https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 22 Apr 2026 15:36:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-872647 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 16:57:45 +0000 rae 872647@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah, hose! I will do that. Duh, Rae. And that is exactly what I told DH... I cannot dress for him at work. Just a fact o' life... </p> <p>Tara... all of the above? There is a lot of standing still at this store, and I run cold, and there will be lots of A/C in the summer. These pants would be wonderful for 70-80 degrees... I even wore the micro plaids in 90-degree weather to DFS. Super for the heat! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-872629 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 16:43:59 +0000 tarzy 872629@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm confused - how warm do you need the pants to be? Soon enough we'll have temps in the high '70s and '80s. Is it the AC in the store you're concerned about? Do you think you'll be moving around enough to warm you up? Or do you just run cold? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-872590 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 16:08:16 +0000 Angie 872590@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You can pop hose under those pants! I do that all the time - you know I run cold. </p> <p>I respect that DH's style opinion is important to you. I would never want it not to be! You might have to dress in ways that don't tickle his fancy some of the time - because you're in the Rag Trade now. You just can't please everyone 24/7. And that's okay xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-872576 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 15:44:22 +0000 rae 872576@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for chiming in, Angie. It has been very stressful. I was trying outfits with my slouchy silk pants last night and got an earful of opinion from DH again... sigh. And those are my trendiest pants right now. I wish they were thicker and warmer so I could wear them way more often. I think I have most of the pieces, too. I need to lay them all out together so I can visualize the potential combos. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-872567 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 15:34:22 +0000 Angie 872567@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such great advice :)</p> <p>Definitely let go of the past! Purge those items! I do hope you keep your Sloans though. I feel that you do anything with them. </p> <p>Rae, I really think you have the pieces - and the new 'do changes the landscape of your outfits by a billion percent. With a bit more experimentation - you can achieve daily non-denim trendy and fashion forward looks by shopping your closet. Put pieces together in different ways. You *might* need to address footwear. </p> <p>And by and by, you'll add more of the right pieces that suit this lifestyle to your wardrobe. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-872462 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 13:26:11 +0000 Anonymous 872462@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've nothing to add to the great advice you've been given, but know you will be able make this transition in style and the exercise is going to be so valuable as you help others. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-872449 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 13:14:05 +0000 Suz 872449@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's a great attitude, Rae. Your work wardrobe is really important now in a way it wasn't before. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-872389 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 07:27:26 +0000 rae 872389@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, all! I wish I could comment more individually, but I need to hit the sack. </p> <p>I have some homework to do soon, though!</p> <p>- Purge all that leave a bad taste from the past (Thanks, Claire! No looking back!)<br /> - Then re-evaluate whether or not I have enough to last through S/S (Several of you asked if I can make do).<br /> - Tailor/Alter if possible<br /> - Identify wardrobe holes (I think proper trousers and a black blazer are probably big holes, but I won't jump up and buy right away). </p> <p>Thanks especially to those who gave me mental permission to let go of the past. I need to jump in with both feet here, and old baggage would just weigh me down. Seriously, I hated spending $ on my corporate wardrobe knowing my heart wasn't in it... now that my heart IS in it, I should take it seriously and not just "eat leftovers." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-872340 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 05:06:46 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 872340@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>"Corporate drag"! Claire, that term is so great! What a concept. Your idea of being genuine at work and away from work, and having the two wardrobes blend and coordinate, is wonderful.<br /> Rae, thanks for sharing your thoughts on the style transition. I've learned a lot from reading this thread. I would only add that your WIW photos should be a treasure trove of ideas as you make this change. You can go through them and envision yourself, wearing those outfits, in your new position and environment. Take the outfits, or the pieces, that fit, and work from there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-872325 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 04:42:50 +0000 CocoLion 872325@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would give yourself time to acquire new clothes and footwear that work for your job. In the meantime, do not be afraid to look classic. By that I mean, black trousers or pencil skirt and a white shirt. You can accessorize these looks to change them up, and this formula will come in handy when you can't think of what to wear. This is my work formula and it never fails to look polished and professional (I think in many lines of work). You have a very chic hair cut and that will add a lot of style to this basic formula. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-872318 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 04:29:19 +0000 ElleH 872318@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm thinking some pants like Angie's grey Theory ones, relaxed like she wears them. They are lightweight wool so could probably be worn all year round at work. I also think a couple of KILLER blazers will make you feel dressier, hipper, maybe a military style one. Maybe a coloured or white leather moto as well. I know these are kind of expensive suggestions though. I don't know if this answered your question exactly. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-872070 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 00:35:41 +0000 Spiffy 872070@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nothing constructive to offer, just sending you be cyber hugs. Big life transitions are hard enough but when they also impact your style and external presentation to the world, it can be even harder. You're clearly a smart, introspective and funny lady. I have faith you'll come out the other side shining. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-871984 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 23:20:17 +0000 lyn* 871984@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have no tips for you, just lots of empathy. It's hard to change all of a sudden, but I'm pretty sure you will come out of it even more stylish than ever!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-871973 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 23:13:15 +0000 Aida 871973@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you are on the right track by sorting through what you have that works, and then thinking on it. I took a quick peek at your older post about pants, and I think you've got a pretty good base so far. It may be worth playing dress-up for a day and jot down combos that work, as well as what you find missing. Have to also agree with Claire that if you can manage it, it's worth not using the banking items that you have bad associations with. After all, this is the time to start anew!</p> <p>I think your biggest hurdle at the moment is going to be shoes though; to pull off the more distressed clothing items you are going to need sleek, refined footwear. Think of a basic work outfit: slim pants + silk blouse + distressed moto OR bright sweater + slouchy pants OR cropped jacket + midi dress. And now think of how different those all will look with rugged chunky boots versus refined patent pumps.</p> <p>My "work style" is probably still a step down from what you're after, but I have a hunch that they're going to end up looking rather similar. With me having a little more 70s/punk edge and yours more rugged/utilitarian. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse/page/2#post-871950 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 22:56:22 +0000 Nicole D 871950@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love the direction your style is taking, Rae. You wear the touch of refinement and polish well. You also seem very comfortable in your evolving look. But I agree, don't make any major investments until you have a better sense of where you are going. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871941 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 22:46:46 +0000 RoseandJoan 871941@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Okay, it is in my nature to deal with the practical first, are you working four day Rae and how often are happy to repeat an outfit?</p> <p>If I where in your position I would be examining your existing wardrobe and looking to create eight solid outfits to wear whilst you adjusted to the new environment and changing style. Once you know more of your desired outcome then you can begin to purchase. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871934 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 22:37:16 +0000 rachylou 871934@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like how you put that, Claire. "Appropriate but me" was what needed to happen to my wardrobe personally (and I'm working on it, lol). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871931 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 22:32:45 +0000 Anonymous 871931@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rae, I just re-read this entire thing and had a couple thoughts.</p> <p>Re. blazers: I actually gave away a lot of 2011 blazers because they felt either too cropped or too small. I know I'm 5 pounds heavier now than then but I don't think it is what caused it. We were buying these things too darn small. Could that be the issue with your blazers not layering well?</p> <p>Skirts: I actually lowered the hem on a couple of pencils shirts and they feel a lot more modern. Do you still have the rust colored, brocade skirt? I love that one. You can certainly put together a very sleek, fashion forward look with a simple blouse, tights and a more sleek pair of boots - booties, which I think you should look into. </p> <p>Pants: Yes, you can taper the sloans. I actually tapered some navy blue pants a while back, but I'm waiting for warmer weather to sport them. I don't like how they look with any of my winter coats.</p> <p>How are you with blouses? silk tunics are life savers for me - like the snakeskin I posted about- you can do so much with them. Perhaps you can invest in a couple.</p> <p>Oh, I'm totally rambling. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871907 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 22:11:44 +0000 Ingunn 871907@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You've got great advice, Rae, and I don't have much to add. I think your style muscles are more than strong enough to pull off a new direction pretty painlessly for you, maybe utilizing only a few of your classic pieces from back then, paired with something fresh, modern, that feels very much like *you* now. Your new hair (which I adore), your new job - everything falls into place eventually. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871895 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 22:02:06 +0000 Anonymous 871895@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Okay, I'm back now! As others have mentioned, your hair transformation has been hugely important (you almost look like a different person) and that can change the way your old things look on you. Like Suz said, you may be rethinking things at the foundational level, such as necklines and scarves or even earrings. </p> <p>From there you can assess style and what's coming down the pike that you feel drawn to. There is probably a work-appropriate version of most things you like, save for the super-rugged UWP combat gear. I think if you dig deep down inside you might already have the answers to where you want to go next. And don't worry what any of us think about it. There is no right or wrong here, we just need to be able to have fun!<br /> You are so insightful, helpful and professional that I have NO doubt that this will translate into some super fashionable, appropriate outfits that will take you exactly where you want to go in your career. </p> <p>I was at such a loss when I started volunteering at DFS more than a year ago. But a funny thing has happened. Instead of having a capsule of ugly but serviceable (and cheap!) business casual--sort of like corporate drag--my whole wardrobe is a little bit nicer, better quality and dressier than it was then. I have less denim and more transitional, smart casual pieces that work for my real life and for volunteering. I found that I was absolutely miserable wearing things that were appropriate but "not me" to work. It was better to upgrade my clothes in general than to keep the two categories separate. Now I feel like I'm my genuine self at DFS, and like I'm better than before at home, not that I have arrived yet, heh! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871883 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 21:44:41 +0000 Deborah 871883@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rae I don't have much advise but it sounds like the SA's are free to express themselves stylewise. If that's the case then can your capsule encompass your UWP stylings with perhaps additional polish? You have a new haircut, which can affect how our clothes work and perhaps you are in a personal style evolution phase. My question would be how do you see your work style persona. How do you want to look and what do you want to communicate? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871872 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 21:38:50 +0000 Tina.b 871872@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I read your post before I went to lunch and didn't respond at first because I wanted to think a little. Still don't know if I can offer any substantial advice as I've never been in the same situation. You've received some great ideas above. </p> <p>I see you in the midst of a style evolution and that is an exciting place to be. A lot of it is an external force with the new job. I would say definitely create a work capsule with the existing pieces in your wardrobe and then plan additions from there. Again, I would view if as a gradual process, not reactionary. Because you already have a great wardrobe to work from. </p> <p>I might even consider devising a "work uniform" sort of strategy. Focus on high quality pieces that you will be able to get considerable wear from. I still think you could take an interesting black blazer and create so many amazing looks with it, considering your amazing intuition for style. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871861 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 21:29:07 +0000 Suz 871861@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rae, I'm not the best example, as it seems to be taking me ages to figure out the best way to create my various capsules (work at home, appearances, city visits, MOTG, etc.) </p> <p>But Claire's advice makes an enormous amount of sense to me. Truly, it's time to move forward, and this is your chance. I like the idea of building a small but high quality capsule for now and adding to it gradually, as Gaylene suggests. You don't need a LOT of stuff for work, but you do need stuff that makes you feel fantastic. If the banking clothes don't , and can't be repurposed in a way that feels true to your current needs, well...you know.....</p> <p>I also agree with those who say that the change in your hairstyle may be key. For me, necklines that worked well with longer hair did not look so great with shorter hair -- and vice versa. It threw off my proportions and caused me to reevaluate almost every top and topper in my closet. This is partly because I have a big (long) head and am also a bit long from chin to bust (or at least not short there) but I found I really needed to do different things in that area. If you are discovering something similar, that may be another reason to bid goodbye to items you used to love. </p> <p>You are so very stylish that you will certainly find your way. But I know the frustration and feel it, too. Hang in there!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871860 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 21:29:05 +0000 Caro in Oz 871860@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Claire &amp; Gaylene. I don't think it is always advisable to try to make things work. Especially things from a time when you weren't happy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871809 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 20:53:13 +0000 Gaylene 871809@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just wanted to jump in to echo Claire's advice. After having been in your position more than once for various reasons, I think it is important to focus on the future instead of trying to re-work the past. My solution has always been to design a small, core wardrobe that incorporates items in my current closet that I still find workable with a few new, carefully selected items. A few well-chosen tops, bottoms, and accessories can go a long way to create a different style statement. I've also found, since these new items need to be workhorses, it pays to spend a bit more to make sure that each item fits perfectly and looks good on my body, especially if others will be judging you by looking at what you are wearing.