YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Backsliding

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Backsliding https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 17 Apr 2026 13:30:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php AviaMariah on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding/page/2#post-1407537 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 16:15:50 +0000 AviaMariah 1407537@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm only going to repeat what others have said.  But I thought I'd jump in here because I am right behind you on the crazy mom train.  With DD1 I found dressing post partum almost harder than maternity.  I think part of it is you expect to be able to dress "normal" and that's just not the case with bf limitations, hot flashes, lack of sleep, little time to yourself, fluctuating weight, and crazy hormones.  At least that was my experience the first time around.  Add that to your deep winters and looming return to work and it's no wonder you're feeling a bit in a funk.  I think you should treat your return to work wardrobe much like your maternity wardrobe; have few functional pieces that work together and are easy to care for.  I don't know if you plan on having more kids but if you don't, you will have plenty of time to reevaluate your wardrobe once things settle in.  And I'm with you on the no dry cleaning, ease of care etc.  I get to spend way too little time with my girl(s) to be worrying about sticky fingers on dry clean only garments.  There will be plenty of time for that in the future if I care for it.  Good luck with the last half of maternity leave.  Isn't it crazy how fast it goes? MsMary on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding/page/2#post-1407366 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 04:58:51 +0000 MsMary 1407366@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Big hugs from me, too, Thistle!  I can so relate to so much of what you've written!  When I was a young working mother, fashion was the very furthest thing from my mind!  I had probably a week's worth of work outfits and some barely-fit-to-leave-the-house casual clothes, and that was it, because I was too busy with life to worry about fashion.  And I only had one baby!!  You are miles ahead of me already because, as others have already pointed out, you know what you like and what suits you already. More recently, I've been living in a construction zone for months, and working on the remodel and the decorating project, and my interest in fashion has waned as my creative energy and my money have been directed elsewhere.  So like you, I've been distracted from fashion for a happy reason.  I think that's just fine -- life has seasons and we need to enjoy the season we're in!  Fashion will still be there when we're ready to pay attention to it again! And yes, it is possible to look polished and good and have it be easy.  It takes a little effort on the front end (okay, maybe more than a little effort), but once you have your wardrobe up and running you really can go on auto-pilot and let your closet do the work for you!  I've been living proof of that for the past five months!  I think for you a uniform of pants (and as somebody said upthread, nobody knows or cares if you wear the same black pants every day) and a cozy washable top and cardigan or ponte knit jacket would be just the thing.  But there's no hurry -- enjoy your sweet baby and worry about the clothes when things calm down a bit! Alassë on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding/page/2#post-1407220 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 00:41:35 +0000 Alassë 1407220@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm agreeing with the others, Thistle. Hugs! tolkitty on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1406911 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 16:06:19 +0000 tolkitty 1406911@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Thistle, I think you're incredibly wise to understand what your needs and priorities are, and to make decisions that work for you. With the stresses of everyday life and busy routines, you need a wardrobe that is functional and practical for you! I also live and work in an area far from a "fashion hotspot", and I'm learning how to filter trends and "advice" based on what works in my environment. For example, I live in a rural area and go everywhere by car, and since I live on a dirt road my car is always dirty! It's not worth it to buy any white clothing, because it would simply get dirty in seconds. We also have a long winter, and while corduroy pants might be considered frumpy and casual by others, where I live they are considered dressier than jeans. Meets the work dress code, comfy, easy to wash, and WARM - works for me! Oh, and I rarely bother with what seems like the "hassle" of makeup. ;)  I enjoy finding inspiration here at YLF (whether practical, aspirational, or simply aesthetically pleasing) and living vicariously through others. I am curious and love to learn about life in other places. I have a strong artistic/creative side and seek ways to express this through clothing and styling. Off the top of my head, these are a few of my personal reasons for participating in the forum.  