https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 11 Apr 2026 20:12:22 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-924142 Fri, 03 May 2013 14:08:59 +0000 Transcona Shannon 924142@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Love it Ali! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-924133 Fri, 03 May 2013 13:56:37 +0000 Anonymous 924133@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Reminds me of this Zumba tee shirt. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923890 Fri, 03 May 2013 02:15:16 +0000 Carla 923890@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What Firecracker said pretty much sums up what I believe is going on. In my office of a dozen, more than half the women wear a uniform of black synthetic pants with an elastic waistband, and a patterned synthetic top that is usually a tone on tone thing. Some days 3 or 4 will have the same colour ( teal, or purple, or wine). Might as well wear a uniform! Ugh! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923864 Fri, 03 May 2013 01:41:55 +0000 Jaime 923864@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Don't think I have much to add to the very wise and interesting comments here. I think the overall context makes it sound more like a compliment than a simple observation - as mentioned above if she is noticing clothes for you while shopping I would take that as a bit of wistful envy.&nbsp;<br /><br />And&nbsp;Rachylou's comment about the difference between the pattern on a shirt and a shoe is profound! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923832 Fri, 03 May 2013 01:02:58 +0000 Sveta 923832@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think it was a compliment and in my book different is good! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923808 Fri, 03 May 2013 00:20:28 +0000 Sarah A 923808@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So interesting. I am thinking firmly different is good just often people lack the vocabulary to be precise esp. in an area they dont often discuss. I think i wanted to fit in in my dressing for many years... funny how that changes <br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923789 Fri, 03 May 2013 00:00:33 +0000 Karie 923789@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I would take it as a compliment and assume they meant "different" as a synonym for&nbsp;"stylish." &nbsp;"That wouldn't happen to Shannon because she dresses so stylishly." "I knew you would like it because it's so stylish."&nbsp;<br /><br />OR, perhaps, like me, your outfits have improved dramatically.&nbsp;"Shannon's outfits were 'just OK'&nbsp;a few years ago, today her outfits are so different" - translation -&nbsp;&nbsp;"She found YLF and now puts&nbsp;together fabulous outfits that everyone wants to copy!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923762 Thu, 02 May 2013 23:38:20 +0000 Caro in Oz 923762@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great discussion nothing much to add except&nbsp;vive la différence. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923755 Thu, 02 May 2013 23:23:36 +0000 Transcona Shannon 923755@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Claire - yes, you're right. I do want to be different. I didn't used to - I used to want to look like everyone else. That way you don't get noticed. But something happened when I got a bit older and gained confidence through YLF and now I prefer to be different.<br /><br />Susie - oh goodness no...no implication made :)<br /><br />Rachy/Suz - I too find the comment about how little a difference something can be and still made people comfortable totally interesting.&nbsp;In fact I have the perfect example - the first time I came to work and my handbag didn't match my outfit or my shoes, I actually received a comment about that. Who even notices something that small but it was out of the norm for my office and was clearly bothering some people.<br /><br />Nancy - excellent point. I didn't think about the simple limitations of language. &nbsp;And FWIW, I love the word "funky"!<br /><br />lyn - you do indeed know what folks in this building dress like and describe the current fashion to a tee - lol! We do have one female attending who dresses very similar to you and I always smile when I see her. Hey...I wonder if we saw each other? Hmmm....probably in the Brodie Tim's line...<br /><br />Thanks for the fascinating discussion. It is indeed amazing how one word can be both expressed and interpreted in two completely different ways. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923624 Thu, 02 May 2013 19:13:47 +0000 Janet 923624@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'd take it as a compliment. I don't want to look like everyone else!<br /><br /><br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923608 Thu, 02 May 2013 18:41:06 +0000 lyn* 923608@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I definitely think it's a compliment, and since I know your workplace a little bit, I definitely think it's a compliment! HAHAHA. I also think that there people all dress alike, including the residents. They all have the same kind of top. The same lack of pants (tights are not pants) and the same Lululemon hoodie.<br /><br />People always tell me I dress "different" - I say it's part of psychiatry. They think I mean that we're crazy. No, it's because we dress well. :p<br /><br />Also! This means people are paying attention to what you wear! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923592 Thu, 02 May 2013 18:19:09 +0000 nancylee 923592@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You've gotten a lot of good advice here, Shannon. &nbsp;"Different" sounds more like a compliment than anything, so I wouldn't worry overly much.<br /><br />I think sometimes people lack the vocabulary to describe fashion/style...so *different* serves as a catch-all description for anything outstanding or fashion forward.<br /><br />If it makes you feel any better my mother uses the word "funky"&nbsp;to describe my style, even though there is very little funk going on! &nbsp;I think it's just her way to say fashion forward....or different. &nbsp;;) https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923586 Thu, 02 May 2013 18:11:15 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 923586@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Susie expressed my reaction better than I could have, and then I was floored by Vicki's observation of what seems pretty blatant: your boss is picking out clothes for you subconsciously during her lunch shopping! What a hoot! You've obviously made an impression, and I'd say it's a positive one.<br />What a fascinating discussion here. If I were in your position, I think I would try very hard (and it would be hard for me, as I will admit I'm pretty thin-skinned when it comes to comments from my boss and coworkers) to interpret the comments as observations and expression of some envy with a good measure of admiration. It's like, "Oh, Shannon, she's the creative one." Not a bad thing at all.