YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 21 Apr 2026 22:46:21 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php columbine(erin) on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1016619 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 07:45:45 +0000 columbine(erin) 1016619@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you DV. Day Vies on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1016527 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 04:14:21 +0000 Day Vies 1016527@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Columbine - I hope all is well with you, your baby and your husband. I'm glad that this thread can be a bright spot for you. anne on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1016523 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 03:57:26 +0000 anne 1016523@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ DV this is such an interesting post and thread and I have been following it closely. columbine(erin) on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1016511 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 03:34:32 +0000 columbine(erin) 1016511@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ DV, you are an articulate and inspirational lady and I always enjoy your posts. I'm not around much because my husband is deployed and baby is having medical issues but had to say that. Day Vies on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1016333 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 00:08:32 +0000 Day Vies 1016333@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Von -- I completely get where you're coming from. It's hard to not feel as if you should conform your body to the standard when that's all you see -- especially in office environments. I did indeed wear that outfit on Saturday and I'll wear versions of that outfit from now on because I know that I can. Vickie KY on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1015984 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 17:25:31 +0000 Vickie KY 1015984@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You look great. I just got some red pants. I am going to try and put together an outfit based on yours. Vickie Von on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1015721 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 13:17:48 +0000 Von 1015721@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I love this outfit! Those red skinnies look awesome with your jacket.  You look well put together and stylish....not well put together for XYZ shape or size. I personally have been trying to get to the point where other people's problems are not my own.  I have (what I think) is a gigantic butt.  The butt Sir Mix A Lot wrote the song about, and no hips...it's all out back!  I am also busty on top and I feel like I have spent my life minimizing myself to not be offensive looking or attention grabbing to others.  I'm sure lots of you ladies know how hard it is to hide bustiness in today's age of *fitted everything* and hide your butt until "boot legs come back" LOL!! I'm sloooowly getting to the point of accepting what I have (great curves!) and feeling like it's OK not to dress like a dumpy frump every day at the office in order to look like I'm straight built, because there's no hiding that I'm not! I say rock those red skinnies! I hope you did wear that outfit out, or plan to in the future. MsMaven on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1015287 Wed, 28 Aug 2013 00:11:35 +0000 MsMaven 1015287@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Outfit by outfit you are knocking me out with your style.  I appreciate your courage in trying different styles that should be against the "rules" that have been drummed into our heads through magazines and books.   Day Vies on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1014828 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 16:33:49 +0000 Day Vies 1014828@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Irene I think we have the same body (short torso, large bust, long legs) ! ;-)  Irene on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1014774 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 15:38:46 +0000 Irene 1014774@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have tried trends that I thought wouldn't work for me -and they didn't. Like tucking tops (short torso, long legs and big bust... just no) into pants or trapeze dresses (hello, tent-shapeless-woman). But then again, I am a perfectionist. Btw, you look FANTASTIC in that outfit. Asingh on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1014489 Tue, 27 Aug 2013 05:58:19 +0000 Asingh 1014489@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You look great, DV! And isn't dressing-up a lot about experimenting! Janet on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013924 Mon, 26 Aug 2013 15:26:20 +0000 Janet 1013924@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Such great insights here. In a way it's comforting to see others here whose style I admire have some of the same kind of concerns I do. We all adjust our love for some styles to suit our bodies. The look below is a great example of something I wish I could wear. But I can't imagine that style of short/skirt looking right on my body. There are a lot of looks like this that make me sigh. I don't wish to be 20 years old and a size 2, but it sure would make it easier to wear something like this. I'm pretty sure that if I posted a pic of me in this, the feedback would be kind but not encouraging (the last time I bothered trying a miniskirt and posting it for feedback, even with tights, taught me this). I don't believe this is an issue of age-appropriateness, because I can think of a few 40-somethings here who would get the green light to wear this. So, it comes down to body type. I just have to find other interesting cuts that work for me. Hence my love for jackets. Elly on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013897 Mon, 26 Aug 2013 14:33:58 +0000 Elly 1013897@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've definitely felt that way before. I'm fairly tall, broad shouldered, and built on the muscular and curvy side depending on my activity levels. I'm not into the overtly feminine, but I find many of my favorite looks either come off as "in your face curvy" on me, or simply make me look big/frumpy/chunky. I don't change my style to reflect what flatters me persay, but I definitely am guilty of not figuring out how to wear things I do like in a way that doesn't make me feel self-conscious. I need to work on that. For example-- I would love to work a pair of skinnies to show off booties, but can't get over the fact that I tend to look like a hip hop music video extra in them. I also struggle with the "roomy" trend, because