Firecracker (Sharan) on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1406168 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 07:12:37 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1406168@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thistle, this is an illuminating run-down on what your style is about right now. And so much of what you say resonates with me. I am a cardigan gal at heart. Finally I'm finding some jackets I like. But I still reach for my cardigans more, and I've added some pullover sweaters to my repertoire. I don't like dry-cleaning or hand-washing (though I have realized I need wool and cashmere in my life for the warmth). I want a wardrobe that is easy-care and easy to wear. I agree with others that I would try to avoid thinking of backsliding. You're not dressing for work now, and you are on leave caring for your new baby, so of course you are wearing more casual clothes. You have a wonderful style, and I'm glad you've shared it with us here. I hope you'll get back to doing some WIWs when you have the time. Meanwhile, it's great to have you share your thoughts. Peri on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1406082 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 02:32:54 +0000 Peri 1406082@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thistle, my best suggestion is to banish the word backsliding. It implies failure. You are not failing, you have simply hit the pause button for the most wonderful of reasons. Why shouldn't fashion take a backseat for however long you need it to? You just have other priorities right now. And if you are feeling a bit overwhelmed...who wouldn't be? Are there any moms of newborns who don't? Do you have pants that work for you...comfortable, easy care, and acceptable looking? Buy 3...or 4...pairs and wear them exclusively. No one notices pants. Wear the same pants all winter...as long as you've always got a clean pair, no one will be the wiser. Do you have a sweater you like? Buy it in several colors.  I hope the makeup discussion didn't make you feel so bad. You said you would never be stylish because you don't wear makeup...I love makeup, doesn't mean you have to. I wear gym shoes with nice clothes, a "style" that makes many people shudder in horror. I've seen your shoes...they are so much better than mine! We just do what we can. "Be kind, always" also means being kind to yourself. missvee on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1406070 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 01:51:09 +0000 missvee 1406070@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm agreeing with the others that you've always had a very good sense of what suits you and what doesn't, and that's a rare talent IMHO. I don't see anything wrong with adopting a uniform that suits your body type and your lifestyle - look at Emanuelle Alt and her ever present skinnies/shirt/heels/blazer. Everyone is gaga over her style, even though it's the same silhouette virtually every time. I've always been very interested in fashion but more as a spectator sport really, an appreciation of the creativity that goes into the design. But I'm more than happy to adopt a winter look of cords or jeans plus sweater, and maybe add some interest with a bit of jewelry or a nice scarf. What's important now is time with your precious girls, so enjoy yourself and know that your " style quotient " is just fine! Caro in Oz on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1406066 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 01:38:55 +0000 Caro in Oz 1406066@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Agreeing with the wisdom here. I love fashion but I think, in the long run, it is easier for those of us who aren't made for it. We have to find our own way earlier :) You seem to know yourself & your needs very well - it sounds to me more like the beginning of finding your own style than a descent into frump.  gradfashionista on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1406051 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 00:56:58 +0000 gradfashionista 1406051@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thistle, sorry to hear you're feeling a bit blue. When I read your post, #4 and #5 resonated with me, especially the frustration with having a shape that is "not conducive to fashion" and not "loving fashion," perhaps because of our very casual environments.In an effort to cheer you up, this bit has also uplifted my mood, namely: there is no shape conducive to fashion. There are trends, they're never permanent, and they're not universal. (Now to negotiate the skirts that do not fit anymore).  I think it is possible to feel polished without much difficulty if you have a well-curated minimalist wardrobe. With kids, that might mean having duplicates of items, but I have found reducing the numbers of items, even if it means boxing them up for a season or two, to be helpful in streamlining the decision process. You seem to know have a strong sense of what works for you, perhaps trying something like 333 will make getting dressed more enjoyable and easier? It's hard not to feel frumpy in the dark depths of winter, but you might find that a seasonal blue lamp (my mother and I have one by Phillips) will perk up your mood.  Jules on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1406049 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 00:52:09 +0000 Jules 1406049@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I can relate to a lot of this. Especially, pants. And machine washable - I won't even do much in the way of ironing. After a period of ylf-inspired experimentation, I've reverted back to a couple of uniforms. I don't feel the need to try trends I don't immediately love. I find it much easier to stick to a couple of silhouettes that are practical for the season and flattering enough, getting my variety from colour and texture. And, I feel great in my clothes catgirl on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1406011 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 23:15:14 +0000 catgirl 1406011@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Well, it's all been said but I'm going to add this.  