https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 19 May 2026 07:43:41 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts/page/2#post-1662158 Mon, 16 May 2016 15:53:00 +0000 rebekahphoto 1662158@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I understand your situation all too well, as I am up 25+ lbs. my highest ever. the closet is very depressing some days. the in-betweenie land of fashion can be pretty dim--there are some lines that are more generous, and ok, but part of me just wants to have regular clothing to wear. plus can be too big. The special lines are fine, but maybe not as inspiring. With a bit larger budget you might have better luck finding interesting items. Maybe look more at some Scandinavian designers-some go larger to a 42/12. I remember being in Italy and shopping was tough other than Marina Rinaldi</p> <p>I do agree with everyone your shoes are killer &amp; would make any outfit!</p> <p>I think Gaylene had some good point about looking at dressing your new body, perhaps in ways you didnt consider before.</p> <p>oh for sweats: you might like something from American Giant. nice price, better quality than the department store. I ordered them &amp; the fabric is pretty soft and substantial.</p> <p><a href="http://www.american-giant.com/essential-jogger/W1-7B-9.html?cgid=womens-bottoms&amp;dwvar_W1-7B-9_size=l&amp;dwvar_W1-7B-9_color=black#start=4" rel="nofollow">http://www.american-giant.com/.....W1-7B-9_si</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts/page/2#post-1662118 Mon, 16 May 2016 14:46:32 +0000 MsMary 1662118@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anna, I so feel for you because I spent most of my life as an inbetweenie size who couldn't find anything to fit! You've gotten some great practical advice here so I will just send lots of hugs and encouragement!! You look fab at every size! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts/page/2#post-1661994 Mon, 16 May 2016 07:37:31 +0000 CocoLion 1661994@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you look good in dresses, because you have great legs. &nbsp;Dress + cool footwear + cool accessory + sweatshirt you can pop over it in the morning. &nbsp;I guess you could put leggings under the dress too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts/page/2#post-1661229 Sat, 14 May 2016 19:57:41 +0000 Gaylene 1661229@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK--cold, hard realism and problem-solving techniques worked for me once I realized my current body shape was what It was.</p> <p>Stage one was deciding on a couple of silhouettes, or formulas, that I could experiment with that didn't stray too far from my style preferences. Limiting my options meant I could concentrate on finding specific pieces that I liked instead of just trying to cover my body. </p> <p>Stage Two was finding new shops instead of relying on my old favourites. Some places I discarded after a few minutes but getting away from my beaten path did lead to a few pleasant surprises. </p> <p>Stage Three was letting go of my previous style identity so it didn't overly prejudice my experimenting. I had always rejected "soft" looks and my mirror confirmed these feelings were usually legitimate, but I did discover a few exceptions which worked surprisingly well for my new shape once I wore the item my way. </p> <p>None of this was easy but approaching the whole changing body shape as a logical, problem-solving exercise made it less emotional. I was dressing a shape using MY aesthetic preferences instead of listening to others. Instead of regretting what was lost, I tried to visualize where I wanted to take my future self--and that vision didn't include a life spent in a Walmart sweatsuit. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts/page/2#post-1661144 Sat, 14 May 2016 17:41:52 +0000 Ledonna N. 1661144@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Knowing your style Anna those SWEATS WITH BE THE MOST STYLISH THING EVER. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts/page/2#post-1661141 Sat, 14 May 2016 17:37:13 +0000 annagybe 1661141@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I really didn't want to make this sound like a pity party. This is my current reality and I need to figure out how to deal with it. Whining accomplishes nothing, and in some respects makes it worse I feel.<br />I know how to lose weight, but right now I have a ton of other things in my life that are taking precedent. <br />I just want some basics to get my through it however long this phase will be which could be quite a while, years.<br />Angie, yes it's a heck of lot warmer in Seattle than ever before. Sweatshirts would be very practical for me because of waiting for the bus early in morning it's still chilly. I don't want to spend big bucks. </p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts/page/2#post-1660604 Fri, 13 May 2016 18:05:50 +0000 Anonymous 1660604@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So much advice!