although I like the look if the styling isn't just right you totally loose the fact that I am not as big as my shoulders and hips are all over, and one wrong piece can make me look more "mommy of 3 who gave up on my appearance" than "young, cool professional". Eliza on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013883 Mon, 26 Aug 2013 14:06:12 +0000 Eliza 1013883@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Appreciate this thoughtful post. You look amazing in that outfit. Double take worthy. You are so good at creating beautiful lines with well cut items that fit perfectly. Elegant. It is interesting to see the responses because the bottom line is we all have body characteristics to stir into our efforts to create a functional wardrobe that is happiness inducing. We can be so hard on ourselves, following rules and assumptions that often mean we miss opportunities. Thanks for another wake up call. Day Vies on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013852 Mon, 26 Aug 2013 13:38:17 +0000 Day Vies 1013852@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Janet - I think your outfits are amazing and your shoe collection is the stuff of dreams (at least it is for me). I am not sure I would have know that you believed your body type did not fit the style of clothing you loved. I know we all live in out heads and believe that I'm the only one who can't wear ____ but this thread had crystallized that other people think it about themselves too (albeit a different body part and article of clothing). Firecracker -- I love those booties on you! I am so glad you posted. It's so great to see women breaking free from these self-imposed rules (especially when there's a really nice pair of booties involved).I think if you love the shoes get them and use muted color on your legs to distract you from your internal dialogue. I found nothing objectionable about your legs in skinny heels. I do in full disclosure have a strong bias for refined footwear. Deborah - I think we're in the same boat. I have now become hyper-vigilant looking for the the next rule I impose on myself that says I can't wear ____. I haven't found it yet (probably because I'm still reeling from this) but I am sure there are still more I have not yet become aware of. I just love that YLF is a wonderful safe space to debut those looks that make us insecure. Jeanie -- I understand about volume and a chest ! I agree with Rute now that there is a way to make look work for any body shape. I just think it's a matter of finding volume + shape. I so appreciate everyone's input to make this an interesting thoughtful discussion thread. Thank you!  AnnieMouse on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013840 Mon, 26 Aug 2013 13:24:54 +0000 AnnieMouse 1013840@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you for this post. The limitations we set upon ourselves due to our personal interpretations of our bodies can do a number on our minds, I agree. I needed to hear it articulated this way today. rute on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013756 Mon, 26 Aug 2013 08:01:05 +0000 rute 1013756@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Gorgeous!! I believe we can always find a way to make a trend work for us!  Jeanie on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013745 Mon, 26 Aug 2013 05:11:00 +0000 Jeanie 1013745@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You look great!  I like the oversized look of Marni (such as in the photo below) but I definitely have in my mind that it is a 'skinny women' look.  I am very large chested and know that those oversized unstructured lines don't look best on me.  Still I am drawn to the look but I have never tried it.  Such a great topic.  We will all learn so much! Deborah on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013735 Mon, 26 Aug 2013 04:12:07 +0000 Deborah 1013735@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ DV this is a brilliant thread and I have been pondering your topic question for a few days now. I have a lot of beliefs about my body that have caused me to create a lot of personal rules about what I do and don't wear.  Some are realistic and help me to dress the best for my figure, some are are restrictive and unnecessary but birthed through the belief that if I can't look as good as the model wearing it, then I shouldn't bother. Thanks to YLF, I have slowly been breaking free from some of my own rules, and have started to embrace the body I do have as opposed to the one I don't have Firecracker (Sharan) on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013653 Mon, 26 Aug 2013 00:52:37 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1013653@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have a feeling I don't think in terms of complete looks or outfits so much. I have just started on Pinterest and so far my only board is one that I used in searching for handbags. I haven't gotten to pinning looks yet. I think more in terms of specific garments and try to envision how I might wear them with things I have. And yet, I do see complete looks or outfits and think I'd like to wear something like that. I don't usually get around to intentionally copying the look; my inspiration is more amorphous or perhaps even subconscious. You have me thinking about trying to use Pinterest to gather looks I'm drawn to, as an aid in evolving my style. Meanwhile, what I've come up with for a look or style that I have avoided is skinny-heeled shoes. I just bought the Donald Pliner Tillie boot at NAS, and it's pretty much a departure for me. I have avoided this heel profile--in favor of thicker, blockier, more substantial-looking heels--because of my calf shape. I always felt little heels looked out of balance and just not pretty with my calves overpowering them. (I did buy one other pair of petite heeled shoes about a year ago, some brown Cole Haan pumps that I unfortunately do not wear because they turned out to be uncomfortable. I just need to do Angie's wet-foot trick, now that I know about it, but haven't gotten around to it.) Now, I'm not sure that petite-heeled shoes are part of my authentic self-expression, but they are a style I have admired on others but avoided for, like, forever. Until now. P.S. Also, I wouldn't have dreamed of even trying on a high-vamped shoe like this with a dress, until YLF. CocoLion on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013581 Sun, 25 Aug 2013 22:05:41 +0000 CocoLion 1013581@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You look really good in pants and skinnies.  I think these types of outfits work well on you.  You have toned, straight and long legs.  I have never seen you look bad in pants or jeans.   