https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 09 Apr 2026 17:52:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115772 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 23:41:34 +0000 unfrumped 1115772@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It was forever before I noticed the buttons, and they still don't come naturally to me, so I always forget to mark them.</p> <p>I'm&nbsp;peachy with live and let live. I certainly don't expect any apologies or explanations for coming or going, though. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115764 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 23:34:14 +0000 Aziraphale 1115764@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Laura, the appreciation buttons have been here for as long as I've been participating, which is a least three, possibly four years. With the site redesign they became more obvious.</p> <p>All of your points are valid. We come here for different reasons. I'm not so much with the posting of outfits, as I rarely desire feedback there. But I enjoy the approximation of ordinary conversation that you get on some threads (remember, I was a bored, isolated&nbsp;housewife until a recent change in&nbsp;circumstances allowed me to re-enter the adult world). That's why I don't always post on your threads, IK. There's no ill will; it's just that I'm unlikely to get a response, so unless it's a question I really feel like answering, I don't click. &nbsp;:-)</p> <p>What the site really could use is an "I appreciate the response" button. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115755 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 23:21:49 +0000 ironkurtin 1115755@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There you go, LAC.&nbsp; Your very own button. : ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115749 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 23:16:48 +0000 LACeleste 1115749@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I totally get tech limitations but if someone responds, I try to use the buttons. &nbsp;I am grateful they make an acknowledgment so easy.</p> <p>I am relatively new and really appreciate how welcoming the forum is. &nbsp;I particularly appreciate responses to my threads that are mundane or of limited interest.</p> <p>Whatever works for other people is fine but I would never try too hard to earn a button. &nbsp;(I am super competitive by nature but earning buttons is not why I am here)&nbsp;One of the things I love about this forum is that people can be themselves and be genuine.</p> <p>That being said, I really want to earn a button from you IK! You have a lot of style cred in my book!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115741 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 22:51:28 +0000 Caro in Oz 1115741@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't question anyone's right to their own approach &amp; I understand not being logged in. </p> <p><b>For me</b> if someone takes the time to respond to my post I want to let them know I appreciate it&nbsp;- either by typing my response&nbsp;directly or if I don't have time for that then by using the buttons. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115733 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 22:45:35 +0000 ironkurtin 1115733@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm with Laura.&nbsp; Also, as an editor, I am VERY fussy about words.&nbsp; Not every response I get is funny, soothing, wise, boosting, or a solution.&nbsp; When I get responses that merit those tags, I tag them.&nbsp; But I don't think every response I get should automatically get a tag.&nbsp; And I disagree that makes me socially parsimonious, but rather that it gives value to when I respond.</p> <p>Plus, I usually read YLF on my ipad mini and the buttons are impossible to press.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115689 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 21:04:48 +0000 Anonymous 1115689@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think apologies are necessary, but it does help to know when people are out for a while. It's hard to keep up with everybody and everything, ya know? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115685 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 21:00:14 +0000 Ariadne 1115685@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What Janet said. &nbsp;I try to respond as much as I can, but my life is very full and if I felt I needed to respond to every comment individually, or check in every day, or anything like that, I'd not be able to participate at all because I don't have enough time or energy. &nbsp;I grab five minutes here, ten minutes there, thirty seconds elsewhere, and sometimes go for days without checking in at all just because of life taking priority. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115677 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 20:42:34 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1115677@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can't always use the buttons because I often read replies on my phone, or on my tablet when im not logged into the site (although I'm getting better about remembering my password (i have it autosaved on my laptop) since I can't see photos when not logged in anymore). The buttons are relatively new, too; they were added with the site redesign which was what, early this year? Last year? So that might explain, Amy K, why some of us who have been here for a long time don't use the buttons as much, or consider them an optional flourish for particularly helpful or insightful replies. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115636 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 19:20:23 +0000 minimalist 1115636@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm with Aziraphale in my understanding of the buttons' function. A reply means that the person bothered to read my post and formulate a response. That merits at the very least a click on "boost," IMO. It's not like I'm going to be penalized for showing too much acknowledgment of other YLFers' time, effort and insight.</p> <p>I don't consciously keep a tally of who uses buttons, but if I've replied to several of a person's posts and don't see any button action, for all I know they'd prefer not to read my n00b replies in their threads. No offense taken; I'd rather spend time participating in topics of people who welcome that. </p> <p>Buttons are so easy to use, that not using them seems socially parsimonious and isn't in line with how I try to interact with fellow humans. But it's interesting to hear the view of buttons as something to be used "with discretion." Fair enough; I don't laugh at every joke I hear. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115561 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 17:33:31 +0000 Aziraphale 1115561@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No worries, Dana. Good to know you do read them. And while&nbsp;I see your point -- it is a public forum, of course -- I feel there's more normal human communication going on here. It's the only forum I've ever participated in, and that's the reason. Other forums feel like they increase isolation. The odd time I've tried&nbsp;posting on others, and my words just hang there in cyberspace. It's an empty form of communication for me. Angie's forum, on the other hand, feels like a big group conversation. It's more fun.</p> <p>The buttons help solve the "I don't have time" problem. They are a quick way of showing that I appreciate the feedback, even if I can't respond to everyone individually.</p> <p>And I do click on your posts sometimes (like this time) because you ask interesting questions. Also, your occasional feedback on my threads tends to be intelligent and concise -- qualities I respect. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115489 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 15:49:01 +0000 ironkurtin 1115489@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It sounds like different people do have very different approaches.&nbsp; FWIW, I do check back on my threads, so if you comment, I see it.&nbsp; But I don't see my posting as a conversation at all, because it isn't one to one, it's one to many on a public forum.&nbsp; If that makes people less likely to check out what I'm wearing, I guess that's how it goes.&nbsp; I don't see anyone as under any obligation to interact with my own posts on their outfits either, TBH.&nbsp; I had no idea people put so much importance on those buttons; I thought of them as to be handed out with discretion as opposed to a mandatory act.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115482 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 15:37:50 +0000 Aziraphale 1115482@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think it's rude, Dana, but it <i>is</i> the reason I sometimes hesitate to click on your posts. I see these threads as conversations. With yours, it tends to be one-way.&nbsp;I often think, well she's not going to respond anyway, or even click the buttons, so I'm going to spend time answering and I won't even know if she's read it.&nbsp;</p> <p>I guess that sort of explains my approach, too. It's true that&nbsp;I don't always have time to respond individually to everybody, although I try, because I feel like it should be a conversation --&nbsp;but I do always click the buttons so they know I've read it and appreciate the response. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115469 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 15:21:12 +0000 Amy 1115469@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I sometimes worry that I don't respond enough to comments or say enough on others' threads. Participating on the forum requires a lot of time and it's often hard to juggle between online and offline time. I value each and every comment posted on my threads even if I don't respond to each. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115186 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 02:05:09 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1115186@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think there are different types of threads, too - I try to reply to everyone who replies to my WIWs and K/Rs, or at least hit the little 'wisdom/boost/etc' buttons. It's like being polite enough to say thanks to someone who bothered to reply to your email. (Even though sometimes when it takes me a few days to get back to it, I feel awkward replying and thus bumping the thread back up to the first page when all I am saying is thanks for the reply.)</p> <p>In comparison, there are topics that are less personal, if you will, more general about shopping, wardrobes, style trends, etc, and I don't always feel like I need to reply personally to everyone's points. They've become more of a group discussion at a party that has its own rhythm and sometimes goes off on tangents. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115155 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 01:20:44 +0000 Janet 1115155@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love this forum, but daily life can be messy and overwhelming, and frankly, sometimes I go weeks without speaking to my dearest, oldest friends, so I totally understand anyone who lapses in responses or participation. I'm certainly not keeping tabs on anyone else's activity here, and doubt anyone is taking that close of a notice of mine. </p> <p>I do try to use the buttons to acknowledge comments on threads I start, as Mo and others mentioned. I do my best to keep up, and enjoy when time allows me to be a little more involved. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1115113 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 00:09:53 +0000 minimalist 1115113@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very helpful discussion, as I'm still far from figuring out what interaction style is both gracious and feasible for me. </p> <p>I don't find apologies necessary from others, but appreciate a heads up. When I didn't see Shannon's posts for a few days, I worried a bit then went to her profile page and was relieved to see she'd been active a few hours before. Stalker much?! </p> <p>Sometimes, it takes me ages to get back to a thread I started, because I want to write a cohesive response but don't have the mental bandwidth. I definitely use the buttons, though ...and wonder a bit about those who consistently don't. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1114833 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 17:22:06 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 1114833@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't feel like apologies are necessary, for replies/no replies,&nbsp;or for disappearing!&nbsp; &nbsp;This is an online forum, with a delightful, charming community - but we all have real lives, making claims on our time and attention. &nbsp; &nbsp;I mean, come on... we all have to fund our fashion habits, right? &nbsp; &nbsp;:D &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I would love to be able to reply to every gorgeous outfit I see here! &nbsp; But I don't have the time. &nbsp; So you will have to take it on faith, that I think this forum has some of&nbsp;the loveliest, most creative, and talented people that I have (n)ever met! &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1114820 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 16:53:37 +0000 pastrygirl 1114820@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oops, I just posted a thread about posting WIW as kind of a hit-and-runner, but I don't think it was me being talked about here! Or maybe it was, but it doesn't bother me -- I'm so utterly unoffended online. It's a thread I've been wanting to post for a while and happened to coincide with this thread.