https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 14 Apr 2026 23:36:54 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2162724 Tue, 29 Dec 2020 22:21:09 +0000 cindysmith 2162724@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jules, I'm starting to see that the disconnect, which certainly FEELS weird, is actually pretty normal LOL </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2162718 Tue, 29 Dec 2020 21:24:32 +0000 Jules 2162718@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think this is that unusual for someone who isn't that focused on their weight day to day. Gradual change just isn't that noticeable. Our brains trick us a bit into seeing what we already expect when we look in the mirror - it's why seeing a photo, webcam image or looking in a new mirror can be a bit shocking sometimes, like "oh shit I got old!" I also find that in middle age I don't notice other people's size fluctuations very much, and when I do I tend not to comment for many reasons. People might start to notice when you do get those new clothes though. Or even if you changed your hair - the something new causes people to reevaluate. All this to say I don't see the "disconnect" as unhealthy or weird at all.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2162255 Fri, 25 Dec 2020 19:51:50 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2162255@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not to be disagreeable, but I think we should all get clothes that fit us, even my sister who has gone from a busty size 8 as a young woman to barely being able to keep the weight on to wear a size 2. Rings of Saturn indeed! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2162254 Fri, 25 Dec 2020 19:47:19 +0000 cindysmith 2162254@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lucy, I totally get it. I will never understand women's clothing sizes. A women's size 2 has as much to do with the size of a woman's body as a bag of flour has to the rings of Saturn LOL (and thank you for the kind words XOXO)</p> <p>Fashintern, my bank's app does categorize every swipe. I'm just not looking at it because it's more black and white undeniability LOL </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2162219 Fri, 25 Dec 2020 11:34:10 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2162219@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lucy’s last statement is so true and we are all lucky to know you here! </p> <p>Want to cheat on your homework? I bet your bank has budgeting tools that will take at least a first stab at categorizing everything, so you just have to make adjustments. But all the pizza, etc seems not to have done too much harm—look where you are!<br /> Merry Christmas to you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2162209 Fri, 25 Dec 2020 03:36:45 +0000 Lucy 2162209@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Here’s a Christmas fable on why clothing sizes are irrelevant , even ridiculous . I’m in Australia , so our sizing is different to the US (I think we deduct 2 sizes off, so a size 10 here is a size 6 for you??). I would have said I’m an Australian 10-12. </p> <p>Anyway , under the tree for me were 2 jumpsuits (both size 8); one dress (size 10); one dress size M (a 12 I think); some pyjamas (14) . So I’ve run the gamut of sizes from 8-14 ... this is perhaps why I find online shopping hard .... </p> <p>Best of luck for all the amazing changes you are making - you don’t just look fab, but you are fab ! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2162194 Fri, 25 Dec 2020 01:12:24 +0000 cindysmith 2162194@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>BJ, thank you! It's scary, and part of me is ready to quit already because I know what's lurking in those bank records. Lots and lots of pizza, ordered while hangry at work, and lots of work clothes that don't fit anymore LOL </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2162188 Thu, 24 Dec 2020 23:41:30 +0000 bj1111 2162188@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>coaching is transformational.&nbsp; pretty excited for your journey.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2162159 Thu, 24 Dec 2020 19:54:50 +0000 cindysmith 2162159@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz, I totally hate that constricting feeling, which is why I do NOT like blazers, so I kind of get your mom a little. I just kept wearing the same one size too big tops until they were several sizes too big and never noticed. I've just started working with a mentor/coach to try and embark on a new career path and the 1st few video sessions have focused on money/personal finance. I'll buy smaller pants because plumber's crack isn't a good look for me, but the tops will do for now, and some that I was considering donating or consigning will stay in my closet and actually get worn :-)</p> <p>Fashintern, I'm hesitant to spend too much on new pants right now just in case I keep losing volume. That's probably a good thing considering I've just been handed homework from my mentor that involves looking back through my bank records for the last 3 months and categorizing each expenditure. It's going to be as miserable as all that writing i did around my step work when i got clean (sober); i will be faced with the ugly truth in black and white undeniability </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2162151 Thu, 24 Dec 2020 17:28:18 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2162151@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hooray for healthy living that eventually works its way down to our bodies! Cindysmith, I’m about to fall off that wagon too—my son confirms it better than any mirror. Let’s take care of ourselves and that will take care of size fluctuations </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2162149 Thu, 24 Dec 2020 17:23:26 +0000 Suz 2162149@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Cindy,</b> I think you've accurately diagnosed the issue. COVID stress! It has been really hard to get a handle on things. Everyone's world has been topsy turvy, and your year has been even more stressful than most.