https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 19 Apr 2026 13:49:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate/page/2#post-157968 Tue, 18 May 2010 04:04:01 +0000 yublocka 157968@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Haha Maya you crack me up. Green and purple is one of my fave combos of all time Tell that to your Dad! :)</p> <p>Love snazztacular crazyone!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate/page/2#post-157940 Tue, 18 May 2010 03:15:01 +0000 crazyone 157940@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>funny story about clothing compliments: one of my labmates (a girl) came back from Germany with a nice new trench style belted winter coat, which another one of my labmates (a guy) pronounced to be "snazzy". The German girl and another guy in our lab, who's Chinese, didn't know what that meant, so I as the official lab slang instructor stepped in and told them...and then to kick the lesson up to the graduate level, I told them that you could combine words like "snazzy" with "spectacular" to form "snazztacular". So now that's pretty much our favorite adjective, for clothing AND for our technical stuff. The Chinese dude was especially taken by the word--he wanted to use it in a presentation (his oral qualifying exam) in front of professors, but forgot. I'm going to try to see if he'll use it in his presentation at a major conference in a few days </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate/page/2#post-157939 Tue, 18 May 2010 03:14:16 +0000 Maya 157939@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I know, isn't it sick? </p> <p>I found out he started as an intern too, and now he is employed! There is hope for me yet (to be employed, that is).</p> <p>It's so rare that I see a bloke who lives up to my unreasonably high standards that when I do, I get totally infatuated. It's so awful. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate/page/2#post-157931 Tue, 18 May 2010 03:07:32 +0000 taylor 157931@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya's stalking a secret crush! LOVE it... You are hysterical..... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate/page/2#post-157924 Tue, 18 May 2010 03:02:55 +0000 Maya 157924@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One of my supervisors at the Met is gay. I had a crush on him before I figured it out. He is just too cute and a very snappy dresser.</p> <p>Now my crush has been transferred to another coworker, who I was stalking earlier today :p I don't think he is gay. Or if he is, he is very good at hiding it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate/page/2#post-157917 Tue, 18 May 2010 02:57:26 +0000 taylor 157917@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Totally loved that show Maya. I work with a gay guy now who dresses nicer than me...so jealous!!! He is adorable. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate/page/2#post-157913 Tue, 18 May 2010 02:47:11 +0000 Maya 157913@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>True that Taylor. I wish Queer Eye was still on TV. Lord knows there are a lot of straight guys who could use it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate/page/2#post-157908 Tue, 18 May 2010 02:39:06 +0000 taylor 157908@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have worked around gay people my whole working career...The men seem to have a keen eye...I always take their compliments seriously:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate/page/2#post-157905 Tue, 18 May 2010 02:33:22 +0000 Maya 157905@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Magda, a compliment is a compliment. Gay, straight, bi, man, woman...doesn't matter to me as long as it is said with grace and kindness.</p> <p>My friend's roommate, who is gay, told me I was very good looking (not just out of nowhere, it was relevant to a conversation we were having). I smiled and thanked her for her compliment, and both of our lives seem to have continued normally. It's not like she started making advances on me or anything. Who cares? Life is too short to be that uptight!</p> <p>Tam, he sounds like a real character to work with. My dad says things like that too: "Green and purple don't go together"--Oh sorry dad, I forgot I only spent 6 years in art school and you are a calculus teacher who wears knee socks with shorts and sneakers. Thanks for clarifying who the authority on the matter of aesthetics is...</p> <p>This has been a very interesting thread! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate/page/2#post-157758 Mon, 17 May 2010 18:12:18 +0000 yublocka 157758@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Haha glad to amuse Maya. He also used to tell me the soft toy (from a Mc Donalds happy meal) that I wear around my neck attached to my stethoscope was a walking growth of MRSA. Probably true, but it works for kiddies that I have to try and amuse whilst I'm examining. And some oldies too!!!</p> <p>There are plenty of other things he commented on as well....I could keep writing all night hehe.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157755 Mon, 17 May 2010 17:57:23 +0000 Michelle 157755@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fascinating conversation, April!!<br /> I'm starting to think there may be some generational dynamics at work, because I'm with Tam, Maya and Marianna on this issue -- complements are great, no matter who they come from. Context is important, however, and I share the group's distaste for sexually-tinged complements in general and at the workplace in particular. The only time people got away with that was several years ago when some flamboyantly gay former-coworkers whistled at me as I walked by them. We had a very joky dynamic, I wasn't the sort to float their boat, and they clearly meant the catcall to be both amusing and complementary (which it was).