<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923585 Thu, 02 May 2013 18:10:52 +0000 TraceyLiz65 923585@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I agree it was a compliment and you shine among the rest... If it wasn't and "different" is the worse thing someone says about you, it still doesn't matter because from your own perspective that is a good thing!!!!!&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923571 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:57:08 +0000 Suz 923571@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Love what Rachylou said. What a brilliant observation. How little difference it takes to make some people uncomfortable -- like pattern on our shoes instead of our blouse. Fascinating.&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923566 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:50:52 +0000 Gaylene 923566@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ After a career spend in front of people who are constantly making comments about my appearance and what I wear, I regard these comments as just observations, nothing more.<br /><br />Trying to interpret underlying messages just leads to my feeling self-conscious about my choices and suspicious of others' intentions.&nbsp; And feeling suspicious and self-conscious is a deadly cocktail that makes me want to retaliate by throwing a negative evaluation back along the lines of&nbsp; "well, look at how <i>you've</i> chosen to dress" and spend my time ascribing motives and intentions to others that may or, more likely <i>may not</i>, be accurate.<br /><br />We all make observations about what others are wearing all the time. And, mostly, our intention is neither to hurt nor to compliment; we are just verbalizing our observations about how we are alike, or different, in our choices. And, even if the commenter is trying to bolster herself by a negative evaluation of my outfit, the comment usually has more to do with her need to validate her choices by putting down mine. Random criticisms and compliments usually say more about the person making the comment than the target.<br /><br />You can't have a career that puts you in the spotlight everyday without developing a bit of a thick skin. If my husband, my friends, and my mirror tells me I look good, that is enough for me..<br /><br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different/page/2#post-923560 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:43:34 +0000 Susie 923560@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon, I have to add that from what I've seen of your wardrobe, you are certainly not outlandish in your choices for work and I didn't mean to imply that your style is inappropriate in any way. And it IS good to be noticed; it's not good for our careers to blend in to the woodwork. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923556 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:41:53 +0000 fashionista926 923556@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ There is such a stigma with work attire and I think thats silly. Thats awesome that they have been noticing your "different" style. They are probably jealous (in a good way)&nbsp;that they never thought to express&nbsp;themselves through the clothing. Next time tell them to come join this awesome community so they don't have to show up to work wearing something similar to another worker. Take it as a compliment and be proud you have your own style.&nbsp;&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923548 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:38:25 +0000 Anonymous 923548@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It's all good, because you&nbsp;<i>want</i> to be different, right? That's exactly what you're going for and I doubt it's going to hurt your career. I've had to change the way I think about comments like this. I love the way Tim Gunn responded when told him he looked, "so, ummm,&nbsp;<i>starchy</i>". He replied, "Thank you! I&nbsp;<i>am</i> starched!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923547 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:38:22 +0000 rachylou 923547@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think "different" here is an observation and a comment on how your boss feels about it. She's enjoying it, but is not perfectly comfortable with it. Sameness is, I take it, a part of her survival strategy - as it is for a lot of people (dare I say, most). Of course, that has its own dangers too, when it comes to social survival. You have to be careful not to come off as a stalker or uninspired.<br /><br />I mean, clothes normally declare intent. Lots of people dress differently to declare hostility to their own tribe. I think one's social safety, when it comes to dressing uniquely, depends on how open you are to sharing your interest. Whether you let people in. I'm actually a groupie, so I welcome the nervous laughs and the ribbing. I give permission for people to be entertained by my outfits (as opposed to threatening them with my sartorial wonders). People will come back to themselves and say things like, "But no, I really like your strung-out girl boots. They're great party shoes."<br /><br />On a verbal level in my social milieu, the way to insult someone with the word different is to say, "she's a little bit <i>different</i>."<br /><br />But on the other hand, for example, my mother insults things by saying, "that's not very original, is it?"<br /><br />What fascinates me most is how little a difference it takes to make people nervous. Like pattern on your shoes, instead of on your blouse.<br /><br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923544 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:35:35 +0000 Transcona Shannon 923544@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Donna - just saw your comment about the gorilla vest - lol! That would have pushed the entire office over the edge I'm sure!<br /><br />Vicki - you sure know how to make a girl feel good And I couldn't agree more - I am thankful every day when I get dressed that I found Angie and all of you and am having fun with fashion. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923542 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:32:31 +0000 Transcona Shannon 923542@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Fantastic thoughts and feedback ladies - thank you :)<br /><br />I think Susie hit upon what my concerns were - if it had only been mentioned once that I dress differently, I probably wouldn't have even noticed. But to bring it up three times in one day is what got me thinking.<br /><br />Unfrumped's comments provide great discussion as well. Being true to yourself is indeed a good thing but needs to be somewhat tempered in the workplace.