YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Feeling worthless

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Feeling worthless https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 26 Apr 2026 02:02:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Anonymous on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless/page/2#post-1350615 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 23:55:39 +0000 Anonymous 1350615@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Big hugs, BM! Because of my religious convictions, I believe very strongly that everyone is precious and so valuable! It doesn't hinge on what you can "do" at all, but it's just by virtue of being created by God (we all have intrinsic worth). You are not a worthless human being, even if you have no energy to do anything for others. I hope you can get some help, and come out from under this dark cloud. I watched a TED talk once, by Brenee Brown, I think. Or it could have been by someone else. Maybe I even heard about it here, I can't remember. But the gist of it was, the difference between people who were happy and well-adjusted and the ones who weren't-- boiled down to one thing in the research. The former believed that they deserved to be loved, and the latter did not. I can't comment on the accuracy of that, but it resonated with me. Eliza on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless/page/2#post-1350351 Mon, 08 Sep 2014 18:34:47 +0000 Eliza 1350351@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thinking of you, biscuitmom.  So much support and so many caring ideas here.  You are valued and respected.  Hard to speak to broader context, but if you have a small bit of energy and could plug in to a small, regular commitment where you contribute to something that matters,  it can help. We all need to be appreciated and most have some experience with not feeling known or like we matter.   Good for you for speaking out.  Part of you knows there is value there, whether others seem to be seeing it right now or not.  I believe our value exists independent of others seeing it, despite how meaningful it is when people do notice. I hope there is a way to connect with support that will make a difference for you.  Perhaps contact local agencies or clergy to see who they refer to when there are insurance inadequacies.  There may be ways to access the care you deserve that aren't immediately apparent.  All my best.    LAR101 on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless/page/2#post-1348636 Sat, 06 Sep 2014 17:17:00 +0000 LAR101 1348636@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ BM,  I am so glad to see your expression of appreciation here.  I didn't have any advice but I did want to check in on you.  Hearing you express appreciation in this dark cloud you are experiencing, must mean you are also able to experience streaks of love and caring.  It makes me happy to hear this.  Don't be afraid the get the help you need.  Hugs!! I wish I could just make this all better for you. biscuitsmom on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless/page/2#post-1348055 Fri, 05 Sep 2014 19:33:04 +0000 biscuitsmom 1348055@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Words fail me....I am just so grateful for all the wise advice, outpours of support, kindness, warmth you've all shown. I appreciate it so very much I want to respond individually ASAP, but probably cant get back here till Monday, but I will try and absorb all of this and be back soon ((((giant hug)))) Tessitura on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless/page/2#post-1347190 Thu, 04 Sep 2014 17:31:42 +0000 Tessitura 1347190@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, BiscuitsMom... my heart breaks for you.  I've been exactly where you are, emotionally, and I can tell you now that you don't need to feel that way.  But while it's easy for me to say that, I know from experience that those feelings of unworthiness can feel like a horrible dark place you can't escape from.  I don't know you very well, but the way you describe your friends, and the way other commenters have referred to your family, suggests to me that you haven't had a lot of experience being respected and cherished by others.  My understanding is that when this happens to us, we can imprint off those behaviors, and we learn to abuse ourselves, too.  Feelings of unworthiness are a form of self-abuse that we do because we've been convinced that something bad will happen if we stop.  We're convinced on such a deep level that we believe we can't help feeling that way... and at first, it's true!  I have a couple suggestions for you.  First, from the comments, it's clear that you loved your beloved dog very much.  I’m sure you would not judge your dog as harshly as you judge yourself!  There’s an exercise that was one of the very first things that helped me overcome these feelings.  First, find a small mirror, and a comfortable place to sit.  Close your eyes and remember your love and approval for your dog… summon those feelings as strongly as you can!  Then bring the mirror up to your face and open your eyes, and try to continue to feel that love and approval toward the person in the mirror… yourself!  Can you do it?  The first several times, I couldn’t!  But I kept trying, and over time, it became much easier, just as I believe it could for you.  Sometimes, we have to trick ourselves into feeling healthy emotions, and that’s okay… it takes practice to learn to love ourselves.  