YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Disgusted with myself

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Disgusted with myself https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 27 Apr 2026 02:17:12 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Karie on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself/page/2#post-1223447 Tue, 15 Apr 2014 02:48:20 +0000 Karie 1223447@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Beth, I just saw this - I'm so sorry you were feeling badly about your weight. What I noticed was your beautiful smile, beautiful style, and friendly demeanor. You were a delight to get to know! You are gorgeous at any weight. And for a group of supposed "introverts," I thought we all did well talking and chatting up a storm! I saw no shyness whatsoever :)  pil on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself/page/2#post-1219086 Thu, 10 Apr 2014 01:38:41 +0000 pil 1219086@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Beth, I was apprehensive about my age, size and what to wear to Boston. Those feelings pretty much subsided once I boarded the plane and the meet up was about to happen, realizing those things wouldn't make a difference to the other fabbers. I do still wish I could make myself more outging though - it's hard. If I do say so, we did a fine job bringing up the rear during the trek from The Rack to Club Monaco! I was coveting your jacket and admiring your determination to enjoy the afternoon despite your bad knee. And you have beautiful skin! Janet on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself/page/2#post-1218618 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 19:03:59 +0000 Janet 1218618@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm so glad you were able to join us, Beth! And what a trooper to keep up with all that walking with your leg! It was wonderful meeting you. I am yet another introvert who somehow manages to feel quite comfortable in a big group -- when it's a group of YLF members! I hope to see you again soon.  BethL on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself/page/2#post-1218287 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 13:49:29 +0000 BethL 1218287@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, where to start?! First, thank you so very much, Angie. I loved meeting you, too. What a pleasure it was! Thank you again - from the bottom of my heart - for your kindness and generosity. You are one very special woman! I loved being in Boston. It was a tremendous experience. After my first few initial seconds of shyness (I'm an introvert, too, Viva), I was totally fine. I was having such a good time that I didn't really spend any time thinking badly about myself. You all were so right that I would come away from the experience feeling recharged. I have. Thank you, Suz, Viva, Isabel, Jjsloane, and Janet for being so kind and supportive. It was wonderful to meet you, and I had a ball. I hope we can do it again! Maybe soon with the locals. ;) TraceyLiz65, Alicat, Beth Ann, Adelfa, and Kimberley, thank you all for your words of advice and encouragement. Every bit helped. I read and reread all of the comments Friday night before the meetup, and I must say, I was feeling in a much better place thanks to everyone who responded to my post. Again, thank you all. Angie on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1217626 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 21:26:00 +0000 Angie 1217626@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Beth, I loved meeting you in Boston, and you looked FABULOUS. You have wonderful glowing skin, a twinkle in your eye, and super cute specs. Love the new BF jeans you got at the Rack. Hope your knee feels better soon.  Suz, I never noticed your scabbed face. All I saw was a gorgeous and graceful lady who rocks short hair with the best of them. You inner beauty matches your outer beauty. Jeanne, you were a Preppy Delight of Magpie Fabness. You looked killer gorgeous in your patched jeans and Boden ensemble. And you have the prettiest ginger hair. I love your bubbly persona.  Isabel, you looked and are AMAZING. Your immensely rich warmth and charm  matches your love for rich jewel tones. Honestly, you have never looked better. Your manner exudes style. Viva, Ines de la Fressange wishes she looked like gorgeous you. I love your hair - and that asymmetrical pullover was made for you.  And Janet, you were your usual fun and warm rock 'm roll self. You also looked killer stunning - and as I've said before - your eyes are mesmerizing.  lots of love to you all. xo Isabel on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1217219 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 15:25:32 +0000 Isabel 1217219@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh Beth !  I also just got to reading this.  I am so sorry that you felt so awful before hand.   You were such a treat AND a trooper with your bad knee. I definitely felt something similar to you regarding the weight.  I had a particularly bad "dunlop"....my abdomen...day on Saturday.  But once the birthday cake and the brûlée came out, I was sooooo over it.   :  )  It was fabulous meeting you and you have AWESOME hair, btw.  XXXXXXXXX Suz on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1216886 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 02:40:27 +0000 Suz 1216886@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Beth, it was lovely to meet you in person, and I hope your anxieties vanished in the celebratory spirit.  