https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 20 Apr 2026 22:53:32 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-716881 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 07:57:05 +0000 MsMary 716881@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>+1 to CocoLion -- all of it!</p> <p>Good luck!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-716853 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 06:33:20 +0000 CocoLion 716853@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Could it be that his viewpoints were meant to be sarcastic, even funny responses to your questions? I agree with someone else who thought he was showing off.</p> <p>I don't know if this guy is the one or not. But you could have a lot of fun finding out!</p> <p>My advice: date other men, while still dating him. Only sleep with him or any man if he becomes exclusive with you. Finally, let the him pursue you, not the other way around. Maybe this sounds old-fashioned or like "games" but I have found it to be true. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-716285 Sun, 09 Sep 2012 15:21:05 +0000 mrseccentric 716285@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sylvie said: "However, asking if Kandinsky can survive in the woods or if the opera singer can flip burgers comes off as dismissive and disrespectful of their respective artistic talents. It comes across as judgmental and suggests that he has a very narrow view of what he considers worthwhile."</p> <p>really. I have to say that disagreeing respectfully and thoughtfully is one thing, but off the wall is something else. Like what, flipping burgers is some amazing life skill everyone should have or at least respect intensely? FWIW, my husband and i are VERY opposite in many views and in personality and certain interests. But we do have many values in common (love and respect for nature and animals, a love of diversity in people and locations, for example).</p> <p>anyways, my opinion is that if you feel like asking the forum if you should date him again, there's your answer. And i'm not surprised he called you back - sounds like you've got him all riled up! best of luck and have fun! steph </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-716221 Sun, 09 Sep 2012 13:32:49 +0000 Traci 716221@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can't wait to hear if you give him a second chance and how it goes.</p> <p>I'm the queen of rationalizing, so here goes. Does he dislike art? or is his aesthetic about function? Two very different ideas to me. Someone who can't appreciate beauty would trouble me. Someone who has a different opinion about the ingredients of beauty would be another thing entirely. I'm curious which camp he's in.</p> <p>I have a feeling that his comments about art are really comments on some issues he's working through with himself. Coming out of a divorce, living with parents (even if not currently) he's probably working through some self worth junk. His need to be about form over function, his need to be a provider, his need to be able to survive in the woods. I'm not sure if that pov makes him more or less appealing in my eyes.</p> <p>Instead of challenging him to the art museum, what about either a hike to some beautiful natural spot? See if he can appreciate the beauty or if he just talks about his heart rate and air quality. Or some type of music event. I notice music is the one type of art that even those who are turned off by "art" are still drawn to. Can he be moved by music?</p> <p>good luck with whatever you decide! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-715729 Sat, 08 Sep 2012 15:41:47 +0000 Jonesy 715729@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just found this thread! I'm fascinated by this dude and agree with those who ask about the chemistry--is there any at all? If yes, I love the idea of going to the museum with him! See what happens...Maybe he will further reveal himself as an impossible-to-deal-with kind of guy, or maybe he will loosen up and be interesting. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-715499 Sat, 08 Sep 2012 05:24:12 +0000 velvetychocolate 715499@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very interesting indeed! </p> <p>Do you like him enough to spend another few hours out with him? I know the first date didn't go quite as well as you'd have liked, but how do you feel now? About going out with him again, I mean? </p> <p>Meanwhile, I don't see anything wrong with suggesting the Seattle Art Museum </p> <p>(giggling here....)</p> <p>No, but in all seriousness - why not? Go for coffee, go to the art museum, maybe lunch after or dinner or what have you - depending on time of day. </p> <p>Very curious as to what happens next - hope things go well. Oh, and I'm *not* shocked that it turns out he'd like to go out with you again. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-714988 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 19:52:57 +0000 biscuitsmom 714988@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If he changes plans or puts down your opinions *again* I wouldnt waste any more time on him....of course he wants to see you Just make sure *he* is worthy of it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-714708 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 15:42:54 +0000 Mo 714708@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ha! I think that could be an interesting way to see how important or not your art differences are. Then you can go flip burgers or hunt in the wild to sustain yourselves lol! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-714678 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 15:13:16 +0000 ironkurtin 714678@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>AG, I'm with Angie. Aside from the annoying bits, was there any chemistry? Did you feel like he respected your opinions even though he disagreed? Or did he just dismiss them? An interesting debate is fun, but being shut down isn't so much. I dated my now-husband at first because I was so bored and lonely. I really didn't even like him that much. But we had a lot of chemistry, plus he laughed at all my jokes (!) and now we've been together for 20 years. So, you never know. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-714612 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 14:10:58 +0000 MNsara 714612@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just caught up here (and just found the OT category!) and I'm glad if you'll be seeing him again to further get to know him. You've gotten excellent views on what to make/not make of the first date. Hopefully, you'll see a bit more of the 'real' him 2nd time around. Although he still might act weird around an art museum because he has no idea HOW to be around an art museum.</p> <p>Gah! The early dates can be SO awkward :-\ Getting to know the 'real' someone usually takes time . . .</p> <p>As to what he wore - some guys are just clueless. If what he wore was clean, that may be all he's up to - without female guidance. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-714317 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 04:41:17 +0000 catgirl 714317@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>"Color Me Shocked" - a rom-com coming soon! Well, this is exciting news, Anna... keep us posted. Could be worthwhile - but do you want to see HIM again? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-714307 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 04:32:25 +0000 anne 714307@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Awaiting your updates with interest! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating/page/2#post-714275 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 03:50:21 +0000 Anonymous 714275@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>DO IT! Challenge him. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-714256 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 03:09:18 +0000 annagybe 714256@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well color me shocked. I just got a message from him. He wants to go out with me again.<br /> I almost want to challenge him to visit to the Seattle Art Museum. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-707797 Fri, 31 Aug 2012 00:30:57 +0000 annagybe 707797@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So I've texted him about his energy bars. I don't think I'm going to persue this one. The negatives outweigh the positives. He had a very specific, perculiar world view. I think I would be easily annoyed and frustrated by him. Thanks for all the input.</p> <p>ETA Dating is really hard. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-707580 Thu, 30 Aug 2012 20:20:21 +0000 nicoleb 707580@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I really enjoyed reading this thread. </p> <p>My husband is my best friend and we have a ton of things we are opposite about but it works for us. However thats not to say we don't have anything in common. The same could be true with this guy as you only went on one date with him?</p> <p>Though to be honest if anyone I was dating revealed to me they were living with their parents it'd ring some alarm bells. But that could be just me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-707293 Thu, 30 Aug 2012 16:14:07 +0000 Janet 707293@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting comments! I think there is something to having some things distinctly *not* in common, which can help a couple challenge each other (hopefully in a healthy way). I also think a lot depends on temperament and personality. For instance, I'm quite easygoing and really hate conflict, but I enjoy a good, respectful debate. I have no patience for people with an opinion in a matter of taste just believe the other viewpoint is "wrong" and can't respect that someone else might view it a different way. I have actually dated some guys like that, and thank goodness that's over! </p> <p>My husband and I connected the very first night we met about several topics we discovered were close to both of our hearts. Literature was a big one (we talked about Rilke), as were music (I was thrilled to learn that one of my favorite new musical acts at the time were actually friends of his -- he was excited to learn that I was a DJ at the radio station he'd just discovered), and travel (we shared our experiences in the desert southwest). </p> <p>But we are very different people in so many ways -- he is an extrovert while I am an introvert, he grew up with very little in a rural environment and I grew up in a solidly upper-middle class suburb, etc. He's impulsive and I am a planner. Our differences usually make us stronger as a couple. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-707182 Thu, 30 Aug 2012 14:41:36 +0000 Anonymous 707182@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ana, I won't lie. It can be complicated to be with someone who does not share many of your interests. My fiancee and I are so different, in all aspects, from personality to likes and dislikes, political views, even food choices. We made it work from the beginning because the chemistry was clearly there. I also think our polar opposites compliment each other and make a good whole. My daughter has 24/7 access to discerning views and she loves it. </p> <p>Perhaps it is worth looking into this guy and accepting a second date. Again, it can be a lot of work.</p> <p>An example: My fiancee loves all sports, whereas I don't even have the first clue about them, none, zip, nada. He bought me this book when we started dating. I just fell for it. So cute!<br /> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Smart-Girls-Guide-Sports/dp/1594630119" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/The-Smar.....1594630119</a><br /> I still don't know much about any sports but hey, I have a book. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-706670 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 22:42:01 +0000 rachylou 706670@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had to come back and say I'm a huge Chihuly fan. His work is amazing.</p> <p>Yes, big fan.</p> <p>Ok. Back to regularly scheduled program. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-706649 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 22:23:50 +0000 Sylvie 706649@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think it's that important to have exactly coincident interests, although one would hope for at least some overlap so that you have activities you can share together. What bothers me is his (based on your story) lack of respect for artistic endeavors. If he doesn't Chihuly's art because it isn't functional, that's fair so long as he understands that other people might.