YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Do you dress for an audience?

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Do you dress for an audience? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 17 Apr 2026 16:58:12 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php DonnaF on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401690 Mon, 24 Nov 2014 01:32:50 +0000 DonnaF 1401690@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ When I meet with clients or go to my contract gig where I don't see clients, I probably dress 80% for me and 20% for them, meaning I tone it down a bit, wear dressier shoes, and/or skew a bit more conservative to meet their expectations of how an attorney should dress.  When I was younger (no, make that young!) I would dress more conservatively and classically so as not to look too young.  Well, that ship has sailed.  Now, at age 61 I don't want to look frumpy schlumpy.  Since joining YLF, at church and in my women's group, I've received countless comments from numerous people about how stylish I've become.  Gulp.  So now I feel like I can't throw on any old thing as long as it's clean.  I've gotta rep to maintain!  But I do dress exactly as I want. If I'm not going out, my clothing choices don't change much except for footwear. It's mostly the makeup that's minimal or nonexistent when I stay home. thimblelina on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401616 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 22:33:36 +0000 thimblelina 1401616@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ That is interesting gaylene! One thing I skipped is how joyful & tribal sharing clothing cues can be. My special ed transition adults occasionally reach out & literally feel my boots, or my earrings, or a sweater if it catches their fancy & we've shared nonverbal 'conversations' around these touchstones. Gaylene on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401565 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 20:44:12 +0000 Gaylene 1401565@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Interesting note about whether or not others really pay attention to what you are wearing. There is lots of research to back up the idea that people don't really notice what others look like UNLESS (1) something strikes them as novel or unusual, (2) they are seeking information, confirmation, and/or validation in that area, or (3) (actually the biggest one for most people) they don't like something. Negative judgements and evaluations are far more common than positive ones when it comes to judgements based largely on surface cues. The other interesting tidbit from research is that most of us form these quick judgements after a very preliminary assessment of obvious traits (again appearance and dress are big ones) AND, even more interesting, are likely to look for confirmation of our spot judgements instead of refutation during further interaction and observations. Negative judgements are more "sticky" than positive ones. As for students commenting about their teachers, the harshest judgements and comments are more likely to come from parents. Students get to know their instructors because of time spent together so preliminary impressions can change over time, much the same as with colleagues in a work environment. Parents, and others who have only a quick or infrequent contact, are more likely to act on limited information. A kindergarten teacher with multiple facial piercings and body art who likes show off her well-toned body in black leather "rock chic" pants is much more likely to face more obstacles with parents than with the pre-schoolers in her class--and, if she was 50+, it would get even more interesting. Public jobs often require public personas and dress is one of the important ways to establish credentials and character in the eyes of the average person. unfrumped on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401558 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 20:28:01 +0000 unfrumped 1401558@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think both. I'm aware of the community (spirit, appropriateness, communality of events, like parties or weddings). And a bit of audience for, see my fun outfit. But some things that IK and Shevia said really resonate--that since I don't really know a lot of the time, I might either misunderstand or be "misunderstood".  The irony of that is so interesting that it really does make you come full circle to dressing for yourself. rabbit on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401549 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 20:07:00 +0000 rabbit 1401549@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm nodding my head at a lot of what Suz says, that audience or perceived audience can help creativity and execution.   It ups your game whether you are dressing or writing or crafting.     Like someone else mentioned, I see 'fashion' dressing as a form of play.   So while audience matters, some audience matters more than others to me out and about in daily life, primarily those who are interested in this form of play as well, who see humor and fun in it rather than srs bizness.  So I do things like theme dress -- wear outfits loosely inspired by the movie I'm going to see (Victorian tights for Grand Budapest Hotel, leather and wool for Mockingjay).  I think about audience in a more serious way for more serious settings and interactions, and keep my overall goal for the outcome in mind while planning outfits in these cases.  