https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 25 Apr 2026 07:15:30 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body/page/2#post-337116 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 14:41:19 +0000 Vix 337116@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fathenry --</p> <p>Of course you deserve to feel good in what you are wearing, but I know the struggle. Maybe start with a few key pieces you enjoy wearing. </p> <p>Anecdotal, but every woman I know who's been in the same situation (myself included) has been more motivated to start/get back on the healthier living train when they are wearing clothes that make them feel good. IMO/E it creates a very positive cycle, whether the end result is getting back in smaller-sized clothes or not.</p> <p>Thimbelina -- beautiful post! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body/page/2#post-337081 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 14:13:07 +0000 christy 337081@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You've received some great advice here - hopefully it's helpful to know that you are NOT alone! It's definitely worth it to go out and buy something that fits your body now. If I'm in clothes that are too tight and therefore uncomfortable, I tend to obsess over that and find it very difficult to focus on doing anything productive, like eating well or making the time to be active. Punishing yourself by dressing in clothes that are uncomfortable and unflattering is just going to make it that much harder to treat yourself and your body with the respect you both deserve. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body/page/2#post-337072 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 13:52:58 +0000 Mamapicklejuice 337072@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Buying new clothes that fit the body you have doesn't mean you're giving up on getting fit or being healthy! In fact, I'm pretty sure I've read at least anecdotal stories that people are motivated to start or continue exercising simply because their new clothes fit them so well, it was like an instant weight loss.</p> <p>I'm another one like AJ (well, not petite) but such that 5 lbs makes a huge difference in how things fit (particularly around the tummy). It was an interesting excercise yesterday trying on dresses at Macy's. The small size made me look hippy and a little pregnant, the next size up was like - *wow* - I look pretty good! You deserve to feel *wow* when you look in the mirror - get thee to a shopping mall! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body/page/2#post-337050 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 13:10:35 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 337050@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>thimbelina, beautiful way to look at life and the changes it throws at us.</p> <p>I too think a shopping expedition is in order. there is a reason we call it shop therapy and it is because having new pretty things to wear makes us feel better. I am all for feeling happier. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body/page/2#post-337043 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 12:34:14 +0000 anne 337043@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thimbelina -I loved reading that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-337042 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 12:30:23 +0000 Laura 337042@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a lovely thread! I am glad it brings comfort to you, fathenry, and that you can love the body you have now and the body you will have in a year. It is a very challenging time of life, that's for sure. Have you tried yoga? At the risk of sounding like a yoga freak, I have found that it's chilled out my hormones and reshaped my body simultaneously. And it's good for your mental health too! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336991 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 05:21:08 +0000 fathenry 336991@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is so beyond kind,I'm just taking it all in. I'm humbled and touched by your words of wisdom. Thank you truly for taking the time to share your experiences, it really helps. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336790 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 00:07:33 +0000 MsMary 336790@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thimbelina, that was beautiful! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336772 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 23:40:30 +0000 biscuitsmom 336772@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You've gotten great advice, but I just want to add that if you've gained more than 5 lbs, your thyroid may be to blame...please get it checked out...it will *not* return to normal by itself....dont be like me and wait too long to go in to the dr....also, get thee a bra fitting at a place that knows what they're doing- Intimacy is best, Nordstroms is a good 2nd....avoid Victoria's Secret (they will try and sell you what they have, rather than what you need) Anyway, best of luck! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336746 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 23:11:09 +0000 catgirl 336746@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That was lovely, Thimbelina. </p> <p>I just had a discussion with my friend and climbing partner about how we feel our bodies don't send us flowers any more. It's like, "What happened to our love? We used to be so close and work so well together. Every time I saw you I felt good and you made me happy. And now you've changed. Yes, you have. You betray me at every turn. What have you done for me lately? Where has our love gone? Why are you doing this to me? WAAAAAAAAAH!"</p> <p>Your attitude is way better! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336728 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 22:39:43 +0000 thimblelina 336728@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>PS... Well, I'm no longer peri... I'm just plain ol' menopausal... Yes, Elvis has left the building, so to speak... And I have had several bodies: a youthful underweight body which could wear almost anything because it all hung as if from a clotheshanger on my perfectly straight frame; then more of an hourglassy voluptous nursing mother with IT tendencies; and finally now this body I like to call the athletic crone: big shoulders, the ruins of what was once an enviable bustline, a squishy zone where there is virtually no waist and slim hips without the benefit of any supporting cast in the booty department, all ending in legs that regularly fool UPS men half my age into sneaking another look... In 15 years I have no doubt I will peruse these forum pictures and think damn, I really didn't appreciate how good I looked!... and so it goes... we are such moving targets for our whole lives. What interests me now is appreciating how my body works. It is such a veteran. It has produced live animals. It has walked for countless miles. It has harvested bushels of vegetables. It is has cooked vats of stock. It has moved me through bad days at the office and good days at the beach. It has helped me carry the caskets of people I loved on their journey to locales where bodies are no longer needed. And now that it has decided it can no longer bleed with lunar tide, I'm going to get mad at it?? That just makes me sad. Its like a war veteran, my body. And it is faithful like a dog; it still wants to get up with the sun, and run in the morning fog, and enjoy a glass of wine with me tonight. So I just try as much as possible to once and for all stop being mad about sizes and numbers and goals. I'm much more interested in finding things that make me look and feel good right now, this moment, this day. Cuts and colors and tricks of the eye that make an older and more seasoned body feel loved and celebrated. </p> <p>Sorry this got long... these menopausal gals can really go, eh? I really didn't mean to preach here. Buy some cute clothes; you deserve them. L. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336719 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 22:19:33 +0000 catgirl 336719@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aw, sweetie, hugs to you. </p> <p>I have been going through something VERY similar, and although I am now getting into an exercise and fitness routine to get back to my old self, I did buy myself a few new things, including a pair of jeans, even though it was hard to buy a size up. Then I packed away everything that is too tight or uncomfortable but still worth keeping. Those clothes were just making me feel really bad about myself in a depressing way, and of course they didn't look good either. I figure if I keep up with my plan, I will take them out at the end of the summer and hope I fit into them - and it will be like having new clothes. Right now they are all under the bed in the "out of sight, out of mind" zone.</p> <p>These posts are making me wonder if I'm in peri-menopause... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336718 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 22:16:24 +0000 thimblelina 336718@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Absolutely give yourself a fun &amp; dignified working wardrobe for the person you are right now, right here, today! We should never give over whole draughts of our lives waiting to be "good enough" for a human basic like clothing for one's hardworking body. And you will be surprised how much just works as you go up and down, lots of cardigans seems to still look great in a slouchy way even if they end up a size larger for instance... and tailors can work with cutting down particular favorites if need be. Somehow the proper clothes will find you again in smaller sizes when you need them. But promise you won't wait! I have found that a body which feels loved and prized performs much better, eats much healthier and works out even harder than the body that feels shamed and scorned every time it is met in the mirror by the self. Next time you are looking in the mirror and thinking self-loathing thoughts, ask yourself "is this how I would speak to a child?... would I be proud to be overheard right now speaking to a child in this way?" I am amazed at how quickly the tone of that inner voice changes, and how quickly the body responds to even the most minimal signs of gratitude &amp; acceptance... L </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336710 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 21:59:47 +0000 SW Ann 336710@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just had to reach out to you, as I have been through exactly what you are going through--but am now on the other side.....I did buy myself some new things and it did make me feel better about how I looked. I put on about 15 pounds or so during peri-and menopausal process....then, when I was definitely past it all, and the symptoms were passed, I was able to lose the excess weight. The process took a couple of years so it is worth it to work to feel and look your best while you are changing....If nothing else, at least get some cute accessories to "jazz" up what you have--it really will help you feel better "during"....and it is easier to lose the excess pounds that come with menopause when the symptoms abate. If you don't feel okay about how you are looking (too tight clothes), your self esteem will take a hit which will make the process even that much more difficult. Everyone's advice is good; I would at least "box up" all the too small clothing to get it out of sight for awhile, unless it's something you just don't like. AT the very least, go to a store and try on some new clothes to see how good you can look in clothes that fit the current you. Best of luck, and big hug to you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336551 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 15:28:52 +0000 Heather 336551@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great advice here! Hugs to you and happy shopping! Share your new loot with us, too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336544 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 15:19:34 +0000 Mo 336544@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As someone who once threw out everything 2 sizes too small and then lost weight that next season, I agree to maybe hold onto to nicer and not dated items for the year. Especially if you plan on getting back to that size relatively soon. I was majorly bummed that I'd thrown out silk blazers and other perfectly fine things. Perhaps boxing them up so you don't see them there taunting you in the meanwhile would work? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336533 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 15:01:49 +0000 Aziraphale 336533@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Joy, I see your point. There's nothing more depressing then looking at a bunch of lovely clothes hanging in your closet that you can't wear. It's like they're taunting you! However, it's very possible, when you're trying to get in shape, to go down several sizes over the course of a year, and there may be beautiful clothes in your closet that you'd be sorry you got rid of. A year isn't that much time.</p> <p>I suggest a compromise. Fathenry, why not do a closet purge of all your too-small clothes now, keep only the ones that you really like, and hide them away in a box where you can't see them? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336495 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 14:03:03 +0000 Anonymous 336495@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Of course you deserve beautiful clothes, right at this moment. Don't beat yourself up; you're the only you you've got, and you're important! Be gentle, have fun, and go shopping! Big hugs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336487 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 13:59:29 +0000 RoseandJoan 336487@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fathenry, stop punishing yourself and go shop, seeing yourself at your best will be the best possible pick me up. I have missed your posts! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336481 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 13:53:41 +0000 Anonymous 336481@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm afraid my advice is the opposite of elisabeth's. Get rid of all the ill-fitting stuff so that your closet is a guilt-free zone. Someone else will benefit from them. If you lose weight in the future (and you probably will), those old clothes will be outdated and may still not fit properly. Besides, you deserve to treat yourself to new things. Have fun with your new body. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336381 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 04:23:26 +0000 Aziraphale 336381@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with everyone. It is absolutely worthwhile -- even necessary! -- to buy some clothing items that fit the body you have now, and that make you happy. And yes, it is possible to change body type; for example, a woman who was an hourglass in her youth may find herself more of an apple in her menopausal years.</p> <p>One thing nobody has asked yet: do you plan to try to lose the weight you have gained? You say you have been neglecting fitness for a while, but assuming you try to get back into shape, is it likely that you will go back to the size you were before? If so, don't toss out the clothes you like that are too tight. </p> <p>The reason I say this is that I gained a helluva lot of weight in both my pregnancies, and both times, and wasn't sure how it would affect my future figure. I was prepared for a permanently different, and possibly bigger, shape. The first time, I did lose all the weight, and was able to fit back into every last pair of pre-pregnancy jeans -- but not for a whole year. That meant 12 months of a gradually shrinking figure, which of course meant purchasing clothing (bottoms, mostly) in gradually diminishing sizes. The second time, I had less time to exercise (two kids and a mortgage will do that to ya), so I never did get all the way back down; I'm still a size bigger. Two years after my second child was born, I finally did a massive closet purge and got rid of all of those prepregnancy clothes that still don't fit me. And let's face it, if I ever do beat those last five pounds off my body, my prepregnancy clothes will be so woefully out of style that I wouldn't wear them anyway!</p> <p>My point is, if there is a chance that, in the next two years, you will get back down to your original size, it's worth keeping your old clothes. Treat it like a pregnancy: your normal wardrobe is temporarily "on hold," but you must buy some nice things in the meantime so you can look and feel good about yourself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336376 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 04:18:45 +0000 MsMary 336376@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Worth it, worth it, yes yes yes!! If you punish yourself for gaining weight by wearing ill-fitting, unattractive clothes, it just makes it that much harder to care enough about yourself to lose the weight, and you have a vicious cycle and awful clothes and -- ugh!! I've only ever successfully lost weight when I was ALREADY feeling okay about myself, and that definitely includes dressing in clothes that fit and look and feel good!</p> <p>Big hugs from me, too!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336375 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 04:18:32 +0000 yublocka 336375@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Agree with everyone that you should get some new clothes to feel good in the body that you're in. And why not move the ill-fitting clothes out of your wardrobe too? Its depressing having things hanging that you have no chance of wearing! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336374 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 04:18:28 +0000 fathenry 336374@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mine is all in the tummy, upper arms and face. I realize, thinking about it, that I haven't bought myself a new pair of dress pants for work in years, they are all about 5, even 7 years old. I think that will be first on my list. That's probably why I feel like such a frump, I wear old dress pants every single day! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336372 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 04:12:17 +0000 Refugee 336372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just wanted to reach out with hugs. Perimenopause has put my body shape/size all over the place! Dressing what I have at the moment has really boosted me and made me feel better all around. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336370 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 04:11:21 +0000 lyn* 336370@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Buy things! Pretty things that make your heart go pitter-patter!</p> <p>I had a ghastly time when I gained weight (about 30 lbs); and it was terrrrrrrrible until I learned to love my new body. It's a part of you (big or small!) love it and don't let anyone tell you that it's not fab.:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336368 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 04:07:53 +0000 AJ 336368@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I constantly fluctuate up and down 5 pounds and it's all in my tummy, which is very obvious on a petite person. So I've learned what types of clothing minimizes that area when I need it. It's nice to know that I don't have to beat myself up on those more apple-y days because I have clothing options that still allow me to feel good about myself.</p> <p>So definitely go out and experiment with new proportions and silhouettes and find some things that will put a spring back in your step. : ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336363 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 04:00:08 +0000 Melissa 336363@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Heck, yes. Remember, even though you may not feel kind and loving toward your body all the time, this is the body that gets you through every day, that carries you around and does (mostly) what you ask it. That is a great body to have. </p> <p>You deserve to look as fab as you are, and you must have clothes that make you feel wonderful. Please give yourself permission to treat your body right by wearing clothes that fit and flatter.</p> <p>Speaking from personal experience, I feel a million times better wearing a larger size of pants that fit me perfectly than I did while punishing/neglecting myself by wearing ill-fitting clothes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336361 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 03:49:43 +0000 fathenry 336361@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you, truly. I seem to be at some kind of plateau that I've never had to deal with before. I really appreciate the support. I like the idea of embracing this, rather than trying to fight it so hard. I just don't have it in me right now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/feeling-ok-with-a-changing-body#post-336359 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 03:45:20 +0000 Niki Lea 336359@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>fathenry, I can empathize with how you're feeling. Over the past four years, I've both gained and lost 45 pounds due to pregnancy weight gain and lifestyle changes. My wardrobe has been in a constant state of flux (from size 8/10, to size 16, to size 12) &amp; I held on to so many things hoping they'd fit me one day again. I like Angie's advice to dress for the body we have at the moment. It's freeing to accept who I am today. Tomorrow is a new day and a year from now may be vastly different, but it's nice to feel good now too. </p>