YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Continuing to pay...

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Continuing to pay... https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 20 Apr 2026 00:34:00 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php catherine on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2112889 Thu, 09 Apr 2020 16:51:12 +0000 catherine 2112889@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes, mailing a check (plus an extra 60%) to my cleaner, but not having her come over. She is in a very fragile economic situation. Sal on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2112428 Wed, 08 Apr 2020 00:48:07 +0000 Sal 2112428@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Good luck Denise!! I hope that the support comes in. Laurie on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2112081 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 20:08:57 +0000 Laurie 2112081@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Denise, hijack away. It's a good conversation. Also-I have made a lot of comments about not eating out as much when this situation eases up, but I want to reiterate that I will definitely go back to restaurants, and especially ones like yours. I'm so sorry about your situation and it's so good of you to continue to help your people as long as you can.   The stages of grief are real. CocoLion on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2110544 Tue, 31 Mar 2020 22:13:43 +0000 CocoLion 2110544@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks Suntiger and Janet... I'm hoping to qualify.  Sorry for the thread hijack Laurie.  I have days that I'm more upbeat, like "I can do this."  <div>"You got this" and the like.  But then I have these low energy days when I start wondering which stage of grief I'm in ... I know it's no longer denial (I did have those days thinking, this is just a bad dream, I'm going to wake up soon!).  It might still be anger, or maybe today it moved to depression.  Wondering what bargaining and acceptance will look like.</div> Anonymous on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2110539 Tue, 31 Mar 2020 21:57:27 +0000 Anonymous 2110539@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ditto Janet :/ I heard that they're changing unemployment now so self employed and "gig workers" can get help Denise. Hopefully that'll be the case for you! Dagmar O on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2110538 Tue, 31 Mar 2020 21:56:34 +0000 Dagmar O 2110538@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't comment often and am a fairly newly "delurked" member, but this topic hits home for me.  We employ our household help 2 days weekly and know the other families she works for.  We have decided to pay her at 50% for now, while not using her services.  As a taxpayer, it seems that she is eligible for a government subsidy (Canada) and we said we would revisit the situation when she hears back from the government on what exactly this will mean for her.  Two of the families she works for have gone to their holiday homes and are still using her services as their homes are empty and they don't mind her going into their homes.  2 other families are not using her services and not at all subsidizing her in this transition time. I also worry about my hairdresser who works a fairly limited schedule with very regular clients while also offering dance lessons to a completely separate clientele (his main interest). My nail salon is closed and I worry about my manicurist as she is a single mother with 3 girls and no other source of income.  This conversation is prompting me to reach out to her to pay her what I normally would even though I am not using her services.  We also employ gardening help and pool people and they continue to be paid as their work is not interrupted by this virus. Thank you for making me think of this! Janet on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2110528 Tue, 31 Mar 2020 21:28:13 +0000 Janet 2110528@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ugh, Denise, that’s sad that gun and ammo is “essential” but providing meals isn’t. Wishing you the best. CocoLion on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2110522 Tue, 31 Mar 2020 21:18:02 +0000 CocoLion 2110522@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Laurie, you are an angel! I have kept our housekeeper, we're in a small rural town without much contact and I have known her for 20 years.  Her husband is my chef.  My restaurant is closed.  And the bank cancelled my line of credit ($100K) over a technicality.  I have a bridge loan from a family member. I have collected all of my SBA loan forms as I'm hoping to get an economic disaster loan.  I am not looking for a grant, but if they offer one, I will gratefully accept it.  I expect to lose about $150K this year, it will take a while for tourism to come back, we will be lucky if we see visitors in 2021.  I just want my business to be able to re-open but I need a lot of capital to hibernate.  I am paying my chef every week, he is doing other work for me.  Things like, paint touch ups, and sorting through our shed.  I will pay him no matter if he works or not.  It's nowhere near what I pay him when I'm open but I am strapped myself.  My accountant told me to pay myself yesterday, so I did.  He hopes I will quality for unemployment, which owners usually don't get.  I deposited my paycheck and promptly withdrew the money to pay the restaurant plumber whom I still owe $3500. Although my housekeeper and her husband are undocumented, the chef does pay taxes using a TIN.  I submit tax forms on his behalf.  It's difficult because he doesn't have a social security number so can't get any assistance.   When this is over, I hope everyone will keep eating out.  It feels demoralizing that your life's work is deemed non-essential.  Whereas, our gun & ammo shops are doing great, because that is essential.  