YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Fashion Bulimia?

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Fashion Bulimia? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 04 Apr 2026 17:09:34 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php shedev on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168709 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 21:47:27 +0000 shedev 1168709@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've purged a lot this last year. When I first joined YLF, I thought I was gonna be more bombshell. But I felt like I was just trying too hard and I realized that I need my clothing to function like gear, I need to be able to run, jump and play with kids and dogs. Sometimes a fashion crush becomes true love, and sometimes it's just a fling. Boots are true love to me. I had a torrid affair with dots that lasted a season and I was done. I have a 4 season climate so I'm limited to 6 pieces per season. Last year, it would never have worked to limit my shopping. I had to build a foundation of things I want to wear. My vision is much clearer this year, as far as knowing what kinds of things I'll wear and what will play well in my closet I do want to shrink my closet some more so I do have more purging to do. By next year I'd like to be a 1in/ 1out kind of girl. Liz on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168416 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 16:09:04 +0000 Liz 1168416@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Interesting thought, Mo, about whether to keep up with trends and how to do so without bloating a closet. I've dealt with this on a very small scale this past week. The weather has warmed up in my part of the country, and there are amazing deals on the clearance racks. I want to go shopping and refresh my closet! Trouble is, I don't want to increase the number of items in my closet; I'm happy where I am. So I deliberately decided not to buy anything because I wasn't ready to get rid of anything.  On a larger scale, I've pretty much made a decision that I'll be bypassing most of the trends I see here, not because I don't like them, but because I have a very small budget and because I want to keep my wardrobe size in check. That means very little buying...which means most trends are not going to be for me, and that any style shifts I make are going to come pretty slowly. I had to make a conscious decision to be OK with that.  viva on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168411 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 16:03:14 +0000 viva 1168411@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm with you, Mo. Definitely want to slow down the cycle some. Mo on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168402 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 15:48:01 +0000 Mo 1168402@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ We all see this from different angles.  Interesting.  I get that we all purge. We better, or our closet will burst!  And of course, when life changes, as Suz so correctly pointed out, that necessitates a change.   I'm wondering where the 'cycle' of the buying comes into play.  For instance, TorontoGirl was the only one who said she does this with other parts of her life (books, kitchenware).  I find it fascinating that clothing is somehow a category unto itself that is seen as more consumable (credit MaryK ;)).  When I bought my laptop, I didn't think, "this will be fine for a year or two until the latest one comes out."  But, some people do!  They keep up with technology like we do trends.    I suppose I'm wondering how to be a fashionista and a responsible consumer at the same time!!  :P   Hopefully, if I buy smarter, I will slow down the cycle, if not get off the merry go round all together. leopardluxe on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168395 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 15:37:30 +0000 leopardluxe 1168395@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've always been the type to purge items in my closet pretty regularly. When I lived in Boston I used to do it when I switched out my Fall/Winter and Spring Summer clothing (was a good excuse to look at some items with fresh eyes after not seeing it all season and decide whether you really wore it enough last winter to merit hanging on to it. Sometimes I purge things because it turns out I just didn't wear a piece as much as I thought I would or because basics in my closet have become worn and need to be replaced (like t-shirts and such) and more recently I've been purging a bunch of stuff that is more "professional" looking than I need to wear at this stage of my life. I used to speak at a lot of industry conferences on Ecommerce Optimization and User Experience, so I had some nice "professional but still uniquely me" pieces.  Over the last couple of years I haven't been doing speaking engagements so I've had no cause to wear them -- so I've been selling them and replacing them with things I'm more likely to wear regularly (cashmere sweaters, moto jackets, boots, etc.).  