&nbsp;</p> <p>But even in calmer times, it can be difficult for some people to see themselves accurately when body changes occur, or even when they don't. My mother was a few inches taller than her sisters and had wide square shoulders and grew up in that era when clothes were sized smaller, and she also gained, then lost significant weight in mid life. All her life, she thought of herself as "big" (even though, objectively, she was not -- not at all). And she'd routinely take size 14s into the change room when she was really a size 4. She hated anything constricting on her shoulders but that led her to buy shirts and tops that were much too large, truly hanging off her.&nbsp;</p> <p>I lost weight this summer without really intending to. I mean, I'd gained a bit more than was good for me, so I wasn't sorry to see the weight go...but the thing is, I don't have a scale and didn't have a full length mirror set up, so I really didn't <b>notice </b>the weight loss until a few forum members commented. And I didn't know the extent of it until I tried on my fall clothes and they fit completely differently. Hmmm....</p> <p>Luckily, I had a pile of stuff in my holding zone that I'd been planning to pass on as too tight. I just swapped last year's jeans for the older ones and it's all good. And my top size had not changed at all.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2162128 Thu, 24 Dec 2020 14:21:28 +0000 cindysmith 2162128@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Toronto girl, targeted marketing is so annoying! I look at a pair of shoes and ads for those shoes pop up on news websites, completely unrelated ecommerce sites like vitamins, everywhere I go those shoes will pop up. It annoys me so much that I actually lose interest in a pair of shoes that I was seriously considering.</p> <p>Phoebe, you are on to something. When I look in the mirror, I see the waistline and thighs and I don't see the relationship between those parts and the entire body. If I did look at the entire body, I'd see that actually, it's pretty much well proportioned.</p> <p>Anchie, I definitely haven't been trying to lose weight. I've been trying to adopt healthier habits, ESPECIALLY since covid-19 became a thing. I'm even vaping less, and I have always been determined to hang on to my nicotine habit. I've been thinking about heart health and eating better foods, I've been taking supplements to hopefully combat osteoporosis and heart problems, but I had given up on ever seeing smaller numbers on scales and size tags. I was ok with my weight and size, I am 50 years old now and dealing with hormonal changes, chronic pain from car accidents in my past... now that you have me thinking about this, I'm suddenly realizing that I've been out of BOTH of my pain meds for a week or more and I'm not hurting like I would have expected for being out of my naproxen and muscle relaxer. My word, covid-19 has really upended my world! I've been so busy with work (I am essential, apparently, because I know my produce and firewood), I have NOT been paying attention to myself. I've been practicing self-care to a certain extent: my nightly piece of chocolate, various forms of aromatherapy (shower gels, lotions, candles, incense, you name it), beautiful music while I'm sleeping... but I haven't had much time for yoga and the gym like pre-covid, and those things really kept me in tune with my body. Covid-19, car problems, home maintenance issues, zoom 12 step meetings when I can. I've been more overwhelmed than I realized, and I've simply been in survival mode since January when word of a novel coronavirus started making the news reports. I've been so focused on getting through this alive that I've failed to listen to my body. I also haven't been paying attention to signals from others; now that I'm thinking about it I'm realizing that the Armani S.A. looked at me like I was insane when I told him 12 or 14. Simply thinking about it in terms like trying to lose weight, you've got me understanding how on earth I didn't notice. I WASN'T trying to lose weight so I wasn't paying attention to weight or size. </p> <p>Carla, you're only 5'7"? I would have thought you were at least 3" taller than me from your WIW pics! And because of covid-19, I haven't had occasion to wear my more tailored stuff, just the loose/comfy/relaxed stuff that's great for hanging out at home; the garments are looser because who wants to feel restricted/constricted when they're reading or crocheting? Unrelated, my mom has always gotten me to put on her shoes and stomp around the house in them to stretch them out if they're too tight and she wants a quick break-in, but I can't do it anymore because me feet have gotten both longer and wider over the years so I can't get my foot into her shoes anymore LOL</p> <p>Y'all have given me some great perspective and helped me see all the little factors that contributed to this disconnect. Thank you very much! