https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 26 Apr 2026 18:54:53 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1265198 Fri, 30 May 2014 22:50:43 +0000 Anonymous 1265198@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nancy, the difficulty here is that this type of dance requires a partner. What about getting your hubs and/or a friend on board? I think that would resolve a lot of issues.<br /> As far as fit, well, that's hard. There are people who are nice, just not to you and there are people who are just not nice to anyone. Who cares why they do what they do? I know it in my heart that I am not the darned problem. I have actually decided to distance myself from a very specific group of people, whom I had in high regard, because I felf that they were not reciprocating TO ME, while they seemed to be quite nice and appreciative to others. Life is too short to be a placemat. Cest la vie. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1264525 Fri, 30 May 2014 01:40:14 +0000 catgirl 1264525@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I haven't read through the whole thread.&nbsp; First, a giant hug to you.&nbsp; You are a gem - I know that having met you and seen your warm energy.</p> <p>Not much to add, I just want to expand on what Mary said.&nbsp; Some people don't get it, others get it but choose not to step up, and others are truly incapable of stepping up due to their own limitations.&nbsp;&nbsp; The latter type still seem toxic and in many ways they can be, but nothing can be done.&nbsp; And so I make the choice to think of them as pitiable in some way - not to enable them but to allow myself to feel something other than rage or depression.&nbsp; Such people will never experience the joy of giving along with taking, as you have.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1264518 Fri, 30 May 2014 01:32:15 +0000 Mochi 1264518@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(And to be more clear, and fair, the first time I went to the 3-hour crash course taught by my two teachers, they were incredibly welcoming, warm and engaging.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1264513 Fri, 30 May 2014 01:27:17 +0000 Mochi 1264513@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's so interesting, rabbit. When I think back to the day I dropped in on that community practice (which was not run by my teachers, to be clear), when I'd only been studying tango for about two months, so I was just checking the place out....I remember how no one talked to me. It was really weird how standoffish people were (I was sitting near some women, watching people out on the floor).&nbsp;</p> <p>One of the many gems I've garnered from this discussion is that life is too short and I don't want to have to win people over--at least not have to work this hard at just making simple connections with people. This is not a career, it's something I'd be doing in my free time for FUN. Why should I be knocking myself out trying to impress people?&nbsp;</p> <p>It's true, we've all experienced those immediate, easy connections, and this is what I want.&nbsp;</p> <p>So the scope of what I'm looking for is now greatly enlarged, or maybe I should say deepened and made more precise,&nbsp;over what I originally hopped on here to vent about.&nbsp;</p> <p>Thanks, everyone!&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1264321 Thu, 29 May 2014 22:00:13 +0000 rabbit 1264321@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've only done salsa a little bit&nbsp;as a beginner, and never tried tango but I second the VERY friendly and also there were often more guys than girls so everyone got asked. </p> <p>The thing Mary says about finding your community, and it taking a few goes,&nbsp;I've definitely been through that. &nbsp;One thing that I've noticed a few times is that you can often tell the first time you visit a new place. &nbsp; If you have to 'work' to break in and have people be welcoming and inclusive, it often isn't a good bet in the long run -- and I'm fairly gregarious and make an effort when&nbsp;meeting&nbsp;new groups of people.</p> <p>If everyone is immediately hi! yay! we love new people! &nbsp;come do this other thing with us next week!&nbsp;and you can tell they mean it, it's a good bet.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1264148 Thu, 29 May 2014 18:09:20 +0000 anya 1264148@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Mochi,<br />Please forgive me for commeting since i'm not that regular anymore around. But i resonated so SO strongly with you and your problems with AT community. Like you, I have taken up AT 3 years ago. Found some WONDERFUL teachers ( begginer first 6 months than advanced classes) &nbsp;and a niceish social circle. However, me and my husband we were commuting there 45 minutes by bus so we couldn't stay out after the classes . Also we didn't go to all the practicas and milongas ( we maybe went to 2, or 3 a month as opposed to people who were weekly at least) . And I felt the SAME exclusion and cliquishness . 