https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 23 Apr 2026 07:35:12 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure/page/2#post-1963168 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 13:22:58 +0000 Bijou 1963168@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>@JenniNZ </b>- I don't think many of us can fit into the clothing we wore in 1984 again, I know I certainly cannot. It does not hurt to hold onto items that mean so much to us and those two dresses sound like they are special. I still hold onto my wedding dress, despite only having a son and having absolutely no intention of ever getting married again (and if unfortunately that occurred, then that would be my ultimate excuse to splurge on an amazing new dress). You make a very good point about ageing. Yes I would love to have the looks and figure I had in my teens and early 20's, but I just have to make the most of what I have now and value my health and happiness. Thanks for your wonderfully wise words. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure/page/2#post-1963166 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 13:18:11 +0000 karen13 1963166@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet -so much good advice here. I know it can be hard to follow -I too keep things that taunt me. I hope she my busy travel schedule allows that I can re read and embrace this wisdom. Sending hugs and affirmation that you do indeed look FAB right now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure/page/2#post-1963163 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 13:03:23 +0000 ChrisM 1963163@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LisaP, I’m no good with links on my phone, but on 5/25 you posted a picture of a black with white stripes cold shoulder dress that I loved!! One of my favs..... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure/page/2#post-1963101 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 09:21:10 +0000 Jenni NZ 1963101@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Janet. You look so amazing! It is a pity to do this. I do it too, and in a more extreme way. It isn't the dress from 1993, it is the two dresses from 1984! One is a perfect simple cream silk that I secretly hoped older DD would wear, but she hasn't. And one is my first really "grown up" dress in red and black, bought for me by Mum for my cousin's 21st and worn to graduate as a doctor the next year, 33 years ago. Realistically for me I'll be an old lady of 80-something who has lost weight through illness and frailty before I will fit these things.<br /> I see so many post-menopausal women who have gained weight, it's just so common and actually helps our bones somewhat since fat cells make some estrogen. A bit to come and go on is good after 70. Illness can play havoc with weight and lead to frailty. You haven't failed!<br /> This year I have donated a skirt from 1997 and one from 2000 that were in my holding zone. They were special too but not as much as those 80s dresses. I am trying to be emotionally strong and to not hate my body. It takes work. I mostly succeed. To look down at clothes that fit me now, fatter body and all, makes me feel happier than self-flagellation x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure/page/2#post-1963057 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 03:21:24 +0000 SarahD8 1963057@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am keeping a few pairs of pants that are a size down from my current size, because pants are SO hard for me to fit (especially now that rises are trending higher). A couple of items that were gifts from my husband. And a couple more with really distinctive/beloved prints that I know I would want to wear again. Fewer than 10 items overall. I try to keep the number of such items pretty minimal, because let's face it, clothing actually doesn't store all that well.</p> <p>I like the idea of using your blue dress from this summer's wedding as a benchmark for your occasion wear -- it was sooooo stunning on you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure/page/2#post-1963047 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 03:00:19 +0000 Jaime 1963047@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I commiserate and also am in the same situation, having gained 2 sizes in the last couople of years and now back down a bit but still up from where I started. I do keep non-fitting things out of my closet, but don't get rid of the special (designer or vintage or both) ones but keep them separated to be checked if I lose a size. A relatively small weight change makes a huge difference on my short and small frame, and I also have two mini-mes who have begun to raid my stuff, and appreciate it. But things that are easily upgradeable and replaceable are definitely sold or given away. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure/page/2#post-1963022 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 01:52:54 +0000 cindysmith 1963022@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am right there with you, girlfriend. I've gained more than one size in the last 18 months.