https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 21 Apr 2026 17:18:26 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate/page/2#post-2062141 Thu, 19 Sep 2019 00:43:59 +0000 Phoebe1 2062141@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have very curly hair that I never straighten, and I have worn it just about every length. I think the length that suits me best is just touching the shoulders (with layers to maximize curl). I have had the urge to go short a couple of times in my life, but always regretted it afterwards. Curly hair is SO hard to grow out--it literally grows *out* before it grows down--and on me I think a short cut looks really...i dunno, basic? Whereas I think longer curls on me have a bit of an off-beat feel, which feels more like *me.* (Not very off-beat, just a little, lol.) It's too bad, because I love short hair on others--I love an edgy short cut.</p> <p>I'm sure some people I encounter IRL think my hair is messy, or not styled appropriately, or not business-like. Whatever. I really don't give a rat's patootie. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate/page/2#post-2062128 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 23:57:07 +0000 Carla 2062128@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Before I retired, I had a vibrant and involved co-worker who was bald due to alopecia. She sometimes wore a head-wrap in winter, but most of the time went without. She was confident, outgoing, and unapologetic. Climbing the corporate ladder and raising a young family. A beautiful, beautiful woman and she drew people to her like a flower draws bees! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate/page/2#post-2062091 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 20:38:04 +0000 Helena 2062091@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Donna,undoubtedly - an awful insult for anyone to have to endure </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate/page/2#post-2062088 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 20:17:01 +0000 DonnaF 2062088@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Torontogirl; that minister recently retired, but I know it hurt her deeply because she told the story more than once and she repeated it after eight or ten years had elapsed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2062069 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 19:39:41 +0000 Helena 2062069@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Donna, that is good news about the bill (insane as it may be that it even needs to exist) - bad news about the man in your church! Although it sounds like she is a strong woman who knows and is confident in herself; whereas, well, he's <i>that</i> bothered about someone's hair - so he is likely missing out on far more by not having her in his life than the reverse. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2062068 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 19:29:36 +0000 DonnaF 2062068@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>California’s governor recently signed into law a bill protecting women (and I’m assuming men; haven’t read the language) from discrimination for having naturally textured hair! Now African American women won’t have to fear being fired for failing to chemically process or hot comb their hair. </p> <p>A man left my church because he couldn’t deal with the otherwise femme, black, lesbian identified minister’s shaved head. When she told him no, she wasn’t planning to grow it, he left before he could really experience what her ministry was really like. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2062048 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 18:40:48 +0000 Janet 2062048@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ropeball, you make an excellent point about short hair and the constant upkeep. My hair grows fast — keeping it short and styled is really hard for me, and I kind of forgot that. It’s way easier to go an extra couple of weeks between cuts with longer hair! It’s the coloring the gray roots that gets me. Haha! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2062023 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 17:57:38 +0000 ropeball 2062023@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting topic here. I like my hair short, but I have not cut it short for more than 10 years now, as I don’t like the regular trim maintenance and my hair is too straight and heavy to carry short look well (I wanted a pixie look then, and my hair is not for it). So now, I have it a little over the shoulder length, enough short, but don’t have to go to hair salon every 2 months.</p> <p>The man in my circle prefer women with longer hair. Some admit it. It is their perception that it is more attractive. If their SO cut the hair short, they compliment it and then wish they would grew out the hair later. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2062010 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 17:32:48 +0000 Anonymous 2062010@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It would be nice if two YLFers would keep their personal sniping off these threads.</p> <p>Yes, I am the politeness monitor of the bunch.</p> <p>Cheers,<br />X. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061994 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 16:56:39 +0000 Barbara Diane 2061994@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This has been an interesting discussion.<br />My favorite hairstyles on me have been either longer, or shorter in back, longer in front, which is not in style anymore. One of the reason I grew out the front section was that as I got older I had less body in my hair, and I put on some weight, and I felt that I needed the extra hair to balance everything.</p> <p>DH saw a photo of my hair when it was quite short and liked it, until he realized that that was all there was. He thought the rest was in a ponytail or something in the back, lol. The horror on his face was priceless.</p> <p>Many years ago a friend had her bachelorette in a strip club. What surprised me most at the time was seeing all these men with very different body types (honestly, I had been wondering what some of them were doing dancing there) and that the women in our group liked very different men.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>I had a very skewed view of beauty growing up in surfer/beachy southern California. The aesthetic was definitely tall, blond, long hair parted in the middle. In my 20's a kind guy was shocked when I said that I thought that was the only beautiful look, and refuted my opinion. His words had a profound effect on me. It may have helped that by then I didn't live in Southern California.