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YouLookFab Forum » Topic: * https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 29 Apr 2026 17:35:04 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Kari on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic/page/2#post-941311 Sat, 25 May 2013 04:37:31 +0000 Kari 941311@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, I am so sorry for the stress you're experiencing. I have been incredibly stressed about professional issues as well, and the anxiety can lead into a train of thought where I *know* I'm not thinking rationally. My dear mom reminds me every day to take it one step at a time.  I can't tackle the whole problem at once; I just need to find a small place to start and work at that for a while.  Some days that's enough to help.  Other days, I just try to believe it as I struggle NOT to panic. Anyway, while your situation is different from mine, I really do feel what you're going through, and I wish that I could simply wish it away for you. T-Rex on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic/page/2#post-938955 Wed, 22 May 2013 16:20:19 +0000 T-Rex 938955@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I like the intern idea...  Anonymous on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938678 Wed, 22 May 2013 04:02:44 +0000 Anonymous 938678@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sending more hugs your way. This too shall pass. Suz on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938618 Wed, 22 May 2013 02:31:43 +0000 Suz 938618@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, you have already received such good advice. Anxiety is so double plus unfun. But it will pass, and you will get through it. I love the idea of continued exercise, and fake deadlines for those deadbeat clients --- oops!! I didn't say that!! ----- and delegation, and most of all, one day at a time. Also, a brain dump before bed. Just write down all the stuff that is swirling in your brain and preventing sleep -- sometimes it can help. Sometimes when I am in situations like this I ask myself: What is one thing I can do right now to move me further towards what I need to have happen? And just focus on that one thing.  Big, big hugs. You are strong. You will get through. And please be kind to yourself because you've had an enormous amount of stress lately with the changes in your life.  Carla on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938442 Tue, 21 May 2013 22:36:49 +0000 Carla 938442@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Along the lines of what others have said about your clients taking on their own responsibilities. Folks will sometimes abdicate their responsibilities if they know someone who will shoulder the work for them, even though they are well able to meet those obligations themselves. Early in my career I came back from my first big vacation (3 weeks) which I had scheduled for the quietest time of year for my type of work. Despite leaving with everything done, and messages to folks on the caseload with follow up dates in the future, there were loads of little pink message notes when I came back. When I anxiously started returning calls, most of the issues had been resolved...by the clients themselves! I realise that there is stuff only you can do ( and that's why you have the job!) but sometimes you get caught up in all the little stuff, and that is where,your time goes. Let folks know that you will be away, and that they need to follow through on the tasks you've asked them in your absence. Pick up the threads when you come back, and do the best you can in the time allotted. MsMary on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938397 Tue, 21 May 2013 21:41:21 +0000 MsMary 938397@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes!  "Fake deadline" for the win!!! goldenpig on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938358 Tue, 21 May 2013 20:44:04 +0000 goldenpig 938358@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Big hugs Una! Hang in there! Hope you can enjoy yourself in Hawaii. Anonymous on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938351 Tue, 21 May 2013 20:34:28 +0000 Anonymous 938351@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hire an assistant. Perhaps someone could intern for you. You can then delegate the small stuff, emailing forms, following up with clients etc, to that person. That's what I would do. I am a professional delegator. Good luck and you'll get there. ElleH on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938302 Tue, 21 May 2013 19:45:34 +0000 ElleH 938302@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yoo've already been given good advice. Hugs from me. Rambling Ann on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938245 Tue, 21 May 2013 18:57:14 +0000 Rambling Ann 938245@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ 1 day a week off, no matter how impossible it seems, if you have to do this pace for 2 more months. You and your family deserve it, especially in the short Alaska summer. Your clients are grown-ups. If you give them notice and deadlines and they don't respond, they have to bear the consequences if you aren't available when they can be bothered. It's their cases after all, not yours. What if you got hit by a bus? Your responsibility ends once you give them a clear path to closure. If they don't take it, you are absolved. That said, I'd give them an artificial deadline (I am leaving my job 2 weeks earlier than I really am) so that you can tidy up the last minute stuff that will get dumped. Because people are like that, thriving on the drama of the self-inflicted crisis.  And enjoy Hawaii! Minimal work, many days without checking email. Because starting a new job won't be a restful experience either. You earned it, you paid for it. No need to feel a second of guilt about not being able to babysit grown-ups. Even if they don't want to act like grown-ups. Let that be their choice, not your consequence. MsMary on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938239 Tue, 21 May 2013 18:51:52 +0000 MsMary 938239@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ah.  