https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 26 Apr 2026 08:25:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help/page/2#post-1514089 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 13:53:46 +0000 crutcher 1514089@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Late to the party...so I am assuming DD had the tat...<br />Now for a little Mom fun..you know those removable fako tats that wash off or peal off or whatever...Go and get an obnoxious one and put it somewhere entirely off the map...I have a few suggestions but I don't want to offend so I will let you decide where...Come in with the new tat and tell her that her idea was such fun that you decided to get ink too...<br />Show her the awful one and watch her reaction...smile... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help/page/2#post-1514037 Thu, 02 Jul 2015 11:36:09 +0000 harmonica 1514037@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You both look really beautiful! My sympathy. </p> <p>MsMary and Laura have some good points. It's time to let go and count your blessings. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help/page/2#post-1513775 Wed, 01 Jul 2015 19:48:15 +0000 Anonymous 1513775@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have one DD who has several tattoos. She did it when she grew up and got married, so there was nothing I could say about it. My second DD never considered getting one. The third DD probably would have, except that she has had keloid scars removed from her earlobes and has been told not to get any piercings or tattoos, so she can't. The youngest DD doesn't have any tattoos and hasn't said anything about wanting one, so I'm hopeful she won't. She's 17 right now, so that may change, but I hope not. I think (hope) I've successfully made my case about multiple piercings and tattoos not looking professional in most lines of work, and that if they do it, they need to be able to cover up. I also brought home a brochure from our doctor's office about people getting diseases (heart disease, for example) from body piercings. The photos in that brochure of piercings gone wrong was enough to scare anyone, I think. The anti-smoking ads they have on TV right now are having the same effect, thank goodness. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help/page/2#post-1506695 Tue, 16 Jun 2015 11:09:54 +0000 Janet 1506695@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree that it's hard to see your young adult children make decisions you don't love, but at this point, tattoos are so commonplace among that generation that it's very hard to dissuade someone from getting one...or two...</p> <p>My younger stepson (24) has two, both his designs (he's an artist with very talented MICA-trained tattoo artist friends). The older (about to turn 27) doesn't care to get any. My husband has one that he's had for about 15 years -- a very individual design by a close artist friend. </p> <p>Both of my nieces (25 and 32) have them. Unfortunately the younger one got some cheap ones that she now hates, but the older has a huge but very cool tat that covers a lot of her back -- it's a big stack of books (she's a phD and psychologist). </p> <p>Your daughter's ink sounds very discreet and tasteful. As long as she is happy and gets it from a reputable studio and has a good experience, try to be as happy for her as you can. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help/page/2#post-1506584 Tue, 16 Jun 2015 02:46:57 +0000 Aziraphale 1506584@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lol, tell her you'll get a matching one. That might put her off. ;-)</p> <p>Seriously, though, I understand what you mean -- the idea of our "perfect" children wilfully marking their bodies is uncomfortable. But you're right, it's pretty culturally normal to get a tattoo. In fact it's probably a rite of passage. Also, I'm sure you did some things to your own body that your parents weren't totally happy about. (Or maybe you didn't, but I know I sure did). ;-)</p> <p>As far as the actual tattoo she plans to get, and where she wants to get it -- well, it's going to be pretty inconspicuous. There are worse things. Think of it like a scar. Scars aren't always pretty, but they do give you character.&nbsp;It doesn't even matter what you get. For those of you who feel that a tattoo should reflect some deep and meaningful truth, forgive me. I don't agree. The act of marking your body is what matters. This is important, because she <i>will almost certainly not care&nbsp;about</i> the tattoo she gets now when she's forty. I mean, she may not hate it, but she won't think it's particularly clever anymore. What's meaningful now, at this young age, may not be later. (I think this is different if you get a tattoo when you're thirty; your tastes then might have more staying power).&nbsp;</p> <p>Anyway, have that cup of tea -- I'm there with you in spirit! -- and then chalk it up to one of those little things we, as mothers, have to let go. :-)</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506534 Tue, 16 Jun 2015 00:51:59 +0000 Kari 1506534@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am a rarity in my city and age bracket for having no ink at all.<br /> It's pretty common. I'm glad she's getting it in a place that's meaningful to her but where it can be easily concealed; I've had friends who had tattooed arms or legs and had to cover their ink with long garments or heavy makeup, and that sounds like a pain. That being said, I've thought about it when I saw really beautiful, meaningful designs.