</p> <p>However, asking if Kandinsky can survive in the woods or if the opera singer can flip burgers comes off as dismissive and disrespectful of their respective artistic talents. It comes across as judgmental and suggests that he has a very narrow view of what he considers worthwhile.</p> <p>People can disagree on issues but they should at least be wiling to talk about them and hear the other side for the sake of having an interesting conversation. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-706559 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 20:33:36 +0000 Gaylene 706559@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One question: did you find him interesting enough to spend another couple of hours in his company? If your answer is "yes", then what do you have to lose by going for a coffee and getting to know him a bit better before passing a final judgment? If the answer is, "no, not really", then, unless you are desperate for company, give it a pass. </p> <p>I think you can get a bit too analytical about first dates and what things mean--or might mean--or could mean--or may mean in the future. Personally, I think changing plans like he did was a bit tacky, but, later in a relationship, can be part of a great "how we met" story. And, while I think "chemistry" is important, it is not always immediate. My DH and I are closing in on our 40th anniversary, but started our relationship as more of a "I like hanging out with you because we have so much fun together" kind of thing. It fairly quickly grew into "I want to be with you, and ONLY YOU, for the rest of my life" for both of us-- and has pretty much stayed that way for four decades despite the fact that I love Puccini and Kandinsky while he prefers Charlie Parker and has offered to paint a "modern art" canvas for me anytime I wanted one. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-706549 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 20:20:25 +0000 rachylou 706549@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, I see! Ok, are you ok being seen with someone in Keens? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-706537 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 19:52:56 +0000 annagybe 706537@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gear is very much the norm here. Though when I saw him, I wondered why I fretted so much about my outfit. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-706536 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 19:51:48 +0000 rachylou 706536@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OH. MI. GOD. He doesn't like Dale Chihuly? KICK HIM TO THE CURB.</p> <p>Ok ok ok. Sorry. No. Just kidding.</p> <p>When I was 19, I freaked out on the boy I was going out with because I learned HE'D NEVER READ A WHOLE BOOK. I mean, he <em>did</em> graduate from high school. I got ANGRY. I found it MORALLY OFFENSIVE. </p> <p>Now, I'm 43 and my bf is also a man who's never read a book. HAHAHA. There are some key differences, I will admit, between this boyfriend and that one. And also, I've matured, if only a little. </p> <p>I think the key question is whether or not you <em>feel</em> - not think - you can appreciate this guy. My bf doesn't go for the symphony and so forth, but he still has an incredibly developed and disciplined aesthetic that I have to appreciate and respect. Also, I cannot stand the boys of my own ilk; somewhere deep inside, my soul rebels against a man who asks <em>me</em> to open jars for <em>him</em>.</p> <p>Have to add: I have the same wariness as Una does re. outdoorsy men with a lot of self-righteousness. I just do not do bombast. Period. Their women will tell them off, as you'd expect - that is their way and style, this tribe - but when I tell someone off... I'm done. End of story. That's just how it is.</p> <p>... what sort of shoes WAS he wearing? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-706534 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 19:47:19 +0000 Anonymous 706534@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Isn't gear kind of the norm for where you live? I'm not surprised he showed up in Keens, although it does strike me as a little odd he didn't put a bit more effort into his appearance for a first date. But again, I don't think it's enough to banish him quite yet from "Anna's List of Potential Suitors." There are just too many unknowns right now ... although right now, he can't afford too many more mistakes before he fails this venture altogether!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-706516 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 19:17:29 +0000 annagybe 706516@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well this didn't help either</p> <p><a href="http://www.refinery29.com/mens-shoes" rel="nofollow">http://www.refinery29.com/mens-shoes</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-706506 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 18:59:14 +0000 Marley 706506@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think that since you are unsure/confused that you should meet him again - but only if there was some chemistry - otherwise there's no point to a 2nd meeting! (unless you're looking for something other than a boyfriend) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-706491 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 18:39:54 +0000 keruchina 706491@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I vote that if you are confused, you might as well go out with him again if he asks. The cost of going on another date is much lower than the cost of missing out on someone you might actually end up liking. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-706462 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 18:11:18 +0000 catgirl 706462@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I worry about outdoorsy people who are too righteous. There's a lot of those here too. It's possible to be active and non-judgmental/interested in other people's choices. Not sure if he's that type but he is giving off some of those vibes, it sounds like to me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/dating#post-706390 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 17:05:59 +0000 Anonymous 706390@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oops! Just read your update. </p> <p>The change of meeting place/being late thing would've irritated me too. I'd want clarification regarding his living situation, as well. It might take you a few dates to figure out if this one's a dud or not. </p>