https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 22 Apr 2026 17:10:28 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow/page/2#post-446866 Tue, 18 Oct 2011 03:09:57 +0000 MsMaven 446866@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was raised in a tradition where people do not wear black to funerals. I do think it is a good idea to keep a conservative outfit available to wear in case of a funeral for a business associate of you or your spouse. Also it is important to consider religious faith, or lack of, for the person whose life you are memorializing.</p> <p>I have seen some flashy outfits worn to funerals here in California. I would never criticize any outfit worn by a family member or close friend--you never know what the outfit really means to the person close to the deceased. The only criteria I suggest is: nothing showing cleavage, nothing too short or too tight. After all, it's not about you--it's about the life of the person who died. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow/page/2#post-446506 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 17:35:38 +0000 mamaKate 446506@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Agreed, an important exercise. I am strongly on Team Suit for funerals as opposed to Team Dress. And I am with Kirsty on wearing navy vs. black. So it would be my pinstripe navy suit. I know this errs on the side of being to businessy, but IMHO that's why the navy pinstripe suit is the formal uniform in the business world - because it is so versatile. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow/page/2#post-446496 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 17:25:19 +0000 Aziraphale 446496@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good exercise, QM! After the pre-funeral 'I have nothing to wear' panic that happened when my grandfather died, I have made sure to keep a funeral-appropriate outfit in my closet. I have several sleek black tops that can be paired with a gray pencil skirt that is hemmed to an inch or so below my knee. It's modest and formal-looking, and could be worn at any time of year except the blazing heat of summer (which rarely happens in Vancouver, anyway). I'd wear it with my black 2.75" heels and sheer black hose, and I'd be good to go. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-446322 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:31:28 +0000 lyn67 446322@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very usefull topic, thanx QM. </p> <p>I'll show my funeral appropiate outfits down here(but sorry, I don't think you'll see the details very well). I do have a black shift dress, but usually find that separates of dark colours (but never all black, as I'm blonde) work better for this.</p> <p>-dark grey pencil skirt (always with hose)<br /> -a black blouse or fine tee(short or long sleeved)<br /> -black beads or a small silver pendant (chocker stlyeÖ<br /> -thin black leather belt, with silvery buckle<br /> -a short sleeve black jacket (in the summer) or a dark brown/black small checkerred streamlined jacket(in other seasons)<br /> - with/without a grey (white and black checkerred) longer scarf(for softening the colours nearby my face and also for coverage if I consider that)</p> <p>Tights and shoes:<br /> - in summer are invisible grey/sheer(10DEN)with grey 1,5 inch heeled pumps (looking like ballett flats-and so comfy) but<br /> -are darker and thicker(for ex. black 15/20DENsheers)in the colder seasons worn with dark antique brown Mary Janes<br /> (shoes are never black, as my outfit has no plain black more than a tee/blose underneath the jacket)<br /> -black patent sneakskin clutch bag<br /> -black trench or coat as outerwear in the fall/winter (+black long boots if neede-no pictie, but you get the point)</p> <p>This is kind of a good formula for me and it took me a while to work it out, but there is no brain anymore what to wear to a funeral.</p> <p>Hope this will help others to find their own formula easier... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-446311 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 06:49:58 +0000 Katiepea 446311@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hope this doesn't sound morose, but this is a really interesting thread. I have a couple of simple black dresses (one with longer sleeves, one with short) that I think would be suitable. I'd probably accessorise very simply with my simple gold necklace. </p> <p>Interestingly, when my mum died I actually had only just had a baby and couldn't handle the thought of wearing black. I also had the issue that wearing a dress and breastfeeding was looking to be a nightmare as well. In the end I wore navy and white pin-stripe pant and a navy top with brooch. My mum and dad used to love travelling in Asia and as white is their colour of mourning I figured it was appropriate.</p> <p>Surprisingly, I actually felt really good in this outfit, I know the style and the colours were very flattering, much more so than if I'd worn the same outfit in black. I I considered that looking my best would be the greatest show for how much my mum mattered, not whether I wore the official colour of mourning or not. </p> <p> I also figured that with it being my mum and me being her daughter, I could darn well wear whatever I wanted on this occasion and no one else would be game to say anything! (Stubborn, just like my mum! ;-)) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-446309 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 06:37:06 +0000 Deborah 446309@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have quite a few dresses suitable for a funeral, I would just accessorize them more demurely for a funeral. A couple of months ago my father in law passed way and I wore a black midi sheath dress with a black cotton button down underneath with the cuffs turned back and I wore big pearls in the neckline. Black hose and black pumps. Black is certainly not required but I do like it so it's any easy choice for me. Deep jewel tones can be good too I think. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-446268 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 04:15:02 +0000 Marley 446268@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think that I must be pretty unconventional/non-traditional when it comes to "funeral wear."