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161934 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 17:04:55 +0000 Carla 2161934@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LOL! &nbsp;Just this week my mother volunteered that she would be sending me a package containing clothes she no longer wears because they are too small, and “when things get tight on me, they usually fit you”. Mom is at least an inch shorter than I, and 40 lbs heavier (and very mistaken about what fits me!) &nbsp;</p> <p>I’m in that tall-not tall height range of 5ft 7in. &nbsp;Having spent most of my life in areas where the population has a heavy French influence and very petite women, I’ve always felt like ‘a big girl’. &nbsp;I tend to shop the larger sizes, and then have to exchange or go back and size down.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161922 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 16:34:22 +0000 anchie 2161922@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>First, I want to say how great your skin looks and such fun glasses.<br /> On the topic of weight and body changes - I think it is normal not to notice gradual changes, especially if you were not trying to lose weight. It is easier to notice if you wear tailored clothes, or if you have a habit of regularly weighing yourself, but if you are wearing oversized or stretchy clothes that can tolerate weight fluctuations it can be more difficult to spot and come as a surprise. It happened to me couple of times in both directions - I realized that I am gaining weight only when my clothes became so uncomfortably tight or that I am loosing when I needed belt to keep pants from falling down.<br /> And in regards to sizing- I think I always looked bigger than my actual size. When I was heaviest I wore 42EU which I don’t think is such a big size, but I did look very overweight and everyone assumed that I wear bigger size than that. I got presents in too big sizes and had SAs bringing me too big sizes<br /> to dressing room. Even now when I wear 34EU which is often smallest size available in stores, I don’t look small or thin - just normal and average that translates to about size 38EU and what most people assume I am now (not Angie though - she correctly estimated my size in seconds LOL ) . I don’t know how to explain that and why I look bigger than other people who wear the same size. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161910 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 16:10:47 +0000 Anonymous 2161910@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Agreeing with Sal that context can affect perception of our physical selves.&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;When I look in the mirror alone I am more focused on my proportions, and how big or small particular body parts, for example thighs (!) look. I don't actually feel small around anyone, no matter how big or tall they are.&nbsp;</p> <p>But when I see myself next to my older daughter or husband, both tall, in reflections or photos I'm always surprised at how much smaller I look overall. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161906 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 15:51:21 +0000 Helena 2161906@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cindy this is a great thread! I agree with all the comments about clothing sizing being a completely unreliable gauge of anything ... Even within a brand, never mind across brands. </p> <p>I also think a changing body can take a long time to get used to ... For example I mentioned the other day I've only just copped on that I need to size up in tops, even though I've been the same weight for probably 7 years lol!</p> <p>Finally, regardless of our awareness, the fact is that all the advertising does it's job ... In fact it's almost more insidious when we are aware, because we sometimes think we are immune. My last full time job was at a database company and my job was to coordinate data for targeted marketing campaigns ... For example, if the product was acne skincare, we might say, ok pull all the data for females age 13-19 ... And hey presto, all those girls got the suggestion that they might want to scrutinize their skin to see if product x might help them ... Multiple that by all the products and all the messages and it just gets into our heads. And that was 15 years ago - before social media was a factor!? So your awareness NOW while frustrating is actually a win. Sorry that was long! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161901 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 15:05:56 +0000 cindysmith 2161901@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shevia, you just cooked my noodle with that explanation of various sizing systems around the world. It DID help explain why some items I've bought at thrift shops that say size 2 on the label actually fit me even though I KNOW that I am NOT a size 2 American. I am definitely much leaner than I was at the beginning of the year and I haven't been able to go to the gym because my coronapocalypse work schedule has been nutso and I'm scared of coronacooties. I'm curious what my workout gear fits like now :-)</p> <p>Jessiekams, I don't have a scale either. That might be why there's some disconnect--if I had a scale that I stepped on regularly, I might have been noticing the change as it gradually happened.</p> <p>Rachylou, YES YES and more YES. I once read a piece about size discrepancies that explained how factories cut a whole stack of items in one pass, and the top of the stack will be a different size than the bottom of the stack. It makes me want to go bespoke once it's safe to get that intimate with a tailor/sewer without having to worry about contracting covid-19.