I've kept a few pieces, knowing I will end up speaking professionally again but just not as often as I used to (so this way I won't feel the need to go out and buy more "professional attire" when I do have a gig). I've also purged a huge number of dresses and skirts (unless they work well with tights). Not *all* of them, but definitely more than 50%. When I lived in Vegas and was working at Zappos the weather was more often than not VERY hot (which I loved and found comfortable) so I wore a ton of dresses and skirts. Now that I'm living in SoCal and the average temp is around 70 it's just too cold for me on most days to go bare legged (I am almost always cold and don't start to feel warm till the temp passes 85 or so). I realized I likely wouldn't wear these things regularly anymore so I kept a few for when I visit Vegas and other hot climes and either donated or sold the rest. My last reason for purging is problems with my feet. I developed arthritis in my left foot so I can't wear many of the sky high heels I once could. So I've been selling and donating a lot of shoes from my extensive shoe closet (working at Zappos.com and Onlineshoes.com came with a hefty employee discount, so I definitely have too many shoes!)  I still shop often and sell items often. Since I buy most of my stuff secondhand (via online sites like ebay, designer consignment and thrift stores) it doesn't really hit my budget too much at all --and since I regularly sell items I don't wear I find that what I get for those pays for many of the newer items. So it sort of balances out and is a nice hobby to distract me when I need to be distracted from work. That said, as a former antiques and vintage clothing dealer, I also have pieces I've owned for over 25 years and would never consider purging, no matter how often they are or aren't worn (like one of my vintage Pucci dresses). viva on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168350 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 14:27:52 +0000 viva 1168350@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am a big purger, and I think I am finally realizing why. - I can be an impluse / emotional buyer - buying when I am hungry / angry / lonely / tired / overwhelmed / bored. - When I stick to stores I know, clothes fit me off the rack - no tailoring - so I often make the "buy" decision at these stores very, very quickly. (JCrew) - I find it hard to resist a good deal. - Inevitably, I buy things I don't really need or want, and that I am tired of at the end of the season. So I purge them. This isn't true with everything -- sometimes I make really good choices, and those things tend to stay. But the fact is, I maintain a pretty small wardrobe, yet I still manage to bring bags to the consignment store every few months. THIS IS WHY. Yesterday, I brought a big bag to drop off. It contained about 6 pairs of work pants dating back to 2007 (their labels show the season and year) and a bunch of jewelry I don't wear. So I felt good about that part. But the bag also contained three things I never should have bought: a jacket I bought on sale at the Loft last month that I wore only once and no longer am attracted to at all, a JCrew jacket I bought in the fall (too small), and a pair of jeans I bought on consignment that were too short when I bought them. I guess the lesson for me is that the purging itself is not the problem -- but it has alerted me to the unhealthy shopping behaviors that lead to the purging. Neel on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168332 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 13:47:18 +0000 Neel 1168332@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am a serial buyer. There I said it. I don't purge. Very very hard for me to let go something even if I don't wear it for years! I have enough clothes that I could probably wear for an entire year and still not repeat. Yes. That's me. For me it was/is a way of getting back at life in general. Emotional security. Since I ditched food. So now my weight is under control but my closet not so! Even with a 250$ per month budget (which I religiously follow) I have clogged my closet. But I am improving. I now only buy something because I *want* it not because I *need* it. I no longer crave shopping and its normal to come back home with nothing after a day of window shopping. I guess these are signs of improvement, right? Helena on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168318 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 13:11:05 +0000 Helena 1168318@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This is a really great question. I am a serial purger, not just with clothes but everything (housewares, books, you name it) ... I think Mo's point about perfectionism comes into it for me, and as well I occasionally try to be something I'm not, buy some stuff, and then realize (again!) that that's NOT who I am ... and back to my navy and stripes and black ha! I am hoping my wardrobe analysis project is going to help me with this once and for all ... but I think this question will also keep me far more mindful of when I am not being true to myself in my purchases ... thanks for asking it! deb on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168150 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 02:42:16 +0000 deb 1168150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am a purge as I go person so this does not quite fit me but I do understand. Jaime on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168144 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 02:39:42 +0000 Jaime 1168144@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Interesting question Mo. I tend to agree with Denise, and not see a desire for something new (and out with the old) an addictive behavior until it is damaging in some way. Or else there are a lot of addicts out there because we are all wired to greater or lesser degree to crave novelty and it's not a bad thing. The whole fashion industry is built on it (and a lot of other industries too).  