https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 30 Apr 2026 09:34:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-821086 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 10:02:16 +0000 Scarlet 821086@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, Raisin, that is just what I mean!</p> <p>ETA: thanks for the encouragement Julie. We are going today to a breast feeding group mainly to get out among people (and hopefully people who don't give me the stink eye if my baby has the indecency to wake up and cry in public!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-820244 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 17:54:59 +0000 Astrid 820244@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for the link, Julie! You're right, these are a lot different than what I had in mind. I guess it's obvious I didn't have to deal with this yet. I agree that the decision if one wants to have children and when is very personal and hinges on many things, not only finance. It's just that I noticed that people around me (mid twenties to early thirties) who started a family already have to put up with quite a bit of negative talk from all around them. Mostly concerning their finances. Like having a child at that age means not being able to be a good parent because you won't be able to afford certain things. Or the idea that especially my female friends won't ever be able to start a career now. Of course it's not always overtly. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-820182 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 16:59:19 +0000 Raisin 820182@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Scarlet I get exactly what you mean by the baby car seat blanket thing!!! I had to Lol because I did the EXACT same thing! DS was born in May and so I did not need the car seat thingy then....too warm. And I waited because my first son outgrew the infant carseat at 5 months so I wasn't sure how long this one would be in his. Though this time around I got a seat with higher weight and height limit.</p> <p>Well anyway I ordered him the new Clek foonf convertible carseat back in October and am still waiting for it (that's a whole other story!). So I kept thinking well he'll switch to that seat soon, so no reason to get that winter thing that attaches to the infant seat. Well months went by, and no car seat, and so I used a mob of blackest like you say. Well!! We visited the in laws over Christmas and I they thought it was crazy, since the SIL has a 3 month old she does have that blanket thing. And I was like well, I was thinking the seat would be here by now, and kept getting put off week to week, it's been a crazy warm winter anyway, and my DS is very big and sweats with too much on in the cramped little seat, so why not just blankets? I mean what did we do before those nicely fit car seat things? Anyway, suffice it to say they still thought I ws nuts, but I was like well I'm not buying one now! We only run from the car to the door anyway! Blankets do just fine! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-820181 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 16:58:37 +0000 lyn* 820181@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't have a child, but my dad always tells me that if (not when) I have children, I have to be very careful I don't spoil them with too much money (as he assumes I have the means to). </p> <p>One of my good friends has a little girl, and as a single dad, he does struggle with providing her with things and time. We did an experiment on her (haha, oh, experiments) with providing TV and computer time in the family room, but offered a bunch of other things for her to do - she likes music and crafts and playing with her pets and riding her pony. We sort of lavished more "adult time" on her when she was doing things we wanted her to do more, and less when she was zonked out watching TV. She rarely chooses to watch TV and thinks my iPad is boring. </p> <p>YAY! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-820147 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 16:36:08 +0000 RoseandJoan 820147@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Raisin, I have a five year old too and yes we are also trying to teach her about budgeting, however, she is also on the autism spectrum and advertising does not appear to have the same impact on her as my youngest daughter.</p> <p>Mandipa, that is great point about children wanting to feel as though they have been considered. My youngest daughter loves to receive hand me downs from an older friend, her perception appears to be 'of all the girls in the world you have chosen to give this to me'. I also agree that this type of experiment requires infrastructure to succeed.</p> <p>Claudia, that is fascinating. I do think it easy to use technology to babysit ones children but also see the need for children to have an understanding of the said technology from an early age. My children do not have a TV in their room, an ipod or an ipad but I do encourage limited and supervised use of the computer. I imagine finding the right balance will become much harder in the future.</p> <p>Astrid, reusable nappies have come along way although you also need to factor in the additional laundry costs. <a href="http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=kooshies+nappies&#038;hl=en&#038;tbo=d&#038;rlz=1T4ADFA_enGB379GB379&#038;source=lnms&#038;tbm=isch&#038;sa=X&#038;ei=Gs72UKDtJI610QXd0YGACw&#038;ved=0CAoQ_AUoAA&#038;biw=1280&#038;bih=559" rel="nofollow">http://www.google.co.uk/search.....38;bih=559</a> When someone is ready to have a child is very subjective and finances are only one of many, many factors to consider.