I think more about dressing for physical safety when taking the bus at night for instance, than for going out to drinks with my husband. Also I understand the teacher under the spotlight thing, been there, done that and it definitely can help with developing both dressing as armor strategies and a thick skin where you let a lot of what the peanut gallery thinks just roll off you. But I have trouble with the idea of 'general' audience as something that I consciously consider and try to please with dress.  Partly it's that every form of creativity that is publicly exhibited has fans and has detractors, people who don't get it, don't value it, or find it threatening.  From personal experience I've found for myself that this is often quite unpredictable, and the same piece that collectors or a gallery might love, might get me hate mail.  In that case which audience do I consider?  Whose opinion do I value and whose do I ignore?  I have to ultimately go with my gut and from a place of courage rather than fear. Sal on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401542 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 19:50:31 +0000 Sal 1401542@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Fascinating thread! For me how I dress is on a continuum. I have a difficult school meeting this afternoon where I will likely be delivering bad news. I will dress in something tidy but not too dressy or noticeable. Our school has a wide spectrum of cultures and children so for school events I am cautious around modesty issues. I also would not want to look too wealthy because there are some struggling families. On the other hand I am the Chair of the Board so I need to look smart and competent and confident. I have worked out a few outfits that seem to work for these occasions and repeat them often. If I am going out with friends, especially in a bigger city, I like to dress in a more fashion forward way, almost to say " I live in a small city, and I am still fashionable and interesting". I am not sure if this is something to be proud of, but I do it! And if meeting a friend who shares an interest in clothing I will wear something fun as I know she will notice and appreciate it. In between these times I mostly dress for me. I wear clothes that I like and one day I will wear gear all day and the next I will wear a dress and heels, just because. As to how much people notice, I think it varies hugely. Some observers would notice a new ring or pair of glasses or suit, others would vaguely think the person looked okay or slightly different. I myself can be slow to pick up on changes such as new glasses, I do notice a new hair do though! Sharon on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401537 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 19:45:31 +0000 Sharon 1401537@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmm, I am usually the most dressed-up person amongst my friends, so I feel like I dress primarily to make myself feel good. However, I definitely consider my audience. If I am not going to work, I will wear clothes that show more skin or are a bit trendier than if I am working. rachylou on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401518 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 19:09:16 +0000 rachylou 1401518@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have returned to say, *No, I lied.* I always think about audience. Don't know what I was thinking. I work hard tho to walk the line shedev on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401511 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 18:49:24 +0000 shedev 1401511@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I dress primarily for fun. At work, I dress for comfort. My work went from a uniform to a dress code. Since we really never see our managers, most of us don't pay a lot of attention to it. If I were dressing to fit in with my co-workers, I'd be wearing leggings (the really thin kind) and promotional type tees or worn out tops. I keep 1 old tee and one old sweatshirt for hair dying,  but I don't have space to store a lot of junk. I normally wear a tee or long sleeve thin shirt and a knit topper. I need to be able to shed layers. If I were dressing for the forum, I'd probably skew more modern classic. I'm not seeking more polish, and I sit out more trends than I embrace. I was trying to find my versions of most things, but current trends are moving much further away from things I actually want to wear. I really do enjoy seeing how others adopt trends though and embrace their style even when its very different from mine. I post WIWs because I feel it is the easiest way that we get to know each other. There are occasions where I would dress for my audience, like a job interview. My nephew is getting married next month. I haven't met his fiancé or her family. I am aware that my normal attire may not be seen as wedding appropriate. My nephew has 1 son who does not live with him. He is now expecting twins and his fiancé has 3 children. It's going to be a huge change for him. I think of dressing for others vs dressing for ourselves as a spectrum where some of us are at the ends and some fall in the middle. I feel a little like IK, and something Greyscale posted recently. If you like what I wear, good. If you don't, that's fine too. Anonymous on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401508 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 18:39:44 +0000 Anonymous 1401508@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Not sure I'm adding much to this very interesting thread, but here are a few disjointed thoughts: 1. I absolutely dress for an audience in the sense that it would never occur to me to wear anything other than loungewear to sit at home all day or to get dressed beyond basic bounds of leaving-the-house decency if I'm just running to the grocery store, but I put more care into things when I'm actually interacting with people. Like others, I also consider an audience in that I always want to look situation-appropriate and wear things that won't be jarringly out of whack with others' expectations. I'm also on Team Frantically Clean Up When Guests Are Coming, FWIW. 2. I'm with Thimbelina in assuming that people do notice what I'm wearing, but as a "hazy overall impression," to copy her phrase, rather than parsing and judging fine details. Or maybe that's just because that's what I usually do, so I assume it's universal. Otherwise, trying to get dressed with the assumption that everyone's judging me based on fine points of my outfit that I don't even notice would drive me crazy! 