2 of my 3 teachers never EVER asked me to dance socially. Also the guys in my group were not inviting me that much. I felt paranoid and stupid all the time. and tense which slowed my learning A LOT. However, i took a special seminar for a month about the musicality and position and it was marvelous . What i learned to feel in my body was beyond everything i felt and i also listened to music differently from now on. Initlially i though maybe my ( very shy ) husband intimidated other partners ( the only people who would invite me , at max once every other milonga ) were doing this when he was at the bar/bathroom. But i went to a at ball once ( with my godfather and godmother) and i danced maybe 3 &nbsp;tandas ( at least one with my godfather). So i get how exclusive and weird they are.&nbsp;<br />I tried different practicas schools . We went to 3 milongas ( of 2 schools) and hubby and I &nbsp;danced just the two of us. No one invited me &nbsp;( it's true my dh did not invite anyone. he has different views on this and is a VERY shy person) . Despite the tango host greeting us warmly we just did not blend it. AT ALL. We loved the dance and we still sometimes do ( socially, at weddings, private parties, etc) but it's a tough community. AND i've seen girls that were WAY behind me going to the studio each and every weeknight and once int the week-end. Repeatedly asking men to dance( something i mostly refused from a stupid pride POV. /not wanting to appear pushy/being refused). Being all nicey and girly and hanging out with them. And believe me, the number of leaders/followers was/is balanced. AND I'm an extrovert.&nbsp;<br />What i'mm trying very verbose to say is "it's not them is you". If you want to play the social cliquey game, sit at the tables with the cool people. Asking all the males you know for one tanda, it will work. People will see you on the floor so much and you'll grow confidence and all. It's just you have to decide if you really want to do this and do it as a fun thing without opening your heart to this people.&nbsp;<br />The passion for dance is great. Me and my husband argued frequently over ganchos and don't start me on boleos. I pretty much almost hurt my back when he learned how to lead boleos ( he's 6ft3 i'm 5ft3) . But i found you can't really lie to a person/hide your feelings when you tango so for us it's a good way to open communication when we're stuck in a problem .&nbsp;<br />&nbsp;I say don't give up completely on dancing. Maybe join in paralel a salsa comunity. People there are WAY MORE FRIENDLY. And if possible go to a seminar somewhere ( with those argentine guys making tours or smth) or at a beach location. There you're a class , all paid stuck toghether all wanting to learn as much as possible and it's like college all over again. More openess.&nbsp;<br />I don't have a solution. I just commiserate.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1264119 Thu, 29 May 2014 17:29:38 +0000 MsMary 1264119@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, Nancy!&nbsp; I wish I could offer some good advice about how to find one's People!&nbsp; My own method is "stumble around for a ridiculously long time trying things that don't work out, and then get lucky when you least expect it."&nbsp; If there's anything helpful in there, I guess it's "keep trying and don't give up."</p> <p>And yeah, I wish we could all have this discussion in person!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1264097 Thu, 29 May 2014 16:52:44 +0000 Janet 1264097@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wish we were all around a cafe table right now. This community is so wonderful. </p> <p>Nancy, I think it's true that you need to find your People but also your Thing -- whatever form that might take. Photography, rock-climbing, whatever. Sometimes we try something and eventually move on -- we find the activity, and then the people associated with the activity, and then one or the other sticks with you. Or doesn't. I discovered running, found a great community there but I'm not a tight member of it, and have now as a result found bicycling. Again, there's a community there (even more of its own culture than runners), so I doubt they will become my People, but I love the activity. I definitely feel like I've found some of my People through photography. So I say follow your instincts and interests, even if they seem impulsive and tangential. I signed up for that first half marathon in a very impulsive momemt, and as my husband will tell you, I am rarely so impulsive about something that is such a commitment!</p> <p>Have fun and explore. I just wish we lived closer -- it would be fun to introduce you to some of the photography stuff going on in my area. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1263970 Thu, 29 May 2014 14:05:44 +0000 Mochi 1263970@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I want to grab a coffee, but not to vent, but because I miss you and Isabel and my Boston/Cambridge YLF crew : )&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1263967 Thu, 29 May 2014 14:03:14 +0000 Diana 1263967@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(((hugs))), Nancy. </p> <p>The others have given far better advice than I ever could but just wanted to let you know I'm listening and sympathizing. Email me if you want to grab a coffee and vent in person. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1263959 Thu, 29 May 2014 13:56:50 +0000 Ledonna N. 1263959@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sending positive vibes your way Mochi. I think that is what off topic is partly about to vent to share and to affirm that is what I am taking away.