<br /> (love yours, Biscuitsmom!)<br /> I hope she is getting it from somewhere safe and with a design she really likes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506464 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 21:55:46 +0000 biscuitsmom 1506464@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>sorry for double post, trying to fix it Your reply </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506462 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 21:51:58 +0000 biscuitsmom 1506462@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I got my 1st about 2.5 yrs ago, and I love it. If it's well- thought out, not a spur of the moment thing, and she researches the artist and BBB about the place, I think its great, honestly. I wish I had started getting ink at her age, rather than get my 1st at 51. I plan on getting at least 2 more, if my health permits. This is my first , and only, so far.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506460 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 21:51:04 +0000 biscuitsmom 1506460@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I got my 1st about 2.5 yrs ago, and I love it. If it's well- thought out, not a spur of the moment thing, and she researches the artist and BBB about the place, I think its great, honestly. I wish I had started getting ink at her age, rather than get my 1st at 51. I plan on getting at least 2 more, if my health permits. This is my first , and only, so far.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506350 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 19:11:48 +0000 Thirkellgirl 1506350@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'd feel exactly the same way that you do, truly. My eldest daughter is 25 and one of the (only) things I've learned is that the more you protest, the more she'll want to do it in order to exert her independence. If you're all on board with it, it will lose a little of its allure if she's doing it as a statement of "you're not the boss of me." My friend whose beautiful blonde daughter spent her 20s with dreads taught me that. :)</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506338 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 18:44:00 +0000 citygirldc 1506338@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't mind small tattoos as long as can be hidden later on in life because there's nothing more horrible looking than a old faded&nbsp;tattoo on aged skin. </p> <p>My sister got a small one her lower hip/back so it&nbsp;can't be seen unless at the beach. I have small tat on my left&nbsp;shoulder which I now hate (I had&nbsp;gotten in my 20s). I don't even like to show it off anymore.&nbsp; </p> <p>So, even if you can't change your daughter's mind, at least her tattoo will be somewhere less noticeable.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506329 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 18:18:19 +0000 unfrumped 1506329@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Y'all are both gorgeous!<br />More sympathy here. Tatoos and nose piercings, even though&nbsp;both small, &nbsp;just drove me nuts (inwardly) but there's nothing you can do.<br />What's worse, you're not even able to just "be yourself" and say, well, it's not for me, but that's your choice" because sometimes that's just what they want to hear as justification.&nbsp;I could not bring myself to say, how pretty, though so just tried to ignore it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506298 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 17:21:55 +0000 MsMary 1506298@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, you two could be twins! You are both gorgeous!</p> <p>Tea and sympathy by the bucketloads coming from here, but really... her body, her choice.&nbsp; There is zero upside to making a "thing" about this.&nbsp; Just grit your teeth and smile and nod and don't let her see you sweat. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506286 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 16:50:12 +0000 rachylou 1506286@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sometimes I want a tattoo, because how can I be a real artisan baker without one? But then A) I have no ideas B) even the original ideas get trite fast C) my religiosity gets the better of me (tattoos generally prohibited) D) it's like you have something to hide and E) you have this smudge that can't come off, which seems irritating...</p> <p>Anyways, what would be a good artisan baker tattoo? A cupcake is too Hello Kitty... and anyways, I bake bread.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506281 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 16:24:32 +0000 annabelle 1506281@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My dd carefully chose her hummingbird tattoo, and researched which local artists had the best reputation (including the safety of the shop, btw, which all is mandated by law), and chose the artist. She had it put on her ribs (cannot even imagine how that hurt) which shows when she's in a sports bra or swimsuit or little boho dress but not in her unisuit for rowing. Before she was 18 she wanted a little tattoo on her hand, and the artists recommended she not get one in a visible place until she was sure about it. I'm so glad they recommended that. She wanted a little heart, like she and her friends had been drawing on themselves since third grade! Be thankful your dd has the common sense to get one she can hide when she wants.