https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 10 May 2026 16:35:27 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121303 Sun, 17 May 2020 18:28:26 +0000 Jenn 2121303@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>FWIW,&nbsp;<b>Lisa,&nbsp;</b>if not quarterly, I have <a rel="nofollow" href="https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/rut-rut-rutty-rut-rut">at leas</a>t <a rel="nofollow" href="https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/this-time-of-year">semi-annual</a> meltdowns, so you're not alone. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121299 Sun, 17 May 2020 18:07:55 +0000 Anonymous 2121299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Janet</b> - I love your comment about how <b>feeling good in your clothes</b> is more important than being trendy. That is SO true and such an important thing to keep in mind. &nbsp; </p> <p>To me, you do a very good job with staying true to your style while adding in the odd new item. &nbsp;You're not all over the place, and that is commendable. &nbsp;And I know what you mean about feeling envious of those who can wear the trendy looks with ease - but I guess there will always be someone who can wear something better , regardless.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121288 Sun, 17 May 2020 17:09:59 +0000 Janet 2121288@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well heck, just when I was finally getting around to thinking about this! Yeah, I’m a day late and a dollar short. </p> <p>Back to the original questions:</p> <p>Do you own the clothes you really like and want? Can you find them easily at retail? Are you projecting the image you want?</p> <p>Well, yes and no.<br /> Mostly yes.</p> <p>I do own clothes I like and want. But I see things online that I like and want that do not suit my body, lifestyle, or budget, so I don’t have *all* the stuff I want. Despite my love for shopping and fashion, I am hugely practical at heart, so I never go far down the path of choosing things that don’t suit my life or my style. I do fall into the trap of wishful buying sometimes, but I’m getting better. That occasionally ends up manifesting itself in the form of either clothes that don’t really look good on my body, or are just a bit too precious or fussy for my messy life. </p> <p>It has been harder to find things at retail in the last couple of years. For one thing, I’m getting pickier. And then there is the fact that b&amp;m stores are not what they once were (before Covid 19 — they’ll be even less after this). I’m not as fond of internet shopping but we do what we must. </p> <p>Am I projecting the image I want? Hmm. I’d say usually I am. I’m getting better at styling what I do have to make it work for me, and at letting go of things that appeal to me on some level (“but it looks so good on so-and-so!”) but just don’t work for me, despite my best efforts. </p> <p>My biggest issue with not being content with my style is actually how clothes that I like but that don’t like me back fit my body. I try on something that looks cool and easy on someone else (for instance, any of the trendy jeans that Angie or kkards wear so well, or the cute shift dresses that look adorable on so many other women), and they look matronly or tortured and ridiculous on my body. But it just means that I have mostly decided to keep working with what I know works on me, flattery-wise, because feeling good in my clothes is more important than being trendy. I don’t want to be in a rut, but for the most part, I think I know what works on me in terms of color and silhouette,<br /> and I don’t feel the need to mess with it too much. If I can put together an outfit that has a little bit of edge or a touch of masculinity even, a hint of sportiness or nonchalance, and some structure, I’m usually content.</p> <p>There is definitely a seasonal component to all this for me too. I feel much more like I can dress how I really want in the cooler weather. Jackets, jeans, boots...all much more friendly to my body and style than dresses, shorts, and hot-weather items. I wilt in the heat, and I feel like I struggle with style more then. I’m not fond of baring my arms and legs either, but I suck it up and live with how I look in the summer. Again, practicality wins out!</p> <p>Lisa, I always like how you are real with these threads — we all struggle with this stuff from time to time. Your sharing this thread made me think more about my own level of contentment with my style, and how true I stay to it. Thank you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121274 Sun, 17 May 2020 16:40:07 +0000 Anonymous 2121274@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi &nbsp;I took absolutely NO offense to anything said! &nbsp;By anyone! Touche means - point taken, or "good one". &nbsp;Jenni and Carla are both absolutely right, and I don't mind being caught out on my own BS. &nbsp;Both of them are straight talkers, and know they can communicate with me in that vein because I'm one too. &nbsp;It didn't bother me in the slightest. The only reason I ended the thread is because it got embarrassingly off track . But hey - carry on - I don't mind at all!