</p> <p>Slimcat, not having anywhere to go means I've been wearing the soft, comfy stuff more, which I tend to buy even larger than I buy my regular clothes. That could definitely be contributing to me not noticing changes in my body. I might need to actually go see the doctor and reevaluate my meds. If I'm this much leaner, I might not need all these meds for cholesterol and blood pressure and such?</p> <p>Sun tiger, I have been eating differently. I've been craving protein rich foods, and my nightly piece of chocolate is something to look forward to which helps keep any desire for carbs to a minimum. Good grief, I REALLY haven't been paying attention to my body and its signals :-0 </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161894 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:43:55 +0000 Anonymous 2161894@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Our bodies are so very changeable, any change in food choices or (especially) exercize can make a huge difference. Clothes and bodies are all different dimensions, even within size numbers, height, weight...That 6 on you will fit completely different than same on me! </p> <p>I personally learned a hard lesson about the disconnect between the age I look and feel and my chronological age this year. Sometimes the mirror lies </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161862 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 07:12:23 +0000 slim cat 2161862@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm loosing and gaining weight again this year - partially because I've been back to work since mid-June ( and because of extra stress that goes with it ). Sizes are confusing somewhat for me too. I've got recently jacket from All Saints and still not sure what size it is ( maybe 4 - it said so on the tag, or 2 - go figure ).&nbsp;<br />You for sure lost some softness and gain more muscle - the weight didn't change too much but the body' shape, the curves may changed more than you know and the clothes fit you differently. It's easier to notice when something is too tight, less so when it's looser than before&nbsp;<br />( at least that was my experience ).&nbsp;I guess your wardrobe needs to be evaluated and all the clothes - tried&nbsp;( some pictures/selfies could help ).</p> <p>You look great in the new glasses - love the new shades !&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161844 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 03:23:44 +0000 rachylou 2161844@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, it’s interesting. Sizes have changed, and companies have gotten absolutely terrible at making garments of the same size nominally ACTUALLY the same size. If I think I take a certain size in a certain brand and it’s not fitting, I will often try another in the same size and that does the trick.</p> <p>Also, I don’t think it’s that easy to know a person’s size or weight from looking unless you have a lot of practice. Shape effects impression as well. And then there is the effect of one’s mirror. And measures don’t tell you the whole story. So many factors. I mean I can only ballpark 10 oz of dough after making thousands of baguettes! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161840 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 03:16:12 +0000 Jessikams 2161840@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hear ya! I’m having sorta the opposite problem but either way the disconnect is jarring, right? I don’t have a scale right now and that might be part of the problem. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161837 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 03:00:21 +0000 Jaime 2161837@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It sounds like you have added muscle while losing fat and therefore are much smaller than 4 lbs. less sounds, if that makes sense. But to your original question yes, as a person with good sense of spatial relations and the ability to assess size pretty well without trying on or measuring, I still am often surprised by how I look in pictures.<br />Side note: European sizing is tricky, especially on yoox. Italian sizes are typically 2-3 sizes larger than French sizes, which are one size larger than EU sizes. UK sizes are typically two sizes larger than American sizes and are especially tricky because the numbers overlap. Which is all apart from the old French system of 1,2,3 etc, which I still find in some French brands. And that is just staying in Europe. Japanese sizing is a whole other story. And vintage sizing. I could write an essay obviously but I will stop. Oh one more, Italian shoes often run bigger than EU shoes of the same size. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161831 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 02:31:25 +0000 cindysmith 2161831@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Echo, I had lost about 20 pounds from my largest, which occurred in 2018 when I was going through treatment for hepatitis-c, but because I had been going to the gym so much I plateaued there for a while and didn't really lose a lot of clothing sizes. I stepped on a scale for the first time in months and months last week, and I was only 4 pounds lighter, which seems weird but can probably be explained by the nature of my work this fall, lots of physical labor. I have almost always bought my tops a size larger than I actually am because I like my tops looser most of the time, which probably made it difficult to notice that they were getting even looser. You've definitely got me thinking about the reasons my brain hasn't caught up, and it seems less befuddling when seen through that line of thought.