https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 10 Apr 2026 23:42:12 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long/page/2#post-1002137 Fri, 09 Aug 2013 08:47:19 +0000 Jaime 1002137@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Perhaps I am just jaded but, dear Shannon, if your biggest vice after the year you have had is thrifting and eating a bit more than you think you should, I congratulate you for your incredible mental health and resilience. We all have ways of dealing with stress and I would be pretty frightened (and find it pretty unpleasant) to spend time with anyone who channels all their stress into perfectly productive and healthy occupations. And I have missed your outfits this week, despite my sporadic presence. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long/page/2#post-1002127 Fri, 09 Aug 2013 07:16:24 +0000 Lyn D. 1002127@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks Shannon, I am sure you will return to work feeling lighter and clearer of mind (and closet). <br />I don't always count thrift purchases on my clothing budget- I figure if it costs the same or less than a cup of coffee, it doesn't count. If I wear it only once or twice it has given me more enjoyment too. Plus, I have donated to a good cause in the process. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long/page/2#post-1002106 Fri, 09 Aug 2013 06:37:53 +0000 Ingunn 1002106@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I always admire and appreciate your honesty. Mr S deserves a hug, I believe he must be just as empathic and kind as you are yourself. What you're describing is probably recognisable to most people. I know I do the same - shopping/buying too much at times, and spending far too much time browsing and contemplating purchases. It steals time from my family and friends. By recognicing this pattern, you've made an effort to do something about it, and that is the most important step. Thank you for reminding me to do the same. Hugs! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long/page/2#post-1002071 Fri, 09 Aug 2013 04:39:56 +0000 Beth Ann 1002071@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>First, Mr. S. gets a hug.</p> <p>Second, so glad you shared this.&nbsp; All of us have helpful and less helpful ways of managing stress and lack of control in our lives.&nbsp; Thrifting has probably been a fairly good choice overall.&nbsp; I doubt that it has been horribly expensive, but you discovered this week that those items were high-maintenance, demanding to be housed and cleaned and fussed over.&nbsp; They take up space not just in your closet, but in your life!&nbsp; Fortunately, while you still have stress to deal with, your need to thrift to have a closet of interesting clothing is no longer there.&nbsp; You have a great wardrobe, and you can maintain it with a few good purchases (like the booties) each season.</p> <p>As for eating ---- oh, yes, I get this.&nbsp; I've been writing and memorizing a script for these moments........"I choose a healthy breakfast, because I feel so much better, and I want to have a fabulous, energetic day......."&nbsp; or "Church doughnuts aren't good enough for a girl like me"&nbsp; (I'm not kidding, I use this one every week now).&nbsp; I know it sounds kind of silly, but the script helps me be more mindful and proactive.&nbsp; I just hope the Church ladies don't hear me as they stand in the doughnut line................ </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long/page/2#post-1002057 Fri, 09 Aug 2013 03:54:30 +0000 Lantana 1002057@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This was good for you to write and good for me to read.<br /> I like to hear about your self awareness. I think people mostly have their own solutions tucked away inside themselves and that certainly sounds like where you are at right now Shannon.<br /> Thanks for sharing your insights. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long/page/2#post-1002036 Fri, 09 Aug 2013 03:28:10 +0000 Anonymous 1002036@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I've missed your presence on the forum. You have made discoveries that many of us can identify with. Stress sends me directly to my stash of very dark low carb chocolate. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long/page/2#post-1002023 Fri, 09 Aug 2013 02:59:59 +0000 Parsley 1002023@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Can't wait to see the new boots, Shannon. Your husband sounds like such a sweetheart!</p> <p>I guess you could think of thrifting as a relatively reasonable form of entertainment, and also as a way of exploring new looks for you without breaking the bank. We all have to have some vices, and that's a pretty harmless one.</p> <p>I hear you about the stress eating- I have often been guilty of that, too, and have been trying hard to break the habit. Recognizing it is the first step in overcoming it.</p> <p>Thanks for sharing your revelations! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1002017 Fri, 09 Aug 2013 02:52:16 +0000 Suz 1002017@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wise realization, Shannon. Thanks for sharing with us and helping us learn. Have missed you this week! But I am glad you are resting and clarifying and glad that Mr. S helped you find your new booties.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001970 Fri, 09 Aug 2013 01:33:09 +0000 ManidipaM 1001970@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think Mr Shannon deserves an extra big treat this weekend, don't you? what a darling man!</p> <p>As for the shopping *and* eating to fill a void, I am right there with you. Some people panic-purchase before a special occasion. I hit the buy button because I haven't been on top of the laundry this week. Or the fridge is looking a little empty. Or I haven't had much sleep or time to read a book or enjoy a cup of coffee without multitasking. </p> <p>Yet as so many of us have found, shopping from a happier, more centred place usually makes for happier purchases. I wonder whether each object triggers a subconscious return to the mood of our first encounter with it? (Am I subtly donning some subliminal stress with those shoes?)