https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 27 Apr 2026 15:41:18 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance/page/2#post-1664280 Fri, 20 May 2016 15:13:10 +0000 BlondeAmbition 1664280@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kimlee, it is very fashionable to put ourselves down, you don't hear men do this but for women it's almost mandatory that you put yourself down. &nbsp;Every compliment that someone gives you must in turn lay out one of your own perceived faults. &nbsp;If someone says "You look great" you immediately say "Oh thanks, I wish my stomach didn't stick out so much though." &nbsp;Sitting around with girlfriends the conversation inevitably turns to diets, cleanses, and the latest workout trends. &nbsp;Even the way we talk to little girls sets them up for this mentality. &nbsp;We tell them how cute they are and how pretty their hair is. &nbsp;The message we give them is "your looks are the most important thing about you." &nbsp;It's not hard to see how we've become a society that scrutinizes women so much that we end up pummeling our own self worth. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance/page/2#post-1663611 Thu, 19 May 2016 05:26:53 +0000 Lyn D. 1663611@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes Shannon and Beth Ann-<br />that line is all the good reasons for us to 'Let Go' rather than "Let Ourselves Go' </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance/page/2#post-1663197 Wed, 18 May 2016 14:24:21 +0000 kimlee 1663197@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have been struggling for the past 2 years to lose the last 10 pounds or so of the "baby weight". &nbsp;A few weeks ago I took a work trip with 2 coworkers, who are nearly 20 years old. &nbsp;They spent the majority of their time bemoaning their bodies, criticizing themselves for indulging in dessert with dinner, etc. &nbsp;I texted my husband that night and said "I don't want to be them when I reach that age". &nbsp;Since then I haven't stepped on a scale and instead am approaching the day with the question, "Does this honor my body, and make me feel the best me?" &nbsp;And some days, dessert does honor my body - after all who can say no to sharing a sundae with their adorable 6 year old. Other days, honoring my body is skipping dessert and enjoying a hard workout instead. &nbsp;</p> <p>I'm not 100% there...but I am better than I use to be. Your post, Shannon, just encouraged me to keep striving. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance/page/2#post-1663184 Wed, 18 May 2016 13:52:42 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1663184@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such wisdom! You have all given me much to think about and I am grateful for your input. It helps to know I'm not alone in my mid-life journey :)</p> <p><b>Beth Ann</b> -<i><u> "I will eat well, move well, love well and let the rest go!"</u></i> This is going to be my new mantra - brilliant.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance/page/2#post-1663031 Wed, 18 May 2016 00:59:35 +0000 Beth Ann 1663031@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was watching a Ken Burns documentary on the National Parks last week --- sorry, no Canadian parks were included, although I'm a big fan of the ones I've visited! &nbsp;I noticed that the Edwardian turn-of-the-century photos revealed women that would be considered, even without the corsets, plump by modern standards. &nbsp;They were hiking through mountain passes in their woolen skirts and high button boots. &nbsp;I realized in that moment that, while it's true that obesity is a cultural problem, women's bodies are strong and beautiful, and often grow a bit in midlife. &nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;I will eat well, move well, love well, and let the rest go! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance/page/2#post-1663010 Wed, 18 May 2016 00:45:00 +0000 RobinF 1663010@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a great conversation! So true that I look back and think I looked great when I felt like I looked fat! Too bad we can't go backwards. </p> <p>Traci, that video was fun. I guess guys go through it too. Although I still think society is easier on guys regarding weight. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance/page/2#post-1662993 Wed, 18 May 2016 00:04:34 +0000 Janet 1662993@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That was great, Traci. (I love those guys!) Thank you for sharing.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance/page/2#post-1662981 Tue, 17 May 2016 23:31:55 +0000 catgirl 1662981@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Traci, I think the Korean-American guy's statement that he still thought he looked fat post-photoshop says it all.&nbsp; Body dysmorphia is obviously an issue for guys, too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance/page/2#post-1662950 Tue, 17 May 2016 22:22:01 +0000 Traci 1662950@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLNTb2zfh3Q">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLNTb2zfh3Q</a>&nbsp; I overheard my daughter listening to this video yesterday. &nbsp;Thinking about this video and this thread made me wonder how women would react to this same experiment? &nbsp;Would we realize we actually DO prefer the way we already look? &nbsp;or would this just affirm our wishes to look "better"? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance/page/2#post-1662853 Tue, 17 May 2016 18:11:14 +0000 unfrumped 1662853@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was also going to reference the Biggest Losers results and news reports; thanks, Suz.</p> <p>That is a real eye-opener and also&nbsp;points out&nbsp;need for more research and <br />methods on weight maintenance. We are still just in the weeds !</p> <p>An important point about those data are the effects of shame. Because society is judging all the time and assuming that all affected people are just lazy and eating loads.</p> <p>When instead we are learning that there are actually severmetabolism problems, the person may be eating way less than a normal diet and exercising more and still not maintaining and IS hungry all the time--for real--due to ramped up other hormones that function to make you eat more to regain the weight. </p> <p>Whereas all the routine diet hype is saying, "eat our diet plan and you will never be hungry!"</p> <p>Again, the point was not to just give up healthy habits, but that barring some new breakthroughs, some kind of balance and moderation is needed, and self-acceptance to keep an even keel. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance/page/2#post-1662780 Tue, 17 May 2016 15:13:15 +0000 BlondeAmbition 1662780@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well said Shannon. &nbsp;I too have fought my body for decades. &nbsp;Diets have made me miserable and they have never worked long term. &nbsp;It wasn't until I discovered Intuitive Eating that I started to feel healthy and normal around food because 2 decades of dieting had made me develop a pretty frightful eating disorder. &nbsp;Now all that is different. &nbsp;Am I skinny? &nbsp;No, and I probably never will be. &nbsp;But I love my body, I love to dress it fashionably and all because I've learned how to accept myself as I am. &nbsp;I have learned that beauty does not come in only a size 6. &nbsp;I am no longer a slave of the scale and I have learned that I am quite a healthy person - I exercise because I love to move, I eat healthy foods because I love how they taste and make me feel, and I eat cake or ice cream without an ounce of guilt. &nbsp;I've gotten rid of all the guilt associated with eating, and have learned to embrace my body as it is. &nbsp;Because it is so much easier to take care of a body that I love than a body that I hate. </p> <p>Something that has helped me tremendously is to get rid of fashion magazines and even health magazines that are all geared towards skinny beauty. &nbsp;If you look on instagram there are thousands of beautiful women of ALL sizes that are fashion bloggers that inspire me daily. &nbsp;It was very difficult for me to accept my size 16 body as beautiful when all I was looking at was mainstream media. &nbsp;So stop looking at the mainstream fashion and take a look at the real women who are making a real mark in fashion and beauty on social media right now.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance/page/2#post-1662777 Tue, 17 May 2016 14:55:04 +0000 Suz 1662777@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Recently someone did a big study of the "Biggest Losers" and what happens to them afterwards. Almost all of them gain it back, and it's not just because they lost it too quickly, apparently. It seems the body simply fights to keep the weight on. Their metabolisms slowed down; they had to eat less than most people of their weight to keep the weight off. </p> <p>Those people are probably at an extreme end because after all, they had more to lose than most of us. But for anyone who has lost significant weight, maintaining is a heck of a lot harder than losing. Most of us can make a "project" of losing for a time. It's a goal and we work towards it, and man, does it feel good to achieve it! &nbsp;But unless we commit to major lifestyle change, we go back to our former habits and then the pounds come back.&nbsp;</p> <p>The thing is, there's a reason we have those habits, right? They support us in some way. Nobody can give up all her supports and little joys and feel okay.&nbsp;</p> <p>I want to be healthy and fit but I also want to be happy. For me, happiness includes cake with friends, wine with dinner, delicious meals out once in a while and never ever thinking about calories or counting them. It also includes regular but not obsessive exercise. Lately that has fallen by the wayside because I've had so many different health and family issues going on. I am mostly at peace with the resulting weight gain. I was scheduled for an exercise class this morning and woke up still feeling gross from the dental surgery and I said, you know what, body? You're going to rest today. And my body said thank you!