https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 17 Apr 2026 18:32:30 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing/page/2#post-1989601 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 20:51:45 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1989601@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, brilliant distinction! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989595 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 20:35:54 +0000 Anonymous 1989595@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This reasonably healthy but lazy cook appreciates your food prep work Seconding Angie about the two types of mess, but it sounds like you'll be the happy creative version! And yes to more writing </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989522 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 17:17:49 +0000 Angie 1989522@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You need to start a blog.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Cindy,</b> embracing a creative mess is a beautiful thing - ahem - as long as no one gets hurt!</p> <p>There is "cozy-creative-warm-relaxed-controlled mess", and there is "can't think-pigsty-can't get my life together- unhealthy-dangerous-unfocused mess". Making the distinction between the two is important. I wish you great joy with the former.&nbsp;</p> <p>(Your theory on mess is a cousin to my word "Relaxed" that I chose for 2019).</p> <p>I love that you feel drawn to revisit old hobbies. Life comes full circle so often, doesn't it.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989506 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 16:23:18 +0000 Christina F. 1989506@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for sharing your journey and your thoughts about your future direction, cindy. And do keep writing, as I at least am always interested to see what you contribute on YLF. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989502 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 16:03:44 +0000 Laura 1989502@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is brilliant. I have been thinking&nbsp;a lot about the Japanese term "wabi sabi" and how to let more wabi-sabi into my life. I can tend toward perfectionism, which can create anxiety, and in a house with two boys, a husband and a dog, I can make myself crazy with tidying up.&nbsp;</p> <p>That said, I do make a distinction between a wabi-sabi mindset (the same thing as allowing messiness), and a cluttered or disorganized environment. I need a lot of open space in my home because I can't think in a cluttered environment. So there is a fine line to tread!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989450 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 11:06:25 +0000 cindysmith 1989450@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>ABC, moms are something else LOL. Mine may have been a freak about cleanliness/tidiness, but she also proved to me that women can do anything men can do, except we can do it backwards and in heels :-)</p> <p>Shevia, thank you! It's funny how having all the supplies spread out in front of me helps me see different possibilities as I'm creating, and the mess is oddly satisfying LOL</p> <p>Gigi, man our pasts are a beast. Or maybe it's not the past; maybe it's just us. We humans are our own worst critics, after all; struggling to extend the same kindness and forgiveness to ourselves that we so readily give to others. I hope you can continue to find healing (((hugs)))</p> <p>Jessikams, YES! The expectations I have of myself are so much higher than the expectations I place on others.</p> <p>Sal, I really like thinking of it that way: it's just a sign of tidiness. Seriously, that's profound; it reminds me that labels can be a good thing, as long as we don't let them define us. Being this way isn't better or worse than being that way, it's just DIFFERENT. Thank you for that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989423 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 09:47:48 +0000 Sal 1989423@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great post.</p> <p>Tidiness is not a sign of being a good person, or an interesting person or anything really - except being tidy!!&nbsp; It is great to be tidy but being messy is not a character flaw.</p> <p>Making time for hobbies you love is a great thing and getting back to some of these things is a wonderful idea.&nbsp; Some will resonate again, you may have moved on from others - either is fine.</p> <p>And I love your new hair! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989418 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 09:22:53 +0000 Jessikams 1989418@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thinking along similar lines here. Releasing too-high expectations and accepting “progress not perfection.” </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989413 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 08:02:32 +0000 Gigi 1989413@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This all sounds wonderful to me. I have been working on healing from some serious issues from my past, and I have found myself on a similar path.</p> <p>I think it is great that you are feeling drawn to your old hobbies again and can take them up with fresh eyes. I also like the idea of surrounding yourself with things that are pleasing to the senses--it's so important to provide a pleasant environment for yourself. You have been through a lot.</p> <p>Like&nbsp;<b>torontogirl&nbsp;</b>said, I think that our style journey reflects our entire life journey. I have found experimenting with style to be a very powerful way of working out issues I have relating to my perception of myself. I hope that you will continue to find developing your style healing, even as you cut back on buying. Best wishes to you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989372 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 03:36:31 +0000 Jaime 1989372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, lots going on here Cindy! My creativity is messy too - I am very visual and like to have it all laid out in front of me so to speak. I think you are in the step in your process where you can begin to trust your current self enough to let the good parts of your former self back in.<br />Very interesting and thought provoking, and thanks for sharing and good luck! