YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Ephemera

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Ephemera https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 09 Apr 2026 14:06:46 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Sal on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400879 Mon, 15 Dec 2025 00:44:04 +0000 Sal 2400879@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It is an interesting discussion and I can see why the topic is emotional.  Having cleaned out three- four wardrobes from people who have passed away it's very personal job to undertake. I find I am worrying less about clothing than ever recently.  My wardrobe and clothes are one the least stressful parts of my life.  And I even use it as a distraction when I can't sleep eg what are five outfits featuring my new tee shirt.  I don't always like my outfits and can have regret, mostly over something that didn't wear well or I spent too much on or was a poor choice - and for me the more common situation is when I ruin something through ripping it or staining it. Helena on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400861 Sun, 14 Dec 2025 21:03:50 +0000 Helena 2400861@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Such a rich discussion. I have to admit I'm in a rather depressed place at the moment (not severe or clinical thank God, but a solid case of the blues) and trying to find the fight balance between stubborn defiance and graceful aging, and what that means for my outward expressions, inducing style. It's therapeutic to know I'm not alone and also to read everyone's more positive outlooks too. Xx UmmLila (Lisa) on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400854 Sun, 14 Dec 2025 20:17:50 +0000 UmmLila (Lisa) 2400854@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I always find it interesting to see how people approach their clothing as self expression. I love trying to figure out where people are from based on what they have chosen to wear. This year, I’ve been trying to make my own occasions to wear what I love. I realized that you can’t reach out to friends and make plans to enjoy each others’ company often enough. And what I wear for my fairly small social occasions is rarely in line with my environmental norms (either Spanish mountain village or small New Hampshire city) but as long as I’m warm enough and my shoes will not endanger me on ice or cobblestones, I’m fine with second looks or comments. I take them as compliments. LJP on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400836 Sun, 14 Dec 2025 17:30:04 +0000 LJP 2400836@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks , unfrumped, for commiserating and understanding. Janet on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400813 Sun, 14 Dec 2025 13:36:35 +0000 Janet 2400813@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This thread is interesting food for thought! I definitely act and (mostly) think as though I’m going to live forever, in a way. I do what I want to do, within my own personal tolerances, which have very little to do with age. That said, the big 6-0 was a little sobering this year and reminded me that our time is finite. A voice in me said, “don’t keep putting off the things you want to do: walk the Camino, visit Japan and New Zealand, etc.” So I started planning and did the first, with the others soon behind. Reach out to my friends who have been a bit out of touch. Treasure what I have. Share with others. It’s not awful to acquire new things, but keep it mindful. Like Lisa, I had the experience of packing up all my mom’s things after she passed, and there was a LOT. It definitely makes me think about who will deal with my stuff someday and how. But it also reminded me to use what I have and love and not save it for some undetermined “good” occasion. Jaime on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400797 Sun, 14 Dec 2025 01:13:46 +0000 Jaime 2400797@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So many interesting thoughts on this thread! But first, I have recently finished "Gear" and highly recommend it. I didn't think I would be so into it (although I have listened to all of Avery Trufelman's previous podcasts and love them) because I am not a gear person per se but the series is about so much more than gear. As the lead (aka only) curator (aka sorter ) for two thriving charity shops I do spend a lot of time thinking about clothes. What people wear, what they give away, what they buy and so on. I can guess a lot about a person from the stuff they donate (hard to have proof of concept of course). Clothes do matter, I do think it would be hard to disentangle our perception or understanding of another person from their physical presentation and style is the part we have the most control over (notwithstanding all the plastic surgery going on, but that is part of style too). I actually want to go further rather than recede as I age.  unfrumped on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400787 Sat, 13 Dec 2025 22:29:43 +0000 unfrumped 2400787@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ LJP— your comment resonated so much with me. And actually— not just clothing, but all “ stuff” that’s more than the bare essentials. Things like holiday decor, things I love like table linens and some extra dishes and serving are, furniture. Because I downsized a bit 4 years ago but still have generous space, and am seeing, and sometimes helping. friends and family downsize more severely until , hah, the ultimate downsize. So can easily be thinking, not only hmm, maybe not many more of this wardrobing, or that type of gathering, then later on ( or poof. anytime really) this or that amount of mobility. It IS easy to get down & morbid about all that, especially for me this time of year, the waning daylight- need to get those early sun rays! But also good to keep focusing on experiences, people relationships, giving back, rather than accumulating things. Moth and rust , as the Bible says. But my rambling point, circling back to fashion, or more to style, is your comment made me think more about wardrobe curation and , making the most, or making more, of the opportunities I do have, and making more opportunities that align my style fun with occasions. Like wearing my best but still occasion- appropriate outfits, being “ environmental norm- adjacent “. Resisting buying random “cheaper” ( the look, not just price) items I don’t need, but being focused on wardrobe holes for typical occasions or aspirational occasions that could actually happen. It could mean letting go of some dressier items that I’ve held onto but actually don’t work not just because of occasion- lack, but because they aren’t quite right in fit or color or what it goes with, and yet I felt, well I shouldn’t buy anything else in that category because… So think there’s room for re-awakening style ! And not just loungewear! But more focused and streamlined. judy on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400768 Sat, 13 Dec 2025 14:57:02 +0000 judy 2400768@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My wardrobe has shrunk due to many reasons and circumstances...but my joy in my items has surely not.  