https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 08 May 2026 11:24:53 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-932325 Tue, 14 May 2013 21:12:54 +0000 T-Rex 932325@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes, if I could have only one or the other, I would choose being taken seriously. Being pretty is a very good thing, but not being taken seriously would make me have screaming fits.&nbsp;<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-932279 Tue, 14 May 2013 20:08:10 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 932279@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am laughing at the link T-Rex posted! It's funny because it's so close to the truth! <br />I have to say, DV, that I would be flattered to be called pretty. And sometimes I think I would give up any claims to being taken seriously, if that's what it would take to be unquestionably pretty. But I know I wouldn't really be happy if people didn't take me seriously; in fact, I couldn't bear that.<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-932266 Tue, 14 May 2013 19:42:30 +0000 T-Rex 932266@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Dstalksalot, you are welcome. And good luck with the job search! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-929325 Fri, 10 May 2013 04:54:18 +0000 Adelfa 929325@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Re: drop dead--it's very rare I've encountered that but yes, it's entirely disconcerting and not really pleasant when it happens.<br /><br />I think of pretty as an asset to professional success. &nbsp;Quite easy to be taken seriously if you wield it well. The head of our agency is gorgeous (and pretty and beautiful--they're not the same but she is all of the above, the sweet spot on the Venn diagram) and also the sound of her voice is beautiful. We all take her seriously.<br /><br />Growing up in the sixties and seventies I definitely believed in the smart vs pretty dichotomy. I also believed that true beauty knew no artifice, and that any other kind was not worth having, so it took me forever to learn to wear makeup, style my hair, etc.<br /><br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-928690 Thu, 09 May 2013 15:08:45 +0000 Vildy 928690@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think of Roy Orbison growling and it works for me.<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPWwGFSBZn0" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPWwGFSBZn0</a><br /><br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-928568 Thu, 09 May 2013 13:43:36 +0000 dizzys 928568@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ T-Rex thank you. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-917711 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 18:45:44 +0000 rachylou 917711@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Perhaps pretty is associated with young people because there's a sense that beauty requires the depth borne of maturity and experience. <br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-917500 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 15:17:15 +0000 Ginkgo 917500@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have also never thought of "pretty" as meaning juvenile, and from my observations of a few decades of work, being pretty (applies to others, not me) did not keep women from being taken seriously; &nbsp;they had the necessary skills, ability to present themselves, and good office politics. &nbsp;But of course a lot of pretty women didn't advance either.<br /><br />Cute is an adjective I use for children but as others have said, I'd use it for an adult in referring to her outfit or total look.<br /><br />To me, feminine is not the same as girlish or twee, but it seems to me on the forum that frequently a feminine look is not held in high regard and considered girlish. Guess my rule is that pink ruffles would be twee, but neutral or dark ruffles are adult. &nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-917445 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:26:40 +0000 Irene 917445@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think I'm getting lost in translation here.<br /><br />I always understood 'pretty' as in 'fine looking' or 'rather attractive yet not truly beautiful'. Also a feminine adjective, like you wouldn't call a man/boy 'pretty'. I never thought it would sound juvenile though!<br /><br />Pleas enlighten me here? :)<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-917408 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 13:40:37 +0000 T-Rex 917408@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Dstalksalot, do you have a friend with experience interviewing people who could do some mock interviews with you? It's sometimes hard to tell what we are doing right or wrong when we are trapped inside our own heads. A frank critique from a professionally minded friend could give you insight into how you are presenting yourself in a way that you just can't get on your own. <br /><br />If you don't have someone like that in your life, maybe try this. If you feel that an interviewer likes you personally, but you still don't get the job, try getting in touch with him or her later and ask for honest feedback. The worst they could do is say no. &nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-917398 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 13:31:50 +0000 T-Rex 917398@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Found it!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iU2HFUXaU" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iU2HFUXaU</a> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-916773 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 20:28:30 +0000 T-Rex 916773@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Pretty, to me, is completely unrelated to being taken seriously. Pretty, beautiful, cute, etc. are overlapping terms in my personal dictionary. A person can be one, more than one, or potentially all of them. I do use "cute" sometimes when referring to adult women, but I am usually&nbsp;thinking of&nbsp;what they are wearing as a component of how they look to me. As in "you look really cute" is another way to say "that's a cute outfit, and you look good in it".