</p> <p>It was also their way of greeting me quickly and letting me know they were there, since they can't wave or wink at me etc.</p> <p>At my current workplace, most of the fashion comments do come from women. However there's one broadcaster who's remarked on the colour of my clothing from time to time and another guy who often seems to notice my jewelry. I'm absolutely fine with both of these. That said, I now realize that both these guys are equals and not superiors. None of my male bosses have ever commented on so much as my hair, so I suppose they're playing by the rules set down by Kristen, April's SO, Anne et al. They're definitely sound rules and make a great deal of sense, but I know I wouldn't mind if the ranking men around here broke them tastefully. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157749 Mon, 17 May 2010 17:38:29 +0000 Maya 157749@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Isabel, your story gives me hope! And what a gross old creep. I shudder to think what boys I knew from high school when I was a pencil thin C cup might assume when they see me today..</p> <p>(This from the girl who is sitting at work Googling her workplace crush...at my other job of course. Who am I to accuse someone else of being creepy?)</p> <p>Tam, your post made me lol and everyone just looked at me and asked what was so funny. Uhhh... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157734 Mon, 17 May 2010 17:22:14 +0000 Isabel 157734@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think that what you came up with is fair. Women tend to have more leeway with other woman. But I do think the most appropriate is to just say " you look nice" or that outfit is very flattering/nice, etc. "</p> <p>Unfortunately, in today's society, you have to be very, very careful. Especially men.</p> <p>( my husband and I worked for the same company while we were dating - I know, I know. No one knew. While we were away at a meeting, a supervisor asked him if he had noticed that my T shirts were either getting tighter or my boobs were getting bigger. My then secret boyfriend almost hit him .....and then lectured him on being appropriate. ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157722 Mon, 17 May 2010 17:06:25 +0000 yublocka 157722@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't mind getting compliments...be they from male, female, who cares!! </p> <p>Having said that, one of my bosses last year used to always comment on, rather than compliment my clothes choice. In a non-sexual way, but it still seemed weird and inappropriate to me. There is one green shirt I always seem to pair with a blue cardigan, and he would say things like "do you really think blue and green go together". I would always reply very chirplily "yep I do, that's why I'm wearing it", but I always wished I could ask him why he thinks thats worse than being 6 foot tall and wearing pants up above your ankles....so not PPL!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157670 Mon, 17 May 2010 14:45:11 +0000 malcontent 157670@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it's possible for a man to compliment a woman on her attire without seeming lecherous. I've rarely been offended when a man has complimented my clothing. While I've had men say things like "that's a sexy dress" which would obviously be inappropriate if we had been in an office setting, I've also had more neutral compliments. Recently, I've had a man compliment my bright red Ecco flats. And I recently had a man compliment my choice of a bright pink scarf to offset a chocolate brown dress. Both these men are straight, but there was clearly nothing sexual about their comments. It is far more common for men to compliment my looks than what I am wearing, and I tend to find comments about my clothing to be less charged than comments on my face, hair, or figure.</p> <p>I do think it is highly, highly unlikely that a man who makes a benign compliment on a female colleague's clothing would face complaints of sexual harassment. In most cases, the behavior has to be egregious before a complaint is made and extremely egregious before anything like a lawsuit would be considered. A more valid concern is being perceived of as sleazy, but I still think kindly-intended, non-lecherous comments are unlikely to come off as offensive. In my own life, I've been made more uncomfortable by men who do not comment on my appearance, but who stare at my face and breasts, who take opportunities to glance down my blouse, or who turn conversations toward sexual innuendo. It's especially awful when such a man is in a position of authority, but such behavior still doesn't necessarily meet the threshold for sexual harassment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157668 Mon, 17 May 2010 14:38:24 +0000 Itari 157668@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>April, sorry for not noticing your answer. I'm sorry if my previous post seemed harsh and accusing. I do appreciate your opinions.</p> <p>This thread is getting hilarious, especially when I'm reading your personal experiences There's one thing on my mind: would you feel uncomfortable if a lesbian or bisexual women commented your appearance (not in a crude and sexual way, of course). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157664 Mon, 17 May 2010 14:22:52 +0000 wilson 157664@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is so funny for me! I work with all men (I am the only female car sales person at a dealership) and I have gotten a lot of comments on my appearance: clothes only, never anything about my physical features.</p> <p>The few men who have never commented about my appearance at all (not even "You look nice" or "That's a nice color") are the ones I respect the most and who I perceive to be the most professional and educated.