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989365 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 02:49:55 +0000 abc 1989365@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I really enjoyed that. I am guilty of being too far on the “keep everything in order” side. I have to remind myself that messes clean up. Kinda hate that about myself but it’s learned behavior from my mom. I may adopt your mantra as my own. Creativity is messy. Love it. Please keep sharing and writing! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989363 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 02:20:42 +0000 cindysmith 1989363@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kkards, I'm one of those people that sometimes buys the precut foods. With a chronic illness, I really dont have the energy to cut up fruit or veggies after I spent a shift cutting fruits and vegetables. The cobblers daughter has no shoes, the mechanic's wife's car needs work....</p> <p>Karen, my jeweler's pliers are in a tool bag with other crafting essentials. Where that bag may be is a mystery to me LOL</p> <p>Cardiffgirl, aawwww, thanks XOXOXO</p> <p>Suz, I don't know that I'm necessarily stronger now than in the early days of recovery, but I do believe that these things are showing up in my life right now because it's finally time to heal some of those wounds. And thank you for the cheering section you guys seem to be forming, trying to encourage me to write XOXOXO</p> <p>Jane, most of the people who take me up on my offer to cook if I'll clean it? Enjoy cooking and are far better at it than I, I almost feel like I'm cheating or something LOL</p> <p>BJ1111, aaaawww, thank you for being part of the cheering section XOXOXOXO </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989360 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 01:40:36 +0000 bj1111 1989360@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>In the “Cindy writes more” bandwagon.</p> <p>How you write about your journey is a matter of fact yet emotionally resonant way enriches all of us. Thank you from a fan.</p> <p>And a big yes to creativity and all the mess it comes with. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989256 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 18:53:07 +0000 Jane 1989256@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love the generosity of 'you cook and I will clean' in your kitchen. And that your perfume can be your accent at work. I am looking forward to more of your posts. And absolutely supportive of the messy direction, this sounds fun and fresh. I also predict more Celine style findings coming your way!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989242 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 17:43:17 +0000 Suz 1989242@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cindy, thank you for these open, honest, and eloquent reflections. Joining <b>Fashintern </b>on <u>Team Get Cindy to Write More</u> -- because you express yourself so well and your posts are always so interesting and rich.&nbsp;</p> <p>What you said about giving up some of your other pleasures when you gave up your addiction rings true because often we "pair" or piggy-back habits. Early in your recovery it might have been too dangerous to allow yourself sensual reminders of the time when you were actively drinking because those sensual experiences and memories are so powerful that they would lead to extra temptation. Your urge to return to some of those creative joys suggests that you are stronger now, ready to face those regrets, and able to reintegrate the joyful and fun aspects of your past life. That's inspiring.&nbsp;</p> <p>Also, your job is a tough one. On your feet, doing underappreciated work, getting "bossed around." As <b>Kkards</b> said, it is important work, especially for the harried and the elderly.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989235 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 17:13:19 +0000 Cardiff girl 1989235@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Some people’s messy is another’s creative organisation.You sound like you have truly reflected on you life as it is now and how you would like to see it move forward in a positive and creative way.This is one of the best New Years resolutions that I have read,good for you Cindy,Here s wishing you and your loved ones a very happy,and creative,New Year. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989231 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 16:57:06 +0000 karen13 1989231@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your post resonated with me on so many levels. Navel gazing can lead to small changes in self-care that yield great joy. </p> <p>And yay for messy! I have always been a messy person, particularly when I create. I can't create neatly. I'm sitting in my newly created, partly-moved into "she cave" where I finally have all my creative materials and office stuff in one space I don't have to share with guests or exercise equipment or other storage. And it is a disaster. But still a happy place. I need to stop fretting about organizing it neatly and start making more stuff. As soon as I can find my jewelry pliers :)</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989218 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 15:56:57 +0000 kkards 1989218@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>1st...thank you for cutting up my fruits and veggies...while i know that i can cut them up myself, i know that many times, many many times, i couldn't eat that&nbsp;cantaloupe or&nbsp;broccoli if it wasn't cut up...and as a single person, let's face it, i don't need an entire pineapple....<br />growing up it was our house rule that if if you cooked dinner you didn't need to clean up from dinner...i learned to cook LOL...<br />but i digress...YES to reconnecting to your creative side...yes, to being self aware and knowing what you want to do and what you can do...yes to getting messy, and more importantly, know when its ok to get messy and when it's not...</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989217 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 15:49:01 +0000 cindysmith 1989217@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nemosmom, I may have a goal or three, but I'm sadly lacking in any concrete plans to achieve those goals :-/ LOL</p> <p>Lyn, creativity is definitely messy. Heck, LIFE is messy, why not just embrace the mess :-D</p> <p>Lisa, yes. You totally make sense. I've reached an age and stage of life where hormones are raging and I've got enough experience under my belt that I definitely want to know who I am, and I want the world to know who I am without having to explain it to them with words. And yes, I can wear scent to work; which is good since they regulate so many other aspects of our attire and grooming. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989215 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 15:38:34 +0000 Anonymous 1989215@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's funny - I nodded along with much of what you wrote, and briefly lost myself in my own sense of loss and disconnection from the past and the things I loved to do ......I can't articulate why I related to your words, necessarily, but I do get wanting to bring back the things that made you/us/me/whatever who we were/are. &nbsp;Does that make any sense at all? &nbsp;Anyways, the scent thoughts are interesting too - but surely you can't wear scent to work? &nbsp;I have been toying with buying a new one myself, &nbsp; but there are so many places that scent is no longer appropriate, that it seems kind of wasteful. I don't know.....</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989213 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 15:37:30 +0000 lyn67 1989213@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great insights and I am just happy that somebody other than&nbsp; me feels the same: "creative means (some) mess"! I certainly am considering myself a very tidy person:-) BUT I also recognise that I cannot achieve a pure&nbsp; minimalist life environment because I often&nbsp; keep hold on&nbsp; way more things and stuff then others with future&nbsp; creative DIY projects in my mind- and that means a certain type and amount of mess around my things others wouldn't even understand. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989209 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 15:22:12 +0000 nemosmom 1989209@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congratulations on your recovery, and thank you for sharing the story of your journey with us. I am excited to see how your experimentation plays out this year as I have a similar goal to get creative with my existing wardrobe and home environment (but, still navel gazing with no plan ha!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989194 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 14:13:32 +0000 cindysmith 1989194@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bijou, I may have to break out the journal and write about what these scents trigger in me. It's probably something I need to look at :-)</p> <p>Rachylou, I am looking forward to reading more about your Thought Project, too! It sounds like it's going to give me much food for thought XOXOXOXO </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989190 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 14:10:13 +0000 cindysmith 1989190@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>TorontoGirl, thank you for the kind words of support! I'm looking forward to seeing your limited buy year and the creativity it inspires in you &lt;3</p> <p>Janet, it's not REALLY weird for someone to not wear scent, I just like pretending my DH is weird because he won't wear what I think I want him to wear LOL</p> <p>Fashintern, I don't feel like I'm doing anything differently than the rest of you when you're being introspective. It's just that recovery is such a part of my identity that it would feel weird NOT to share it with you guys, I guess XOXOXO </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989189 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 14:08:12 +0000 Helena 1989189@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy, I hope you'll share more of this Thought Project with us at some point ... I'm intrigued!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989185 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 14:05:14 +0000 rachylou 1989185@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This dovetails, I feel, with my current ‘thought project’ - mulling Ralph Lauren’s approach to fashion, which is picturing a whole life. The clothes follow that (and then, I guess, the sheets and towels, lol). I don’t suppose he isn’t the most influential fashion figure in my life actually. He nabbed me in the 80s and I’ve never gotten away from that concept. Got to think about it all, not just the clothes... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989184 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 14:04:09 +0000 Bijou 1989184@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cindy, approaching your cutting back of purchases as an opportunity to be more creative is inspiring. I also think you will find joy in music and engaging your senses and entertaining friends. </p> <p>I love perfume and find that certain scents trigger different memories. I have to be careful about the ones that I wear because certain fragrances can send Bijou (my dog) into sneezing fits. So I only wear ones that pass the doggie allergy test. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989179 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 13:49:32 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1989179@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Brilliant decisions, all of them (not just the one that delighted me with the shout-out). I echo TG's gratitude for sharing your "journey" with us. Your process of getting sober is wonderful to watch. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989177 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 13:48:02 +0000 Janet 1989177@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What great musings and insights to carry you into the new year with good practices and intentions! Rock on.</p> <p>I guess I’m weird because neither hubs nor I wear scent either. His mom wears enough for both of us. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/be-messy-2019-goals-long-navel-gazing#post-1989173 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 13:38:58 +0000 Helena 1989173@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cindy, thank you for being so open about your journey. I am absolutely a believer in the "All is One" philosophy of life - meaning the way we approach our style journey is in some ways reflective of our entire life journey. To me your "no buy" as a means to path to greater creativity of dress is such a wonderful metaphor for how sobriety is leading you back to a greater, purer experience of the sensory joys of life!</p> <p>Looking forward to following your journey through the New Year. I am working out some version of a 'limited buy' year for myself too, so I'll be especially interested and inspired. xx </p>