&nbsp; Lots to think about.&nbsp; Now it's time to make a plan.&nbsp; What are you going to do feel fabulous? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts/page/2#post-1660599 Fri, 13 May 2016 17:48:58 +0000 Anonymous 1660599@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just to throw something else into the mix...speaking as a seamstress...have you thought of finding a great dressmaker/tailor and having a few custom things made? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts/page/2#post-1660477 Fri, 13 May 2016 14:39:29 +0000 Momo 1660477@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It is tough being an Inbetweenie.<br /> Feels like a forgotten part of the retail structure sometimes.<br /> Even though apparently 14 is a very popular size in America!</p> <p>Anna- don't despair. Find brands that fit, they are out there. And I say those who don't make clothes larger than a 10 are brands to be avoided anyway bc they are sizist! They are the problem. Not you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts/page/2#post-1660476 Fri, 13 May 2016 14:38:37 +0000 viva 1660476@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Somehow, I just know -- really know -- that whatever the hell you are wearing, Anna, you will always be the woman I notice on the street for her uniqueness and sense of fashion adventure. I'm sorry you are feeling so frustrated, and I have no words of wisdom for you, except my own selfish plea that you'll keep on keeping on. Just do you, in whatever way you can, using whatever tools work for you at this moment.</p> <p>xx&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts/page/2#post-1660472 Fri, 13 May 2016 14:34:12 +0000 Chris987 1660472@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anna I'm sorry you are not feeling so great about all of this, and I fully sympathize have been there myself. </p> <p>For&nbsp;me not feeling good about my body is a constant&nbsp;yo-yo between "it really sucks" and "time to cheer myself up a bit". I'm just trying to get that damn yo-yo to swing toward "cheer" and stay there! </p> <p></p> <p>On a more positive note&nbsp;I am LOVING all the positive and encouraging comments here....what an amazing bunch of YLFers we have! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts/page/2#post-1660292 Fri, 13 May 2016 09:11:01 +0000 Sally 1660292@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I really feel for you because I've been there. I&nbsp;lost a lot of weight several years ago but put it all back on again after a lifestyle change.&nbsp; I swore I would keep the weight off, keep exercising etc but things happen and before you know it, you're running around trying to find something to wear because nothing fits....I ended up raiding my 80 year old mothers wardrobe one day when I couldn't find any summer clothes that fit.&nbsp; One of my colleagues questioned how it could happen...she is in her 60s and has been the same weight since her 20s, but sometimes life gets in the way of exercise and worrying about what you eaet.&nbsp; &nbsp;</p> <p>I have pretty much lost the weight again, but the funny thing is a lot of people haven't really noticed the 15 kilo difference or else they are too polite to comment on my yo-yoing weight.&nbsp; As Sandy said,&nbsp;leggings are great...all&nbsp;you need are different tops to change the look and shoes always fit.&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660231 Fri, 13 May 2016 05:28:56 +0000 SandyG 1660231@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anna, your fashion vibe and intelligence has little to do with your body, as it comes from your essence. Which hasn't changed IMHO. You're on call all the time and your life sounds fragmented. It's hard at present. Ease up on yourself.</p> <p>I'm older than you but completely bonded over loving the European styles that run terribly small but look so very, very cool. I buy like crazy when I'm lean, then gain five pounds and my closet looks Fab but I have nothing to wear that fits and performs well. Unforgiving items. No room for error. 'Lather, rinse, repeat'. It's a lot of drama but not much to wear that's reliable IRL. But I love clothes! Shopping is creative, artistic, fun! Who wants the basics? And yet ...</p> <p>Please don't snear at leggings or stretch jeans for a variable, vulnerable, stressed body. (Remember I'm older than you and California is more laid back than Seattle.) I wear them nearly daily for workouts/travel/training the working&nbsp;puppies in class or field. They work hard, wash easily and relieve me of several headaches over outfits because I can move, jog, squat (dog training) even in my relatively chubby state. Un-fancy workhorses are not show ponies but perform and look good so they earn my respect. Not Fashionable but certainly Essential &nbsp;I don't need that many items so it's not expensive. If I lose 10# it's back to my Isabel Marants in a heartbeat-- !