YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Fabulous Old Ladies

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Fabulous Old Ladies https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 09 Apr 2026 21:05:20 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php E on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1108446 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 06:12:29 +0000 E 1108446@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes ma'am! ETA: using ma'am in a non age-referencing sense, lol. deb on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1108442 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 06:08:13 +0000 deb 1108442@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ E, please submit this to Inge for the weekly Link Love. This is a wonderful site. E on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1108405 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 04:40:04 +0000 E 1108405@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Dianthus, you're completely right of course. Although in the US our maternity/paternity leave situation is epically tragic. :/ I have a friend who's pregnant right now; she'll get 6 weeks off, and 2 of those will be her vacation for the year. I'm not even sure all 6 weeks are paid. Grim. And when she told her boss (a woman) about the pregnancy, her boss tried to push her into working part time, even though she loves her job and is the primary breadwinner, and thus has no intention of cutting back on hours. Have you read The Invisible Heart? It's a fabulous book aimed at a general audience by a feminist economist, if you're interested in those types of issues! Really we can't catch a break... I actually popped back by this thread to link to a blog by a retired professor who now looks at fashion history, especially focusing on US women 50+: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://americanagefashion.com/">http://americanagefashion.com/</a> Peri on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107427 Sun, 08 Dec 2013 00:19:44 +0000 Peri 1107427@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Please, CocoLion! No offense taken by me personally from anyone. Please don't anyone think I am mad at you! It was just a general feeling that has been growing as I read the phrase semi-regularly, bothering me more over time. And as I said, I feel sure I have used it too and won't anymore. It's true the jammie pants post was the final trigger to talk about it, but the funny thing is I wasn't thinking of them for me at all...there wasn't a plan to purchase and my feelings weren't hurt over them. Thistle had said "where are the work pants that feel like Jammie's?" She was frustrated and I was trying to find options. That's all! CocoLion on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107406 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 23:45:35 +0000 CocoLion 1107406@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I just asked my 80-year old mother what is "old" and she said -- 80.  She has pain and mobility issues, and that is making her feel old.  For me, my "scary" old age is 85.  Because I read that 80% of people 85 and older have *some* form of dementia.  So that's what sticks with me. But to come back to the original topic, I will try to avoid referring to clothes as "old lady" from now on (it wasn't in your PJ work pants thread, I referred to them as "loungey" not "old lady" -- but I may have used that term somewhere else).  I think from now on I will try to avoid terms like "frumpy" or "dowdy" except when describing myself as in, "these make me feel frumpy."  This thread, in addition to the good philosophical content, has made me not want to hurt people's feelings when they provide a link to something they might like. deb on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107372 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 22:56:42 +0000 deb 1107372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Catnip, dead at 21? Playboy has never held a place in my mind for pro women nor anti-ageism so would have not paid attention.  Dianthus, I did not know that about Canada. Suz on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107322 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 22:02:43 +0000 Suz 1107322@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This conversation gets more interesting every minute.  cheryle (Dianthus) on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107318 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 21:58:31 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 1107318@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ E, you raise an interesting sub-topic.  You may have experienced ageism in reverse depending on where you live.  How often do you think a woman in her mid-20s to mid-30s has been passed over for a job because the employer was concerned that she would take maternity leave?  In Canada, parents are entitled to take up to one year of leave after the birth of a child and 37 weeks after the adoption of a child.  The first 15 weeks is maternity leave and must be taken by the mother but the balance is parental leave and available to either parent.  I suspect this will be the factor that evens the playing field for young women in our country. Catnip on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107316 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 21:52:39 +0000 Catnip 1107316@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What is “old”? I have a friend, a psychologist, who is very interested in aging.  She recently told me that studies have found that thinking you are old can make you feel physically older than you would feel if you thought of yourself as being younger.  In other words, how you feel about your age has a significant effect on your physical well-being. I remember many years ago Playboy Magazine announced on its cover that “THE AMERICAN WOMAN IS DEAD AT 21”.  I think I was about 23 at the time, and this did not make me feel good.  The implication, of course, was that a female at 21 was too old to be physically attractive.  