https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 27 Apr 2026 08:12:17 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long/page/2#post-1196027 Sun, 16 Mar 2014 00:27:26 +0000 Jules 1196027@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It sounds like things have worked out for the best, and both MIL and SIL will benefit from this time together - you've given them an opportunity. I just wanted to make sure that you and DH are aware that there are EI benefits (6 weeks I believe?) available to people caring for very ill relatives. These might come in handy for your SIL or yourselves if you need to assist her or just want time with MIL. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long/page/2#post-1195998 Sat, 15 Mar 2014 23:47:32 +0000 lyn67 1195998@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OMG, I&nbsp;cannot imagine the drama when you lost her:-(( but I&nbsp;know you did all it could have been done, Shannon, and think you deserve the relieve, she'll have a good place at your SIL. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long/page/2#post-1195495 Sat, 15 Mar 2014 13:01:59 +0000 Karie 1195495@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You took terrific care of her for a very long time. You and your family treated her with love and care, and you did the best you could given the circumstances.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long/page/2#post-1192330 Wed, 12 Mar 2014 14:03:48 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1192330@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tracey - thank you so much for your reply. I'm going to keep repeating that in my head </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long/page/2#post-1191949 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 23:39:37 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1191949@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's not about passing her around it's about sharing her! &nbsp; When my mother was sick she stayed with me for over a year, then moved home and my older brother moved in for a year, then switched with my younger brother who moved in and I came over daily towards the end (last 6months) . &nbsp; My sister pitched in by making meals and bringing them over. &nbsp; In the end we all felt great that we all worked together and that she reaped what she sowed in her love for all of us... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long/page/2#post-1191930 Tue, 11 Mar 2014 23:19:08 +0000 JulieJohn 1191930@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, you all were wonderful for her, give yourselves a big pat on the back. How traumatic that must have been to lose her, I'm glad it turned out so well but I can only imagine how frazzled you must have been. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long/page/2#post-1191015 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 22:51:47 +0000 Alassë 1191015@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm glad a solution has been found, Shannon. I hope you can all take a deep breath and relax now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long/page/2#post-1190253 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 08:27:21 +0000 goldenpig 1190253@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>How scary! I am glad she is OK and glad that a solution has been found to have your SIL step up to help care for her. You have done more than your fair share of duty and have been a saint of a daughter in law. Kudos to you for helping her. And I am glad the air in your house won't be full of smoke anymore, especially for your son's sake! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long/page/2#post-1190000 Mon, 10 Mar 2014 00:09:28 +0000 Anonymous 1190000@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well at least she aired the house out really well before she left! (I'm so sorry but I just couldn't resist.) &nbsp;;)</p> <p>You and your family have been saints about this. I hope you can relax and get back to normal. I'm glad she wasn't hurt too, that would have been really hard to get over. Whew! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long/page/2#post-1189971 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 23:43:15 +0000 MsMary 1189971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What Anna said.&nbsp; You have more than done your duty, up to and including finding a good alternative now that events have overtaken your ability to keep MIL in your home.</p> <p>I think you deserve a big fat medal!&nbsp; Or... how about adding this to your spring wardrobe? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long/page/2#post-1189969 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 23:42:21 +0000 celia 1189969@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, that must have been scary.<br />It is a pity that sometimes we cannot do everything we would like for our loved ones. Unfortunately the way society an family changed means that we cannot leave work to take care of older people and they are left almost to their own resources.<br />You have always done the best you could under the circumstances and this decision was the most logic.<br />I am sure you will all keep given her your love and support even though she is at your SIL's. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long/page/2#post-1189933 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 22:45:30 +0000 annagybe 1189933@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You did the best you could for a very long time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1189876 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 21:10:26 +0000 Lyn D. 1189876@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Shannon, you, DH and DS have done so much for your MIL that I have been in&nbsp;awe of your loving patience!<br />Things have a way of changing so suddenly don't they?<br />I hope that you will quickly adjust, and start to enjoy life as it is now, knowing that you have done an amazing above-and- beyond job of caring for your MIL for a long time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1189845 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 20:39:26 +0000 Nebraskim 1189845@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The outcome of a safe situation for her is paramount. You did not fail in your loving and persistent attempts to provide the best for her. Best wishes to your family. Everyone has sacrificed here; the compromise is a good solution. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1189289 Sun, 09 Mar 2014 03:33:33 +0000 Jaime 1189289@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You did the right thing from every point of view and you have gone above and beyond throughout with your MIL. You should enjoy your smoke free house and know that you have done the right thing for everyone. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188957 Sat, 08 Mar 2014 21:48:40 +0000 rachylou 1188957@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'll be bluntly honest, that's how I get about these things... this <i>is </i>how the cookie crumbles. As I see it, you were willing to do your duty. I'm from the Jewish/Catholic side of town - we consider that a thing done out of obligation is worth more than a thing done willingly. It's much harder after all. You took her in when she filled your house with cigarette smoke - a serious health risk to your son. Letting her go to your SIL - probably nothing to feel proud about, but also nothing to feel guilty about either. You do the right thing and that's that. Keep doing it Shannon! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188848 Sat, 08 Mar 2014 19:34:42 +0000 Thistle 1188848@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just saw this. I understand your mixed emotions completely. You are so that you didn't have the means to take car of her as she needs to be cared of, but at the same time, you wanted to do so. It is hard to let go of the responsibility and trust another to do what needs to be done.</p> <p>Big hugs to you, your DH and DS for all that your family has done. Know you have always done what is best for her and that you have kept that in your hearts, even if you are not the ones to give all of the care. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188705 Sat, 08 Mar 2014 15:56:28 +0000 Glory 1188705@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon this is quite a bit of stress. I agree with Angie you and hubs need a vacation - even it you can do a short one.<br />Thank goodness this turned out as it did. I think it is no wonder she would not want to leave given what a wonderful DIL you are. She will be much safer where she is now.&nbsp;Hugs! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188642 Sat, 08 Mar 2014 14:19:54 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1188642@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You are all so kind and understanding. I do know in my heart that this is the best solution. My MIL's safety and care is the most important factor to be considered. I just don't want her to feel like she's being "passed around" and that we didn't want her with us, you know? </p> <p>I will admit I do not miss the cigarette smell one darned bit though! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188583 Sat, 08 Mar 2014 12:57:02 +0000 nancylee 1188583@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, please don't feel one minute of guilt, Shannon. &nbsp;You and your husband and son have opened your hearts and your home to MIL for a good long time. &nbsp;It really sounds like this move is best for everyone involved….and most importantly for her safety.</p> <p>Hugs to all. &nbsp;It's the right thing to do, but&nbsp;I'm sure it's difficult for everyone. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188562 Sat, 08 Mar 2014 12:38:44 +0000 Neel 1188562@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh god! That is a very scary experience. And thank God your MIL was found safe and sound. You have done everything you could possibly do and you shouldn't feel guilty Shannon. At the end, you still did think of her good. Glad that the other children are taking responsibility too. A huge sigh of relief .... Really! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188523 Sat, 08 Mar 2014 10:08:45 +0000 Hil 1188523@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah Shannon - that must have been SO frightening!!!! I don't think you should feel guilty at all. You did what you could and your family and your husbands siblings need to share the load. I am so glad there has been a resolution! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188483 Sat, 08 Mar 2014 06:35:11 +0000 rae 1188483@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just saw this - what a fright! But also it must be a big relief... I remember there have been a few different events involving your MIL that were pretty stressful. It is good that another of her children is helping out now so that you can have a break from the vigilance.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188387 Sat, 08 Mar 2014 04:26:25 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1188387@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You are so blessed that others who were better able to help stepped up. You did what you could and should be proud of that. So happy a workable solution was found. I hope all will pitch in when possible to give care givers a rest as it is important! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188378 Sat, 08 Mar 2014 04:15:59 +0000 Sveta 1188378@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I think you have nothing to feel guilty about, I think you did the best you could in the circumstances and then some.<br />I think it is only fair that her other children share &nbsp;the responsibility and workload of caring for their mother.<br />And you guys do deserve a holiday! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188368 Sat, 08 Mar 2014 04:07:53 +0000 Adelfa 1188368@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bless you! So glad there was another solution. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188358 Sat, 08 Mar 2014 03:56:28 +0000 Deborah 1188358@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon please don't allow yourself to feel guilty. You (your DH and DS) have been wonderful. There are seasons and you have done what you can for the time you could and now it's an opportunity for your SIL to so the same. Aged care is challenging and hard decisions have to made at times. I feel you have always. Even so thoughtful and , compassionate towards your MIL and I am sure you has been very blessed by your love and care. Remember you don't have to so it all. xxx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188183 Fri, 07 Mar 2014 23:44:28 +0000 ramya 1188183@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Consider yourself hugged from Norwsy. Nothing I say will be enough. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188180 Fri, 07 Mar 2014 23:42:54 +0000 Anonymous 1188180@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, you are an incredible person and the best daughter-in-law anyone could wish for -- please know that and&nbsp;release any guilt. &nbsp;I'm so glad your mother-in-law is safe and you can breathe more easily now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/big-changes-in-our-household---again-long#post-1188171 Fri, 07 Mar 2014 23:32:23 +0000 Suz 1188171@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, you have been a mensch and more than a mensch with your MIL. I know she means a great deal to you and you have done everything to preserve a relationship (and a life or two!) in a very tricky situation. Now you deserve every bit of the relief you are experiencing, so please try not to feel too guilty. There has been no "failure" here at all. On the contrary, you've arrived at a superb solution. No one child should have to bear the burden of all the care in a case like this -- it's just not right. So it's only fair for your SIL to step up since she is now at home.&nbsp;And you will continue to support and love your MIL even if she is in a different home. Meanwhile, you and your son and your husband all deserve clean air, a bit of space, and time to recover from what has been a very stressful time.&nbsp; </p>