&nbsp;<br /><br />I'm fortunate in that my work environment, although not creative in the true sense (it's healthcare after all!), does not have a strict corporate dress code. I have in the past when wearing something quite different and borderline office acceptable, outright asked my boss if what I'm wearing is ok (i.e. my BF jeans on Casual Friday).<br /><br />Suz - love your comment "<i>So that eventually, they won't be saying my style is "different". They'll be saying, my style is&nbsp;</i><b><i>ME.</i></b><span>&nbsp;" &nbsp;Maybe that's what we are ALL working towards.<br /><br />It seems most of you are seeing these comments as positive and complimentary so I'm going to go with that :)</span> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923541 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:32:26 +0000 Vicki 923541@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hello "Different Twin"!!! &nbsp;I'm here to embrace you and CELEBRATE you and all of us here. &nbsp;Really, she means this as a compliment in her own "different" way of communicating. &nbsp;She's stuck on that word, but I truly think she admires you for what you CAN do in fashion and which she apparently can't, or hasn't attempted to do.<br /><br />Also, isn't it interesting (that would be a better word...that you dress in an interesting way), that even when she's on her lunch hour and shopping, she's shopping vicariously for you. &nbsp;Hehe. &nbsp;That means that you are having a subconscious influence on her. &nbsp;Love it.<br /><br />I, too, have changed my style since finding Angie and the YLF forum and I am so grateful to be different. &nbsp;^_^ https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923534 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:28:34 +0000 Ingunn 923534@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I agree, it sounds like a compliment! You certainly deserve it.&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923531 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:26:19 +0000 catgirl 923531@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Embrace it, girl!&nbsp; Three times in a short period is kind of weird, but I think most people just don't know how to express themselves and I think it sounds like she admires your spunk and taste, even if it's not hers. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923528 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:24:02 +0000 DonnaF 923528@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think your boss meant that you dress with *flare* and are willing to take sartorial risks more than the environmental norm.&nbsp; Perhaps you shared a (black) rut pre-YLF?&nbsp; And now, you may have found your groove but will never be in a rut!<br /><br />I'm so glad and relieved that you did not take the *different* comment as an insult.&nbsp; Now, if you had kept that hairy/furry vest and worn it all the time as your signature piece I might think otherwise. . . .<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923507 Thu, 02 May 2013 17:07:20 +0000 kkards 923507@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ next time it comes up, maybe you should ask her. i know in my office, looking a little different is ok, looking a lot different is often interpeted as you don't fit in with the corporate culture. now, i do work for a large company, so there is a lot of room between looking a little different and looking a lot different. but when i started here, the organization was very small, and it was very noticable when someone's look was out of sync with the rest of the teams. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923502 Thu, 02 May 2013 16:58:07 +0000 christieanne 923502@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think your boss was giving you a compliment. She just did so awkwardly and is very lucky to have a strong, self-confident employe such as you on the receiving end. She probably meant to say "of course it isn't as stylish or fashionable as something you would wear". <br />Your sartorial sense is perfect for you Shannon - three cheers for continuing to mix it up, try new things and keep honing that killer style. <br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923499 Thu, 02 May 2013 16:55:37 +0000 Mona 923499@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Definitely a compliment, Shannon! I go through the same thing where I work too. Since joining YLF, my style has evolved a lot and I dress up differently than every body else at work. I get suprprised looks sometimes (hello, golden top) but nobody has ever commented on my style ever. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/being-different#post-923497 Thu, 02 May 2013 16:48:00 +0000 unfrumped 923497@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think it can definitely be a compliment and most likely is, but a lot of that would depend on the position one is in at work. A junior executive-in-training might want to know more about what&nbsp;drives such comments &nbsp;in order to see if her dress choices were aligned with her career goals. And then the old, consider the source. Office politics sometimes means we&nbsp; &nbsp;can't rely on random comments as constructive feedback, the way you might trust a&nbsp;true mentor.<br /><br />I think YLF'ers give great&nbsp; feedback generally, but I'd have to say it's fashion-based and fashion-forward and not as geared toward conservative work environments--though I do think folks can give excellent advice on that&nbsp;when &nbsp;one outlines the parameters and goals. Meaning, not sticking out much due to how one dresses is sometimes a very important goal. It's kind of a self-fulfilling bias on the forum--I don't see much posting of&nbsp; corporate, conservative outfits and it may be because they are not as exciting--look! I'm wearing new gold studs today with my charcoal suit ! (I'm kidding there, and I don't have pierced ears). Actually I think it is just that work dress codes are more relaxed and so we see more business casual and smart casual than what I think of as formal business wear. Or that people post more of their trendy outfits than FFBO's.<br /><br />I understand the mantra "be true to yourself," but it is not universally good advice for career dressing if taken to an extreme. Instead it might mean, within certain dress codes and expectations, there is a way to be yourself, &nbsp;but you might still be constrained in some ways. And then if you feel too constrained, you might need a different job! It kinda depends on whether&nbsp;one buys into clothing as a media for communication,&nbsp;which is dynamic and includes the reactions of those around you, and may not be what you expected or intended. So it is not simple free &nbsp;"expression".&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br />Well, this sounds quite dull and pedantic, and perhaps tangential and doesn't really answer your question!