https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 07:09:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type/page/2#post-1089457 Mon, 18 Nov 2013 21:35:28 +0000 Anonymous 1089457@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's just rude. I agree that "bless your heart" covers just about everything, but in this case, I'd be tempted to say, "It's none of your business." To be mannerly and considerate, however, I think I'd just say something like, "Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, ya know."</p> <p>I suffered for years with what appeared to be acne, and many women I knew would comment on what they thought I should do about it. It turned out to be rosacea, and none of the advice they gave me would have worked to treat that, so...</p> <p>All I remember was how they made me feel... bad.</p> <p>Keep your chin up and keep smiling! People who make comments like that are ignorant. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type/page/2#post-1089190 Mon, 18 Nov 2013 18:39:02 +0000 rachylou 1089190@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh hahaha! I'm a type 1 diabetic. You should hear what people say to me. Things like, *Oh, you shouldn't eat.* And they do stuff, like try to take away the table sugar. And they ask questions like how many shots I take a day, as if this will tell them how much in control I am. It would be offensive, except it's reached such a critical mass that it's hysterically hilarious.</p> <p>People never realise that they don't know what they don't know. These people who commented know you, know something is different, and think they have enough of a view into things to determine what is what. Of course, the human condition is such that we have to make decisions with the information we have - so in a way it's a catch 22.</p> <p>I would tell them straight up that you're the same weight and have had a mastectomy. For one, it would be hysterically funny. But two, you know, it's a good thing to help people out. Because they pull that stunt with the wrong person, and they'll get thrashed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type/page/2#post-1088460 Mon, 18 Nov 2013 00:07:53 +0000 Beth Ann 1088460@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As a woman on the other side of the weight bell-curve, I wanted to chime in and say that I've&nbsp; found your WIW posts inspiring and encouraging.&nbsp; How wonderful to see women with all types of bodies looking great, living strong and loving life.</p> <p>So sorry for the insensitivity around you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type/page/2#post-1088457 Mon, 18 Nov 2013 00:06:37 +0000 ironkurtin 1088457@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh! Another Miss Mannerism: "I don't discuss that." Repeat as often as needed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type/page/2#post-1088440 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 23:44:36 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 1088440@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><i>"These are acquaintances and work colleagues who I see on a semi-regular basis, so I have to keep things nice."</i></p> <p>Yes, you do, and yet...&nbsp; this wasn't nice for <u>you</u>. &nbsp; In fact, reading your post made me boil, on your behalf. &nbsp; People can be so very rude sometimes. </p> <p>I usually handle insensitive remarks with humor, with a bit of a sarcastic bite and just enough truth to chase them off and prevent further comments.&nbsp;&nbsp; But, like you, I also like to keep much of my private life, private.</p> <p>I think that if I were in your shoes, I would smile pleasantly, look them in the eye, and say "How very rude of you."&nbsp; Then I would stare them down and let them stumble out excuses, and if they didn't slink away first, I would quietly walk away. &nbsp; And I would remain polite and smiling and very professional after that, but with a bit of chilly distance. &nbsp; Someone who is genuinely interested in you and your well-being, will find you later, and apologize, or find other things to converse about.</p> <p>But I don't know how close you are to the commenters, or what your work climate is really like.</p> <p>I really LOVE the "buy me lunch" suggestion, and the "Bless your heart" suggestion. &nbsp; &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type/page/2#post-1088309 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 20:58:35 +0000 bella 1088309@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>People are stupid. Big hugs to you!!!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type/page/2#post-1088262 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 19:38:09 +0000 Angie 1088262@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(((HUGS))). I'm sorry, Sharon. People can be most insensitive. Try not to think about it, and continue blessing the fact that your body is rid of cancer. Come here and we'll tell you, you&nbsp;look incredible. xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type/page/2#post-1088251 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 19:27:53 +0000 Mander 1088251@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>People can be really stupid about weight and body shape.&nbsp; I'm not much<br /> of a fan of the "real women have curves" thing either.&nbsp; Real women are<br /> living human beings who identify themselves as female, IMHO.</p> <p>I don't know if it is just a recent thing, but people certainly seem to feel entitled to comment on other peoples' bodies, no matter what aspect of it they don't like.&nbsp; I'm coming at it from a fat girl's perspective, granted, but I have heard many stories from large people who have been told they are too fat and should lose weight, usually couched in terms of "it's for your own good", and almost always accompanied by unsolicited diet advice.&nbsp; Ugh.</p> <p>I never have the presence of mind to say it, but perhaps responding with something like "I'm not comfortable discussing my appearance with you" or "I don't want to talk about my body size with you" might help.&nbsp; You will probably have to say it over and over again before some people get it.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type/page/2#post-1088154 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 17:27:11 +0000 lyn* 1088154@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have been using, "I'm truly sorry you feel that way." when I'm really angry. Because I am. I am sorry they are narrow minded freaks. I just don't say that part. It works really well on the phone with unreasonable colleagues. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type/page/2#post-1088151 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 17:22:27 +0000 DeniseP 1088151@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>People seem to be more rude, insensitive and bold in today's society than ever before. They just don't know how to behave socially, and keep their trap shut.