https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 05:36:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1101418 Sat, 30 Nov 2013 07:54:08 +0000 Jeanie 1101418@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Tanya, sending some hugs your way. &nbsp; My sister was taking a food supplement called Ensure when she was having some issues and was not able to eat much. &nbsp;It's a high calorie nutritional supplement. &nbsp;It has 350 calories and comes in different flavors. &nbsp;My sis&nbsp;seemed to think it was easier to drink this "shake" when she couldn't get any food down. &nbsp;I wish we were closer and able to help out. &nbsp;Keeping writing to us! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1100839 Fri, 29 Nov 2013 09:03:40 +0000 DizzyLizzy 1100839@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I just wanted to wish you a happy thanksgiving. Sending virtual hugs and healing thoughts. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1100496 Thu, 28 Nov 2013 16:19:37 +0000 Ginkgo 1100496@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just wanted to wish you an early "good morning" from California (not so early for you) and hope you have a pleasant day. Relax, snooze, heal. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1100488 Thu, 28 Nov 2013 16:05:10 +0000 Anonymous 1100488@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Tanya,</p> <p>First and foremost, I want to wish you a very happy Thanksgiving. Thank you for reaching out to me. I am in awe of your determination and stamina. I hope that at the minimum, this holiday break gives you a chance to recharge before radiation resumes.</p> <p>I am very sorry that you feel abandoned somewhat. I can relate so much to your feelings. When I fell ill, with the anxiety attacks, I became a recluse and cut contact with the outside world, including YLF! My mind was gone and at the worst moments, I was unable to hold a conversation. I was not able to cultivate any relationships, really. I understand the distancing is partially on me, but I also think that most friends kind of "moved on" and forgot about me. I became old news. One year later, when I got better, I found myself with many strained friendships and relationships. Some of them will never be the same. The only thing that did not suffer was my career, due to having an AMAZING boss, and my family dynamics. The whole distancing and abandonment, is a sad "side effect" some of us go through, that no one even considers. Sometimes, kidness comes from the most unexpected places and that is what I held on and I am grateful for. I wish I was closer, so we could celebrate together.</p> <p>Stay positive and have a relaxing day today.</p> <p>XO</p> <p>Lina </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1100316 Thu, 28 Nov 2013 09:33:43 +0000 AJ 1100316@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, I do hope you risked some uncomfortableness and reached out to to your friends. I'm antsy over the thought that you are dealing with this alone. I really wish I could share my Thanksgiving meal with you. You have been in my prayers and I'm so proud of how brave and resilient you are. I'll be checking this thread if you want to chat on Thanksgiving. &lt;Hugs&gt; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1100308 Thu, 28 Nov 2013 09:01:05 +0000 Ornella 1100308@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hey T</p> <p>I'm with Hil. Sometimes people just don't know what you need or how little you actually need or how to give you what you need.</p> <p>Ask :-)</p> <p>I wish I lived closer to you. </p> <p>~</p> <p>Btw, have you thought of capturing the thoughts you have right now, as you go through the process? Some day this will all be behind you and you'll forget individual thoughts... but someday it may be useful or helpful&nbsp;to someone.&nbsp;A blog... a private diary... just a thought.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1099356 Wed, 27 Nov 2013 10:06:30 +0000 Hil 1099356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Tanya</p> <p>I am so sorry that you are going through this. My only suggestion is maybe to be even more direct. People are wrapped up in their own worlds and may feel like everyone else is rallying round and they're not needed. I really feel privileged if a friend is direct and confident enough to ask me for specific help.</p> <p>Wishing you all the&nbsp;best! </p> <p>x&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1099289 Wed, 27 Nov 2013 06:26:06 +0000 deb 1099289@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, my heart breaks with you when I think about your friends. You are so strong&nbsp;by putting all this down in writing. I am just amazed at your strength. If I were closer and would be&nbsp;right there with you. Please take care.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1099247 Wed, 27 Nov 2013 05:12:07 +0000 Gaylene 1099247@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aw, Tanya, people can be such jerks sometimes. But I'm with Shannon in saying that you have absolutely no reason to be embarrassed at telling your friends you need their help to get through this period.</p> <p>Angie, though, is right in saying that people don't always live up to the expectations we have of them. You are a strong person who will navigate her way through this awful time. You have a lot of friends on the forum, so use us as your support system when you feel discouraged or upset. Our hugs might be virtual but the feelings behind them are very real. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1099216 Wed, 27 Nov 2013 04:27:03 +0000 jen 1099216@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Give yourself permission to look after you, if others can't give it to you, make sure you are your own best friend. Be kind to yourself, relax and recover. xxx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1099177 Wed, 27 Nov 2013 03:18:01 +0000 Ruchi 1099177@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Tanya,<br />&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I have been missing from the forum from the past few years.I am sorry to hear about your heath issues.My heart is breaking just reading about it.I am visiting some friends during the weekend in DC and would love to come and say&nbsp;hi,if that is okay with u.I can PM u my cell no. and we can talk. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1098615 Tue, 26 Nov 2013 17:41:09 +0000 rachylou 1098615@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Is it too embarassing to admit that I like baby food still and occasionally eat a jar? Haha. I can cover by saying sometimes when my blood sugar is low but I don't want to eat, a jar of baby food really does the trick.