3. Imagining an "audience" at a more abstract level actually plays into how I figure out whether clothes are authentically me or not. At some level, I think I'm always imagining a fictional version of myself, then asking myself whether some hypothetical reader/viewer would think my clothes (or whatever else) feel right for the character. Maybe that's partly why I don't have the problem with wearing loungewear that others do. I'm just so self-evidently the kind of person who'd be in cute graphic tees and cozy sweatpants whenever I'm hanging around the house. Getting dressed in "real" clothes to stay home would feel inauthentic for me! 4. I can't believe that the teachers here get so many rude comments from students about their appearances/wardrobe. Just seems so obnoxious. Anonymous on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401500 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 18:35:06 +0000 Anonymous 1401500@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've had it drilled into my head since childhood that I need to sell myself in pretty much everything I do.  I think my mother was hyper critical or hyper aware of who wore what and who looked like what .  In my giftware and home furnishings  business, it's pretty important to sell myself first before I sell anything else, and I feel it's critical to look the part of someone who knows the product and "gets" the concept of trends, aesthetics and quality.  For my publishing/sales rep business, it's a different story.  I dress less fashion-y for those meetings.  But still, my clothes are both my armour and how I present myself for "your" approval.  This isn't wonderful, and it certainly goes beyond selling oneself in the work place, but it is how I function.  I struggle to lessen the affect others' perceived impression has on me.  For me, how I dress is very much a reflection of my self-esteem  and I am the first to admit that personal failing or weakness. Desmo April on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401498 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 18:28:33 +0000 Desmo April 1401498@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm lucky in the sense that I've never really had a lot of restrictions on what I wear. At my last job the dress code was "keep it clean and unoffensive". That allowed my to focus on what I want to say about myself with a huge amount of freedom. While I'll claim dressing for myself is a priority and I absolutely want to feel authentically myself. I wouldn't wear the same thing to go see a band that I would out for afternoon coffee so audience matters as well. Sometimes I think I dress for the audience in my head. Anonymous on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401486 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 17:55:50 +0000 Anonymous 1401486@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I feel better when dressed nicely, so I do dress for myself. I also dress for others--my DH, my office, etc. To me, it's important to dress appropriately for each occasion, and I do care how I look and how others perceive me. rachylou on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401476 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 17:24:35 +0000 rachylou 1401476@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I dress for myself pretty much. I think I can say this because I put a coat over everything, so no one sees my clothes. When it's really cold (by my definition), I have to confess all style bets are off. I wear the first beanie I can find, my puffer, and the nearest pair of fuzzy booties -  fake Uggs / slipper booties. I look like a crazy person living in a box under the overpass. Thistle on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401457 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 16:42:47 +0000 Thistle 1401457@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Well, as my audience is primarily a 3 year old and a newborn, that might explain the yoga pants and tee shirt. Feeling very dressed up today with DH home and wearing boot cut jeans and a tee! Marilyn on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401443 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 15:38:58 +0000 Marilyn 1401443@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think I mainly dress for myself.  I wear things that make me feel happy and and that are a reflection of who I am.  I agree with Suz in that people are going to perceive you in different ways and perhaps not in the way you think.  I'm home during the day and even if I'm not going out I always pull myself together, wear makeup, etc. I turn it up a notch if I'm going out.  