I ADORE fashion and I still feel as you do and want to rip my hair out getting dressed most days.  Can you imagine the state I'd be in if it wasn't a passion for me?  :)   Give yourself a break - you are  juggling loads of things and should prioritize what you truly love.  Honestly, most people are not noticing the details as we do here on YLF, and it's okay to cut yourself some slack if you're not PPL or JFE or whatever every day.  Hugs! Angie on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405977 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 22:36:27 +0000 Angie 1405977@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Darling, Thistle. There is so much love and wisdom for you on this thread. It's quite moving. A big thanks to all for your awfully kind, compassionate, thoughtful and wise responses.  Thistle, you are in a brilliant position actually, because you know what you need, like and want - and are happy about it. That's key. It's when you're not happy with your needs, likes and wants that the cobwebs set in, and so begins the negative spiral. It is SO okay to not love fashion. (I have many clients in your position actually). You can absolutely look polished, professional and presentable by building onto your epiphanies here. I don't see this as a step back at all. It's a step forward because you've identified what is most important in your life. Style starts from within - and when it feels right - it's effortlessly manageable and authentic.  On that note, it's important that you feel good about yourself, which is hard to do postpartum with 6 long months of bitter Winter ahead of you. It's a pleasure for us to help you get through this period so that you're back to feeling more "yourself". The happier you are within yourself, the better example and influence you are to your children. That might be your most important motivating factor when it comes to your interest in fashion and style. And that works well too.  I'm excited to work on a postpartum wardrobe with you. Don't sell yourself short. You looked great in your last WIW's, and I have no doubt that you will feel that way again. From what I pieced together, you have a hubs who dotes on you, and enjoys your style. What a gift. Much love always. xo (Many thanks to Elisabeth, Suz and Gaylene for your awfully kind words about YLF).  thimblelina on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405959 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 22:04:14 +0000 thimblelina 1405959@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Good thoughts all! I'm sending more. Postpartum is fugly in the best of circumstances. If you're not stark-something (naked... raving mad... you fill in the blanks...) consider yourself ahead of the game. Hugs! viva on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405949 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 21:50:05 +0000 viva 1405949@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, Thistle! First, I envy you sitting and nursing your new child. I hope you are enjoying this time, getting some sleep, and loving your baby. My girls are grown and I can hardly remember those days, but if I try very hard I can feel what it was like to have my oldest fall asleep on my chest. Sublime. I have had on-and-off struggles with feelings similar to yours since joining YLF. I honestly thought I loved fashion, but somewhere along the way I realized that I love beauty -- or what I personally find beautiful or interesting. Sometimes it's fashionable, and sometimes it's not. I don't read any other fashion blogs, I don't buy fashion magazines, and I probably could not name 5 favorite designers. All I can tell you is that sometimes I see something and I have a visceral response to it. But a lot of times, I'm just "meh" about the whole thing. I have a casual life, work from home, and spend many a day in pajamas or gym clothes, especially in the winter when the lack of sun for weeks on end can send me into quite a tailspin. YLF has gotten me to the point of dressing much more often, which I am actually quite grateful for.  And on those days, I try be thoughtful and, like Rachy, ask -- "is this me?" -- rather than "is this fashionable?" I guess what I am saying is, not everyone out here wants to work hard at fashion either, but there is room for all of us. :)  Astrid on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405943 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 21:30:02 +0000 Astrid 1405943@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Joining Gaylene and the others on the bench. I don't read fashion magazines either and I don't read fashion blogs, or many blogs full stop. The only blogs I'm looking at from time to time are about minimalism. I was never into fashion and I didn't get clothes and style. I thought I could never figure it out. Like everyone had this inborn sense about getting dressed but me. When I found this place here I finally thought it was a thing that wasn't out of reach, that I could learn it too. And I did learn a lot and like Gaylene said, I think I'm now dressing a lot better than many people I see on the street. But I still don't care about fashion with a big F. I care about feeling good about my clothes and wearing clothes that make me feel good about myself. I also care about being a sensible consumer and buying things that work for me and my life, things that I really use. Also, practicality always comes first. YLF taught me the joy of looking at clothes, outfits and other people's (often very