https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 08 Apr 2026 23:35:18 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253690 Wed, 02 Mar 2022 08:01:08 +0000 Sally 2253690@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mine would look like that if I hadn't purged regularly.&nbsp; I have shopped a lot over the years mainly because of size fluctuations and then I put stuff away then find it and hold on to it.&nbsp; I also thrift shopped so I don't feel that guilty about it because i was creating a mini-economy recycling through the op shops when they came from thrift shops originally.&nbsp; I also bought new.&nbsp; I feel like my style changes regularly and I have enjoyed the changes so I think of it as a hobby.&nbsp; Don't a lot of people spend money and time on boats and other hobbies without feeling guilty.&nbsp; When it starts to feel overwhelming though that is a problem and decluttering is important at that time.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253603 Tue, 01 Mar 2022 19:40:11 +0000 LaPed 2253603@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, good work! Acknowledging the problem is half the battle.&nbsp;I have no good solutions for clutter, beyond embracing cluttercore, lol. Which is probably more work to do well than just being an all-out minimalist but I don't have the heart to get rid of everything while my kid is still a kid. On top of that I'm a bit of a skeptic when it comes to buying organizational devices (bins/racks/etc) because it's all just more stuff, and like SarahD8 says, are we just enabling a different kind of shopping rather than solving the problem? I did finally move all my boxes of papers into a filing cabinet -- that was an upgrade, for sure!&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>I do think the decluttering mindset can easily slip into a churning mindset; there's always more stuff to tempt you, no matter how much you get rid of. I'm pretty good at removing things -- even perfectly good things -- just because there's some little not-quite-right aspect to it. "Well I like navy blue, but this isn't the right navy blue," etc. My goal for the year is to get better about truly wearing things out before getting rid of them. I'd like to figure out how to curb my replace/upgrade impulse.</p> <p>And you're right that a four-season climate with year-round precipitation usually means a larger wardrobe, especially footwear and outerwear. I definitely need more clothes for New England weather than I did for the Desert Southwest or the Pacific Northwest. There's no bad weather -- as long as you have the right clothes! So the more types of weather you have, the more clothes you end up with. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253551 Tue, 01 Mar 2022 12:20:03 +0000 Synne 2253551@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Loving the replies! Will try to comment individually when life permits...</p> <p>I think I need to have a larger wardrobe, including many shoes, because of my four season climate (which frankly is mostly wet. And cold. Yay.). But not THIS large. </p> <p>I am in somewhat of a decluttering phase now. What do I need all this stuff for... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253540 Tue, 01 Mar 2022 10:24:55 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2253540@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>We’re counting shoes now? I think 15-20 is a good range. It doesn’t feel like I have that many, but I do—red, white, black, blue &amp; brown boots, a few pairs of sandals, some pumps that never get worn, 2x gym shoes…. Big accumulation phase last year, but I’m basically done now (except for some particular things I’m keeping my eyes open for). Any more &amp; I’d feel decadent (not in a good way). DS thinks I have too many already, but I think this is about right. Finds are shoe goofs I’ve made since moving to Berlin. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253539 Tue, 01 Mar 2022 09:48:10 +0000 Zaeobi 2253539@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's ok to have a lot at times - whilst I've shopped a lot these past few years, I barely shopped at all a few years pre-2015 (I made up for it when I dragged a friend to a Goodwill for a few hours on my last USA trip, lol!) I realised that was because my silhouettes, colours &amp; preferences just weren't in stores (even secondhand, I was mostly finding stuff in manmade fibres etc).</p> <p>I wish certain members of my family knew that definition of clutter, lol! I'd say anything that gets in the way of your life counts as clutter. Make a list of what you're aiming for, then take it on just a little at a time - I ended up with 5 big bin bags for donation when I moved to our new place, so please don't be ashamed - if I can accumulate that much clothing in just a few years, it's ok when you have a house! (I assume you're in a house, not a flat?) </p> <p>PS - I had 16 pairs of shoes but have since whittled it down a bit because our winters are mild. But that sounds about right for<br /> a climate with true, 4 seasons. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253483 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 21:53:12 +0000 Sal 2253483@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting post.&nbsp; And thanks for sharing.</p> <p>I agree that shoes can make the difference - for me 15-20 pairs feels spot on.&nbsp; But with working from home, the pandemic etc I haven't really worn shoes out compared to normal.&nbsp; I suspect in a cold climate that slippers and snow boots get ALL the wear in winter so other shoes don't get much chance.</p> <p>I think on the forum we can be tempted to try and dress like other forum members whose style we like - and sometimes this can lead us in the wrong direction.&nbsp; You have great style and sometimes we have to experiment to find our true sense of how we want to look. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253467 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 17:25:47 +0000 Sisi 2253467@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, if you got rid of all those bags you have already made a big step forward. And you seem to have learnt a lot. Give yourself a pat on the back!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253451 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 15:01:29 +0000 Angie 2253451@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree this with <b>Suz </b>- this was a perfect storm!</p> <p><b>Synne,</b>&nbsp;this paragraph makes a LOT sense and cuts to the chase:</p> <p><i>"But has it really made any impact to my style? Yes and no. I think I needed to go through so much shopping and clothes (thankfully not budget breaking, since alot has been thrifted, but still money spent...), I needed to go through this to learn. I think I am wiser now to what suits me. What I actually wear. What I feel good wearing"<br /></i><br />You needed to go through this to get to where you are. LOOK at how much you learned! Style is a journey, and you are having an interesting and rewarding ride. Rest assured that most of us have had to deal with ample clutter. It's part of life, and you are making great progress :)</p> <p>On top of this, you have two very young kids at home, and COVID. I say you've found the wood through the trees. Well done!&nbsp;</p> <p>Now you know much more, and can plan accordingly. You can continue to successfully de-clutter, and make the neat and organized storage spaces the size of your wardrobe.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253449 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 13:50:45 +0000 RobinF 2253449@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can relate to a lot of what you and everyone else says here.&nbsp;</p> <p>The buying makes sense when you are trying to find your style but can become an issue if it continues and takes up too much space, but of course all of that is based on personally what we can and want to handle. I'm still trying to figure out what I like, taking way too long :)</p> <p>I agree that shoes are key - at least for me. If my shoes feel fabulous then chances are I do too, and vice versa.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253439 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 12:29:17 +0000 Anonymous 2253439@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>-same </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253438 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 12:28:39 +0000 Anonymous 2253438@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Don’t be embarrassed, I’ve had the sam room and actually donated a frickton of it but realistically still have more than I need.</p> <p>I definitely have stopped (finally) purchasing for a fantasy life. I also love really ott funky combos on other people but have realized on myself (finally) I feel better in just one really funky element.</p> <p>I like the whole wear what suits you with intentionality and anything goes if it makes you happy … so I am rewiring my brain to not categorize in terms of dated or trends and just think of authenticity and appreciation for/comfort in. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253437 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 12:23:40 +0000 Bijou 2253437@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can totally relate to this in so many ways - it does take time to find our styles. As for the shoes, you have hit upon a great workable option. I know with pregnancy my feet changed and most of my shoes from before pregnancy had to be ditched. It is hard to let go of so much that is not worn out. Donating nice items to places like 'Dressed for Success' means that your gently used items will really help someone in need.</p> <p>Synne, you inspired me to clean out my make-up drawer. I was nice and ruthless and feel much happier with my selection. Now I need to move onto other sections of my wardrobe and footwear. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253417 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 05:28:54 +0000 SarahD8 2253417@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, yes. I have been there too with experimenting and overbuying secondhand stuff. Maybe I still am?</p> <p>I echo what Jules says about establishing the right amount of storage and then sticking to it. That has really helped me -- I sort of know what fits in the storage space that I have and I'm aware that I really can't wear much more than what can be contained in that space. For me deliberately designing the storage space (sounds so fancy but it's just a pax wardrobe lol) was also really helpful - it's customized to the types of clothes I wear etc and somehow the makeshift storage solutions I had in the past facilitated "hiding" purchases in the chaos and the like...nothing really fit properly in the space so why not cram a few more things in, you know? Except hmmm, now I've just enabled a different kind of purchase perhaps. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253415 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 05:05:59 +0000 Suz 2253415@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it was a perfect storm. Many of us arrive at YLF in a accumulating phase. We're changing our style, developing a style for the first time, we have a bunch of new roles we need to dress for, etc. So we experiment and try a lot of stuff and then, after trying it out we end up not wanting a lot of it. Such is life. Agreed, it would be better for the planet if we didn't waste, but if you bought most on thrift or consignment then you didn't really contribute to a problem.&nbsp;</p> <p>Like you, I bought a LOT (mostly discount and thrift) in my first few years and then promptly ruled out quite a bit of it. But I was learning in the process what worked for me and what didn't. And why.&nbsp;</p> <p>Some of that learning would have be stalled or even halted by Covid. So I think you should give yourself a bit of a break on that score. It is hard to learn about what you like to wear when you barely have any reason to get dressed!