</p> <p>I have a friend who recently went through chemo. Quite to her surprise, her partner (male) loved her bald head. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061951 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 14:22:21 +0000 Helena 2061951@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>100% what Angie said! If someone can decide whether or not a person is 'attractive' based on hair length and no other context than that, I think that's frankly kinda weird </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061884 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 08:16:52 +0000 rachylou 2061884@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Like so many things, I think this one is tribal too. And also, what’s beautiful is different from what’s attractive. Liking how someone looks is different from wanting to talk to them - unless that’s your tribe... I saw a modern Camaro the other day. Thought it looked good. Would never in a million years think of actually buying one. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061838 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 02:48:05 +0000 Janet 2061838@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree, hair length is such an individual thing! The last time my hair was short was 25 years ago. I got it cut short after a breakup, when I was starting graduate school. I also had it short in college (but short in that 80s way — short in back and big in the front, LOL). </p> <p>Now, however, I’m afraid to go short. I have a small head, and I’m much bigger/heavier than I was 25 years ago, so I worry I’ll look like a little pinhead on a big body. Plus my hair is not as thick as it was back then — I really don’t know how it would behave in a short cut. </p> <p>So for now I’ll stick with the devil I know. I get a little bored with my hair sometimes, and I don’t think I’m suited to my hair being much longer than it is now, so it seems I’m sticking with mid lengths. </p> <p>Oh, the thing about longer hair being more attractive to men? I think that’s highly overestimated. After I got that short cut many years ago, I dated a guy who I had met in a bar while out with friends — he mentioned later that with my short dark hair, I stood out from all the typical girls our age who were wearing long blond hair at the time in our area. So sometimes I think having the courage to be different makes one more attractive. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061816 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 01:41:51 +0000 Echo 2061816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have never experienced a difference in the way men respond to me, regardless of hair length. Indeed, once in college I chopped off my hair, dyed what was left platinum and bought red lipstick, and it attracted men like flies. I really agree that beauty comes from the confidence one feels in oneself, regardless of style or hair. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061783 Wed, 18 Sep 2019 00:07:58 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 2061783@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>Interesting article and discussion! <br /></div><div>I have had long-ish hair (just at or past the shoulder) and short hair from bobs to variations on a pixie. I think I feel more "me" with short hair. But I have enjoyed long hair the few times that I've grown it out. <br /></div><div>A few years ago, I grew out my hair and wore it longer for maybe a year or so. I felt I was going for a prettier look rather than cute or striking. On my best days, I felt it added elegance and/or a bit of nonchalance to my look. (This passage from the article spoke to me: ". . . that same study also indicated that while long or medium-length hair<br /> can make a plain woman seem more attractive, the attractiveness of<br /> women whose faces were conventionally pretty was unaffected by their<br /> hair length." With my plain face, I feel that longer hair gives me a little nudge toward more conventional beauty.) <br /></div><div>Then I had an accident last winter that cut my upper lip and left it scarred and a little lopsided. I went back to short hair, to embrace the quirkiness of my look. I am really liking my new haircut.<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061770 Tue, 17 Sep 2019 22:44:56 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2061770@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>ST, yes! I am terrible at recognizing people anyway. A simple change in someone’s hair can really throw me off, especially in a photo, because I tend to recognize the way people move. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061769 Tue, 17 Sep 2019 22:36:47 +0000 Anonymous 2061769@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Now where did I leave my popcorn..........? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061712 Tue, 17 Sep 2019 18:46:18 +0000 Anonymous 2061712@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's always amazing to me how different people can look with a change of hair style or color! Different lengths seem to bring out different features and seem to change the face shape. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061556 Tue, 17 Sep 2019 06:45:49 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2061556@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>Just the definitions of "long" vs "short" hair vary from person to person. A while back, Angie wrote something about having grown her hair out and I thought "what? Was I gone that long? Did I miss something?" Turned out her hair was maybe as long as mine in this pic, which for me is short. Made me laugh and realize that yes, her hair was considerably longer, and that those basic terms are relative to a person's individual norms.<br /> </div><div><br /> </div><div>I've changed my hair up a few times. Generally kept it "boy" short while in grade school, then grew it out through middle school until in high school, in the 80s, it fell to my bra strap and I had a "body" perm that made it as wide as my shoulders. I've had bobs and pixies, grew it long while preggo, chopped it off, and then grew it back to where it is today.<br /> </div><div><br /> </div><div>At any length (with the exception of high school), it's been important to me to have basically "wash and wear" hair that doesn't require much effort. I've got better things to do than that! You don't have to like how I wear it, but I'd keep anyone who didn't accept the length or style at a distance. (For that matter, I'd keep anyone who was opinionated about any part of my style and judged whether it was "up to their standards" at a distance--or just pity them.)