Sorry to get political with that one, I couldn't help it. Bijou on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109923 Mon, 30 Mar 2020 00:01:28 +0000 Bijou 2109923@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Such an important issue. We are predicting a 20% unemployment rate in Australia, the worst we have ever had in my lifetime. In my business we are looking to move our staff to working 4 day weeks, so reducing pay by 20% without reducing our workforce despite reduced income. Keeping families and our business afloat is important. Thank you to all who are able to assist others. I have not cancelled my karate subscription for lessons. My instructor is posting online at home classes, so we get to practice at home. Being there for those in need is important. kkards on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109598 Sat, 28 Mar 2020 15:06:54 +0000 kkards 2109598@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The women who cleans my house reached out to me  Friday asking when I thought I would/could schedule my next cleaning.  I’d canceled last week’s and next week would be my regular week. I could  hear her desperation In the text   Really it was heart breaking. But the last 2 weeks have me scared. honestly I’m in retail, and I’m not sure what the future will be, I've never seen anything like this.  I’m going to conserve cash for the next couple of weeks and see what happens.   Kathie on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109472 Sat, 28 Mar 2020 00:42:53 +0000 Kathie 2109472@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ We don’t have anyone clean our home, so our main expense like this is music lessons for our kids. We’ve moved those to Zoom or FaceTime, but I told the teacher that as long as DH and I are employed, we’ll continue to pay him, even if the lessons are a bit different. As I’ve written in other threads, my hair stylist is in a bit of a different situation from most. Her husband owns a disaster clean-up business, and they have real estate investments. She works very limited hours as it is, and my impression is that at this stage in her life, it’s more for the interaction with a few long-term clients than a significant portion of her income. I’ll probably do a larger tip the next time I’m able to get my hair cut, but I’m not fretting about a missed appointment. I think it’s wonderful for people to do what they can, when they can, to keep little bits of our local economies going. During the 2008 downturn, DH and I were in different types of work- funding for mine dried up, and his income fell precipitously, so we feel blessed to be able to do our little part now. Suz on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109469 Sat, 28 Mar 2020 00:17:30 +0000 Suz 2109469@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This is such an important subject and consideration, Laurie. We don't currently have a cleaner but if we did, I think I would be trying to pay something as well. My main personal appointment is for hair and I'd just had mine cut before we began serious social distancing. But I will likely reach out in a few weeks to see how things are going for her. Luckily, I know her husband is in another field that is probably pandemic-proof (at least as much as anything is!)  We are all seeing earnings and income slashed, opportunities lost -- and that is just those of us who are lucky enough to be healthy! It's so complicated.  MsMaven on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109444 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 22:45:28 +0000 MsMaven 2109444@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ We paid our housecleaners full fee for the first two weeks--in advance--that they didn't come. We talked it over and decided we will continue to pay them 3/4 of what they would earn--a lower amount because they save on gas and supplies. I think this is fair--they've been with us 19 years.  I discovered by toilet brush is missing--I know I had one when we moved here nearly 20 years ago. Enough toilet cleaner for maybe 2 weeks, but DH found some at our local store today--I bought two brushes through Amazon.  Our spa caretaker and gardeners still come--we just give them any instructions ahead of time via email. So that's okay for now.  I won't be needing my cat sitter for several months. She also teaches at a private school and all schools are closed down for now.  Let's hope it gets better soon, but projections look bad for my county. Laura (rhubarbgirl) on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109419 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 21:32:40 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 2109419@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Synne, I thought about that too - that until they invent a hair-cutting robot people will always need hairdressers. Nobody thought about a worldwide pandemic!  It'll be interesting to see if the current stimulus package proposal passes in the US how the expansion of unemployment to self-employed people and gig economy workers will go. That's definitely been a gap and a struggle for people. Janet on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109403 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 20:12:02 +0000 Janet 2109403@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ We have a similar warm relationship with the lady who cleans out house every other week — we’ve known her for 12 years, helped her family attain their green cards, and watched her son grow up (he’s in the Army now and is in touch with my husband regularly, and stopped by to visit last time he was home). I’m going to pay her about 75% of the usual for the next month as we wait to see how things go. She would be cleaning today, and she is sorely missed— especially with my stepson staying here. The house is dirtier than I would like, but I just can’t stay on top