https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 10 May 2026 19:07:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident/page/2#post-608025 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 05:23:45 +0000 fashionista 608025@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Before YLF, I used to buy every item that caught my eye making it closet orphans too often.</p> <p>My clothes' closet and my shoes' closet were overfilled and my mum always nagged me for buying too many things that I didn't wear. Shopping without goals and impulse buys gave me high for sometime (I was depressed, bored and alone since my boyfriend was away for work to Qatar for a year). But then after the purchase, at home, I would try on those things and then suddenly realise it didn't fit my style, my lifestyle and my wardrobe drawers too. I would then regret my buys. I had wardrobe filled of clothes and shoes but I had nothing to wear.</p> <p>Then I realised I was drowning in debts (can you believe it???) and my clothes huge piles. So then one day I promised myself I would change my purchase habit and buy only the most necessary things and wardrobe staples and/or workhorses. </p> <p>I surfed internet, went through articles, signed in YLF, made a list of necessary and some luxury items that one could own and started building my wardrobe around these staples. I made a determination that I would stick to my resolution and now I have taken up YLF as my hobby instead of shopping. I buy only the most necessary things to fill my wardrobe holes and now I have one of the most fantastic wardrobe as I tell myself. </p> <p>I am stil on SYC and SYB, and whenever I feel like going shopping I sign in YLF and see all you ladies and my urge to shop is satisfied. I am content and happy now. </p> <p>Yes I do give myself a large shopping treat myself but I stick to my resolution of SYC, SYB and no impulse buying that will make me regret later.</p> <p>Give your self some treat ManidipaM sometimes because SYC and SYB can be emotionally draining sometimes. So follow them but do shop physically sometimes to make yourself happy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident/page/2#post-607998 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 04:38:57 +0000 ManidipaM 607998@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Christieanne, missed your last post, sorry! So helpful too! You asked about capsules...</p> <p>Yes, I need one, or rather SIX as you outlined! PLUS two more I suspect (not counting swim/gym). And yes, it certainly helps a lot as I don't have the budget to do a full fast&amp;furious closet overhaul. </p> <p>I've got my colours sorta sorted --- in my head at least! The practical issues I run into are these: (1) I make capsules, then find I have nothing to wear because key pieces are in the wash; the heat makes repeating garments harder, so I guess I just need larger capsules? (2) I'm, er, rather deficient on pants and skirts right now after the Great Purge of 2012. </p> <p>Capsules I need:<br /> Home base 1/ work-at-home capsule 1 --- covered for heat and quick errands, even if pants and skirts are less than ideal; but not an urgent place to shop.</p> <p>Home base 2/work-at-home capsule 2 --- not sure! was staying in friend's homes and guesthouses when I went back last month, and have no idea what closet (in storage) holds until we find an apartment to rent.</p> <p>Home base 2/office 2 --- yes, layering needed for sure! Arizona-ish outdoors and Arctic-ish indoors! Realized I could use a couple of lightweight toppers that aren't too casual, but they are lower priority than closed shoes (I'll have Smurfy toes pretty soon I fear) and pants (I'd like a non-denim option once in a while, and skirts or dresses aren't so handy with the hot-to-cold transition)</p> <p>Office/work trips --- "Most complicated of all of course" Gear is sorta find (ankle booties, jeans, leggings, tunics and shirts, rain jacket). Evening occasions covered (saris and longer skirts etc). Formal to semi-formal daywear is the lacuna, unless I'm going with Indian, which doesn't do in cooler weather. Need at least one pair of pants, and quite desperate for shoes there (ballet flats and maybe a pair of oxfords or closed sandals/sandal shoes). Another issue with this capsule --- I'd ideally duplicate it, but as such, I have to first finish building one set and cart them cross-country meanwhile, which can be a bit of a damper (sometimes I'll bring it along and not need it at all).</p> <p>I'm actually happiest if I keep my capsules separate to start with. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident/page/2#post-607956 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 03:27:16 +0000 ManidipaM 607956@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Anne, thanks so much for chiming in and encouraging me! </p> <p>I have the issue of shopping far away as well, and only just realized --- but it wasn't even returns. I was in a different city on my birthday, and sort of assumed that they'd have roughly similar (though of course not all the same) stock generally across regions in different stores. Came home for the second round and went shopping again yesterday --- found only ONE of the garments I'd liked in the other city! o.0 </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident/page/2#post-607123 Sun, 29 Apr 2012 08:49:40 +0000 anne 607123@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have been meaning to get to this thread for a while. I can really relate. I am not a natural shopper, and have been very frugal most of my life, and for the last 7 years have lived in a regional area with limited shopping opportunities. So a couple of times in the year I go to the city and try to get as much as I can in a limited timeframe.