It makes me feel better about myself. I think some people suffer from this..... texstyle on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401441 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 15:33:28 +0000 texstyle 1401441@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think I dress first for myself and then with others in mind if I'm going to be "on" such as in front of employees, clients, and other business colleagues. Since I work at home much of the time like others, I don't *have* to dress a certain way, but I really just don't like wearing lounge wear in the day unless I don't feel well. It reminds me too much of being sick as a kid or of those mom's who wore their housecoats or mumus all day back in the 70's. At this point in life I'm not sure that anything in my closet would be inappropriate for most audiences so I don't really think about it that much -- unless it's for a formal event, in which case I'm usually out of my typical comfort zone. jackiec on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401439 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 15:29:20 +0000 jackiec 1401439@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm not really adding much to the the conversation here, except that I am enjoying reading all of the responses! I agree with Suz in that if there is a specific audience, then I up my game. I dress for myself, but sure, if I'm not going to be out of the house then it's usually my "B" list clothes - ie comfy but i'm not scared to spill a little bleach on 'em. But nothing ruins my day more than looking in the mirror and feeling frumpy, so I at least try to put something decent together at home. More and more I'm dressing for "me" in that I'm learning what works for me, and more importantly what doesn't work for me. If I'm wearing my best "me" then of course I'm more comfortable around my "audience," and therefore, I'm a happier person. Suz on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience/page/2#post-1401437 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 15:17:44 +0000 Suz 1401437@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ah, yes, Dana -- I like that formulation much better -- it isn't AUDIENCE so much as COMMUNITY that I am craving with my writing -- or my fashion experiments. A bunch of people who on some level, "get it."   I guess that's why I'm most interested in opinions from those two segments of audience -- the ones doing it as well (i.e. community) and the "appreciators" -- i.e. folks who just enjoy, take in, pay attention.  ironkurtin on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience#post-1401433 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 15:03:37 +0000 ironkurtin 1401433@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Chiming back in! I don't post here because I need an audience. I post here because I was looking for a community. I suppose audience is part of community, but to me it's less about me performing and more about a fellowship of interests. Also, I have written and published so much commercially I seriously now write my fiction only for myself. If I ask other people to read it, it's to get feedback to improve my craft. Sure, compliments are nice, but I'm looking less for those than for ways to improve. And, from being published and looking for critique and criticiquing others, I can say definitely that people are often incorrect or facile in their interpretations of what they read. I am quite sure it's the same with visual impressions as well. I'm not disparaging this, simply acknowledging it as a factor, much as those impressions often change from men to women. So yes, we may "dress for others" because yes, we live in a world WITH others, but at base level I myself must be comfortable with what I think I am saying, as well as not itchy and able to breathe, so first I dress for me. gryffin on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience#post-1401431 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 14:55:12 +0000 gryffin 1401431@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Definitely.  I think Gaylene expressed a lot of what I feel.  It's more the stage analogy - I am both the player in my own drama, my own audience, working in front of the larger audience of home, work and community - I hold these forces in balance.  I do have a personal uniform and a signature look.   I make thoughtful clothing choices, which I am trying to hone for a minimalist, functional and cohesive wardrobe,  that make me feel good but they are filtered though my audience: myself, my husband and son. and then the larger societal audience I will see.  Whether people consciously notice what I wear (and sometimes they do and comment - but I've been fortunate most of that comments have been extremely positive - perhaps I just have a politer audience!!) versus making a subliminal impression - hey we are visual creatures, I think we always make a statement - intentional or unintentional.  I do agree with IK - we can't predict how people will interpret our "message" but I personally do try and balance inner happiness, my mia (most important audience - darling husband and wonderful son) and wider audience work and community.  I want to feel elegant, authentic and appropriate.  As thimbelina said, clothes are my "firewall" too.  My armour - I want to appear my best self so I can go forth and have the confidence to do what I must.  I want to feel so good about how I present myself that I no longer notice or think about my outfit, hair, make up etc - the goal is that all of that effort goes away and I can concentrate on just being me and being my best me at work, at home and in life. Suz on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience#post-1401400 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 13:53:28 +0000 Suz 1401400@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Aziriphale wins this month's YLF prize for richest threads! :)  I actually wanted to add re the writers and artists thing -- there are, admittedly, writers who write and don't care if they publish. I guess those ones would be equivalent to those who dress ONLY for themselves.  