</p> <p>Some of the most "precious" or exquisite items are in my holding zone, just in case. Overall, though, I've come to realize that my tastes are likely to change by the time I can fit in them again, so it makes it easier for me to pass them on to someone who will love them. </p> <p>Sending you (((hugs))) because I feel your pain </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure/page/2#post-1962894 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 20:37:24 +0000 Janet 1962894@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So much wisdom here that I needed to read as a reminder! Thanks, all. I’m on my phone in the airport, so not possible to address all of your smart responses individually, but I’m glad to get all of this encouragement. </p> <p>I have lots of fab things that DO fit me, and my life seems to get more causal each year. I don’t need to hang onto so many “nice” items when they would fit someone else’s life and body better than they fit mine. Clearly a good edit is in my future! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure/page/2#post-1962892 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 20:29:56 +0000 Suz 1962892@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I echo the advice of others to let these items go. I like <b>Carla</b>'s litmus test. You look<b> SO</b> amazing in that navy dress. All occasion wear should be up to that standard. Keep only things that make you feel great.&nbsp;</p> <p>Having said that, I can empathize. I kept a number of items in my closet for longer than I probably should have and only got rid of them recently.</p> <p>Having just lost significant weight (35 pounds) right before I joined YLF, I was at my lowest adult weight when I made my first YLF-related purchases. I maintained the new weight for about four years but then high stress levels got in my way and I regained about 10 pounds -- returning to what had been my former (pre-weight gain) set point. Then, this past summer, I lost about 5 of those new pounds. So much like <b>LisaP,</b> I now find myself betwixt and between.&nbsp;</p> <p>If I'm honest with myself, this is my more <b></b>comfortable<b></b>&nbsp;and sustainable size. I know that even if I stay this weight, I might lose some extra cms. once I'm weight training again more regularly, and that will affect how things fit. But the truth is, I will want new things at that point anyway.&nbsp;</p> <p>I do think ill fitting items taunt us and make us feel guilty if they're hanging there. Letting them go can be liberating. You don't have to live with guilt.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure/page/2#post-1962875 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 19:47:35 +0000 Anonymous 1962875@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do keep clothes larger &amp; smaller even if unworn, that I love because my weight shifts a lot with medications and hormonal issues but anything of any size that I don’t love or still want to be able to wear, goes.</p> <p>A few years ago I let two too small beloved skirts go, then got to that size and deeply regretted it.</p> <p>Last year I donated stuff that was too big and now, have gained and could use them.</p> <p>For me, it’s definitely tricky size wise.<br /> Otherwise, I don’t have a problem culling based on other parameters. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962837 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 18:10:36 +0000 Carla 1962837@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm in a 'mood' and Angie's challenge came at the perfect time. One of the items I just dispatched was a dress I've had since I was 16 that I would try on once or twice a year as a 'test' and a reminder to mind my size. To further complicate the psychology it was a dress given to me by my mother, from her closet. (Theme for a short story?) Anyway, during this year, and this purge in particular, my aim has become to rid my closet of anything that makes me feel bad - for whatever reason.</p> <p>You have the physical space to store a large wardrobe, so you shouldn't feel compelled to jettison items with a high happiness factor. However, if there is the least pang of regret or other negativity - bundle it along. </p> <p>FWIW - that navy dress you wore to the wedding recently might be the litmus test for that category. If anything in your occaisionwear category makes you feel as good or better - it would be a keeper - otherwise it might be time to let it go? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962795 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 16:32:52 +0000 Kate 1962795@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The older I've gotten, the easier it has become to get rid of stuff. I like having less stuff in my life. It makes me feel physically lighter. I'm also less sentimental about clothing, certainly my own, although I do have sentimental attachments to some of my mother's clothing that she no longer wears but I find hard to get rid of.&nbsp;</p> <p>I refuse to hang onto to stuff that makes me feel bad for whatever reason.&nbsp; I'm itching to get into my closet and prune a few things. Just mentally added another—Madewell Camden sweater coat, you are off to find a new home!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962789 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 16:15:21 +0000 Colette 1962789@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Popping in to commiserate. I have always struggled with my weight but I have no great advice to offer because I've buried my head in the sand for too long. I store the clothes that don't fit (my body or lifestyle) out of sight in my basement and forget about them until I'm down there and I get a peek of all the boxes. It plays havoc on my emotions. I definitely do not suggest this!</p> <p>I'm in the midst of a massive edit and what I hope to achieve is more of a live in the moment and look to the future approach to dressing. These clothes are weighing me down physically and emotionallyl. THEY MUST GO! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962743 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 14:23:17 +0000 Cardiff girl 1962743@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You have a cracking figure now Janet from what I have seen on the site,l wouldn’t waste time thinking about what you were like years ago,us ladies are always unnecessarily hard on ourselves when it comes to body image.<br /> Let the old clothes go and enjoy your current wardrobe. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962736 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 14:04:46 +0000 ClaraT 1962736@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What helps me mentally with donating still-lively items is donating to an organization that does good work—eg Bloom Marin (nearish me) has a boutique where the proceeds help the community, and the staff use donated clothing to help outfit women who need help with interview/work clothing.<br /> It makes me feel happy to know that my mistakes (fit or size) help someone else. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962729 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 13:49:26 +0000 Anonymous 1962729@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a black and white sack dress? &nbsp;lol </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962718 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 13:22:19 +0000 Murph11 1962718@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet, I guarantee you’ll feel so much better after purging the items that don’t work. Reading all the advice here, I’m letting go of 3 pair of almost-my-size pants that made my recent closet edit. When I saw them hanging there yesterday morning, they made me feel bad— who needs that? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962711 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 13:09:55 +0000 Bijou 1962711@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Say goodbye, something not fitting for over 6 months should be out of your wardrobe forever.</p> <p>Yes, you are not alone with these feelings, and for me, weight gain holding is the worst as it makes me regret that I put weight on in the first place. When I find items like that that I put them in a holding zone for a maximum period of 2 months. I have to be that strict in terms of timetable, as it helps me to get serious about my desire to not eat treats and increase exercising and after 2 months if it still does not fit, I donate.</p> <p>It is not a good feeling having beautiful clothing that just does not fit properly and even worse having to see it and let it make you feel bad.&nbsp;</p> <p>My Mum was just the same as yours and so I can see her tendencies emerging in me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962700 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 12:07:14 +0000 Anonymous 1962700@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so glad I am not the only one that agonizes over this.&nbsp; It is hard to describe all the emotions involved in editing a wardrobe.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>Here is a question I am asking myself:&nbsp;<i> If my weight changes, will I want to wear these things again or will I want to buy something new and exciting to express who I am at that time?</i>&nbsp; &nbsp;If history has any bearing on this issue, I will always want something new to mark progress and change in my life.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962680 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 10:32:53 +0000 lyn67 1962680@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I feel the same...ALL THE TIME...and have many&nbsp; bags full of beautiful clothes in my holdig zone...:-(( </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962668 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 09:37:48 +0000 Mainelady 1962668@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You are not failing. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. I can identify with everything you have written. I have hung onto clothing, because if I drop a few stubborn pounds I will be able to wear them again. Well, as I get older, those stubborn pounds are harder to lose and easier to put back on. As you said, despite weight changes, either up, or down, my body is not the same shape it once was. I used to be a rectangle. Now I have curves. What is up with that?<br /> I began my closet edit yesterday and was very critical of fit. Just because I could zip things up, didn’t mean they looked good or fit well. I have a large wardrobe, so I can let things go and still have options. Wishing you luck with your closet edit. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962666 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 09:28:50 +0000 Anonymous 1962666@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>YES! &nbsp;Thank you for posting this. &nbsp;I don't have time to read all the comments, but I suspect they will be enlightening. &nbsp; </p> <p>As always, the advice is helpful. &nbsp;I am further motivated and will attack the next phase of my wardrobe edit this evening after work. &nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962661 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 08:41:30 +0000 Jessikams 1962661@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I share the issue of having “feelings” about items that no longer work. For me, it’s not incorrectly sized items but rather old blazers and office wear. Some nice things, but I don’t work in an office anymore (um, for 3 years now...) and have no desire to return to that type of work. YET: I know it was a huge disappointment for my mother when I left corporate life to strike out on my own. I feel guilty when I look at those clothes, like I let her down by not becoming who she wanted me to be. </p> <p>Nonetheless I am happier with my indie jeans-life. I’ve been thinking, perhaps I will wear some of the suit pieces to her upcoming memorial, as they are black and navy, and then be done with them.