The second thing that comes to mind is a book that I love very much, titled “<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal/dp/1878424319" rel="nofollow">The Four Agreements</a>”.  The book helped me understand what had happened to cause me to despise myself so very much, and how to overcome the sense of hopelessness in my life.  I highly recommend it.  If you’d like to talk more, please feel free to message me.  I have spent far too many years of my life enslaved by feelings like these, and I would like to help another sufferer escape this prison.  texstyle on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless/page/2#post-1347058 Thu, 04 Sep 2014 14:42:04 +0000 texstyle 1347058@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I agree that you should seek assistance (free assistance) in whatever form you can. I can't say enough about self help books as I myself used them extensively when I was younger and trying to figure out my personal issues.  Most of them I read at the library or went to book stores and sat and read right there in the store when I couldn't afford to buy them. I wonder what it is that you think makes you unworthy? Can you list a few things? And what makes other people worthy? Same question, can you list a few things? Not saying you need to list them here, unless you want to. But I'm really just wondering how you are measuring worthiness vs. unworthiness. It's a word that I never really use when describing myself or others so I'm not sure exactly what you mean by it. Knowing what you mean by it might help to figure out what to do about it. Anonymous on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless/page/2#post-1346985 Thu, 04 Sep 2014 13:31:06 +0000 Anonymous 1346985@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Some fab advice here already for you BM and I just wanted to add my voice to the chorus of "you ARE worthy!" ((Hugs)) Aquamarine on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless/page/2#post-1346964 Thu, 04 Sep 2014 13:10:48 +0000 Aquamarine 1346964@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ BM...echoing others here with all their suggestions. Especially, try to get outside of your head by getting some form of exercise (outside if possible). It's free and it's easy. My head's a busy place and I learned a long time ago that any form of movement on a daily basis centers me and keeps me sane. Louise on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1346960 Thu, 04 Sep 2014 13:06:56 +0000 Louise 1346960@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You've had some brilliant advice above. I'm no expert but it does sound like you need some professional help I'm sure feelings like this aren't normal? Are you religious? Is there someone at church who you could confide in? Or are there any mental health charities in the US? Here in the UK we have MIND <a href="http://www.mind.org.uk" rel="nofollow">http://www.mind.org.uk</a> These things have all worked for me when I'm sad (I don't think I've ever suffered with depression though) 1) Getting out in the fresh air- if I'm home alone with nothing to I try to get out for a walk it gets the blood pumping, some fresh air in my lungs, sunshine (hopefully) on my skin and I see people, even though I'm not necessarily interacting with them it's comforting to be reminded you're not alone in the world. 2) Don't think too much- dwelling on the thing that's making you sad makes it worse, I've taken to listening to audiobooks, you can't think or you miss part of the story! And as it's being read it feels like there is someone there which can be comforting. I love listening to them while walking. 3) Animals- I've been volunteering at a greyhound rescue, there's something very therapeutic about a stroll with a hound, you probably get out already with darling Angel but going to an animal rescue may help lift your heart, the greys are always so pleased to see me that I can't fail to be cheered. It has the added bonus of getting me out of the house and meeting new people. 4) Grapefruit & Lavender essential oils- Grapefruit is a wonderfully cheering oil, I got through 2 bottles of the stuff during my grey days post break up. Lavender is great for helping you sleep, which takes me to my fifth point 5) Sleep- if all else fails I go to sleep. I'm a firm believer in sleep as a healer both physically and mentally and it has the added bonus that you can't feel sad while you're asleep. 6) Plan things- the looking forward to something nice is almost as good as the event. Theatre trips, a cuppa with a friend, a picnic, a day out........ I also keep track in my diary of the lovely things so I can refer back to them. 7) Keep within you circle of influence- basically don't worry about the things you can't change (I got this from a stress at work course) I hope some of these help but please don't feel alone and worthless (((hugs))) x Vivi on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1346691 Thu, 04 Sep 2014 01:45:58 +0000 Vivi 1346691@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi, I don't know about you or your history but I can tell you that my yoga practice helps me every day of my life, through good and bad. It helps with sleep, anxiety, stress, self-esteem, and makes me view my body as beautiful, not because of the way it looks, but because of what I can do with it simply by breathing and focusing my thoughts. I think someone else mentioned meditation, which goes hand-in-hand. Maybe try a class if you haven't, or simply start to focus on your breathing, noticing the sensations within your body while letting go of outside thoughts. Take care. We are all