&nbsp; Finding a commonality.&nbsp; So feel free to hijack all you want to. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1263934 Thu, 29 May 2014 13:16:20 +0000 Mochi 1263934@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(Hugs, Lina) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1263861 Thu, 29 May 2014 09:57:49 +0000 Anonymous 1263861@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aw Nancy, I know how much these people mean to you. I've had to adjust my expectations from mostly everyone these days. The reality is, I seem to<br /> be one of those people, whom never seem to get a thank you or a nice gesture from people, of all walks of life, when I go out of my way. I just keep on moving. It does stink when I see others getting recognition from those same people, on similar gestures, but I try to patch myself back together. I am sorry I don't have anything useful to provide other than yes, I can relate and yes, people can suck.<br /> Cheer up my tango bailarina </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1263855 Thu, 29 May 2014 09:44:23 +0000 T 1263855@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You have already got a lot of wonderful advice. Just adding my two cents: There is this concept called "Givers &amp; Takers" by Adam Grant. The book gives solutions for Givers on how they can avoid disappointment. This maybe a good link to get started on some of these strategies:&nbsp;<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/24/adam-grant-thrive_n_5209534.html">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....09534.html</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/3#post-1263791 Thu, 29 May 2014 04:11:24 +0000 Isabel 1263791@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just "listening", Mochi. &nbsp; XXXXXX </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263727 Thu, 29 May 2014 03:05:25 +0000 Mochi 1263727@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Awww, Claire. Backatcha in spades! Mwah! That is so sweet. I'm sorry to have gotten you worked up in the AZ heat (it's cold and drizzly here in Boston).<br />&nbsp;<br />lyn*, interesting. Maybe I can just take a long, undetermined break. And not do ANY work for them during that time, as well as classes with them. I have to sort out all the stress, because as I said, much of it is not coming from their operation but from the larger community. I am realizing that this is not my "family" as Mary would refer to it, but maybe not necessary to throw out baby with bathwater? I can just take a break for as long as I like, or however I want to do it.&nbsp;</p> <p>Thanks for the suggestions, Cheryl. And Mary again provides her great perspective which really adds so much depth and insight and always makes me feel better somehow after reading it.&nbsp;</p> <p>xoxoxo<br />Good night for now!&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263524 Wed, 28 May 2014 23:55:52 +0000 Anonymous 1263524@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nancy, I have met you and you are the sweetest woman in the whole wide world. I want to fly to Boston and...well, trying to be non-violent here...tie their Tango shoes too tight! Or tie them together (and then light the laces on fire, heh). Sorry! I get angry when people mess with my birthday twin.&nbsp;</p> <p>You have gotten some great advice here and I tend to agree with it. This guy, especially, sounds kind of passive aggressive and narcissistic. At any rate, my little, "toxic, toxic, toxic!" warning buzzer was sounding as I read your description of the events. It sounds like you are not being respected, so I hope you will at least have the self respect to remove yourself from this constant source of pain. </p> <p>Even if you demand that your instructor&nbsp;dance with you and he (miraculously) deigns to comply, wouldn't it be an empty victory at that point?&nbsp;</p> <p>I respect you, and I think you're terrific!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263514 Wed, 28 May 2014 23:46:44 +0000 lyn* 1263514@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sometimes you find people you love through things that you didn't think were really "you" ... and that's part of the beauty of new friends, discovering yourself!</p> <p>I recently started to rock climb which is totally&nbsp;<i>not</i> my kind of thing, but the fellows are all really nice and no one has dropped me yet! :)</p> <p>Chin up, Mochi - remember, it's them, not<i> you</i>. Also, what your therapist says isn't gospel. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263463 Wed, 28 May 2014 22:53:36 +0000 cheryl 1263463@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mochi, I do a little bit of ballroom and two step dancing which both require partners&nbsp;but my true love is line dancing where you are dancing alone but along with others. Maybe you could try something like that. You get the dancing, the music and the comradery but only depend on yourself. Maybe you could try a line dance class. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263456 Wed, 28 May 2014 22:46:24 +0000 Mochi 1263456@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's reassuring...but how do you recommend I find them? I mean, I want to find them thru doing something I love, and I'm not yet doing that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263453 Wed, 28 May 2014 22:39:37 +0000 MsMary 1263453@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>At the risk of repeating myself, I want to encourage you to keep looking for your People.&nbsp; I didn't really post about it while it was happening, but at the time I was separating from Mr. K I joined a new church and my experience was pretty similar to what you are describing ... despite my best efforts, and despite my feeling like it SHOULD be a good fit, I could. not. get. any. traction. at. all. with those people.&nbsp; I'd do my volunteer thing and nobody would talk to me and I'd go home and feel awful.</p> <p>I was marveling over that today as I walked back to work from my Rotary meeting, where I am, for reasons that are rather obscure to me, the belle of the ball on an ongoing basis.&nbsp; For some crazy reason they are just crazy about me, they are happy to have me in their club, they invite me to their events and to sit on their committees, and it's just ridiculously great!&nbsp;&nbsp; And I would never have gotten to experience it if I'd kept beating my head against the wall that was The Church That Didn't Fit.</p> <p>These are not your People, Mochi.&nbsp; Keep looking.&nbsp; Your People are out there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263440 Wed, 28 May 2014 22:11:36 +0000 Mochi 1263440@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for the suggestion, Louise. I am not sure what I'd take up to replace tango. As if there's one thing that would work. Maybe start working with a trainer, doing kettlebells. (Right now I am working out at home, along with some DVDs. I do know a very good trainer the next town over.) Something is lacking that tango has...art, beauty...but dance is problematic, if it still involves being at the mercy of someone else deciding to dance with you or not.&nbsp;</p> <p>The men-women ratio in tango was definitely working against us women, as well.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263431 Wed, 28 May 2014 21:56:02 +0000 Louise 1263431@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry you're having to deal with this x Could you perhaps have a go at Zumba as a possible replacement? It's still dancing but is more of a 'solitary' sport in that you can take part without a partner x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263420 Wed, 28 May 2014 21:39:50 +0000 Mochi 1263420@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You all are the greatest. Thanks for giving your thoughtful responses. Mary especially. My goodness, you are a national treasure! I wish you would write &nbsp;a book or advice column. Or just hang around all day long guiding me through my daily fumblings.&nbsp;</p> <p>One thing I have been thinking about, and also need to clarify. My two teachers--I started venting here out of frustration with their (varying degrees of) self-interest. If I do stop tango (not positive, and I am appreciative of the other suggestions Peri and others have made), they wouldn't be the reason--their occasional myopic behavior hasn't helped, and is kind fueling my emotions in this decision-making process. But they are one little school in a larger community, and that community is the problem. I have my classes with the two teachers, and I like them in that setting. They host the monthly dances, and then they show up (not all the time)&nbsp;at these larger weekly practices--which are not hosted by either of them. They're just there to dance and help out, if they want, like everyone else, and they're not on the job&nbsp;as teachers at the practices. There are at least a handful of other teachers out there in Boston, and then just a large number of dancers who come to the practices and it's the overall tango community that is a very hard nut to crack socially. (Peri could be right that there is a snooty, or at least somewhat cool, attitude in the community. They are clique-ish.)&nbsp;</p> <p>I'm facing disappointment with my teachers, for whom I've done a lot of pro bono work. But ultimately and for the quite a long time now I've had major trouble making inroads in dancing at the practices and dances...but it's also been easy to make excuses before, when I was a mere beginner and I understood why people would prefer dancing with someone of higher ability.&nbsp;</p> <p>Now that I've come a long way, I see that I'm still having a tough time getting asked, and meanwhile classmates of mine who've been studying less than me are leaping ahead socially and once that's the case, it becomes like a vicious cycle where I will have a harder time improving....if I get less dance time. Plus, it's obviously no fun.&nbsp;</p> <p>So switching teachers is something I will try for a month-long class cycle, but I don't hold any major expectations. I do need to disengage from the school I was at, just because it's too troubling and loaded for me right now.