<br /> Yes, sometimes I want to come back at them with sarcasm --since that's all they know-- but that's stooping to their standard. </p> <p>How does this reply sound: "it's none of my business what you think of me..."<br /> (Is it ugly?) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type/page/2#post-1088142 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 17:15:05 +0000 Anonymous 1088142@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I figure I will always be "too something" , so I am really working on trying not to let people's opinions affect me as much as they apparently do. As far as motivations, who knows? I must confess that the explanation that I never go into is the quissentenial jealousy speech. Ack, one cannot really assume that if someone makes a comment is because they are jealous. Believe it or not, there are women out there, who prefer to not be skinny. Most stupid comments are usually motivated by said stupidity. Sending a hug XO. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type/page/2#post-1088083 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 16:22:53 +0000 Kristin L 1088083@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@IK - "Bless your heart" is great cover for almost everything.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1088059 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 16:04:27 +0000 ironkurtin 1088059@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I default to Miss Manners when I can. "Well, bless your heart" is something I hear a lot in Southern states. It has an unspoken "you idiot" after it, but you say it sweetly. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1088056 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 16:03:21 +0000 Elly 1088056@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sorry to hear this. I often get after my mother for being very critical of other women's bodies (although not to their faces) and particularly talking about how thin or heavy women are . . . she has struggled with her own weight for ages and seems to judge thin women especially harshly. However, I also know that she has been treated unkindly for her weight, which is largely because of a medical problem--- she teaches school and one fellow teacher in particular is always talking about what a bad influence overweight teachers are on students, amongst other things. I know for my mother it is because she feels self-concious and her snarkiness is more about her than anyone else.</p> <p>I studied humans in college, so I'm likely to notice differences in form, but I would never point them out, nor do I think that they somehow impact someone's value as a person. </p> <p>As far as men go, IDK why they think they have the right to comment on women's bodies. I think a lot of them aren't sensitive about their own bodies or pretend not to be that they just don't get that it hurts, and some are just jerks and society says that that is ok. </p> <p>I've had some serious health problems and at have occasionally gained a little weight (I have heart issues and even when I don't gain a pound, when my heart function isn't as good as it should be I collect fluid in my torso and swell and can gain 15 pounds overnight) and have had my ex make comments about me letting myself go (while we were still dating) because I was so uncomfortably swollen I couldn't stand to wear a real waistband. I also often get comments about being "big" even though I am fairly proportionate because I am fairly tall with long arms and legs and broad shoulders. Everyone wants to hear that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1088015 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 15:25:38 +0000 Kristin L 1088015@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so sorry Shannon. I'm sending you big hugs.&nbsp;</p> <p>I remember my friends in high school constantly telling me I was "too thin". Even on of the upperclassmen in my band section made the comment that "her legs are too $%^&amp; long for her own good".&nbsp;Then, after my first year of college, I was at home when my mom and brother had a bunch of people over from marching band. All of the moms there were women who had watch me grow up in high school and one looked over at me when I was looking for something in the fridge and told me that I finally looked healthy because I had gained the Freshman 15. Needless to say, I shut the fridge door and when back to my room.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087991 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 14:55:12 +0000 Janet 1087991@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so flabbergasted at people's rudeness! I like MaryK and Glory's responses. But I also know that in the moment, you're usually too shocked to muster any kind of response other than an incredulous stare. </p> <p>I do agree that there seems to be more cultural tolerance for people commenting on thinness than heaviness. "Oh my gosh, look how tiny you are!" is often construed as some sort of compliment, and I do think it often comes about because of envy from someone who struggles with their weight. </p> <p>A few years ago, I was present when my husband's ex-wife saw one of my husband's friends for the first time in 15 years or so, and she said to him, "Wow, you got fat!" I saw from the expression on his face that he was biting his tongue not to say, "Wow, you did too!" </p> <p>When will people learn that it is NEVER a good idea to comment on these kinds of things? Probably only when others call them out on it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087964 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 14:21:47 +0000 MuseumGal 1087964@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so sorry that you have to deal with such jerkfaces.&nbsp; How about killing them with kindness.&nbsp; A reply like "How kind of you to point that out," works in almost any awkward situation. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087902 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 12:34:21 +0000 Irene 1087902@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a very, very naturally thin friend and she has heard the 'real women have curves' phrase too many times, said right in front of her. Honestly, most of the time is out of envy because she looks naturally thin and hot and can eat whatever she wants, and many other women can't do that so they resent her. </p> <p>*I* get the 'you look too thin' or 'you lost too much weight' comments fairly often, only by people who are close to me though (not colleagues or acquaintances). I still wonder if they would tell me 'You've gained too much weight' or 'you look too fat' if that were the case though. I guess it's socially acceptable to comment on someone's weight loss while it's not considered nice to point out at weight gain. I have to admit that I have done so myself, although I'm changing my perception and trying to not comment on that. </p> <p>Now, people commenting on you not having curves, or on Lyn* having too short legs (excuse me?) I truly do not understand. At all. Especially coming from acquaintances. Why in the world would you say something like that? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087880 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 09:29:55 +0000 CocoLion 1087880@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>People do stick their foot in their mouths don't they. &nbsp;I hope it's not causing you too much distress. &nbsp;Maybe, take pity on them? Maybe&nbsp;they just can't help it. &nbsp;Or, they are coming from a place of concern (I used to get "you need to put some meat on those bones" all the time from men -- not now, I'm heavier). &nbsp;Or, they are envious. &nbsp;For whatever reason, it is socially acceptable to call it out when people are thin or tall. &nbsp;Just like it's ok to call out someone for being rich. &nbsp;It is less ok to tease someone about being short. &nbsp;But it is completely taboo to joke about someone being fat. &nbsp;Or poor. &nbsp;Go figure, makes no sense but it is this way. &nbsp;If you are in possession of the jewels (thin, tall, rich) then it's assumed you can take it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087874 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 08:41:24 +0000 Neel 1087874@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shockingly rude and idiotic. &nbsp;They must have sand and stones for brains! &nbsp;How do they live with themselves?! &nbsp;Argh .... I am so annoyed for you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087862 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 07:31:50 +0000 soobee 1087862@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My standard reply to unwarranted personal&nbsp;comments is "Tell me again how it's any of your business?".&nbsp; Depending on the situation and severity of the comment, there may or not be a rude word in there also </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087825 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 05:26:04 +0000 catgirl 1087825@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am speechless. I have a friend with a debilitating neuro illness who has lost weight to the point of having to be intubated, and people who know this still will say idiotic things like "at least you can eat whatever you want!" or "I wish I had your problem." Unbearable.</p> <p>Ignore them with a vengeance.. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087820 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 05:21:39 +0000 Echo 1087820@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow. Just wow. I am always astounded at how people so naturally believe that women's bodies are open for public critique. Comments regarding weight or body shape, regardless of the reasons for those comments, are completely out-of-bounds - especially for a colleague. Completely unprofessional; harassment, actually. I am so sorry people felt compelled to comment on something that is none of their business.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087812 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 05:03:25 +0000 Adelfa 1087812@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One of my DDs is very thin and she gets that. People don't realize that they are basically saying "I am scrutinizing your body right now and passing judgment" which of course is awful. Today at a party some woman who was a stranger to me said she worked with my ex-husband and remembers when I came to the office with my girls (25 years ago when they were toddlers) and asked if my girls still see their father. It was very disappointing. But thankfully most people aren't like that :-/ </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087771 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 04:06:00 +0000 Sveta 1087771@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Some people just don't have social skills - this is how I would treat those comments. I have no idea how I would answer in this situation, I think it would depend on the person and our relationships. I quess I would give them "The Look" and maybe come up with some sarcastic reply which would make them think next time when they open their mouth.:-)<br />As for your friend: I am very tall and I get those comments as well. They we very offensive to me when I was young and very sensitive about being much taller than most of other people but now I treat them differently: I take them as admiration and envy. They may be not but hey, this is my attitude!:-) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087766 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 04:00:13 +0000 amiable 1087766@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs Sharon - that breaks my heart for you! &nbsp;Unbelievably rude! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087751 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 03:39:56 +0000 FlorenceFearne 1087751@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If it happens again, how about, "Well, if you ever want to help me with that problem, you're welcome to buy me lunch anytime. You know where to find me!" said with a smile. It kind of points out the ridiculousness of the comment (like what, you don't eat?) in a lighthearted way, and might even net you a free sandwich or pie or something.&nbsp;:D </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087749 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 03:39:48 +0000 Gigi 1087749@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't have a comeback, but I want you to know that you're not alone. I get this too. I have lost a lot of weight to health problems over the past several years and am unable to gain it back. I just usually smile wanly and say, "Yes, I am" and then move on. I agree with the other posters that since it is socially acceptable to be thin, people feel like they can say these things. They don't realize how offensive it is. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087743 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 03:34:36 +0000 Carla 1087743@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This kind of insensitive rudeness floors me. In the moment, it is hard to come up with a comeback, witty or otherwise. Let's just hope you never, ever need one, ever again. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/comments-about-body-type#post-1087721 Sun, 17 Nov 2013 03:14:37 +0000 Suz 1087721@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ugh. Sometimes you just have to wonder where people get their manners. I am sorry you had to endure this. That is one reason that I do not care for the whole "real women have curves" thing. We are <b>all </b>real women, all shapes and sizes.&nbsp;</p>