As for me, I was stressing out about my scabbed up face...but in the fun of the day, managed to forget about it...oh, for at least half an hour at a time.  :) Jjsloane on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1216834 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 01:49:16 +0000 Jjsloane 1216834@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Beth - it was a treat to meet you in Boston. I hope your anxieties were unfounded in the end,. You were a trooper to keep up with all the craziness and brisk pace. So glad you got a great deal on some great jeans. Hope to see you at another get together. I had not read this prior to the meetup. Just so you know you are not alone in most of these issues as these posts show. I would love to have lost 20lbs for the meetup, but it was not in the cards (or my diet plan obviously). But I still had a blast and would not have missed the opportunity for fun. I hope you find what works for you now and are able to relax and enjoy more. BethL on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1214461 Sat, 05 Apr 2014 00:20:34 +0000 BethL 1214461@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm just now getting to the new posts because I spent the day getting my knee attended to and then packing for the meetup. And now I'm in Boston! Yahoo! I'm going to wait until tomorrow to meet everyone, so I can baby my head tonight. I am so looking forward to tomorrow. Thanks for the sweet words, Viva and Janet. Thank you ALL for your kindness and words of comfort and advice. I will respond I individually as soon as I can. xoxo Kimberley on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213973 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 13:25:36 +0000 Kimberley 1213973@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Beth, I am late to this party but you have gotten so much excellent advice here, there's nothing new for me to add.  Just wanted to say to be kind to yourself.  You're doing the best you can and that's enough!  Each day is a new start.  Hugs to you. Janet on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213957 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 12:51:46 +0000 Janet 1213957@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Beth, I'm late to this but Viva is right. I've been fretting over what to wear, whether my hair/skin is behaving, and my however many extra pounds I wish would just melt away, but the truth is that once we all get together in Boston, we'll be too busy having fun to fret! Try to be kind and gentle on yourself. I know how hard depression is, especially in winter, and how frustrating it is to have your activity curtailed by illness or injury. Take it slow. We're here for you! Can't wait to meet you in Boston! viva on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213901 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 10:39:22 +0000 viva 1213901@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Beth, I read your post as I was talking to some friends last night about my own anxiety about the Boston meetup. As excited as I am about it, it does create its own pressure. Meeting all of these women! Wanting to look great! Aargh!!! Please take let's agree to take the pressure off. You know we are all going to love what everyone is wearing, and we are going to have such fun together. I just know you will look wonderful no matter what you are wearing. I too am carrying more around the middle than usual and I cannot wear the pants I had hoped to. It's been a loooong winter. Oh well. It will still be a fantastic day. I am confident you'll tackle the bigger challenge with all the gusto you have, but before that, come and enjoy the support and fun of your YLF friends on Saturday (including me!). Vivian Adelfa on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213813 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 05:11:00 +0000 Adelfa 1213813@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ A few years ago menopause and a major life stressor hit me and I gained quite a few pounds. So far I've only lost a portion of them because everything is different now and what used to work doesn't work anymore. So I definitely feel where you're coming from! I would add that absolutely everyone is nervous about what to wear to a meet-up! Beth Ann on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213789 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 03:49:44 +0000 Beth Ann 1213789@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You've had excellent input already, but I wanted to chime in and say that a YLF meetup is the perfect pick-me-up.  We're  of all ages and body types and nobody is going to like or respect you less at you at size 18 or size 2.  You'll come away with some excellent ideas for looking your best right now.   I find that dressing the body I have builds my confidence and pays off with better self-care in other areas of my life. Kick up your heels and wear what fits you now and pair it with a fab bag and comfy shoes! Anonymous on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213738 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 02:48:04 +0000 Anonymous 1213738@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I just ran across this beautiful <a rel="nofollow" href="http://vimeo.com/90819899">video</a> about being kind to ourselves. Big hugs to you, Beth. TraceyLiz65 on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213706 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 02:08:46 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1213706@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Please remember to be kind to yourself... My Father died when I was just 13 and he always felt he would die young... Due to that he took me for walks and gave me so much invaluable information like always remembering to treat myself as well as I would my best friend...It really has carried me through so much of my life.  