And there are others who write ONLY for audience -- they're strongly externally motivated and won't write unless they are published (and paid). Wasn't it Dr. Johnson who said that no man but a blockhead ever wrote for anything but money? (But that may have been a comment on how hard writing is, vs. a comment about a need for audience.) It fascinates me how differently we experience the world! And how personality and character play a significant role in our responses. For instance, like Gaylene and Thimbelina, I have been a teacher and been subject to the stares and comments of a relatively large audience on a daily basis. I agree that this is quite different from most public roles in that the same largish group of people see you every day for a long period of time. Meanwhile, each believes (with some reason) that he or she has a "special" relationship with you (after all, this is part of what teaching is about) and may feel entitled on that basis to comment on your clothes, in a way that we ordinarily don't comment, except maybe about true celebrities.  I got lots of unsolicited comments on my clothes, my hair, my jewellery (or lack of it), my footwear, my specs, my skin and eyes. And most of those comments were not flattering! But they tended to roll off me, somehow...it's only now that Gaylene mentions it that I remember. It's just not an area of major sensitivity for me. Whereas I probably remember every single critical or even mildly unflattering word someone has made about my writing... Yet I still put that out there, too... As I was falling asleep last night, I thought of another parallel to YLF that might explain this.  While I write (and dress) mostly or primarily for myself (and would continue to do so, even without any audience at all) -- I do better with an audience.  Offered a contract, a deadline, a commission -- and an editor I trust and respect -- I produce more and better writing than I used to do back in the days when I scribbled away in my lonely garrett, with no expectation of publication, ever.  Well, I dress better when I'm confident of an audience, too. Maybe that is why I post WIWs. I feel more encouraged, emboldened, supported -- less alone in the project. And that frees me to be more experimental, or more true to my own desires, or...something.  Of course I always have my "at home" audience -- the people I love (whose opinions I value more than anyone else's.) Plus the real life strangers and acquaintances who see my outfits. But those strangers and acquaintances -- why should I really value their opinions? They aren't necessarily educated, thoughtful, contextualized. The YLF audience is a much better informed audience. Along with my loved ones, they're an audience that matters.  It's like this with my writing, too. I value or take seriously the opinions of some parts of my audience more than others.  Whose opinions do I value most? Two types: People who are engaged in a similar project. (I.e. other artists). And regular readers  -- people who simply read the work and feel moved, without necessarily being able to parse out why.  In other words, not self-styled critics, but "fellows" -- if I can use that word in a non-sexist way. Comarades? Companions?  You are all my "fashion companions."  :)  Anonymous on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience#post-1401384 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 12:27:14 +0000 Anonymous 1401384@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This is a wonderful question.  I dress to project an image.  That image changes, depending on the circumstances.  So yes, I definitely dress for an audience.  I love clothes and I work very hard to project the image of a competent, professional woman.   I also try very hard to look good (but comfortable) in my personal life when I am with friends or BF.   BTW, Thimblelina expressed perfectly what I always believed but could never quite communicate.   Astrid on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience#post-1401382 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 12:12:51 +0000 Astrid 1401382@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm definitely dressing with my audience in mind. Sure, I'm also dressing for myself because I like the process of choosing an outfit and I like to feel good about myself and being dressed in a way that resonates with me helps me achive that. But in the end it's definitely important to me to consider which people are going to see me in my outfit and if I'm moving inside the boundaries this audience is setting. Dressing appropriately for the audience is like a security blanket to me. Then I can forget about my clothes and just go about my day. I think there's nothing worse than feeling insecure about the way you're dressed and if I'm being honest I do care what other people think. Not when it comes to any small detail (because you can never please EVERYONE and shouldn't try), but I wouldn't want to stand out like a sore thumb. Neel on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience#post-1401369 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 11:17:41 +0000 Neel 1401369@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmmm ... Like many here ... I do dress for my audience. But .... I don't necessarily try to send an image of myself to the people I meet either. I just want to look put together for others while having fun with fashion for myself. Many mums notice and have said that I always look put together which really makes me feel proud because I have worked hard for this. For people to notice and take me seriously. BUT, do I wonder if they think I dress too young or dress too unconventional or