</p> <p>I bought some edgy artisan earrings and necklaces to keep my soul content and quiet with my current 'uniform'. It's all about focus. The accessories are unique and people notice them. Want a sad-but-true point? That's REALLY ALL they notice. I'm comfortable, bendable, and enjoy the attention, and get to talk fashion designers. Clothes should feel good in all ways; don't despair about stuff that doesn't 'get' you right now. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660229 Fri, 13 May 2016 05:27:20 +0000 Jeanie 1660229@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I feel your pain. &nbsp;I've been at size 12 for 10 years and have stopped frequenting the little boutiques even though they swear they have more sizes in back whenever I dare pop in. &nbsp;Of course you will always look brilliant with your shoe collection! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660149 Fri, 13 May 2016 03:53:20 +0000 Anonymous 1660149@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs, (((((Anna))))). Bodies are constantly changing and there's very little that we can do about it. You are young, beautiful, intelligent and compassionate. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660146 Fri, 13 May 2016 03:50:15 +0000 rachylou 1660146@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, I guess it is what it is - although it's ridiculous for people to, like, stop at size 6. A round up of the usual suspects...ahem, boutiques...isn't cutting it. I'll scoot over on my bench and make room for you. The boutiques in my town have dwindled period. And those left - it's all smocks. I can buy a JC Penney night gown for the same look...and did (!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660135 Fri, 13 May 2016 03:32:22 +0000 Anonymous 1660135@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think Anna is far too young for the menopause effect , but it is indeed a life changer . I SWORE I would never be of those women who gained weight , but lo and behold , I did. Anyways , that's not the issue here -it's the fact that life can throw us a hand we don't know how to play . And it's hard when we are surrounded with other women who aren't affected . There is no solution nor answer , just the knowledge that there are more of us in this situation than not . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660128 Fri, 13 May 2016 03:26:44 +0000 Dgusanl 1660128@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hear you, another inbetweenie </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660099 Fri, 13 May 2016 02:51:56 +0000 Jaime 1660099@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So much good stuff on this thread. Yes to shoes, lipstick, bags, jewelry, sunglasses, haircuts, pedicures, and lots of other stuff too. Look at new places and then decorate with the above. I guess we all believe we should accept what we cannot change, but the challenge is to know what is unchangeable and what needs to be attacked (after our shoulders are dusted by an inspiring young lady if possible). I struggle with that anyway. You be you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660091 Fri, 13 May 2016 02:40:50 +0000 Janet 1660091@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Ledonna and Zibbets, I am hearing you loud and clear on the menopause thing. I think that's a big part of what is happening with my body changes and my mood lately. Let's just say it's a good thing my husband is a very patient, good-natured man! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660085 Fri, 13 May 2016 02:24:34 +0000 Ledonna N. 1660085@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Zibbets let's not mention MP . Ugh I had early onset and feel like the fire starter kid. Imagine med winter chicago but wearing tank tops. Lol Personal summers suck. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660070 Fri, 13 May 2016 02:04:32 +0000 Zibbets 1660070@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anna, I can relate. I've gained weight recently too. I went back to work full time for the first time since having kids and apparently I'm edging toward menopause too, which isn't helping. (fun times!) Anyway, I'm not giving up or giving in and you shouldn't either. Ladonna is right, if you don't like it, change it! C'mon, we can do this! ((((hugs)))) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660056 Fri, 13 May 2016 01:54:29 +0000 Ledonna N. 1660056@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Beth Ann this is way off topic but so funny.</p> <p>"I have learned, however, to case a store or website very quickly, ....."