<br /> </div><div><br /> </div><div>I loved my son's hair longer when he was little, but I was not good at taking care of it. In this photo, his hair is *much* longer than mine--went past his shoulders when it was wet/straight. I wish he'd try it again now, but he doesn't want to. Also, we are both a bit leery that, similar to what DonnaF experienced, women would be attracted to the hair with certain incorrect expectations of him as a person. And of course, police officers and supervisors of all types reading the wrong thing into a black man’s hairstyle can be detrimental.<br /> </div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061533 Tue, 17 Sep 2019 04:34:07 +0000 Gigi 2061533@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for the article, Runcarla. Very interesting!</p> <p>I am one of those who always felt that long hair was very feminine. I always wanted long hair. But the problem is, I really don't look good with long hair. I've tried growing it out a couple of times, but the longest I've gotten is almost to my collarbone, at which point I had to hack it off because I hated dealing with it. It really overwhelms my small frame. And I'm not going to spend hours styling my hair, sorry! As Angie said, some people just look better with one length or the other.</p> <p>As I was growing my hair out, I had to face the question others are asking here: Is this me? I had to admit that it was not me. Short hair is much more me. So I got my hair chopped off, to slightly below chin length, and every few months after that, I've gone back and gotten it cut shorter and shorter. I don't want a pixie--I don't feel that a pixie is me either--but I definitely feel less like myself once my hair starts getting to shoulder length.</p> <p>I think both short and long hair can be beautiful. It depends on how it looks on the individual person and how they style it. And how it fits in their overall look. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061499 Tue, 17 Sep 2019 01:23:21 +0000 Jaime 2061499@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting. I definitely agree with Angie that there are no general rules and different things work for different people.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061492 Tue, 17 Sep 2019 00:43:04 +0000 Anonymous 2061492@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>To me, a woman's hair style has to look fabulous on her. It is not really about an ideal length or style. The article was interesting but seemed to emphasize that a woman’s confidence and personality is more important than hair length, </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061487 Tue, 17 Sep 2019 00:31:57 +0000 deb 2061487@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fun thread, Carla!! DonnaF, I too had center parted long hair (but with blunt cut bangs) In the 60's and 70's. I went from hair almost to my bottom to a pixie in the late 70's and loved it. I wore it short in many variations until my 50's when I got a burr up my butt and decided to let it grow. I am now 65 and I keep my hair in a blunt cut to the middle of my back. I have very few grey hairs and consider my hair as one of my best assets. As far as the attraction factor of hair length, I do not think it matters. It is all in attitude and presentation. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061485 Tue, 17 Sep 2019 00:22:11 +0000 hereforthecake 2061485@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Like you, Runcarla, I am hair obsessed!<br /> I've come to realize that I have my own biases regarding women's hair length. </p> <p>I feel that women with (styled) short hair are stronger and more confident. I've always thought this. </p> <p>Of course it's completely ridiculous. My bias isn't any more reasonable than any other, but there it is. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061483 Tue, 17 Sep 2019 00:14:07 +0000 bj1111 2061483@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’ve always had shoulder length or longer hair except the two times I lost all my hair. The first time I grew it back out. The second time it stuck. Mr bj1111 and his positive feedback helped immensely with accepting and loving my new do </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061480 Mon, 16 Sep 2019 23:42:42 +0000 DonnaF 2061480@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Back in the late ‘60s/early ‘70s, I had very long hair parted in the middle, like Cher, Joni Mitchell, Janis Joplin and who knows who else. My hair was too thick and heavy to put up, wear in a pony tail or do much else with it. After a couple of years I had it chopped off into a bob because I realized I was attracting (white) guys who had a fetish for Asian women. They weren’t really seeing me but were seeing some idealized (to them) version of what they wanted. Ugh! So yes, my personal can also be political. And I did grow out my hair past my shoulders in later years after I was married. My choice. Always my choice. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061474 Mon, 16 Sep 2019 22:58:13 +0000 Suz 2061474@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It has to feel right to the wearer. And what suits us is more about face shape, features, hair texture, and personality than gender or any other factor! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061467 Mon, 16 Sep 2019 22:24:06 +0000 Carla 2061467@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Stylefan - I’m with Mr. SF! I love styled hair. Give me dredds, braids, knots, twists, chignons, ballerina buns, beehives, ponytails, bouffants, undercuts, buzzed, retro, Boho, asymmetry, natural, unnatural, etc. I’m a big fan of men’s grooming, too! I am hair obsessed and I LOVE the diversity that occurs when people use their hair for self expression. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061462 Mon, 16 Sep 2019 21:59:39 +0000 Anonymous 2061462@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree . To me though, it's all about how you keep that hair cut, styled and maintained that makes as much of a difference as the length. &nbsp;Long, straggly, rarely-cut hair with no discernible style does nothing for anyone , and neither does a too-short cut done by an unskilled stylist. &nbsp;Regardless of what you choose, I believe you must own it and put some effort into it. Yes, I'm the hair monitor of the bunch . &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/contributing-to-the-short-hairlong-hair-debate#post-2061461 Mon, 16 Sep 2019 21:55:34 +0000 Style Fan 2061461@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with what Angie said.&nbsp; I have to feel like me. </p>