YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Embracing my gray

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Embracing my gray https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 14 Apr 2026 17:17:14 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Mainelady on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1827315 Fri, 21 Jul 2017 18:26:35 +0000 Mainelady 1827315@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Lol fashiontern. Age really is only a number. Some of the best things come with time: great wine, experience, wisdom, icon status, diamonds.... Stagiaire Fash on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1827203 Fri, 21 Jul 2017 14:42:46 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1827203@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Maine lady, this is off topic, but your last sentence is something that bugs me when I think about dating again. I don't want to be with an old man! Mainelady on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1827201 Fri, 21 Jul 2017 14:22:11 +0000 Mainelady 1827201@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you Jenni. I will google Imogine Lamport. I like being informed and learning from others. Vix, I love your hair! IF I had let mine go gray when it happened naturally, I might have been able to enjoy hair like yours. I still have some of my own dark brown hair, especially in the back, but up near the front of my face and at the top, I have a lot of white and some silver. I think my colors are going to be blonder and whiter, with brown/gray tones. We will see! Juecav, I am on a learning curve for sure. I have always worn earth tones and autumn colors. Brown and tan have been a great neutrals for me. That may have to change. I am happy to see that olive greens still look great on me. I think a lot of it has to do with skin color, but the overall look is impacted by the lighter hair. I am 56 and for some odd reason, still think of myself as being 35. juecav on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1827093 Fri, 21 Jul 2017 07:35:52 +0000 juecav 1827093@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I embraced my grey/silver hair a couple of years back... but I had been having blonde highlights for a number of years to blend the grey when it first started. I found I really suited the grey/silver.  Still do.  I'm also fair freckly skinned and was unsure as to how it would look but it made me look like I had more colour. Like most people have said I had to avoid beiges and browns, which also meant I couldn't or didn't feel I could wear gold jewellery anymore.  So silver it was.  I also use a violet shampoo and conditioner to keep it bright and not brassy.  Fudge do a good shampoo and conditioner. As I still felt relatively young ....ahem 40's... I also had an edgy hair style cut, my profile picture shows an undercut asymmetrical bob. I like the hair American hairy stylist Emily Anderson does. However, after a couple of years I grew bored the beginning of this year so I had some blonde highlights put in, mainly so I could wear gold again.  So this year, I have worn gold to death.  Beige and neutrals made it back in too.  But .... when I look in the mirror I see blonder hair, yet in photos it still looks silver.  So what I have learnt is, despite the blonde highlights and my hair still looking silver, I can wear gold or neutral tones.  But I haven't ventured as far as  brown yet. Stagiaire Fash on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1827026 Fri, 21 Jul 2017 02:01:36 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1827026@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Vix, now I see that you are beautiful, in a beautiful dress, in a beautiful place. On my phone's screen, the shorter/lighter hair on the side of your head looked like it was a different color, like you were wearing part of a bath cap or something. But you seem to have a more interesting interpretation of my comment... I never have colored my hair. Did perms for a couple years in high school. That was enough for me. No lye or harsh chemicals for my son's hair either, tyvm. Jenni NZ, that makes sense to me. My mother's self-definition is all tied in with performance of certain female duties, including looking good. Observing without judging is also hard for her; I think that's generational too. Assigning a value to the color makes it much easier to know how to respond to it. Vix on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1826911 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 21:47:03 +0000 Vix 1826911@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Had to jump off before I could compliment the new cut and color transition, Mainelady!  Smart to live with it a bit. Honestly from here it doesn't seem like you need lowlights but I get it...have wondered myself whether I'll do that way down the line.  One thing I'd read but didn't 100% understand til I lived it is that until all the old color is really gone you don't know how you'll like the overall effect. [Like Fashiontern, most love it!] As a coloring brunette I used to HATE the 3-week point (more than 1" of roots, too early to justify recoloring) because I'd look so "washed out." And then when I let the roots get longer I hated it because the light roots (really silver, looked white) made me look like I had a receding hairline at top and sides...ugh, that was Not Good. But once you get to the end point -- whether you have a mix of tones or only white/grey/silver hair -- it's a whole different thing. So to those in the process, hang in! ps to Fashiontern -- ha, it's just me in the lap of high-privacy Mr Vix at the end of a wedding reception.  