</p> <p>I find it nearly as overwhelming as you. While returns are a bit more possible in Australia, they are not universal and are anyway fairly impractical if one is not going to stay in the area.<br /> I often don't buy anything at all the first day, or (if I only have one day) not til the end of the day. I check out every shop and then revisit some. It is often then that I break down that freezing resistance and actually buy something.</p> <p>So based on this - keep going! It might take more than 1 day. I don't stint on teabreaks and lunches either, despite my usual frugality. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-606574 Sat, 28 Apr 2012 17:29:31 +0000 christieanne 606574@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One more quick thought - have you tried to do the capsule sorting exercise at least as far as putting neutrals and colors together? It sounds like you need separate capsules:</p> <p>Home base 1/ work at home clothes - are you covered there? for heat and quick errands out of house? </p> <p>Home base 2/office 2) sounds like that's where the layering needs come in. </p> <p>Office/work trips) Most complicated of all of course. I thought you had gear down but I could have missed something. Seems you have the dressy occasions covered (with your beautiful saris being appropriate you have us US girls beat on that) unless you want to add to this need. </p> <p>Does the capsule concept work for you or make things worse? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-606555 Sat, 28 Apr 2012 17:12:02 +0000 ManidipaM 606555@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ohh, that's a great idea, Claire! I went away and thought about it a bit before responding, and sure enough, for each window shopping expedition I came away from, there's usually just 1 or 2 items I keep remembering; even though I can actually recall each piece I liked. Maybe that's where to start. I need to learn how to make that decision in-store rather than back at home, though, without getting distracted or distressed by the ambience I'm in --- because it's often ages before I can make that second trip out to the shops. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-606483 Sat, 28 Apr 2012 15:51:39 +0000 Anonymous 606483@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Moni, I had this thread up on my computer screen all day yesterday and there was no time to respond. I couldn't wait to get to it first thing this morning! I'm not sure I can be of any help, but you got some fantastic comments. I can surely commiserate with you. Years of being frugal or just not buying any clothes can make those first few purchases so painstakingly difficult! You are such a good student and I know you want to do everything just right. I suspect (because I struggle with this too) that you are dealing with a little bit of perfectionism which is compounded by the common no-return policy where you live. No wonder you threw up your hands and went home on your birthday! At least you didn't make a mistake, right?</p> <p>I love the new pants and accessories you bought, and I know they'll make the things you already have more wearable. I second the advice to go "looking for shoes and tops" only, but never pass up a perfect X that is deeply discounted, flattering and in your size and color on your trip. Serendipity happens when you least expect it. I often find the best things when I'm shopping with my daughter, and only (supposedly!) looking at things for her. Also, once you have the basics filled in, shopping gets a lot more fun.</p> <p>One of the stores I shop at has a no-return policy and I'm learning that the best technique for me is to ask myself (after my basket is full of 3 or 4 items), "If I could only buy one of these things, which is my very favorite?" When I end up buying just that one thing, I'm not second-guessing myself all the way home, as the second, third and fourth items were usually impulse items picked up on a lark. The times I've bought them all, I was kicking myself before I knew it, even if they were cheap.</p> <p>So there is a learning curve at play here, and you will make mistakes. Be kind to yourself and forgive sweet you, and chalk them up to Fashion School tuition. You will get a lot of things right, too, and we will be cheering you on as you morph into a better dressed self. I am so excited to watch your style evolve! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-606263 Sat, 28 Apr 2012 03:24:09 +0000 ManidipaM 606263@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fern, we're sharing this boat! And very good point that you make, too. I *can* get dressed and out of the door, like I've done during SYC, even now --- even if it's not the best look for me, it won't startle anyone into stopping dead in their tracks, being nothing new!