</p> <p>I do the sane thing in the thrifts or op shops I go in. Lol </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660055 Fri, 13 May 2016 01:54:17 +0000 JAileen 1660055@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's where I am, too. I've never heard of that term. I think tweenie refers to dauschunds of inbetween size. Anyway, I blame jeans with spandex. It just sneaks up. </p> <p>I have a book out of the library: "Why we get fat and what to do about it" by Gary Taubes. He says insulin regulates our fat, so food that has a high glycemic index makes us fat - bread, potatoes, etc. I'm willing to give up those things if it works. Who knows? Anyway, a good friend lost 30 pounds in the past year or two by giving up sugar, flour, meat and dairy. She looks great and feels great. Her doctor said she was diabetic (prediabetic) and now all of her bloodwork is excellent. </p> <p>A basic wardrobe can look good with great accessories. You have lots of interesting shoes. Done. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660051 Fri, 13 May 2016 01:49:17 +0000 Beth Ann 1660051@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anna: &nbsp;No one has ever tagged me as being avant garde (except in my music tastes -- I love the weird classical music), but I do know how to shop a curvy 14 in an non-plus size world. &nbsp;As a matter of fact, plus never fits me anyway. &nbsp;Trousers, jeans and dresses are hardest, by far, particularly the upscale denim and dressy dresses. &nbsp;Tops (blouses, sweaters) are the easiest.</p> <p>Because I'm on a budget, I'm often shopping stores that have a lot of ho-hum stuff (Kohls -- I'm talking to you). &nbsp;I have learned, however, to case a store or website very quickly, skimming over the junk, and looking for the jewel hiding in the pile. &nbsp;Perhaps finding some of the more unique items at Everlane or BR, or in Nordies' mainstream lines (Vince Camuto, for example) would help through the Summer. &nbsp;</p> <p>I echo what others have said about your amazing shoes and accessories!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1660010 Fri, 13 May 2016 01:02:22 +0000 Janet 1660010@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Anna, I hear your frustration and I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I ditto Una's words, and Ledonna speaks some very good wisdom as well.</p> <p>I have total faith that you rock whatever outfits you are putting together these days -- I am also thankful that footwear, bags and accessories like jewelry aren't so subject to changes in size! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1659979 Fri, 13 May 2016 00:48:59 +0000 Anonymous 1659979@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anna: &nbsp;there isn't much anyone can say (other than LeDonna who is the queen of all good things and why haven't i met her in person yet?) that will mean much. &nbsp;Right? &nbsp;I am totally in understanding of this, I sympathize, empathize, and have no answers nor advice. Except to listen /read to LeDonna - who needs her own tv show. &nbsp;In all seriousness, I feel the same way in my own body/version of this. Acceptance is tough, because somehow to those of us who are intense,creative individuals, it signifies acquiescence. &nbsp; &nbsp;But you are so young, and still have the youth on your side that will allow you to change it , if you want to. &nbsp;At my age, it's so , so much harder. I don't know what I'm trying to say - but I do know that for a clothes loving woman, it's not a nice thing to go through. And all I can offer is a shoulder to commiserate on. And yes, lipstick and earrings and shoes always fit. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1659949 Fri, 13 May 2016 00:39:03 +0000 Anonymous 1659949@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love everything Ledonna says here, especially the nutty professor quote. And I totally agree with Style Fan. </p> <p>Anna, I am in awe of your styling talent. I have confidence that your amazing creativity will carry you through this bump in the road. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1659920 Thu, 12 May 2016 23:59:04 +0000 Ledonna N. 1659920@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>it is fustrating especially as your changing. </p> <p>How can you love your body and make the changes you need to if you don't embrace who you are.</p> <p>I come from that Army background that says if you don't like it change it. No pouting just make it happen or as my youngest neice says </p> <p>"Auntie Donna you need to just dust your shoulder off" </p> <p>I swear to you she then comes up to me and brushes my shoulder off. Lol</p> <p>Saying see there it's gone now get to it. She is 14. Hmmmmm </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/facing-facts#post-1659917 Thu, 12 May 2016 23:46:58 +0000 catgirl 1659917@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>While I love me some empowering body positivity, I also get the frustration and struggle of being told to embrace the body you have now when it's irritating the heck out of you.&nbsp; So I'll just say you rock at any size and your style shines through - I've seen it in person, after all!&nbsp; Shoes and jewelry are where it's at for these days as well.</p> <p>Also, I need you to tell me how to style the silver oxfords I posted. :D</p>