</p> <p>Agree too with those who say it is better than some other forms of creative therapy (ahem: smoking), if misdirection to a long walk, a good clear-out, some polishing of silver or brass, singing/shrieking your lungs out or martial arts would seem difficult to initiate in that moment. Stress has to go somewhere! Or you go bust. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001953 Fri, 09 Aug 2013 00:58:34 +0000 lyn* 1001953@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aww, I hope you are feeling better. I use eBay for therapy too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001901 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 23:32:06 +0000 JulieJohn 1001901@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This was interesting, Shannon, thank you for putting it into words so we can all benefit. Mr. S. is a doll, give him a hug for all of us. I can relate to everything you said, and I just want you to know you are terrific. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001896 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 23:24:22 +0000 Carla 1001896@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Profound stuff, Shannon. Mr. S is a KEEP! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001879 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 22:51:19 +0000 Deborah 1001879@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I really appreciate your honest and open sharing here. And I agree that most of us have had the same if not similar experience. I know I have been there (probably am there a little at the moment). It really does seem to be about changing our mindset and then the discipline comes.. with all things. You remind me that life is a journey and I don't think we are ever 'there' but it is "the journey" that continues to refine us, provide growth opportunities and moves us forward. I keep telling myself wardrobe Nirvana is just around the corner!</p> <p>And I have to say just how gorgeous your DH is. And yes he obviously listens to you:) I was always sure what I said about fashion went in one ear and out the other with my DH until we were shopping one day and HE found my perfect white ceramic watch. We were in separate parts of the complex and he phoned me to tell me he thought he had found the watch I had been looking for and then described it to me in detail. Who knew </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001827 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 21:40:33 +0000 donnat 1001827@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I too can relate. I spent entirely too much time in V V this past winter, after 2 or 3 culls I figured it out. I was doing it for the immediate thrill and wore the things maybe once. Now I just don't let the stuff come home, unless it's really special. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001808 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 21:07:11 +0000 Debra 1001808@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can relate totally to this post........<br /> I too have put on a "few" kilo's, work has been super full on and stressful the last few months with us all Struggling to meet deadlines.<br /> I also have a pair of 'ORANGE' shoes looking at me???<br /> What was I thinking??? I don't even wear orange!!! Definitely a purchase when stressed </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001798 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 20:53:19 +0000 unfrumped 1001798@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Also, one of the most useful things, I think (not that I always do it!) is to try to substitute something else, rather than just say, I won't do.....<br />Now, don't sub in gambling--tracina is right on the better choice!<br />But some of the things I use are to&nbsp;refer to&nbsp; my&nbsp; &nbsp;list of "good for me" activities. It's like I&nbsp;should&nbsp;know what I ought to do, but I&nbsp;may actually&nbsp;have to see it on my list!&nbsp;&nbsp;While&nbsp;&nbsp;exercise or yardwork or housework are probably best for me and my environment, also included are things less intense like, &nbsp;write a note to a friend,&nbsp;arrange some flowers, look for a new recipe, have a nice cup of tea. Since YLF I can add, play in closet, since that may result in new outfits at no cost. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001772 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 19:56:16 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1001772@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>How sweet of your husband to remember your need for the boots--and for helping point out the wisdom of the purchase. Congratulations on your insights! Thanks for sharing them.<br />Somehow, I haven't been bitten by the thrifting bug. But I do overbuy, and I'm trying to be saner about my shopping. Reading about your experience helps. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001737 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 19:03:17 +0000 shedev 1001737@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm sure most of us have gone thru this at one time. We end up with a closet&nbsp; full of clothes and nothing to wear. It's one of the things that brings us to YLF. I would come home with bags full from the thrift stores. Now I come with one or two things, or nothing at all. It's tried on, and plays well in my closet. This is real food for thought. Thank you for posting. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001724 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 18:38:06 +0000 jayne 1001724@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, right there with you sister.