So let’s admit that we have made some progress. Gaylene on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107313 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 21:51:45 +0000 Gaylene 1107313@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ "Lamb, hogget, and mutton are the meat of domestic sheep. The meat of a sheep in its first year is lamb; that of a juvenile sheep older than one year is hogget; and the meat of an adult sheep is mutton." Wikipedia Lyn, the above description gives rise to a possible third option: "Mutton dressed as hogget while referencing the spirit of lamb"? (Until the first bite when the distinctive flavor leaves no doubt as to what is on your plate.) E on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107290 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 21:22:09 +0000 E 1107290@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I love being able to follow this conversation, and I haven't joined in yet because as a 27 year old, I've yet to face old/older age discrimination. But I just wanted to say that all through my 20s, I did not consider people in their 50s old, or lump them in with the next generation! In my mind, my grandmother, now approaching 80, is old. My mother, at 53, is not. And one of my best friends in the entire world is in her late 40s; I actually feel more a generation gap between me and her kids (17/13/10) than between us! I certainly do not think of her as old. deb on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107289 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 21:21:18 +0000 deb 1107289@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ dianthus, I totally agree with you on the wage issue. Why are we still having this conversation after all these years? It makes me angry. Lyn D. on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107283 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 21:14:03 +0000 Lyn D. 1107283@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The ultimate ageism - The only thing worse than 'Mutton dressed as Lamb'-   'Mutton dressed as Mutton' (!) MsMary on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107256 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 20:40:21 +0000 MsMary 1107256@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I completely agree with that, Dianthus.  But it's all intertwoven and I think the discriminatory language makes it easy to perpetuate the other types of discrimination. cheryle (Dianthus) on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107251 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 20:34:32 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 1107251@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Perhaps the concessions are not that far off.  I used to wear heels a lot but don't any longer because they cause pain.  I used to wear low backed dresses for formal wear and don't any longer because it is harder to find the appropriate undergarments. I think most of us have shifted as we've aged but don't see it necessarily as concessions to age but rather to an evolution of our style. I read MaryK's comments and while I agree, the bigger issue is wage discrimination or the gender pay gap.  I find it offensive that a woman earns on average only 72% of what a man in a comparable position earns.  To me, that is the big issue.  Call me what you want to call me as long as you treat me as the equal to a man who does the same work at the same level.  I will now slither off my soap box. Jean Gray on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/4#post-1107231 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 20:15:10 +0000 Jean Gray 1107231@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Loving this conversation. This is why I admire the women of YLF so much. Peri on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107169 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 18:46:39 +0000 Peri 1107169@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes Isis, that's what I meant. And yes, Gaylene. We need to send this thread to the clothing industry. Given that some amount of clothing concessions are in the future...however far off...for all of us if we are lucky enough to get that far, let's put it on them to make more beautiful clothing than what is currently offered to meet those needs. Anonymous on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107167 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 18:45:24 +0000 Anonymous 1107167@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ If you all saw what I look like the first half the day lounging around in my slumpy clothes with my bed hair and no make-up I'm pretty sure I would look like an "old lady" or "old woman"  I don't really see the difference.  I do agree it's relative to what as younger women we saw older women wearing.  When I was a child  "old women" didn't wear jeans.  In my 20s "old women" wore jeans and dressed in general younger.  It's really just what society has decided in the moment is young or old. I think there are trailblazers too, the ones that keep moving with fashion instead of staying stuck in their generation. Sometimes these ladies are said to be "mutton dressed as lamb" ( gosh, I hate that phrase).  As the number of these lamb dressed ladies rise so do the expectations. The ones that adapt are youthful the ones that don't are "old ladies".   I have trouble understanding labels.  For example why is it OK for women to wear their husbands clothing without being labeled but if my husband wore my clothes he would be cross-dressing. Anyway, there's no escaping it. Unless I die now I'm just going to get older. What the heck is wrong with being old anyway.  I'm a crone, and really that means nothing. Suz on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107157 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 18:27:30 +0000 Suz 1107157@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Totally hear you on that one, Gaylene -- and I think there is a dearth of great style for older or differently abled women. It's a huge hole in the market waiting to be filled. Someone had better get on it soon because if they do a good job there are a heck of a lot of us who will be all over it!  Gaylene on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107154 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 18:24:16 +0000 Gaylene 1107154@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I want to second everything that Mary K just wrote about women in their 50s considering themselves "old ladies". That's usurping a term that rightfully belongs to women in age group that is looming ahead of me as I venture into the realm of 65 and beyond. For most of us, the realities of aging won't kick in until our late sixties and seventies until they hit with a bang in our eighties and nineties. Isis's link to an earlier YLF discussion about trying to find appropriate clothing for our aging mothers, though, is a good wake-up call on how hard it might be to maintain our stylish selves in our latter decades. I get Suz's point about there being an "old lady" style that most of us use to describe a subset of clothing that veers towards the "assisted living/senior condo-dweller" look; we might understand why our "elderly" mothers wear this type of clothing, but certainly can't ever visualize it as our go-to outfit choice. See, my problem is that pictures of "super" seniors who share closets with their 30-year-old daughters and celebrities who drop thousands of dollars on custom-made designer clothes don't seem--I don't know--realistic? The big issue seems to me to be, if we know what we don't want style-wise ("old lady style"), then how do we meld dressing stylishly with the practical issues that will confront us--a wide variety of body shapes and sizes, limited budgets, and maybe some very real on-going health issues. Because, I'll tell you right now, giving up my J Crew skinnies for Alfred Dunner and some unnamed section at the back of Walmart doesn't thrill me one bit. deb on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107139 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 18:05:05 +0000 deb 1107139@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Good point, Mo. So we should not say 'that looks like something a girl or an old woman would wear"? If that is the case, where does 'dressing our age' fit in? Suz on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107134 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 18:02:39 +0000 Suz 1107134@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Actually, Isis and Peri -- sometimes we do say "that's like something X ethnic (or social) group would wear." Those discussions have come up quite often on the forum. I recall in particular Modgrl has had some threads (the Russian party threads) where we've gone over this. And these discussions have revealed prejudices -- yes -- as well as aesthetic differences. But they've been interesting and enlightening for all involved. And I think Rita found them helpful. Through them, she was able to strike a balance between what the social group might expect of her and what felt comfortable or authentic to her in that situation. Knowing how others outside the social group  might perceive the outfits was a useful part of that.  