I had Vertigo and Sinus issues the entire month of March and gained just a few, could have been more if I hadn't had nauseau..  It is perfectly understandable with all you've had going on... You will get back to what you desire. it is always harder to take it off than it is to put it on... Just the nature of things... hang in there!!!  BethL on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213694 Fri, 04 Apr 2014 01:42:16 +0000 BethL 1213694@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you for the words of encouragement, Laura. I'm sorry you're having similar struggles. Yes, the chronic depression can be a layer on top of or underneath everything else. I'm so happy the winter is finally over; like many people, that's the toughest part of the year for me. I hope you soon start feeling some relief yourself. Laura (rhubarbgirl) on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213607 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 23:42:24 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1213607@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ BethL, I'm so sorry your knee is bothering you and that you've had such a hard winter. I've had chronic health concerns myself this winter and it's really hard to keep doing all the things you should be doing - eating well, getting whatever exercise you can manage - when you don't feel great. "Action is the enemy of shame and guilt." How lovely is that from Suz! I read once that the difference between guilt and shame is that guilt motivates you to change, but shame just makes you feel like crap. Let go of the shame, and let go of the pointless guilt. Everyone's got such great points about avoiding the self-disgust spiral and trying to be more patient and gentle with yourself. I think the point that we're not in as much control over our bodies as we'd like and that culture suggests is also very wise. We all get older, our metabolism changes, and we all have health issues that sometimes make it hard to be physically active. That's not making excuses; that's acknowledging reality. And with chronic depression (something I also know a lot about, unfortunately) it's sometimes a real accomplishment to get out of bed and do the bare minimum to keep going. Other people who are fortunate enough to not have those struggles don't understand that sometimes the basic stuff is all you can manage. BethL on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213581 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 22:57:50 +0000 BethL 1213581@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ rachylou, thank you so very much for the reminder. Wise words that help a lot. I know it, yet I don't always pay attention. And I don't always want to, frankly. I want to be in charge and have power over everything! Okay, not everything. But close. Our society is really good at perpetuating the myth that one can and should have power over one's illness (because it is often seen as personal weakness) and foibles. Suz, that is a great question! I will carry that with me. Thanks so much. Thank you, MaryK. I know, it never works. I was feeling the current limits of my wardrobe and having a bit of a meltdown. Time for some TLC. cciele, yes, one step at a time, and steady as she goes. So glad to know I'm not alone. Thanks for your support! ambergreen, walking is my favorite exercise. I've had to cut back because of the winter and then my knee, but as soon as I get my knee checked out and figure out what I can and can't do, I hope that my dog and I will be happily hitting the sidewalk again. Peri, love your description of menopause. It's not always easy to find the center ground, but I'm feeling much better after reading such supportive comments. Thank you so much. LACeleste, thanks for chiming in. I totally understand what you mean about the post title. It pains me now to read it, too. I suspect that winter finally being over will be helpful to me, especially mood-wise. I'm so looking forward to the meetup. I think that falls under "being good to myself!" windchime, it is much more fun to exercise with a buddy. I do have some friends who would walk with me once or twice a week, and I have a blue-eyed Siberian Husky who has been gazing at me longingly in hopes of better, longer walks. He's actually a good exercise buddy. He never has an excuse. Now that I think about it, we've actually walked more this week than we have - even with my knee! Thank you. Irene, you are so right, as I've stated above, and as rachylou and others have also said. Thank you for your supportive, wise words. Thank you, everyone, for being so supportive and encouraging. I am so, so appreciative. You've helped me get started on rejigging my mindset. I feel a whole lot better than I did earlier. Also, I think I've got most of my wardrobe for the meetup figured out. Now if I could only wear my really cute shoes, but my knee says flats only. I'm good with that. Irene on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213542 