</p> <p>Sal, I'm kind of average height, 5 feet 7 inches, but I have long arms and legs with a short torso. I'm definitely taller than a lot of ladies I know even though I'm not technically "tall". I've definitely noticed that what would be a size 0 today would probably have been a size 4 in the 90s (when I was wearing size 4), so it's extremely weird to be wearing pants that are a size 6 when I know for a fact that I'm bigger than a size 6 was in the 90s. That's certainly cooked my noodle a time or three, and may be part of the disconnect I'm experiencing now. </p> <p>Again, lots of good insight, and I'm grateful to have the help in wrapping my mind around it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161829 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 02:16:56 +0000 cindysmith 2161829@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa, I'm still buying skinny jeans just like the last several years, and I have noticed that some of them are too loose; I just didn't realize HOW loose they actually were. I figured I had lost a pants size, but it was actually 2 to 3 sizes depending on brand (lack of standardized sizing is definitely confusing LOL). I hadn't really paid attention with tops since I like my tops a bit loose anyway, but now I'm thinking I'm probably in need of a major try-on session with my tops and get some feedback from you guys about fit.</p> <p>Fashintern, I don't see my strong arms as a negative, just as a challenge to fit properly in many tops and toppers. It's why I LOVE knits and sleeveless tops, right? I hate trying to find things that FIT my arms and shoulders, but I'm proud of them in spite of that. I've worked my arse off to strengthen those parts after running into the need for physical therapy back in 2018, and I'm ok with just wearing sleeveless and knit tops to accommodate the muscles. The only part of my body that I feel a bit negative about is my midsection, and even at my most ridiculously thin during my active addiction, I felt that way about my waistline so I just learned to dress in a way that "camouflages" my middle when I'm feeling bloated or fluffy. However, if I'm fitting into pants that are 2-3 sizes smaller than I thought I was, there's a disconnect happening there. I don't even know that I noticed the pants getting looser until just recently, when I had to start worrying about plumber's crack at work LOL. And the moment I discovered Yoox I had to start learning my size in multiple countries' sizing systems, and I never thought about it before but they ARE all even numbers. Weird</p> <p>Janet, I had given up on ever seeing a size 6 pair of pants in my closet again. I'm shocked at how much my body has changed without me even noticing until I realized I had plumber's crack at work. It's the kind of thing I once obsessed over; maybe I've just come to a healthier attitude about it, much like your attitude of wanting to have healthy habits and a healthy bod, and that's why I didn't notice the changes as they were happening. Wow, you've really given me some profound insight!</p> <p>Thank you, ladies, you've given me much to think on in a very good way! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161826 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 02:06:45 +0000 Sal 2161826@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think this is a real thing - and I have seen it both ways - smaller and bigger.</p> <p>I also think that the confusion over sizing- different between brands, and between now and ten years ago, and the fact that it is a "loaded" issue make it more complicated.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>Because I am taller and larger than most of my friends I can feel bigger than I really am. We are proportionally similar but I am taller and wider and take up more space.&nbsp; Photos can emphasize that and make me more aware.&nbsp; You may be similar Cindy as I think you are tallish too.</p> <p>You do look great in these photos. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161823 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 01:59:53 +0000 Echo 2161823@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Are you a different size from what you have been - losing weight? Or have you been buying and wearing your clothes too big? I just would think that your body image would come from something concrete, like sizes you had purchased in the past.</p> <p>I am having a similar issue, but I know why it is happening. I had been slowly gaining weight over years until I was finally straining my size 14 clothes. I hasten to add there is nothing inherently wrong with being ANY size, but that size was wrong for me, and the habits that led to it were unhealthy for me. I have lost almost 40 lb now in about 5 months, and my brain has not caught up with the reality. I am shocked when I order a large (one size smaller than I was previously wearing) and it is too big. I haven't been a medium - size 8 right now and shrinking - for enough years that it seems unfathomable. It will simply take my brain a while to catch up with my body. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161787 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 00:17:22 +0000 Janet 2161787@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I kind of wish I were a little more disconnected from my body image. My 6’s from a few years ago are gone. I am not happy with what has been happening with my body this year, but I’m allowing myself holiday indulgence and then working on cutting back on the indulgence and stepping up my activity more so I can get more comfortably back in my clothes. I don’t own a scale and don’t wish to, but I know my body well enough to know when it’s time to start healthier habits. I say that not to beat up on myself but to be honest about where I am. I know many of us have been in that boat. Not only would it not be healthy to keep on the same track I’ve been on — I also do not want to have to buy all new bigger clothes! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161784 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 00:12:35 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2161784@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wouldn’t see strong arms as a negative—when mine are most cut they tend to be at their strongest and thinnest, because they have less fat then. </p> <p>But yeah, size is just a number. It’s been interesting to move to a system where a whole different set of numbers is used (although, oddly, they also just use even numbers) and learn my sizes again. </p> <p>Now get on with your bad self. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161778 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 00:04:54 +0000 Anonymous 2161778@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Are the 6’s and 8’sbdifferent from what you were buying last year , say ? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-image-disconnect#post-2161775 Tue, 22 Dec 2020 23:51:46 +0000 cindysmith 2161775@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I went to Allen Premium outlets yesterday, hoping for a couple of much needed items: leather gloves, a nice sweater or sweatshirt, some jeans that fit... My first stop was the Wilson's Leather, but that location was one of the stores closing, and I already have plenty of what the store had left: leather jacket, wool blend coat, wallets, bags...</p> <p>My next serious stop was the Armani outlet. They had some beautiful stuff and great prices, and I was standing there studying a knit jacket when a nice older man asked me very politely if he could embarrass me. I told him he could try with a twinkle in my eyes and a big smile. He was wanting to get a jacket for his wife, and he said that I was very close to the same size as his wife. He had a gorgeous blazer in his hand, and he was unsure what size to buy her. A sales associate wandered up about that time, and what ensued was a discussion of size and the advantages of knits over wovens for women with strong arms and shoulders (the man's wife was a swimmer, with muscular arms and shoulders like my own). I told the gentleman and the SA that I was probably a 12 or 14, so I tried on a red knit jacket in a 10 for the man.</p> <p>It. Was. Loose.</p> <p>The size 8 wound up being a pretty good fit on me, so the guy went one size down for his wife. I left the store confused as confused can get. After I left Armani, I headed to 7FAM to look for jeans. My girl Nicole wasn't there, but a very nice young man approached me and we began searching for some jeans for me. I fell in love with a black pair with a velvet textured pattern, and a coated black pair, while he brought me a pair of dark blue ones. The ones he brought me were high waisted, so I was absolutely certain they wouldn't work because of my short torso. I'm glad I didn't dismiss the high waisted blue ones outright, because they wound up being so stinking perfect it was delightfully amusing. Their high waist was actually a mid rise (go figure). I was also a size smaller than I expected.</p> <p>Where on earth is this disconnect coming from? How am I not SEEING the reality when I look in the mirror? I don't look in the mirror and hate what I see, nothing like that. I just see my arms and shoulders as being rather large and strong, my waist as being a bit thicker and fluffier than I would perhaps like, and I still have have my butt that looks good in pants. My body is fitting into size 8 jackets and size 6 pants, yet I am still seeing a size 12 or 14 when I look in the mirror.</p> <p>Here I am, a woman who jumps up on her soapbox regularly to shout about the negative messaging we are bombarded with: my hair isn't shiny enough, my grey hair is uncool for a woman of my age but 20-somethings who bleach their hair to dye it grey ARE cool, for Pete's sake there are deodorants out there that prevent underarm discoloration and I'm like NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT COLOR THE SKIN IS IN MY ARMPITS???!!!??? Yet here I am, not seeing myself objectively when I look in the mirror, and I can't figure out where the disconnect is happening. </p> <p>I don't care about the numbers on the tags or scales, I'm just boggled by the disconnect between what I think I see in the mirror and what the reality is, and I know that this has always been a safe space for these types of discussions. I'm wondering if the coronapocalypse has something to do with it, since everything has been weird all year, and I have been nowhere (except work or vital errands) for months, meaning I haven't really been interacting with people like I used to; maybe that lack of seeing people's reactions to my outfits or whatever has made the difference in how I perceive myself? </p> <p>I don't know, and I just figured I'd throw it out here because it's really weird. Normally, I don't have this body image/perception disconnect, so it's a very jarring experience LOL</p> <p>I bought the jeans the S.A. picked for me at 7FAM, and I got me some makeup and some fun (non prescription) glasses and shades to wear at work to help keep sawdust and dirt out of my eyes. Both pairs are so late 70s-early 80s disco fabulous, and they'll help keep dust and dirt from irritating my contacts and it's Christmas so why not?</p> <p>Thanks for reading, and thanks for any discussion of the topic. I always find a lot of wisdom here, and it is always appreciated </p>