different) style without feeling like I necessarily need to take part in everything and that I don't need to find myself lacking because of that. Gaylene on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405932 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 21:15:05 +0000 Gaylene 1405932@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thistle, can you, Elizabeth, and Torontogirl push over on the bench to make room for me--along with a few others who might be joining us? Elisabeth (Az) pretty much summed up my feelings in her comment. I LIKE fashion but I don't love it. Fashion blogs bore me to tears (with YLF being the sole exception for many the same reasons others have articulated). but I also think that reading Angie's blog and participating in the forum has a subliminal effect on my dressing. You learn things that you can't unlearn. I'm now more conscious of details and styling tips that seem to make even my most casual outfits look a bit better than many that I see on the street. Be happy in your sweats and sweater with your family around you in the Wisconsin winter. Wear what seems practical when you go back to work. But also know that many of the small tweaks and lessons you've already incorporated into your thinking from being on this website will make a difference. ironkurtin on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405926 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 21:09:14 +0000 ironkurtin 1405926@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Haven't read all the responses.  I think you are very, very wise to know what you need, like, and care about.  There is absolutely nothing wrong or flawed with that approach in any way.  Our clothing exists to serve us, and it does that best by being selected with serving us in mind.  If you've come to time-honored conclusions about that, you're more than halfway there! As far as your figure, you are as you are made.  I personally have favorite brands that get me, and I think you might be best served by finding and buying those brands and being loyal. I know you don't like the buy/return spiral, but maybe buying EIleen Fisher (say) in one big go, knowing you will return a bunch of it, and trying it all on is not a bad way to deal -- buying and returning or a year or season at once, then having done. DonnaF on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405912 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 20:54:23 +0000 DonnaF 1405912@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Please don't be so hard on yourself!!!  And yes, you have learned quite a bit here on your path, including The Power of Footwear and you have quite a nice stylish collection.  Perhaps aim for Stylish vs. Fashionable in a way that reflects you and your casual lifestyle?  A year or two ago I gave up buying anything DCO.  It eliminates some choices, but maybe that's good.  Mesh bags and the the Hand Wash and Delicate cycles are my friend.  I've even found quite a number of jackets/toppers/blazers that are washable. Cardigans tend not to look good on me, but some knit jackets do!  They can be as comfy as a cardi and just as washable.  Some have minor shoulder pads for shape.  Just a thought.  rachylou on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405911 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 20:50:46 +0000 rachylou 1405911@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Back to say, on the subject of being fashionable: While I *do* love fashion and being in on the trends, I've noticed that my style is not *F*ashionable. When I get dressed, I ask Is this Quirky Waif? I don't ask Is this Fashionable? I don't think it would work for me if I tried to do the style called Fashionable, if that makes any sense... rachylou on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405899 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 20:26:13 +0000 rachylou 1405899@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmm. I don't know, Thistle. Could be winter moodiness. I mean, I'm a chronic sufferer of *seasonal fashion fog* that's for sure. Seems to me, you've built a sweet wardrobe that includes pants. Also, coincidentally, just yesterday I was talking to myself about how jackets don't work for me that well. I run too cold. Wearing a sweater under the jacket solves the problem... but really the jacket is superfluous and it gets awkward with so many layers... so what's the point? I'm not sure how effortless the whole shopping thing can be, tho. Forget fashion. I've needed a new functional long-length puffer forever. Winter coats barely arrived in the shops two weeks ago, and no long puffers. Arggghg!! Thistle on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405897 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 20:22:32 +0000 Thistle 1405897@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Busted on the sweats and pullover. :). I don't leave the house moats days, and everything I wear needs to be warm, soft for baby, and machine washable because of baby AND her big sister. When I do go out, it's jeans and a sweater. :) Az, I totally agree with you on YLF. It is the only "blog" I follow at all, and frankly, I come for the forum where there is interaction with both Angie and all of the fab members of YLF. I don't read fashion magazines, follow blogs, or watch shows. It's just not fun to me. I need to find that ultimate fabrication - soft, kind to my skin, easily washable, and durable! texstyle on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405896 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 20:16:33 +0000 texstyle 1405896@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hey