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 21:52:51 +0000 Irene 1213542@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't know you but it is obvious that you are going through a lot of things right now. Menopause doesn't help. I think there is a problem with today's society in that we have started to truly believe that we have total control over our bodies, and that's not necessarily true. While it is true that you can change your nose, fix your eyesight or lose/gain pounds, there are things about our body that we cannot control -like migraines, cancer or even depression. Weight gain is sometimes uncontrollable as well, either because you are getting medicated, you are going through hormonal changes, you are binging due to stressful siuations or a combo of the three, which is your case. Go the healthy road -both for your mind and your body- and lose weight without blaming yourself. I know what that is like because I approached eating disorder tendencies some years ago, so I know all about guilt. It will not take you far. Eat less, excercise more and if you are hungry, binge on fruit or wholegrain bread/cereal. Stay away from junk food, or save it for special occasions. Buy your unhealthy snacks in small packages (like 25gr potato chips bags) so that you can control how much of the stuff you are eating. Give yourself a treat now and then -I treat myself daily, actually- but in small portions. Windchime on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213529 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 21:29:58 +0000 Windchime 1213529@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ BethL--Try to be kind to yourself. Read what you wrote, and imagine that your friend wrote it. How would you respond to her? It's really hard to get motivated to exercise when the weather is cold and dark. A friend and I get together three times a week to exercise. Having that commitment to exercise together gets us out there on the days we might not feel like doing it on our own. Peri--I'm smiling at your comparing menopause to being teenagers without the applause and the mom to take care of us. Isn't that the truth! LACeleste on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213502 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 21:07:12 +0000 LACeleste 1213502@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Beth, I totally understand your post title but it pains me to read it. I am sorry you feel this way.  Please cut yourself some slack. Injuries are rough and this East Coast winter has been a horror.  It sounds like you are on track with your medical appts. so give yourself some credit. I suspect that you will come back from the YLF meet-up feeling upbeat and renewed.  Making people feel understood and appreciated seems to be a YLF specialty! Take care. Peri on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213480 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 20:33:09 +0000 Peri 1213480@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Chiming in to say I'm sorry and I can relate too. Menopause is a B. We are like teenagers without the applause and the mom to take care of us. And I'm seconding Rachylou. There is a lot of blaming the victim that goes on in health care. Some of it true, most of it not. We have some control, but some things just happen to us. Take care of yourself now, like others have said. Suzanne (ambergreen) on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213473 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 20:22:55 +0000 Suzanne (ambergreen) 1213473@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Beth, that is great to hear. You are way ahead of the game then with your resources! I believe that good fats are probably the very key that helps keep us away from the breads, sugars, and carbs, for one thing because it does a much better job of keeping us satisfied. Another thing I want to add briefly--we're also finding that lots of hectic, hamstery cardio tips bodies toward sugar/carb as fuel and that weight training (doesn't have to be a lot either) is much better for the right kind of fat burning. A half-hour walk per day though has been shown to be excellent exercise. Gosh...I should take my own advice there, have not been getting out there much lately. cciele on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213467 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 20:05:32 +0000 cciele 1213467@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So many wise ladies here! As far as life changes go, I totally hear you. We are constantly changing, our environment, our bodies, our minds, and sometimes it's so hard to keep up. I'm also facing the realities of middle-age and bad knees, so I am with you, rooting you on! And yeah, cutting the sugar/carbs will definitely help. One step at a time, as Suz says MsMary on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213466 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 20:01:58 +0000 MsMary 1213466@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ All I have to add is this:  Please be kind to yourself.  I was a yo-yo dieter for 40 years, and I never once was able to hate or shame myself into losing weight! Suz on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213458 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 19:54:43 +0000 Suz 1213458@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Everything Shannon said. And Rachylou, too.  