https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 15 Apr 2026 05:56:08 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2173848 Sun, 21 Feb 2021 20:00:42 +0000 Cardiff girl 2173848@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Beautifully written.You have a gift for thoughtful self analysis. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2173829 Sun, 21 Feb 2021 18:37:49 +0000 Greyscale 2173829@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>We definitely grew up in similar families! Mine had slightly different backstory / philosophical origins but much the same effect. Sometimes I feel like I grew up in another century, or outside of time. (I turned into an urban and fancy person though.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2173478 Sat, 20 Feb 2021 00:23:41 +0000 LaPed 2173478@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>nemosmom -- A lot of this has only started making sense to me since hanging out on the YLF forum! I never would've seen these connections otherwise.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>SarahD8 -- Yes, à la William Morris! Useful *is* beautiful.&nbsp;</p> <p>Mainelady -- Thank you. It's fun having a place to share and ponder this sort of thing.</p> <p>Angie -- Thank you! And thank you for giving us such good writing prompts.&nbsp;</p> <p>Jenn -- I hadn't planned on making the time to write one, but I had some much fun reading others' that I had to.&nbsp;</p> <p>Kaelyn -- I'm really glad I stumbled upon YLF. It's such a good antidote to the broader world of social media.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172923 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 02:43:25 +0000 Kaelyn 2172923@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Back to reply to your reply--I wholeheartedly agree. This is the single most positive, warm, and welcoming space I've ever found to talk about style. It means so much to me, and you're one of the people whose posts I always look forward to reading when I hop on! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172890 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 23:46:32 +0000 Jenn 2172890@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I loved reading this. &nbsp;I feel like we're getting a glimpse of the full people that we usually only see partially through the window of WIW posts and such. &nbsp;The person I see and the one you describe are definitely in alignment! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172889 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 23:41:35 +0000 Angie 2172889@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>La Ped</b>, I really enjoyed reading this, and learning more about you! You are a great storyteller. Very articulate, insightful, cerebral, and calming :)</p> <p>Your context is very well represented in your style, so all that's left for me to do is say.... WELL DONE!&nbsp;</p> <p>and&nbsp;</p> <p>*APPLAUSE*</p> <p>:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172887 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 23:33:19 +0000 Mainelady 2172887@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do enjoyed reading your post. Your background is fascinating and your articulation of who you are is pure eloquence. It is so nice to learn a bit more about you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172756 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 18:01:36 +0000 SarahD8 2172756@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ohhh. This is very very good.</p> <p>I relate to a lot of what you've said here, but I'll highlight what you've said about getting excited about things that perform well. I'm like you in not liking to settle for functional things that are ugly, but also I find that function can almost an aesthetic of its own -- that is, really good function imbues a thing with beauty for me. On the flip side I can get really cranky when function is suboptimal in ways that seem easy to me to fix: like, you could have put just a little bit more thought into it and made something so much better!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172743 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 17:14:24 +0000 nemosmom 2172743@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>Your background and values are definitely represented in your style!&nbsp; You have mentioned bits and pieces of your upbringing before, but now that it is on one page, it all makes sense.&nbsp; As a 5w4 (but INFJ) I giggled at our similarities in your last paragraph. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>But this: <i>"I’m moving towards presenting myself with greater intention and telling my story with greater confidence".&nbsp; </i>I may have to hang in my closet as a daily meditation!<br /></div></p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172723 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 16:23:40 +0000 LaPed 2172723@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Runcarla -- thank you! Articulate is important to me. :)&nbsp;</p> <p>Kaelyn -- great to hear from you! I'm so glad this resonates. YLF has been so helpful to me because there is such a diversity of approaches to style and self-presentation here. I love how Angie emphasizes that there's no one right answer.</p> <p>lisa p -- thank you, that is my favorite compliment of them all!</p> <p>shevia -- I'm so glad this aligns with what you see of me on the forum. Makes me feel I'm headed in the right direction.</p> <p>Suz -- thank you so much. Your insights and thoughtful responses here on the forum have certainly encouraged me to try to be more articulate about all things style-related.&nbsp;</p> <p>Bijou -- awww, thanks, and right back atcha!</p> <p>slim cat -- thank you!</p> <p>Rachylou -- oh, I know exactly what you mean about East Coast vs West Coast. Every time I've lived out west, I end up hanging out with someone from Boston in the blink of an eye. Like a homing pigeon!</p> <p>Synne -- I wish! One of my best friends in college assumed I was "a snooty New Yorker" -- I was totally taken aback!</p> <p>Liesbeth -- yes, writing it all out has helped it make sense to me too.&nbsp;</p> <p>Sal -- thank you!</p> <p>Fashintern -- I think we have very similar habits of mind! One thing I love about this forum is what an enclave it is for people who like to ponder these supposedly unimportant style questions at length, until I realize they are indeed important! I was tempted to write more, but kiddo cut me off and I decided I'd save it, and some images, for the next time I have a chance to post. All this introspection is hard work!</p> <p>suntiger -- that's so cool!