worthy. lyn* on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1346479 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 21:47:37 +0000 lyn* 1346479@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Is there any way you can get yourself to Canada? :| I think it's nuts that you can't get treatment because of the money involved ... but maybe because I'm Canadian? I'm pretty tied in terms of offering any advice because of what I am/what I do ... but I think you have gotten a lot of support - I just wanted to chime in to add that I usually describe depression as a stinky blanket that covers everything! All of life looks stinky from beneath a stinky yucky blanket! My preceptor has adapted that analogy and he uses the wet stinky blanket - not only does it stink it weighs a ton!! There are people who require medications among other medical interventions either to help them get into a mindspace to receive therapy or to keep on functioning (especially if your ability to look after yourself is compromised). I have no idea what resources are available in the US for this - maybe one of our other YLF-ers can help out?  I know in Canada, there are urgent care clinics and you can always walk into any ER and you if you're at one of the major hospitals, we (residents) are on call 24/7 and we have lovely mental health nurses to help us out too! Janet on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1346049 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 13:33:05 +0000 Janet 1346049@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You've already gotten so much good advice here, I have nothing to add in that department. I will add to the chorus of people though, who have felt this way too and have battled to get beyond it. My mother fought depression her whole life, and I've had my bouts with it too. When things get a little tough, my mind starts spinning everything in a negative way, and it is a tremendous effort to catch myself and turn it around, essentially breaking a mental habit. But truly, you ARE worthy. We all are. Everyone needs to feel valued and appreciated. If the people in your life are not contributing to you feeling that way, you have to find it in yourself, and also reach out to find other people who DO value and appreciate you. And yes, depression does lie, and it is indeed possible that people value and appreciate you more than you know. Please keep in touch with us here, and reach out to anyone in your non-virtual life who helps lift you up. Sometimes that means reaching out and lifting someone else up. We care, and we want you to be happy! Big hugs. Glory on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1346018 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 12:31:46 +0000 Glory 1346018@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sending you hugs and letting you know that I am thinking of you. You have some great ideas above. One step at a time - do something for yourself today, a walk with Angel, a cup of tea outside. xoxo Ariadne on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345900 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 04:04:35 +0000 Ariadne 1345900@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, my heart goes out to you.  I'm not shy about saying that I've been where you are many, many times, and YES, you can feel better.  There are lots of good, concrete suggestions here.  My advice is to pick ONE thing and do that.   For what it's worth, I have to be on medication to feel better.  It is non-negotiable for me, and it makes a world of difference.  On meds, I can do the other things that help me feel better (exercise, sleep, eating right, socializing etc.)  Without meds, I can't do any of that.  Everyone's experience is different, of course.   Gigi on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345893 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 03:53:56 +0000 Gigi 1345893@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Biscuitsmom, yes, you are worthy! We all enjoy your company here and are glad you are on the forum.  I have struggled a lot with depressive feelings too. I think MsMary's advice is good: a therapist could be so helpful. Even the routine of getting out once a week can brighten things up—at least it does with me. There are places that offer free or reduced-fee services. You could call Catholic Charities for starters. You could also call United Way by dialing 211 on your phone. An operator there can give you the names of some local places that offer reduced-fee visits. If you feel like you are just a taxi provider for your friends, maybe it is time to find some new ones? Is there some kind of hobby that you enjoy where you could join a group and meet like-minded people? I tend to isolate when I get depressed, and going to meetings of such groups can be very helpful, even though it can be really hard at first.  SarahTheWhite on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345886 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 03:39:11 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1345886@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sending you hugs!! I'm sorry that things are so tough... <3 <3 <3. I have friends who feel the way that you do, and I never know what to say to show them the incredible worth they have, and the meaning they provide to my life. I just wish that I could let them see themselves through my eyes for just a moment. That would change everything. I agree with the others who have mentioned your precious care of your doggies - past and present. That alone tells me that you are incredibly special human being. What must their eyes see when they look at you? Such beauty... Debbie on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345862 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 03:18:43 +0000 Debbie 1345862@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Please do what Ms Mary suggested. The helplines have people to talk to and know what resources are available in your area. Please take care of yourself. Rambling Ann on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345744 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 01:56:41 +0000 Rambling Ann 1345744@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Consider this: feelings aren't facts. Just because you feel a certain way doesn't mean it's true.  