</p> <p></p> <p></p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121271 Sun, 17 May 2020 16:23:32 +0000 Anonymous 2121271@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for reassuring me, <b>Synne</b>. &nbsp;I was concerned that I somehow derailed the conversation. &nbsp;Best wishes to you and your Loved Ones. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121270 Sun, 17 May 2020 16:20:50 +0000 Synne 2121270@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No, Sterling! I especially loved your contributions here! Awkwardly trying to express my self in a second language here... I mean, I can relate to LisaP wanting to shut the thread down when it feels too personal, when that maybe wasnt the intent of the thread... This is why I try to shy away from "deep" discussions here, I LOVE reading them but fail miserably when I try to jump in! You didn't sound disrespectful at all. Quite the contrary. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121267 Sun, 17 May 2020 16:10:22 +0000 Anonymous 2121267@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Synne</b> -- I don't understand your last sentence. &nbsp;I don't think anyone was disrespectful or derailing the thread at Lisa's expense. &nbsp;The subject might have strayed a bit from her original intention. &nbsp;I jumped in on page 4, not having read all the previous comments. &nbsp;I thought the comments I did read were all trying to be helpful. &nbsp;</p> <p>Did I come across as being disrespectful? &nbsp;I promise you that was never my intent. &nbsp;I can't imagine for a minute that comments from <b>JenniNZ</b>, <b>Delurked</b>, or <b>RunCarla</b> were meant as anything other than constructive and honest. &nbsp;</p> <p>I'll stop commenting now because perhaps I did miss the point. &nbsp;If so, I am sorry for any miscommunications. &nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121262 Sun, 17 May 2020 15:28:42 +0000 Synne 2121262@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's a shame threads tend to end when we get to the core of the really interesting, thought provoking and sensitive topics. Just a sigh from the other side of the screen! Not sure I would have liked a discussion to derail too much to make a greater point on my own expense though.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121235 Sun, 17 May 2020 13:33:58 +0000 Anonymous 2121235@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I see you ended this thread.&nbsp;</p> <p>However, like <b>RunCarla</b>, I too did the work that was needed to help me evolve my style and focus my wardrobe. &nbsp;</p> <p>#1. I sat down with pencil and paper and mapped out my real (not imaginary) lifestyle. &nbsp;It wasn't eye opening. &nbsp;On some level, I already knew what my real lifestyle was, I just hadn't admitted it to myself. &nbsp;Example, I do not spend lots of time in winter ski chalets, yet I insisted on buying clothing for that exact lifestyle. &nbsp;Slaps forehead. &nbsp;</p> <p>#2. I did not identify my style descriptors or fashion persona. &nbsp;This step was exceptionally difficult for me. &nbsp;No words or pictures defined me.</p> <p>#3. I did not identify or honour my shadow <b></b>personas. &nbsp;I don't even know what this means. &nbsp;I must have missed some very important Forum posts.&nbsp;</p> <p>#4. Figure out a realistic budget and <u>stick to it</u>. &nbsp;I did this. &nbsp;I had no choice though. &nbsp;Just a fact of life for me. &nbsp;</p> <p>#5 Be prepared for change (and an opportunity for growth) when life throws you an unexpected curve. &nbsp; I was lucky. &nbsp;All the work I did previous to 2020 put me in a really good position for the rest of the year (unless I start to gain weight). &nbsp;At this moment, I have no needs. &nbsp;My current wardrobe covers every possible situation. Ok. &nbsp;Maybe I do want more cotton tee shirts. &nbsp;But I can live without them. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121233 Sun, 17 May 2020 13:23:12 +0000 Anonymous 2121233@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I did not read every single comment, but it seems to me that when the Forum offered you very constructive and well-meaning comments, you did not take it in the vein in which it was offered. &nbsp;I don't think either <b>JenniNZ</b> or <b>Delurked</b> were offering criticism, they were genuinely pointing out some problems that might have helped you resolve some of your issues. &nbsp;You reacted defensively when that posture was not warranted. &nbsp;</p> <p>I understand the concept of musing. &nbsp;But if you only respond to positive feedback, can you learn and grow or are you doomed to keep repeating the cycle because you refuse to entertain new ideas? &nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121160 