</p> <p>Denise, I suspect you're very right indeed: "right now your brain is still in "filling the necessities" mode". Even though I've actually decided where I want to go stylewise and made notes for a possible rubric etc, I suspect I've gone so long without new things, that I *am* still filling holes and replacing first --- logical priority, yes? but a little depressing compared to simply a hunt for something new and exciting. Need to figure out how to convince myself I'm getting *fun* replacements after all! </p> <p>No worries about the rationalizations, though -- I'm actually not very focused on the number, it's more a de facto ceiling. And yes, I fully intend to roll over sometimes for pricier purchases (shoes!). </p> <p>Meredith, for some reason, I'm finding online shopping easier too. Maybe my brain is just no longer happy with the bright, blaring, crowded stores. Trouble is, with clothes you really need to try them on, and with non-existent return policies, this is getting to be a non-starter now...especially as online shopping is too new here for more than a 10th of the actual stock to make it online for most stores.</p> <p>Aida, yes, most of my tops are patterened As are, ahem, most of my scarves! I've a seeming allergy to buying plain (boring?) basics ever since my 'invisible' phase ended, so that I'm trying to rectify the imbalance now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-606154 Sat, 28 Apr 2012 01:11:26 +0000 Aida 606154@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lots of great advice already, I think this is a more common experience than we might think. I STILL have times when I freeze up while shopping! The items you got look good, and those black pants you're wearing in #1 are Straight Up Awesome.</p> <p>Side note, are most of your tops solids or prints? If solids, you may want to get printed scarves instead of solids </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605940 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 20:55:56 +0000 Meredith1953 605940@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>ManidipaM,<br /> I'm sorry your birthday shopping expedition wasn't very fullfilling although I really like the items in the photos and boy I love you in those pants! I have found that I have a very low threshold where shopping is concerned. I do the following:</p> <p>I try to shop from a list of actual needs. If I need to add to an outfit, I try to wear that item while I shop.</p> <p>I make sure to eat before I go, and take snacks with me.</p> <p>I like shopping in smaller places because my eyeballs feel like they will explode when I see too much stuff at one time. I like places to be well curated. That doesn't mean I won't shop a big store....just that I prefer the smaller stores.</p> <p>I never go for more than a couple of hours.</p> <p>Lastly, I have discovered that ordering from online (from stores that have local stores I can make returns to or free shipping back) is my alltime favorite way to shop. Everything I have bought recently has been from online.</p> <p>Hang in there and take it slow.<br /> I </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605937 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 20:47:45 +0000 CocoLion 605937@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, you look soooo good in those harem pants. Now I want a pair. Which is to say, I have the opposite of your SYC problem, I need some impulse control!</p> <p>Rather than say, I have $50 and need to spend it each month, why don't you start with identifying the things you want regardless of price, and then figure out how to afford it? (Or is that the slippery slope of rationalizations?) You will love something beautiful and of high quality. Maybe you are better off saying, I have $150 per quarter to spend.</p> <p>The other suggestion I have is to identify or even write down where you want your style to go. That may help you get more enthused, as right now your brain is still in "filling the necessities" mode rather than buying things to craft your own unique (or not so unique if that's what you prefer) style. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605929 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 20:34:16 +0000 Mona 605929@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I really like those harem pants and love how you have described your problem here. Hope the trust building exercise works for you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605851 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 18:46:20 +0000 fern 605851@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If you figure out how to do trust building with yourself, share it here.<br /> I am struggling with my higher standards too, as Jayne aptly described above.<br /> But I do have enough items in my closet to get dressed every day (heh, for a long time) so I am trying to remember that my improvements can be as slow as necessary. Even if most of what I own is not yet a 10 - I can still get dressed and I will get there eventually. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605795 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 17:46:34 +0000 ManidipaM 605795@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Zap: Thanks again! You just identified a whole category I need but hadn't managed to name, hence identify: "stay home clothes she can quickly spruce up if she needs to leave the house in a jiffy". I needed that! Thanks also for reminding me to go look at my Pinterest board again</p> <p>Christieanne: "as for lists: they are so helpful until they become not helpful :)" --- that is SO true! I thought I'd finished organizing my list last month, with dominant and current season (humid hot) at the top... and then I go into my other 'home base' city on work, go into the office, and realize I'd forgotten how darn-awful COLD it was! So it turns out I needed to get layering pieces and tights and scarfs lined up in a jiffy. At least those were still around on sale; I was afraid they might have gone into retail aestivation mode by now. </p> <p>And yes, I'm trying to keep shoes and tops in separate head spaces, as far as I can. Thanks for reminding me to check those old threads too. Sometimes I'm so keen to leap forward, I forget to look back! There might be shortcuts there indeed.</p> <p>I don't know why I do it, but I find that my second-guessing is often a tendency to default to 'safety'; but then I come home and realize my first instinct was correct --- the lighter colour of shirt, say, would have been better with bottoms A, B and C, even though I drew a blank on those in the muzak- and fluorescent-saturated shop and could only remember Q, which did not work! Maybe I need to do a trust-building exercise with myself! [Great, now I'm not only talking to myself but having a relationship intervention with my sole stylish self too :-/ ] </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605733 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 16:53:50 +0000 christieanne 605733@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry your birthday shop day turned out frustrating for you. Especially considering you had companions to help you out. </p> <p>It's an age old problem for me - when I have the time or perfect item in hand, I don't have the money. And when I have the money, I don't have the time or perfect item! </p> <p>Can you break your next shopping excursion into smaller chunks focused on what you have identified as your needs (that seem right based on your closet purge exercise) for summer shoe and summer tops? One day for shoes, one day for tops? Or are they both available theoretically in same shops? </p> <p>The other thing since returns are going to be limited, is to review your best tops in your current closet and the keep/toss photos you worked so hard on. Identify again what is making certain tops work well for you. Perhaps print out one of those. That way you can be instantly reminded of what you are looking for and not second guess yourself. </p> <p>And as for lists: they are so helpful until they become not helpful You have to accept that occasionally something will turn up when you least expect it and go with your instinct at least occasionally. You have a fantastic eye for what works so be kind to yourself and go for it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605686 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 16:28:26 +0000 Anonymous 605686@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for responding Manidipa!</p> <p>Ok, based on that exchange policy issue, I would do the following before I even go shopping.These ideas are nothing new - especially because they are mostly Angie's, plus you have done most of it already. I thought it would be fun to summarize it in my own words. </p> <p>1- Identify what are my wardrobe needs, based on my job and lifestyle: I'm trying to build a basic wardrobe for my sis, so I'll use her as example. After speaking with her, she needs items for date night, weekends outside with the kiddos, stay home clothes she can quickly spruce up if she needs to leave the house in a jiffy and an outfit or two that she can wear for daytime events, like a kid's birthday party etc.</p> <p>2 - Look at what I have to identify holes. Toss what's not working: She cleaned up her closet and tossed out a whole lot of stuff that was just taking space. No mercy!!!</p> <p>3- Determine budget. I do have a shopping budget per month that is variable. For instance, my budget is more generous in winter, since winter items are more costly. </p> <p>4- Look at magazines, online, YLF for things that appeal to me: This is my sis's homework this week. I asked her to pin pictures of outfits she thinks are nice and will fit her life. She told me she does not longer know what is nice, so I told her to pin anything she spent more that 5 seconds looking at. I am not so great in saving images, but I still do and keep them for reference. </p> <p>5- Make a list to fill a void and fill that void one item at the time: With inspiration pictures on hand, I go ahead and start a shopping list, based on my wardrobe holes. I personally do this, since I need to be methodical. For instance, I had a huge wardrobe hole when it came to blouses. I had saved multiple images from YLF and other places so I knew what I needed. I shopped for about 3-4 months exclusively for that, editing as I went along.