hate me in BFs or love me in skinnies? No I don't (and I doubt anyone notices!). Do I care if I am appropriately dressed for the situation? ..... Yes I do. I don't wear minis or hot pants for school drop offs ... I actually don't wear minis for any casual outing here, just out of respect for the people of the country and their culture. Anonymous on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience#post-1401365 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 10:26:01 +0000 Anonymous 1401365@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'll admit to not reading each reply totally fully, but I just wanted to say that I spend a lot of time on my own at home as I work from home. Some days a few customers come and some days I only do the school run (literally a drive by and I never get out of the car) So, yes I do dress for myself. I never ever were sweats or loungewear on days when I'm totally by myself and feel  good for it, and the psychological boost is great for my well being and state of mind. You say you don't think there's any point when at home as no one sees you .. what about looking good for your loved ones too? thimblelina on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience#post-1401357 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 08:04:22 +0000 thimblelina 1401357@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Gaylene: I do agree about academia. I taught art history & found some students did make very personal comments about my clothing. Usually not my best students, LOL! I also needed a sort of clothing 'firewall' between myself and my students who were not that different in terms of age. That's not a problem any more! Clothing is very much a visual language of signifiers about class, culture, education and affluence but most Americans get very uncomfortable when you take this discussion in that direction, insisting that's not at all what they're trying to 'say' with their clothes. thimblelina on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience#post-1401353 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 07:52:54 +0000 thimblelina 1401353@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ First, insofar as we're not showing up to our day naked as apes yes, we're wearing clothes with a societal audience in mind. But I think what we're broadcasting to this so-called audience is much more terse morse code than proustian treatise on our 'inner' self. I like to look 'put together' without looking like I tried all that hard. I like for my clothing to look current but I hate for it to look new. In my work (subbing) it is helpful to inspire confidence based upon a first impression and be recollected for callbacks as possessing an unfussy yet professional demeanor. In my life, it has warmed the very cockles of my heart the be dubbed 'the mother with the EXCELLENT shoes' by my daughters track teammates. But I do agree we all tend to myopically inflate the details and fail to realize that other people just don't notice much beyond a sort of hazy overall impression. So the idea of dressing to please oneself is surprisingly helpful after all, because the person who shows up dressed in a way that allows them to be comfortable in their own skin, genuinely interested in others, and open to new shared experiences really is the one dressed for 'success.' Gaylene on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience#post-1401341 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 07:08:36 +0000 Gaylene 1401341@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Dressing for an audience is so in-grained that I can't imagine thinking of clothing and outfits in any other way. Yes, I do wear what I want, but I'm also quite conscious of how to tweak and manipulate my clothing to create the image I want to project. Getting dressed every morning knowing what you are wearing will be critically examined by a couple of hundred people during the day does that to a person. I've had students tell me exactly how many times I've worn a particular skirt in the last month, that red is a better color on me than green, and that I ought to wear a black belt with that jacket instead of a brown one. Lots of free fashion advice, sometimes delivered nicely and sometimes not--and people on the forum wonder why I don't post WIW pics. Spending lots of time under this kind scrutiny has also taught me that what I wear could have a dramatic influence on how students and colleagues reacted to me and my message. As a young female prof during the 80s wearing a skirt and sweater meant older male colleagues assumed I would take notes during meetings and clean up coffee cups--in short, I was treated like an assistant instead of a colleague. Skirts and sweaters were quickly banished from my wardrobe. Students were less likely to argue about their grades if I wore a suit and heels than if I wore jeans and a T-shirt. Even during presentations I would manipulate my outfits by removing my suit jacket and pushing up the sleeves of my top when I wanted to encourage a discussion or take questions from the floor. It surprises me that so many people think that others are oblivious to the messages we sent through our clothing. The assumptions others may make about us might be wrong, but those assumptions and judgements still exert a powerful effect on the impressions we create and on our interactions with others. Adelfa on "Do you dress for an audience?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-dress-for-an-audience#post-1401329 Sun, 23 Nov 2014 06:17:15 +0000 Adelfa 1401329@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh also, what I wear is very much noticed. People comment all the time, even thought I feel my style is rather restrained!