</p> <p>I must echo everyone else and say your style and “look” is an inspiration! Whatever you’re doing is just right. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962656 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 06:59:10 +0000 Barbara Diane 1962656@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I let go of larger sizes when I lose weight but keep smaller size clothes in an area I don’t see unless I search for them. </p> <p>Sentimental clothing is in it’s own spot, except for a few items hanging on the outside of my closet door. Those items make me smile.</p> <p>As fit is a challenge, when I lose weight it is so much less stressful to have some clothing ready. And it is like I get to see my old friends again.</p> <p>I do have some items I find challenging to let go of. But they aren’t in my bedroom. </p> <p>Janet, decide what works best for you. Good luck. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962618 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 02:09:17 +0000 Christina F. 1962618@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I totally get this. For me, it’s the items that technically fit in that they will go on and zip, but are too tight, or tops that are too tight on the bottom on my curvy, short waisted frame. These items aren’t comfortable or aren’t flattering enough to wear regularly, mostly due to belly bloat. I’ve popped most of them in holding, but I should really get rid of them for the same reasons the wise folks above mention. Thank you for bringing this aspect of things up.</p> <p>For the record, YLF now as you are! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962614 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 01:57:47 +0000 Anonymous 1962614@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I find that even more than my figure, what I want to see in the mirror, and the persona I want to project, is evolving faster than when I was younger. I barely want to wear things from a year ago, much less several, and fit isn't even an issue. It sounds almost as though your negative relationship with these items is longer and more powerful than the positive!</p> <p>I think it's good to focus on what you're going towards rather than what you're giving up. Send them on their way to people who'll be thrilled to wear them tomorrow.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962610 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 01:47:36 +0000 catherine 1962610@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet, I totally get what you’re saying. I’m almost 63 and have recently decided that keeping clothes that don’t look good on my present body is very self-defeating. It’s difficult, though. I think you look really, really good. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962608 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 01:34:48 +0000 MsMaven 1962608@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I thought I was long through all the menopausal weight changes, and guess what? Comes the new issue of age shrinkage, although the weight stays the same but stuff moves around. New insults! After hanging on to 80s and 90s fancy outfits for black tie events I no longer attend, I finally donated many wonderful items.&nbsp;</p> <p>My advice is to let it go, let it all go. Should you lose weight, your body &nbsp;will have changed and you will have new challenges. It's hard, I know, but take lots of photos and make sure you save photos of you in your wonderful things.&nbsp;</p> <p>I know how hard it is, but if there are a few special items, keep them in a box or somewhere outside your daily closet. I did that and eventually let them go. With regrets.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962590 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 00:24:29 +0000 Janet 1962590@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Haha, Sal, I keep occasion wear that no longer fits too, and sometimes for sentimental reasons, but more because I like it than for any possible opportunity to pass it along to someone in my family. </p> <p>After all, I still own the dress I wore to one of the Clinton inaugural balls in 1993 (I can zip it up, but it ain’t pretty LOL). Is that kind of silly? But then again, I am glad I hung onto the gown I wore to one of the Obama inaugural balls in 2009 because I got another chance to wear it last year. Gotta admit, I don’t think the one from the 90s will be my style again, so I really should let it go. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/closet-edit-fear-and-failure#post-1962588 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 00:20:00 +0000 ChrisM 1962588@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Double and triple ditto!!! </p> <p>Completely empathize with you, I am in a similar boat. But Janet I remember that picture of you in the blue dress for the wedding in London and you looked so completely fabulous!! Same with Lisa in the black and white sack dress - I hold these images as inspiration.</p> <p>Get rid of the too small. Joy is right. Life is too short to be bossed around by clothes that don’t fit (Angie is right again!) </p>