Support groups are usually pretty low cost. People who have experienced what you are going through can help you regain your perspective, dignity and self-worth. It's worth a couple phone calls and an hour or two to give it a try. rachylou on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345741 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 01:52:56 +0000 rachylou 1345741@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Well, I really enjoy your company here online, biscuitsmom. Two... Do as Mary says. Three... If things aren't dark dark... my initial thoughts are: 1. Stop thinking, get out of your head more and into your body 2. Pray the rosary out loud 3. Look for your hidden assumptions That last is very hard, because they're hidden from you. You could tape yourself talking stream-of-consciousness. Oh say, do 6 days at a time, 10 minutes a day. Then at the end of every week, listen to it all at once. Notice anything you say more than once? Compare it to what actually happened that day (e.g., got up, ate a muffin, drove sister to the post office...) Or you could do 10 minutes over 6 weeks... you get the idea. It's rather interesting what we say when no one is listening, including ourselves. I have a starter question for you re. I know I'm a reliable FREE mostly 'taxi service' /sometimes cleaning/housekeeper service to my so-called friends, but if that stopped, so would our 'friendship'. My question is... so what? NO! Really seriously, earnestly, not criticising...Is there a problem with that? What's the problem? Do you think there's any other kind of friend? Are you sure about that? Do you maybe need a friend who provides all the services, like you do for others? I mean, we take it for granted that there's something wrong with that. But when was the last time we all had a good look at that assumption. What exactly is the problem? Do you remember? I'm not sure I do... Laurinda on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345736 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 01:49:15 +0000 Laurinda 1345736@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You are indeed worthy ! ! ! (((BIG HUGS))) Aren't you in Hennepin Co.? Do you need help finding low-cost or free resources??? <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <a rel="nofollow" href="http://">Big, Stupid, Destructive Lies Depression Tells You</a>  “You’re not trying hard enough.”  “You’re broken and unfixable.”   “Nothing matters.”   “Being alone is better.”  “There's no hope.”  “You'll never amount to anything.” Depression is a beast. It’s an illness so insidious that sometimes you don’t realize the scope of its life-threatening power until you’re drowning under its wave. It attacks your mind, body and soul by seizing your neurochemistry, weakening your neural pathways, distorting your thoughts, exhausting your body and leaving you emotionally vulnerable. And as depression rails against you, it challenges everything you know, trust and believe. Depression is a serious, but treatable illness. Don’t let the lies depression tells you make you think it isn’t. Firecracker (Sharan) on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345697 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 01:10:19 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1345697@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Caro is so right. You are worthy, because you are. Truly. Big hugs! I hope you get some relief from your feelings soon, through something like MsMary's suggestion perhaps? DonnaF on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345658 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 00:39:27 +0000 DonnaF 1345658@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You are worthy.  Of course!  I second and third the suggestions of others.  Also, when you can, take a walk in nature with your Angel or perhaps take him to a dog park. Thanks for reaching out to us.  It was brave and thoughtful. ma342 on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345597 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 23:24:10 +0000 ma342 1345597@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Some therapists and mental health clinics offer sliding scale treatment. At a time when I was both suffering from depression and broke, I found one that offered (helpful!) treatment for $15/session. I don't know whether these options exist in your city/town, but it might be worth taking time to do some googling and see if anything turns up. I'd also second MsMary's suggestion. There's a common saying that "depression lies to you." I can't say whether or not you have depression--you and/or a medical professional are in a better position to make that call. I will say that your brain is lying to you. Vicious dictators and serial killers may be worthless, but that's about it. I'm guessing you fall into neither of those categories. I know what it's like to feel worthless. I also know that the feeling is not forever, although it seems like it at the time. Caro in Oz on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345582 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 23:09:37 +0000 Caro in Oz 1345582@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Agreeing with Ms Mary & ironkurtin & wanted to add that you don't have to DO anything to be worthy you just are Big hugs. ironkurtin on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345570 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 23:00:10 +0000 ironkurtin 1345570@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ms Mary's suggestion is spot-on.  