&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662759 Tue, 17 May 2016 14:25:07 +0000 Thirkellgirl 1662759@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Let me preface this by saying "I know what I look like." I'm not oblivious to the tens of extra pounds I've put on in the past decade since my mom became quite ill and passed away. I've fought fifteen-ish back off a couple times. I can't say "I'm trying and making progress" all the time, so I won't. Sometimes I try harder to fight some weight off than at other times. But I can say that I am accepting of my current body and all its flaws in a way I never was when I weighed 120 pounds and ran every day. I've looked at too many photos from the past and remembered how terrible I thought I looked at that time, and now think "you didn't look bad at all," and I no longer avoid having my photo taken the way I used to. It is what it is, I yam what I yam, and I have permanently silenced the voices in my head that accused me. Yes, in some ways I *have "let myself go," and I'm ok with that. </p> <p>You are absolutely on the right track. Good for you.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662750 Tue, 17 May 2016 14:10:28 +0000 Aziraphale 1662750@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I've heard that it's near impossible to maintain a body weight that's more than 10 or so pounds off the "set point" that your body wants to be at -- although that set point can change (upwards) as we age. So you're right; struggling to be a shape your body is fighting against is a losing battle.</p> <p>Not that we shouldn't all try to eat healthy food and exercise, of course! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662740 Tue, 17 May 2016 13:52:58 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1662740@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sara - you have really hit the nail on the head regarding "quality of life". When I lost 75 pounds 10 years ago on Weight Watchers, I'll be honest - losing it wasn't that difficult. Keeping it off? That was another story. For anyone who remembers the old WW points system, I could only eat 18-20 points per day in order to maintain my weight. I was hungry all the time and more than a bit miserable. I got so tired of saying no to everything.</p> <p>Obviously I've gone too far the other way but I'm working on finding balance. I'm never going to be skinny - my body just isn't built that way and doesn't work that way. It's like trying to put a round peg into a square hole. </p> <p>But I'm working on getting myself to a healthier me. And that's what it's all about. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662737 Tue, 17 May 2016 13:46:45 +0000 Sara L. 1662737@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love this!&nbsp; I decided there was a quality of life factor that I needed to take into account.&nbsp; I can keep the weight off but I can't drink any liquid calories (soda, wine, beer) and I have to work out 5 times a week.&nbsp; While I generally don't mind exercising, I start to hate it when I work out that often and really enjoy the occasional glass of wine with dinner or beer on the patio.&nbsp; I've come to terms with gaining some weight in exchange for that quality of life.<b></b> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662697 Tue, 17 May 2016 12:59:09 +0000 RobinF 1662697@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love this! Good for you. I am always fighting this battle myself and agree that it is easier some days than others. I'll add this to my encouraging thoughts for those tough days. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662695 Tue, 17 May 2016 12:55:26 +0000 Anonymous 1662695@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Those are words to live by, Transcona Sharon.&nbsp; I've come to think of my body as my servant.&nbsp; I get a lot more loyalty out it when I love it and care for it, rather than curse it and punish it.&nbsp; I try to appreciate it rather than criticize it (although it does let me down now and again).&nbsp; Thanks for a thought-provoking thread. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662688 Tue, 17 May 2016 12:47:43 +0000 Traci 1662688@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, we have similar petite builds, with you being a size or two smaller than me most of the time...so you've been my role model for many years. Reading this from you reminds me how easily we look at a smiling picture and impart confidence and joy, when there's likely lots more than that going on.</p> <p>You are beautiful and inspirational just the way you are. Congratulations on finally seeing that for yourself! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662671 Tue, 17 May 2016 12:25:50 +0000 Chris987 1662671@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such PERFECT words. Another thing to print and hang up on the wall. </p> <p>It all boils down to treating yourself and your body the same way you treat your best friend, lover, child, or anyone else you truly love and cherish. It just seems to be so much work to turn that inward </p> <p>I have found that the better I am at accepting/loving my body, the better I am at accepting all the other aspects of myself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662557 Tue, 17 May 2016 07:24:07 +0000 Ledonna N. 1662557@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Shannon this is absolutely beautiful. Be kind to yourself. Love it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662518 Tue, 17 May 2016 03:47:41 +0000 Nebraskim 1662518@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I admire you for this. In my world, if I could just get to "hate my body less," it would be a breakthrough. I am lucky to able to have incredible almost eating disorder like discipline about food and exercise. Otherwise. Well, I shudder to think of that.