And here is one little question that I find helpful in these moments when I am beating myself up and feeling bad:  "What is one small thing that I can do in the next three minutes that will get me closer to my goal?" And then go do it.    Action is the enemy of shame and guilt.  rachylou on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213445 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 19:43:32 +0000 rachylou 1213445@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hey, Beth. I got to tell you, those aren't 'just excuses.' Those are realities. Don't be afraid to respect them! My neighbor has migraine disease. When she got it, her weight went up, and when she finally got some treatment, it went down. It effects the metabolism - and you've got a lot of other real things going on too. We, my neighbor and I, were also just discussing (again) the 'evil' of being told or thinking one has more power than one does. She's been seeing a guy - who she may dump now - who said to her "most cancer is caused by pH imbalance; I've researched this." The idea being to basically eat lettuce and if you have cancer, it's your fault you didn't eat enough lettuce. Laughable. I'd like to know where he sticks his pH test paper. I'm a type 1 diabetic, myself. My ex-boss told me to eat lettuce. I told him to bite it. BethL on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213441 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 19:30:58 +0000 BethL 1213441@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon, thanks for all your wise words and suggestions, especially your mother's advice about guilt. It's such a good reminder about all of this being a life change, too. Unfortunately, I thought I had made a life change, and now I'm a bit panicky considering where I am again. But, as you said, it's about brushing off myself and getting back on the wagon. That's really valuable to think about. I still have the habits somewhere; I just have to pull them out again. I didn't lose 65 pounds by magic the last time, and I won't lose 40 that way this time. I do know what I have to do, and I don't have to let these last months derail me forever. Thank you again. I'm most appreciative. Thanks also for the info about your knee; that helps, too. Kelly, thanks so much for the support. It's so much appreciated. After I hit the submit button, I thought, "Ack, what did I do that for?!" I'm glad I did. abc, I know you're right: once I get back on the wagon, I will feel better. Now it's just up to me to do it. I think I will begin by starting to track what I'm eating. That usually has an impact all by itself as it makes me more mindful. Thanks for your comment and input. ambergreen, that's so funny that you suggested what you did. I could quite literally write a book on the whole foods movement! I'm so careful about what I eat and from where it's sourced. I belong to a pretty much year-round CSA, even here in New England. I usually eat very little processed food, and I eat almost no protein that comes from factory farms. What I need to do, and this is what I'm finding difficult, is move my diet away again from sugar and carbs. I've done it before, and I'll do it again this time. Suzanne (ambergreen) on "Disgusted with myself" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disgusted-with-myself#post-1213432 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 19:06:42 +0000 Suzanne (ambergreen) 1213432@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi, Beth, just clicked on your thread and well--just want to say that TShannon's advice is excellent. Many are finding out that the starchy carbs she mentions are major culprits in these issues. I'll even go a further step and say that not only protein, but the right fats can make a huge, huge difference. I found that the carbs--which I never even craved that much myself but just ate "normally"--caused terrible, gnawing hunger in me. For decades. Switching to proteins and a good amount of healthy fats (I'll get to those in a second) made life a lot better. I'm no longer distracted by hunger anywhere near how much I used to be. One reason people overeat is that modern "foods"--and I use that term loosely on purpose--are remarkably devoid of real nutrition. Our bodies know this, so they keep seeking nutrition (and often not finding it, no matter how much "food" we eat). The key is to eat whole foods of really good quality--grass-fed beef, wild fish, non-GMO veg of many colors, and so on--and avoid factory-farmed anything, lackluster supermarket veg, sugar, and most starches, especially modern wheat (which is different from what people ate even 50 years ago). Now: even people who are getting into this way of eating still often avoid fat. But fat is really good for us if we eat the right ones. Things to stay away from: industrial seed oils (so-called "vegetable oils," except extra virgin olive oil is good), factory-farmed animal fats, any fats that have that oxidized smell that says they are old. Fats to love: fatty wild fish, pastured eggs, grass-fed animal fats (including butter and some bacon fat--my grandmother who lived to be 96 ate it all the time!), avocados, coconut oil, macadamia nuts, and so on. There's more info out there on this way of eating, and it has really good effects on health and body composition. In short, it has a lot in common with the way people tended to eat before corporate farming took over around the 1960s and started to turn everything into a cheap, low-quality equivalent of addictively flavored sawdust. Best wishes and good health to you and to all.