If you are not religious and cannot seek help there, meditation is a good place to start and there are excellent books at the library.  I also find exercise is enormous - just taking a walk every day can get the blood flowing and help you feel alive. viva on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345546 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 22:27:13 +0000 viva 1345546@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Clearly you are worthy, as you have inspired such support from the women who have responded to you -- not because they have to or ought to, but because they care about you and want to, because you are worthy of that caring. I will be thinking of you tonight. No one should feel alone or unworthy, and I hope you no longer do. Irene on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345526 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 22:03:53 +0000 Irene 1345526@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I was to say that everyone is worthy in some way, but then I remembered one particular person who isn't, so I will change my statement and say that as long as you are helping just one person, and even if in a very small way, you are worthy and that person should be grateful to have you in their life. But, basically, I would say in general terms we all deserve to be respected. There are no worthless people. To be honest, not even that particular person I have in mind is worthless to me. We all make mistakes, and some mistakes are bigger than others, but that doesn't make you worthless.  It sounds like you are suffering from some sort of depression (mild or severe I wouldn't know) and I'm not sure anything we tell you will help that much, but I just... I used to have really, really low self-esteem. I used to feel worthless. But that was because I was establishing levels of worthiness among people, and it shouldn't be that way. I am worthy because I am alive, and I survive everyday, and sometimes I make other people smile and I might even change their lives for the better sometimes. And that's enough for me to feel like a deserve to live and enjoy life and everything it's got to offer.  Suz on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345513 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 21:48:41 +0000 Suz 1345513@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. I'm glad you reached out for help here. It seems as if YLF is a place of solace and safety for you and I hope that continues. Worthy, not the other word. That is you.  :)  LACeleste on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345507 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 21:39:23 +0000 LACeleste 1345507@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh BiscuitsMom, I am not a professional so I may not say the right thing. I absolutely care.  I am a super intuitive person and there is NO DOUBT we would be good friends (we're already friends--right?) if we lived closer.  We could marvel at the cuteness of our animals for endless hours and of course we could discuss fashion and swap colorful boho acessories!  You are my go to canine expert and my family started looking at rescue pups (I love them all!!) this weekend so please consider yourself officially on-call. :) I like your big heart and your extreme genuineness and I really wish I could make you see what I see in you. I am going to be very bold and ask a favor of you---because we are friends I can do this--right?  It pains me to read the title of your thread.  I am not invalidating your feelings--just extremely concerned. If technology and your health allow, can you please try to stay and benefit from the amazing YLF community as I have in my tough times?  Isolating is not healthy and when you drop out of sight, I worry like crazy.  Thank you. XOXOXOX MsMary on "Feeling worthless" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-worthless#post-1345504 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 21:35:12 +0000 MsMary 1345504@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Aw, BM!  I wish there were something we could do to help!  If things are  that dark, I think you should definitely call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at <a rel="nofollow">1-800-273-TALK </a>(8255).  It's not just for people having suicidal thoughts.  From t<a href="http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/" rel="nofollow">heir website</a>: If you feel you are in a crisis, whether or not you are thinking about killing yourself, please call the Lifeline. People have called us for help with substance abuse, economic worries, relationship and family problems, sexual orientation, illness, getting over abuse, depression, mental and physical illness, and even loneliness. You deserve better than this.  Reach out and get yourself some help!  Make the call!