Sun, 17 May 2020 00:28:28 +0000 Anonymous 2121160@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I absolutely understand that <b>quarterly</b> (ha &nbsp;- didn't think it was *quite* that often , but..) <b>meltdowns are tiresome</b>. </p> <p>What makes me laugh though is how the intent of this post got so far off track. &nbsp;I was interested in who else felt that she didn't have access to the kinds of clothes they really wanted, and thus ended up with a collection of not-quite-as-great items. That was it. Somewhere along the line - it derailed, I know it and apologize for it. When I apologize or note that I need to keep my thoughts to myself, that's all I mean. I'm not being a 10 year old threatening to go home because she's not having fun but secretly wants to be urged back. &nbsp;Writing disguises tone. &nbsp;Or at least for amateur writers like me ;)</p> <p>Thread ended .</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121157 Sun, 17 May 2020 00:16:17 +0000 Carla 2121157@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Learning opportunities? &nbsp;</p> </p> <p> <div>I believe your angst has resonance with all of us, but at some point in time you’ve got to listen, learn, and internalize the lessons. &nbsp;Quarterly meltdowns can get tiresome, IYKWIM.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>When I first joined YLF (26 pages of&nbsp;<i>my&nbsp;</i>posting ago - like Jenn, I revisit) I flitted and experimented a lot. &nbsp;It took me&nbsp;<b>5 years&nbsp;</b>to buckle down and do &nbsp;the&nbsp;<b>work&nbsp;</b>required to identify my style and then set in place a regime whereby by clothing and grooming&nbsp;choices reflected that style. &nbsp;It will require you to:</div><div><br /></div><div>#1. Identify your lifestyle (how you&nbsp;<i>really&nbsp;</i>spend the 24 hours of your day - the 168 hours of your week.)<br />#2. &nbsp;Identify <b>your&nbsp;</b>style descriptors and fashion persona<br />#3. Identify and honour your&nbsp;<b>shadow&nbsp;</b>personas<br />#4. &nbsp;Figure out a realistic budget, and stick to it<br />#5 &nbsp;Be prepared for change (and an opportunity for growth) when life throws you an unexpected curve</p> <p>There have been plenty of threads on all of these topics, and our fearless leader, Angie, regularly brings us through lessons on identifying personal style and effecting a wardrobe that provides us with &nbsp;the ability to get dressed every day in a comfortable, fun, and creative way that is personal to the individual that we are!</p> <p>You can do this Lisa. &nbsp;Have&nbsp;<i>fun&nbsp;</i>with fashion.</p> <p><b></b></p> <p> </div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/4#post-2121143 Sat, 16 May 2020 22:42:46 +0000 Jenni NZ 2121143@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh I didn’t want you to keep your musings to yourself! I love the long threads! It was my musings really about whether reading back on your own previous thoughts might help you. Re-reading my own threads helps me. Maybe I am more self-absorbed than you doing that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2121132 Sat, 16 May 2020 21:39:45 +0000 delurked 2121132@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa - I relate plenty to many things you post. It’s not necessary to keep your musings to yourself. We are just trying to help you get to a place where you will be happier with your results. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2121129 Sat, 16 May 2020 21:27:34 +0000 slim cat 2121129@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Keep writing and posting - not everyone have already figured out all the style/wardrobe directions in life. Things change and so do we ( in some way ). The emotional stories, wishful thinking, lifestyle changes, occasional venting, bright ideas &nbsp;- that's all important part of the great forum YLF. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2121125 Sat, 16 May 2020 21:12:38 +0000 DonnaF 2121125@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No, Lisa, you do not need to keep your thoughts/musings to yourself! Look, you provoked a three page thread and quite a bit of self-reflection among YLF. But please, don’t beat yourself up so much. Bruises, whether black, blue or yellow, IMHO will never look stylish. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2121119 Sat, 16 May 2020 20:46:22 +0000 Anonymous 2121119@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jenni and delurked : touché ! Yes , my ideas and wishes for my wardrobe never come about . I am indeed all over the place , and usually buying new clothes is something I do to assuage boredom , frustration or loneliness . I end up with a bunch of crap doesn’t meet my standards , and the cycle starts again . I need to keep my musings about it to myself </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2121107 Sat, 16 May 2020 19:56:16 +0000 delurked 2121107@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Haven’t read all the replies, but have a couple thoughts. Often how we imagine our life through our clothing does not match our lifestyle or our body type. Finding common ground would make more sense, and it’s something I’ve had to make peace with as well. I can appreciate something on others without needing to wear it myself if it doesn’t work for me. </p> <p>Like Jenni said above, it does seem like your wishes for your wardrobe do not always seem consistent. Perhaps mentally honing that process further will make your future purchases more satisfying. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2120850 Fri, 15 May 2020 21:04:06 +0000 Jenni NZ 2120850@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa your threads always seem to get everyone thinking hard! They are often the longest on the forum at any given time. It’s great.<br /> I wondered if you ever go back and read your old threads? Because I do notice that you seem to change your mind quite a lot over time about what you are aiming for? You did say you wanted a “reset” this year and I wondered if that was still true, and whether a low-buy year was still in contention? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2120849 Fri, 15 May 2020 20:50:39 +0000 Barbara Diane 2120849@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Do I own the clothes I really like and want?<br /> I’ve always wanted a certain look-think Stacy from What Not to Wear-and to be comfortable also. And I have a second more creative out there persona lurking inside me also. I think I have elements of these within my body limitations. But I want more interesting little details in my support pieces-interesting enough that I would consider them special on their own. I love some of my items and most of the others I’d give a B to. But that B is a bit generous because of the next question.</p> <p>Can I find them easily at retail? Nooo!<br /> 1. Most stores in my county do not carry my size. Even most of the major department stores in the big city near me don’t carry my size. Let alone any cute boutiques. And if I do find a specialty boutique it is for someone my size with a different shape and that style makes me look 50 pounds heavier.<br /> Anytime I see anything I really like, something really special (like in an Angie post), it is at least $250, for a blouse or a pair of pants.<br /> There is one Talbots outlet store in my county where I find serviceable clothing that fits me. Occasionally I really like something.<br /> I settle a lot. I want black summer lightweight crops/pants but in the past I could only find navy (and a lot of the tops also incorporate navy) so most of my summer clothing is navy based. I can try on everything I could imagine wearing in a store and not find one item.<br /> I have hard to fit feet and can walk out of Nordstrom with nothing over an entire year or two. So I duplicate, duplicate, duplicate when I find anything.</p> <p>The good news is that I look much better than before I started caring again. I used to feel like I looked below the norm and now I feel like I rarely look out of place. I also am happy that I have enough looks to cover most situations. But there is another level I aspire to. As someone wrote about, there is one woman in a group of friends who has this easy self confidence I aspire to.</p> <p>Do I project what I want to? Interesting question. I would say I am somewhat close, maybe a B or B+ If I ‘m being generous with myself, if I adjust for this body, age, comfort, what’s available, what I can afford, and my stage of life. WHEN I put the effort into the whole package, Hair, makeup, accessories.<br /> Hair styling and finding attractive eyeglasses that fit are my biggest hurdles.</p> <p>OMG, I went on and on. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2120835 Fri, 15 May 2020 20:03:09 +0000 Barbara Diane 2120835@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am both in a no shopping unless it is a few specific hard to find items which, honestly, I haven’t spent much time looking for lately, a desire to spend some time in my closet making outfits but not enough desire so far to do it, and a realization that some of my items don’t work as well as I thought. I would love to have them replaced by the magical clothing fairy who replaces them with the perfect item-all I’d have to do would be to open my closet doors.</p> <p>On top of that Zoom calls are pointing out a few things that don’t work so well.</p> <p>OTOH I have clothes I love that are sooo unfashionable, or that I rarely wear outdoors except for a walk on an exceptionally hot day because they don’t have sleeves, that I am enjoying wearing during SIP. Only DH sees me and he is -cough cough- not at all fashionable.</p> <p>I’m going to look at your questions again and come back. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2120677 Fri, 15 May 2020 03:38:39 +0000 Anonymous 2120677@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa, I just took time out to read all the responses. I came to this site a few years ago needing to build a whole new wardrobe from scratch due to a big weight loss. I wanted a wardrobe that would last and not go out of style. I think it is possible, especially with neutrals, but found out that I enjoyed the fun of the ever evolving wardrobe. Study the colors that Eileen Fisher and some others use. They look expensive and sophisticated and can easily be paired with neutrals for an interesting look. I recently bought some EF pants in Nile green because they were 1. on deep discount, 2. a color that I liked. 3. could be worn comfortably with my glucose meter and in all seasons, 4. would look fab with neutrals like, black, white, greys, or metallics. It is a way to wear color without having to veer too far from neutrals.<br /> I like busy colorful outfits but need to intersperse neutral outfits fairly often.<br /> Maybe that is an idea you can use. I will never forget meeting a female executive with an international company who wore a crocheted top and skirt in whites that did not match. At first I was shocked, but the outfit was more interesting because of the mismatched pieces. It grew on me. I would have worn something with both whites to pull it together but she did not. It was a huge lesson in expanding fashion in my mind. Do what feels right to you and don’t think of what others will think. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2120658 Fri, 15 May 2020 02:42:21 +0000 Sal 2120658@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This has been such an interesting thread and I have learnt alot from it...&nbsp; About my own attitude to clothing and style especially.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>It reminds me a bit of when I lived in a shared house and even shared bedroom in London.&nbsp; My room mate was a gorgeous stylish beautifully groomed person whom I knew a small amount before I moved in.&nbsp; I was nervous and intimidated because she looked immaculate.&nbsp; Well - she was kind and fun and we became friends and laughed and laughed - but the immaculate part was an illusion.&nbsp; She was one of the most relaxed people I have come across about things like dirty clothes or dirty dishes or changing bed sheets.&nbsp; She left the house looking chic and elegant and untouchable but it was definitely a facade.&nbsp; And it has stuck with me..... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2120636 Fri, 15 May 2020 00:51:04 +0000 Brooklyn 2120636@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with RC, NM and Vildy that the people we care about/respect can be our harshest critics.</p> <p>I do think you associate minimalism with being cool and organised and perfect, like ST says. But if it’s not your style it can feel a little unadventurous and dull (which is not intended as a criticism of those who love minimalism). You should wear what makes you happy and not try to second guess how others perceive it. Maybe you do have to try to accommodate both moods in your wardrobe. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2120604 Thu, 14 May 2020 20:34:42 +0000 Carla 2120604@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Family relationships and self esteem could be a whole (off topic) thread! &nbsp;Even now, the first thing out of my mother’s mouth whenever she see’s me, or a picture of me, is a comment on my appearance. &nbsp;Usually critical.&nbsp;<div><br /></div><div>Although I am a (reasonably) mature woman, the first thing that pop’s into my mind is: “You’re not the boss of me!” &nbsp;</div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2120553 Thu, 14 May 2020 16:42:22 +0000 Vildy 2120553@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>We probably need a separate thread - have there been copious before? - on how to best exorcise the discordant opinions in our heads. :</p> <p>I once read something interesting about how we might form the opinions we have about ourselves.&nbsp; Simple exercise of listing things you "know" about yourself - opinions you now hold.&nbsp; Examples might be: I'm a good driver. Good dancer. Clumsy. Selfish. Generous....</p> <p>And then try to list beside each the person in your youth who was something of an authority for you, who you remembered said this.&nbsp;<br />Parent, grandparent, aunt, teacher, coach, big brother, popular sister<br />older schoolmate..</p> <p>Gives you a big picture and you can aim to refute outdated or mistaken impressions of you.&nbsp;</p> <p>Another thing I've found is that often people who are directly critical to you aren't even really talking to you.&nbsp; They may be talking to a younger version of themselves or to someone in their lives who won't listen to them.&nbsp; I remember being at a luncheon next to a woman I didn't know and she started lecturing me about not dropping out of college.&nbsp; She was vociferous. Nobody around us had been talking about education. It was puzzling. Then at last it came out that her own daughter had dropped out of college.