<br /><br />I remember hearing one of my best friends refer to several young girls dressed for their Quinceanera as "lovely", and I thought that was the best descriptor she could have chosen. It seemed to imply something more than "pretty", but I find it difficult to describe what it is. It's as though "pretty" is on the surface, but "lovely" implies a glow from within. BTW, she is a linguist. She puts effort into finding the perfect word for the occasion. <br /><br />I've been known to use the word "handsome" when referring to a woman, which does not mean I think she looks like a man. I believe this word pops into my head when I see a beautiful woman who has a strong, distinctive&nbsp;bone structure, if that makes any sense. Surface beauty, or prettiness, or cuteness may change or fade over time. A handsome woman will be handsome no matter how old she is, because the architecture will still be there. <br /><br />And finally, I remember a pretty funny bit about all these terms from an episode of&nbsp;News Radio. I can't look for it now, but I'll post it if and when I find it. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-916573 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:54:11 +0000 rachylou 916573@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I will ponder today at lunch whether there is overlap between pretty and beautiful (and I will, <i>sicher</i>, because that is sooo me). In one way I'm inclined to say no, but in another - I feel they have a similar <i>attractive </i>effect.<br /><br />I will also ponder where drop dead goes, because I don't think it has the same attractive nature. It has a brain paralysing, eye-burning effect. It's a thrill, like an electric shock, and not necessarily enjoyable in the same way. I mean, <i>for real,</i> people did not like to be near No Socks. There would be people going in and out of the kitchen for little rest breaks.<br /><br />The pretty or intelligent question... an interesting one. The sort of thing one contemplates in middle school, and it's pretty critical one in determining your path to success. No one asks beautiful or intelligent, tho. That's probably telling. Anyways, I think all "high potential" middle schoolers know it's better to be pretty. Pretty gets you perks and you don't have to <i>do </i>anything. Intelligence, tho, och! The suffering! Everybody is so <i>freeking slow!</i><br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-916083 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 03:58:52 +0000 Freckles 916083@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ A very interesting conversation.<br /><br />I've always thought both pretty and cute were compliments, neither referring to youth or weakness. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-916065 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 03:25:54 +0000 Aziraphale 916065@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Joy, I think (or at least, I hope) things have changed.&nbsp; When I was in high school in the 80s, you got bonus points for being both pretty and intelligent.&nbsp; Extra bonus points if you also had personality.&nbsp; ;-)<br /><br />Haha, Suz, Venn diagram.&nbsp; I'd forgotten about those.&nbsp; Don't we need three terms to draw one?&nbsp; Pretty, beautiful, attractive, maybe?<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-916058 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 03:14:34 +0000 Anonymous 916058@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is another one of those amazing discussions. Growing up in the 50s, there were girls who were pretty and girls who were intelligent and it seemed impossible to be both. I would probably take bring called pretty an insult then. There is still some of this thinking around, but I hope that females can be recognized as both today.<br /> Didn't President Obama recently get criticized for calling a woman pretty or attractive (even though she is)? We were in Japan and I didn't get the details. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-916037 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 02:49:57 +0000 Suz 916037@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think Rachylou's right that there's a distinction between pretty and beautiful (though perhaps they can overlap to a degree...Venn diagram, anyone?? ....where does "drop dead" go?) I also think Shevia's right that neither precludes being taken seriously. But either <b>might</b> make it more difficult.&nbsp;<br /><br />I take "pretty" as a compliment, too.&nbsp;<br /><br />It's partly about taking care, isn't it. We "pretty ourselves." If someone says we are pretty they are noticing that we have attended to the details.&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-916026 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 02:25:02 +0000 Jaime 916026@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Very intrigued by Rachylou's distinction between pleasant and non-disturbing pretty and pleasant and disturbing beautiful. Neither precludes being taken seriously nor assures it.<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-915966 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 01:37:39 +0000 Anonymous 915966@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Are you kidding me Rachy? I know exactly what you mean. I had one of those no socks moments at my dentist office years ago. I swear, had I been single at the time, I would have made a move. That is also how I would feel if I ever meet Keanu Reeves in person, one day. I am waiting for Una to hook me up.You are a hoot. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-915878 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 00:27:17 +0000 Day Vies 915878@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I agree Rachy -- I saw a young man in the sandwich shop today I could barely place my order because he was so distractingly gorgeous. Drop dead gorgeous male or female tends to turn most people into yes people.<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-915864 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 00:18:56 +0000 Deborah 915864@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I haven't had time to read all the comments but I will go back.&nbsp; Just wanted to confirm that I do think "pretty" can be taken seriously.&nbsp; And I do see being called pretty as a compliment:)&nbsp; I think like most things "pretty" has many modes.&nbsp;We are bombarded by media advertisements of 'pretty' young things wearing skimpy outfits promoting soft drinks for example but that is not the kind of pretty I was thinking of when I made the comment on DV's post.