Janet on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013561 Sun, 25 Aug 2013 21:13:37 +0000 Janet 1013561@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This is tricky for me. At what point do the realities of my body become my personal beliefs or perceptions? I would dearly love to rock the kind of detailed and interesting pants I see on slimmer-legged ladies, but I just cannot bring myself to do it. I gravitate towards looks that are worn by willowy types (after all, rock chicks are usually pretty skinny), but I'm pushing 50 and decidedly not willowy. I've got boobs and I've got hips, and there are a lot of looks out there that appeal to me that just don't look "right" on my body. I try to push my limits but sometimes that results in some unfortunate mistakes. Other times I manage to push the boundary of flattery and get the balance right enough to make me happy. Other women with bigger bodies than me unabashedly wear bolder looks, it's true, but I have to stay true to my personal combination of aesthetics and emotional comfort. But enough about me! DV, this look is fantastic on you and I cannot imagine why you would not wear it and enjoy it often! You have a wonderful sense of style. Day Vies on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013535 Sun, 25 Aug 2013 20:15:52 +0000 Day Vies 1013535@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hil - I love Florence's suggestion. I think you should post somethings and we (the forum) can help you figure out how to make it work for you. No sense in denying yourself what you obviously like because you're not young and thin. There is no rule that only the young and thin get to enjoy great trends while the old and fluffy are relegated to frumptastic offerings. I would have to empty my closet if that were true. FlorenceFearne on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013515 Sun, 25 Aug 2013 19:38:06 +0000 FlorenceFearne 1013515@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ @Hil - I'd love to see you rock some geek chic. And I bet if you posted an item or two that you really like, the ladies of the forum would happily help you figure out how to style it so it flatters. I'm even volunteering to lead the charge! If you post it, I will help (or try). :D  Gaylene on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013510 Sun, 25 Aug 2013 19:24:07 +0000 Gaylene 1013510@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ As you point out, it takes a certain bravery to try things that run counter to that internal voice and risk a potential negative encounter with someone who helpfully wants to "police" what we wear. I suspect for many of us the solution is to find certain situations where we can feel a bit freer to express our personality. That's one of the reasons I like to travel; in situations where no one knows me, and where I am unlikely to meet the people I encounter again, I don't hesitate to show off my athletic calves in a skirt. The funniest part of this was the admiring looks that I got in some of the Mediterranean countries where a solid-looking leg was obviously not considered to be totally unattractive by at least some of the men that I encountered. Hil on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013500 Sun, 25 Aug 2013 18:57:22 +0000 Hil 1013500@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Day Vies - I have spent a lot of my adult life fighting my body and believing the way I look doesn't translate into lots of current trends. As an example, I think that whilst I love things that are geeky cool, hipsterish type stuff, they look fab on skinny young things, but on an overweight mid-thirties mom, they will just look frumpy and awful. I have only just gotten brave enough to try a semi tuck!!!! Joan Joplin on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression/page/2#post-1013466 Sun, 25 Aug 2013 17:37:21 +0000 Joan Joplin 1013466@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You look great! I'm glad you tried that look. I don't think I dress to hide anything. I my mid teens I made peace with the fact that I have what I would call a "visible" body. I wear a 28J bra (28M in US sizing) and that attracts a lot of attention. But I like my body, and I like my small waist and I wear things that highlight my body. I do avoid styles that "fight" my body type, but that often means avoiding things that conceal my form and sticking to things that emphasize my curves. I know that I do get stared at more often than my friends, but I'm also more modest than many of them. I just have an unusual body type that stands out in the crowd and I've learned to accept and then embrace that. Day Vies on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression#post-1013434 Sun, 25 Aug 2013 16:19:37 +0000 Day Vies 1013434@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ingunn -- I am so glad you wear pencil skirts skinny jeans and sheath dresses any way because it would be difficult to create your amazing capsules without those key pieces. You always look wonderful. I am glad you posted your boho look. I struggle with that style myself but I think you have made it your own because it nods at the style but you haven't lost yourself to the point where you look like you're wearing someone else's clothes. Thank you for sharing your story and picture! Gabrielle - thank you -- that is so sweet of you to say!  Anonymous on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression#post-1013329 Sun, 25 Aug 2013 10:12:03 +0000 Anonymous 1013329@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You look absolutely gorgeous.  You are one of my people to watch because you always get it right.   Ingunn on "Are your beliefs about your body restricting your authentic expression?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-your-beliefs-about-your-body-restricting-your-authentic-expression#post-1013303 Sun, 25 Aug 2013 05:47:02 +0000 Ingunn 1013303@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ DV, you are stunning in that outfit, and the colors are divine. You knew I adore light blue with red, right? The proportions are right indeed, and you look very fresh and polished. I also enjoyed to read your insights and life lessons. I agree 100% - most things and actions can be perceived in so many ways, and how you think of it influences your feelings about it. You are giving yourself a gift of wellbeing by managing to keep up a positive mind set, and not giving in to read a lot of negativity into other people's comments and actions. I'm in general anxious about looks that make my hips prominent. Thus, I find pencil skirts and sheaths very challenging on me, however I love the look on others.Maybe it's the lack of balance on top that bothers me. I'm also not comfortable with outfits/styles that strays too far away from my style personae. I don't "do" boho very well, for example. I tried mixing white jeans with a linen tunic dress, and all of a sudden boho felt right for me.