Thistle -  I think it's probably very normal to be feeling a little out of sorts with fashion right now. Heck, it's not even really cold here and I can get in a sort of winter "funk" - and I don't have a newborn keeping me up all hours of the night! So what's my excuse? Holiday blues? Probably. Anyway, I hope you and baby are doing well and you are taking good care of yourself. I can't remember if you have family in the immediate area or if they offer any assistance, but from my own friends and family's experiences, I realize that it can be overwhelming having a second child when the first one is still very young. So, I agree you have to give yourself a pretty big break. You've done a tremendous job of looking very pulled together and stylish time and time again. And as for "veteran" status, if that meant we are supposed to have our fashion sense all sorted I think many of us would fail. We're all learning, trying, experimenting at our own speeds I think. You already said that you work/live in a very casual environment, so that is great for right now it seems. You can choose how much time/effort to put into fashion and there's not a lot of social pressure over it. But you can still stay interested if you want, I find it nearly as enjoyable (maybe more) to talk about other people's outfits and shopping here on YLF. It's fun to try to give constructive criticism and such. Suz on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405889 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 19:42:29 +0000 Suz 1405889@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What Aziriphale said.  And HUGS!!!  I am in actually in AWE of your gentle persistence and determination to look your best. To think of what you have gone through the past few years, with toddler, extreme weather, serious loss, other family stress, pregnancy, new baby....sheesh, woman. Give yourself a break!!!  Like the others, I've seen your style develop since you got here. If you need a few months just to hunker down with baby in your sweats and a pullover, well, that makes a lot of sense to me. Honestly, I liked fashion as a teen and 20-something and followed it a bit -- but felt discouraged that I didn't seem to have the "gene" nor the money to finance the wardrobe I dreamed of.  Fast forward to the family building years and I didn't pay attention to fashion at all!  So in my book, you are doing amazingly.  To everything there is a time and a season, and winter in Wisconsin is not the high fashion season.  Aziraphale on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405879 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 19:26:42 +0000 Aziraphale 1405879@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thistle, I enjoyed reading your insights and I can empathize on many points (even though we have totally different fit challenges!). It sounds like you actually have a pretty good handle on what's important to you. As far as not loving fashion -- to be honest, I can't say I do either. At least, not in the sense of following high fashion. I do like clothes, and I do like feeling happy in my clothes. But I never buy fashion magazines, I couldn't care less about fashion bloggers*, I'm not that experimental, and I like what I like. I read Angie's blog with pleasure because of the advice, and I enjoy this forum because gives me a place to exchange ideas about fashion (and sometimes off-topic things too), but I'm not a die-hard. So I can totally relate to you there. I hate hand washing too. With the fire of a thousand suns. So we got a machine that has a hand wash cycle. It comes in handy. :-) On the topic of thinness: it's true that we see the clothes on thin models, and thin is awarded a certain privilege in our culture. But thin is not the only way to be beautiful. You also don't have to be thin to have style. Style is more than just the clothes you wear. I have a number of friends who will 'never be thin', as you say, and they are stylish and gorgeous. Also, I'm with you on the skirts. I know skirts look good on me, and my legs are probably my best feature so why not show them off...but I'm a pants girl at heart too.  Finally, remember to go easy on yourself -- the postpartum period is tricky for a lot of us. :-) *Except Angie, but I don't like her simply because she's a fashion blogger. There are a million of those, and since they are strangers, I am profoundly disinterested in looking at their outfits. But Angie doesn't feel like a stranger. Angie and Greg have approached this differently: they have set up an awesome website where there's interaction and feedback -- an ongoing conversation between not only the host and each participant individually, but also between the forum participants. It's brilliant. THAT'S why I come here. Helena on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405878 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 19:23:32 +0000 Helena 1405878@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Thistle, I just wanted to tell you I am so relating to your sentiments ... I took am a very casual person living a very casual life. I often put on "outfits" that I know look good but are so not me ... I am a hundred times happier in my plain tee and jeans, sans accessories (or at least with very few). I also don't want to stand out for my clothes - I want to blend in. That's my personality; it's not about lacking confidence or anything, to me it makes me feel appropriate and at ease to hit somewhere in the middle ground when it comes to dressing.  