YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 16 Apr 2026 16:45:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Cee on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d/page/2#post-2156982 Tue, 01 Dec 2020 01:39:02 +0000 Cee 2156982@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Combat vest-flac jacket ? cindysmith on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d/page/2#post-2156955 Mon, 30 Nov 2020 21:31:52 +0000 cindysmith 2156955@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I feel safest in RATE/hard/edgy looks. My soft clothes make me feel more lux and elegant, but when I want to feel safe I got for stuff that has a "do NOT mess with me" vibe: black, grey, distressed, leather... Stagiaire Fash on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d/page/2#post-2155928 Tue, 24 Nov 2020 13:41:56 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2155928@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So interesting to hear the many ways people interpret the word “safe”! Astrid’s idea of fuss-free is probably closest to how I’d understand it—something that lets me be me and get on with my life. I have the opposite feeling about accidental crotch shots from April. I try to avoid them too, of course—swing legs to the side together before stepping out—but if I do that by mistake, I think of it as an offense to the person who saw it, not as a danger to myself. I think I generally feel safe most of the time, so it isn’t something I usually think about. Anonymous on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d/page/2#post-2155908 Tue, 24 Nov 2020 12:51:57 +0000 Anonymous 2155908@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Safe is several things to me: Brights for visibility- for biking or hiking during hunting season Quiet/covered things- to avoid attracting unwanted attention from picky bosses and creepy men Physical safety-biking helmet, arm/finger guard for archery Weatherproof (inc modesty) things- warm coat, snowboots, dark colors on rainy days, fitted/long skirts on windy days Things that aren't otherwise revealing- tops that stay put, skirts that don't ride up Astrid on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d/page/2#post-2155897 Tue, 24 Nov 2020 12:22:08 +0000 Astrid 2155897@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes, I do. But like Deborah said, secure might be the better word. It’s a feeling I have when I wear things that a) are so comfortable I forget wearing them b) feel like me c) that I know suit me d) make me feel the way I want to feel that day.  Deborah on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d/page/2#post-2155843 Tue, 24 Nov 2020 04:29:42 +0000 Deborah 2155843@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Secure might  be a better word for me rather than safe but  yes I totally get this although I find it hard to put onto words.  <div> </div><div>I often choose my outfits based on how I feel.  Some days I need an outfit that acts as armour, other days maybe an outfit that reveals vulnerability  xxx </div> suzieq on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d/page/2#post-2155811 Tue, 24 Nov 2020 03:04:56 +0000 suzieq 2155811@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ If it’s safe vs. risky, all of my clothing is safe. April on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d/page/2#post-2155444 Sun, 22 Nov 2020 12:24:09 +0000 April 2155444@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The first time I felt "safe" because of a garment was back in my early days on YLF, when <a rel="nofollow" href="https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/leggings-thread-please-post-all-your-leggings-ensembles-here">we were all pairing leggings with dresses</a>.  I had never realized how cautious I was when, for example, entering or leaving a car, until the leggings provided extra coverage. Helena on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d/page/2#post-2155150 Fri, 20 Nov 2020 19:48:23 +0000 Helena 2155150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Aquamarine, you described my own feelings about safe much better than I did ... Agree 100% with your definition! delurked on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d/page/2#post-2155060 Fri, 20 Nov 2020 15:38:59 +0000 delurked 2155060@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Seems safe has a lot of interpretations. Aquamarine - I think this is a good observation. My friend is an introvert who doesn’t like the spotlight on her. Aquamarine on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d/page/2#post-2155055 Fri, 20 Nov 2020 15:07:52 +0000 Aquamarine 2155055@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ As an introvert who dislikes attention, “safe” clothing is anything that won’t draw attention! So it would depend on the situation and even my mood. There are some times I want attention, and then I might take a “risk” — for ME. RobinF on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2155028 Fri, 20 Nov 2020 13:13:08 +0000 RobinF 2155028@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmm interesting question. I found myself reading each response and saying "yes that's it!" - haha I am so agreeable. I think for me it would be clothing that fits in regardless, not too out there or noticeable. Bijou on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154998 Fri, 20 Nov 2020 09:20:09 +0000 Bijou 2154998@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The only time I think of wearing 'safe' clothing is when I need to be taken seriously at work, for example, acting as an expert witness in a Court case. For these occasions I wear either a navy or black suit - something that looks business-like and capable, my version of 'safe'. Lynne on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154988 Fri, 20 Nov 2020 07:20:05 +0000 Lynne 2154988@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Safe can have positive and negative connotations. In terms of being sure of myself, I have certainly dressed in a very 'safe for me ' way to boost my confidence when I'm feeling uncertain. But in a safe and supported space, ie being out with friends or in a very collegial environment, I'd be more willing to take a sartorial risk. I've been reading Dawnn Karen's book, Dress Your Best Life (trigger warning: sexual assault), and she speaks a lot about the way clothes can comfort, protect, and empower us. People even achieve better test scores if they're wearing a superhero t-shirts! So I can definitely relate to your friends sentiments :). debbie23 on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154976 Fri, 20 Nov 2020 05:28:09 +0000 debbie23 2154976@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Has your friend ever experienced some kind of severe trauma? Sometimes women who have been through these experiences think of certain things as “safe” that others wouldn’t. Echo on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154959 Fri, 20 Nov 2020 03:43:03 +0000 Echo 2154959@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmm, I think this really depends on one's definition. "Safe" to me means boring, or that it will not attract any attention, good or ill. In that sense, I never want to dress "safe." When I want to project confidence, I dress up, but I've never really perceived that as safe. I imagine a lot of this and our perceptions of "safe" clothing depends on our background and experiences. I can understand why someone might find modest clothing "safe", but I've never felt vulnerable due to clothing, so my feelings would differ from someone who had. Carla on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154917 Fri, 20 Nov 2020 01:02:12 +0000 Carla 2154917@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ These days the only thing I fear when going out in the world is the elements - especially the cold.  