</p> <p>None of the comments are overtly sexual (to me) but I can see they very well could be perceived by someone else to be offensive, things like "Those shoes are HOT!". In the context that things have been said, it has never bothered me. But my advice to a man would be to NOT SAY ANYTHING because even with the best of intentions it can come out wrong and at the very least his coworker will inwardly roll her eyes and perceive him to be not very educated. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157615 Mon, 17 May 2010 08:16:49 +0000 Ele 157615@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Since I've mainly worked in the fashion industry (at least until 18 months ago), comments on fashion and appearance are par for the course. It's never bothered me at all, though it does mainly come from women. </p> <p>Maya's comment on "nice tits" made me laugh out loud, particularly as I've actually had an experience a little like that! When I worked for Fendi in 2005, I had this one top that was gathered in the middle, and I guess made my chest look quite large. One morning when I was wearing it in the staff room, a co-worker (male) blurted out "Have you had a boob job?". I said "No, but so-and-so asked me the same thing when I wore this last week, maybe I should stop". </p> <p>But of course all the men there were gay, flamboyant and Italian, so it didn't seem weird to me at all. Well, maybe a little. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157612 Mon, 17 May 2010 07:02:18 +0000 Katiepea 157612@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have to admit that I am suspicious of comments coming from the opposite sex in the workplace. </p> <p>My ickiest (I hope you know what I mean!) comment that I can recall specifically in regard to this issue was one (male) colleague saying to me that "I really love the pendant that you wear - I always admire it on you!".</p> <p>Now, yes, granted, it was a very special pendant as it was actually a solid gold medal won by my grandfather in a singing competition (so it was very distinctive and original). However, I couldn't help but think, is this you just trying to have an excuse to look down my top on a regular basis?! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157526 Mon, 17 May 2010 02:37:31 +0000 Kristen 157526@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>To go back to April's original question, I think it is appropriate for peers to comment on each other's outfits, male or female, but when it is the boss it is not wise to do to their employees of the opposite gender, ever. </p> <p>My male coworkers used to comment sometimes about my clothes, but mostly in a kidding way. "Wow, those are some heels!" "Hey, are you in pants? Are you okay?" And once in a while there was one who would say something nice about a color or a pattern, and then he would get the funniest look on his face, like he couldn't believe he noticed or even said it aloud! Hahaha. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157472 Mon, 17 May 2010 01:20:46 +0000 Maya 157472@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't know. Maybe I'm naive and lack confidence, but I feel haughty assuming that all men who compliment me think I'm pretty or "hot" or whatever. Not that you are haughty April. I probably just have a complex.</p> <p>Totally agree with Mac too. It irks me any time I see some guy shamelessly checking me out. I don't mind the act of checking someone out--we all do it. I just hate it when they are so NOT discreet about it.</p> <p>I also think age has something to do with it. Someone my age or not that much older can probably get away with giving me a more personal compliment, whereas an older man would give me the creeps a bit no matter what his intentions.</p> <p>I'm sure you're all stick of my stories and anecdotes, but indulge me in one last one: The worst interview of my life involved a man sort of hitting on me at the interview. He was not a part of the interview but was in the same room where the interview took place. The woman who was interviewing me stepped out for a moment and he introduced himself and said something like "Kelly never introduces me to the beautiful ladies she brings in to freelance." I wonder to this day if he could feel my skin crawling as he shook my hand. </p> <p>Since the rest of the interview went so horribly, I really considered just sneaking out before my interviewer returned. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157470 Mon, 17 May 2010 01:08:25 +0000 Anonymous 157470@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Silence is golden.</p> <p>My husband is an attorney and I asked him about this. He says he would never comment on a female colleague's appearance. Ever. </p> <p>No doubt there are exceptions where a man can compliment a female friend and it means nothing to either one of them, but a man can't go wrong in the workplace by keeping his mouth shut. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157464 Mon, 17 May 2010 00:39:22 +0000 chewyspaghetti 157464@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so far out of the work force, that I have no idea. It's been interesting reading the responses though! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157463 Mon, 17 May 2010 00:31:30 +0000 Mac 157463@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A lot of it is in the delivery, don't you think? On Friday, I was at the library in an extremely unsexy outfit and an older man passed and smiled at me. I returned his smile and he said, "you're lovely." Normally, I'd think that was a delightful and entirely appropriate comment, but he said it in kind of a pervy whisper and looked me up and down as he said it and so that otherwise nice compliment became something that felt rather gross.