It's taken me some time to come to terms with that. The one thing that does help me is to think that, because of experimentation and learning (e.g. on this forum), I feel confident that I know what make a tee flattering, and same for the jeans. I know better how to accessorize, and so my choice not to become a deliberate expression of personal style, rather than something I don't do because I don't know how. I am sure that all you have learned from YLF and your various experimentation means that, if you are a casual girl at heart, you can do casual well, in a way that's you. You can bring a degree of intention to your dressing, which IMO is what makes someone look pulled together - even in yoga pants and a hoodie!  No skirts or toppers in sight!! (I tend to avoid those as well). Just my thoughts - perhaps putting a bit too much of my own "stuff" into this response - but for what it's worth ... :) deb on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405873 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 19:07:43 +0000 deb 1405873@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Post delivery is such a tough time, both mentally and physically. Plus the weather is not helping at all. I hear you on the cardigans, I love them. Cany pull off the long cardigans that are in the stores right now? One in a pretty color may help your  winter/post pregnancy doldrums.  Just a thought. unfrumped on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405872 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 19:06:32 +0000 unfrumped 1405872@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It's Winter in Wisconsin With a Baby! That would challenge anyone, I think. Seriously, I hear you on whether I might be in a situation where I've put together an outfit and it's not actually "me" or for my lifestyle. I'm just about to miss an entire "party season" due to work schedule and will then hope that the items I planned to wear are still usable another time or year. You've done a great job of creating good-looking, polished  outfits. But you've identified you need Really Good Pants --and heaven knows, those are HEWI's for most people. Your upscale washable knits or washable blends can still work, hence Talbot's is still a good source. Maybe you will end up repeating more and duplicating the pants that are the best. There've been plenty of discussions on, who can tell which pair of black pants we're wearing, anyway--and I probably have the world's largest collection. Your cashmere sweaters are fab, but there's room for washable heavier knits, and wear your favorite colors when you can find them. This is all focused on workwear, as a start. It sounds like you might fit the pattern of a smaller wardrobe of the best items with repeats, with maybe a selection of necklaces or similar accessory to change up, but with washable items you would need to replace regularly as items get pilled or show other wear and tear. For home you've had some great jeans + tops looks, and of course sporty knitwear if you can find retailers you like. Again, happy colors. Keep the faith! Need  more light rays. abc on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405868 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 18:59:23 +0000 abc 1405868@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I hear you on wants vs needs.  I struggle with this all the time.  If you can, maybe put together enough to get you buy the first few weeks, then see what works and what doesn't and go from there.  I know that could be an overwhelming task right now, but I find it's better to actually see what I need after wearing stuff than try to guess beforehand (I've made a lot of mistakes that way).   Also I was going to mention about your point 2 on the jackets, I know your workplace may be too formal for this, but I have a couple that are made of knit or ponte and they are my go-to toppers because they have that ease/give a regular blazer doesn't have.  I know you have the extra challenge of fitting your bustline, though. Good luck and honestly try not to be hard on yourself.  You have a ton on your plate, I remember going back to work after having my 2nd and it is tough enough without adding pressure on yourself. Thistle on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405860 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 18:27:49 +0000 Thistle 1405860@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hard to believe, but I am already half way through the maximum amount of maternity leave you can take in the US. I am covered by FMLA, so I get 12 weeks. Very jealous of my British counterparts right now! Even my Chinese counterparts get more leave, and it is paid(!). Anyway, I digress. But yes, it is time to out a post maternity wardrobe together. I am hoping to use a lot of pieces from before as I would rather not spend much on a new wardrobe I may or may not fit for long. a few key pieces, etc. Bringing up the stuff I had packed away got me thinking. So, musings as I think through what I want versus what I need. merwoman on "Backsliding" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/backsliding#post-1405849 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 18:00:36 +0000 merwoman 1405849@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ First of all, HUGS to you Thistle! It seems to me that you have got yourself remarkably 'sorted' - you've got your lifestyle figured out,  and you know what works for you. I'd say that was veteran like behaviour You rock beautiful lady! And as far as defining fashionable - you know that we each define it for ourselves.  It's all about feeling good in what we choose to put on - be it a great pair of shoes, a scarf whatever. You don't need me to tell you dear Thistle that it is ok to put 'fashion' on the back burner during this very hectic time of your life.