</p> <p>Scarlet, I actually found those first few months with Teah very isolating, I found it much easier once she was old enough to attend a mother and toddler play session (about six months), there are a lot of competitive parents who will brag of their child being potty trained at 18 months, of always sleeping through night and eating anything which is offered but the majority know that raising a child is hard and offer support and compassion when needed. It is horrible to feel judged but guilt and motherhood appear to go hand in hand in this post modern age. I think we all need to be kinder to ourselves. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-820132 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 16:24:54 +0000 Angie 820132@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>VERY interesting. </p> <p>I think it shows an incredible amount of backbone, character and discipline to NOT give into your child's material whims when you have the means. Restrictions are so much easier sans a budget. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-820042 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 15:13:13 +0000 Scarlet 820042@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not surprisingly this hit a little bit of a nerve with me. One big new baby purchase that I have forgone is a baby sleeping bag for the stroller. Instead I use several blankets and layers to keep the baby warm, but I am constantly waiting for someone to stop me and tell me I am a bad mother with my hodgepodge of mismatched blankets since everyone I see seems to have such professional well-fitted equipment. Also when I take baby Red out in the carrier I cover the carrier with a big wool shawl and maybe another blanket over that if it is very cold, since I am unable to close either my or my husband's coat over the carrier. I feel like everybody stares at me like I am the weirdest sight they have seen all day, but it seems logical enough to me. Anyway what I am trying to say is that I feel societal pressure to have the "right" equipment and it takes a little bit of courage to put up with the stares. I am also the only person I know who changes her baby on the floor because we don't have a changing table or other convenient surface. It works out okay but feels like something to hide in this day and age. Oh man. I have a lot more I could get off my chest!<br /> I'll just add that I found Claudia's report from her chlidcare worker friend pretty interesting, and scary. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-820014 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 14:50:42 +0000 Claudia 820014@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There is great peer pressure to be competitive with your children, and as a parent, for sure with all these activities. A parent doesn't want their child to be 'left behind' -- whatever that means -- in sports/culturally/intellectually . All these material things and activities can also be a substitute for actual parental involvement: the parent is there physically, providing things, organized activities, but not there emotionally, giving of real quality time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-819987 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 14:24:15 +0000 Astrid 819987@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great article! I agree with everything already said. Until I was six years old both my parents were students and didn't have much money to spare. I lived in hand-me-downs from my cousins and had fewer toys than most children my age and I don't remember ever feeling like I was lacking something. I have three younger siblings and they all wore hand-me-downs mixed in with new clothing. Of course my brother had more new things (as the first boy), but even he wore things from me because my parents dressed me in gender neutral clothing most of the time. I was a bit of a tomboy when I was little. </p> <p>Although I think reusable diapers may be a bit much... I remember the story when my mum had me and the elderly midwife at the hospital insisted my mum should use cloth diapers because the other ones would be bad for the child. ;)</p> <p>I think the most strange thing about it all is when people feel like they need to start a career before they can have children. I mean it's better to be in a financially stable situation of course, but it's not only about that for these people - they feel like they need to have quite a high income to raise a child. Which isn't true, as far as I am concerned.</p> <p>ETA<br /> Claudia, just wanted to add another point that I think is really important: the lack of unscheduled freetime you mentioned. My sister for example plays two instruments, goes climbing and plays table tennis. And that's very little in comparison to what some of her friends have on their schedule. And it already starts with all the other things parents feel the obligation to do with their very little children! Maybe because they feel like these things are necessary to be a good parent. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-819964 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 14:03:39 +0000 Claudia 819964@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My best friend has been a kindergarten teacher for the last 20 years at a private school in an affluent suburb. She and her fellow teachers both in the private and public schools all have noticed a significant change in the average child over recent years. While intelligent, they have seen an increase to the point where the majority of children can't initiate things or begin projects on their own, lack an ability or even an interest in being creative, fleeting attention spans, are easily frustrated with making a mistake in a school setting, and have lower social IQs along with the empathy that goes with it. </p> <p>She and her colleagues blame it in part on the culture of mass consumerism with all the stuff, especially the electronics: video games, TV, computers, cell phones, iPads and such. And the usually immediate gratification of wants given to many kids today. At the start of each school year my friend takes a poll and asks the children to raise their hands if they have a TV in their room, videos in the car, a laptop or computer, an iPad, and is still surprised by all the affirmative answers. They feel it is changing the development of kid's brains, and how they learn, in ways we haven't even begun to understand. Along with the lack of physical activity and playing outdoors with friends and unscheduled free time without access to all the "stuff" that negates a need for creative imagining and play, and children learning to sort things out among themselves as part of their social development. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-819906 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 13:06:41 +0000 ManidipaM 819906@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have to agree with Raisin's point about teaching children to handle money as soon as they're able to count reliably. First it teaches math skills like nobody's business (of course with supervision, in case someone decides to take advantage!) and then it teaches cleverer ways of navigating a consumption-directed world.</p> <p>But the blogger's basic point is spot on. Just yesterday, out buying onesies for our baby, my SO asked: 'But what will it go with? Won't the patterned diapers clash...' Answer: 'The baby likely won't care, not while it's still in newborn sizes!' </p> <p>A corollary though, about those hand-me-downs: Kids like to feel like they're one of a kind. Our niece (past 10) had a mini meltdown the other day about a mug that was gifted to her little brother --- it's not like she cares about having yet another mug, of course (how silly of grandma to think so!); she just envied the fact that the baby's had his photo on it, which meant someone had gone to the trouble of spending time snapping them and personalizing his gift. She just wanted the same attention and recognition of herself as a 'special person'; she'd only been 'handed down' the grown-ups mugs. Since most children do get into social situations where comparisons are inevitably made between siblings or peers about what they have and what they 'get', it's best for parents to be prepared for this potential minefield of a conversation --- earlier the better --- and make sure the child ALONE is not singled out for the anti-consumerism drive. If you're not buying for the baby, better show some restraint among the grown-ups and older children likewise!</p> <p>Also, the more extreme forms of anti-consumerism (not buying a. single. thing!) do seem to need state and societal support to 'provide' for the child's needs. What happens if you say you won't buy toys/books/clothes but have no public library or generous friends/family and freecycle, nor an older sibling's hand-me-downs? Not sure this is so much an anti-consumer message as a frugal one, with a side order of sharing privilege. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-819873 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 11:33:25 +0000 Raisin 819873@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think she makes some very good points. There is very little that babies in particular need and there are just endless options to buy for them. But I do think there are VERY important lessons to be learned by actually spending some money WITH your kids.</p> <p>I have a 5 yr old and 8 mnth old. Now of course the baby is too young, but he doesn't need much and we have learned this time around to not buy every baby gadget out there, and minimal baby clothes (which I think is what the article is getting at). For older kids though, I think they actually need to be in the process of buying. I actually give my son $5 per week (he does a few odd chores, stuff he's supposed to do), but it's mostly so he can learn to manage money. He knows that he only has so much money, he MUST save some, and if there's something he really wants he has to save for it. It's a really great way to show them money is not endless, and to only buy what is important to you. He will often consider an object now and say "Nah, that's a waste of money!". Of course, we still buy things for him, but I think the lessons there are priceless. And of course he's learning to save, because he must put some of that money aside, so he already has $100 saved in a jar, ready to go open a bank account with. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/consumerism-and-parenting#post-819861 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 10:44:16 +0000 RoseandJoan 819861@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I found this article very thought provoking this morning<br /> <a href="http://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/why-won-t-spending-penny-203418996.html" rel="nofollow">http://uk.finance.yahoo.com/ne.....18996.html</a><br /> and thought I would share.</p> <p>What do you think of this bloggers idea? </p>