</p> <p>6 - If it gets stressful, I attempt to shop for something else: I know how frustrating it is go shopping for something specific, to come back empty handed. That's when I remember my other "holes" and try to find those items instead. Also, I try not to leave shopping for the last minute or wait until I really need the item. For example: I was expecting to have to take a promotional interview later this fall, so I wanted to have a new black suit for it. My current suit was showing signs of wear so I needed a replacement. Lo and behold, I just bought one to find out that I got promoted LOL, but hey, I filled that wardrobe hole. </p> <p>7 - Keep your eyes open for something great and unexpected: I look under every nook and cranny on every store I go to. I just found a distressed off white leather moto jacket, by Buffalo, deeply discounted. Did I go looking for that? Not really, but I knew I needed a light leather jacket alternative and that was that!!!</p> <p>8 - Crapola happens, you are bound to make mistakes: Hey, I am a declared shopaholic. I shop at least 3 out of 5 days a week and still get it wrong. It's ok. The goals is to be right most of the time... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605647 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 15:54:20 +0000 rae 605647@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think I know what you mean about always thinking you can decide later... I have a habit of always thinking I can find it cheaper at the swap meet. But then of course I can't find everything at the swap meet, and so there are some missed opportunities. </p> <p>Now I've swung to the other end of the spectrum and I feel like I can't decide unless I BUY it, bring it home and try with all my other sutff. o_0 Do stores in your area allow returns? It may take some of the pressure of finding the perfect item off if you know you can bring it back. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605590 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 15:13:15 +0000 bj1111 605590@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>manidipa, i adore those pants much. where, oh, where can i get a pair stateside?</p> <p>congrats on moving into this phase. i don't think you are unprepared, just choosy. can't wait to see how your closet evolves. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605554 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:49:39 +0000 Angie 605554@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah! Sorry that I got my wires crossed. Glad that you went shopping with SO. Perhaps you need to go again? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605544 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:46:58 +0000 ManidipaM 605544@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Okay, something weird went down and I missed a few comments upthread! </p> <p>MissVee, you're right --- shoes followed by summer tops are on top of the list, as both categories get worn out FAST around here! So yes, that's where I'm concentrating. I need to take your advice --- take a break and go back to look again. I sometimes feel like I need just that, but feel self-conscious about dithering and going back (whatever will the SAs think?! And yeah, I do realize how self-defeating that is!)</p> <p>Suz, thanks so much for your lovely long reply and assuring me I'm not alone in this predicament. I was starting to question my sanity there, for a bit! This was precisely my birthday experience: "a whole day in the city during which I thought I was going to buy NOTHING." Ha! Yes, I need to concentrate on those shoes OR summer tops, and maybe make at least ONE purchase to wet my feet, rather than get three at once or four at once. Good reminder, thank you again! My SO actually said just this towards day's end --- but hey, he's only my SO, what does he know?! So I didn't hear him! ;-)</p> <p>Kirti, one thing I learnt whenever shopping abroad: convert Euro to Rs so you know you're on budget, but DO NOT compare to what said rupees will buy back home! In your case, don't even bother converting. Because, yowza, does that hurt! Even when you know said waterproof trench is non-existent at home, and especially when there's a 'Made in India' tag! :-D</p> <p>Vix, thank you --- that is a GREAT suggestion to use a good-to-go piece as a touchstone! And with that, I think I now know EXACTLY which top and which sandals to look at again.</p> <p>Angie, yes, I'm finally launching back into physical shopping. That IS what I did for my birthday, couple of days ago, with my most shopping-supportive friend (incidentally also my SO, and pretty blunt critic if he thinks I'm making a mistake, which should have been extra reassuring) --- and mystifyingly came up empty. You're right --- online shopping and even physical window shopping is clearly *not* enough prep for actually going in with the intent to buy. I'm just not sure why I couldn't commit. Maybe I *was* putting too much pressure on myself.</p> <p>And yes, I agree this tunic's a tad too long. I was actually experimenting with pinning it up earlier to figure out what length works best with these pants.</p> <p>Thanks again for holding my hand, ladies!