I've also cleaned up clothing and possessions after others have gone, and it can be a difficult time. But it's also a sign of what they loved, however temporal.   I don't think it's a bad thing to live as if you are not old or never going to die.  I heard a piece on NPR yesterday that studies show that people who think that way often live longer and better ( and healthier) than those who don't because they are much more engaged in life and with other people (or in this case, style and fashion).  They cited the example of Mel Brooks, who at age 99 just signed on for a project to be released when he is 101 !  LJP on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400739 Fri, 12 Dec 2025 23:21:01 +0000 LJP 2400739@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Dee has the right attitude, of course.  It's being realistic about the size of your wardrobe once your opportunities and needs diminish.......that is my issue.  I will never forget bagging up   my mother's clothes after her death - it's a sobering experience .  Sorry, I'll stop with this train of thought. I've been in a funk for awhile now . Angie on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400732 Fri, 12 Dec 2025 20:26:08 +0000 Angie 2400732@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Dee, WELL SAID. I am with you!!! I enjoy fashion and style more than ever. Like Irina, it continues to fill me with positive energy! It does the opposite of making me sad. LOTS makes me very sad, but my wardrobe, managing it, and helping others with theirs, does not Suz on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400731 Fri, 12 Dec 2025 19:21:38 +0000 Suz 2400731@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What Dee said!  Off to read the article and maybe follow up with the podcast, too! Thanks, Lisa.  I'm a huge fan of Articles of Interest but have not tuned in yet this season.  Dee on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400729 Fri, 12 Dec 2025 19:10:40 +0000 Dee 2400729@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Well, we’ve got to clothed ourselves everyday, so why not wear clothes that bring you some joy and reflect how you want to present yourself to the world. After all, I’m not dead yet! Irina on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400727 Fri, 12 Dec 2025 18:52:01 +0000 Irina 2400727@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think about it, too. Find it ironic that I finally have time to dedicate it to fashion and nowhere to go in my outfits :) I’m hoping to learn how to “artfully downsize “ my wardrobe and my desires. I’m getting older but not ready to give up fashion. It still gives me positive energy.  Roberta on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400712 Fri, 12 Dec 2025 17:45:15 +0000 Roberta 2400712@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am also at a point of wondering about my lifelong interest in fashion and style. It is hard to put into words, but I feel that the realm (sphere?)  of my personal expression is shrinking. I no longer have work life to dress up for, my feet are unforgiving of stylish but uncomfortable shoes, and my body has changed enough that I no longer feel comfortable in shorter hemlines and close fitting tops. The bright and contrasting colors that were my trademark are beginning to feel a little garish (on me). That all is very negative, so I try to focus on enjoying lovely neutrals, stylish denim, and the expensive shoes that I can now afford. :-)  Bill Nighy has visual excerpts from his podcast on his Insta and he is delightful. Carla on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400705 Fri, 12 Dec 2025 16:04:42 +0000 Carla 2400705@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ LOL!  I was looking at my grey wool coat and thinking it might be my last ever ‘dress’ coat since I hope it will last a long time, and I figure I’ve got 20 more years to wear it.  Then I spend an afternoon with my 88 yo mother - who buys two new sweaters and a silver cuff and is campaigning for me to drive her into the Big City to a mall so she can shop for brown pants (amongst other things!)  I’m still keenly interested in fashion and style.  Probably more in style now, than ever!  My motto at the moment is: ‘never surrender!’ LJP on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400702 Fri, 12 Dec 2025 15:42:58 +0000 LJP 2400702@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Interesting , and I know that I am fighting this very thing -in reverse . I am keenly aware that most of my days of fashion , shopping , having occasions to wear great clothes ….are behind me . I’m not sure where this morbid thought process has come from - but it explains my attitude toward fashion now . Angie on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400699 Fri, 12 Dec 2025 14:43:33 +0000 Angie 2400699@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Interesting! Thanks, UmmLila. I'm enjoying audiobooks more than podcasts at the moment, although that might change! As for the quote, not sure if this is fably encouraging .... or wildly depressing ;)  judy on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400698 Fri, 12 Dec 2025 14:29:01 +0000 judy 2400698@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh this sounds so good!  I am definitely going to tune in.  Thanks for heads up.  ( if you are looking for more podcasts, a new one is "Ill-Advised with Bill Nighy"...who is an older actor you will surely recognize. It's very funny, and only a half hour)  UmmLila (Lisa) on "Ephemera" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ephemera#post-2400692 Fri, 12 Dec 2025 06:28:44 +0000 UmmLila (Lisa) 2400692@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Maybe I need to start being a podcast listener: ““Everything has trends and styles, but the thing about fashions in clothing is that they’re so external,” she says. They are an expression of your lived experience at that moment; and for some people, that feels like facing their own mortality. “Everybody wants to pretend that they’re not going to die: they’re going to live for ever, their tastes are eternal and they are not living in time. Fashion is an expression of your temporality, an acknowledgment that this too shall pass.” <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2025/dec/11/articles-of-interest-fashion-podcast-avery-trufelman" rel="nofollow">https://www.theguardian.com/fa.....-trufelman</a>