&nbsp;</p> <p>Helena -- You caught a typo! That should be 4 and 5, not 5 and 6. I'm using a new laptop and not used to the keyboard yet at all; I think I caught all the spelling errors but I'm clearly not a numbers person. My DH is a definite Enneagram 6 -- exhausting indeed.&nbsp;</p> <p>Jules --thank you. Working on it, for sure.</p> <p>Nikki -- indeed!&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172689 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 15:26:19 +0000 Anonymous 2172689@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Finding and creating art in daily life is fulfilling and comforting! Awesome post </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172688 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 15:25:51 +0000 Jules 2172688@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very thoughtfully written and thought-provoking for me. It feels like you have resolved, or learned to live with, a lot of conflicts that many people struggle with. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172665 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 13:49:09 +0000 Helena 2172665@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Beautifully written, as as Shevia said, although I didn't know all these details about your life, they make perfect sense given what I know of you and your style - which is a testament to how well you do personal style.</p> <p>6w5 high five, too It is actually exhausting to be in our brains sometimes, isn't it?? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172657 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 12:47:43 +0000 Anonymous 2172657@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I relate to so much of this! My parents aren't "back to the land" but my grandparents were! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172638 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 11:12:00 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2172638@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You said it would be a long read! I settled in, was enjoying it and then bam! The End. Lol. </p> <p>It’s so interesting to me how everyone’s paths intersect and diverge. You’ve mentioned your hippy, secular, gender-neutral upbringing, so that was a familiar story, but very different from my own Christian Midwestern background. I was reading along remembering your story over there and then suddenly there’s the “normal” vs “other” clothing—right there in the middle of my world (although I seem to have taken the other path vz “not-normal”). Veering away again, there’s the makeup and stuff, which I was explicitly instructed to do. I doubt your your mom and older sister (if you have one) ever tried to impress upon you the “need” to shave your legs. </p> <p>But yet we come out with very similar values about the importance of equity, loving curiosity and candor, and similar relationships to function (must) and form (why not? And traditional can be lovely) (I’ve never understood why I can’t feel other peoples antipathy towards gear—you just explained it!) </p> <p>Not to steal too much, but your first paragraph on personality could’ve been me (except it’s better written) and I don’t understand “Curiosity and independence on one hand, candor and loyalty on the other” because I don’t see any inherent conflict there. Do I need to say that I also don’t “get” herd mentality and am not a follower? I love liminal spaces and seek them out not just for myself but also in my research/writing. To me, they are comfortable, lively, and full of possibility. </p> <p>Your style reflects your journey beautifully, as you wear those heritage cuts and fabrics in interesting ways, highlighting the beauty in simplicity done well. I generally enjoy your posts very much, because you frequently include connection between your clothing and yourself. I also appreciate your meaty, thoughtful comments on my little journey.</p> <p>ETA my reply is almost half as long as your post. Sorry! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172633 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 09:49:43 +0000 Sal 2172633@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What an interesting read - fantastic to hear about your background and what is driving you. And beautifully expressed too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172624 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 08:21:05 +0000 Liesbeth 2172624@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, a great read, what a vivid story you paint. It does make sense of your particular collection of gear, minimalist/trendy pieces and the heritage vibe. I mean it made sense before because it suits you but now you've explained the why. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172614 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 07:37:04 +0000 Synne 2172614@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting and articulate, thanks for the great read! (As for your background and upbringing, *mind blown!*. I thought you attended fancy boarding schools in the Swiss Alps and frequented Parisian designer stores ) Adore your style! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172598 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 05:28:11 +0000 rachylou 2172598@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It’s just a Yes from me. I love that you said ‘liminal’ and also it brings it home for me how I grew up within an East Coast enclave on the West Coast. I recognise your beliefs/values/traits both in writing and dress. They’re great! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172592 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 04:53:19 +0000 slim cat 2172592@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very insightful and interesting read. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172584 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 04:08:45 +0000 Bijou 2172584@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>La Ped, the more I get to know you, the more I wish I was like you! Such a fabulous read. You have such a great eye for functional fashion, I am not surprised at all that you could pick the cashmere sweater from across the room. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172583 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 03:59:36 +0000 Suz 2172583@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This was such a wonderful read! You know yourself well, and that self comes across in your style. What a pleasure to get to know you a little bit here.&nbsp;</p> <p>Also, I could have said exactly the same re cats and dogs. I love how you drew out that metaphor. So precise and accurate&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172572 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 02:57:01 +0000 Jaime 2172572@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am blown away by how much your description (and so many others in the last couple of days) fleshes out the persona you have presented here with your outfits and posts, but does not surprise or contradict. Although I did not know the details of your upbringing it all makes perfect sense. Thank you for sharing - you have given me new things to think about. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172567 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 02:12:32 +0000 Anonymous 2172567@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very interesting ! You’re a good writer , too . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172562 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 01:28:13 +0000 Kaelyn 2172562@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow wow wow. I relate to so much of what you said, though my background is a bit different. Thank you for sharing all your thoughts on how your background led you to where you are! I really admire both your style and your perspective. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172561 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 01:27:56 +0000 Carla 2172561@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Beautifully articulated, LaPed. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/beliefs-values-personality-long#post-2172559 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 01:19:11 +0000 LaPed 2172559@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Beliefs:</p> <p>I believe our bodies tell stories; the way we carry ourselves tells the world who we are. Some of it we can control, some of it we can’t, but I’d like to think I’m moving towards presenting myself with greater intention and telling my story with greater confidence. </p> <p>I was brought up in a resolutely secular household by an atheist-raised-Quaker single mom. The ethic was writ large, even if the Protestantism wasn’t: “Waste not want not” and “use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.” Believe it or not, I was pegged early on as the fancy one in the family: the one who took good care of her belongings, could pick out a cashmere sweater on the thrift store rack from the other side of the room, the only one who considered shopping fun. These days I’m well aware that there are already enough clothes in the world to keep us all covered for many, many generations. I find waste and extravagance stressful, but I have a hard time with repetition/routine and love trying new things. Hence my love for vintage and secondhand, along with ongoing feelings of guilt for buying new, rate of churn, etc. </p> <p>We were also a pretty gender-neutral or gender-skeptical family. My role models were all second-wave feminists and back-to-the-land types so there was never much pressure to be ladylike, nor any guidance for how to do so had I wanted to. Because I didn’t learn the conventions early, I sometimes have a hard time reading things as masculine or feminine. Growing up there was normal (round-toed flat shoes, collared shirts, crewneck tees, jeans that hang straight down) and not-normal (pointy or heeled shoes, soft/drapey fabrics, embellishment, pants that reveal the legs’ contours). I still don't really know how to wear the not-normal stuff. I also didn’t know a thing about make-up or hair until I got involved in theater and film as a teen. I came to appreciate them as skills with a specific application -- creating a character -- rather than as hobbies or part of a daily routine.&nbsp;</p> <p>My background has also led me to believe in and strive for, at a minimum, equity: safe workplaces, fair pay, everyone deserves to have their needs met, and we’d do well to treat other living things as our equals. I know we can’t shop our way to a world where that’s the case, but creating little bits of beauty out of daily essentials -- food, shelter, clothes -- that’s a good place to go when the bigger struggles get me down.</p> <p>Values:</p> <p>In objects, I value form within function, but rarely form for its own sake. This is why I get so excited about good gear, stuff that performs. I do have a hard time settling for something that I find ugly even if it’s adequately functional, but I almost never buy something just because I think it’s pretty. It has to serve its purpose. And sometimes fun/pretty <i>i</i><i>s</i>&nbsp;the purpose -- that’s me rebelling against my protestant New England ancestors!</p> <p><b></b></p> <p>In people, I value curiosity and candor. Pretty sure this is why I enjoy working with children; they can’t help but be curious and candid. “Ask questions, tell the truth” would be a good motto if I felt I needed a motto (and yes, I considered journalism too). In style, I guess this plays out as loving to explore new things, but within the realm of what feels authentic. Creating a character is one thing, but there are certain roles in which I’d never cast myself. :)</p> <p><b></b></p> <p>Personality:<b></b></p> <p>Introverted but adventurous, contemplative but restless, I love change, experimentation, and novelty (can’t bear to keep buying the same old toothpaste over and over); but I also have a luddite side that loves heritage, tradition, forgotten skills, and old ways of knowing. I do not enjoy small talk, formalities, or trying to read people, but I crave new experiences and love to be “out in the world” whether surrounded by culture or by nature. </p> <p>I test as a Myers-Briggs INTP or INFP, depending on the day. I am an Enneagram 4w5 or 5w4; I derive satisfaction from thorough analysis <i>and</i> from creative expression. I'd have a hard time not moving back and forth between critic mode and creator mode. I’m both a cat person and a dog person; never force me to choose! Curiosity and independence on one hand, candor and loyalty on the other. In school, I was equally happy hanging out with the nerds, the punks and metalheads, and the arty kids (theater, band,&nbsp;<i>and&nbsp;</i>studio), but never fully identified with any single group. I tend to exist on the periphery of social groups rather than at their center. I like liminal spaces, am naturally skeptical and rebellious and have a hard time not doing things my own way. Herd mentality and in-group thinking make me distinctly uncomfortable, which for a long time made me think I couldn’t “do” fashion and style. Understanding that stylish isn’t synonymous with trendy was a really big breakthrough for me when I was younger, as was getting a better handle on the socioeconomics of trends and realizing that what's "in" and what's "out" isn't as inscrutable or superfluous as it seems. I'm a big-picture thinker with a quiet independent streak and a hefty dose of pragmatism. And if that's somewhat visible to others, then I'm happy with how I look.&nbsp;</p> <p>(To anyone who made it this far, thanks for reading!)&nbsp;</p>