&nbsp;</p> <p>Therapist thinks there are many more things I can do for fun and growth, such as photography, that will not bring on such feelings of inadequacy in me...I am sad to think he's probably right. Plus what Mary was saying--the more I think about it, the more I feel it's not really my community. It's not quite the right fit, though there were some excellent moments and some really nice people. But as I've been advised today, there's nothing wrong with me and nothing I can fix about myself so that I can make this work. Sigh...</p> <p>This has been a major and rocky shift for me, and I'm dealing with a great deal of sadness. But it's good that I've started to see things in a better light.&nbsp;</p> <p>Thank you all again.&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263389 Wed, 28 May 2014 21:09:03 +0000 Glory 1263389@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mochi I am so sorry that you feel you are being difficult. I don't think so at all. I am not sure that any actions or inaction will change the teacher because he sounds very self involved - which makes it about him and not you at all.&nbsp;<br />There are loads of options for a wonderful person like you!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263350 Wed, 28 May 2014 20:08:17 +0000 Echo 1263350@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mochi, I think this couple is getting far more from you than you are from them. You said they are not the only game in town, so prove it. You have had the experience of their teaching to get you started, but what you need from the dance community is now different from what they are able to provide. Changing groups and feeling like you are starting at the "bottom rung" again is very hard, but I think your experiences with this group have perhaps warped your expectations. There should not BE a "bottom rung." You should not have to work so hard to be accepted.</p> <p>At least TRY the other dance locations. Look first at the quality of the PEOPLE there and not the instruction. You have the foundation laid and know the dance; what you need now is an open and accepting community. With your background and your other skills (including photography), you ought to be welcomed with open arms into a community that wants and needs you as much as you want them.</p> <p>And I really do think that people like the couple you are describing are UNABLE to give what you need. Although they exist, few people are so terrible as to know you need something so relatively simple and refuse to give it. These people and specifically this man is unable to grasp your need. He knows you want to dance with him and want him to ask, but emotionally he cannot empathize and feel what you are feeling. He is unable to truly know what you need because he cannot feel it. Forgive him (like he has a disability - because in a sense he does), and move on. There are dance communities who would give their right arm to have you involved, and I think it's high time you valued yourself enough to find one.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263345 Wed, 28 May 2014 19:54:11 +0000 Janet 1263345@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nancy, I'm late to this, and I see you've already received wonderful words of wisdom and advice (yay especially for Mary!), but I wanted you to know I understand how you feel and cannot say you're difficult or demanding at all! Everyone needs to feel appreciated, and I would totally feel taken advantage of if I were in your situation.&nbsp;</p> <p>You will find the right answer. Big hugs.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263322 Wed, 28 May 2014 19:10:31 +0000 cheryl 1263322@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>MsMary, that is great advice for all of us! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263254 Wed, 28 May 2014 17:35:27 +0000 MsMary 1263254@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm going to share something that I hope will help you see a little light at the end of the tunnel:&nbsp; Twice in fairly recent years I have had to leave communities I loved that were no longer working for me, and both times it was hard, but both times I eventually found something even better to fill the empty space.</p> <p>First time I had to give up martial arts, for a variety of reasons ranging from "the dojo moved further away from my home" to "when you get to be over 45 you stop wanting people to hit you in the face."&nbsp; I reallly missed the awesome comaraderie of the dojo but I kept looking and finally found it in my awesome small private gym.</p> <p>Second time was harder -- I gave up my religious community and that left a huge hole, and then the new church I joined turned out to be a disappointment, and then darned if I didn't find exactly what I was looking for (service, friends, singing, potlucks) by joining my local Rotary Club!</p> <p>The lessons I learned from these experiences were (a) sometimes the replacement thing doesn't look exactly the way you will expect it to look, and (b) don't give up because if you keep looking you will find your people! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/disappointed-in-some-people-ive-helped/page/2#post-1263219 Wed, 28 May 2014 17:02:42 +0000 cheryl 1263219@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I so agree with Peri that you should try other forms of dance and other venues. You don't have to give this place up but open yourself up for other dances and people. </p>