&nbsp;</p> <p>And I think a lot of us were blindsided by the whole thing -- we kept buying as IF our worlds might return to what they were but then, for two whole years, we hardly went out at all. No wonder our shoes didn't wear out!&nbsp;</p> <p>All of that aside, you'll feel better when you clear the clutter and it sounds like you've really made some insightful discoveries about your style preferences.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253414 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 04:47:15 +0000 Anonymous 2253414@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with you about having trendy shoes, but I am choosy about the trends. I am on Team Dressy and my favorite shoes have sparkle. &nbsp;The area I live in I see boots all year and worn with everything. &nbsp;<div>A habit of buying clothes can be hard to break. &nbsp;I found this out after I lost a bunch of weight and needed to replace everything, even shoes. &nbsp;I didn’t want to stop buying. &nbsp;It helped to buy for a charity or even gifts for others. &nbsp;It helps to get them out of the house as quickly as possible.<br />it also helps to shop with a list but to be picky and not settle. &nbsp;It also helps to figure out what is enough and not buy more. &nbsp;The Do Not Buy list is important.</div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253413 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 04:36:44 +0000 Jessikams 2253413@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’ve gone through some phases of buying a lot too, in the past. Part of it is just investigating and learning— and sometimes some emotional thing is going on. Then I move into a phase of no-shopping, just wearing everything out as much as I can. And I realize how very little I actually need! It’s always a process, I guess. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253410 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 02:40:08 +0000 Carla 2253410@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What Jaime said about ballet flats…and apparently rubberized boots and shoes are on trend &nbsp;I say wear all the fun shoes while you can! &nbsp;I don’t wish fussy feet on anyone, but have to admit that it’s ‘a thing’ as you get older. &nbsp;I’ve ruled out entire categories of footwear due to issues with my feet :-(</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253407 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 02:23:06 +0000 Anonymous 2253407@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yay to all this! I think shoes are a good thing to keep trendy, as they wear out by the time they're no longer current. Working theory anyway...</p> <p>If it makes you feel better, my garage is much worse atm (mom's/fil's stuff mostly). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253403 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 01:56:48 +0000 Jaime 2253403@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Those bags remind me of the early days of my return to thrifting. Everything was so cheap and nobody (but me!) knew anything so I could literally bring home that much stuff in the space of a few weeks. Eventually I got better at selecting, prices went up, and I learned to divide my purchases into for my closet and for resale. But it was and is a process.<br />Anyway, I like your resolutions. No. 1 is near to my heart. Yes, shoes are outfit maker and breakers! Not to cause trouble, but ballet shoes are supposedly coming back, and those blue sandals are a great color, but you can't wear what you can't see and I totally agree that a couple of current pairs a season can be the most stylish choice.<br />I also relate to your realization about color and Kibbe. That is a whole topic of its own, for another time.<br />Just remember, cleaning clutter is a great thing, but accumulating clutter is not a reason to beat yourself up. There are so many worse things, I am sad to say.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253401 Mon, 28 Feb 2022 00:12:47 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2253401@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi there! Thanks for the shoutout—I think. You know, if I could get my whole wardrobe in one place (it’s nearly all here, but half is in the cellar), it might look like that room. I should look into that book. My desk &amp; papers are terrible. </p> <p>Your suggestion that maybe you needed to try on (maybe literally) so many styles makes sense. You have put so much work into figuring this out, with the colors and the Kibbe. Now you can get rid of the rest, yahoo! </p> <p>The conclusions you list really do sound right for you. Those blue slides make me giggle—can’t picture an outfit you’d wear with them. But nobody rocks a pair of rubber boots like you do. You might just be getting down to it, below the accumulated misfires, but you’ve absolutely got style, and it is fun watching you come into your own! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253397 Sun, 27 Feb 2022 21:49:09 +0000 rachylou 2253397@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lol, that’s my wardrobe now after a decade of winnowing—I’m still holding on to everything you’re giving away! </p> <p>I think it’s rather hard not to acquire when you’re experimenting - and if you love a good fad/trend like I do. My favourite quote from my friend the experimental physicist (there’s a bit of rivalry there between experimentalists and theorists): in theory, practice is just like theory; in practice, it’s not. I’ve finally stopped buying and buying, but how long have I been here? