https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 25 Apr 2026 13:08:03 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you/page/2#post-480182 Sat, 03 Dec 2011 16:51:20 +0000 MsMary 480182@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Same here, Aida and Una. A couple of friends came to my office to have lunch with me this week, and they were both wearing mom jeans and hoodies and sneakers, while I was all dolled up as usual in my work clothes. And yeah, I noticed and was irked at them for not making an effort, and irked at myself for being irked.</p> <p>It's all more complicated than you might think, isn't it? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you/page/2#post-479601 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 20:14:02 +0000 cciele 479601@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ditto what Una said. I'm also a "live and let live" kind of person, but it annoys me when I start judging how other people are dressing--since I don't like it when I get singled out because of the way I dress. Although there's a line between a genuine compliment and a "wow you pay more attention to your clothes than I do" kind of comment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you/page/2#post-479193 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 05:51:29 +0000 anne 479193@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maybe a bit, but then I was a girl who wore a blazer and felt hat at times to school (when I could have worn jeans)</p> <p>I think I'd only mind if I was the only one - and in my town there is always a great range in dressing, so there will be someone dressed nicely. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you/page/2#post-479169 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 04:55:23 +0000 Gracey at Fashion for Giants 479169@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I know it shouldn't, but it does take some of the fun out of things for me as well. I love dressing up and will whether others are or not, but it's always more fun when we all do it because I like seeing what others wear as much as I like choosing what I'm going to wear. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you/page/2#post-479137 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 04:13:00 +0000 Queen Mum 479137@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I"m so glad to have all of you to commiserate with me.</p> <p>Kimlee... that is the exact same conversation I have in front of my closet when these situations arise.</p> <p>Crystal~ while he has gotten better, I have often heard from my hubby upon seeing me get ready to go out... "Oh, I guess this means I have to dress up?" argh! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you/page/2#post-479103 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 03:31:23 +0000 annagybe 479103@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was fuming when I went to Porgy and Bess in August. Admittedly it started very early (not quite a matinee) and it was a warm day but there was a couple where the man was wearing cargo shorts and the woman was wearing brown capris. I was wearing this. It was opening night too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you/page/2#post-479098 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 03:25:32 +0000 D'Ellen 479098@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>In a word, yes! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you/page/2#post-479078 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 03:06:16 +0000 Crystal 479078@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I thought I was the only one. I live in a rural area, so most people around me tend to dress in tees or sweaters and jeans or even yoga pants.... gasp! I enjoy getting dressed up and putting thought into my outfits, but sometimes I feel like those around me think I'm trying too hard. </p> <p>My husband constantly comments on my attire when we go out. "We're just going to a Stag &amp; Doe you know?" I know he just doesn't get it, but sometimes it bothers me 'cause I feel like he should be proud to have a wife who takes time to look good.</p> <p>I've always thought it would be wonderful to go to New York for New Years just so I have an excuse to really glam and sparkle it up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you/page/2#post-478793 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:46:59 +0000 Marley 478793@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes - it can be kind of deflating for me if I'm really honest about it. I love dressing up for special occassions - so when others show up NOT dressed up, then I feel like it takes away from the "specialness" of the event. Like they don't value it as much as I do - but, I know that is probably a wrong assumption on my part.</p> <p>As far as everyday dress goes, it doesn't really bother me if others aren't dressed up as much, or obviously haven't put any thought into what they are wearing, etc. . - its just those special occassions that I am disappointed about! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you/page/2#post-478760 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:04:24 +0000 Mamapicklejuice 478760@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, it does. If I'm going out with a group of friends, I'd rather look like I belong, not like I'm trying too hard. I can still look fab in a casual way. But I don't want to be in a pencil skirt and bf jacket if everyone else is in jeans. I now make a point of telling/asking my mom friends if they want to get gussied up for a night out or if we're just going casual (both fine)...because sharing the excitement of dressing up for ourselves and others is fun! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you/page/2#post-478683 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 19:09:48 +0000 catgirl 478683@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There are times when it bothers me, but it also bothers me that I notice. My friend who is retired and lives in a very small hippie town leaves her nice clothes in my closet to wear when she comes into "the city"! I'm very live and let live. YLF was like learning to read for me - now that I know certain things I can't go back and un-notice them (like PPL!). Sometimes I wish I could... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you/page/2#post-478628 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:01:21 +0000 HelenInCanada 478628@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It is definitely a little deflating - and I can see it in the eyes of others who are dressed to the nines (like recently on vacation at an awesome resort in Cuba, when they saw other diners arriving in shorts and flip flops - which by the way so broke the dress code.) </p> <p>Where I live, many women seem to love fashion and dress stylishly - whether it's on trend or some unique funky version of it - so I definitely am conscious if I'm dressed down, and it's more encouraging to dress well here. My closest friend often makes me feel closet-envy with her happening wardrobe, so it's a lot of fun to go out with her &amp; get inspiration. I try to keep in mind, though, that she is a completely different size &amp; body type from me (ultra slim), so I know our styles must diverge. Still, I like to admire her style, as I do with so many here on YLF. </p> <p>There have been times when I literally come home from an event where I was so inspired by the personal styles and impeccable fits, etc., that I scoop up every piece of ill-fitting, dowdy, unflattering clothing I own and shove it into the Goodwill bag for drop-off the next morning! Maybe someone else can re-purpose them but I'd never want to see them again. So yes, it can be influential to see others' sense of style &amp; aesthetic. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478591 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 17:12:57 +0000 kimlee 478591@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It did. Imagine if you will, me standing in my walk in closet in just my undergarments, trying to find an outfit that was "dressy...but not too dressy....but not longuewear......but stylish...". I would play this dialgoue over and over in my head, because I knew that the friends/family we were going to see would be casual (and apt to comment on my dressier appearance). My husband finally told me 'Who care if you are dressier....that is just who you are!"</p> <p>Now I have friends and family members asking me for help in glamming up their own wardrobes. And the others have come to expect me to be dressier and rarely comment anymore. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478559 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 16:54:42 +0000 Makrame 478559@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, I am getting a nice visual of a sweater set for a Russian wedding in a Russian restaurant! Although at some point I could have been that person wearing a sweater set for a wedding; I don't own much in terms of "evening" clothes. Trying to remember what I wore when a friend of ours had a party at Rasputin a few years ago... I remember the male part of our group wearing suits but that's about it.</p> <p>I don't feel like people around me are dressed down - may have something to do with a lot of our friends being originally from Russia, actually. So for dinner parties and such, I enjoy seeing nice (even if not expensive or flashy) clothes on most of our friends. Since a lot of the people at work are M.D. who teach and see patients, they tend to dress quite well, too. Overall, I feel like I may be a touch dressier than other people at work but not so much that I feel out of place.</p> <p>When I was in Italy, I was quite happy that I dressed up a bit for a visit with my collaborators - everyone was dressed very well, in a "somewhat casual but elegant way", I would even say "luxe". </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478554 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 16:53:26 +0000 mrseccentric 478554@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>no. i've never dressed like the people around me since i was a kid so by now that's just how it is. Besides, when i'm around friends and family we're doing something - birding, hiking, whatever, and that's more the focus of things rather than clothing per se. Although my husband is a very sharp dresser and oftentimes think i'm way too RATE for his tastes!!</p> <p>I do think it's more fun when everyone dresses up for an actual dress-up event like the Ren Faire, Halloween party, and so on. At those events i'll just pester people and come up with something fun and easy for them to wear to get in the mood, like a hat or scarf. But that's really the only kind of time i'd notice. steph </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478500 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 16:09:50 +0000 ironkurtin 478500@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yeah, I get it - I do have nice things, but I seldom have an event to wear them. Not because I don't get invited to events, but because they're so seldom "dressy"! I think the thing there is to pick the dressy items that make you happy and then mix them into casual. For example, I have some sequin tanks from JCrew. I wear them over shirts all the time! A little bit of shine for me, but it's in a casual shape. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478491 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 16:04:43 +0000 Queen Mum 478491@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IK- I think in a work situation that you are describing, it wouldn't bother me as much to be the only one dressed up because at work, you are all there fairly independently of each other.... as opposed to going out to dinner with friends and you are all there together as a "group." Does that make sense? This is where I struggle more. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478490 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 16:04:06 +0000 Jonesy 478490@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, I do know what you mean, Kim. It can take a bit of the fun out of it, but I don't let it stop me! When I was in Chicago recently, I met old friends for dinner at a very happening restaurant. I was dressed up, and they were in their usual duds (ill-fitting, baggy layers in varying shades of faded gray and navy, sort of like sad worn-out loungewear from 10 years ago). I was prepared for it (that's how they always dress) so it didn't bother me, but I did feel every so slightly overdressed in their company :). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478478 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:58:09 +0000 ironkurtin 478478@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You know, it's funny you posted this. I started my new job and everyone here dresses in tshirts and jeans and sneakers. Except me, I like to rock my fashion -- jackets, sweaters, boots, edgy classics. But today I biked to work and am a bit sportier than I usually am, and I feel kinda inappropriate. Or maybe just "not me." Even though I am TOTALLY not bucking the norm here in any way! (And even though my gear is super high-end, if you cared to look - yohji, stella, and nau, I love you!)</p> <p>I think even with biking to work, I can't default to (nice) jeans, shirts, and sneakers. If I'm not dressed my way, I feel yucky. In regard to a situation where people dressed *better* than I did, I would definitely feel the need to rise to that level - but still with a funkier edge, or again, just not me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478467 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:46:38 +0000 Queen Mum 478467@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>ah, got it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478419 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:09:04 +0000 modgrl 478419@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>QM, Russian people get very very very dressed up for weddings. Like anything you would wear in daytime would be completely inappropriate. So a cream colored sweater set, that is casual even when worn in daytime, is kind of comical in a sea of tight, short, jewel encrusted black dresses, high heels, dark suits and tuxedos. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478403 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:53:09 +0000 Queen Mum 478403@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rita- explain sweater set and Russian wedding please. I'm not getting a good visual. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478400 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:51:18 +0000 Queen Mum 478400@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone in my feelings. I do wish I could just move forward in confidence. I know that my friends have come to expect me to be "dressed up" (by their standards) and never make unkind comments, but I feel silly looking like I'm ready for a cocktail party and everyone else looks like they're ready for a ball game.<br /> Thanks all for chiming in. Gotta go get myself ready for the day.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478396 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:44:43 +0000 modgrl 478396@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Someone on the other side of the family wore a sweater set to my Russian wedding at a Russian Restaurant!! It has been 10 years and my family has still not forgotten! So in short, yes, it does bother me though how much it bothers me varies by occasion. If it is dinner at someone's house, I will show respect for their efforts and the occasion by dressing well; even if the host is not dressed up, it does not take away from my enjoyment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478394 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:43:31 +0000 chewyspaghetti 478394@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes Kim- and I am in the exact same boat with a couple that I love and love to do things with. I try not to let it bother me, or influence how I dress when I am seeing them, but it is a bit of a bummer. On the plus side, I felt perfectly fine telling her to stop by with the kids the other day even though I was still in what I had worn to therapy </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478390 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:38:37 +0000 Mo 478390@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think it affects me. There is a couple we travel with sometimes and have had meals out with them in various cities - New Orleans, San Diego, Phoenix, wherever. They are tees and shorts people through and through. The BF and I like to dress for dinners out. We enjoy our meals together and conversation, and the clothing is just a matter of preference for each side.</p> <p>I have always enjoyed clothes, even in grade school, and some people don't. That's okay. I feel good in an outfit I enjoy whether my companions are dressed down or not. But, it is fun to have a GF get together and see other cute clothes around the table! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478385 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:32:25 +0000 Suz 478385@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've been thinking this over. </p> <p>My first impulse was to say, no, I just do what I do and don't worry about it. </p> <p>But that wouldn't be completely true. Because when I was younger and lived in a large city, even if I didn't have a well-defined personal style, at least I TRIED to dress fashionably and I was much more dressy than I became after a few years of living in the smaller city where I currently live. And I think I may have been subtly influenced, and ultimately, sartorially depressed, by the general slipshod environment and also by my husband's very casual look. </p> <p>Now, there are other reasons I adopted more casual wear. Work related, lifestyle related, and so on. But I do think it just became a lot of work and not as much fun to dress up (or even dress well) because I didn't see well dressed people around me very often. </p> <p>For me, it is less about my close friends, and more about the people I see coming and going on the streets. Maybe it is about inspiration. My sources of inspiration dried up and so I lost the sense of fun. So for my, YLF is a lot about regaining that inspiration. </p> <p>And thank you all for that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478372 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:17:26 +0000 teri 478372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think everyone we hang around with just knows that I'm going to be dressed up no matter the occasion. It's just me.<br /> Many of the husbands will ask me, "Do you ever not wear a dress?"..... lol<br /> and I'm thinking they might like it if their wifes wore dresses more often. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478338 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 13:36:35 +0000 banananutmuffin 478338@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I live in a very rural area, and typical garb around here is jeans and a t-shirt. People even wear their camo to dinner! My posse tends to be casual, too... jeans and tees, maybe sweats. This past summer I saw my best guy pal in the same cotton Orioles shorts for 3 get togethers in a row. lol</p> <p>And it does kind of take the fun out of it when I feel overdressed. Went to an Autumn party and was the only girl in a skirt. Was the only woman in a skirt at my kid's first birthday party, too. Again, the only person in a skirt at Thanksgiving.</p> <p>The only place I don't feel overdressed when I dress up is church.</p> <p>But I figure the more I wear skirts, the more people will see it as commonplace for me. And I do try to dress down my skirts with denim and such. But it's kind of a bummer that I feel like I have to make my outfits more casual, when I want to look more fab. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-others-dressing-down-take-some-of-the-fun-out-of-it-for-you#post-478326 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 13:03:39 +0000 Kristen 478326@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nope! I find that my dressing up, over time, has inspired most of the people I hang out with to try a little bit harder themselves. I don't say anything negative about their more-casual looks, but I just keep showing up in great shoes or a fun jacket, and little by little they start asking me where I got them, etc. And sure enough, the next time I see them they're a little sharper looking too!</p> <p>Of course, there are always still people who stick with their casual looks, but that's usually because that is who they ARE. That *is* their style, and it's a deliberate choice, not a fallback option because they didn't know any better. My SIL, for instance, is a sports nut; she had her wedding photos taken at home plate at Tiger Stadium, for crying out loud. I would be shocked if she stopped wearing sports sweatshirts to everything. She knows how to dress cutely, since she's fantastic at finding outfits for her daughter. But she chooses for herself to wear sports clothes. I respect her for that, because she is choosing it on purpose. </p>