I am not sure how I see myself in this framework. I go to thrift and second hand stores all the time to buy and sell and probably have new (used) stuff pass through my home more often than most people. And like Suz, I feel no guilt. Hmm, I have to think about this further.  fuzzylogic on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168126 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 02:09:07 +0000 fuzzylogic 1168126@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Bwahahaha, Suz! Only you, and I and, um, the whole world will hear your confession..... :-) Yes, of course, there are always grey areas in life. If only life were as simple as black and white........! But what you are describing sounds like experimentation rather than purge with disavowal. Mo on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168114 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 01:58:01 +0000 Mo 1168114@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes, I am living in that grey area right now.  I don't need new stuff.  But I want it.  And yet, and yet - I often find myself in gear or lounge clothes. I admittedly can't wear what I already have often enough each year. What is my motivation?  Am I trying to create the 'perfect' wardrobe?  Shopping to fill an empty day to day?  Buying because I know we have a lot more money here to play with than when we return home?  All of the above? And it is even a problem, or simply an observation?   Thistle on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168111 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 01:52:33 +0000 Thistle 1168111@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Very wise words Denise. Much of what I have purged came from ages ago. I kept them because one day I was going to fit back into them. 10 years later I still haven't. Or 8 years in some cases. I had several boxes of clothes I had been saving to get back into. I have recently come to terms with the fact that I will probably not fit back into these clothes. Ever. So I parted with them and haven't looked back. I have also been slowly letting go of pieces that are uncomfortable, no matter how nice they are or what I paid for them . . Suz on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168109 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 01:49:30 +0000 Suz 1168109@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Serial purger here, stepping up to the confession booth.  But here's the thing. Can I confess if I feel no guilt?  Truly -- I had, essentially no wardrobe, and no style, before YLF. So I started buying stuff and experimenting. Lots of it came from consignment or discount stores or was purchased on sale. Regardless, 2.5 years on, a huge amount of that stuff is gone. And new stuff has taken its place. But I'm okay with that. I don't feel bulimic. I expect to slow down my edits over the next year or so. I'm getting clearer on what works for me. The more clear I am, the more I can hang onto for longer periods. So now it has become more of a process of one-in-one-out.  I like new things. I like trying new styles. I like trying trends. So this is going to continue. Not at the same rate every year, but I'll definitely be refreshing every season.  So, I guess that's another question -- and one that probably has no easily agreed on answer: What's "bulimic" and what's a "refresher." On the extreme ends we can probably all agree. An entirely new wardrobe when there's no external reason for it (move, weight change, job change, pregnancy) -- that's probably over the top for most of us. One or two new items per season, that's probably a refresher. But what about the grey areas? fuzzylogic on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168107 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 01:43:28 +0000 fuzzylogic 1168107@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think you are right, Mo! That is a great question! What is driving the need? I think that question discrimates between the relief of a purchase followed by disavowal (binge-purge), versus the obsession to accumulate, versus experimentation with room for mistakes. Power to you, CocoLion! Mo on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia/page/2#post-1168101 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 01:29:28 +0000 Mo 1168101@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wise words, Denise  Thanks. CocoLion on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168099 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 01:26:38 +0000 CocoLion 1168099@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ And Mo, I think everyone has a desire for "new" -- it just differs which category.  For some people it's a car, your boyfriend's and your income depend on that.  For some, it's a relationship.  As a bartender, you probably have seen that in action -- people looking for love.  