on the challenge of ultra low cut jeans. I agreed--all I could think was how sad it was that these girls were probably at what they would later consider the pinnacle of their personal attractiveness (and boy of boy do I know that is a load of it and says a lot about our misguided society), and yet they were wearing jeans that made their lovely rears look flat and dumpy. What a loss! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808227 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 01:21:40 +0000 rachylou 808227@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@RoseandJoan - You know, I think I have indeed always felt the same. Maybe it's because I grew up with a lot of hippie stuff. Free to be you and me, body beautiful, content of your character, etc. etc. Or maybe it's because I'm nearsighted. Lol. It's probably that. </p> <p>Anyways, when I think about physique I don't come up with anything. I don't feel a need to show off, tweak, hide, or enhance me or anybody else. I don't yearn to stand next to the hot guy - who I wouldn't be able to identify by myself in the first place.</p> <p>Although, I suppose if you hit me over the head, I will get it. I knew this Ralph Lauren model once. He was so good looking, I had to leave the room and laugh the first time I saw him. Of course, sadly it's true, looks like that peak sharp. Five years and he wasn't hilariously good looking anymore. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808202 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 00:47:06 +0000 moira 808202@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maybe from my advanced age I can see this from a different perspective.<br /> I look at young men with a gorgeous head of hair and they shave it.<br /> They have tight young bodies and wear ridiculous pants that show nothing.</p> <p>I think to myself "when you are older, and your hair is thinning and you have to wear your pants below that huge belly you will look back and wonder why you chose not to appreciate the assets that you had?"</p> <p>I was a modest dresser as a young woman, but I did want to show myself to my best advantage. I still try for that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808187 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 00:31:17 +0000 Anonymous 808187@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love the dress Anna! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808177 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 00:14:52 +0000 Anonymous 808177@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, I've read so many replies I almost forgot the question. Is figure flattery a priority for me? Absolutely. Backstory: in my twenties I was a slim hourglass. Then I got married and gained a lot of weight. A LOT of weight. I hated the way I looked and didn't find any joy in clothes. Then I managed to lose all the weight and like the way I looked again. Note I hated the way I looked, not myself ( I just wanted that to be clear). So now, when I look in the mirror I am happier with my figure and like to wear clothes that flatter it. I don't want to look as heavy as I was before and I do like the look of my top half balanced with the bottom. </p> <p>But if you love the jeans, that's all that matters. Some people (including my mother) dislike my dreadlocks. They don't express the ideals of traditional (American) beauty. That's fine with me. It's my hair and I think it works for me. And I do suspect some people dislike my hair because it reflects a refusal to get on board with the masses. My clothes, however, are pretty conservative and I enjoy the juxtaposition. </p> <p>I admire you wearing those jeans, just as I admire Angie wearing her jodhpurs. Would I wear either pair? Nope, they are waaaaay to far out of my comfort zone. But it does encourage me to try something a little different than I normally would. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808174 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 00:12:05 +0000 rachylou 808174@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anna! We don't like that dress? It's knockout! And figure flattering! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808147 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 23:36:43 +0000 Lulu 808147@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What an interesting discussion! Will throw in my 2 cents: anna, love you in the dress you just posted! The harem pants, not so much. That has to do with my style preferences, and nothing to do with the issue of figure flattering though. It wouldn't matter if beyonce wore the pants, i still wouldn't like them personally speaking.</p> <p>The important point, which you've already made yourself, is that you dress the way you want, and you've made a conscious decision to do so. In deciding to be fashion forward, you have made the decision to sacrifice figure flattering and a more conventional style. It also sounds like you understand that there is a trade-off that you are willing to accept, which is that members of the opposite sex won't necessarily find the appeal in your style, as the majority of men do prefer a "feminine" style of dressing. my guess is that "feminine" and "figure flattering" are mutually exclusive, so we've come full circle! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808139 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 23:31:55 +0000 D'Ellen 808139@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anna, to answer your original question - figure flattery is definitely not a priority for me. I will happily shorten my leg line, surrender my (almost non-existent) waist, broaden my (already broad) shoulders, etc. in garments that I find appealing. I like wearing clothes that I *feel* good in and that I find pleasing in terms of design, color and fabrication. I think I would miss out on a lot of fab things if I only considered figure flattery. How boring - and stressful - that would be! </p> <p>The one body part I will not compromise on is my pot-belly...it must be hidden, always! And maybe I'll get over that someday. : ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808134 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 23:27:54 +0000 Gaylene 808134@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think both the jeans and the dress are show stoppers and require confidence--just different kinds--to pull them off. Neither garment will let you blend into the background. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808125 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 23:19:26 +0000 Caro in Oz 808125@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think there are two questions here.</p> <p>1. Do we dress for ourselves or others (real or imagined). What would you wear if no-one could see you? If it isn't the same as what you wear now then some part of you must be dressing for "others".<br /> or<br /> 2. Do we want our bodies to look the best they can at the expense of anything else (including comfort, practicality).</p> <p>I think most of us fall somewhere in between the extremes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808111 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 23:03:17 +0000 MsMary 808111@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I LOVE that dress!</p> <p>*swoon* </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/figure-flattery-as-a-priority-or-not/page/2#post-808105 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 22:57:09 +0000 annagybe 808105@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think Amy said it better than I could ever articulate. My writing skills have definitely degraded.<br /> I do find it interesting when I wear truly body con I also get resistance from the forum. Eg this dress. </p>