Well, then. Then I'd give Mr. Una a "to do" list of things he can do to help on-site while you're working remotely from Hawaii. catgirl on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938230 Tue, 21 May 2013 18:41:47 +0000 catgirl 938230@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Mary, I thought of that.  And actually I would do that if not for the following - it's all paid for and would be a lot of $ down the drain, plus my friend and her daughter (whose husband/father just died) decided last minute to come with us, and my friend's disability prevents her from driving.  DH can't go due to his own work schedule.  I do think I'll be able to do some work from there - emailing people consents to withdraw and such... Most of it is being done that way anyway - it's like pulling teeth... MsMary on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938213 Tue, 21 May 2013 18:18:53 +0000 MsMary 938213@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Honestly?  I would consider canceling the Hawaii trip and seeing the week as  "found time" to tie up the loose ends and wind down your practice.  Maybe DH and DS can have a boys' trip and leave you alone to do what needs to be done.  Hawaii will always be there and maybe just this once you will be kinder to yourself to stay home and do your chores. catgirl on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938121 Tue, 21 May 2013 16:07:58 +0000 catgirl 938121@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you all - there is so much good advice here.  I was going to cancel my haircut this afternoon but after reading all this I think I'll keep it and give myself a break.  Also, I *am* leaving for Hawai'i Friday for a week - which should be relaxing but ironically is panicking me further, because it was planned before I took the new job and was in this situation. The main issue is lack of control over other people.  For instance, I say to X client, "Please get this signed and back to me by Monday so we can close your case."  Two weeks later, they have forgotten or lost the form or whatever happens - all par for the course, except I no longer have TIME to deal with delay.  Yes, deep breaths and total survival mode.  And I can probably get some work done in Hawai'i although that seems completely wrong. Janet, I am so sorry you're panicked also.  I hope it's not for health reasons which I know you mentioned... but whatever it is, hugs to you and thanks for taking the time to give me some reassurance in the midst of your own needs. Adelfa on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938117 Tue, 21 May 2013 16:05:53 +0000 Adelfa 938117@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sometimes situations really are more than we can handle comfortably. Hate it when that happens--when the stress of a situation is huge and real and no amount of reframing can change the fact.  I second the list idea.  I'm sure you're already making lists, but see if you can prioritize and think of fewer things at a time. It's thinking of everything all at once that makes me start to panic. Thinking of you! Excited for your new job! rachylou on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938108 Tue, 21 May 2013 15:56:01 +0000 rachylou 938108@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Deep breaths for sure. 3 long sighs. And also, I think some of the best advice I ever got was give yourself 15 minutes a day for panic and worry and only 15 minutes. Because panic and worry don't make anything happen. Things will get done when they get done. All easier said than done of course. But you'll make it! Angie on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938091 Tue, 21 May 2013 15:36:31 +0000 Angie 938091@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hang in there! One day at a time. One hour at a time. And what Dana said. You cannot change what you cannot change. Focus on what you can change. Try to put out the fires as best you can, and make sure you get away for a calm moment each day. Now is a time to work your fingers to the bone so that you get over this hump and get done what needs to get done. But there is light at the end of the tunnel!! You'll look back at this time in a few months and it will not have appeared as stressful. Just make some progress each day and keep your finger on the pulse. You are a strong and capable lady who will get through this. xoxo MsMary on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938089 Tue, 21 May 2013 15:34:29 +0000 MsMary 938089@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hang in there, Kiddo!  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get where you need to be!  Can Mr. Una tie up the last of the loose ends after you turn into a pumpkin? texstyle on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-938088 Tue, 21 May 2013 15:33:47 +0000 texstyle 938088@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Big hugs Una!  