My cobalt maxi-puffer makes me feel safe since it’s super warm and highly visible.   Gigi on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154904 Fri, 20 Nov 2020 00:25:35 +0000 Gigi 2154904@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I can relate to this. It's not so much that I associate safety with a particular item of clothing--it's more that I sometimes feel the need to "armor" myself against people I'll be seeing on a given day. That might mean a very nondescript outfit, or an outfit that has very little skin exposed, or a very professional outfit, depending on the situation. I'm guessing that if a turtleneck in particular makes someone feel safe, it probably has to do with the high neckline making her feel less exposed.  Stagiaire Fash on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154894 Thu, 19 Nov 2020 22:59:04 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2154894@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ There’s also safe for a particular situation, like something that’s so middle of the road that it’d be hard for anyone to take offense to it. Yes, and those are dependent on environment. The all-black that TG says she knows won’t get her extra attention would absolutely draw stares in my hometown in SE Ohio. Molly Mac on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154875 Thu, 19 Nov 2020 21:05:21 +0000 Molly Mac 2154875@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I never thought of clothes as safe until COVID. Safe clothing for me now means clogs that can be repeatedly wiped down with bleach, scrubs that can be washed on hot wash setting several times a week, and a scrub cap.  delurked on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154872 Thu, 19 Nov 2020 20:55:51 +0000 delurked 2154872@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Cat2 - I believe this may be close to her thoughts. Plus, not needing to fuss with a lower neckline. cat2 on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154865 Thu, 19 Nov 2020 20:37:44 +0000 cat2 2154865@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmm, I have safe work clothes, things that I know will not draw an errant gaze. Laura (rhubarbgirl) on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154859 Thu, 19 Nov 2020 19:59:54 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 2154859@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Safe for me would be stuff that I know I can rely on (doesn’t wrinkle horribly, stain easily, fabric is sturdy, fasteners are all solid) and that stays put when I move, probably with a fairly ‘modest’ cut to it. I definitely thought that way a lot when I commuted via train in a big city: if an outfit wasn’t flexible and adaptable it made my day feel a lot more stressful. There’s also safe for a particular situation, like something that’s so middle of the road that it’d be hard for anyone to take offense to it. Helena on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154848 Thu, 19 Nov 2020 19:06:33 +0000 Helena 2154848@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I get this, I think ... For me, a black sweater and jeans makes me feel psychologically safe because I know I won't really stand out or be a potential target for the opinions of others ... If that makes sense? Anonymous on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154847 Thu, 19 Nov 2020 19:01:38 +0000 Anonymous 2154847@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Could be safe from unwanted attention, negative, especially hostile, judgement, being perceived as vulnerable, etc., I wouldn't describe items of clothing this way but the composition of my outfits, absolutely. For me this mindset dates directly to years in NYC and Miami so maybe it has an urban origin? Anonymous on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154846 Thu, 19 Nov 2020 18:56:17 +0000 Anonymous 2154846@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ When I went into the office every day, if I anticipated a particularly stressful day, I would select certain garments that either acted as armor and provided comfort.  That is akin to selecting clothing to feel safe.  It seemed to provide psychologic support.  I also have a ring that I superstitiously believe brings me good luck.  I would always wear that ring when I felt I needed a boost.   I like the second sentence you listed in your response.  "Safe in that it makes her feel she is presenting herself to the world in a way that matches her vision of herself."   If I had to guess, I probably fall into this category of "safe" dresser.   delurked on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154842 Thu, 19 Nov 2020 18:45:18 +0000 delurked 2154842@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Safe from feeling exposed, I would guess. From being looked at in a way that is uncomfortable to her. Safe in that it makes her feel she is presenting herself to the world in a way that matches her vision of herself. Anonymous on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154837 Thu, 19 Nov 2020 18:29:37 +0000 Anonymous 2154837@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Safe from what, exactly? Stagiaire Fash on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154828 Thu, 19 Nov 2020 18:01:30 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2154828@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <div>"outfits or articles of clothing that I know won't malfunction on me, that will get me through the day going from one activity to another."</div><div> </div><div>That kind of thing crossed my mind as well. Specifically, I thought of what would make me feel not safe, but not in a physical danger kind of way. Wrap dresses with skirts that are prone to unwrapping and tops that are prone to sliding open and that generally make me feel like I need to check on them all the time. I don't get as far as being panicked or anxious, but it is definitely a comfortable kind of feeling for me. What I wear generally has a pretty high "goof proof" factor that some people might interpret as "safe" </div> Suz on "Do you have clothing that makes you feel “safe”?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-clothing-that-makes-you-feel-%e2%80%9csafe%e2%80%9d#post-2154822 Thu, 19 Nov 2020 17:36:50 +0000 Suz 2154822@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Interesting. I've never used that term in my head, exactly, but I do hear a lot of people here talking about clothing as "armour" which would imply a protective element to some pieces.  If I were to use the word safe, it might be about outfits or articles of clothing that I know won't malfunction on me, that will get me through the day going from one activity to another. For me, it might mean a favourite outfit formula -- jeans, blazer, nice top, good footwear.  I might also say it  about gear -- footwear that won't make me turn my ankle or that will get me down a pebbly patch of trail without falling flat on my bum. Also, protective reflectors and lights for going outdoors in the dark on my dark suburban streets (this is crucial).  I