This is the 10-months in look: <a rel="nofollow" href="https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey-month-10-including-all-up-in-my-grillgrey-shots">https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....grey-shots</a> This is more or less the current look (needed a haircut): <a rel="nofollow" href="https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-feeling-the-january-blues-greens">https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....ues-greens</a> Jenni NZ on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1826879 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 20:52:23 +0000 Jenni NZ 1826879@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Cross posted Mainelady! Jenni NZ on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1826878 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 20:51:00 +0000 Jenni NZ 1826878@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Also, Mainelady, your new hair is so pretty. It looks like it did take a long time to get it that good! I think that's what Imogen Lamport, a stylist from Australia did and wrote a series of posts ( you could Google her). Mainelady on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1826877 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 20:50:05 +0000 Mainelady 1826877@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Fashiontern and Vix, I love the pictures you posted showing your varying hair colors. Gorgeous! Thank you Suz and Robin F. I am very happy with how the stylist blended my own white, silver and red/brown with the help of highlighting and toner. So far, so good, although I am surprised at how much lighter my hair is overall. It will take some getting used to. I am going to live with it for a few days and have an appointment next week, to go in and see if we want to do any tweaking. We may decide to add a few lowlights, but are holding off for a bit. Th goal is to get to my authentic color, so we are only adding color, or toner to help with blending in the skunk stripe. Robin F, I am tan right now and curious about how my hair will look with my skin when I am much paler. Now is the time for me to play with clothing and makeup colors. It will be trial and error for a while, but I find it to be exciting! Jenni NZ on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1826869 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 20:44:46 +0000 Jenni NZ 1826869@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm interested in that also Fashiontern. I wonder if there is an element of the women who were youngish at that time of extreme femininity ( say from Dior's New Look in 1947 through the 1950s until the Youthquake and Swinging London hit in the 1960s) who have a greater sense they must still look "young" and "feminine" than those of us born later than that where fashion is more diverse? Stagiaire Fash on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1826784 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 18:11:59 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1826784@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Vix, I don't quite understand what's going on in that pic, but I like the colors of your top and the top of you (hair on your head) together. Also, generational differences like older women coloring their hair, while younger women go grey, is in your mom's criticisms always interest me. Vix on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1826753 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 16:49:58 +0000 Vix 1826753@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi all -- Jumping in, having just hit my 2-year "grey-iversary." (started process in mid-40s. started greying in teens!) Definitely, definitely inspired to finally take the leap by the stylish YLFers who'd gone before me.  This is a GREAT place to make it through. Natural color was dark brown with red highlights, grey is silver (not white as I'd always thought from roots). Super-pale skin. I have some threads here with photos, none terribly recent. One focused on a big milestone trip -- I did it with serious on-purpose roots!  But really at about the 10 month point I had what I have now. Most of mine is a big ole clump on the right -- former bane of existence -- then left temple zone, and then "highlights" elsewhere. So maybe 30-40%? Because hair is long-ish it still reads as pretty dark.  Below is not-great but recent shot. During transition and now I wear a lot of prints with white/silver shades to help tie in my multi-colored mop. yet more details... I stopped coloring for 2 months to get to 3" roots, went to hairdresser and had her leave shorter front pieces as-is but lowlight in a zigzag to break up "skunk stripe." That got me over a big hump and then I just white-knuckled it from then. Kept hair ~ shoulder length the whole time and found wearing it up helped with the ombre situation. Had lots of support here, from Mr Vix, from many pals, from random people. Did/do not have support from still-coloring mom -- she doesn't like the age-marker on me as it ages her! -- but her friends love it haha! Suz on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1826644 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 14:25:20 +0000 Suz 1826644@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Mainlady-- love your new hair!  Navy is a complete slam dunk for me with my grey. It was always one of my best colours.  RobinF on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1826611 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 13:35:29 +0000 RobinF 1826611@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I just saw this post. I have been tempted to let my hair go gray but haven't been able to take the plunge. I am 55 and my mom and aunt still color their hair (!) so it would be a big deal to be grayer than they are!  