https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 25 Apr 2026 20:35:49 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check/page/2#post-1386410 Fri, 31 Oct 2014 01:12:03 +0000 Jules 1386410@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fashion related re: dress codes and how they can be difficult to write/uphold fairly: I was working at a suburban insurance office with a dress code when Capri pants became a huge thing one year (2000 I believe). Our dress code specified full-length pants... someone went spring shopping at a conservative store (Braemar? Canadian place now defunct) and asked the saleswoman to show her a single pair of pants she could buy for her office dress code... Not a chance. She emailed HR and they replied that they would not be updating the code. Another male colleague got called out for wearing collarless dress shirts. They were nice shirts and he dressed nicely overall, not hippy or anything, but I guess the code specified collars for men (which is actually rather sexist now that I think about it). We weren't in law or another area with a formal dress code, and we didn't see clients, so it all felt a bit much. And come to think of it not sure how I managed since I had no clothes, pretty sure I must have worn sandals for example.<br /> Tl dr; dress codes can be arbitrary! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check/page/2#post-1386377 Fri, 31 Oct 2014 00:30:33 +0000 elpgal 1386377@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Traci, if you do find out, please post and update us. I am very intrigued.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check/page/2#post-1386238 Thu, 30 Oct 2014 21:21:10 +0000 gradfashionista 1386238@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My coat has pockets in theory, but the keys ripped apart the lining, so I can't functionally use the pockets. Perhaps that is the case here? Or she doesn't want to keep valuables or medications in the pockets because things fall out, especially when you're sitting.<br />Eating disorders, certain medications, etc. can make people cold, in addition to general biological dispositions.<br />&nbsp;<br />&nbsp;<br />&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check/page/2#post-1386231 Thu, 30 Oct 2014 21:12:24 +0000 Anonymous 1386231@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am always freezing (and at 76F, I'd have my coat on too). When I was volunteering at Dress For Success, there was never any blazer and shirt combo that could keep me warm enough in the arctic A/C. Even my pleather jacket failed to insulate me properly. Silly as it sounds that is one of the main reasons I stopped volunteering there; it was <i>that</i> miserable.&nbsp;I really feel for anyone who is cold, but maybe you could at least get her to put her purse in a drawer. It sounds like she might not really be freezing, but is just a little stubborn, and maybe there's a bit of a power play going on (which would irritate me too)! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check/page/2#post-1386195 Thu, 30 Oct 2014 20:07:07 +0000 Classically Casual 1386195@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Written dress codes can be a mine field when they get too specific. I had a manager once who couldn't confront a particular employee, so he wrote a dress code. It was so funny I used to take it to parties for people to read.</p> <p>A thought, if she's cold now, what will she wear when winter sets in? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1386188 Thu, 30 Oct 2014 19:56:05 +0000 Flytigress 1386188@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Perhaps she's hiding a pregnancy? &nbsp;No idea about the purse though. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1386146 Thu, 30 Oct 2014 19:10:18 +0000 Traci 1386146@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks again for all the feedback.<br />To answer some of the questions, I don't think there are any safety or covering up issues going on. &nbsp;A little more background, she is a friend of the manager's daughter. &nbsp;The manager keeps telling me that her daughter does the same thing and so it is just what girls this age do. &nbsp;I think there's a little bit of mommying going on that is causing her to not deal with the situation appropriately.</p> <p>We're a very small clinic, so there are only 5 (3 of which are part time)&nbsp;non-clinical staff total. There's no HR department or anything like that.</p> <p>Ornella, I thought of that with the dress code. &nbsp;I don't want to impose a dress code when it's really about one silly thing. &nbsp;Honestly, I wouldn't have even thought to include "Don't wear your purse and coat" in a dress code before now. &nbsp;I've been googling dress code examples and many of them just give a general "Professional attire" statement, which is already what my verbal direction is to everyone on dress code.</p> <p>I'm not at all suprised that some of you find it less odd than others. &nbsp;I think it's definitely rather personal how one would react to such a thing. &nbsp;I'm just sort of stumped that the manager insists that she thinks this is the most common, normal behavior ever and she sees it in work places all over town every day.<br />I'm letting it drop, because this is certainly not worth a battle, but I will remain cognizant of the fact that neither she, nor the manager were concerned that her choices make both patients and clinicians feel uncomfortable. &nbsp;That's a pretty big deal for me because in our office it can be important to empathize with people who you may not agree with all the time.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1386117 Thu, 30 Oct 2014 18:15:45 +0000 elpgal 1386117@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Could she be facing domestic abuse and wearing the coat to hide bruisers? Needle scars? I don't have any theories re the purse. Wait I have one. Maybe she was a victim of crime and likes to keep her pepper spray within reach. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385939 Thu, 30 Oct 2014 12:24:48 +0000 Ornella 1385939@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not reading all other commentators, but weighing on the dress code issue - I was once in the team where the whole team was punished (as I saw it) by the policy caused by one person whom the leaders could not - or did not bother to -&nbsp;deal with in person. It felt odd, because we all knew why the policy was introduced! It made manager and her associate&nbsp;look even more&nbsp;cold and unapproachable (they were efficient at the job, but&nbsp;not "people's people" at all).