&nbsp; I was maybe 30, looked much younger and had graduated from college.&nbsp; She didn't "hear" me say that.&nbsp; So I realize that for a lot of people we are something like a blank slate or crystal ball they can peer into and see some reflection of themselves.&nbsp; Has nothing to do with us, no matter how personal someone makes it sound.&nbsp;</p> <p>And then there is something like a coaching style.&nbsp; Different coaches uses different tactics.&nbsp; Not always pleasant.&nbsp; Moms may feel responsible for shaping us up into the kind of woman they imagine may be most successful in life, as they gauge it.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2120551 Thu, 14 May 2020 16:33:48 +0000 unfrumped 2120551@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very interesting questions especially as I am in a "new phase" of life now and also since everyone is in a "new reality" that makes wardrobing difficult (both more and less relevant, harder to try out/try on, harder to plan.</p> <p>From a past workwear perspective, I often had trouble getting the pieces at the same TIME. I would find pants but not the jacket I thought would go best. I almost never could walk out of a shop with an entire coordiinated outfit (or even on-line), so mix and match might be more mix-y than matchy than I liked. I am very picky about proportions and would be dissatisfied with how the top and bottoms and topper and even the shoes all worked, so I had more total items in order wear THIS with THAT. So much for "system dressing", I did not feel I&nbsp; had&nbsp; that for work.</p> <p>It becomes more apparent with travel. Harder to pack light if my colors and proportions don't wprk. Or shows what really does work and what is fluff that I ought to get rid of. So in the current days of almost no travel, I am stilll trying to keep in mind that more of my clothing ought to fit together in a suitcase and really work.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2120547 Thu, 14 May 2020 16:15:13 +0000 Zaeobi 2120547@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b> @Lisa P </b> I can sympathise &amp; relate, because part of being comfortable in your skin is accepting <i> all </i> parts of you. That includes the ones you don't think 'should' be there, like your love for colour &amp; pattern (says the one who wore a Kelly green polka dot dress today, haha). None of the parts of you are 'wrong', since they all come together to make the unique human being that is YOU. </p> <p>Possible solutions:<br /> 1) Have you considered making two capsule wardrobes - one for when you're feeling all minimalist, &amp; the other for the days you're feeling colour?<br /> 2) If you want to work the two looks into one outfit, try applying other restrictions to just one aspect of your wardrobe. For example, I only ever wear prints in my tops or scarves - because all of my outerwear &amp; bottoms are solid colours, I can either pair them with a similarly neutral top for a more minimalist look, add a printed scarf to the neutral top for just a little oomph, or dial it up a notch with a printed top instead (for a larger swathe of pattern). </p> <p>This doesn't mean that all of my bottoms are neutrals (far from it), but that steadfastly keeping just <b>one</b> aspect of my closet in check (re: prints), actually ends up giving me <i>more</i> freedom to break the rules as little or as much as I like with everything else. Sounds counterintuitive but it puts you a lot more in control of your narrative in the end. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2120539 Thu, 14 May 2020 15:50:38 +0000 nemosmom 2120539@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> <div>Oh, Lisa, I so identify with you on this: <i>The damage done seems to<br /> be hard to let go of, and I know it holds me back from being comfortable<br /> in my own skin .</i></div><div><br /></div><div>I remember my mom (of Greek heritage, who always had a gorgeous tan - it was the 80s) laughing (yes, literally) at my "cankles" and pasty white legs, and calling me "thunder thighs" when I would wear shorts. I was younger than 12.&nbsp; To this day I STILL hear her voice in my head anytime my legs are exposed. The self-consciousness that creates can last decades, I know.&nbsp; </div><div><br /></div><div>It doesn't help with your dilemma, I just wanted to send a virtual hug and let you know that you are so not alone.<br /></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-the-way-you-really-want-to/page/3#post-2120538 Thu, 14 May 2020 15:49:51 +0000 Helena 2120538@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa, just want to add - you are also allowed to love both styles! And I totally relate to your latter comment too. I grew up with the message (unintentionally, but still) that [insert random friend/neighbour/family member] was always doing it better than me and/or my family. It's a hard mental habit to break. x </p>