But regardless, this monthly hair coloring is a hassle. My skin tone is warm, although pale, so I am afraid that it would just look dull and mousy. Love the new look, Mainlady! Stagiaire Fash on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1826460 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 03:13:56 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1826460@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This close-up shows what I like best about becoming a "silver fox"; it isn't all sleek silver. The actual texture of my hair is changing very little, but the appearance of the different shades mixing together gives it visual interest, almost like texture. Mainelady on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1826348 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 00:02:24 +0000 Mainelady 1826348@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ With the help of my hairdresser, I have begun the transition to gray hair....well, it looks like a lot of mine is white, or silver. Here are some pictures. The first 2 pictures are before I left for the salon. The others are after spending hours in the chair, over the course of 2 days. Tomorrow I will spend some time trying on tops to see which colors work with my new look. So far, navy is a winner. Suz on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1822806 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 15:59:20 +0000 Suz 1822806@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Theories are always worth floating!  But honestly, I think it has more to do with health, financial means, interest in fashion.  I definitely don't see "too youthful for me." I'm far more likely to see "wrong style for me," or "wrong cut for me," or "not a great colour for me."  I dress essentially the way I dressed at 20, with updates, of course. Admittedly, I do not have to work in an office, and I wonder if complaints are coming more from women who do. It might be difficult to find fashionable, modest, and age-appropriate office wear. I know that other area of complaint is dresses. They are often too short. That is not necessarily age related. I would have disliked extremely short skirts when I was 20 also.  anchie on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1822805 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 15:56:57 +0000 anchie 1822805@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ In my experience women are more understanding and accepting of grey hair then men. I got my share of comments about 'what i was thinking' and 'when will i start coloring again' and 'that I looked much better with colored hair' and they were all from men. Fortunately my husband is not one of those. I am also one of those who did not expirience any change in hair structure, it feels same as before. I have completly white hair arround my face and find it difficult to maintain even with many different purple based products. I have not changed the way I dress or colors I wear at all. But I never liked brown and beige anyway. i will be 48 in 10 days and I don't think I look older then that because of my hair. Laura G on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1822795 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 15:17:14 +0000 Laura G 1822795@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Well, it was a theory! I had noticed that I seemed to be alone in wearing pretty much what I always wore, and also in being late to gray, so I put two and two together and evidently got twelve. As for the binary switch, I was picturing a woman trying on current fashions in a store--if she sees gray hair in the mirror, the clothes look too youthful, "not for me", but if she sees her original color, they look fine. Like I said, a theory... Stagiaire Fash on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1822674 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 03:17:49 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1822674@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Marilyn, now you've got me thinking of white and grey haired icons I admire. Christine Legard comes to mind immediately. And now I'm wondering if Ruth Bader Ginsburg colors her hair. Marilyn on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1822644 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 00:34:04 +0000 Marilyn 1822644@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I stopped using a demi to cover my grays 13 months ago after being inspired by women here who have done so.  I'm 53.  I thought I would be more gray than I am....I'm about 20% according to my stylist. I just went cold turkey letting my demi fade out.....no intervention from a stylist.  I must say it IS liberating.  My hair is shoulder length and every time I get a cut it gets healthier.  I still have about 5 inches of old hair to go. Can't wait! I do have days of doubt.  Other days I feel great about it.  It's a process but I'm embracing it and just going with it.  Recently, a women who I chat with while dog walking said, "ok....I have to ask about your hair".  I braced myself for a  "what the heck are you doing" but she said I had inspired her to go gray.  She said my hair looked great.....that the gray looks intentional and like highlights.  She's concerned about being viewed as old and such....all the things society throws at women.  I told her to search "gray hair over 50" on Pinterest to look at all the beautiful grayed haired women out there.  She said she already had a whole board. LOL  Anyway, I feel good knowing that I was able to pay forward the inspiration I gained here to another woman. My clothing hasn't changed much yet.  I wear a lot of black and I do find myself preferring navy more now.  It's a bit softer. On the hunt for navy!  