For me, it's travelers, or outdoors enthusiasts looking for the latest thrill and they come to the wilderness/Yosemite for that.  "New" stimulates dopamine in the brain, it's how we're wired.  I don't think you should beat up on yourself for wanting new things.  Just as long as your life is not unmanageable.  And I know you are financially very responsible. CocoLion on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168095 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 01:21:36 +0000 CocoLion 1168095@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ If anyone is wondering, when does something become an addiction, it is when your life is unmanageable.  So if your fashion buying/purging cycle makes your life unmanageable (too much debt, no time for family, loss of job, loss of income, loss of health) -- then it is an addiction. -- Signed, a Friend of Bill W. (I wonder, are there any other friends of Bill on this forum?) Mo on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168092 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 01:20:15 +0000 Mo 1168092@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ And maybe this is partly why I tried on 7 or more pair of white jeans before getting the pair, and am repeating the same with black booties.  I want deliberate forward progress, not spinning my wheels round and round. qfbrenda on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168089 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 01:16:19 +0000 qfbrenda 1168089@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have gotten rid of many things over the years but not nearly as much lately.  Over the last year or so I've really figured out what things I love.  I have upgraded a few things, but overall I'm keeping most things until they show serious wear.  I don't want to get into the "bulimia" cycle with clothes!  My budget just can't handle that.  So I'm being careful with what I buy and holding on to what I have for now. Mo on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168087 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 01:16:10 +0000 Mo 1168087@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I guess the deeper question for myself is what is driving this need for new, and at what cost?  Is there a parallel to the pursuit of perfection (which of course can never be achieved). Mo on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168082 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 01:11:58 +0000 Mo 1168082@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ yes, Shiny, it's more than just a simple yes or no thing for sure.  In my own case, I think 10 to 20% of my wardrobe is disposable fashion.  Mostly summer tops, maybe a dress or sandal here or there.  In my mind, that means it likely won't last more than 2 seasons (one full calendar year plus a month or so) maybe 3 seasons (2 full years+).  Much of my wardrobe I purchase fully intending it to be there as long as possible.  I don't think in terms of "this is only for now, and I will be done with it in 3 months" but perhaps some people do.  Not that one way is right or wrong necessarily, just that I am looking to not be on the buy/purge/buy rollercoaster myself.  I'm sure some ladies who thrift and only spend a few bucks on an item feel fine donating it the next year for another new to them find.   shiny on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168075 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 00:56:04 +0000 shiny 1168075@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This is better with specific examples, I think... like, how about jeans? You've got fashion bulimia if you dumped all your bootcut and flares awhile ago and currently only own skinnies & boyfriend jeans, but are about to purge all of those in favor of wide legs instead. In my dresser right now I have the "jeans in current rotation" and that includes skinnies (with various rises from high to low), a pair of baggy BF jeans, and the AG Nikki's. In storage I have boot cuts, trouser cut flares, and straight legs. I never purged them. They were hard enough to find in the first place. I just got bored of them. But they are still in my possession and I actually took them out today and tried them all on again.  Sweaters are another example. I have in rotation and in storage those styles that flatter me the most - cropped cardigans, and V-neck cardigans that hit at the waist. Plus a white and black long cardigan or two. Then I have a lot of pullovers since pullovers are currently in style. Meanwhile, in storage right now are the drapey sweaters. I haven't let them go, I just got tired of them so away they went. I also have a bunch of super thick/warm turtlenecks and nordic-like sweaters that I've owned forever that I know, just know.. will come back in style one of these days. What got purged? Sweaters that pilled or lost too many buttons or wore out at the elbows. I still morn the death of my BR cobalt blue cardigan. Never did find a replacement for that. Sigh. shiny on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168072 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 00:44:43 +0000 shiny 1168072@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I actually store a lot of things I am tired of, as long as it still fits and is in good condition. Because sometimes it just needs a rest before I'm ready for it again. And sometimes things do come back into style - ie., classic pieces.  