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253396 Sun, 27 Feb 2022 21:42:15 +0000 Jules 2253396@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can relate to a lot of this! I feel like I was in a ‘buying’ stage for several years, then my need for clothes took a total Covid dive, leaving me with an unneeded abundance. I haven’t bought much since but the donation bags somehow fill themselves up regularly (and yet I still haven’t done the major closet review I know is needed ‘post’ pandemic). I also have limited storage so it does become very clear when I’ve exceeded the limits. Clutter, as you say. I also have items that were perfect for eg. summer 2020 but saw very little wear, which is ok except for I clearly can’t continue to buy and keep the ‘perfect’ shoe every season if I’m not wearing anything out (in both senses I guess, lol) - I simply don’t have the room. I’m now purging things in nearly new condition that were never quite right and lost their window of potential due to Covid. Realistically I will never miss them, but all this tells me I’m buying too much. And a lot of it is footwear (just easier and more fun for me due to fit/body issues). </p> <p>Have you considered one in/one out? Once we finally figured out reasonable clothing storage in our smallish city home (which required renovating to get another closet and finally finding the right dressers in a Goldilocks kinda way), I truly do feel like I have the ‘right’ amount of storage space (something Marie Kondo talks about - that the amount of space you have is enough for the things you need - it’s obviously subjective as people have very different spaces and wants, but I knew it when I felt it). So it’s sometimes useful when contemplating a purchase to go look at what I have in that category and see if there is anything I would happily swap out for the new purchase. The assumption is that there’s no room for anything new so something has to go. I used to think this would lead to an unacceptable (for me) level of purging perfectly decent items, but I’ve found it more likely leads to realizing I don’t need the new item, without feeling deprived but more likely satisfaction that I already have good options. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/confessions-of-a-shopoholic-long-and-rambling#post-2253394 Sun, 27 Feb 2022 20:35:15 +0000 Synne 2253394@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am starting this thread to share some thoughts, some new insights, or I don't know what. I need to articulate where I am coming from, "style wise", but most importantly where (I think) I am headed. Do join in with any feedback, reflections or share your own journey if you feel like it! Please do, I am always wiser and more inspired by the style-savvy hive mind here. </p> <p>It's been four years since I signed up to this fab forum. When I did, I was so clueless about my personal style and direction, but most importantly: I had the AWARENESS that I in fact was clueless. A very important first step to any change. </p> <p>I was also quite the shopoholic. I have bought SO MANY clothes these last four years. I am not blaming the forum, at all, because this is not what Angie advocates regarding shopping, quite the contrary, and there are so many great examples here of LITERALLY timeless (spanning eons. Hi Fash!) and well curated wardrobes here. </p> <p>Anyway, I have been drowning my self and my family in clothes. There has been so much that more than one room in our house has been uninhabitable. I am working on removing the excess CLUTTER. And yes, my clothes have been clutter. I was so distraught by learning that clothes can be clutter. Honestly, I didn't know!? Tripping over piles on the floor didn't wake me up, but reading about it (especially over at the blog A Slob Comes Clean), that anything that spills out of cabinets and onto the floor are per definition... clutter.. Yep, I get it now. Anyway, I am working hard on eliminatiing clutter and curbing my very bad spending habits. </p> <p>But has it really made any impact to my style? Yes and no. I think I needed to go through so much shopping and clothes (thankfully not budget breaking, since alot has been thrifted, but still money spent...), I needed to go through this to learn. I think I am wiser now to what suits me. What I actually wear. What I feel good wearing. </p> <p>Some key takeaways for me personally: </p> <p>- footwear is important. And by that I mean it is important to me that footwear is current-looking. I feel I can get away with wearing almost anything as long as the footwear is sort of trendy. Then to me the outfit looks intentional. Like I know what I'm doing. And in reverse, when the footwear looks dated, everything else I am wearing also feels dated (sigh, ballet flats). So my plan the last seasons has been to only invest in one or a few current pair of shoes. But the caveat has been that I don't have the time to even wear them out before they are out of trend again? Looking at you Japanese Toilet Slippers! The perfect shape and colour. But suddenly looking very... summer 2020? </p> <p>- sticking to a colour palette is key. For me that has been following the 12- seasonal palette (soft summer for me). When I do this I know I will look good in it, and everything magically goes with everything. I don't even have to try, it just manifests! </p> <p>- jeans and tees are perfectly okay. I don't need any (more) blazers or blouses. I don't wear them and I don't feel any prettier in them vs. a regular sturdy pair of jeans. </p> <p>- the reason for the latter actually has a scientific explanation. Or should I say "scientific". This is where the Kibbe system theory comes in, and for me this makes a lot of sense. I am a Kibbe Natural, and according to this theory I look as costumey and stiff in blazers and overly tailored garments as I feel. I shouldn't fight this, regardless of how attracted I am to classic and preppy dressing. It's not for me, simple as that. </p> <p>- I can appreciate pretty things on others, and enjoy window shopping (browsing online) without needing to actually own the pieces my self. It ends up as clutter, remember!?</p> <p>Yeah. This is where I am at now. Adding an EXTREMELY embarrassing photo of a horribly cluttered room in my house. So. Many. Clothes. I donated almost everything. Here's to a better 2022, and hopefully more joyful and clutterless dressing! (And living!) </p>