</p> <p>My neighbor and I were discussing community last night. We often do because we're old world people living in the new world. Our neighborhood is definitely johnny come lately. Anyways, a neighbor of ours has gone into hospital and his live-in lady friend did not tell us. We saw her three times in a row and she said nothing. There's a whole story behind her, and we're sure she's overwhelmed, but still... Anyways again, puts us in a spot. The old world way would be to bring her some dinners so she didn't have to cook - that would be helpful, right? - but we can't. She not the sort to get Maggie Smith's line in <i>Downton Abbey</i>, "I've plenty of friends I do not like." Haha. She probably wouldn't trust the food, wouldn't eat them. </p> <p>Anyways a <i>third</i> time, I'm sorry you're not here Tanya. I can tell you would take pity on us. We could make you casseroles that you'd take and throw out without telling us because you hate casserole...</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1098550 Tue, 26 Nov 2013 16:40:20 +0000 Amy 1098550@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This just breaks my heart, Tanya. I wish I were closer so I could share some holiday cheer with you. </p> <p>I don't know if there's any real solution to the food problem. Scheduling times to each and sticking to them is important, as well as eating as calorie rich foods as you can. In addition to the shakes, puddings and ice cream can be good. Sometimes it's good to vary the texture or consistency of things you eat.</p> <p>I know you're hurting from how your friends have behaved. It's really hard to see someone you care about suffering. I'm not excusing them, but some people just aren't cut out to handle it.&nbsp; During my father's illness, it never failed to surprise us which of our friends slowly disappeared from the scene. At the same time, we discovered some friends and caregivers were the most amazing, generous and supportive people you could imagine.</p> <p>It's not you at all.&nbsp; It's the situation. There are no two ways around it, being ill sucks.</p> <p>You're in my thoughts.</p> <p>((hugs))</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1098474 Tue, 26 Nov 2013 15:21:21 +0000 bella 1098474@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Tanya, Good to hear from you! I agree with the schedule idea. If you don't have much of an appetite, then just treat food as medicine and try to consume it as regularly as you can. Fruit smoothies can be good and you can add honey for extra calories.&nbsp;<br />As for the Thanksgiving holiday, I would recommend watching a movie series. My favorites are Harry Potter, LOTR, X-Men. I've watched so many times now that I feel like i am actually in company of friends. Might work for you, too.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1098204 Tue, 26 Nov 2013 04:38:41 +0000 MsMaven 1098204@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, I admire you and appreciate your sense of dress that I have admired through your posts.&nbsp;</p> <p>You are courageous and an inspiration to me. &nbsp;You are invited to join me, my son and his family in the Chicago are, but I know&nbsp;you are too far away to come. &nbsp;I will remember you this holiday. &nbsp;So sorry you have to go through this.</p> <p>I wish you the best for the holiday and wish I could take away some of your pain. &nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1098085 Tue, 26 Nov 2013 02:15:19 +0000 merwoman 1098085@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sending you a virtual hug and healing thoughts dear Tanya. You have been through so much, but&nbsp; you are almost there. Illness, particularly cancer, scares people. They don't mean to be insensitive, but they don't know what to do or say. </p> <p>YLF will always be here for you. Focus on the positive, and let that be your light and path forward.</p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation/page/2#post-1097895 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 23:34:44 +0000 donnat 1097895@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, i think of you often, and sending you my warmest tboughts and prayers. I wish i was closer. Hang in there and post as often as you feel like.<br /> Next year at this time, this will all be a bad memory. Big gentle hugs.. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097820 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 22:15:10 +0000 catherine 1097820@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wish we were closer to be more help.&nbsp; People can sure be a disappointment.&nbsp; You have my number and should feel free to use it.&nbsp; I wonder if ice cream is at all appealing.&nbsp; Some of the premium brands have quite a few calories.<br />You may be sensitive, but you sure seem tough and brave. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097756 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 21:01:23 +0000 Debora 1097756@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Dear Tanya, I just sent you a message. I agree with Shannon, please don't hesitate to ask for help and to let people know what you need. I am keeping you close in my thoughts. I hope the worst of it is almost over for you, and that you will begin your recovery soon. xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097753 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 20:56:09 +0000 Marley 1097753@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for the update Tanya!&nbsp; I know that you said that you don't like to ask - but sometimes people need to be nudged more than once.&nbsp; I have been in a similar situation where I was left without invitations to holidays, etc. - and have just out-right asked my friends if I could come spend the day with them - I had no regrets about asking, no embarrassment, no shame - I was simply taking care of myself - so, perhaps you could reconsider asking one/some of your friends about Thanksgiving. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097748 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 20:49:04 +0000 Louise 1097748@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can only hope that everyone is assuming someone else has invited you! </p> <p>Being from the UK I don't celebrate thanksgiving but I wish I could hop on a plane and we could be miserable together, eat Ice cream and watch funny films x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097728 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 20:24:29 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1097728@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, don't you DARE feel embarrassed about asking for help ok? I think it takes tremendous courage to let people know what we need and I can't believe that some of&nbsp;your friends are not stepping up to the plate. Unfortunately as Angie has so eloquently pointed out, expectations are often met with disappointment. Some people just aren't up to the task :(</p> <p>Only two more weeks to go and then you can begin the road to recovery and regaining your strength. Take care of yourself and know that every one here loves you and is sending hugs and well wishes </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097623 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 18:54:17 +0000 Janet 1097623@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Tanya, I am thinking of you and sending big hugs! I wish we were home for thanksgiving -- I would have you come spend it with us! But we are celebrating in TX this year. </p> <p>You are getting through this and doing so well, really. We have a friend we just visited in the hospital in Boston who is being treated for tongue cancer. He is on the mend but has been dealing with serious dehydration issues and inability to keep any kind of food down (he's celebrating today because he's back on a liquid diet and is now able to eat soup!). He's lost 50 lbs. But his tumors are gone and he is gaining strength. </p> <p>As we visited with him, I thought of you too. I'm sending you all the good thoughts and healing vibes I can! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097496 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 17:04:12 +0000 Angie 1097496@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, Tanya. (((HUGS))). Know we are thinking of you and always available for you right here. </p> <p>Disappointment is caused by&nbsp;expectation. The lower the expectation, the lower the disappointment. &nbsp;It's a hard reality, but a&nbsp;worthwhile mindset. I have averted many a disappointment that way - but also learned the hard way, just like you.&nbsp;</p> <p>Two more weeks to go. <b>You are doing great. </b>Sending lots of love and healing thoughts. xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097492 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 17:01:54 +0000 Tanya 1097492@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK, I have just realized how horrible I have made everything sound.&nbsp; Maybe a tad worse than it is.&nbsp; </p> <p>What I have written applies to most of my local friends, but not all.&nbsp; There are a couple of people that have been amazing throughout all this and I am extremely grateful for them.&nbsp; I would not have been able to get through his without them.&nbsp; They just happen to be going out of town for holidays. One of them even invited me to join, but I am in no condition to travel. </p> <p>I will have a meal delivery service deliver a proper Thanksgiving meal on that day.&nbsp; And I will Skype with my family.&nbsp; Yes, I will be sad and alone and sick, but it can always be worse.&nbsp; I need to learn to be grateful that things are not even worse than they are, but that is bit though for me at the moment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097462 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 16:39:00 +0000 Suz 1097462@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>More hugs, Tanya.&nbsp;</p> <p>What a difficult situation. I think it's good you are telling it all to us here.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097441 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 16:13:25 +0000 Anonymous 1097441@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya, my heart goes out to you. Please keep in touch with us all here. We are rooting for you. ((hugs)). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097333 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 14:43:03 +0000 Tanya 1097333@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you so much for your kindness ladies!&nbsp; You are definitely making this much more bearable. </p> <p>About my friends nor possibly knowing what to do, that is not exactly true.&nbsp; We have an email list of the 10 or so closest local friends to which I occasionally send important updates.&nbsp; So, I literally spelled out what I need, in a non-demanding&nbsp; manner of course.&nbsp; When radiation started a month ago I sent&nbsp; out an email in which i said, among other unrelated things, that they do not have to know what to say and do, all I need is somebody who will listen.&nbsp; Moreover, I specified that I would love and need occasional company, as it is very easy to fall into clinical depression when in this situation. Also, I sent out a new email last week when I stopped working, and said that if they would like to visit, I am home at such and such time after treatment ends, (which happens to conveniently be after 7 pm in the evening when work is done).&nbsp; I think that this is all really clear. </p> <p>I also do not feel like reaching out to specific people and asking them over/making plans, as that would feel like begging after these emails, and I would really like to preserve the little dignity and pride have left.&nbsp; I am the type of person who always helps others but has difficulties asking for help.&nbsp; So when I somehow overcame my own barriers and asked for help when I really needed it, not getting a good response really makes me so much less likely to ask for something like that again and quite embarrassed too about asking in the first place.</p> <p>Baby food and eating schedules are excellent ideas. I already have medication taking schedule, so I can add the shakes to it.&nbsp; And I am already eating some cereal for babie/very young kids from my home country that I used to eat when I was a child.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097311 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 14:23:16 +0000 Anonymous 1097311@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Can you feel all the waves of love and concern from Texas? &nbsp;I'm so sorry for what you're going through, Tanya. &nbsp;If I lived closer I would bring you baby food and fuzzy socks! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/end-of-week-four-of-radiation#post-1097259 Mon, 25 Nov 2013 12:55:50 +0000 Jaime 1097259@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tanya I'm so sorry you have to deal with the holidays yourself. You are being unbelievably brave about everything and you are quite right to feel disappointed in your friends, although who knows what they may be dealing with themselves. I wish I had more to offer than my warmest thoughts and hope your recovery goes as easily as possible.&nbsp; </p>