https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 26 Apr 2026 02:07:22 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1352631 Thu, 11 Sep 2014 02:41:33 +0000 mintytulip 1352631@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Coming out of lurkdom to say that I suck at sewing but I think it's good for me. I love fabric and the act of sewing. It forces me to be precise, think critically/objectively about my body (not in a negative way, just on how to drape/sew fabric) and is just good practice using my less-used parts of my brain!</p> <p>That said, it can get really, really frustrating. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1352519 Thu, 11 Sep 2014 00:56:11 +0000 Anonymous 1352519@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have been pondering this question for a week and I could not think of anything until this moment. I love to draw, but I suck at it. I can look at a picture and draw that well, but I can't draw looking at scenery, or still life, or even from imagination. </p> <p>There! Now I can sleep at night.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1345652 Wed, 03 Sep 2014 00:29:51 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1345652@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Telling jokes. I can never remember them. But when I remember one, I like to tell it a lot, because I love to get a laugh out of people. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1345341 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 17:27:12 +0000 rachylou 1345341@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Golf. I just love hitting those little balls with the stick. Unfortunately, I can't. They don't let me out on the green. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1345311 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 16:55:50 +0000 ATLynn 1345311@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Baking. I love baking but my attempts, while edible, are never quite bakery quality (in taste, not just looks). Fortunately, I'm quite gifted at sauces, custards and frostings, which can cover up myriad sins in a base layer. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1345177 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 13:39:18 +0000 Aziraphale 1345177@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Doubleh, no, not at all! I got what you meant. I have just found that anything I spend time doing I tend to get better at over time -- that is, if I invest any effort at all. My track record with gardening is pretty weak, too, but I've always assumed it's because I take a slap-dash approach. My efforts are pretty much limited to occasionally hosing the plants when I remember to do it. I have no doubt that if I decided I was going to actually learn something about gardening (you know, like do some research and then -- crucially --&nbsp;<i>spend some time out there with a trowel and fertilizer</i>!) I'd get better quickly. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1345132 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 12:36:18 +0000 doubleh 1345132@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just read the super power thread and love that conversation too! &nbsp;Will go back to comment on it in a minute. &nbsp;Just wanted to pop back in to say that my original intention was more meant as "doing something you love/enjoy for the sake of doing it, rather than achieving perfection in everything". &nbsp;I hope no one took it negatively and focused only on&nbsp;the "suck" part! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1345126 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 12:29:45 +0000 doubleh 1345126@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Again, love reading this discussion! &nbsp;I think my original motivation to post was thinking along the terms of the "Martha" effect, as someone mentioned, or what I consider the Pinterest effect. &nbsp;Almost like to have an interest you have to excel at it, photo it, and post it and it has to look effortless and perfect. &nbsp;And while I wish I could woofy-poofy be excellent at everything I'm interested in, there are those things I have no interest in getting a degree in; I just like to do. &nbsp;I also like to draw and I have acquired the skill over the years. &nbsp;However, I would never consider myself an artist as I don't have the inner vision to match my technical skills. &nbsp;I still consider it worth the effort when I do.<br />More "journey" than "destination".<br />(oh, and thank you Anne!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1345066 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 10:05:21 +0000 anne 1345066@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>BTW double H I love your icon on your name. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1345065 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 10:04:45 +0000 anne 1345065@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another "love running but not good at it" girl here. I think I must have a whole lot of technique wrong and having such short legs wouldn't help. Part of me want to knuckle down and get good and it and I don't think that would stop my enjoying it&nbsp; - but I can't give exercise that much priority in my life. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1344962 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 02:35:51 +0000 Carla 1344962@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Although I make the best apple pie EVER! I just can not master lemon meringue! It is DH's favourite, but after several unsuccessful attempts, I have given up and it is just not in my repertoire of baking. </p> <p>Janet, I consider myself 'a runner' and have been at it for over 40 years, but I have never been fast. My best marathon ever was 4 hrs 41 minutes and I haven't run under 30 min for a 5k (3 miles) since my 30's. Being slow doesn't make you a 'bad' runner, just a slow one! :-). We would probably be very compatible training partners! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1344942 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 02:10:27 +0000 rabbit 1344942@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Really interesting discussion, I agree with <b>Aziraphale </b>about the drawing, it can be taught, because it's basically a little motor control and a lot of learning how to see IMO. &nbsp; Like her I did a lot of sketching&nbsp;as a child and it had ripple effects as I grew up.</p> <p>There have been various things I've sucked at (soccer, playing musical instruments, cardinal directions) but none of them have been a real passion, just something I tried for awhile.&nbsp;&nbsp;I guess the closest would be cross-country skiing, because I really saw the potential and enjoyed it in the right conditions, but I wipe out continuously. &nbsp;</p> <p>There are other things that I love, but also have strong&nbsp;fears associated with, like loving travel, but fearing flying, &nbsp;or loving hiking/backpacking but fearing exposed heights/drop-offs on trails. &nbsp;That's where I have the most internal struggle, because I want to keep doing it, and work around the mental roadblocks.<br />&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1344936 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 02:02:47 +0000 Gaylene 1344936@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's interesting how my feelings about being crummy at something I really like to do have changed in the past few years. In my 30-50s, I'd keep at something until I could get proficient, if not expert, at all kinds of things--dressmaking, skiing, computers--whatever I started, I'd keep doggedly going until I could be proficient. Competition fired me up and I'd do whatever it took to keep up with those around me. </p> <p>Somehow retirement gave me permission to stop this constant striving. I started golfing and, although I love it, I realized fairly early I'd never be more than mediocre, social golfer. Strangely, that made golf a lot more fun. Being a crummy golfer means I can spend more time enjoying the surroundings and the people I'm with than concentrating on improving myself. If I do well, I'm pleased; if I bungle a shot, I'm OK because I know I'll get a chance to do better in a few minutes. Anyway I cut it, I'm having fun. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1344915 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 01:45:28 +0000 Jules 1344915@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the 10,000 hours thing has been somewhat debunked. The Beatles had something special that made those 10000 hours worthwhile. Being a really tight cover band is not the same thing.<br /> Some things demand practice makes perfect - driving. Some do not - yoga, gardening, cooking. And that is part of the beauty of those things, IMHO. Of course I'm drawn to areas where I succeed, but I don't regret at all that I haven't perfected everything I enjoy, nor is that a goal for me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1344898 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 01:30:03 +0000 Aziraphale 1344898@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If you've got to be awesome at two things, you couldn't have chosen&nbsp;better things than your parental responsibilities and your job! ;-)&nbsp;(Marital arts is a bonus!). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1344891 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 01:25:50 +0000 MsMary 1344891@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aziraphale, don't remember saying I had to be great RIGHT from the get-go.&nbsp; But I will cop to needing to be pretty great PDQ in order to continue.&nbsp; </p> <p>But I think we're actually making the same point, which is that to be truly excellent at something you have to put in the time.&nbsp; So the lawyer-mothers like me generally concentrate on being excellent mothers and lawyers and let the rest of it fall by the wayside.&nbsp; (When my son got a little older I got heavily into martial arts and did that almost every day and got excellent at it.)&nbsp; These days, I make an exception for tap class because I love it, even though I choose not to put in the 20,000 hours. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love/page/2#post-1344879 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 01:15:23 +0000 Aziraphale 1344879@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>MsMary, you must be quite a talented woman! If I had to be great at everything right from the get-go in order to keep doing it, I don't think there's a single thing I could do! I'm usually mediocre at best when I first try something. :-)</p> <p>This is a really good discussion.&nbsp;It <i>is</i> true that some of us are naturally better than others at certain things. Some people have a pretty singing voice, for sure. I think a lot of that is genetic, just like having red hair or big feet.