</p> <p>When I go to a funeral, I usually wear something that represents, or has something to do with the person who has died. For example, earlier this year a girlfriend of mine died and we (family and friends) all decided to wear clothes to the funeral in her favorite color - periwinkle or blue. We were all decked out in her favorite color and it really felt personal and special. </p> <p>For one of my dearest girlfriends who passed away several years ago, I wore an outfit that she had helped me shop for on one of our many shopping excursions - a beautiful pink silk blouse and black pencil skirt with high black heels. I know that she was looking down on me with a big smile on her face - remembering the great time that we had had that day. </p> <p>When my father passed away last year, I wore a DVF wrap dress in a pink, black and white print. My mom wore a beautiful teal silk blouse with a black skirt. My dad loved my mom's beautiful blue eyes and the teal blouse highlighted them - we both knew that he would have loved that!</p> <p>If I was to go to a funeral of someone that I did not know very well, I would wear something black, gray or navy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-446247 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 03:24:51 +0000 Janet 446247@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sadly, I have plenty of practice with this, as I've gone to four services of one type or another this year alone. I would say I have several outfits that would be totally appropriate, but a couple of them involve my black or gray dress trousers, which no longer fit, so I'd need a quick alteration! I do have a couple of dresses that would fit the bill, with a jacket. </p> <p>My one gap in funeral-appropriate attire right now is a simple pair of black pumps. I can't believe, with all the shoes I own, that's one style I currently lack. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-446197 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 02:14:57 +0000 JennyAnne 446197@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a go-to funeral dress, since I'm the head of my church's bereavement committee (I coordinate a reception if the family desires it). Anyway, it's a knee-length, short-sleeved black doubleknit dress. If it's chilly out, I usually wear black flats with it, since I'm running around a lot. </p> <p>If the funeral is for someone I know, and who I feel would want a little cheer at their ceremony, I throw on an interesting scarf. When I went to my Grandma's funeral a few years ago, I work a black skirt and top and crazy shoes, because she was a shoe-lover. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-446178 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 01:47:52 +0000 Elly 446178@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Two years ago this month I had two last-minute funerals I had to attend. I drove 9 hours straight to get to one and 15 hours to get to the other--- then turned around and had to be back to work/school--- so I slept and then drove the 15 hours back. Both were very close family members--- the kind that were close enough that I was asked to speak, but didn't know if I could keep it together. </p> <p>I was extremely embarrassed--- I have been unlucky enough (or maybe lucky enough?) to attend funerals of a lot of loved ones in my life and often attend one or more service a year. It is hard since the majority of my family is elderly since I grew up very close to my grandparents and their brothers and sisters. Just prior to loosing two people in one month 2 years ago I had gone almost two years without a service I was able to attend. I pulled my "funeral clothes" out of the closet only to get all the way to my destination and realize that I couldn't button the blouse over my chest and that the slacks had a hole in the butt. I borrowed a cami and stitched the slacks up, but it was embarassing going to my grandfather's funeral in a blouse that didn't button with a sweatshirt over it because it was a cold day and I didn't have a proper jacket (didn't own one, let alone think to have brought it). Turns out the slacks had rotted of age and the seams gave in the crotch at the reception after the service when I went to pick up my cousin's little one. I actually fell down the stairs at that reception too, which didn't make it a better day. </p> <p>I wish I had just worn my jeans.</p> <p>I would love to say that I have learned my lesson and have a perfect funeral option waiting in my closet, but two years and YLF later I still have nothing appropriate. </p> <p>I have told everyone I am close to that no one is allowed to die and that they better take care of themselves because I am not attending any more funerals or driving anyone to the hospital because they were doing something stupid--- if only that was the way it worked. </p> <p>Moral of the story--- get it sorted! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-446162 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 01:30:54 +0000 MNsara 446162@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have so much black that I'm pretty sure I could dress for a funeral for any of our four seasons :-\</p> <p>(There was this one summer that we attended three funerals on my husband's side in a three month span. That was a challenge to find funeral attire when you're with the same crowd every time!!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-446159 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 01:26:29 +0000 Isabel 446159@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This thread gets to the heart of the matter, in general : is your closet in shape for anything ? </p> <p>I have several things that I could wear from a lovely black cardigan, slacks, skirts and a dress. My most versatile would be a jersey wrap dress that is charcoal grey and black : so it would fit me at any time and it is long sleeves with roll tabs. Even in the middle of a heatwave, I would do ok. I have a black linen dress, black linen pants and a very lightweight cotton black shirt.</p> <p>But I think that gray and navy would also be appropriate.</p> <p>I have always been one of those people that needs to have some plain, black stuff in her closet. I also feel that way about navy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-446061 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 23:31:55 +0000 MsMary 446061@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tomorrow? I'd wear this outfit - black sheath dress and Kate Spade jacket -- and change out the light shoes and bag for black. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445977 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 21:32:52 +0000 HelenInCanada 445977@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@kellygirl, thank goodness you haven't! Actually, looking at your pics again, I think dress #1 could certainly work for a funeral too, WITHOUT the sexy boots! The boots definitely threw me off initially! The cowl neck, long sleeves, and knee-length are all appropriate for a occasion calling for conservatism - with a close-toe pump. </p> <p>@cjh and Lisa, I think I'm being a stickler (or maybe it's just the norm where I live), but I've found that all black - or dark grey or navy - is best for funerals. I'm tending to see the bright green print and the lighter-coloured shawl cardi as too 'happy' for a funeral. But I do understand the need for wanting to inject a bit of levity into such a sad occasion...I guess it all depends on how you feel the grieving parties would interpret it. All in all, definitely more low-key colours and styles are risk-free. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445944 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 21:10:10 +0000 Anonymous 445944@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I learned the hard way to be prepared when I was stuck in small town Iowa with only a Walmart to find a complete funeral outfit for my mother's funeral. When it's a close family member and you need to make lots of calls and arrangements, there is no time to go shopping.<br /> Now I've got two sleeeveless black sheath dresses, one of a heavier fabric than the other, plus an AT LBD with cowel neck and elbow sleeves. This summer I attended the funeral of a dear friend and wore the lighter weight sheath dress that hits just below my knees, black low-heeled pumps, grey pearls, and a light-weight black silk jacket.<br /> Be sure to have shoes that will not sink into the ground if you need to attend a graveside service. I wore the same dress to the wake the night before, but with a different jacket and a black/grey/cream ombre scarf. If I can get pictures, I'll add them. I've also got a black lined trench coat for a winter funeral.<br /> In the past one of my favorite funeral outfits was a skirt suit of a dark ink blue with a tiny pin stripe of baby blue paired with a dressy ivory silk shell, white pearls and ink low-heeled pumps.<br /> Kelly, I've with Helen on picking option 2 for the same reasons. One doesn't want to stand out at a funeral. Plain and black or dark and covered up looks the most respectful for the family. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445940 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 21:08:59 +0000 Lisa 445940@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would wear the dress in #1 with black hose (sheer in warmer months, opaque in darker months). And swap out the tan cardigan for a black one, or a black blazer.</p> <p>Or I would wear the second outfit again with a black blazer and belt instead and sheer hose regardless of the season. I would wear the all black outfit (#2) if it were a funeral for a family member of mine. I would wear the first outfit with the greys for a funeral for someone I know. I quirk of mine, to lighten up just a tiny bit depending on the situation. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445900 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:46:15 +0000 Mo 445900@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>In hindsight, I recall I wore heeled sandals to a funeral at Forest Lawn in LA when I very first moved to FL (2003) and they were all I had. It was raining and not the most appropriate. But, flying the 3000 miles to be there meant more than the shoes I wore. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445885 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:25:56 +0000 kellygirl 445885@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Helen: Thanks for the feedback. I haven't been to a funeral in quite awhile so it's good to know. I would rather error on the conservative side. What a helpful exercise--hope I won't be needing to put the theory into practice any time soon! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445881 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:19:34 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 445881@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sadly I know the answer to this question. My sister's husband passed away suddenly about two years ago (he was 47 at the time). I had just purchased a simple black skirt suit and wore that to the funeral. I also have a black wool crepe knee length dress with a small velvet ribbon detail below the bust. When I had it altered, the seamstress commented that it would be perfect if I ever needed a dress for a funeral on short notice. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445878 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:11:15 +0000 cjh 445878@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm thinking of my closet, and I also think I have lots of choices because I have lots of black bottoms, plain blazers, simple tops as my basic pieces. I would probably pick a combination of my basics, and would likely choose a mix of ALL basics, meaning no feature pieces, no show-piece jewelry or colorful scarves, pattern mixing or color blocking adventures.</p> <p>Either black pencil skirt with dark hose and shoes or slacks, depending on weather. If it's cold and/or we will go to the gravesite, probably slacks. Very common in our neck of the woods, and I have several pairs because it's one of my work standards all winter.</p> <p>Dark or print modest blouse or top. Probably a dark teal blouse with pleated ruffle trim if wearing slacks, or a cream or red ribbed turtleneck sweater if it's cold. If wearing a skirt, a green print knit top, a cream knit top or possibly a taupe one.</p> <p>If it was warm and I could wear a skirt, I wouldn't feel out of place with bare legs and basic sandals.</p> <p>Dark sweater (black light weight cardigan or boiled wool cardigan with assymetrical collar) or any warm blazer - some of my choices are a rich black tailored corduroy (not fadey looking), or raspberry wool, or teal/gray/black tweed wool, or black and white nubbly tweed soft jacket. I think the tone of dress seems more important around my area here rather than the actual colors. For instance, a colored blazer would work fine if it's conservative, business-y and weather appropriate.