</p> <p>I don't mind the apology posts, or the posts that get bumped by the original poster, or posts where the author doesn't reply. But like I said, I'm not easily offended, especially online. Though I do wonder if my lack of being offended sometimes offend, because I don't get as invested&nbsp;as others do. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies/page/2#post-1114800 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 16:23:11 +0000 deb 1114800@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am with Mo, I use the buttons. I thought that was the appropriate thing to do. I have never belonged to any other online forum so I did no know if there was a certain etiquette or not. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies#post-1114793 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 16:16:16 +0000 marianna 1114793@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, Mo. I guess I never really thought about the "give and take" on the forum. I do use the buttons to show appreciation, though. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies#post-1114787 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 16:12:58 +0000 Mo 1114787@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Heh, Marianna, no it wasn't you. &nbsp;And as I said, it's all good. &nbsp;It works for that person. &nbsp;I like a little more give and take, myself, but that's me. &nbsp;She's free to utilize the forum any way she needs or sees fit. &nbsp;<br />I like to use the buttons so folks know I saw and appreciated their response without writing up a written response each time. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies#post-1114786 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 16:09:11 +0000 marianna 1114786@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I used to be a very regular forum member and I disappeared years ago. I never felt like I needed to provide an apology. My lifestyle just changed and I got busier. I do read daily (more than once daily) I just don't really ever comment.</p> <p>Mo, I don't know if you're referring to me as the poster who has been here for years and only pops in to posts WIWs occasionally... but that strung a cord with me because that has been my pattern lately. If that is bad forum etiquette then I apologize for that&nbsp;(I do feel the need to apologize for bad etiquette as I definitely don't want to rub anyone the wrong way). But... the forum for me is a leisurely activity and sometimes I feel like popping in to post a WIW. And other times I don't. So... it is what it is. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies#post-1114676 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 09:39:31 +0000 rachylou 1114676@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't feel it's rude to start a thread and not get back to it, or not respond. So I don't feel apologies are required. I don't think one is required to announce they're going away. This is in part because of the nature of the medium, and in part because I'm so old I remember the days when people were far away from you and you couldn't see them in person daily - well, you took it for granted they'd fallen off the ends of the earth.</p> <p>But I can hardly fault anyone for giving a heads up or discussing the subjects they brought up themselves. Haha! And of course we miss people when they go away... Everyone is important here, one of the reasons I like YLF so much. Everyone is important here because everyone is important! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies#post-1114672 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 09:26:08 +0000 Anonymous 1114672@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with everything Deborah said. I think it's important to thank people and I view threads as a conversation. I think it's only polite and how I was brought up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies#post-1114667 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 09:04:14 +0000 Debra 1114667@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>YLF is a lovely forum, it seems to me that people become friends and care about each other. It is just nice to know if someone will be absent so as not to worry.<br /> Is that the Mum coming out in us :)<br /> Have a great holiday Neel, make sure all those party clothes get a workout </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies#post-1114654 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 08:29:05 +0000 jayne 1114654@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It is like meeting new people, we all have different styles and after you know someone a few, hmm, maybe years, you know their style and are likely to say 'oh don't worry, she is always like that' to a new friend in the group.&nbsp; On the forum it is recorded, our behaviour, so it is easier for newcomer to see that some do the quick one liner and a rare longer response, and some always come with long thought through and well phrased paragraphs.&nbsp; Each style is fun to get used to, it makes it feel like we know each other. </p> <p>I think most people, in the course of their time here, have tried to explain why they choose their way of responding.&nbsp; And although I don't judge, it is nice to get that explanation once in while, to know the person better.&nbsp; Apologies for absences are just another form of that.&nbsp; Thanks to those who do it, especially those very active members, and I am cool with those who don't.&nbsp; I just enjoy myself popping in when I can and appreciate that I am accepted for that. &nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies#post-1114648 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 08:15:27 +0000 Neel 1114648@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you Deborah :). I will miss you all too! I hope I don't have any fashion emergencies during my time away! I won't have YLF to fall back on </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies#post-1114583 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 04:51:17 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1114583@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>For the record, my own recent apology thread was not about my being absent per se, but more about my not having time to comment on other people's posts with the same regularity as they post on mine. I want to give to the forum as well as receive.</p> <p>Personally I also like to at least give a blanket thank you and acknowlegment to those who comment on my threads since they have taken the time and consideration to do so. I don't consider a thank you bumping a thread.</p> <p>Like Deborah I consider threads to be conversations and want to do my best to treat them accordingly. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/etiquette-all-the-apologies#post-1114578 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 04:48:46 +0000 jen 1114578@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mmmm... I comment about once every two months, I think people have no idea who I am ;)</p>