&nbsp;When I think about it, it was the femininity of the look that led me to 'pretty".&nbsp; I fear I may have an unconscious association of pretty with the very young, how often do we find ourselves referring to a little girl as pretty? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-915846 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 00:05:15 +0000 rachylou 915846@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I had a thought: There is another category, <i>drop dead gorgeou</i>s. It's different from pretty or beautiful or gorgeous. I can't say what it is in a woman, but I have seen it in a man. There was a guy we called No Socks. He was so drop dead, people would see him and then leave the room laughing.<br /><br />You know, coming to have a look-see and then laughing is exactly what attractive isn't. Isn't that weird?<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-915812 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 23:41:51 +0000 dizzys 915812@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Lyn-nice! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-915789 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 23:29:41 +0000 Nicole D 915789@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I find "pretty" is a guy term. &nbsp;My husband's highest accolade! I think pretty has a feminine&nbsp;connotation&nbsp;but not necessarily youthful as other have said. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-915787 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 23:27:10 +0000 lyn* 915787@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Or sometimes I let them stand.<br /><br />"Oh... I forgot money to buy coffee. DOES ANYONE HAVE MONEY TO BUY COFFEE?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-915783 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 23:25:40 +0000 dizzys 915783@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Lyn, Your thoughts on the subject are interesting as you are in the medical field. Something people think of as cold and sterile.....although that may not be the case with therapy... I'm not sure. Your style is very friendly and light. I imagine it works for your purposes most of the time quite nicely. You can always deflect assumptions with your brain. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously/page/2#post-915770 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 23:17:11 +0000 Caro in Oz 915770@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't see pretty as conveying any "weakness" or being associated with youth&nbsp;but I guess some do.&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously#post-915759 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 23:10:24 +0000 dizzys 915759@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Interesting topic. I will be rereading some text. I have been on this forum for a very short time and have to say, your style or look does not project juvenile or cute....the word pretty could denote a bit of juvenile or cute...maybe. I suppose it depends on how its said....you are classic beautiful and strong. I am straddling the line of juvenile and cute.....I find my self attracted to the ice cream cone or Scotty dog prints in the Jr. Dept. I love pink and Peter Pan collars etc. I am a bit whimsical and I wonder how I am perceived. I think I don't take my self seriously but I am capable and smart and loyal. I am working on confidence though.... I think that is the key to a lot! ( gone through a million interviews with little luck and wondering how I should change my first impression.) https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously#post-915753 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 23:06:05 +0000 lyn* 915753@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Whenever I hear "pretty" I think airhead too - and I think that it happens a lot to me, when people think that I'm basically just sweet and butterflies and twirly skirts (and they're kinda right). I think my "uglier" colleagues are taken more seriously, because it seems like they don't really have distractions, but people tend to ask me about family (spouse) and if I have children. Some of my frump-tastic colleagues never get asked about stuff like this. Alternatively, it may be that I am just more open to personal conversation.<br /><br />I don't mind being pretty (I may twirl when I am alone) - and I think as a clinician I sometimes use that to my advantage, especially when I project "put together" pretty, not necessarily bimbo airhead pretty. When people think I'm honest-to-goodness sweet, it seems like I don't really have a hidden agenda, and patients are more forthcoming with me.&nbsp;<br /><br />What comes to mind for me is that I have a colleague who is very conventionally beautiful and wears very tailored clothes - you could stick her in France or Italy on any old day and she'd just belong there - and I think people think she is more cold or has a nasty attitude, even though she is a very nice and considerate person.&nbsp;<br /><br />I smile a lot as well - and tend to use a lot of humour (as appropriate) and empathetic statements - but that's also part of the therapeutic persona (which of course, is grounded in who I am as a person).&nbsp;<br /><br />I think "pretty" is good for taking people off guard too, and it is also useful for when you need someone to help you do things :p Like lift heavy boxes. Or do car things when you're kinda stuck. Tee hee. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/can-adult-women-project-pretty-and-be-taken-seriously#post-915664 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 21:40:13 +0000 K. Period. 915664@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I definitely think yes, but I would add this qualification: as long as pretty is being used to lightly say attractive or beautiful. &nbsp;To me, attractive and beautiful both have much more forceful connotations. A woman who is attractive or beautiful is also strong. Pretty is a fabulous word when used among women with respect for each other as a light way of saying attractive or beautiful. I think that is why, among all the great women on the forum, pretty feels so comfortable and carries no negative connotations. &nbsp;Outside the forum, in a professional context, it is an entirely different word. &nbsp;&nbsp;