</p> <p>I've never had a compliment from a male co-worker that makes me feel uncomfortable. "That colour looks great on you," or "You look really nice today" are the general kind of compliments I've received from them. But, then again, there are many gay men in my field and I know they're not trying to check out my breasts : ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157439 Sun, 16 May 2010 22:01:35 +0000 crazyone 157439@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like the compliments I receive, but I've thus far only received them from fellow grad students in my lab I knew well, not from someone older and had authority over me. I don't know whether this was what you were asking exactly, but if I had to advise your husband, I'd advise that in a work situation he *not* make comments about clothing, even if they're entirely innocent and just about the article of clothing (i.e. that's a nice dress vs. that dress really flatters your figure), just because you never know whether the person receiving the compliment will take it badly and it could all result in a sexual harassment suit or the like. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157424 Sun, 16 May 2010 21:09:29 +0000 taylor 157424@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>April, interesting thread.<br /> I guess I am in the "I like compliments, as long as they are not sexually driven "camp.</p> <p>I came to work last week and my manager, about a 30 yr. old male said " oh, you look cute, and I see you lightened your hair" Well, I liked that, but I noticed a couple of sideways glances from my co-workers"/</p> <p>Maya's first response cracked me up...seriously would any guy have the nerve to say that to a woman, without risk of loosing an eye...."nice ti-s" how disgusting!!!. Although i guess there is that segment of the female population who are looking for that response. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157423 Sun, 16 May 2010 21:08:38 +0000 April 157423@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just so you know, Magda, I think *you* actually do believe that about not being attractive, and I realize there's nothing more useless than having someone try to convince you of something if your gut tells you otherwise. But for whatever it's worth, *I* don't believe it. </p> <p>Although I work in a mostly-female environment (elementary school), I'm trying to think about whether it would bother me to be complimented by a man. I don't think so. </p> <p>I do know that having a man tell me I look nice and having a woman tell me I look nice are on completely different scales for me. From a man, I take that comment to mean something like, "You look pretty," which is pleasant but not something to take seriously. From a woman, I take it to mean, "That's a great outfit," and *that* makes me very happy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157402 Sun, 16 May 2010 19:13:11 +0000 Maya 157402@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wish my workplace crush would compliment me Tricia! Lucky you. Mine doesn't even talk to me...although that is mostly my fault :p But anyway...</p> <p>I wrote this story on Carissa's blog once and don't know if I ever told it here, but here goes: When I was in college, I had a pink sweater I bought from H&amp;M. I wore it to my French class one day, and one of the other male students looked at me and said "I really like your sweater" or something to that effect. I didn't really understand why, as it wasn't that extraordinary and most guys don't like pink, but whatever. I didn't think about it too hard. When class got out and I went to the bathroom, what did I find staring back at me in the mirror but two very noticeable nipples! I was so mortified. </p> <p>Obviously I knew nothing about bras at this point...</p> <p>Anyway, THAT bothered me because it was obviously about my chest and not about my sweater. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157401 Sun, 16 May 2010 19:07:23 +0000 Tricia 157401@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have one male co-worker that tells me often that he likes my clothes. Not in a skeevy way at all. He is older than me - late 40s, and has a teenage daughter, so maybe he's more tuned in to the world of women's fashion or something? Anyway, we are friendly and sarcastic with one another and it has never bothered me. (We were actually joking the other day because he complimented my dress and then said "Wow...you have a lot of clothes, don't you?" I said that if straight men who don't live in my house are starting to notice the size of my wardrobe, that must mean it's way too big!</p> <p>One other male coworker complimented my dress, once. It was the first day I wore the Nine West "magic dress" and he took my photo (he's our corporate photographer and I was standing in for a subject while he tested the lighting for a shoot) and when we were done he said "Your dress is a great color." Again, not skeevy at all, and I didn't mind because a) I think he meant it worked well in photos (the photo he took is my avatar here!) and b) he's my age and I have an enormous crush on him. *blush* </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/clothing-comments-in-the-workplace-whats-appropriate#post-157396 Sun, 16 May 2010 18:44:24 +0000 Kristine 157396@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>How about "you look bedazzled", "they're going to think you're my parole officer" (when wearing a blazer) or "you're wearing those funky stockings again" (microfishnets). Those are the kind of comments I get at work. But we all share a sarcastic sense of humor and I've known my co-workers for years so I don't mind. I've also been told my male co-workers that I simply look nice and I don't mind that either. </p>