</p> <p>Personally, I think the hardest part of the whole process is letting go previous certainties, as in "x is my style". It's not easy to substitute "was" for "is", but stubbornly holding on to past loves can prevent you from embracing your new direction. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871784 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 20:26:52 +0000 texstyle 871784@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would imagine it does feel really challening Rae - I mean you are in a job where you are sort of expected to look a certain way by the very nature of the job. But I've seen so many great outfits on you, so I know you are definitely up to the challenge. </p> <p>And the advice of "taking it slow" is really good, even though you might have to buy a few "fillers" if needed until you can get it figured out a bit more.</p> <p>For me (and probably many people) shoes seem to be especially hard - style plus comfort is that ever elusive thing we all want. I recently got a catalog from a company called Comfortology that seemed to have some decent options in various styles. Maybe it's worth looking at their web site. </p> <p>I love jackets (even though I don't get to wear them as much here in Texas) and have seen you with some really great ones, but I know some may be a bit more UWP than you want for every work day. I wish there were more affordable jacket/blazer options in better, more interesting styles. </p> <p>I guess I don't have a lot of advice - I'm still trying to figure out my own style and I don't even have to worry about work place acceptance since I office at home for the most part. But I DO want to look my best.</p> <p>Can't wait to see your continuing style journey - so far it's been really fun reading and seeing your posts! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871764 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 19:58:44 +0000 Anonymous 871764@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am *hardly* the person to be giving you fashion advice, but I can really see your style evolving FORWARD. If you agree this is the case, I wouldn't buy things to make the old bank clothes work (thus throwing good money after bad), but take the few loves you have that are appropriate for your new job and buy them some new friends that a fashion forward, fabulous and that make your heart sing.</p> <p>Oops a friend of mine just stopped by. To be continued... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871759 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 19:55:06 +0000 rachylou 871759@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A darn good question. </p> <p>I can give you a "what not to do": Don't be like me. As a contractor, I move on to new projects and workplaces every two years. I am so guilty of mad shopping sprees and overspending with every transition. It's sad because, as <a href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-v-setting-unsuccessful-wiws">mentioned,</a> I have this impulse for visual integrity with my built environment, the spiritus loci. I don't even care that much about blending in with my co-workers. I mean, you may think being part of the nameless, faceless crowd is chicken, but it's a time-tested survival strategy. My clothing money really should have been doing more than it was doing.</p> <p>This is what I think led me to looking into personal branding and truth in advertising, which in turn led me here to YLF. I started to recognise a need for more consistency and more me in my wardrobe. Obviously still working on this; it's very easy for me to get distracted and veer off course.</p> <p>Ya, so I'm all for not rushing, so long as you are not feeling shabby. Look at what you've got v. *your brand* v. your parameters (like the need for polish at work). See how you can nudge things up to par. Avoid a style white-wash if you can.</p> <p>Oh, I have to add that I do think you have a unique challenge re. UWP style. I worked in women's boutiques for a bit with my RATE style. If I have one piece of brass tacks advice, my opinion is that the one place you should limit the RATE-ness - it's in the shoes. *Distressed* shoes upset people. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871755 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 19:50:46 +0000 retailgirl 871755@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Rae! When I first worked at Nordstrom, coming from<br /> Macys, where suited looks were the norm for managers, (I wore a lot of Jones New York and Talbots, this was before Macy's assoc. had to wear black), I found it hard and felt like I looked like a "hick". I added to my wardrobe bit by bit. I don't know if they still do it, but there used to be a 40 per cent discount for employees on Nordstrom private label several times a year. One thing you'll find: you are strongly discouraged from wearing spring/summer colors and styles after NAS starts, which is July, so having a summer work wardrobe is a waste of time and money. Think seasonless. Accessories are a great way to update, and the accessories at Nordstrom are fabulous. My wardrobe ended up being lots of black and grey, which suit me, great shoes, handbags and jewelry. And I was even voted best dressed manager by my peers one year! You'll figure it out. I hope you are having fun. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/at-a-style-impasse#post-871746 Fri, 08 Mar 2013 19:41:17 +0000 rae 871746@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I WISH I could afford Angie, that is a dream within a dream within a dream, lol. </p> <p>Like I said, I'm not rushing into anything. It is weird to feel stressed over outfits again. :T I like the idea of using Pinterest for work as well as personal style. Watching is good; I just don't want to fall into the trap I sometimes have of copying others and losing myself. The pumps I just got will hopefully help some of my rugged jackets look more dressy. </p> <p>I really need warmer pants, though. The silk ones are so nice and current, but so cold! I wonder if I can taper my Sloans, because right now they only work with high heels. </p>