of it right now. But more importantly, she and her family are staying safe and healthy and we want to help with that as much as we can, given that our future income is changing rapidly for the worse. Laurie on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109402 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 20:10:57 +0000 Laurie 2109402@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ First - I did not bring up this topic to be in any way critical or judgmental of anyone. I'm not after praise either, but I do appreciate the really nice words Angie, Rachy, Synne, Sterling. I'm so worried - about everything every day really - I'm just trying to figure out effective help my family can give, for as long as I can as well. The thoughtful responses so far are exactly why I posted it, it's such a tough subject. Irina, really sorry to hear about your husband, and thank goodness the relief package is passing. I agree that many people who are paid in cash do not file and pay taxes. My undocumented house cleaner - who has been in the US for more than 15 years - actually does, and I know this because we tried to help her a few years ago with her thus-unsuccessful attempt to gain legal citizenship. I got curious and found a few articles including this one:  <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.vox.com/2018/4/13/17229018/undocumented-immigrants-pay-taxes">https://www.vox.com/2018/4/13/.....-pay-taxes</a> (It makes a good point that even those who don't actively pay income taxes do end up paying taxes on consumed goods and services at least). She certainly will not be eligible for any of the relief funds or unemployment payments despite paying taxes, although her children who are American citizens may qualify.  lisap - sorry you had a bad response when you cancelled your appt.. This is a little like the discussion we had around the holidays about tipping, I think. Generosity-gratitude-expectation-disappointment- judgement all swirling around, only this crisis throws in the very fraught aspect of survival, financial and physical. And I agree that first article certainly didn't fully explore the subject and highlighted some very ugly class-division.  Cardiff girl on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109398 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 19:57:39 +0000 Cardiff girl 2109398@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Good for you Laurie!I think that when this is all over there may be some reflection on various aspects of the gig economy,welfare etc.. Sal on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109387 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 19:31:45 +0000 Sal 2109387@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It is a tricky one. I have paid my cleaner at home for the four week lockdown. Our work one is in a side business where he and his wife do three buildings near to top up their jobs. I am not paying him this time. But it is tricky and sad and I agree with what Angie said. I think we will look to being more local after this. I hope we can do that in an open way not a Nationalistic suspicious way. Synne on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109381 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 18:55:51 +0000 Synne 2109381@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ How big-hearted of you! As a side note, I remember reading about how hairdressers and other beauty salons are "recession-proof". History has shown that even in the midst of economic struggles, people still care about how they look, and are willing to budget for upkeep. Now, a viral pandemic throws everything on it's head.... Here is a great article on the topic (pre-Covid19): <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2011/10/15/us/hair-salons-economy/" rel="nofollow">https://edition.cnn.com/2011/1.....s-economy/</a> Angie on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109363 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 18:13:13 +0000 Angie 2109363@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks for your uplifting note about supporting that family, Laurie.  We are doing the same with a few family businesses who we have supported for years, and will continue to without using their services for now, due to social distancing. For as long as we can, we will continue to send these businesses a cheque.  If you can afford it right now - as Rachy says - it's a blessing to those who are more needy. If you can't, you are not a bad person! Every situation and context is different. Everyone is trying to do the best they can their way. Big or small. Bill Gates is spending 100 million on a cure for COVID 19 - and others are helping the elderly do their shopping for free. EVERY thing helps. All good. The important things are to stay nice, calm, positive, supportive where you can, and don't spread fear.  As for "unnecessary expenditures" - it's very normal to feel like you don't need any of it now. I'm sure we are all feeling a bit of that, and it's good! The flip side to it all is that we keep the economy going by supporting those who rely on restaurant tip jars and the use of their services. I want to keep on supporting those people too.  Irina on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109359 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 17:57:08 +0000 Irina 2109359@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Well, I feels sorry for all people whose income has been impacted by the pandemic. My husband lost his job last week. But here is my take on it - it might not be a popular view and it is applicable only to Canada. If one worked as a self employed person and paid taxes from the income earned, then lost that income - our government is setting up an emergency fund accessible for self employed people. But I personally know people who worked from home for payments in cash, never declaring a dime. Why anyone should cover their losses? Am I wrong? Anonymous on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109352 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 16:45:59 +0000 Anonymous 2109352@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you for this post.  