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662503 Tue, 17 May 2016 03:06:41 +0000 amiable 1662503@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you Shannon! &nbsp;I'm almost there myself. &nbsp;I decided this year that I didn't want to be obsessive about my size any more. &nbsp;And that resulted in my gaining weight really quickly, which I wasn't prepared for.... Now I'm always hoping that I don't run into someone I know, in fear that they'll just be thinking "wow, she's gaining weight really quickly". &nbsp;I know what I want to do - watch what I eat, but not be obsessive, and exercise because it feels good and makes life more manageable, not to beat my body into shape. &nbsp;And I'm getting there in thinking that way, just am not quite all the way there yet.</p> <p>Thanks for setting an example!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662498 Tue, 17 May 2016 02:52:28 +0000 Deborah 1662498@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I want to give you a big hug! (Hope you're a hugger lol). You are beautiful inside and out no matter what number is on you clothes. This is such a hard lesson to learn. Some days I'm good with it, other days not so much xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662453 Tue, 17 May 2016 01:28:19 +0000 unfrumped 1662453@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Right on. </p> <p>That's one reason why I like healthy programs that focus on what TO do rather than not do. Such as , eat 7 fruits and vegetables daily, instead of, don't eat that. Same for modest exercise and drinking water. I can drink more water daily and not just " instead of" something else. Overall it will add to health but less sense of deprivation. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662450 Tue, 17 May 2016 01:26:33 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1662450@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just running out the door and will comment more tomorrow. I appreciate your replies.</p> <p>When I think of all the time and energy I have wasted over the last 40 years engaged in self talk - what a disservice to myself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662447 Tue, 17 May 2016 01:22:33 +0000 Aziraphale 1662447@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LisaP, I like what you said about not complaining about your own body in front of your daughters (and trying to not even think it!). In my personal case, the woman who "gave me the gift of this body" also <i>gave me away to strangers</i> at the hospital, so I'll never know what she thought. The kind strangers who adopted me tried their best, but my real (i.e. adoptive mother) hated her own body, and was vocal about it. It sunk in. Nurture counts for a lot. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662446 Tue, 17 May 2016 01:21:55 +0000 catseye 1662446@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love your post. Cannot say it any better. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662442 Tue, 17 May 2016 01:18:38 +0000 Jaime 1662442@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Beautiful just like you Shannon. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/body-acceptance#post-1662438 Tue, 17 May 2016 01:11:34 +0000 Anonymous 1662438@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I &nbsp;shared this with a friend just this morning, and I'll share it again here too , if you don't mind :)</p> <p>I read something on Facebook over the the weekend - a post from a mother witnessing her daughter (age indeterminate but irrelevant) expressing hate and /or self loathing over her body. &nbsp;It was a staged/Dove commercial type of thing, but anyways....</p> <p>The mother was absolutely devastated that the daughter she "created" and gave birth to was unhappy with herself, that self that the mother gave to her. &nbsp;And I just about died. &nbsp;It broke my &nbsp;heart. It also reminded me of when I blithely informed my mother when I was about 32 that I didn't know if I even wanted children. And she was devastated. I didnt' get it - until many years later . But this was kind of the same thing - rejecting that which your mother gave you. &nbsp;I have made it my life's mission to NEVER discuss nor think aloud about myself in front of my daughter (or my husband, who hates that kind of talk too) but overnight , but &nbsp;because of this on-line post, I vowed never to disrespect my mother like that again. Sure, she isn't at "fault" for me eating crackers and nuts and drinking wine, but she gave me the gift of this body, and I cannot hate it. &nbsp;How could we do that? &nbsp; I won't. </p>