I agree to ask for help wherever possible - with your clients, friends, whomever. Order takeout food and don't stress about that. Do what you absolutely have to do and leave the rest for after July. Try to list the top ten critical things you need to have done by say May 31st, then list the next top ten for June 15th. Do you have a reminder software tool? (we develop software so I rely on this type of thing all the time). You could set lots of reminders to help you ease your mind about remembering important dates/times. Capsulize your days - use your best part of the day to focus on the top ten, then the rest of your day to do other things. Practice deep breathing for a couple of minutes when you are driving or doing other tasks. And keep a "happy" song in your mind like "Don't you worry, about a thing, every little thing, is gonna be all right." Janet on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-937978 Tue, 21 May 2013 13:47:45 +0000 Janet 937978@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, sweetie, I am sending you big hugs. I have been in a bit of panic mode myself, but for different reasons, and it's no fun. I don't know if you're anything like me in this regard, but I'll tell you what I experience in case it might be helpful to you. I get so busy doing and running and going that I stop feeling anything. Then when I stop for a moment, all of the emotions that accompany such a time of transition flood me and I lose it. I have had two of those episodes lately. So, if you can take just a brief time to sit quietly and process the change you're planning for, and let the emotions come, I think it can help. I swear, yesterday morning after a good cry and a shower, I felt much better. Try to get enough sleep. I know, I know, it's so hard, but it helps. Last night I finally got almost 8 hours, and I'm so relieved. Prioritize. What absolutely has to be done today? Put everything else in the back of your mind. If you catch yourself scrambling to do something that doesn't need to be done now, stop and refocus. Accept help. In fact, ask for it. I'm really, really bad at this, so remind me to follow my own advice. People who love you really do want to help. I'll be thinking of you! ironkurtin on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-937969 Tue, 21 May 2013 13:36:33 +0000 ironkurtin 937969@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Embrace what you cannot change.  All you can do is your best.  That is more than enough for anyone.  All will be well.  I promise. Anonymous on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-937954 Tue, 21 May 2013 13:26:14 +0000 Anonymous 937954@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Deep breaths.  Hot baths.  Lists.  Delegating.  Wine.  Aerobic exercise. You will get through this! cinnamon fern on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-937925 Tue, 21 May 2013 12:39:49 +0000 cinnamon fern 937925@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have nothing useful to suggest, AG, but hugs.  In your situation I'd be turning to giant lists and wine. Mochi on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-937880 Tue, 21 May 2013 10:56:58 +0000 Mochi 937880@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ That sounds really panic-inducing. I'm very sorry.  Not much consolation, but at least there's an end to this and you just have to get through it for a few more months.  I don't know how to resolve the sleep deprivation vicious cycle, but to me it looks like this is key.  T-Rex on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-937869 Tue, 21 May 2013 10:01:25 +0000 T-Rex 937869@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It sounds like you have lost sight of what the terrain looks like because you are lost in the weeds.  Do you have a friend who knows enough about your work to help you prioritize, and maybe find a few tasks that really aren't necessary that you can just drop? Do you have work friends who may be willing (and able!) to pick up some of your work, with the understanding that you will do a favor for them sometime after your life calms down?  If none of the above, do you have a friend who would be willing to just check in on you, and make sure you are doing things like eating and sleeping? Sometimes just having someone bring you a sandwich can make the day a little less stressful.  Caro in Oz on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-937838 Tue, 21 May 2013 07:03:57 +0000 Caro in Oz 937838@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes hang in there - it will be worth it. If you can find a way of relieving stress, that works for you, schedule it as an appointment & do it - just like you do for your clients :)  Deborah on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-937830 Tue, 21 May 2013 06:43:31 +0000 Deborah 937830@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Una, my only suggestion is one day at a time.  WhenI get into a paticularly busy period, I focus on each day rather than all I have to do in the specific period.  Are you a list person?  If so, it's good to tick things off as you get them done and then not only feel like you are getting there, you know you are.  By the sounds of it, it's worth the effort in the long run.  Hang in there. MNsara on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-937757 Tue, 21 May 2013 03:43:33 +0000 MNsara 937757@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ ETA:  Also, if it were me, some of that anxiety would be coming with the future job.  I'd only be to reason through some of it, but realistically, I'd need to start and get used to the job, and settle in before I'd really calm down. . . MNsara on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-937756 Tue, 21 May 2013 03:41:21 +0000 MNsara 937756@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, Una - remember to breathe!  Somehow, this time will pass, but I'd hate to see you be a wreck over the next two months -- or fall apart when you finally get over this 'finish/starting' line. Seriously consider what you might need to let go of.  At this point, any perfectionism will be cause you grief.  (Not saying you're a perfectionist!  This comes from what I've needed to do with myself) Schedule bits of relaxation (massage? climbing?), leave the radio off so you can be quiet, etc. We're here to talk you down, or up, as needed. . . catgirl on "*" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dealing-with-panic#post-937752 Tue, 21 May 2013 03:26:25 +0000 catgirl 937752@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Anna, thanks.  Really, if I can make it, in two months I'll have real health insurance, a steady paycheck, and a regular schedule.  So it's not all bad.  It's just the sense that I can't breathe, because I have NO IDEA or control over the immediate future, other than to scrabble around insanely...