Anonymous on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray/page/2#post-1822596 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 22:10:33 +0000 Anonymous 1822596@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ At age 55, I have a few white hairs, but I have no intention to embrace them because my skin is light. I already know how bad my white eyelashes look. I don't need a head full of white hair. The Cat on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray#post-1822589 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 21:56:52 +0000 The Cat 1822589@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I very much agree with what Suz wrote: "My silver hair actually seems to make it easier for me to pick items that have a bit more edge!" I also don't feel that most clothes are "too youthful for me". For instance, I still often shop at H&M, just as I did as a teenager more than 40 years ago. I admit that I really wish most shops would have many more dresses and skirts that were kneelength or longer. But that has to do with my lifestyle (I need dresses/skirts for about 10 appointments a week) and my height (I am a bit taller than the average woman), not with my age. My younger friends and colleagues my height or taller are sharing my wish for greater variety when it comes to dresses and skirts. Suz on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray#post-1822582 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 21:32:46 +0000 Suz 1822582@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Laura, I'm not sure I completely understand what you're saying about the "binary switch" -- but I am decidedly grey now and I feel more like Gaby Meyers in that my silver hair actually seems to make it easier for me to pick items that have a bit more edge!  With grey hair, I don't feel that most clothes are "too youthful for me" -- if anything, it feels easier to wear the fashion forward styles I prefer. I am not sure why, but it is something about feeling as if I am expressing a message of ongoing vitality vs. trying to look young by dressing in this way.  Laura G on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray#post-1822575 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 20:54:01 +0000 Laura G 1822575@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I kept being surprised by women that I thought went gray very early (in their 50s). It took a decade or so, but I finally figured out they're the norm and I'm the outlier. I have some bright silver hairs at 60 and my mother is salt-and-pepper at 77, as was her father when he died at 93. There are plenty of signs of aging in my body and face, and they've forced changes in the way I dress, but pretty minor ones. Gray hair, on the other hand, is not just a sign but a symbol of aging, and I wonder if gray hair acts as a kind of binary switch that makes the clothes available in stores suddenly seem "too youthful for me". It's just a guess, but it could possibly explain why I don't really get the widespread perception that the fashion industry isn't making clothes for the age I am now.  Stagiaire Fash on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray#post-1822558 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 19:08:38 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1822558@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have grey streaks here and there, most notably in a spot where I always had a slighter lighter-color streak. I call it my natural highlighting. I think my haircut is pretty simple, but have found it's important to have it done well. One new hairdresser (at Aveda, of all places) laughed when I mentioned the "natural highlights" thing. The cut she gave me looked dowdy and lifeless. I've found it well worth my while to shop around for someone who can work with the color that's there. People tend to group grey and white hair together. Aren't they actually pretty different? My mom began coloring her hair in her 30s, kept it up until chemo made most of it fall out in her 70s. It has come back so white Billy Idol would be jealous. She keeps it straight, has it cut in a bob, wears more bright colors than ever, and looks great. Gaby Meyers on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray#post-1822554 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 18:47:27 +0000 Gaby Meyers 1822554@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Ladies, I've really enjoyed reading all your stories and advice.  I stopped coloring my hair 10 years ago at 58 and looked forward to less time spent at the salon and some financial savings.  However, that being said my gray was disappointing. I have very fair skin and the gray just made me look old and washed out.  I found out it takes time and patience.  It's a self discovery process all over again trying new makeup, clothing and colors to determine what works best for me as everyone is so different. I have to say I'm enjoying this new adventure. Here are a few things I've discovered: Navy can be softer and less harsh than black White next to my face is a good thing Saturated colors work much better than pastel Stay away from brown and beige near face Hair needs shine products  Eye makeup has become more important  I feel more empowered to purchase fashion items with a little more edge Think of this time as the next act or new beginning whatever you was to call it, experiment, try new things and have fun along the way. MaryAnne on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray#post-1822312 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 01:44:27 +0000 MaryAnne 1822312@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ More encouragement and inspiration! Thank you for the link, Cat. Lyn D. on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray#post-1822273 Sun, 09 Jul 2017 22:34:01 +0000 Lyn D. 1822273@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This will be a great journey! Well said Jenni- when we transition to grey the process is an inside and outside one that makes us stronger women along the way. The Cat on "Embracing my gray" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/embracing-my-gray#post-1822268 Sun, 09 Jul 2017 22:15:46 +0000 The Cat 1822268@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ MaryAnne and others who are going grey, the website "revolution gray" may also be of interest. Lots of shared experiences and inspiring tips. Here is the link: <a href="http://goinggrayblog.com/category/pimping-the-gray/" rel="nofollow">http://goinggrayblog.com/categ.....-the-gray/</a>