</p> <p>Black wool coat or trench. Possibly boots if really cold and wet, but I don't have fashion boots, just snow boots, so probably black mary jane heels.</p> <p>ETA two slacks outfits that I would feel appropriate for a funeral here, except I would possibly change to skirt and tights, or even dressier if it were a close family member. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445876 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:05:49 +0000 HelenInCanada 445876@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>kellygirl, I like option #2 for a funeral, perhaps with closed-toe pumps. The other two are absolutely FAB dresses, but I feel are too "sexy-party-time" stylin' for a sombre occasion...? Just my two cents. You look GREAT in all, though! Loving' the gorgeous necklace too!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445859 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:51:31 +0000 Nakidra 445859@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I also have tons to wear because of my dark suits and dresses. It's interesting because when my grandmother passed away last year, my hubby and I knew what we would wear, but we didn't know what to dress our kids in. We decided to dress them in just normal dressy outfits. My daughter who was 1.5 at the time wore a pink dress and it was totally appropriate. It's cultural ... my adult cousins wore white as a sign of respect. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445853 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:45:18 +0000 Kari 445853@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Confession - I've never been to a real "funeral" held at a church or funeral home immediately after the death of a loved one. I've been to a few memorial services that are usually held a few weeks out (or in my grandma's case, a few months after) the person who is being honored had passed away, so I've never had a true last-minute need to pull an outfit together.</p> <p>What I've worn:<br /> To a recent memorial service for a family friend - gray sheath dress, classic charcoal gray cardigan, and I think I wore medium gray patent pumps with a pearl necklace.<br /> To my grandma's memorial service, which was held in the spring and was more of a life-celebration occasion (a little more festive): dove gray A-line sheath dress, red pumps, red patterned scarf, silver earrings. (We had a gallery with my grandma's art displayed, friends speaking in her honor, poetry readings, and my sister, dad, and I arranged a trio to play on flutes and guitar.)</p> <p>What I'd probably wear if I had to go to a formal funeral tomorrow - black pencil skirt, black semi-sheer hose with a very small-scale pattern, black blazer worn open, a black wide stretchy belt, black Mary Janes, and either a black mesh blouse with tiny polka dots or a blackberry-purple silk blouse. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445846 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:34:07 +0000 Jenava 445846@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Off the top of my head I could come up with 4 or 5 different outfits. Yikes! guess my style tends towards the dressy and the severe...(-: </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445828 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:20:34 +0000 Sparky 445828@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would wear what I wore to a memorial service earlier this summer:</p> <p>~ black Halogen pencil skirt<br /> ~ Kenneth Cole sleeveless black blouse with (small) cream dots<br /> ~ black AT blazer with bracelet length sleeves<br /> ~ various shoe options depending on weather, either black pumps, nude sandals, or black boots.<br /> ~ Black trench coat if needed </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445823 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:12:24 +0000 kellygirl 445823@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting question, Kim. I have a couple black dresses and a skirt and jacket I could wear. Not sure that any are fab but I think they would all be appropriate--maybe I would add hosiery though.</p> <p>ETA: oh, and different shoes. I didn't notice I had sandals on until I posted the pics from my archives. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445816 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:00:14 +0000 Ornella 445816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Excellent challenge Kim.</p> <p>I have very simple but perfectly tailored long jacket (knee length) or is it overcoat, that will add formal touch to anything I am wearing underneath as well as be good additional layer for colder months.</p> <p>So, my options are:<br /> - LBD dressed down with or without the mentioned overcoat;<br /> - dark top + black pencil skirt with short black blazer or the same overcoat. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445808 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 17:27:54 +0000 lyn* 445808@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a ton of work-appropriate dark sheaths + navy blazer + dark leggings + black pumps. </p> <p>I have only been to one mass funeral (for our med school cadavers); and hopefully won't have to anytime soon! (touch wood)</p> <p>I think it's easier for people with closets that tend towards black/grey/navy. And men's suits are mostly in those colours. Lucky guys. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445793 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 17:01:47 +0000 ironkurtin 445793@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My default for dressier/flexible but comfortable is Eileen Fisher. I have a black wrap dress that can work for most temperatures, plus a few black skirts, sweaters, and blazers. In earlier threads I mentioned that when my MIL died I suddenly realized I had nothing suitable for graver occasions, so I went out of my way to find things. I feel much more secure now knowing I have appropriate, flattering, and respectful clothing in my closet. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/challenge-what-would-you-wear-to-a-funeral-tomorrow#post-445789 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 16:51:20 +0000 Vildy 445789@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The shoes I'm trying to describe look kind of 20's - 30's. The brown handbag I mean<br /> is dressier than any kind of leather hobo or similar. </p>