https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 19 Apr 2026 16:32:11 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782723 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 02:40:51 +0000 Suz 782723@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah. I think I stand as a bad example for you....over the last year I seem to have bought a LOT of stuff I didn't need. And now I am purging it. </p> <p>Well, a "lot" is probably an exaggeration. ALL of it (except one really misguided skirt) got worn, and most of it got worn a lot....and also, most was bought at consignment or on sale so really was not terribly expensive....but now I wonder, if I bought full price high quality, would I be recycling it now? </p> <p>I actually think I would be, because I just couldn't know my style that well, to start....and also I did not have the luxury of buying a complete wardrobe from scratch in my ideal style anyway....just didn't have the resources to do that. And I needed a complete wardrobe due to weight change. </p> <p>I HOPE as I cull from this year's pile and replace with newer items that I am making better (i.e. longer-lasting) choices of items that will allow me to have less overall. But I can't be certain this is going to happen. My style direction may take another shift again.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782585 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 00:12:09 +0000 JR 782585@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just started two birthdays ago to buy a present for myself. It's fun. It's something that is not an absolute necessity, but makes me feel very happy and which I can be pretty sure that nobody else will get me. I blame Naturalizer, because they send birthday coupons.</p> <p>Other than that, no, I don't consider my purchases presents. They have to fit some defined "need" or wardrobe hole. Mind you, the cheaper the item (or the deeper the discount) the more inclined I am to justify the purchase. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782584 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 00:11:30 +0000 Makrame 782584@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This might sound funny but I just made myself a gift of a Kitchenaid stand mixer. I felt like it was an indulgence, not a necessity. It is a very nice, retro looking red mixer (DS said it looked like something Betty Draper would cook with) and I bought it on a pre-black Friday special as a sort of early gift for myself. I know it is a household object but frankly our household did not need it, it was more of a treat for me.</p> <p>With clothes, I usually feel this way when we buy clothing when traveling (does not happen often) - it is often more of a treat and a memento rather than a necessary object. I rarely feel this way about clothing items that are more of a planned purchase. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782582 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 00:08:52 +0000 Mochi 782582@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(cross posted with Suz and will read her comment now)</p> <p>Oh, now that begs another interesting question, caro, about minimalism. (By which I mean the total size of your wardrobe, rather than a pared-down, minimalist outfit.) Even figuring that minimalism is probably a relative term, can you come to minimalism from a meager, insufficient wardrobe? Or do you really need to pare down from a big wardrobe to achieve a stripped-down wardrobe? I mean, I guess, are the mistakes that lead to purchasing too many things almost a requirement, assuming very few people are genius enough in understanding their own style to immediately get exactly what they need and nothing extra or superfluous (that word again)?</p> <p>It relates to me in that I'm wondering if I will, should, could go thru a phrase where I buy a lot of stuff before figuring out that I don't need it all. At this point I really feel at sea, so a lot of the buying is probably an (expensive) experiment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782578 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 00:06:12 +0000 Suz 782578@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very interesting. </p> <p>I think I am coming at it a little from BOTH ways! </p> <p>Like you, Mochi, I've sometimes found it very difficult to spend on clothes for myself and so part of my YLF journey has been to remind myself that in my climate, a good coat is an absolute requirement, as are a certain number of tops, bottoms, gloves, boots, etc. </p> <p>And this reminder has helped me to build up a moderate wardrobe over the past year, without excessive guilt. </p> <p>The problem comes when I ask myself what *is" that *certain number.* Maybe it is 5. In that case, I already have more than enough. </p> <p>That's where the idea of a "present" comes in. Sometimes if I want something "extra" I will try to justify it to myself with the idea that it is a "present." Often I will buy it with money that is unexpected (i.e. a gift, or some unexpected -- and rare -- writing related income.) The idea of a "present" is also more appealing when I am trying to persuade myself to buy higher quality items or items at a higher price point. These are luxuries, really, not necessities. Even if they ARE necessities. If you know what I mean. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782577 Tue, 27 Nov 2012 00:02:30 +0000 Caro in Oz 782577@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I find I'm becoming more &amp; more minimalist so I tend to buy only what I need &amp; I am always looking for ways to reduce what I bring into the place. </p> <p>Having said that I used to buy myself "treats" when I was working. I used to try to keep them small but sometimes didn't.........I think qfbrenda makes an interesting point about guilt too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782569 Mon, 26 Nov 2012 23:55:05 +0000 Mochi 782569@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is really one of these self-indulgent questions that don't really matter but are fun to parse out (for me anyway). qfbrenda, your sentence "Perhaps calling it a "present" for a particular occasion would make them feel better about it." is exactly what I'm thinking about. For some people it's more of an uplifting feeling to have that sense of rewarding yourself with something special. For me, I am training myself to be more open to spending money (because I can be a real cheapskate, and have long gone with a really pathetically insufficient wardrobe by almost any standard within the middle class). And in contrast I feel like I'm treating myself better by saying, "No, this is not just a frivolous little gift. You really need to have a decent selection of (A, B, C). So this is just fulfilling a basic requirement." And voila, I'm able to let go a lot more of my spending anxiety this way. But I realize we all come at it from different ways of thinking. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782568 Mon, 26 Nov 2012 23:49:12 +0000 Sylvie 782568@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No, not unless it's my birthday (then I will pick a few purchases and call them my birthday presents to myself)</p> <p>Semi-related anecdote.</p> <p>Store SA: Are you shopping for a particular occasion today?<br /> Me: No<br /> Store SA: Ah, just treating yourself then?</p> <p>I was a little put off, because I felt (in hindsight unreasonably) that she was suggesting the clothes were expensive for me, so I'd be treating myself by buying one for no reason.</p> <p>I will admit that I don't get the concept of "treating yourself" because I think of treats as rewards for children, ie people who haven't yet learned self control.</p> <p>Other than physical constraints/having the money, there is no reason not to buy something that is nice but not necessary. Since I set a budget for myself, I just need to figure out if I want "Item x" more than some hypothetical future "Item Y". </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782563 Mon, 26 Nov 2012 23:46:32 +0000 Raisin 782563@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmmm not really. I will tell my husband specific things I want for Christmas or birthdays. Other times when I buy myself clothes I just usually think of them as items I needed or wanted. Well most likely wanted, there's not too much I truely need, but sometimes their needs in the sense that I'm replacing some items. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782553 Mon, 26 Nov 2012 23:38:28 +0000 deb 782553@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do not think of purchases for myself as presents. Maybe it is because I think of presents only for birthdays, mother's day, Christmas. I feel uncomfortable if i receive a present just because. I feel obligated to reciprocate. Hmmm....personalty flaw??? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782545 Mon, 26 Nov 2012 23:32:06 +0000 qfbrenda 782545@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It depends. Generally not, but the Fossil I bought yesterday definitely counts as a present... for Christmas, specifically. I don't know if it will change my appreciation of said bag--probably won't affect it one way or the other. For me, considering it a present is purely practical. I don't need this great bag AND a different Christmas present. So hubby and I consider me covered for Christmas morning. ;)</p> <p>It is an interesting question, especially for those who tend to feel guilty about getting themselves something nice. Perhaps calling it a "present" for a particular occasion would make them feel better about it. I don't tend to feel guilty about things like that as long as I'm staying within budget so I don't think it affects me much. I'll have to think about this more and am interested in reading others responses. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782544 Mon, 26 Nov 2012 23:30:57 +0000 Mo 782544@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>?? For me, the only purchases I make for myself that I consider presents are with gift cards or checks presented on holidays (birthday, Christmas). But I'm not sure what you mean exactly beyond that. I guess we reward ourselves in many ways - a nice dinner, fancy coffee at a cafe when we have a pot at home. Purchases that I make just because I want them are not presents. They are clothing expenses, and sometimes frivolous! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782542 Mon, 26 Nov 2012 23:30:38 +0000 Emily 782542@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think I understand what you mean... wardrobe purchases as a treat vs a planned expense? If I've just finished a difficult project or gotten or a raise or something at work sometimes I will celebrate by splurging on a bag or shoes or something, and in that case I would consider it a gift from me to me. If I'm buying new pants because I need new pants, not a gift. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-purchases-presents#post-782538 Mon, 26 Nov 2012 23:23:59 +0000 Mochi 782538@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Obviously, or perhaps not, I'm referring to stuff we buy for ourselves. But it could be anything at almost any price point and across the board in functionality. A great pair of boots, a leather jacket, whatever. </p> <p>In my case, when I'm buying myself booties or some type of shoes these days or even a scarf, I'm decidedly not considering them to be presents. Of course I could get by without them, sure, but for me, that would imply that they're things I don't need, so superfluous. If I look at a purchase as something nice but necessary, I feel more justified with it somehow...I'm not trying to rationalize. Maybe it doesn't even matter. I'm just curious as to how others feel about their purchases, and which is more likely to shore up (y)our appreciation and sense of deserving of the item, and joy in ownership. I hope this question makes sense! </p>