&nbsp;But it's also true that when people really <i>excel</i>&nbsp;at things, and barring any physical limitations (for example, no amount of practice could ever have made me a top basketball player, as I am simply not tall enough),&nbsp;it's&nbsp;because of a sh*tload of practice --&nbsp;and usually, they are not forcing themselves to practice. The practice happens organically. They start with perhaps a small natural advantage -- an aptitude -- and they keep doing it because the rewards of their efforts spur them on.&nbsp;What is it, 20 000 hours to make you a master? Something like that. And for those who attain mastery aren't beating themselves up to practice every day. Some days, maybe. But mostly, they're just highly motivated.</p> <p>Take drawing. Most people think they suck at it. A few are really good, and there's not a whole lot in between. People think that those who can draw are "gifted". We are not.&nbsp;Drawing is on of the few things I do very&nbsp;well. I was already way ahead of my peers&nbsp;by the age of ten. But guess how many hours I spent drawing between the ages of two and ten? Probably fifty times more than the average child. For whatever reason, I liked drawing a lot more than most other activities as a child. Maybe I started with a small advantage, who knows? But the thing is, by the time I was ten, most kids had decided that either they could draw, or they couldn't. Those who thought they couldn't simply gave up.</p> <p>Anyone who wants to get really good at drawing (or violin, or soccer, or math)&nbsp;can. (Well, mostly anyone. I'm sure there are exceptions, just like my mom was almost mentally handicapped when it came to numbers!). The problem is, who, once they reach adulthood, has time to put in the 20 000 hours of practice? Approximately nobody. ;-)&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344874 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 01:10:06 +0000 Gaylene 1344874@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm, how does that "not doing anything if you weren't great at it" hold up when those female lawyers have kids?</p> <p>Because much as I loved being a mom, I always felt like I was picking myself up after yet another fumbling, stumbling experience. Luckily both kids turned out great but I give more credit to their resilience than my awesome parenting skills. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344843 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 00:31:05 +0000 MsMary 1344843@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Okay, one more funny story:&nbsp; Shortly after I started taking tap class, I remarked that generally when I am this bad at something, I just don't do it.&nbsp; In fact, I try not to do anything I'm not great at.&nbsp; All the ladies in the class were horrified and exclaimed that they did stuff they aren't good at all the time, and I should, too.&nbsp; To which perfectionist me inwardly rolled her eyes and thought "whatevs..."</p> <p>A couple of weeks later I was at a Bar Association dinner and told that story to a group of women lawyers.&nbsp; They all exclaimed "Of course!&nbsp; Why on earth would you do anything if you weren't great at it!?"&nbsp; Heh... THOSE are my people!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344841 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 00:26:50 +0000 doubleh 1344841@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It has been so interesting to read everyone's responses- thanks for chiming in! &nbsp;There are certainly things I enjoy doing and I seek to constantly learn and improve- sewing, for instance. &nbsp;But there are a few things that I enjoy- like gardening, singing that to strive for perfection would suck all the fun out of it. &nbsp;Like Janet I tend to be a perfectionist, but there are certain things I just write off from the start.<br />I just remembered that in high school I did track one year and was sooo slow. I went to every practice, got really in shape and loved the social aspect. &nbsp;BUT, I hated competing and skipped all but two meets. &nbsp;Nobody cared or even noticed. &nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344839 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 00:23:19 +0000 Janet 1344839@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Uh, Mo, I'm thrilled if I get back to a sustained 11-min mile. I've never done 9. I truly suck at running. </p> <p>Oh yeah, I suck at skiing too but I've only done it twice in the last 15 years. I'm great on the easy slopes but can't get comfortable on the intermediate ones. </p> <p>Fact is, I suck at pretty much anything athletic. It's downright amazing that anyone considers me an athlete. I have no speed what.so.ever. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344785 Mon, 01 Sep 2014 23:16:19 +0000 Mo 1344785@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm not sure I would say I&nbsp;suck, but I don't run very fast. &nbsp;At my 'prime' when I was just 40 I could do about a 9 min mile. &nbsp;That's what I get for waiting until my late 30's to start lol. &nbsp;After a severe ankle sprain and a few more turns of the calendar I seem perpetually stuck around 10 min mile unless racing in a 5K.&nbsp;<br />And it's not for lack of practice!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344770 Mon, 01 Sep 2014 23:01:23 +0000 Classically Casual 1344770@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As of this morning, DH &amp; I are making another attempt to learn Tai Chi.<br /> It looks SO EASY when someone proficient does it.</p> <p>For the frustrated gardeners, some locales have garden coaches. There's a lot to learn about gardening besides the ongoing maintenance. Might be worth investigating... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344749 Mon, 01 Sep 2014 22:19:57 +0000 MsMary 1344749@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting discussion about "if you still suck at it you're not practicing enough."&nbsp; I think that's partly true, but it is also undeniably true that we each have certain areas of endeavor that come easy for us, and some that don't.&nbsp; The reason I say I "suck" at tap dancing is several-fold: 1. I'm not all that naturally gifted at it; 2. I can only fit in three lessons a month, which isn't enough to get really proficient even after several years (and no, I don't practice at home); 3. Our teacher is quite demanding and keeps upping the ante.&nbsp; So no sooner do we master the shuffle-ball-change than we're off to time steps and back-to-Hollywoods and perididdles and all manner of fiendishly difficult new steps and combinations.&nbsp; So we're always working on something that we haven't yet mastered, and that makes it easy to feel like we suck at it. </p> <p>The reality, though, is that it's all relative.&nbsp; Last summer our class took a hiatus&nbsp; and I went to a "tappercise" class at the local rec center.&nbsp; These ladies tap for exercise, and they've been doing the same routines to the same songs for years.&nbsp; And guess what?&nbsp; Even though I was new I was still one of the best tappers in the class because the routines were so simple!&nbsp; I try to remember that when I get frustrated with Miss Amanda's unreasonable tapping demands!&nbsp; LOL </p> <p>Coming back to say that one of my mottoes is "anything worth doing, is worth doing badly."&nbsp; If my choices are to tap every day and get great at it, which isn't really an option for a variety of reasons, or do what I'm doing and kind of suck at something I nevertheless love, I'm taking the second one!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344742 Mon, 01 Sep 2014 21:57:16 +0000 annagybe 1344742@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Skiing. Spent scads of money on private lessons. Forever doomed to the blues and greens. I could probably get better if I made a concerted effort to get to the mountain every weekend all winter. But that's impossible for me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344659 Mon, 01 Sep 2014 19:06:56 +0000 Nebraskim 1344659@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I suck at running but I still do it because I love it. I suck at dancing and NEVER DO IT EVER even in the privacy of my own walk-in closet. I refused to have music at my own wedding reception because I was afraid someone would pull me onto the dance floor and humiliate me. Luckily, my spouse equally dislikes dancing so this is something we never have to do together. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344589 Mon, 01 Sep 2014 17:03:39 +0000 Anonymous 1344589@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I cannot throw a baseball to save my life. And it has bothered me since I was a kid. &nbsp;Have I done anything to rectify this? No. &nbsp; Which is an interesting concept. I also suck at drawing, but don't really care much about that. Throwing though - hmmm - off to practice throwing crabapples over into my neighbour's yard. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344585 Mon, 01 Sep 2014 16:56:30 +0000 lyn* 1344585@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Drawing, sketching ... I've taken classes (and was actually removed from one), so I'm mainly an admirerer at this point. My sister is very talented in this area. </p> <p>ETA: I agree with the "Martha" syndrome - I get a little antsy when things aren't perfect, but I'm getting better at letting it go.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344560 Mon, 01 Sep 2014 16:12:38 +0000 Gaylene 1344560@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm, I tend to agree with Elisabeth that sucking at something usually is because (1) I might like X in theory but, in reality, I don't care to expend the effort and time CONSISTENTLY to get really good at it and (2) I have unrealistic expectations about what the final product ought to look like or what is realistic goal for me. </p> <p>Part of the problem, I think, is when the Martha syndrome--glorious flower beds never touched by an insect or weed, speaking French like a native, dancing and singing like a professional, playing a sport with innate grace and agility--gets battered by our realization that those achievements are not the norm. Straight A students are a rarity, although we too often act as though that standard ought to be within everyone's reach. </p> <p>Being crummy at something you enjoy isn't a bad thing if you focus on the pleasure you get from the process. That's what kids do--and that's probably why they end up getting so good at things. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-suck-at-something-you-love#post-1344526 Mon, 01 Sep 2014 15:11:29 +0000 Aziraphale 1344526@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is an odd question. My experience has been that persistent practice leads to becoming good at things. I suck at a lot of things at the beginning.&nbsp;If I enjoy an activity, I keep doing it, and then I get better.&nbsp;There are things I still suck at (including gardening; apparently you have to remember to <i>water</i> the plants), but to paraphrase&nbsp;the marvellous Elizabeth Bennett,&nbsp;I have always supposed that to be my own fault -- because I would&nbsp;not take the trouble of practising! ;-)</p>