</p> <p>Like your daughter, mine had chosen the design as something very family significant and personal to her. They want to carry family with them, even when they move away, it seems. </p> <p>Bra band on her ribs, though. Ouch. Anything near a bone is the worst. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506208 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 13:18:05 +0000 texstyle 1506208@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Does she live at home? You could threaten making her move out. ;-). Seriously, I don't know what I would have done. I'm not a fan of tattoos and am very glad I never got one.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506053 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 01:59:05 +0000 UmmLila (Lisa) 1506053@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't like tattoos at all, nor body modifications except ear piercing. also a religious/cultural no no in our family.</p> <p>When my daughter got her ears pierced at 11 or so, at the dermatologist, it was a disaster of infection and asymmetry. On the recommendation of friends, we later took her to a tattoo parlor to have them re done. They did such a good job and it was super clean. She also got that little frisson of counter culture experience checking out the other customers. They asked her if she wanted to have her picture taken with the big needle through her ear but she declined. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506014 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 23:53:25 +0000 DonnaF 1506014@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My sympathy, and how timely!&nbsp; Last night, DD21's WiFi was down and laptop was acting up so she called the parents.&nbsp; I took the opportunity to remind her that she didn't have White Privilege when it came to tats, and that if she were ever to travel to Japan or Korea wearing tats she would be regarded very negatively -- and that youth hostels have shared bathing so they would show, and I told her about comic Margaret Cho's experience at a spa in L.A.'s Koreatown.&nbsp; I also reminded her that skin sags in places unimaginable when one is younger, and I think I have some credibility because I tell her this at age 62.&nbsp; So far, no tats; only a nose piercing.</p> <p>Yes, I would get over it if she ever got a tat.&nbsp; But I've seen the stories about the bad ink, so maybe these days that's a greater concern than dirty needles.&nbsp; That, and bad art.&nbsp; </p> <p>I rather like culturally appropriate tats like Maori tats on Maori.&nbsp; Or even gauges in the ears of those who can trace ancestry back to gauge wearers.&nbsp; But not others.&nbsp; Just call me conservative that way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1506003 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 23:25:53 +0000 Echo 1506003@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Like in the thread on the main page. alcohol is better than tea in this situation!</p> <p>My DD is only 11 and thus far has rejected the idea of ANY body modification, from pierced ears to tattoos. I keep reinforcing her view by telling her that being unmarked is as alternative as a person can get now. But who knows what the future holds? I give you kudos for her being able to tell you at all, though, because I got my first tattoo while I was halfway across the country from my mum (who would have had a heart attack)!&nbsp;</p> <p>And both you and your DD are beautiful. It runs in the family! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1505987 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 23:13:49 +0000 Karie 1505987@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>She might regret it someday, but at least it's not in a place where it's very conspicuous. I have two - the only one I regret is the giant heart shaped scroll on my leg, I just wish it was a lot smaller.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1505982 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 23:05:59 +0000 rachylou 1505982@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Remind her that hipsterdom has jumped the shark! Exclaim, 'It's on your head!' Call her 'my poor defiled baby' every chance you get for the next 60 years to everyone within earshot!</p> <p>Well, I'm just sayin' - these are the traditional forms of payback... ahem, parenting... Won't fix the tattoo, but you'll have extra leverage with regard to law school... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1505973 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 22:36:08 +0000 Debbie 1505973@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As a Mom of two adult women I can tell you that Gaylene is correct. Practice saying oh really and that's nice in the mirror. This is the first if many times you are going to need to use it. Both of my girls have tatoos. One is now in her early thirties and would like hers removed. My daughter in her mid twenties is still In love with her's.<br /> Have a stiff cup of tea.<br /> She is beautiful just like her Mom. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1505968 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 22:17:33 +0000 Deborah 1505968@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just read your other post:). I don't mind the odd, carefully placed tattoo:). In fact if I could choose a design I would have a small one myself;). I think you did good checking out the place and at 18 it is a decision she can make. I understand where you are coming from, but perhaps now switch gears and tell her how cute it looks:). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1505948 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 21:41:14 +0000 karymk 1505948@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Waaaaaah you are all such sage ladies. &nbsp;Thank you for listening! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1505941 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 21:31:31 +0000 Summer 1505941@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tea and sympathy coming right up. &nbsp;I'd be upset, too, but at least the tattoo should be quite discreet.</p> <p>Your daughter is beautiful.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1505938 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 21:26:34 +0000 Mochi 1505938@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I felt the same way (to a lesser degree) with my daughter, who now has two tattoos. One on her wrist, and the other on the back of her neck, which is usually covered by long hair. So at least they're not prominent or covering the length of her arms or anything.&nbsp;</p> <p>I also don't like tattoos, most of them...I think they're usually not well designed, and kind of tacky looking. Occasionally I'll see a really beautiful one. And I also feel like nothing's more beautiful than skin in its natural state. However, as others have stated, it's her body and she's an adult...unless you can get her to hold off, it's going to be something you need to get used to.&nbsp;</p> <p>Interestingly, I've heard that tattoo removal is a rapidly growing industry. : )&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1505935 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 21:14:27 +0000 Sal 1505935@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That must be hard...have a big cup of tea (or a strong gin and tonic) and grin and bear. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1505912 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 19:58:05 +0000 Anonymous 1505912@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm, I've never been a fan of tattoos myself. I guess as others have said, If you disagree you will only make her more determined, though I like Lara's idea of asking to wait and then decide. It does sound like a very discreet area of here body&nbsp;that she is planning to have the tattoo.</p> <p>You and your DD look like so alike in the photo. Both very beautiful!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1505900 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 19:35:00 +0000 Gaylene 1505900@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, you could act excited, telling her how much you LOVE the idea, and might even consider one for yourself. Parental approval can be a huge turnoff at 18. ;)</p> <p>But, honestly, if that is going to be her way of asserting her independence as a young adult, thank your lucky stars. Being the parent of a young adult involves a lot of watching from the sidelines, gritting your teeth, and faking a smile. Substituting "hmm, that's interesting" for "why on earth would you do/want something like that" doesn't come easily for a mother. </p> <p>And, by the way, your baby girl is as gorgeous as her mother--that picture of the two of you is simply beautiful. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dd-18-is-going-to-get-a-tattoo-help#post-1505896 Sun, 14 Jun 2015 19:18:27 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1505896@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry you're so worried and hurt. It's hard for both parents and kids at that age to figure out how to separate and shift to a new kind of adult relationship. </p> <p>To play the other side, she's 18 now, so it's her decision about what to do with her body, and there are far worse things to do with yourself than get a small tattoo that won't show when you're wearing regular clothes. I'm sure you've raised a bright and thoughtful daughter and she'll make decisions wisely (at least most of the time - all of us made some mistakes when we were 18, it's part of the process of growing up). I don't have any tattoos, but I know for my friends that do, it's not marring their skin; it's making an important statement that they want to carry with them always. Even if it's just something fun that she might wish she hadn't done in a few years, it's not the end of the world. None of our bodies are 'perfect', even when we're young, and it's a lot of pressure to put on a young woman to have an unflawed body, especially in today's climate of unrealistic beauty and body standards.</p> <p>She's not your baby anymore, and if she's anything like me, trying to control her behavior inappropriately will backfire and push her away from you faster. I remember when I was a teenager fighting mightily with my parents - my mom especially - about getting my ears pierced. For a while they insisted I had to wait until I was 18, and I finally convinced them to let me earlier if I got it done at the doctor's office rather than at a piercing place. Too bad the nurse didn't really know what she was doing, used the same auto-gun they had at the mall store, and had no idea how to advise me how to take care of them, so I spent until my early 20s having periodic infections, until I met friends in college who had 'serious' piercings and taught me all the things I was doing wrong. </p>