Mary, I like what you said.  MsMary on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107133 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 18:01:51 +0000 MsMary 1107133@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes, Mo! As I said above, I think any time we start to put modifiers with the term "woman," we start to get on slightly thin ice.  Me personally, I would hate to be called an "older woman."  Honestly, there are few contexts in which that information is relevant.  Certainly not at work or in public life.  If you need to describe me to a stranger, you can guess at my age if you like, which would be more helpful than "old woman" or "older woman," which could mean anything from 35 to 90, depending on the hearer's biases. LOL, I think "Baby Boomer" is actually quite handy for describing the general age range!  Mo on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107127 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 17:55:31 +0000 Mo 1107127@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think it's important to note the difference in calling an outfit or item of clothing 'old lady' or 'teenybopper' and calling a person those terms.  deb on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107121 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 17:45:59 +0000 deb 1107121@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think each of us have terms that push our buttons, (for lack of a better term). Mary's is 'old woman', mine is 'girl'. My question is how are we to know which terms are ok and which are not. In all honesty I do not mind being called an old woman even though I do not fell like an 'old woman', just do not call me a 'girl'. Is it OK to use the term 'older woman' for someone in their 50's?  Mo on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107097 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 17:25:19 +0000 Mo 1107097@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Are yoga pants the polyester stretch pants of Gen Y?   HAHAHAHAH!!!  YES!  Yes, they are!  And will millenials laugh at me listening to that 'old music' when I've got Van Halen or Soundgarden on in 20 years?  Probably.  HA! MsMary on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107095 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 17:23:46 +0000 MsMary 1107095@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ No, but as Suz pointed out we would and so say "That's something a teen would wear, and it may not be what you're going for." Honestly, although I'm generally always ready to get up on my high horse about things like this, I think "old lady" is a term I don't ever want to have applied to me, for reasons I explained above.  When I am in, say, my 80s, I will be an old WOMAN who still won't want to dress like an "old lady."  LOL I think in fashion it has a specific meaning and I'm not all that bothered by it in that context. ETA: That was for Isis. Una, yes!  Yoga pants are definitely the stretch pants of Gen Y!  Too funny! catgirl on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107094 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 17:22:40 +0000 catgirl 1107094@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Here's a related thought - isn't our age itself effectively an component of our outfit and style?  We have discussed this in other contexts.  An outfit that might be frumpy on one Fabber might be killer on another, because each person brings their own persona to the mix, be it hair, attitude, stance, and yes, age AND beliefs about age.  I don't aspire to seem either younger or older than I am (I was more horrified than flattered that a 24 year old tried to pick me up on the beach this week, leading my brother to call me a cougar).  Rather, I aspire to be MYSELF.  Coloring my hair blue may seem "young", but I didn't do it for that reason, or did I avoid it for that reason.   How does intentionality fit into this discussion?  Is defaulting to stretch pants different than putting them on as a conscious fashion choice?  Are yoga pants the polyester stretch pants of Gen Y? As usual, I have more questions than wisdom to offer! Isis on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107089 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 17:15:56 +0000 Isis 1107089@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ah, now I understand, Mary, "one 50somthing plays the "old lady" card, it tends to make it just the tiniest bit harder for the rest of us to be taken seriously as vital people who should be respected and reckoned with"…. Also it just occurred to me that when a 57 yr old plays the old lady card, it also denies the reality of the elderly.  I am not leading the life of an elderly woman.   Still, in the confines of my home, I do enjoy calling myself an old lady! As for Suz's comment, I think Peri is pointing out that when we call something "old lady" it is always negative.   That is the danger of prejudice, isn't it?  We'd never say "that is something (insert ethnic group) would wear, and it is not you" in a similarly negative way.   Disclaimer:  I do wear SAS sandals…. MsMary on "Fabulous Old Ladies" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/fabulous-old-ladies/page/3#post-1107076 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 17:08:07 +0000 MsMary 1107076@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ A couple of more thoughts... I agree with Suz that I, for one, do not wish to look like an old lady, given that I am not one, so feedback in that regard is helpful to me.  Ditto looking like a teenager. Also, on the bigger question, I feel like women tend to be self-deprecating to a fault, which can lead to our not being taken as seriously as we should, and I think a fiftysomething woman referring to herself as an "old lady" plays right into that.  And back to "the personal is political," when one 50somthing plays the "old lady" card, it tends to make it just the tiniest bit harder for the rest of us to be taken seriously as vital people who should be respected and reckoned with.  (Again, with all love and respect to everyone who is participating in this awesome conversation!)