&nbsp;</p> <p>Having said this,&nbsp;I think you are absolutely right to consider this odd if not&nbsp;inappropriate. Non-verbal communication signs&nbsp;are extremely important and there is no doubt that wearing <i>outerwear</i> indoors sends confusing signals to the customers. But, before talking to her,&nbsp;I'd try to back this up somehow and most definitely I'd try to find out why she feels more comfortable with those on. </p> </p> <p>ETA: Since you work at the hospital, I think you have even bigger cause for concern. Unless it's business associates,&nbsp;people do not come to hospitals for enjoyable reasons - but at the moments of weakness and vulnerability. This means all hospital staff must be sensitive to their issue, and not being approachable is a way to make&nbsp;things worse. This, btw, is the view and&nbsp;awareness of my former wonderful GP.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385865 Thu, 30 Oct 2014 05:08:15 +0000 AJ 1385865@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maybe she is unhappy with her body shape and the coat makes her feel less exposed. Not sure about the purse... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385860 Thu, 30 Oct 2014 04:02:43 +0000 Sveta 1385860@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maybe she is always late in the morning and does not have time to put other clothes on? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385822 Thu, 30 Oct 2014 02:17:33 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1385822@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yeah, this is weird, whatever age she is. The purse might be about wanting to have her phone close, or being concerned about security, but the coat is inexplicable. If it's that cold, a) they need to turn the heat up and b) she needs to wear warmer clothes to work. There are some jackets that skirt the line between outerwear and inside-wear, but this doesn't sound like anything like that. Besides, this is a medical office - even if she's not a clinical worker, she should adhere to an appropriate dress code. </p> <p>Part of being a receptionist is to be friendly and welcoming to customers/patients, not being off-putting and distracting, and wearing your coat and carrying your purse indoors all day is that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385784 Thu, 30 Oct 2014 01:17:25 +0000 deb 1385784@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think she is doing it so she can keep her cell close and check her text messages often. Very common in our new world of texting. Of coarse, I could be wrong. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385717 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 23:28:43 +0000 Deborah 1385717@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have never come across this before.&nbsp; My first thought was 'is she cold'.&nbsp; My second thought was 'is he hiding something under the coat', lack of professional attire, a weight issue, ????</p> <p>Has he been given a full and proper induction to the work place?&nbsp; Does she know that there is somewhere to hang her coat and store her bag?&nbsp; </p> <p>As a receptionist, a very large part of her job is to receive people and make them feel welcome.&nbsp; I would most certainly assume she was on her way out if she had her coat and bag on.&nbsp; I must admit it's not a good way to present at a front desk.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385643 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 21:10:22 +0000 Isabel 1385643@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is not a generational thing. You assessment is right on as a manager. There is something else going on here with her. If she is really into fashion, she may consider it part of her outfit. Otherwise, she be nervous at her new job and this is her security blanket ? Finally, is she afraid of someone stealing her things ? I think her manager should approach with kindness and a need to understand wahat is going on and ask her to work with her to place some strategies that will get her away from it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385532 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 17:45:44 +0000 rachylou 1385532@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, on the coat front... I wear my puffer indoors, only for indoors, all day. 76 F is not at all warm to me. Mind you, I'm accustomed to A) tropical weather and B) desert weather.</p> <p>The purse, that's odd.</p> <p>I have to add... if her manager says they see it all the time, the girl is not behaving inappropriately and is in-keeping with her department's standards. I wouldn't take aim at her. I'd take aim at the whole department and take it to HR. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385504 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 16:43:24 +0000 Irene 1385504@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think I used to work in a coat (not in a costumer service role) when my office was extremely cold. It wasn't comfortable or practical. If she's not cold there, there's no reason why she should be wearing a coat.<br />One of my colleagues (also young) used to ask me why I took my purse to the bathroom -ehem, time of the month, ehem-, so even that was weird. Going around with your purse in hand is just wrong.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385488 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 16:19:06 +0000 kkards 1385488@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>i'm wondering if this is her 1st "professional" job, and maybe she is wearing the coat all day because she doesn't have (and possibley can't afford) nice professional clothing. she maybe embarrassed by her wardrobe. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385476 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 15:46:47 +0000 MsMary 1385476@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That is odd, for sure.</p> <p>I think a specific dress code for all is the way to go here. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385473 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 15:35:42 +0000 crutcher 1385473@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would wonder what she has on or fails to have on under the coat...I am imagining pj's that she woke up too late to change, nothing as perhaps this is her definition of a turn on...her Halloween costume because she got the date wrong, a bridesmaid dress because she is in a wedding after work...This could go on and on...and I am laughing at myself...Tell the 20 something blessing that she needs to remove the coat, put the bag in the drawer and stay awhile...Too much... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385466 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 15:11:47 +0000 Gail 1385466@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm with Angie here I wonder if she is cold, the pocketbook I don't know lol. Very off putting though. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385465 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 15:11:29 +0000 retailgirl 1385465@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you need a dress code! Although those are difficult to draft and even more difficult to enforce. Where I work, wearing outerwear indoors would be considered weird, although not specifically mentioned in our dress code. Sometimes our associates will wear a North Face type fleece indoors...to me, it looks like outerwear but to them it's just a layer. I'm not sure how I feel about the cross body bag...if it was small, maybe yes. Many of our associates wear a lanyard with their IDs, locker key and a little bit of cash to get a snack on their breaks. But if you are in a customer facing role, you want to look approachable. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385457 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 15:01:37 +0000 Traci 1385457@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for the feedback!</p> <p>The purse is a cross body purse and the coat is a buttoned up wool peacoat.</p> <p>The responses I got from her manager were odd. 1. She's cold, so she wears the coat. This is odd bc one day it was 76 and everyone was commenting on the heat and she still wore the coat. 2. She needs the purse bc she had no pockets in her clothes. Except the coat she's wearing has pockets. 3. It's generational. All the kids do it and it is seen in customer service office roles all the time.</p> <p>At this point, I let my opinion be known that it's unprofessional looking and in dropping the issue. I'm considering implementing a specific dress code to save myself these types of issues.</p> <p>Oh, and someone mentioned it might be a safety concern. I asked about this too and was told is absolutely not a safety or personal property concern. I was told it's just how she's comfortable and even knowing it makes others less comfortable doesn't really sway her to change the behavior. This concerns me from a customer service perspective and I see it as a bit of a red flag.</p> <p>Thanks again for your insights. It is helpful to hear some of you would think not much of it and others would wonder about it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385452 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 14:39:13 +0000 Jules 1385452@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It'd be more important to me that she is approachable, is looking up and indicating she is available when people approach her or come in the door, etc - using appropriate non-verbal and verbal cues, basically. For example my friend worked in an office with a receptionist who would ignore people and keep her head down a lot, so incoming people then approached my friend who happened to sit in the same area, interrupting her work. If she isn't doing those things I'd complain. If she is appropriately approachable and the office is functioning,&nbsp;I wouldn't get into a debate with her manager re: her clothing. I agree her manager's response was a bit off and I don't agree with it but maybe you touched a nerve in some other way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385451 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 14:38:53 +0000 amiable 1385451@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I used to wear a coat and scarf all day long in my office - it was kept at 65 degrees F, which was just too chilly for me to be warm when I was basically just sitting all day long. &nbsp;If I had been up and moving, I could have kept warm - but I couldn't without a lot of layers at that particular desk.</p> <p>That said - perhaps she needs some better keeping-warm techniques.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385448 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 14:32:10 +0000 texstyle 1385448@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wonder if she has a safe locked place to keep her bag? In a new job maybe she feels she can't leave it unattended? The coat could be as others said - a way to keep warm in a cold office. A coat can also be worn when someone is really self conscious about their body. I once worked in an office where someone had a sweating disorder and would try to hide it that way.</p> <p>I would just ask right away so you can stop wondering. Then, when you know the reasons, you can determine what policy to put in place. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385446 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 14:29:59 +0000 Tina 1385446@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Agreeing with the others, I would think she was on he way out and I would find it off putting. I have way too much experience dealing with reception in the medical field and I can't recall ever seeing this.<br /> I really don't understand how it being a generational thing has any bearing on whether or not it's appropriate. If she's cold she should be given a heater or bring indoor layers to keep warm.<br /> I also agree that she needs to be asked, in a non confrontational way, if there are any particular reasons for her attire. I'm sure a purse could be stored nearby. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385433 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 14:02:53 +0000 Suz 1385433@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am with Angie. I think it would be a good idea to ask her what's going on. If she is freezing cold, maybe that can be addressed in other ways.&nbsp;</p> <p>If she is making a fashion statement of some kind, then I agree with you that this is where "personal expression" should probably end. Unless the "coat" is indoor weight (like a long jacket). If I saw a receptionist wearing coat and holding a bag, I would hesitate to ask her any questions for fear of "bothering" her as she returned from her break.&nbsp;</p> <p>I have never heard or seen this as a "generational" thing but maybe it is regional? Although if your daughter doesn't understand it, that is also unlikely.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385432 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 14:02:09 +0000 Diana 1385432@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with you. This is strange. I would find it uncomfortable as well, since the coat and bag are probably restricting her movement. (I personally would not be able to do my job with those items on, but even with a "sitting" job I'd find it restrictive. </p> <p>I don't think it's an age thing. I've never seen a receptionist or any other public-facing employee wearing their coat all day, unless they're outdoors. Honestly I *would* as a client find it offputting.</p> <p>Maybe she is cold? But my solution would be to bring a sweater! Or ask for a space heater. </p> <p>If she wants her bag with her at all times, I can understand that. But why not put it on the desk in front of her? Wouldn't that be more comfortable? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-i-get-a-reality-check#post-1385414 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 13:41:13 +0000 Angie 1385414@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Do you mean that the young lady&nbsp;wears a coat and crossbody bag while sitting at reception in a customer facing role? I would probably find that a little odd, but would also&nbsp;forget about it in a split second.&nbsp;</p> <p>Has anyone asked her why she prefers to keep these pieces on indoors? Perhaps she's cold, and there is something in her bag that she wants closeby.&nbsp; </p>