</p> <p>ETA: VC, you are so right! Maybe I *have* taken the joy of the hunt out with the overwhelming insistence on The List. Hmm, I should probably have got those owl earrings I saw too </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605534 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:41:03 +0000 velvetychocolate 605534@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like Vix's suggestion of wearing something that you really like, and making sure that anything you're considering pairs well with it. </p> <p>Also - I have a suggestion of my own - it'll sound a little silly, but it just popped into my head as I read your post. </p> <p>You know how you make a list to go grocery shopping? But sometimes you see that the asparagus is looking particularly good right now, and it's on for a pretty good price and you buy it even though it's not on your list? I'm wondering if you could approach clothes and shoes shopping in the same manner? For instance, eggs and green onions are on my list and I'll buy these no matter what, because I really need them. But I also leave room for impulse buys that really aren't mistakes at all - just that you don't know what you'll see until you get out there, and forcing yourself to stick to "the list" no matter what, isn't the most fun now is it? </p> <p>I might go shopping with a list like: eggs, green onions, laundry detergent, tomatoes, coconut milk, coffee, tea, dog treats, parchment paper. I know I need more food, but it all depends on what's out there and what looks really good. I don't set out to go looking for "wild Alaska Salmon" - but if I see it, and it looks particularly yummy and is on for a good price, I'll snap it up. </p> <p>What about approaching the SYB/clothes shopping thing like this? I mean, it's all well and good that you have "must find blue camisole" on that list, and you might not find it on that particular outing, but I think it's a good idea to take a really good look around - you never know what other thing(s) you might find. It's like a treasure hunt. You're just looking. But this is how I always find the best stuff! </p> <p>Good luck with moving to a more open, curious and joyful clothes shopping experience. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605522 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:27:08 +0000 Angie 605522@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Manidipa, you need some physical shopping action - a perfect birthday treat. Online shopping can be a mare and awfully discouraging. Take along a supportive friend and enjoy the day (wish I could shop with you!!). I am pretty sure that it will cure your paralysis. </p> <p>LOVE the trousers!!! Great outfit. The tunic is a little long, but you look wonderful anyway. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605501 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:11:43 +0000 Vix 605501@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi ManidipaM --</p> <p>Great thoughts upthread in general but Jayne summed mine up perfectly. </p> <p>It's tough to want "perfection" and yet know when the money's gone it's gone -- one wants to wring value out of the new pieces, not have them sit unworn due to making a wrong choice. </p> <p>Though my closet has grown over the last 5-6 years I still use this trick: </p> <p>Wear and/or bring whatever you think looks good when you're shopping, then only add someting(s) that work with it. </p> <p>So for you, the cool new pants. They were bought for train travel, but there's no reason why they can't be your go-tos for work-at-home/out-and-about, right? So find a tunic +/- sandals that works with them perfectly. </p> <p>[Repeat as needed with other items til budget runs away for the month....] </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605487 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:04:22 +0000 Kirti 605487@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I understand what you mean, I find it much easier to window shop than actually shop these days. I think it is because, thanks to YLF, we tend to be tough on ourselves in the search for the perfect pieces. It is also tough to spend on the fab pieces when we find them, since prices are so high these days and budgets invariably tiny I experience this a lot, especially when I convert from euro to rupees!</p> <p>Just trust your style and take advice fom the forum members whenever you need it. I'm sure it will be okay. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605471 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:51:42 +0000 ManidipaM 605471@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Zap, your description of money going...going... gone... actually made me smile and loosen up a little, I think! Thank you! It's not after all my sense of self going...going... gone... --- and I *did* survive that one.</p> <p>To answer your question, the concept of moneyback returns is pretty alien around here; store credit is pretty, er, forward-thinking; the norm is 'exchange'. So yeah, it's got to be sneaky dressing-room photography, I guess :-p (cameras are banned in many places too, and I don't use a smartphone).</p> <p>Krishnidoux, thanks for the explanation! This is non-existent in my neck of the woods, BUT a much smaller equivalent would be export surplus stores (from garment manufacturers supplying to the big brands) and/or lower-priced multi-brand stores that have store brands, popular mainstream brands as well as diffusion lines. Basically, I'm aiming for variety, yes? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605454 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:31:45 +0000 Transcona Shannon 605454@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I suggest baby steps - and if possible, post K/R threads for some help. Trust your instinct Manidipa - you have a great sense of style. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605443 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:08:34 +0000 Anonymous 605443@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm wondering how is the return policy in your area. If there is a possibility to return for money back, I think you can start by buying a few things and post K/Rs. If not, perhaps you can take a few pics at the store on a realtime or post those pictures first, and buy after. I think the only way to jump this puddle is head first. You'll see that after a few attempts, your eye will get trained to spot what you need or might work for you -although your heart will still jump a little once you see that money going... going...gone. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605440 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:02:38 +0000 krishnidoux 605440@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>They are larger discount clothing stores. Similar to factory outlets, but with many brands. They boast designer for a fraction of the price, but actually offer only a few designers, and then a few of their styles on the floors at one time. But there is a lot of clothes, in racks by size, as well as accessories, shoes coats and other household items. Most clothes are what did not sell in stores, or what was returned. For this reason, each item must be thoroughly inspected for defects. Still, when you look well, you can find some pretty good deals. Prices are low, significantly lower than regular shops. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605435 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 12:41:02 +0000 ManidipaM 605435@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jayne, Krish, thank you for your wise words!</p> <p>I have actually been marching around and trying on clothes in the higher-end stores (well, as high-end as I can practically go, which stops at designer diffusion or thereabouts). Like I said, I even found several things I liked, which fit, which cross a need off the list, etc --- but I can't seem to pull the trigger! Jayne, you make a great point about having new, higher expectations of both myself and my closet. Could be the reason --- need to introspect!</p> <p>Krishnidoux, thanks for the pants endorsement! I was wondering if they looked a bit too peg-legged, but they are SOOO comfy. The tunic is, you're right, a little too snug. It's going in the rejection pile soon. I didn't actually style the pants, just popped them under my digging-in-the-dirt top, which I should have mentioned up top. </p> <p>Btw, not very sure what Winners or Marshalls are like -- are they budget, mid-market, fashion-forward, high-end...? I live in India, where these brands do not exist. Do help me out with a description? Thanks again! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ending-syc-wading-into-syb-feeling-less-than-confident#post-605431 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 12:35:52 +0000 Suz 605431@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The pants in #1 are sublime! Now THOSE are slouchy trousers! Love them with the sandals, and the blue of the tunic is gorgeous on you. Other purchases also look great. I think you got a LOT for your $50!!! </p> <p>I experienced (and to some extent, am still experiencing) something very similar to what you are describing after a few months here on YLF when I started to prepare to make some actual purchases (something that I, like you, had not really done in a long while apart from thrift or discount store buying). </p> <p>I don't recommend my path out of paralysis. I had an event (actually, a series of events) that involved public appearances for me. So I HAD to go shopping. Had to! And had to find something. This is generally a recipe for disaster, as I'm sure you know. Luckily, I managed to avert it; I neither came home utterly empty handed nor broke the bank buying things I wouldn't use again. Because of YLF I was able to isolate just a few key pieces that would work with items I already owned. </p> <p>I then had a second paralytic shopping experience - a whole day in the city during which I thought I was going to buy NOTHING. Oh, I looked, I tried on, but despite my lists and knowing what I needed or wanted, I was utterly overwhelmed. Finally I got away from the big department store and went browsing in tiny boutiques where I found an inexpensive skirt that has become a wardrobe workhorse. That is all I bought on that day, but it is okay to add to your wardrobe slowly. If you find something that will make the other pieces you already own do double-duty, you're launched. </p> <p>My other "secret" to shifting myself out of paralysis was to make a serious focus on the big ticket seasonal items - the things I really truly needed. For me, that meant winter coats (and later, a spring coat) and footwear. So I didn't worry so much about whether or not I had other things - I focused on what I definitely needed to get through the season in any kind of comfort. </p> <p>It's tough to wed our analytic and creative sides. But you will get there! </p>