&nbsp; I was just saying to myself today 'if only I spent as much time training as I do shopping'.&nbsp; How to kick the habit is what I am wondering? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001704 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 18:16:25 +0000 Anonymous 1001704@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sounds like you gained some really clarity and insight, Shannon. &nbsp;Thanks for sharing your thoughts. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001688 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 18:06:59 +0000 ironkurtin 1001688@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sing it, sister!&nbsp; I do the same - only it's eBay.&nbsp; Something about the gathering urge providing fulfillment.&nbsp; More power to you to understand what makes you tick! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001684 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 18:02:31 +0000 rachylou 1001684@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's true, what Gaylene says. Disatisfaction and being stuck - even if only for an hour or two - definitely leaves a void. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001676 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 17:56:08 +0000 Karie 1001676@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fantastic post, Shannon! Been there, done that, and the most important thing is that we get back on track.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001675 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 17:55:51 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1001675@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So relatable to so many of us. &nbsp;I have always said everything in moderation... anything in excess leans to unhealhty behavior.. &nbsp;some people never recognize the truth of this! &nbsp;Congratulations!!!!!! Stress is not our fieind and managing it is key... What works for me is music and dancingi, journaling , venting (sometimes we just need a witness)&nbsp;&nbsp;and exercising..&nbsp;<br />I hope you find somethings that work for you!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001671 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 17:55:13 +0000 Glory 1001671@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon this is so insightful but first let me say what an absolute darling Mr Shannon is - you made a wonderful partner choice in him! Those wedges sound fantastic and am looking forward to a picture of them.<br />I loved this post because I had to immediately do some introspection which is so useful.<br />I am not sure that the thrifting is such a bad thing if used as a stress reducer, is it? I can think of far worse things. I am hopeful that your stressors are reducing this year . xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001662 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 17:46:24 +0000 Nebraskim 1001662@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have often attended the "shopping to fill a void" party. How interesting to come across your post, as I read this today on jezebel.com. Bear in mind that the Jezzy site can be profane and snarky but also it has some great content. There's an actual study about this shopping to fill a void phenomenon. I'll post the link here: <a href="http://jezebel.com/no-amount-of-shopping-will-fill-the-hole-in-your-lonely-1065115360" rel="nofollow">http://jezebel.com/no-amount-o.....1065115360</a></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001647 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 17:38:53 +0000 Anonymous 1001647@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>YES "my name is Traci and I am a thrift-aholic"&nbsp; I thrift (and shop) to&nbsp;fill a void and I am trying to stop.&nbsp; I have cut back a lot.&nbsp; But a least thrifting is a relatively inexpensive hobby/addition.&nbsp; I live with in walking distance of Goodwill and a Casino, I think Goodwill is the safer&nbsp;bet.&nbsp; </p> <p>Anyway, great insights and I hope you can stay strong. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001631 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 17:29:08 +0000 rae 1001631@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a great realization, and thank you for sharing. Looking back, I can really relate and see how some of my own purchases were made out of boredom or loneliness rather than real joy over the item or a closet need. And you know you are so right that the ones bought out of a bad place never end up being favorites. Not always because of bad memories, but also because they weren't properly though out.&nbsp;</p> <p>Do you think that you will strive to stop thrifting to relieve stress, or do you think it will be built into your budget as kind of a disposable fund, more as like a "mental health" activity? I have cut back on swap meets because of all the purging... now I&nbsp;mostly order online, so stuff can go right back to the store when I realize what I've done. But sometimes I wonder if even that is unhealthy... don't really know! lol </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001630 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 17:28:38 +0000 unfrumped 1001630@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good aha moments!<br />I've been interested also to see how&nbsp;identifying&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;my wardrobe &nbsp;goals, and staying&nbsp;more focused,&nbsp;has helped --if I'm going to get a shopping fix, it needs to fix a wardrobe hole and open up new possibilities! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/catharsis-through-my-closet-long#post-1001619 Thu, 08 Aug 2013 17:19:10 +0000 Jules 1001619@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Of all the vices that people use to deal with stress,&nbsp;I would rate "thrifting" very low on the sin scale </p>