It is uplifting to me that there are people like you in this World.   rachylou on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109346 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 16:20:06 +0000 rachylou 2109346@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I read an interesting essay on social media... I can’t find it now... but it described our socio-economic system in the US as ‘trickledown extortion.’ It said that essentially our system is set up to channel most of the fruits of our labour into the pockets of a few. If you have a good job - a managerial level job - it’s probably, basically to maintain and advance this system... find efficiencies, do more with less, cut costs, etc etc. And I was ‘um, yes that’s true isn’t it?’ Even when you have a badly paid managerial job, that’s still true. Even when you are a business owner and just trying to stay afloat, this is true. If you can continue to pay, you will be an immense blessing. There’s something to noblesse oblige. My issue tho is that those few at the top - they’re the ones to whom noblesse oblige really applies and they’re still, even now, trying to squeeze every last dime out of everyone else. There’s a point where they’ll have taken so much, the money is worthless. Anonymous on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109340 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 15:51:31 +0000 Anonymous 2109340@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This is very difficult, and (the first article)  exposes a class divide in a rather unflattering way.  I don't know if there is a right-or-wrong answer to this situation.  I get my nails done every 3 weeks by a young(er) woman of 3 little kids who does this service in her home .  I have gone to her for years.  I cancelled my last appointment - in the manner of what I thought was only a formality, in that she wouldn't be doing nails for clients now any time soon- but the message I got back made me wonder if I had done the right thing.  I know I did - but I'm also cutting her off of income she depends on.  I suppose that this is a chain that has no end right now - my income was cut off immediately from the retailers who buy the products I sell - so I have no income to use on services I employ.  It's terrible.   Laurie on "Continuing to pay..." https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/continuing-to-pay#post-2109333 Fri, 27 Mar 2020 15:27:46 +0000 Laurie 2109333@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have housekeeping service every 2 weeks that I started when I was working full time, traveling, and had 2 little kids. Prior to hiring help, and because I was raised by a compulsive cleaner and can't stand dirty counters and floors, I'd spend a good portion of every weekend cleaning. Getting outside help bought me more quality time with my family. M. has been helping me for about 13 years. She's watched my kids grow up, I've celebrated the births of her 2 children.  I pass to her a lot of my clothes, and she loves to wear them, or share them with friends. (Honestly, sometimes I buy things thinking, this is really going to look cute on her when I'm done with it.) I've referred several clients to her over the years. We sold her our well-driven minivan after she had her recent baby, on barter. We've given her furniture. I am always so glad to help, and to pass things along to someone who needs, wants, and will use them. 4 weeks ago, she cancelled because her baby was sick. 2 weeks later...around March 10, she called to see if she could come that Thursday instead of Friday. She sounded sick (she's fine - just a bad cold), and quickly said she was going to the doctor but she'd be better by the end of the week. In the moment I agreed to the schedule change, but as the news got more urgent about social distancing etc., I texted to cancel. I expect that was just one of a dozen similar texts she was about to receive. I told her I would send her the check I'd already written 2 weeks earlier, and we would figure it out going forward. I've been thinking so much about her, and all of other undocumented, hard-working people who provide our services at nail salons, hair salons, and in our homes. How devastating this current situation is. This article in the NYT validated what had been nagging at me:  <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/25/us/coronavirus-housekeepers-nannies-domestic-undocumented-immigrants.html">https://www.nytimes.com/2020/0.....rants.html</a> I am beyond grateful that my job is intact, and I have healthcare. Personally - and because I am able - I plan to continue paying M, and I'm going to also send something to the sweet woman at the nail salon who I would have seen at least once this month. This whole situation has caused me to take a very hard look at clearly unnecessary expenditures, like eating out (particularly any place other than a local privately-owned establishment), and to consider permanent changes and ongoing redirection of discretionary funds in better ways. We could argue that hair and nail services and cleaning services are also unnecessary as we are clearly living without them now, but I expect most of us will return to them as soon as we can. Now that I'm intensely cleaning my house top to bottom again (I always keep it up, but I'm deep cleaning it now. Cue the Murphy's Oil soap for cabinet cleaning!), I appreciate and miss M more than ever.  (That article above led to this opinion piece, also interesting:  <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/20/opinion/coronavirus-domestic-workers.html?auth=login-google">https://www.nytimes.com/2020/0.....gin-google</a> )