Meanwhile I do not have a lot of space in the bedroom closet and dresser drawers, so yes, I purge when I can no longer close the drawers. But usually a lot of what I purge goes to storage rather than goodwill or the trash. Storage includes off-season items so I do go through it once or twice a year to rotate. A that time I do an edit.  I haven't done a major purge in a long time. But at the moment I have a goodwill bag and I've been slowly popping items into it, one at a time. A couple of cocktail/formal dresses I've had for 15 years, the hemlines are WAY to short. A few coats I've owned for 10+ years, but never wear for this or that reason. A couple shoes that are past their prime. Gone.   Editing, not purging.  I'd really love to purge half my DH's wardrobe. He holds on to everything, and wears maybe 10%. And keeps acquiring. The more I edit and minimalize my own wardrobe, the more he feels free to hoard. fuzzylogic on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168069 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 00:38:58 +0000 fuzzylogic 1168069@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This is such an insightful question, Mo! The similarities between binge-purge eating disorders and binge-purge fashion are striking! Like a person with a borderline personality disorder who replies on someone else for their sense of self and may be primed for eating disorders, if a person relies on advertising (intrinsically dedicated to making consumers feel deficient) for their sense of style they are much more likely to be caught in this cycle! I guess the exceptions are people who make their name being fashion leaders- their job is to shake it up a bit. But perhaps binge-purge fashion approaches something more akin to addiction? Would love to hear lyn's perspective! CocoLion on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168058 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 00:19:49 +0000 CocoLion 1168058@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Fashion bulimia?  I thought this process was called '1 in, 1 out.'  At least, that's my positive spin on it.  ;-) Mo on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168056 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 00:17:17 +0000 Mo 1168056@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmmm, I was thinking more along the lines of 'I'm tired of this after two seasons so now I want to move on to that' behavior more than mistakes.  The desire both for new and to be ever perfecting our wardrobes.  Although mistakes and impulse buys certainly are a big factor as well.   gryffin on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168051 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 00:12:22 +0000 gryffin 1168051@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Mo - This is a really thought provoking question.  I do have a hard time giving things away.  The last big purge was mostly things bought 20 yr ago loved and way past prime.  Also my husband never lets me debride.  He has pants from college.  So that was the "big one."  The rest of the items were mistakes.  I'm doing my best to limit those and trying to buy better and buy less and also trying to pare down to a more minimal and functional wardrobe.  I've also kept a list of purchases for the last year.  But that's a really interesting way to look at the buying cycle.  It puts it in a very visceral context!  I have to ponder this some more...great thread!! thanks for starting it!! Gigi on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168048 Sun, 16 Feb 2014 00:08:16 +0000 Gigi 1168048@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Interesting thought, Mo. I like Caro's assessment: some people need a few purges before they can get a handle on what's going on. I haven't been interested in style long enough to do a "real" purge. I had a very minimal wardrobe (about four S/S outfits, and four F/W ones) before YLF, and I got rid of about a quarter of that because it was either getting raggy or didn't fit. But I have bought a lot of clothes in the past year and can see your point. I see that many of my purchases are no longer making me very happy, especially the purchases I made when I was just starting to build my new wardrobe. I just consider it part of the learning curve. You can't know how to assess your own style and really learn about who you are if you're not making some mistakes. But what you're probably getting at is that we need to learn *why* we're making the mistakes and then try not to repeat them. I think that a lot of why some people may learn this more quickly than others might be just due to accidental (meaning surface) factors: how much money you have, how much time you have to shop, how much clothing you can find that actually fits you. These restraints make it necessary for some people to deal with poor purchases more quickly than others. Raisin on "Fashion Bulimia?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fashion-bulimia#post-1168041 Sat, 15 Feb 2014 23:55:10 +0000 Raisin 1168041@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I would think after a big closet purge it would be a lot easier to justify an impulse buy, or an "I need this to fill a hole" buy.  Interesting thought, Mo, I'd never really considered that.